Ep 571 - Daddy's Dots

What this episode is about

The discussion focuses on the gaming community, particularly experiences in a new game called "Hold Fast," highlighting both enjoyable aspects, like camaraderie and gameplay mechanics, as well as negative interactions, including instances of toxic behavior and offensive language in online gaming. The speakers share anecdotes that reflect the challenges of maintaining a positive community atmosphere amidst these issues.

Key takeaways

• Gaming communities unite, but beware: American servers can turn a friendly chat into a battleground of slurs.
• A 55° bed might be chilly, but sleeping well at night beats worrying about the 'witching hour.'
• With Ring cameras alerting at every squirrel, it’s safer to bayonet a burglar than navigate that chaos.
• California's no-shoot law redefines 'home security'—isn't owning a house about protecting it?
• Screen time checks expose our digital habits: 8 hours sounds bad, but did you check your TikTok scroll?

Who speaks in this episode?

• Matt (Guest) · 34 min speaking
• Shane (Guest) · 34 min speaking
• Wes (Guest) · 7 min speaking

What is discussed, and when

1. 0:00 – 10:00: Nobody Too, Bob Odenkirk, Bullet Train, Fortnite
2. 10:00 – 20:00: Dave Smith, Marco Polo, Amsterdam, Holland
3. 20:00 – 30:00: Toby Maguire, David Blaine
4. 30:00 – 40:00: Little Caesars, Notre Dame Stadium
5. 50:00 – 1:00:00: Mario (Sherry Coleman's brother)
6. 1:00:00 – 1:07:30: Dave Smith

Notable quotes from "Ep 571 - Daddy's Dots"

• They are little kids there. I saw a thing online where a guy was talking to a kid in a game and he goes, Yo, man. like you won some like Fortnite skin. Let me talk to your mom. I'm going to like get all the.

  about Fortnite · at 0:47

• Yeah, that was like the cheat in Madden where people would stop with and you'd run stop. It was like impossible to get the person.

  about Madden · at 3:35

• This episode is brought to you by Universal Pictures Nobody Too. A couple years a couple years ago, Bob Odenkirk showed up out of nowhere as an action star in Nobody. Now he's back in the sequel Nobody Too.

  about Nobody Too · at 8:39

• Was Marco Polo like I don't even 15 1500s. Yeah. Marco Polo went over there with his boys and apparently they were just like maybe earlier do your thing.

  about Marco Polo · at 14:30

• Yeah, dude. I was Speaking of the political debates, I watched Dave Smith's recent debate with this guy from the New York Times.

  about Dave Smith · at 18:33

• Oh, dude. It was Toby. He claims he sucked Toby Magguire's dig. Oh, he claims he sug.

  about Toby Maguire · at 24:09

• August 15th, Little Caesars in Detroit. 16th, Grand Rapids. 23rd, Milwaukee.

  about Little Caesars · at 32:32

• Arnold Lou Frigno. Ronnie Coleman. Was Ronnie Coleman the black dude?

  about Mario (Sherry Coleman's brother) · at 51:50

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

• Dave Smith — Person · Referenced debater / political commentator · 4 mentions · first at 18:36
  Discussed at length for a recent debate (described as a bullying, comedic blowout) with an ex–New York Times figure; used as a springboard for talking about online political discourse and insults.
• Bob Odenkirk — Person · Referenced actor (ad-read subject) · 1 mention · first at 8:45
  Mentioned in an ad read for the film 'Nobody 2' as the returning action-star lead, framing the sponsor segment.
  Years a couple years ago, Bob Odenkirk showed up out of nowhere as an action star in Nobody. Now he's back in the sequel Nobody Too.
• Toby Maguire — Person · Referenced actor (celebrity allegation target) · 2 mentions · first at 24:09
  Brought up in a rumor/allegation story attributed to Milo; also referenced as part of a celebrity ‘posse’ with David Blaine and others.
• Marco Polo — Person · Referenced historical traveler · 1 mention · first at 14:28
  Invoked during a discussion about early European encounters with China/Japan and alleged historical customs; serves as an anchor point for the timeline and credibility of the anecdote.
• David Blaine — Person · Referenced magician / celebrity friend-group member · 1 mention · first at 24:43
  Named as part of a celebrity ‘squad/posse’ (with Toby Maguire and others) in a riff about early-2000s celebrity nightlife and social circles.
  I think it was DiCaprio, Toby. David Blaine and Q-Tip.
• Mario (Sherry Coleman's brother) — Person · Referenced athlete (bodybuilding example) · 1 mention · first at 51:50
  Cited as a counterpoint in a joke about bodybuilding being ‘gay,’ positioning him as an iconic, undeniable exemplar of bodybuilding greatness.

Companies & orgs

• Little Caesars — Company · Mentioned venue · 1 mention · first at 32:32
  Mentioned as a location for an upcoming event.

Products & tech

• John Wick — Product · Mentioned movie · 1 mention · first at 9:07
  Mentioned as part of the production team's previous works.
  Breaks loose. It's a real delight to see a guy like Odin Kirk kick some serious ass. Jesus. Produced by 87 North. The same team behind hits like John Wick, Bullet Train, and…
• Bullet Train — Product · Mentioned movie · 1 mention · first at 9:09
  Mentioned as part of the production team's previous works.
  Breaks loose. It's a real delight to see a guy like Odin Kirk kick some serious ass. Jesus. Produced by 87 North. The same team behind hits like John Wick, Bullet Train, and…

Concepts & topics

• Fortnite — Concept · Mentioned game · 1 mention · first at 0:54
  Mentioned in the context of online gaming and community behavior.
• Madden — Concept · Mentioned game · 1 mention · first at 3:36
  Mentioned in the context of gaming strategies and cheats.

Places & events

• Notre Dame Stadium — Place · Mentioned venue · 1 mention · first at 32:42
  Mentioned as a location for an upcoming event.
  September 6th, Notre Dame Stadium.
• Pennsylvania — Place · Mentioned location · 1 mention · first at 6:50
  Mentioned in the context of infrastructure and taxes.
  Yeah. If I was a P Pennsylvania taxpayer, I'd be happy as hell.
• Amsterdam — Place · Mentioned location · 1 mention · first at 12:00
  Mentioned in the context of historical Dutch trade.
  Yeah. They were [ __ ] But then they got back to Amsterdam were like yo brother chilling man.
• Holland — Place · Mentioned location · 1 mention · first at 12:10
  Mentioned in the context of historical Dutch trade.
  Didn't they have the Dutch trading Holland? Yeah, it was the Dutch East Indies.

Sponsors

• Nobody Too — Product · Sponsor · 2 mentions · first at 8:41
  Promoted as a sequel to the movie 'Nobody', featuring Bob Odenkirk.

Full transcript with timestamps

0:00 Wow. Wow. Wes. Hey, what's up, guys? How are you? You saw what I was up to. That was awesome.

0:07 New game. Hold fast. Got to give them steel, Eddie. Yeah, that is nice. I like I like the musket reload, man.

0:14 Musket reload's nice. Guys screaming. I like the community. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's a community thing for me.

0:20 They should with the respawn. The community is nice with all the guys going till you get an American server.

0:25 Yeah. Then they're not saying Viv Lef France, they're saying the N word. You got to report them.

0:31 Yeah, they say it so much that it gets to the point where I'm sitting here by myself like, "Come on, guys."

0:35 Yeah, guys, this is I don't like that dog. Like, it's enough that I'm the one that's like offended. I'm like, "God damn, these guys are really actually

0:43 Well, they got to be they got to be You can hear like kids screaming. They are little kids

0:48 there. I saw a thing online where a guy was talking to a kid in a game and he goes, "Yo, man. Um, like you won some like Fortnite skin. Let me talk to your mom. I'm going to like get all the information, put it together.

0:58 Soon as the mom got on there, he goes, "Your son just said the n word to me on the just just lied. Just made it up." And the kid's mom was like, "Are you using bad language?"

1:07 Damn. That could have got any of us. I like, "No, mom. I wasn't. He's lying." Hello. Mom was like, "Were you using bad? Were you using naughty language again? Please stop." It was pretty much she handled it with like potty mouth energy. Like come on.

1:24 The n word is definitely potty mouth. It's super potty mouth. Yeah, super potty mouth stuff, dude. Yeah, it's

1:29 So, that's what I've been up to. Just Yeah. Just holding holding the line, giving him steel,

1:34 sitting in my house by myself, laying on this couch. That's so [ __ ] sick. Giving him steel.

1:39 So [ __ ] sick. I got I uh the highlight of my week so far has definitely be been I got a um a thing for my bed that keeps it cold all the time. So, I sleep on like a 55°ree. It's Dude, it got so cold last night. I got scared. I was like, "What if I get the motto?"

2:00 It's crazy how scared you get at night. Uh, dude, especially like I got scared all the time at night.

2:04 Yeah, it was crazy. It's pretty embarrassing. I mean, it's literally the witching hour.

2:08 It's spooky. I need La Mer. I need you back. Yeah, I need you back. When's your lease up?

2:14 February. [ __ ] yeah. I need you in the in in the perimeter. Yeah. Guarding. The ring to ring camera is a terrible choice,

2:23 dude. It's It goes off. It goes off at 3 in the morning because of [ __ ] possums and [ __ ]

2:26 Yeah, it'll be there'll be like a box across the street and it's like, yeah, we detected live movement. It's like, dude, those things are so annoying. Are you a part of the Ring community as well?

2:35 Yeah, they were every day somebody on crack is like, why is this helicopter circling every single day?

2:41 No. No. Helicopter. Uh, yesterday the internet went out and I got 40 notifications. I had to turn it off.

2:48 Yeah, it's really annoying. Yeah, we we had one in Philly and I was like I just took it off my phone. I was like I don't whatever. Someone breaks into my house, I'll just won't solve

2:55 scratch them with steel. I'll give them steel. True. I might bayonet somebody. That would be Yeah. I mean you you really can. What states didn't It's California. I think I think California passed it where you can't shoot somebody in your house which is kind of that's the whole point of buying a house.

