Ep 574 - War of the Butt Wipes (feat. James McCann)

What this episode is about

The discussion humorously revolves around unexpected moments related to body exposure, particularly highlighting the blurring of intimate parts in media and its comedic consequences. The conversation contrasts personal body image perceptions with cultural standards, while also referencing Sigourney Weaver's portrayal in "Alien" to explore shifting standards of beauty and self-acceptance.

Key takeaways

• Mistakes were made: The 'fleshy blur' was a PR hit—nothing like accidental nudity to fuel a conversation.
• Sigourney Weaver's lack of sunbathing in 'Alien' shows how beauty standards shift faster than cultural narratives.
• Gaming all night pays in virtual currency, but in real life? Late meetings come at a hefty price.
• Being late due to video games is the new 'dog ate my homework'—only the stakes are Hollywood high.
• The struggle of courting in Medieval Dynasty parallels modern romance—just with fewer dating apps and more basket weaving.

Who speaks in this episode?

• Matt McCusker (Host) · 36 min speaking
• Shane Gillis (Host) · 36 min speaking
• James McCann (Guest) · 14 min speaking
• Sean (Guest) · 7 min speaking

What is discussed, and when

1. 0:00 – 10:00: Medieval Dynasty, Sigourney Weaver, Titanic
2. 10:00 – 20:00: Dude Wipes, Notre Dame Fighting Irish, Chicago, Harrisburg
3. 30:00 – 40:00: BetterHelp, Prize Picks
4. 40:00 – 50:00: Medieval Dynasty, Chicago, Miami
5. 1:00:00 – 1:10:00: Medieval Dynasty

Notable quotes from "Ep 574 - War of the Butt Wipes (feat. James McCann)"

• It was on TV. I was watching Alien last night. Sigourney Weaver just has my ass for no reason.

  about Sigourney Weaver · at 1:08

• Tits and Leprechaun was the first time I got in trouble from my parents.

  about Titanic · at 2:02

• Not because I was out partying that but because I was up till 4:00 a.m. playing Medieval Dynasty.

  about Medieval Dynasty · at 3:04

• This episode of Matt and Shane Secret podcast is brought to you by Dude Wipes.

  about Dude Wipes · at 12:15

• Furl kills it. Honestly, he was great. He was Phil and head coach Marcus Freeman of the Notre Dame Fighting Irish finally on screen together. That's the people have been begging for this.

  about Notre Dame Fighting Irish · at 17:16

• This episode is brought to you by Prize Picks. Matt Chain, what was your favorite part of last football season?

  about Prize Picks · at 34:39

• Millions have benefited from therapy through BetterHelp. It's convenient and based on the millions of glowing reviews and ratings, there's a reason people keep coming back or going back, I should.

  about BetterHelp · at 37:56

• I'm not going to go. I got to go. I'm going to be in Chicago till Sunday. I'm going to fly to PA. I'm going to watch it.

  about Chicago · at 49:32

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

• Sigourney Weaver — Person · Referenced actor (pop-culture comparison) · 2 mentions · first at 1:10
  Used as a humorous point of comparison while the hosts riff about body/ass shots in the film "Alien" and how it resembles one host's pale butt.

Companies & orgs

• Notre Dame Fighting Irish — Company · Referenced expert · 1 mention · first at 17:14
  Mentioned in the context of a commercial and football season discussion.

Products & tech

• Medieval Dynasty — Product · Case study · 8 mentions · first at 1:20
  Discussed as a video game that the host was playing extensively, affecting his schedule.

Places & events

• Chicago — Place · Setting · 2 mentions · first at 17:00
  Mentioned as a location for upcoming events.
• Miami — Place · Setting · 1 mention · first at 49:40
  Mentioned in the context of a football game.
  It's at Miami. Honestly, they don't have a good track record down in Miami.
• Harrisburg — Place · Setting · 1 mention · first at 18:59
  Mentioned as a departure location for a flight.
  You got on the beautiful flight from Harrisburg, Pennsylvania to South Bend, Indiana.
• South Bend — Place · Setting · 1 mention · first at 18:59
  Mentioned as a destination for a flight.
  You got on the beautiful flight from Harrisburg, Pennsylvania to South Bend, Indiana.

Media & podcasts

• Titanic — Media · Referenced work · 1 mention · first at 1:58
  Mentioned in passing during a discussion about movie scenes.

Sponsors

• Dude Wipes — Product · Sponsor · 3 mentions · first at 12:17
  Promoted as a sponsor of the podcast, with a humorous ad read.
• BetterHelp — Product · Sponsor · 3 mentions · first at 36:53
  Promoted as a sponsor of the podcast, focusing on mental health services.
• Prize Picks — Product · Sponsor · 2 mentions · first at 34:39
  Promoted as a sponsor of the podcast, focusing on sports betting.

