"GIVE BLACK MEN GRACE" SAID NANDI FROM A PLACE OF PRIVILEGE. GIVE THEM YOURSELF NANDI!

What this episode is about

The content critiques the call for compassion towards black men by highlighting the privileges they hold within a patriarchal system that also oppresses black women. It argues that the struggles faced by black women, exacerbated by their vulnerability in relationships with men, warrant a focus on providing them with grace and support, rather than defending the men who have benefited from systemic inequalities.

Key takeaways

• Grace is a two-way street; while black men seek it, black women navigate a freeway of systemic oppression.
• Privilege allows you to preach grace; survival teaches women to be wary of those who created the system.
• In a patriarchal society, calling for grace from the oppressed feels like asking a storm to calm itself.
• Black women face double jeopardy: racism and sexism, while men expect grace without acknowledging their systemic role.
• Compassion in discourse is vital, but it shouldn't overlook the reality of trauma borne from historically entrenched inequalities.

Who speaks in this episode?

• Nandi (Guest) · 9 min speaking
• Dazzling Diamond (Guest) · 22 min speaking

What is discussed, and when

1. 0:00 – 5:00: South Africa, Nandi
2. 5:00 – 10:00: South Africa
3. 15:00 – 20:00: Nandi

Notable quotes from ""GIVE BLACK MEN GRACE" SAID NANDI FROM A PLACE OF PRIVILEGE. GIVE THEM YOURSELF NANDI!"

• You know guys, dozen diamonds, on one end of the stick, you can understand what Unandi is saying. Life is so tough for black men, right?

  about Nandi · at 6:43

• And a majority of the black women in South Africa are the ones that are saying, What do you mean give them grace?

  about South Africa · at 8:14

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

• Nandi — Person · Referenced speaker / viewpoint anchor · 2 mentions · first at 0:10
  Cited as the person arguing for giving Black men grace due to systemic oppression; her stance is debated and contrasted with the lived experiences and fears described by the narrator.

Places & events

• South Africa — Place · Setting · 2 mentions · first at 4:31
  The discussion focuses on the socio-economic and gender dynamics within South Africa, particularly concerning black men and women.

Full transcript with timestamps

0:00 Because as much as the system it's is not favorable for black men, it is not favorable for black women. is the very same black men that Unandi is saying give grace to that we are afraid of because it's different when you're coming from a place of privilege because is it not that men are the ones that created this system this patriarchy that we are in this [ __ ] hole that we are in They've benefited from the patriarchy, be it in the workplace, in marriages, in homes, just in life in general. And today they need grace from the same patriotical system that they created.

0:58 And then they say, "She's a proper woman. She's she's proper. She was raised right, rich. She's rich. She came from a wealthy family and then married a proper man. They keep on pointing that out, how rich or what family she came from before. So, she doesn't understand the struggle of a woman that doesn't want to be with a sugar daddy, but does it because of the circumstances that they are in. Hoes are hoes at the end of the day. I don't like that thing. But she doesn't get that part, right? Give grace to woman. Nandi, you are coming from a place of privilege where your life has been very cotton candyish.

1:48 You don't really know the darkness that is out here. The darkness that is these black men. Give grace to black women because they are trying to survive on a daily basis. Trying to not get graved by black men. Trying not to get killed within their marriages, relationships, give grace to black women. Laws of statuto rape and so on and so forth are created because men need to men need to be told sleeping with a child that is 10 is not right. But they still do it. They are word babies that are months days old. Give grace to women.

2:40 Let them give themselves grace and they can suck a dick. Because with their behaviors, it seems like that's what they're doing. Very, they're sucking dicks. Because if you are a woman and you don't submit to that black man, he hates you. Why? Because he's too busy submitting to other men, bigger, stronger, richer men. So when he comes to you and you don't submit because you know in your heart of hearts that he's a ding-dong idiot a water boy when you don't submit he's going to beat you and kill you black men without opportunities mara and drug addicts he's not all of them I don't give a damn I'm scared of all of them and that doesn't just apply to black men in general because the white ones will chop you up and eat you from what I've seen in the documentaries.