3:10 Yeah. Yeah. The whole point is hopefully you can shoot someone. Yeah. Like we're [ __ ] You you're the lease you're the lease holder right now. You could kill all of us and be like, "Guys, I told him to get out."

3:19 Told him they didn't. I'd probably bayonet all all of you. Yeah, true. No, I would jump three times.

3:27 If you jump, I can't bayonet. All you have to do is stand still. You have to move slightly and I cannot bayonet.

3:33 That's kind of the move in that game. Just stand still and just move a little bit.

3:35 Yeah, that was like the cheat in Madden where people would stop with and you'd run run stop. It was like impossible to get the person.

3:43 Those were the days. Yeah, that was awesome. cousin be Mike Vic and you're like you're a [ __ ] piece of [ __ ]

3:48 The energy in here is Yeah. What the hell's going on? Boys are just Is something happening in the news or something that you guys are all

3:55 there? We did a screen time check. I think we got six hours. Sean wouldn't disclose. Nate got seven.

4:02 Seven's seven's a little high. Seven's bad. What? What were you rocking with? I don't know. I've never checked mine before too when I heard you guys talking and All right, I'm good. Kept I can I can feel superior to you. What was you What were you rocking with?

4:16 Uh I did hit an eight last week. That's a rough one, but typically pretty low. It's not bad.

4:22 Not bad. I thought I was higher. I'm Speaking of screen time, let's add to it. What's going on?

4:25 I'm at 235 right now. Check my text real quick. 2 hours 35 minutes. Yeah, I got I've been trying to like even watching movies, I have to throw my phone.

4:36 Oh yeah, cuz I'll just keep picking it up the second the movie. I go, let's look at uh

4:42 Yeah. I I one time the first time I've ever seen somebody do something like that I was in somebody's unfortunately I was in a man's bedroom but I wasn't having sex and I was I was selling him marijuana but I was in a man's bedroom and uh

4:54 he was doing TV stereo had TV on was playing music and just hitting the phone all at once. I remember being this was like years ago I remember being like what the [ __ ] was terrible

5:04 it was crazy just get you're just getting rocking that just firing everything up and just being like I don't want to think at all. I remember being struck by that. But yeah, the movie I do the phone while my kids watch TV and I even even during that I feel just like a [ __ ] lump. They're w they're just staring at a screen and I'm like

5:23 dipping out on the couch next to them like Yeah. Anytime they look at my screen I'm like, "Yo, don't look at that.

5:28 Don't look at that. It's [ __ ] up. It's Yeah. You'll actually find that very offensive.

5:32 No matter what I'm looking at. Yeah. It's either going to be a girl or it's going to be a terrorist attack. I watched a guy a bridge collapse yesterday in Ukraine.

5:42 Oh no. Terrifying. Just a guy on it. One guy. He was like welding. Yeah. Pretty terrible.

5:50 He hit the one part that the entire thing collapsed and it was like, "Holy fuck." It was terrifying,

5:56 dude. Yeah. Yeah. That [ __ ] sucks. I'd like to think I' i've ran the drill mentally of like getting out of the car, the bridge collapses, you like pop the thing, swim out, but I feel like you sink really fast.

6:10 What do you mean? If you're in a car, first of all, the impact of falling off the bridge in your car and hitting the water has got to be a rough impact.

6:15 If your car Yeah. If you're in your car, it'll be tough. You're done. I think you're done.

6:20 Yeah. I don't bridge collapse, you're you're dead just from debris alone. Debris is going to land on you. You're going to Yeah. Yeah.

6:25 Or it depends how high the bridge is. You're probably just going to die. What type of bridge are we talking?

6:31 We'll go like We're talking crossing the mighty Susuana. Susana alone would [ __ ] carry you, bro.

6:36 Susanna is a little shallow. Is it really? It's a shallow river. I mean, I'm sure there's deep parts, but yeah, you'd hit some rocks. That'd be a negative negative time.

6:44 Then you got to swim out of like a But that's a new bridge. The turnpike's putting together some great bridges.

6:48 Yeah. Yeah. Come on. Tax not going anywhere. Yeah. If I was a P Pennsylvania taxpayer, I'd be happy as hell.

6:53 I'd be happy as hell with the the bridges. The infrastructure potholes. Not a great,

6:58 but yeah, I love love the term. What's going on with this country's infrastructure? Are we going to build some [ __ ] roads or what?

7:03 I feel like they're building roads every single place I've ever been, dude. It's nontop.

7:07 And they're not done. No, they'll never be done. They're [ __ ] They're lit. They're everywhere.

7:13 Yeah, they're shutting down like the highway near my house for should have been a boon.

7:19 Yo, you know where the [ __ ] were the roads? A boon. Yeah, a boon. It's a should have been a boon. Yeah, we should have came back.

7:26 You listen closely that I I uh I hedged my bet there a little because I wasn't sure if it was a boomer. So I was like boom.

7:37 Yeah, they should have been the infrastructure boom. It really should have been, man.

7:40 Yeah. Let's get Let's get uh I don't know if they did that. Did they do that when everybody was chilling?

7:44 No. Everyone Nobody was afraid. They fired everybody. They fired everybody. No one People had no choice other than to [ __ ]

7:51 pop their lives or pop their life. Yeah. Yeah, you get unemployed long enough, dude. After like 3 days, you start getting the itchy. I want to [ __ ]

7:58 You go. I've been hanging out there way too long. Let's uh let's break down this one, too.

8:03 That is a sad fact about humanity that if you like lose your job, it's just a matter of time.

8:08 Yep. You're going to [ __ ] just Yeah, cuz you're embarrassed. You're you're ashamed.

8:14 Yeah. She starts going, "You're pathetic." Oh my god. You say that before the fight.

8:20 Yeah, that would. Wait till me after the the bell rings, you Yeah, true. That's the

8:24 It's a [ __ ] Khabib. Now we talk. We talk now. I mean, they're just hyping up the fight. That's

8:32 They're trying to sell some tickets. That's the pre-fight. That's the pre-fight match.

8:34 They're going to hit the McGregor. They're going to go, "It's just business, man." You're going to go, "No, now we talk."

8:39 This episode is brought to you by Universal Pictures Nobody Too. A couple years a couple years ago, Bob Odenkirk showed up out of nowhere as an action star in Nobody. Now he's back in the sequel Nobody Too.

8:53 Nice. Holy cow. This time Hutch tries to go on vacation with his family and all hell breaks loose. It's a real delight to see a guy like Odin Kirk kick some serious ass. Jesus. Produced by 87 North. The same team behind hits like John Wick, Bullet Train, and The Fall Guy. Uh don't miss Universal Pictures. Nobody Too only in theaters August 15th.

9:16 Nice. You ever seen Nobody? No. It's really good. I got to check it out. You'd like it. It's a fun

9:21 It's a fun little flick. I got to check it out for sure. We got to check it out.

9:27 Yeah. I uh I don't know. I wonder if those Dagistanisians ever put hands on their women.

9:31 Yes. Yes. They probably don't strike. They probably just go straight to the ground, dude. Boring ass woman. It goes five rounds. They just wear them out.

9:40 Their neighbors are like, "Oh, come on, man. This is boring. Stand up. It's just boring, man.

9:45 Standing bang." Yeah. I bet those Dagistanisians just wrestled the [ __ ] out of their women.

9:52 Yeah. I just feel like Yeah. You can just tell. Well, those guys Yeah, dude. They got

9:58 I don't I don't think they hit the face. That face. I think you think they're going like, "Babe, I see where you're coming from. Let me

10:04 I think they're women." No. Yeah, that guy's He's going to get you. Do they have like music?

10:12 Oh, yeah. True. Their faces are covered. Are the Dagistani babes faces covered? I don't think

10:18 they're pretty devout Muslims, so I I assumed they would be. Uh, yeah, good point.

10:24 But the eyes you could I need to see that mouth, man. Yeah. You can catch a little condescending glance.

10:28 That's what I'm saying. Or you just see that [ __ ] you know, shredder flap just moving. You know they're talking [ __ ] and you're like, "What did you say?"

10:34 Yeah. What did you say? Now we talk. Nothing. Smash you. Smash. Dude, I read something recently. I I'll be honest. I was trying to figure out if there was a historical record of Europeans first encountering Chinese and Japanese people. Like what was their general impression if they've never seen them before? Like my my honest question was like, is there historical records of them being like, "Dude, it was polo. You can get some

11:01 Yeah, dude. Yeah, they talked about polo. Yeah, you can get some uh especially the Jesuits going to like Japan.

11:07 Yeah, dude. The Japanese were [ __ ] wild. Rocking those dudes. Yeah, they were just they Yeah, they were they were like but they apparently they were super the uh the Japanese were like super curious especially about religious stuff and that's what kind of got them

11:22 cuz they would like [ __ ] people up but the missionaries came through. The missionaries came through and got tortured for like 400 years.

11:27 They got bucked for sure. And then eventually I think it was the Dutch that started being able to trade. They were because it was a no one was allowed to trade there.

11:35 Yeah. And then the Dutch started being like come on guys. Yeah. Come on. Come on. Let us let us have let us have one port.

11:41 We're kill the Dutch. Why do they get away from like cuz every other European country it's I mean it's obviously well documented they were bad boys but like

11:47 the Dutch were real bad mouth. They were bad. They were going crazy. They got India, Japan.

11:52 Yeah. Yeah. They got Everyone always talks about Britain. You don't you don't really hear about like the Dutch Deutsches.

11:58 The Dutch went wild. Yeah. They were [ __ ] But then they got back to Amsterdam were like yo brother chilling man.

12:04 Chilling man. What was their [ __ ] the provin [ __ ] I forget what they were called.

12:08 Didn't they have the Dutch trading Holland? Yeah, it was the Dutch East Indies.

12:12 Dang. Dutch. They came out with those. Yeah, they came out with those blunts and just cashed in.