Full transcript with timestamps

0:00 Wow. Wow. Wes. I'm going to Let's Let's keep an eye on my uh my balls this time. Dude, the blur. The blur made it worse. The blur. So, you did that on purpose. You snake. You could have used a black blur. Black box would have been great. You used fleshy blur. It looked like my I had so many people, my friends, text me like, "Was your dick and nuts really out?" I'm really sorry about that. Sean, you reveled in it. You rea the blur for real. The blur was he was texting me like he was like really sorry. I was like dude I swear to God I don't care.

0:32 What did you What did you catch? Like you catch you caught like you got like [ __ ] cleavage I think I think you got a little bit of butt cheeky. It was like upper thigh fat. That's like a That's a devastating fat. Yeah, it's white. And it was white. Very white. Not seen the sun. I I was getting into the shower recently and my wife was last laughing at my white ass and she goes, "I'm going to take a picture and send it to Shane." I was like, "His ass is the same as mine. I was like, he's just like, yeah, it looks just like my ass. What's so funny?

0:59 How's he gonna picture my ass? I'm like, he's not going to be like, "What the fuck?" No, I found I found my ass last night. It was on TV. I was watching uh Alien last night. Sigourney Weaver just has my ass for no reason. What? Take a look at Sigourney Weaver's ass in Alien. She's got a fullon pale peasants ass, dude. A Medieval Dynasty ass. Sigourney Weaver's ass in the movie is What year was that? I don't know. That's when Tiny Heiny's ruled. She had a She had the tiniest high. Can I see her? She's got a man's ass. She's got a nice pale Irish ass.

1:37 Yo, what the [ __ ] dude? She would die right now if someone saw her ass. I don't think women can survive with an ass like that anymore. I don't know. She looks good in it. Tiny Heinies. They out of nowhere at the end of the movie, Scorny Weaver just gets some Yeah, they were underwear and tits out basically. What? It's pretty sick. Oh, and alien. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I That was like one of the scenes. There was a tits and leprechaun. There was the scene sex scene in Titanic. Tits and Leprechaun was the first time I got in trouble from my parents.

2:05 Yeah, that was came into the basement at my friend's house and we had it paused on Tits and Leprechaun. That was What the [ __ ] is this? I swear to God it wasn't me. That was that those movies were the goon boon back in the day. Yep. There was no other opportunity, dude. You'd have to like pray to perfectly craft what you you were like, "Yo, I heard there's boobs in Leprechaun in space. I'm going to tell my mom I'm going to rent Leprechaun in space. She's not going to hopefully check." Yeah. You were like a cargo cult just waiting on just like the forces of the world to move around. You like, "Oh, they're back.

2:36 Tits are back now." Music videos were my mainstay. But yeah, you did BT Late Night. Yeah, that was that was big for me. Yeah, that was huge. But anyway, that's the the main order of business which I already told you is yesterday I had a very important uh I had a business meeting, big Hollywood stuff. Yeah. And uh I woke up late and I the the meeting was delayed about an hour because of how late I was. Not because I was out partying that but because I was up till 4:00 a.m. playing Medieval Dynasty. And if you ever played that game, you realize that's a real [ __ ] psychotic move. I was literally chopping trees for 6 hours, dude.

3:18 Gathering sticks. Forget all the sticks you got. I got a lot of sticks. I got a lot of sticks and stones. And village you showed me. I was [ __ ] The village is astounding. I was like really preparing myself. You told me about it and I was like, "Dude, be supportive." Cuz I thought you were going to show me some ranky dink [ __ ] No, bro. That was like what? A six hut village with a with a ye old blacksmithy. That would have taken a normal man weeks. Took me one day of just uh a really pathetic day. At what cost? The cost was I was late for a pretty important meeting that I thought was going to be like three writers. It ended up being the director and the star of the movie waiting for it. Big I'm I don't want to spill the beans, but it was I was shocked, dude.

3:58 Your eyes are puffy, bro. I got I was like, "Oh, fuck." It was like, you know, when you're like late for school or work or something, I woke up like, "Oh, shit." I slept through my alarm. I just joined the meeting, seeing if they were still there. So, from my bed in the dark, I joined the meeting. And you can block out who it is. It was wow. Wow. I was like, "What's up, dude? Sorry. I just woke up. Sorry to make you wait." From the darkness. They watched me walk into the light. And your face was definitely like what's up? Dark red. Just like I tried to put on sunglasses. I got to put on sunglasses. You can't see me. This. And I put on sunglasses. I was like, "What the [ __ ] am I doing? This is what I look like."

4:38 And from the evil I told him I explained exactly what I was I was like I wasn't out partying. This is from me checking my clock way too late gaming. I was going it's probably two four. I was like Jesus. Yeah. Sticks and literally sticks and stones. Literally just chopping chopping logs all night so that my village start [ __ ] we weaving baskets that I run to the town to sell for [ __ ] $2 over and over again. It's [ __ ] up. It's really [ __ ] up to do that. There's no like reward in the game. Just Yeah, it's Dude, that game rules out.