3:44 But they all do something weird. I do here I have to advocate um in a very genuine way. Seriously, our black men have gone through so much

3:53 and financially it is almost impossible to try empower yourself even when you try.

4:00 You know the system's against you. M you know people don't have support from the government. You have 400 years of being, you know, oppressed.

4:09 Where is this money going to come from, you know, and so they we do have to give our fellow black men grace. And if you can see the intention is to do better,

4:20 you know, and and make someone something serious, you know, that's a good guy. Yeah.

4:25 And I mean that genuinely. I always say that like, yo, black men particularly, I'm going to speak about South Africa cuz I'm proudly South African.

4:34 Mhm. Yo, you guys are up against so much. And and and and you know, like uh I think it's interesting because we never have these conversations.

4:44 Um and the rhetoric and the narrative out there is like, yeah, I am not Bob the Builder. I'm not building any man. And we're not saying take a guy that's a bum that has no vision, that has no ambition, and make him your man. But it's like everyone is still working on themselves. I I think we judge each other like very harshly. We're looking for people who are already made or who are like already perfect. And I think that's why there's so much miscommunication between males and females. Dazzling Diamond, welcome to the vault.

5:33 Oh, Nandi, Nandi Nandi Nandi how empathetic you are. Give black men grace. What a beautiful thing. Girl, it's different when you say give black men grace when you're coming from a place of privilege. It's different, isn't it? Oh, Nandi, I'm so sorry if not all women can relate or stand by what you are saying. Because it's different when you're coming from a place of privilege and grace, right? You know guys, dozen diamonds, on one end of the stick, you can understand what Unandi is saying. Life is so tough for black men, right?

7:00 Not many opportunities, not much grace given. But in 2026, that kind of grace needs to be earned. It's a jungle out here. Okay? It's a jungle out here. And [snorts] the crazy thing is I saw a lot of black men coming to her defense when women start to speak up about why they don't actually want to give these black men this grace that Nandi thinks that they deserve. I can understand what she's saying, but I absolutely do understand where the women are coming from. Most of the black men that are responding to what or how responded to Unandi, right?

7:56 D was like, I we need to sit down and talk about this situation because really you want to give them grace. She's not understanding where Nandi is coming from because it's two different worlds at this point. And a majority of the black women in South Africa are the ones that are saying, "What do you mean give them grace? There's a problem with these people." He was talking about opportunities that they don't have. What about the lions and the hyenas in the in the wild? Is is is the lion going to give the hyena grace or the buck the male buck that it is hunting?

8:50 Is it going to give it grace? We run on a system in this weird place that we are in [clears throat] this hell. are the same men that you want us to give grace to. Going to give grace to the lion that does what it has to do because it is a male. Everybody has their gender roles, is it not? And a woman have been oppressed for so long by men. the same men that are rallying behind Nandi right now. It's true because is it not that men are the ones that created this system, this patriarchy that we are in, this [ __ ] hole that we are in.

9:45 They've benefited from the patriarchy. Be it in the workplace, in marriages, in homes, just in life in general. And today they need grace from the same patriotical system that they created. They need grace from that. It doesn't make any freaking sense. The lion is going to go and hunt and do what it has to do for its family. And that's with any other male species in this world. Black men are no different because at the end of the day, we will always still fall under that patriotical system. Everybody gets their role, is it not?

10:36 And she comes from a she's speaking from a place of privilege. Most of the men that are defending her keep on saying, they keep on bringing this up. She's such a great woman. She's so soft. Oh, look at what she was saying on the podcast. She wants to give him more kids. That's what she want us to do. Kids kids kids kids. Patriarchy. Listen to her. She's so soft spoken. She understands. She She has a heart. She's compassionate and empathetic. And then they say she's a proper woman. She's she's proper. She was raised right. Rich.