12:18 Dutch master. Yeah. Like, yo, why am I forgetting their name? The name of the country.

12:25 It wasn't Holland or Netherlands. It was a pro province. Some [ __ ] I don't know. Oh, they had like a Prussia precountry kind of thing.

12:39 Yeah. What the fire? I I didn't even know that to be honest. Yeah, they were going wild,

12:42 huh? That's one of them. But uh whatever. I'm sorry. It's okay. Don't be sorry, bud.

12:49 OG Dutch. There's nothing we can do about it. I'm just going off of Nope. But that's okay. We'll figure it out sometime.

12:57 You know what's crazy? So, I was I was reading. So, I did grock that question. I I did want to see if European dudes just like went to China and just at first were like just a little just a little bit just like cuz I was trying to I'm like it is funny. Like I'm not even being mean. It's like

13:10 it's funny the first time to never hear like a hardcore like straight from Chinese or straight from China Chinese guy talk. If you've never seen that before, I was wondering like is it inherently funny or you know am I a jerk? Because I would making the argument like it is kind of inherently funny.

13:27 Yeah, it just is. Like it it makes me laugh. That's fair. Yeah. Just seeing like an old Asian dude like move around or like yell, it's it's funny.

13:34 I think they were doing I don't know. I don't know how funny it would be because I think they were doing their own thing. The thing that makes it funny is when they're acting western.

13:41 Yeah, I guess you're right. Kind of doing it wrong. Yes, that I think you're 100% right.

13:46 You're wearing a business suit to like jog. Like you're just slightly off. There's something funny about it.

13:53 That's exactly what it is. Yeah, cuz they were It was They were just purely impressed. They were like, "Yo, these dudes are [ __ ] legit." They went over there and they're like, "The weird thing though." So the Chinese apparently were like, "If you visited, they were like super hospitable." Japanese weren't very hospitable, I guess, at first. Chinese were super hospitable. And they would even be like, "Yo, if my if my wife thinks you're hot, you can [ __ ] my wife, but I got to run. I got to make sure she's cool with it."

14:16 So if you like were a house guest, they'd be like, "Yo, you can [ __ ] my wife.

14:20 Just I got to make sure she's down with it." China might not be assho. China's not assho, dude. China. I think we're getting propaganda. China is not as

14:28 weird, dude. That is And it's like when was Marco Polo like I don't even 15 1500s. Yeah. Marco Polo went over there with his boys and apparently they were just like

14:38 maybe earlier do your thing. 13. Yeah. Yeah. We That was Mongarians. Yes. It was apparently it was a Mongolian custom that the Chinese had adopted.

14:50 Mongolians are freaking Mongolians are freaky. Even the last guys you want to see, dude. Freaky ass boy.

14:56 Which is funny. That was like that was an accepted custom at the time. Like, oh, dude. Yeah. Here's some here's some food. And also

15:01 also, you want a little [ __ ] Yeah. Hey, if you're horny, also you got some [ __ ] here.

15:06 It'd be rude of me not to have you empty the sack. It's just crazy. I want you to be able to sleep comfortably.

15:12 You can't go to sleep with a full sack. Come on, man. Plow my wife. Plow my wife, please.

15:19 Plow my wife. Plow my wife. Hey. Yeah, that was [ __ ] wild, man. Cuz I was like, what if like, you know, cuz obviously the Europeans did kind of dominate culture pretty hard, but it's like, man, if if it went the other way, what if China dominated us and we all had to cuck out just to be, you know, nice to be nice. I don't say cuck, you know, I say it more in like an ultimate host kind of way.

15:42 Superhost Airbnb. Super. Superhost. 4.2 stars. Wife's [ __ ] was kind of trashy. Back p back patio was kind of cool though.

15:54 Walls were thin as hell. Made out of [ __ ] paper. Yeah. Fell through the wall in the middle of the night.

16:00 Yeah. That's just walked right through it. Hammered Kool-Aided into their [ __ ] bedroom.

16:06 Yeah. They were thin walls. So you'd be like, "All right, thanks." And you would plow the dude's wife behind a piece of construction paper.

16:11 That's why they're quiet. That's why they're so quiet. They're just generations of like, "Hey, man. [ __ ]

16:18 [ __ ] that guy." Yeah, true. [ __ ] that guy, man. That is so that is just like for real. I was like reading that. I'm like that is so nice to be like, "Yo, man, you you got How long was your How long was your a bunch of guy? You're on a boat with a bunch of guys for 6 months. Dude, come on.

16:35 It's time. Play my wife." But then it'd be crazy if you'd be like, "Let me check." And your wife's like, "I'm not playing on that, dude." You'd have to come out to you and be like,

16:41 "Bro, my wife's not really feeling you, dude. Bad news. She's tired again. I got bad news.

16:46 Her stomach's upset." But I think back I I feel like in uh and this is just from reading Shogun. This is I'm jumping to Japan now. I feel like being a prostitute back then was like somewhat respected. It was like a world. It was called the willow world. It was like it were like you were just totally dedicated to like pleasures and it was like a it was like a a wh house was like a magical place. You'd be like it's time for me to go over there.

17:08 Yeah. They always write like that. Yeah. I've seen a lot of those things where it's like oh the brothel. What a glorious It's like that must have been a [ __ ] [ __ ] hole.

17:16 Oh yeah. Well, must have been disgusting. No, they were clean. They were super super clean, dude. They It was funny. Apparent according to eur European standards, they're like, "Dude, they're taking like five baths."

17:24 European standards were they were so bad. Crazy. They were like, the Chinese take like six baths a month. Six baths a month. These guys are the cleanest guys we know.

17:31 Who was it? There was like a king that took like three baths in a year. And everyone in England was like, "This [ __ ] [ __ ] He thinks he's better than us." He took like three.

17:40 He was so metro. He was metro. They probably killed him. They're like, "Oh, my [ __ ] I've been battling for America on the uh hold fast.

17:51 Really? The British don't like us. What the [ __ ] On video games, everybody hates everybody. So, everyone just

17:57 Fair. We get some USA chance going with all the other Americans. It's very funny.

18:00 So, what's what's the war? The thing they're getting us on now is Epstein. And that hurts, dude. Getting called. They're like,

18:07 "Oh, what about your whole country's pedophiles?" I know. I was tossing some of them, man.

18:10 What about Prince Andrew, bro? Said Prince Andrew. Was it Bat Mount Batten? Who's that guy?

18:15 Isn't that the guy's name? The IRA blew him up and I think he's a pedophile. Their their country is literally run by pedophiles, dude. Look into the royal family.

18:24 Yeah, but when you're screaming into a headset. Yeah. You don't Nobody's taking time to [ __ ]

18:28 Hold on, guys. Hold on, guys. Yeah, this is you're I feel like you're maligning my country right now.

18:33 Yeah, dude. I was Speaking of uh the political debates, I watched Dave Smith's recent debate with this guy from the New York Times.

18:40 How'd it go? It's the funniest I It's might be the funniest video I've ever seen in my life.

18:45 New York Times is probably not ready for It's an ex New York Times guy and it's like

18:50 he comes off right off the bat. He comes out hot. He's like, "Yeah, dude." He calls Dave Smith a Holocaust denier. Dave Smith actually he actually denies that he denies the Holocaust. So he's a Holocaust denier denier.

19:01 Nice. So he comes out and he's like, "When did I say that?" And he brought up a clip from 10 years ago of him with with Doesn't look great. Richard Spencer uh 10 years ago and Dave is talking to him and he jokingly he does a joke. He obviously says it like you know the fun way being like well that didn't happen as a joke

19:20 people make that joke. It's funny. It's a funny joke. It's a funny joke. What the [ __ ]

19:24 When you're with your friends. It's got to run its course though. Yeah. You can't now people Yeah. People are really hitting that joke.

19:30 Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you can you can get a nice little uh tell anyone I I hear a lot of people ask me like you know what what can I do for my podcast it's like honestly if you want to get numbers quick look into some alternative history

19:43 some alternative history going next time a host asked me in a comedy club like yo like you have any advice be like bro

19:49 look into it dude look look into liar look into wooden doors base your personality around that

19:56 all right buy a [ __ ] ton of Bitcoin cuz they're going to take your account away but then But yeah, he he was just like Dave got he bullied him like very it was it was hard to watch cuz he just bullied this man so hard and then it devolved to the point where they started calling each other names like like they're going to fight. It was so [ __ ] funny.

20:20 Bailing New York Times was mad. Bailing New York Times hit him with the libs love this. They go you're a little man. And they hit him with little man and then Dave hit him with an alt-right attack which is you're

20:30 wow wow west damn they really went for it. They went nuts. It is funny. The libs over the libs love hitting that.

20:39 You're a little man small dick and you're [ __ ] gay. You're like hold on a second. Isn't that what the [ __ ]

20:45 everything you don't you know? I know they do. They Yeah. They love nothing more than talking about closeted Republicans. Gay Republicans. They're like, "You guys are all gay and you want to suck our [ __ ] dicks."

20:56 Those closet Republicans are Yeah, they're hilarious. They're great. Yeah, we got to let them be. Yeah, we got to let them be gay.

21:03 Let the boys be gay. They can't They got to be like fake Christians. I know. It's like, bro, just suck the dick. You love it.

21:09 Suck a dick. All also, they're more powerful. Once Republicans are like, "Yeah, I'm sucking dick." Now the left goes, "Ah, [ __ ]

21:17 Fuck." Cuz then you can make all the points. You can go, "Bro, yeah, we need to go to war." If you're a political science major, the first thing you should do if you're a Republican political science major, you should be in college sucking as many dicks as possible.

21:29 Yeah. So you can wipe the floor with people in the on the monk debates. I was genuinely talking to my agent yesterday and I was like, "Dude, I think I might just turn gay."

21:38 Yes. I was like, "Once these tickets start drying up, I'm [ __ ] hitting the switch. We're going to be [ __ ] rich.

21:47 I'm gay as hell now. You can come back, too." Like little Nazx, I think, came back. He got the gay bag and came back and was like, "No, I can't."

21:53 He's not gay now. I don't think he's gay though. There's no coming back from that, dude.

21:57 No, he had a baby. Yeah, he sucked the devil's dick. Then he had a baby. He had a baby.

22:00 Yeah, he had a baby like a couple maybe like last year little like the little sparkly troll that's like, "Hold me, daddy."

22:09 Wait, that's a trolls deep cut. Yeah. All my friends with kids just have the sickest kids movie.

22:17 Can you look up Can you look up The Glitter Troll, Sean? I was looking. He's It says he does not have a baby.

22:25 That's lies. I've seen it on Twitter. Oh, well that's not true. Oh, well, maybe we'll, you know, maybe get a clear answer on that. Sean saying,

22:35 "Okay, maybe." Oh, he was pregnant. Wait, little N's actually pregnant. It was a picture of him pregnant on the cover of his album.

22:45 And that was what made you think he had a kid? I Yeah. Little Naz. Wait. [ __ ] man. La Mer, the reputation of this podcast hangs upon the information you provide us.

22:56 Yeah, you guys are supposed to give us good info. But if you're saying Little Nas X was pregnant, I believe you.

23:01 Yeah, the devil works in mysterious ways. Gave the devil head and got pregnant.

23:08 Yeah, but I feel like he walked it back and is it was saying like he likes girls, too. Maybe.

23:12 Uh, I'm going to I'm I swear to I remember this. Or maybe I was just hoping He does have some great songs.

23:21 He's Yeah. Little guy songs. [ __ ] rules. Hitting dude. Bisexual. He's bisexual now.

23:27 Yeah. Well, you're clearly gay. Yeah. I wonder, man. I don't Yeah, I guess he Yeah, I guess he's he came across gay as can be. I'm surprised he's like

23:38 Didn't uh what's his name do that, too? Who's the gay uh British guy? Blonde hair, politician, uh political guy. Milo.

23:48 Milo. Milo. Yes, I think he did that as well. Milo had some wild accusations. He was saying he sugged somebody of highprofile. Someone of highrofile said something. He goes, "Yeah, that's why. Remember I sugged you?"

23:59 Damn. It was an actor actually. Now I remember it was it was like a very high ranking actor guy.

24:03 Wasn't he was trying to talk [ __ ] on my own. I gave you head. Yeah. Basically

24:08 trying to ruin his life. Oh, dude. It was Toby. He claims he sucked Toby Magguire's dig. Oh,

24:13 he claims he sug. Yeah, he claim Toby was saying something and Milo I think came out of nowhere. I was like, "That's why I suggest that's why I sugged your dick, motherfucker." And it was like, "Take money."

24:25 It's a good comeback. That's tough, man. I mean, yeah. What a [ __ ] Hey, I don't know. I I'm not saying I believe it. I don't know what happened, but

24:35 allegedly that hurts, bro. I feel like Toby's [ __ ] getting felt. He was in the [ __ ] He was in the [ __ ] posi.

24:42 Although, like I said, David Blaine, Q-Tip, was it DiCaprio and Toby? It was another hunk. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe DiCaprio.

24:50 I think it was DiCaprio, Toby. David Blaine and Q-Tip. They were the [ __ ] Squad.

24:55 They called themselves the [ __ ] Posi. What? They would go out and get [ __ ] Damn. They were doing They were like

25:01 probably so cool in the 90s, early 2000s to be like, "Yo, we're the [ __ ] Posi."

25:05 [ __ ] Posi. So, Although, here's the thing. It's like Yeah. Leo. Yeah. They're big time celebrities. So it's like they're clearly getting [ __ ]

25:11 Yeah. The fact that you're setting up the posi is like And you got a magician in the squad.

25:16 That's tough. It's [ __ ] time. Yeah. He's going to Yeah. He's going to confuse the hose. He's going to hit him with a spell of confusion.

25:23 I still get I still get mystery videos on remember Mystery from the Pickup Artist on VH1.

25:28 He's still doing like seminars and [ __ ] We should get him on the pod. He's nice.

25:32 Yeah, that'd be nice. Talks about like breaking into sets. Remember a set is just like a group of girls.

25:37 A group of girls. Yeah. Like how would you if you if you saw a set, how would you approach the set?

25:42 I don't know. That's I I don't approach the set. You wouldn't approach the set.

25:45 I I you hold frame the set. I hold the frame. Yes. Mystery would agree with that.

25:49 Oh, nice. Yeah. It's you definitely you don't What he was saying is you don't go up and say, "Excuse me."

25:55 Clear flashbang. Probably breach the door. Quick flashbang. Grab one of them. Zip ties.

26:04 If that's your frame, I'm not going to hit your frame. That's your frame. That's a strong five of us could easily do that, dude. I'd need you guys to stack the stack the door twos on each side.

26:12 Mhm. Maybe a battering ram. Yeah, we should bring a ram to the club. Yeah, just in case they want to just in case they want to lock a door.

26:18 Kick the door. Have the party ball. Just in case they lock the preach that. Yeah,

26:24 I'll come in the back with the party ball and just [ __ ] hit them in the mouth.

26:29 Remember party balls? Dude, they were the sick. I remember going to like my brother's college party like we have a party ball and I'm like yo

26:36 dude that's so much worse than a keg but for some reason so cool like it's like two cases of beer in a tiny little ball. They were [ __ ] sick though.

26:43 They were sick. Yeah. He said you should never if if you're approaching a set you want to break into the set. You never lead with like hey excuse me I'm sorry. Why are you excusing yourself

26:54 and what are you sorry for? You never you just you walk up and you say I'm here to talk to you now. I got like I I I I'm not denying the guy.

27:03 These are all just you just have to be autistic. Yeah, I'm here. I'm not sorry about anything. I'd like to talk to you.

27:10 Yes, you have to call. [ __ ] crazy. Or but you can't be wanting. I'd give him steal if he came over.

27:15 You I'd fix the bayonet. If I saw a guy do that, I'd go, "Oh, [ __ ] [ __ ] George."

27:23 Viva France. It's all about not wanting anything. You have to come from a place of abundance and just walk up and be like, "Yo, the energy is just crazy in here." Then just like walk, very mysterious. Walk away.

27:34 Crazy in here. Turn around and be like, "Don't you wish you could hang out with me?" And just like walk away.

27:40 Just go sit stand a couple feet away and go, "All right, it's time to go back in dude."

27:46 You got to go join your four boys dressed like a Pirate of the Caribbean and just wait for the babes to come over.

27:50 They are the pirates, dude. For real. They just wait, dude. He was, dude, he was like the I think he was like the granddaddy of peacocking. That's where it all came from. That's

27:58 where Gerby's got it. Yeah. You just come up and you, you know, you break then you bounce a set to like

28:03 That has to be the most embarrassing phase to have gone through. Yeah. Like Gerby's trying to peacock.

28:08 Yeah. Is the most embarrassing thing I've heard any of our friends do. It's tough.

28:14 Like getting a big belt buckle. That's what he did. He went out and got a like big belt buckle to try to peacock. Did you ever when you were in college or like younger try to play the Do you ever try to play the numbers game?

28:25 What's that? Where you just try to talk to as many women as possible? I've never rejection.

28:29 I've never really uh just cold called the babes. I've cold called the babes. I've never cold called ever.

28:34 I've done it. You get like nine shots and you just start walking up like I probably have and just don't I guarantee you I have and just don't remember. I've just been hammered like should we kiss? Just Yeah, whatever [ __ ] Just I remember like getting waking up just like semil blacked out and having like new numbers and just no idea what these people looked like being like, "Hey, what's going anywhere?"

29:00 Yeah. Yo, that was really fun last night. We should chill because the vibes in here were crazy.

29:04 Vibes are f energy was nuts. I'm coming from a place of texting you from abundance right now.

29:09 I'm not desperate to kiss you. Yeah, that uh that's got to be I feel like for young guys now it's tough.

29:19 Yeah. I I still feel like in terms of making the approach. Oh yeah. Yeah. The the rules have changed.

29:26 The rules have certainly went through a societal shift and you're not allowed to the approach is

29:31 I still terrifying approach at the bar. I think I still think the move is to like and I I've seen people do this out and maybe it's just me, but I feel like you have to look like you're having more fun than you're actually having and try to attract the babes that way by having like the ultimate like high fives. And I I remember doing this like semic-consciously in college being like be like [ __ ] they don't they don't think we're having that much fun right now.

29:56 This episode of Matt and Shane Secret podcast is brought to you by Dude Wipes. Have you left poop streaks in someone else's toilet? Yeah, every time.

30:05 Yeah, every single time. Yeah, I did it all week. [ __ ] disaster. I left a I mean, I literally painted my bowl this morning.

30:11 Yeah, it was crazy. There's nothing wrong with that. No, it was a paint job. Uh, do you ever pack extra underwear when you travel? How much extra do you ever need it?

30:21 Pretty much an extra pair per day. Yeah, I always bring extra underwear. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

30:24 Not cuz I'm [ __ ] [ __ ] my pants constantly. I just used to work. What the [ __ ] you guys getting at here? Do you wipe standing or sitting down? Does it make a difference? What is going on, dude? How horny are these people? What do they want to know?

30:38 There's got to be something about standing up, though. Like, I'm a stand up wiper, honestly. Sitting down, I just smears every I don't know. I can't do it.

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31:16 guys. August 16th. It's coming up. It's next week. It's huge. Yeah, it's huge. Vanal Arena, Grand Rapids, Michigan. August 16th. It's going to be big.

31:27 And then take fly back. to Atlantic City after that. Fly right back to Atlantic City. Ovation Hall Ocean Casino Resort.

31:35 I wouldn't go to that. I would go to Grand Rap. No, that's Oceans is going to be nuts.

31:40 Oceans will be sick. And this is going to be before or after the race after. Oh, nice. You talk You get to talk about the race on the True. That's going to be Yeah, that's going to be a big one.