11:18 She's rich. She came from a wealthy family and then married a proper man. They keep on pointing that out. How rich or what family she came from before. So, she doesn't understand the struggle of a woman that doesn't want to be with a sugar daddy but does it because of the circumstances that they are in. Hoes are hoes at the end of the day. I don't like that thing. But she doesn't get that part right. She can give grace because she had her father that provided for her and then got married to a man that does the same thing. So no matter how you look at it, she's always had a comfortable life.

12:05 Not to say that she's not a hard worker, but she's been taken care of by the men in her life. You men are saying that, are you not? By pointing out how she came from a good family with money. They always keep saying that with money. Therefore, it makes her a better person, a better woman. That's what you guys are saying. That's exactly what you're saying. So, you cannot expect her to understand a woman that is sleeping with a 65,000 year old man to survive. And even if he's not 65,000 years old, a older man or a man that has more resources than she does to survive, she you cannot compare the two because you you would never understand it if you are not in it.

13:01 At the end of the day, this world is dog eat. It's a dog eat dog world. It's survival of the fittest. And as much as we can call the hoes holes because they are, you can still have empathy and consider why they are doing what they are doing. Because like Nandi said, girls don't want to actually be with sugar daddies. It's disgusting. The blue pill men, nobody wants to be with them. But is inherently they are not bad people but they have to do grimy things to survive this world. Nandi never had to do that which is why she can be compassionate with you guys.

13:48 But for a woman that is a single mother who was dropped by her lover because he doesn't give a [ __ ] or he just wants to live his life. Men, they get away with a lot. Black men, they get away with a lot. They really do. Our shocked black pen is actually like, "Okay, well Nandi, um, I don't agree. Thank you for saying what you said, but I don't agree. He is one of the men that has broken up families, children with so many different women. Thank goodness in his case, the woman can take care of their kids. But he's he feels like he is winning because there's so many incomes, so he doesn't have to struggle a lot. However, he broke those families.

14:43 That's what men do. And then some men, most men, black men, will leave it to see how you finish by yourself. They don't give a [ __ ] You're going to struggle by yourself to the point where now you're hooking up with men with pot bellies to survive. Because as much as the system is is not favorable for black men, it is not favorable for black women. And it has been set up that way for generations and generations and it will go forward because what does feminism do for anyone? Nothing. What do any of these causes actually do for anyone? Nothing. It's the very same black men that Unandi is saying give grace to that we are afraid of. Every day when I step out of my house, I'm afraid of men.

15:45 You can say all you want and it is true. It is not all of them. That is a fact. But it doesn't negate from the fact that I am still afraid of all of them. Every single one. I'm saying black men because she said black men. Men in general. I'm afraid of them because even with the Caucasians, the Caucasians are a little bit freakier from what we have seen on what is televised and so on and so forth in the the documentaries. Hannibal cannibal, they be slicing and dicing all the time, serial killers. It's usually the profile of the Caucasian ones, but the black men are doing the same damn thing.

16:30 So as much as we can understand that okay maybe they do have it a a bit rough but in that regard it's a race thing because any melaninated person has it a bit rough you have to work a bit harder give grace to melaninated people give them what they are due I would say not black men if you're going to give grace to black men. Give grace to black [ __ ] women. They are doing their best with the circumstances that they are dealt. Where you find those black men are in the clubs popping champagne trying to get ass, forgetting that they have kids that that woman is rising for.

17:21 They still get to live their lives. Those black women, they don't. They don't. Everybody's afforded the same opportunities. Not really. Not really. But as a man who has benefited and who if you're going to be clever enough, you are going to benefit from this patriotical system. Men always, even poor men benefit from impatrioti. Even poor men benefit from it. You get a wife, you get a slave, and then you still got to go out there and cheat and make more babies out there. They still benefit from it. Give grace to woman, Nandi. You are coming from a place of privilege where your life has been very cotton candyish.