31:48 I didn't even think about that. Oh, I better the whole time I run, I'm going to try to get a nice five minutes out.

31:53 You get five out of that. You definitely will. It'll be nice. It's all it's it's slated to sell out. It It might not.

31:59 It's going to sell. That'll sell out. It's very clo It's close. It's close. That thing's going to sell out in the fall.

32:03 I hope it will. I think it will. And you know, even if it doesn't, we're all going to have a good time, guys. 8:00 p.m. Atlantic City, New Jersey. August 16th, go to Where? Where' you say you're playing?

32:12 Oh, 8:00 p.m. Van Andal Arena in Grand Rapids Michigan. Yeah. Yeah. It's not as good. I was going to do the Atlantic City Arena, but I was like, you know what?

32:26 You know what? I'm not going to do that to my fans. Whatever. Go to everyone you want. I don't even care.

32:32 Uh, August 15th, Little Caesars in Detroit. 16th, Grand Rapids. 23rd, Milwaukee.

32:39 Oh, Milly. And then se Oh, never mind. September 6th, Notre Dame Stadium. That'll be sick.

32:45 That's going to be a bomb and a half. That's going to be so bad. But I'm just going to be happy to be there. That'll be tight.

32:53 It'll be really uncomfortable. But that's actually Yeah, now that you say that, that's actually amazing to perform at the stadium. You're going to wear pad. You should wear pads, bro.

33:01 I'm gonna I'm gonna be at Notre Dame this weekend or tomorrow. I go to Notre Dame tomorrow.

33:05 Oh, yeah. Yeah. I got to strap the pads on. Line them up. Oh, you should wear them for your set. If you came out in pads, dude, and slowly [ __ ] took them off.

33:13 Took the pads off. Just just wore football pants, sleeve sleeveless under arour. put a locker room bench on stage and just sit on it every now and again.

33:21 Guys, dude, this is what it's all about. The house that Rocky built. Uh, all right. Go see our shows August 16th in

33:30 whatever you want to do. Atlantic City. Check it out. Dude, I went to a bar this weekend. It was might have been the freakiest bar I've ever seen in my life.

33:39 Where was it? Uh, it was in Austin. It was like in East Sixth Street. And I I did that birthday party

33:46 for our friends. 5K in the morning. Second place. Oh man, I forgot about that. Second place. Second place in the morning.

33:51 We had a show on Friday and he was like, "Fuck, I forgot to have this birthday party at 8 a.m. a 5K."

33:58 I like the birthday party. I I liked it. Cuz I'm up anyway at 7 o'clock. I hear you. But who's doing that?

34:04 Why are you doing that? Gear up, bro. Why are you doing that? Going up January. It's going to be chilly.

34:09 We're going to do a 10K. No, 10K. Nice. And I'm going to Well, I had I didn't know the route, so I had to just follow. I was just following the pack. Did you beat the birthday boy?

34:17 I did. Last second. I sprinted ahead of him. You have to. I wanted gold. I You got the gold.

34:26 I thought we were doing a full 3.2 mile. It was It ended up being like a 2.8 2.9. So, I didn't even know where the finish line was.

34:31 I was nothing at 8 a.m. on a Saturday. I would have crushed that. Easy, bro. It was like 8:40 8:40.

34:37 [ __ ] A.M., bro. I wanted gold so bad. You know what's weird? I've been running at the track.

34:42 You guys went to a freaky bar after? Yeah. Well, then it was that was classic running club [ __ ]

34:47 Oh, yeah. Freaky bar, dude. I went to the bar and it was fully ingratiated into the Austin community.

34:52 Not I got to do this was a gentleman's running club then. Freak freak y'all. Little freak off, bro. Dude, this bar the tips the tips were uh it was like 20 25% and then there was 69% you could tip the bartenders. Every time it got me, I'd be like just hit it every time.

35:09 What were what were people wearing during the run? Were the fellas popping the tops off for you?

35:14 No, it was pretty. It was shirts. People were rocking shirts. That's good. I will say it's in defense of running shirtless. It's so much better.

35:20 Did the babes show out? The babes were there at the finish line. Oh, it was just a guys 5K.

35:26 Yeah, the girls ran with the kids. So, the girls did like a one mileer with the kids.

35:29 Yeah, that would have been so embarrassing. I would have gone with the kids. I would have been walking.

35:32 Yeah. Yeah. You could take a shortcut. No one was watching. I would have popped my shirt off and walked with the kids.

35:39 You could have lifted them. We walk with the kids shirtless. You should have shot put it. The kids just [ __ ]

35:46 It was sick. I've been like praying for that scenario to like sprint in front of all the wives and I finally got to do it. But

35:53 yeah, you get to show them show them your power. You're coming from a place of abundance. Athletic abundance.

35:56 Yeah. Just be like, "Bro, just just I just want you guys." You had to probably like fake laugh as loud as you could to show them that you're having a good time while you're sprinting.

36:06 Yeah. I I I was I I wasn't salty, but I was like I wanted to run I feel like I could have got first if you did the three full 3.2. I don't want to like ruin the birthday vibes.

36:14 Say it's your birthday. Why the [ __ ] didn't we go full Just say your birthday's next week and go. It's five miles. Just me versus one guy. Only invite one guy and just do a 40 yard dash.

36:23 I was going to invite everyone's wives and be like, "Oh, [ __ ] I I didn't tell you. I ran a race by myself.

36:29 You should put tickets on sale and get a crowd and don't tell them. This place is packed." This is crazy. That'd be kind of nice. It was fun. It was a uh It was a fun way to start, but yeah, it was We ended up in a freaky ass bar. It was kind of It was a little wild. Very freaky place.

36:46 Yeah. Yeah. It was It was just [ __ ] weird, man. I haven't been out like that in a while.

36:51 Were people crushing Mclobes? What were they crushing? It's a runner's club. Cocktails. Light cocktails.

36:57 Yeah. The bartender gave us like he's like, "I I you know, I'm going to give you some shots." It was just literally like it was just juice with like a little bit. People kept thinking I was buying shots for this hole, but I wasn't. They're like, "Oh, man. I'm gay." I was like, "Dude, someone's giving these to me."

37:09 They thought you were buying a bar. I thought I was in a gay bar the whole time. I was like, I went to the dude. I'm like, "Yo, bro."

37:15 It was a freaky gay bar. I thought it was a cuz one of the You went to a running club and then a freaky ass gay bar.

37:20 I thought it was a gay bar. He was like, "It's not a gay bar. The roids have gone to your head. You're going crazy."

37:25 No, I crazy on the roids. So, I went to this bar. You tell me. So, I I go to a bar. One of the drinks itself was called like the twitchy twink.

37:36 I swear to God for sure. That's what I thought. And then dude, I'm I'm at I'm ordering a drink for me and Britney and a guy goes like, "How's it going?" And I'm like, "Okay, the guy's being I'm in a gay bar." And I told the party I was with, I'm like, "Yo, this is a gay bar." I'm like, "It's not a [ __ ] gay bar." I was like, "A dude just talked to me. This is definitely a [ __ ] gay bar."

37:53 And they're like, "No, it's not a gay bar." But but then someone I was with got kind of pressed by a lady. It was like intense.

37:59 Nice. Yeah. This lady just like walked up to him and just stared at him. And then and I was like I thought I I was like I thought you knew her. And he was like no. I was like what what kind of freaky ass place were we in?

38:09 Yeah. And then she walked back with a dude and locked eyes with him again. I was trying to tell him. I'm like bro you might have to bull out.

38:15 She a single man. No. Hell no. He was a married man. Yeah. Which is sick. Maybe she was Chinese.

38:22 H maybe the her husband was a Chinese. He was like this is a nice bar. Why don't you drain your sack in my wife?

38:31 Drink a couple twitchy twinks. I swear to God, there was It was the freakiest place I've ever been to in my life. I mean, it might just be me. My my sexual vibes are crazy.

38:41 True. You're probably [ __ ] so It's insane, dude. You're probably so I finally finally

38:48 What the [ __ ] is this? All the guys are trying to [ __ ] me. Everyone wants to [ __ ] 69%. Yeah, I was I was getting just hitting the 69% on the little thing. I was like, "Oh [ __ ]

38:58 Damn, she knows." I finally got blessed that night. I got blessed. That's good.

39:02 After the 5K, you got to get blessed. 5K. And I I It was also a drunk wife action.

39:08 Drunk wife action. Drunk wife action, bro. It's the best. Your freaky ass. It's the best. She Yeah, it was nice. So I, you know, I don't want to get graphic, but I am going to I I just want to paint the picture for the benefits, dude, of of you know, my new lifestyle.

39:23 Yeah. My austere lifestyle, bro. I could have went again. Swear to God. I could control.

39:30 I could have ran it back. Why didn't you? I tried. Oh, damn. You got stuffed on the two-point conversion.

39:38 Got stuffed going for two. It would have been a high pregnancy risk though cuz she she was like it was that time. I I mean I caught the I mean it was like the planet's fully

39:51 got turned two on the CP. It was too it was it was ov full ovulation drunk wife which is the best. I was coming off of I claim it was a 14-day retention. My wife's like you're so dramatic. It was maybe like seven. And I'm like, "Bro, it was four [ __ ] I want to I want to start dotting the calendar so I have proof."

40:12 You should cuz I swear to God it was 14 point. Why not? What's holding you back at this point? You should have You should have it in your family's kitchen.

40:19 I That's the calendar I'm talking about. Well, that's absurd. You can't. Just Just a tiny dot. You

40:23 literally can't do that. Just I can't. You can't. Just a tiny dot. You have kids, bro.

40:27 They don't know what it is. Someday they will. Just a tiny Someday they're going to see this episode and go, "That's what those [ __ ] dots were." Ew. Or they'll be

40:36 you're gonna be dead. You're gonna be dead by beed out. You're gonna have a roid rage on the highway. You're gonna [ __ ] jump in front of a car and go stop.

40:47 Yeah, dude. You can't put no come dots on your family calendar. Just daddy's dot.