18:19 You don't really know the darkness that is out here. the darkness that is these black men. Black women are trying. Give grace to black women because they are trying to survive on a daily basis. Trying to not get graved by black men, trying not to get killed within their marriages, relationships. Give grace to black women. I will always stand for the woman. I can understand the perspective of the man. I get it. But I told you guys already, you're still a slave. You always have been and you always will be. It's not even about when it comes to that.

19:09 It's not even about race because even your own black people are doing it to you. So we always give grace to the woman, the black woman, the angry black woman. You're trying to survive not to be outwarded when you take an Uber or killed in your home or out of it, taking an Uber, going to a mall with your little kids that you are a single mother to. You're trying to survive and get them not kidnapped or all of you just taken. Give grace to black women because when the purple movement was up and running, those weird ass men came up with the green movement. They had to be involved.

20:00 They had to be involved. They have to be involved in everything because they're soft. In my opinion, 2026, they really are. Give grace to black men. Do you know the [ __ ] that they say and think about black women or women in general? And another thing is give grace to black men. They always trying to freaking sleep with you or sleep with anything that moves. It is them that the laws have been created that you should not sleep with animals. It's for the men, not the women. Okay, maybe there are those freaky dicky women out there that will do freaky dicky things to animals, but let's just face it, those laws were made for men.

20:42 Nine times out of 10, when something's going [ __ ] up is because it was a man that was involved. Who are doing those heists is those very same black men. Give them grace. The same men that call people like Ukatala man, admire him. give them grace. Is that the same people that you're talking about? And then you're going to say they wouldn't get into these situations if they had more opportunities. And black women wouldn't even dare get involved in any kind of romantic relationship if they had more opportunities because we would take those opportunities and run away from that black man.

21:26 But it's a patriotical system. You can be a slave to a man for years and you're the one that's clinging on waiting for them to get on their knees and propose to you, but they'll dangle that thing in your face like you're a [ __ ] idiot because they are actually the ones that get to choose. This is man's world. laws of statutory rape and so on and so forth are created because men need to men need to be told sleeping with a child that is 10 is not right but they still do it. They are word babies that are months days old.

22:17 Give grace to women. Men treat women like [ __ ] like trash. forgetting that you yourself came out of a woman's vagina. And you'll be damned if another man treats your daughter like that or your mother or your sister, but you're going to treat somebody else's child like that. Give them grace. They will leave you when you are pregnant only to resurface after you've delivered their baby cuz now they've had their fun and then still expect you to sleep with them weeks after that delivery cuz a man's got to eat. This is a man's world. [screaming] So I'm sorry Nandi if I don't share your same sentiments. Black men must go and hunt like the lion does. I want to eat a lion because damn, black women are put through so much.

23:21 And maybe you don't understand that because your life is very cushioned. But some of us absolutely do. I once needed money when I joined professional kids an agency and I needed a th000 rand mom didn't have it right but she was working on it black woman and I called my father and I said to him please I'm only I'm only asking you to help me this one time I never ask you for anything and my mom doesn't even want me to ask you but can you just help me to get signed to this agency She's just this one time and my mom won't pay you back.

24:04 I just need a,000 rand. And he asked me, "How do you expect me to do that? Because I have to support my other kids." So, I'm sorry if I don't share your same sentiments. Black men think that black women are slaves. You're a slave. while he gallivants all night or every weekend everything where are you there and you probably even ironing his clothes to go and gallivant you're a slave and most of you are doing that to survive because you've got kids with this person they have to survive because once you detach or subtract that energy that you are giving to that man trust and believe they will subtract their love for those kids to the point where they will even go and start a new family and tell your kids and you like my father did me, I have to support my other kids. It's like they just shut off their feelings and emotions when hopping from one woman to another.