40:53 Daddy's dots, dude. Just one disgusting one. Just a tiny flick of Dude, if I found out my daddy was putting dots on the calendar. Oh, it's like

41:05 you don't care that I'm being gaslit potentially. I'm being [ __ ] gas lit. Keep the calendar, dude. It's somewhere private.

41:13 I want my wife to see it. Show her. Keep it in your bedroom. No, cuz Yeah, true. No, my own special I should get my own special

41:20 special calendar in the bedroom. Like motorcycle babes and put it on my I might start hanging up like study hard posters in my room

41:30 for sure. just like horny college dorm poster. You should. That'd be awesome. I could start with like a tasteful kind of like artwork of like a new lady

41:39 and then those two girls kissing. You remember that one? That was like a famous It was in every college dorm. It was two hot chicks in bed.

41:46 Oh yes, I know. Yes, I know exactly what you're talking about. It was that was too much.

41:50 I might get some like afroentric erotica and just like put it up like and just be like I think this is cool.

41:55 It's beautiful art. It's beautiful art. and then slowly start stepping it down. Like this is more like pop arts collage I made myself

42:02 with a couple magazines. I made cut them out. Me and the kids sat down and did arts and crafts and cut out babes.

42:09 Start a babe collage. Babe, you know grade school women put like all the hunks on

42:13 collage. You should just put get a [ __ ] hunk collage. A hunk collage would be nuts.

42:16 Hunk collage would be sick. Put yourself in it. Like you and Robert Patson and Timothy Sha.

42:24 Hunk collage is sick, bro. If I make my wife a hunk collage, toss all your boys in it, too. Just get the cool hunks

42:30 and then toss all of us. I'll get the best pictures of all of us, dude. It'll be like And we'll we'll like it'll make Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club, man.

42:38 Just hunks and dude, hitting your wife with like a you know, like a retro like a corkboard hunk collage for her birthday

42:48 and then Yeah, just like a and like I'll get into good shape so I can take like pictures of myself as well.

42:52 I might just go full budoir. do like a one-on-one budoir section and give it to my budoir session and give it to my wife would be nice.

43:00 I' I'd be so happy if I found out you did that. Budwoir. Yeah. I mean, it would it would probably end our relationship. But

43:06 if I did a budwoir photo shoot for my wife, I'd be furious. Why? No, I'm kidding. That would be crazy. That would be so funny.

43:15 Now, if you did it to be funny, yes, that's obviously great. Yeah. Just you in a [ __ ] uh what are those called? Like a what's the thing that tightens your corset?

43:25 Corset but just dick and nuts out. That'd be nice. Yeah, men. They make men's shapewear, by the way.

43:31 I might have to get into that. Yeah, get some men's shapewear. Just like [ __ ] pop the [ __ ] sides in. I'm I'm on a mission now to get shredded by the way.

43:39 Pop the size in. Just get giant knockers. Yeah. Have everything sticking out. Dude, I got I was uh I was confident in my body recently and my my youngest daughter came up to me. you made a like a Play-Doh ball and she's like, "Your dad is for you." And I was like, "Thanks." She's like, "Yeah, it's fat like you are." And I was like, "All right." I had it just be like, "All right."

43:58 Should have [ __ ] hit her. Well, I was like, "Yeah." I ran said, "Now we now we talk."

44:01 Yeah, true. You should have shot the legs immediately. I was like, "Well, actually, I'm doing more performance-based goals. I don't care about aesthetics right now." And then I was like I was shirtless in front of a mirror. I was telling it to Britney and she like laughed and smacked my ass. And it like, dude, it my ass shook,

44:17 my side shook, and then my belly, it all like went all the way up to the top. And I was like, I need to lose [ __ ] 10 pounds. This is [ __ ]

44:23 That's crazy. She hit a chain reaction jiggle. Then she commented on it. She goes, "Oh my god, man. It got it moving." I was like, "All right, just being [ __ ] devastated." This

44:31 girl You're in girl world. I I was raised in the darkness. I was born in the darkness.

44:37 You got to just plow through it, dude. You got to go. I don't give a [ __ ] [ __ ] you.

44:40 That's what I'm saying, man. [ __ ] you, lady. Yeah, let's race, dude. Let's [ __ ] I'll race my whole family. smashing fist fight right now.

44:45 I'm definitely doing the dots on the calendar now that I think about it. Yeah, true. I didn't know the kids were talking [ __ ] too. Yeah, it's dot time.

44:50 Dots. Yeah. Yeah. Daddy's dots. I'll have my Can you put a dot on there for daddy real quick?

44:56 Oh my god, dude. All I'm saying is the last time. That way I can like she like you're being dramatic. I could walk downstairs, take a picture, and say here.

45:06 July 14th. Yes, that was my last chrome. That was my last one. Try to beg for the back. The back toback would have been nice. would have been awesome.

45:13 It was tight. You feel really good about yourself when you hit a when you turn two like that.

45:17 Yeah. Yeah. I I haven't done that in forever now. But here's the thing. I No, there was no guarantee. I could have obviously lost it as soon as I could have lost my helium as soon as I put it in there.

45:28 But sometimes you lose your helium. Honest attempt. Sometimes you go for it. You go.

45:32 Yeah. You got stuffed in the one. Dude, that happens. That's good though. Now you got field position.

45:38 True. Go. Now they're going to play out of the back of the end zone. We got Come on.

45:40 True. But yeah, dude. I'm telling you, it's I I hit the I hit the rocks, man. What What do you got? You guys have an issue?

45:46 No. I'm in a really vulnerable place right now. You guys whispering is not helping me.

45:51 What What were you whispering about? Oh, you guys are busy talking about your show tonight.

45:58 What's going on with your big show? No, I like Why can't we talk about it? Oh, is there something negative happening with

46:06 Every time I check in with you guys, you're like talking [ __ ] on someone. Yeah. Yeah, I had to have a chat with the boys.

46:13 Oh, no. Yeah, we were drinking. Really? I had to go. Fellas, tell the counsel. You guys got to stop with this negativity.

46:21 It's true. Just do it. True. But you know, who am I to judge? I was tell like "Okay gay.

46:29 All right, just edit it out and tell me." Wow. Wow. Wes, that happens. And we're back.

46:33 Yeah, it was it was a slightly gay. Yeah, slightly gay. You guys are obsessive.

46:41 Could have waited till the three of you are fired up. You guys are fighting for your [ __ ] lives down here. Was it Was it like that in Philly?

46:49 No. You guys weren't so aggressive back then. No, I was I was in Philly. Yeah, I remember you in Philly. You turned into a little nasty [ __ ] there.

46:57 I'd get I'd get wind of it. You'd be a helium like I'm the [ __ ] best. I'll bury anybody here.

47:02 I've been very nice down here. Yeah. You can't do that. Well, you guys were you guys were seniors in high school. Now you're college freshman.

47:09 Yeah. Now you're 40-year-old freshman. It's just growing pains, dude. You guys will be all right.

47:18 I can't talk. I've been bombing. I've been chucking up [ __ ] eggs, dude, at open mics.

47:24 It's all part of the process. It is. And that's the that's the hardest part. I'm not good at that.

47:28 I can take, bro. I can I can bomb and just hit the road whistle and just be like, "All right."

47:32 Yeah. I did it. I mean, it didn't feel great last night. I was like, "Yeah, it was it's not the best in the world." Especially when you're like when you like literally just your mind falls apart and you're like, "Yo, yeah, I'm I [ __ ] stink right now." I was like, "They're about to get hit with a real pro." It's about to change the [ __ ] tone of this 12 people in the room and it just instantly come out and be like,

47:51 "I've been depressed for two weeks and uh I don't know, guys. I'm sorry. I don't know why I started like that."

47:56 12 people in the room is a guaranteed It's going to be a bad show. I know it was. It was bad. But still, I wanted the whole frame. I was not coming from a place of abundance.

48:07 I think you bragged about your abundance. Isn't that I did. Yeah. I said I was depressed and I was like, "Yeah, I'm too [ __ ] loaded to be depressed, dude. People are like, I hate you more now." And I was like,

48:15 "Yeah, I'm depressed, but I'm I'm so rich. All right, kill him. Give him still."

48:22 I thought it'd be funny. It is funny. I thought it was funny to me. It's funny.

48:25 I laughed. I was on the bird scooter on the way home. I was like, "That was funny."

48:28 Yeah. [ __ ] them, dude. I was I was on the scooter today. Oh, catching air on Airport Boulevard.

48:34 It was crazy. I got a new ramp. There's a new ramp on Airport Boulevard. Really?

48:40 Yeah. I was on the way to the gym. There's a new ramp. I was catching I was like just praying to God. I'm like, "Please let someone I know see me ramping on Airport Boulevard. It's all I want."

48:50 How How much air do you think you caught? That's a lot. On a on a lime. Not bad. Yeah, it wasn't bad.

48:55 That's a heavy That's a heavy [ __ ] I surprised myself. I I can kind of bunny hop them if I'm being honest, but getting a little ramp like full speed downhill was felt good. Felt good, dude. Also too in the uh I was there's a I've been noticing a new evolution at the gym. So, you know, there are tortoise, right?

49:13 Yeah. I've I've I've It's pretty rare, but I've seen some tortoise are going towards the weights and they're there might be a new form.

49:24 Yeah, it's a Blastoise. When the tortoise the tortoise have been getting jacked and evolving into Blastoises. It's kind of nice.

49:31 I've seen some Blastoise. I know a couple Blastoise. I've followed their Instagram. I've watched them transform into full Blastoise.

49:38 It's [ __ ] nice, man. Yeah. Yeah. It's a good move. I I I've noticed women getting into like bodybuilding.

49:45 Yes. They call it like bikini model. Have you seen that on uh You ever follow an IG lady that changed her life and became a

49:52 I knew someone in real life who did this a while back. They became like a female. It's not like a full bodybuilder.