25:21 And yes, they are very irresponsible. They are. That's why they become Abu Khala of the world. That's why they have all these kids with different baby mamas, black pen, god pen, and think that it's a great thing because there's so many incomes and just pop more babies and yet a child needs both parents every day. And you think you're doing a great thing because the income is then split. You idiot. They prioritize their friends and buy drinks in the clubs for hoes and wear name brands to show that they are the one instead of supporting their kids that are running around in the sand with snotty noses. They prioritize themselves. They have medical aid, but their kids don't. and they are working.

26:29 Excuse my French, but what the [ __ ] is that? Prioritize empathize give grace to black men. Let them give themselves grace and they can suck a dick. Because with their behaviors, it seems like that's what they're doing. Very, they're sucking dicks. Because if you are a woman and you don't submit to that black man, he hates you. Why? Because he's too busy submitting to other men, bigger, stronger, richer men. So when he comes to you and you don't submit, because you know in your heart of hearts that he's a ding-dong idiot, a water boy, when you don't submit, he's going to beat you and kill you.

27:19 Black men without opportunities. mara and drug addicts. So I'm sorry Nandi if we don't share the same sentiments because you are coming from a place of priv of privilege and the men have said it too. She's so rich. She comes from a rich family. She's perfect. Of course they would say that. And of course you would say what you said. I would like to see that conversation between her and Dino. I would right anyway n you can give the grace to the black man your damn self I still believe that they should go and hunt get that lion you get everything else the whole entire world it's a patriotical system you have it all you earn more than women who are smarter than you everything comes comes easy for them.

28:24 Black women, black men are born in the same circumstances. But we must give grace to the black men. No, because they want to kill us and sleep with us. That's one thing that they really want to do all the time is to sleep with us. Only grace I will give to a black man is my son because I'm raising him not to be like the [ __ ] that are out there. He's not all of them. I don't give a damn. I'm scared of all of them. And that doesn't just apply to black men. Men in general because the white ones will chop you up and eat you from what I've seen in the documentaries.

29:15 But they all do something weird. I was at clicks this morning. And this man, oh my gosh, old, old, old. They probably like in their 60s or 70s. The way he was speaking to HIS WIFE. SA S. HE'S screaming just because she wanted to go and look at some perfumes and they hadn't yet I was at um clicks pharmacy. They hadn't yet called her number, their number. And she's like, "But why? I just want to go see the these people here. I'll be back now. And he was screaming to at the top of his lungs doing all these movements. It was so embarrassing. I was so pissed. I wanted to say something.

29:59 But eventually the way I was boiling eventually before I could say something, she went trottting off to her seat to go sit down. And you could see how boiling he was just because she was going to go walk and go look at perfumes. And at the age that they are, can you imagine how long they've been married and she's been dealing with that [ __ ] Give men grace. Let them give it to themselves. Let them give it to themselves cuz at the end of the day, they are busy submitting to other men that are bigger and better than them.

30:38 Give it to yourselves.

Questions about this episode

Who speaks in ""GIVE BLACK MEN GRACE" SAID NANDI FROM A PLACE OF PRIVILEGE. GIVE THEM YOURSELF NANDI!"?

Nandi (Guest), Dazzling Diamond (Guest).

What is ""GIVE BLACK MEN GRACE" SAID NANDI FROM A PLACE OF PRIVILEGE. GIVE THEM YOURSELF NANDI!" about?

The content critiques the call for compassion towards black men by highlighting the privileges they hold within a patriarchal system that also oppresses black women. It argues that the struggles faced by black women, exacerbated by their vulnerability in relationships with men, warrant a focus on providing them with grace and support, rather than defending the men who have benefited from…

What is mentioned in this Lynn Dakile (The Vault Unlocked) episode?

2 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including South Africa, Nandi. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is ""GIVE BLACK MEN GRACE" SAID NANDI FROM A PLACE OF PRIVILEGE. GIVE THEM YOURSELF NANDI!"?

The episode runs 31 min; the transcript is about 4,040 words in 41 timestamped sections.

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