49:58 [ __ ] shredded, dude. They get shredded. And then they do blackface for the competition like the guys do.

50:04 It's [ __ ] crazy. Yeah, it's pretty wild. They get They get trumped up. I guess when you do blackface like that, it shows your muscles more.

50:10 It does for sure. For real. Yeah. You black body out. Yeah. It shows your muscles more.

50:15 That's all it is. That's why, dude, you guys can't tell. I'm [ __ ] jacked. I know.

50:19 I'm just too pale, dude. those competitions too, like they a lot of those guys get naked for the spray tan.

50:26 For sure. Yeah. So, like the bodybuilding competitions, you you go back and you just bust out dong and a lady just sprays you down.

50:33 It's pretty crazy. That's crazy. The the bodybuilding world is definitely one of the most wild things. Like, it's [ __ ] up.

50:40 It's a wild group of people. It's a wild group of bros. Yeah. But would you I don't know. I feel like I would still like I'd like you just hit my legs. I'm not showing.

50:47 Yeah. just have a pale patch right in my [ __ ] bikini. Just pubes popping out.

50:55 But yeah, the the the female fitness model thing is is kind of weird. Do any bodybuilders not do the tan? It'd be nice to hit it with just full pale.

51:05 You Yeah. No, I think they all hit the spray tan. And I guess if you're like a black bodybuilder, you just oil up big time. Hit the baby oil.

51:12 So I think there's something about you want to get like glistening. You want to get like wet and glistening looking. That's [ __ ] weird.

51:20 You're trying to win the competition. I know. What do they win? Like protein powder. They You win You win for real. Like a trophy and you Yeah. You win like a protein powder might be like we'll sponsor you.

51:31 It is nice to have that trophy. Yeah, that'd be awesome. [ __ ] most jacked dude in the region.

51:35 Yeah, it's [ __ ] sick. Can I say it you guys? I think bodybuilding's gay. Bodybuilding might be the gayest thing you could do.

51:41 Everyone thinks it's gay. Yeah, it's like super gay. I mean, tell that to Lou Frigno, bro.

51:48 [ __ ] Jack dudes. Arnold Lou Frigno. Ronnie Coleman. Was Ronnie Coleman the black dude?

51:53 Yeah. Yeah. Ronnie Coleman really Yeah. Don't make me talk bad about Ronnie Coleman.

51:59 Well, you just called him gay. You called him gay. Well, yeah. Bobby, that's not bad.

52:06 You got I'm telling you, the boys have become nasty little [ __ ] Look at you throwing your boys under the bus. Not me. Nasty [ __ ]

52:16 I'm Zendini. No, you're not Zandini. The Zandini talks crazy. I am. The Zandini talks crazy.

52:24 Especially after my mother left. I am embarrassed. What? You're embarrassed. I feel Italian and then my mother comes around and I just love her so much and it's embarrassed.

52:35 Yeah, that's so crazy. It's the most Italian. You're definitely not Irish. He want to bring his mother to Pope. You bring your mom around, you go, "Oh my god God

52:44 I miss my mother. I love my mommy." Yeah, but I don't want to [ __ ] hang out with her.

52:50 Yeah, I guess we don't I love her, but Yeah, we don't chill. A lot of comments. We don't really have good conversations.

52:56 Yeah. Yeah. I just see I just see in her house. Yeah. That's why I like to talk to my mommy.

53:00 Guard dog was trying to bring her to the [ __ ] bar with us. No, I was just busting your chops.

53:04 I think you were feeling it out a little. I did not. What do you think? He was feeling it out. Yeah.

53:09 Oh, that's not true. It's settled. I wouldn't do that. It settled. You could bring mommy.

53:16 I did have the plumbing issue where I almost had my house was almost filled with girl poop for a moment.

53:21 All the women in his life were dumping his house and clogged his probably saving it for your house. Yeah.

53:27 We went to Terry Blacks and they got They dropped that off all the way from Jersey. They brought that

53:33 They brought that down south. That was an air drop. Yeah. A nice Jersey girl. Nice Jersey [ __ ] dump.

53:40 Nice sub for the [ __ ] Nice jersey sub. Yeah. Hogies. Dang. So they were dumping out in your house big time.

53:47 Oh yeah. Yeah. Remember when my mom collapsed the ceiling. It's the funniest thing in the world.

53:53 My poops. Yeah. I still hold it down. Girl dumps are horrific. Unbelievable how bad they are.

54:01 We had to go somewhere else so they could all defecate. Huh? We had to go someplace else.

54:05 The YMCA to drop drop dumps. We went to the bar so they could poop. You went to the bar to take dumps?

54:12 Yeah, there's one like right around the corner from my house. Dang. Damn. You had to load up the car and go, "All right, everybody, wait till everybody has to [ __ ] and then we'll go."

54:19 Yes, that's exactly what I did. I mean, that's kind of how we do it. Yeah. Get to the bar, you go, "Oh, [ __ ] I forgot the shit."

54:26 Was it a uh Was there two Could they go like side by side or they have to wait?

54:31 Uh there's a few bathrooms, so they all just went at once. No way. Did you say they all went at one? I think like they were all holding it and they all like embarrassingly were like, "We all have to poop like one by one." So, I was like, "All right, we can go someplace."

54:44 Yeah, we can we can hit this. And did you you should have monitored the bathroom and let them know if the smell level is going too bad.

54:50 I didn't do that. All right, guys. Flush it. Come on. Flush it. Oh, but Johnny Rder saves me. Shout out to Johnny Rutder Plumbing.

54:57 Nice. Love you. 247 Plumbing. That's nice. And it's really funny when the family dumps. We used to race after after church.

55:04 Oh god. Yeah. The after church race to the turlet as the whole family. Yeah. Of big dogs just rumbling to the toilet.

55:12 Me and my brothers used to race to the turlet after church, but for different reasons.

55:16 Nefarious reasons to get rid of that dot. There were no dots on the calendar in the Musker house. Dude,

55:24 Vicki secret catalog would come into the house and it would just be tribal warfare the whole time. Dude, where is it? Dude, you [ __ ] Yeah, just first one gets it, it would I mean, this is graphic, but first one get it would [ __ ] glaze it right away. It would just be [ __ ] It would just stop.

55:39 Jesus Christ, dude. That's so [ __ ] up. It was crazy. I could I when I was a little boy, I had to [ __ ] spray the magazine every I couldn't not do it.

55:51 Like when I was a little kid, I was just like I sprayed a Maxim once. Felt real weird about it.

55:56 I [ __ ] loved it. Yeah, I would spray it, wipe it off, and just fold it up and like put it in a drawer and be like, "All right, those pages,

56:01 this is my little secret. Those pages are done." I would just work my way through.

56:06 Yeah, it's kind of tear the page out. It's kind of [ __ ] up. Flush it. You have to destroy it. Yeah.

56:12 Put it right back together. Thing weighs [ __ ] 10 pounds by just men in big white suits would have to come take it away. Dang, dude. Yeah, the race back from church was nice. Yeah.

56:27 Dumping. I told you they used to make me run, right? No. My family, it was a fun game we had. They would make me get out of the car at the the entrance to my neighborhood and race the car home.

56:37 Oh, that's awesome. Yeah. I thought I was fast as [ __ ] I would fall every single time. I would hit a curb every single time.

56:45 They thought it was the funniest. It must have been so funny. That's hilarious.

56:48 See me sprint home from church just in like a You like khakis? Yeah, I was going to say a stripe polo shirt and khakis just falling. It's so funny.

56:56 Oh, it's Were they keeping They were keeping the car kind of like keeping the car exactly my speed and like speeding up. So I be like

57:04 Yeah, it's good [ __ ] That is such a funny thing to do to be like, "Dude, I'll [ __ ] your beard.

57:10 You're faster than the car. This is crazy." Oh, that's awesome. Yeah. Yeah. Weekly tradition.

57:17 As a kid, I I had up until like high school, I had the most outlandish sense of confidence about so many different things.

57:24 Yeah. It slowly just got had to be like, "Oh [ __ ] All right. Never mind. [ __ ] [ __ ] God damn it.

57:29 I'm not fast at all. I'm not fast. [ __ ] I'm not that strong." Being fast was such a flex

57:36 when you were a kid. Yeah. It's funny hyping like especially boys being like, "Damn, bro. You're fast as hell." And they'll instantly be like, "You think so?" And

57:43 yeah. Take off. Yeah. It's so like, "Oh my god dude." Yeah. Now though, it's kind of I think it's embarrassing to be fast.

57:50 What do you mean? Just like a fast guy. Yeah. What are you [ __ ] fast for? I mean,

57:56 no, not not coming at you. Not coming to you. I know you're flying. I want to make sure. I don't know what side of phone this. If I were to do like a 115 400 this morning, like would I be

58:06 If you ran a 115 400, I'm not talking fast like uh I'm not talking distance here. Talk about just a dude that's,

58:13 you know, working in an office and fast as hell. I know. It's crazy. I see him every morning. There's dudes.

58:19 I watched some track uh yesterday. Did you really? I watched some track and field.

58:23 What? Who was wrong? It was a It was the US qualifiers. Uh some [ __ ] high school kid

58:30 got top three. He was 16 years old. He ran like a I forget what it was. Like he ran the 800. It was insane how fast he was.

58:40 Yeah. I saw those handicapped swimmers, man. They were fast as [ __ ] dude. They were Dude, 50 meters doing I think they're doing like 22 seconds. 50 meters and 22 seconds is crazy. They didn't seem too [ __ ] handicapped.

58:52 They were [ __ ] flying, dude. I didn't see any I didn't really see a lot of missing [ __ ] things.

58:58 I s I think their legs were [ __ ] I think they were all arms. There was a couple guys that were all arms. There's one guy without arms.

59:04 What? Dolphins underwater. It's [ __ ] crazy. Yeah, mermaids out the whole way.

59:10 Yo, that's cra I didn't know that. Yeah. Who are you guys looking at? You guys are talking speed and made me think of this guy. He's just he just grabs things real quick.

59:20 Grabs things as fast as he can. Yeah. He's the man. He's the man. Nothing about that.

59:24 Yeah. No, you you see like the serious runners at the track and they're like they're freaks, dude. There I I did the 400. I gave it my all

59:33 and there's a guy who was just doing that pace just non-stop around the track. And I was just like, bro, I don't I don't know how you do that.

59:40 Although he was [ __ ] ripped. I'm fat as hell. So, Matt, come on, man. You've got a perfect bod right now.

59:44 I thought I did. I thought I did. Matt, your bod's [ __ ] rocking, man. I thought my bod was rocking, but it's

59:49 Your bod's rocking, dude. Don't let those little [ __ ] get in your head, dude. They're killing.

59:53 Your daughters get in your head, dude. I was just I was They are learning, dude. They're learning the ways of the woman.

59:58 Oh, they're killing, dude. Crush me. And also, now Chloe, if I drop anything, she goes "Fuck."

1:00:03 That's awesome. Cuz she's heard me say it so many times. I won't even say it. I'll drop something. She goes, "Fuck."

1:00:08 That's awesome. It's so funny. Yeah. When little kids swear. It's It's so Especially when they know like the right context.

1:00:13 Yeah. I have to like I'll be like I'm like, "Dude, no. You're good. Don't you don't have to do that. She'll be like, "Okay,

1:00:18 fuck." Yep. So nice. Anytime I call my sister, she's on speaker phone and the kids are in the car and I never know. So I'm like, "This [ __ ] guy." The kids immediately you hear Anthony like [ __ ] [ __ ] kid like, "Hey, you don't say that."

1:00:32 You hear him laughing. You're like, "Damn." Yeah. The key is to not freak. You be like, "Okay." Or if you go if you like calmly or go,

1:00:38 "Yo, that's a really bad word." They're like, "What? No, I didn't know that. That's serious stuff.

1:00:42 That's a bad word. They're going to get you and they're scared of the police. You had kids who was like, "Yeah, the police should come get you."

1:00:48 I remember I remember the fear of the police. Prank called 911 once from the park and a cop showed up and just ran through a field crying.

1:01:01 Yeah. Britney would be like, "I don't want them to be afraid of the police." I'm like, "Dude, I'm sorry, but I'm definitely going to use this on them every time I have to."

1:01:07 Yeah, that's fine. I'll just call the police officers. And they're like, "No." I told you my found out I had gone I had gotten arrested before. She was talking about like cops getting bad guys and I was just like you know I got arrested once. She was like what?

1:01:20 Yeah. What happened? I was like I was just being bad. Just being a bad guy. She's like it was it was actually really sweet. She was like it's okay. I love you even though you got arrested by the police. I was like thank you man.

1:01:30 That's really nice. She thinks if you get arrest she thinks you're like a monster. She really thinks cops are out there getting like

1:01:38 like you know people from like TV shows who are like trying to like decimate cities.

1:01:42 Yeah. So whenever like someone's pulled over, she's like, "Dad, they got a That guy was trying to blow up Austin

1:01:48 for real. That guy." She's like, "Oh my god, that guy has a nuclear bomb in his car.

1:01:54 They think there's like a real like super villain. I can't judge. I think that I see someone getting pulled over. I'm like, drugs. Drugs in the trunk. There could be a shootout right now." If there's more than one cop car, I'm like, "This is [ __ ] serious."

1:02:06 Apparently, they have to do that. They're like supposed to have someone else when they were like, "We have anything better to do?" It's like they need another guy there apparently.

1:02:14 So, yeah, that happens every time. I think that happened to us in South Carolina. It happens all the time.

1:02:18 Yeah. They pull up. One guy gets you and then another car comes like, "Oh, great fellas. You guys are really [ __ ] bringing out the whole force for this."

1:02:24 That was It was jaywalking, huh? It was nice when the older cops gave the young cop hell when he was like, "Oh, nice. You got some jaywalkers. Nice work guys."

1:02:31 Yeah. Yeah, that was awesome. Yeah, that [ __ ] ruled. Yeah, being a cop was a great night.

1:02:36 I came that was that I remember being just drunk enough to talk [ __ ] to the cops.

1:02:40 Yeah. Oh, dude. I thought for sure I was so stoned. And you you were you weren't even talking [ __ ] You were just laughing at the guy to his face.

1:02:47 Yeah, that was crazy. He'd be like, "You got to do this." And he'd be like, "Bad." I was like, "Come on, please don't let us get arrested.

1:02:54 I don't want to get arrested." That guy, he was He was a [ __ ] dork. He stunk, dude.

1:02:59 Yeah. Young cops are for real the worst. The young gung-ho out of the academy. He like sped up to try to like almost [ __ ] hit us.

1:03:06 Yeah, it was kind of nuts. He's so far away when I was across the street. Yeah. Well, I was moving a little slow. My church days are

1:03:10 No, no, no. I You were ahead of me. I waited. You You ran across and I waited and I saw the cops get you and I was like, I just got to go over there. Maybe I can smooth it out. And he was like,

1:03:22 well, I had a giant bowl in my pocket. I had a [ __ ] like wizard pipe this big in my pocket.

1:03:26 And he was like and I was like I thought I was going to buy I was I was going to buy like honesty points and I was like it was like a 20-year-old cop. I was like uh I just want to be honest here. I do have a pipe on me. It's just a giant very ornate thing. I feel like he gave Did he give it back? I feel like he gave it back.

1:03:43 I think he may have, but I think he gave me That was all the the veteran that showed up and was like, "Dude, what are you doing?"

1:03:49 He definitely didn't smash it. I would have remembered. He was being real serious.

1:03:53 Jaywalking. You're such a [ __ ] about it. Do you have any weed on you? I said, "No sir."

1:03:57 No. Smoked it all. Chief it. Your honor. We chief it. How nice were the nugs? A Yeah dude.

1:04:08 Great trip. Hotel pools. So fun. Yeah, that that was all driving, too. Yeah, it was a good time.

1:04:13 Nothing but driving. That was nice. As a feature, you brought your own support.

1:04:17 Crazy. Brought those. Crazy move. Yeah, they never worked with me again. And then we just heckled the [ __ ] headliner the whole time. It

1:04:28 was a real [ __ ] move. No, that was warranted, man. He was Yeah, he was being a [ __ ] But if I were him, I' I would have I would have been so sad if the feature brought a host and they were mean to me.

1:04:39 I was making fun like two weeks. We stayed in the same place. Yeah. I remember I I do remember at one point I was getting I was getting assy toward the guy and it was Yeah, it was just too hard not to.

1:04:52 Yeah, he was a dork. He was a huge dork. There was blood in the water and we were abusing substances getting drunk and be like [ __ ] dork [ __ ]

1:05:00 Shut the [ __ ] up, dude. just in the com. Shut the [ __ ] up. Yeah, that's Dude, that's the uh that was the Dave Smith debate. It was for real a pure bully. It was a bully sesh.

1:05:12 He just bullied the guy the whole He like laughed in his face, bullied him. The guy was being ridiculous, but just it was like it was rough

1:05:20 just watching it. It was like a pure I mean it was literally like a like a New York Times nerd.

1:05:27 Yeah. Who just couldn't he couldn't have he couldn't come up with like any cool comebacks. Yeah.

1:05:32 And it was just Dave Smith who's been type of guy you really want to punch in the belly

1:05:36 in the Oh yeah, dude. The New York Times guy, especially when he hit finally to go cuz he like at first he was like, "Play the video." They play he plays a video from 10 years ago

1:05:45 gets literally Dave laughs in his face. He's like, "You are a [ __ ] loser." And the guy doubles down and goes, "Play it again." He's like, "Why why would he play again? Just play it again."

1:05:55 And it was it was Dude, it was rough, man. It was so bad. Then eventually he took the bait and he goes, "You're just a little man. A little man from Brooklyn and I'm not afraid of you."

1:06:07 Oh, I'm not afraid of you. I'm not afraid of you. Wow. Dave hit him with tough talk. He hit him with like the tough guy Zoom being like, "Oh, you're pretty tough on Zoom, aren't you?" You're a little man. And Dave stunned him with the MOAB and he goes, you can tell it hit him, too, man.

1:06:22 He for real. It does hit you if somebody genuinely hits you with the the Moab [ __ ] hurts. a Zoom Moab.

1:06:30 Zoom in. Wow. Wow. And you can tell like just sitting back with his [ __ ] wife in bed after

1:06:39 just getting How' the Zoom go? I'll tell you the guy called me a little called him a sc a scared little man. By the way, when you say scared little man, I hate to break it to you. What you're essentially calling somebody is the Moab.

1:06:53 Yeah. They're dancing around it. They dance around the world. You're a scared little man in a pink sweater.

1:06:59 Yeah. Kind of funny. And you kiss guys. You're calling someone gay if you're going. You're a little man.

1:07:06 You're a e affeminite little man. But yeah, that was uh I highly recommend watching that. It's very very

1:07:12 Give it a watch. That sounds great. You should give it a watch in between. It's very [ __ ] funny.

1:07:16 Yeah. Let's switch over. Let's watch it now and then switch to the page. Let do it.

Questions about this episode

Who speaks in "Ep 571 - Daddy's Dots"?

Matt (Guest), Shane (Guest), Wes (Guest).

What is "Ep 571 - Daddy's Dots" about?

The discussion focuses on the gaming community, particularly experiences in a new game called "Hold Fast," highlighting both enjoyable aspects, like camaraderie and gameplay mechanics, as well as negative interactions, including instances of toxic behavior and offensive language in online gaming. The speakers share anecdotes that reflect the challenges of maintaining a positive community…

What is mentioned in this Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast episode?

16 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Dave Smith, Bob Odenkirk, Toby Maguire, Marco Polo, David Blaine, Mario (Sherry Coleman's brother). Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "Ep 571 - Daddy's Dots"?

The episode runs 1 h 8 min; the transcript is about 15,965 words in 535 timestamped sections.

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