5:14 Game's awesome. I can't wait. I'm going to hit I'm going to hit a nice midnight. Also, Courty talking you had to court the [ __ ] your wife. I quartered my babe every morning. Pregnant. Congrats, by the way. She is pregnant. Thank you, fellas. She said, "Meet. Let's meet back in our room at 7:00 p.m." And I Are you serious? I almost jacked off here in I almost jacked off in reality. Oh, she's such a sweet angel. And then I uh What will you name your medieval son? Adolf? No, this is my son, Adolf. Uh I don't know, Matthew. I'll name him after you.

5:47 That'd be I'd be honored. He'll be a king. I I'd be honored. What happens in medieval dynasty is when you die, you live as your son. Oh, that's you follow your seed. What? Yeah. You got to build a dynasty. Holy [ __ ] Yeah. Wait, so when you you died, I don't want to put you on blast. when you got attacked by a wolf and died. Did you didn't come back as your son? How many respawns? I came back as myself. You can come back as yourself. How many times? I don't know. If I would have quit there, that might have ended my dynasty.

6:12 I can't do that. So, if you don't respawn, that's over. If next time if my son is born, if young Matthew is born, oh then then I'll go, you know what? That wolf got me during the hunt. Whoa. Then you come back when he's on. I come back as my son. Yeah. As a boy or a man? I'm not sure. I haven't gotten that far. I've been chopping logs. I haven't True. True. I mean, your son's going to take it to such got farm going. Carrots. I saw the apple orchard. Apple orchard was just built. I mean, this is and and you had your bar you had your barley reserves from the barley reserves from the last great that that harvest which I immediately took to town and sold. Got some clay pots. Not a big deal.

6:48 Don't talk about the cherry juice. Don't you dare bring up the cherry juice. Sorry. Sorry to bring that up. This is This was a low point. This is like This was a low point for the village, dude. My sweet wife got me a [ __ ] cherry juice for a for a gift. She must have saved up $65. Which money by Where'd you get that money from? Don't you dare. Don't you dare. She was tricking. Matt, what the [ __ ] dude? She was not tricking. She saved up cuz she cares about me. And she got me cherry juice. And then I checked. Our coffers were low. I had to pawn the cherry juice to get some fertilizer for the beets.

7:30 You got to do what you got to do, dude. I had to get fertilizer and beats. That was That was a real low point. You saw me deliberate. Yes. In his one cabin, there's just a chest where his all his stuff is in his It's just a simple chest. There's like sticks rocks logs. My sticks, rocks, and logs. You laugh, but they're fueling it. You'll see my dynasty. Mushrooms and cherry juice. And he like he goes, "I got to sell the cherry juice." We got to sell it. What's wrong with that? He's like, "My wife gave it to me." My wife gave it to me as a gift, dude. I didn't want to do it, but No, I I get that.

8:08 I'm going to tell her I drank it. How are you going to sleep? You need to drink tart cherry cherry juice. I'm going to tell her I drank it. Yeah, you gozled it out on a hunting expedition. Yeah, I got attacked by a [ __ ] wolf. There's boar out there that'll get you. Is it really? Yeah, there's all types of creatures that'll eat you. The forest was scary, dude. I thought you I thought it was a free-for-all. For real, dude. is nuts. Sean, don't [ __ ] laugh. Yeah, Sean, it's not [ __ ] funny. You guys, it's all a game to you guys, but to me, it's a true dynasty. It's a medieval dynasty. My son Matthew will rise and he's going to take over the big town when I'm I'm going to raise a force.

8:41 That'll be nice. Yeah, that place will be crazy. I go in there, if if you don't shower, if you don't get in the water for a while, you stink and nobody will talk to you. They treat me like a real outcast in there. I like I like how you courted your wife. Every morning I woke up, sprinted across the river and was like, "Hello, I love you." And then you have to wait the next day to be able to talk to her again. The days are long, too. Long as [ __ ] Days. Like when you planted those apple trees, I'm like, "Bro, this is going to be I'm check back in in the spring."

9:07 Literally, it's insane how I' And also, I get excited for my harvest. Yeah. So, I'm like, "All right, I'll stay up until the fall." It just takes [ __ ] six more hours. It was It was a real It was a sad moment seeing the clock hit. It was 3:55 and I was like, "This is something's wrong." It's so funny waking up for a high power meeting and being like high power meeting. I was gathering threw on a [ __ ] Bryce Harper jersey unbuttoned. I was like, "What's up, guys?" Yeah. Oh, that's all the game. I think it worked. I think that my demeanor in the meeting I think so was appreciated as power.

9:39 I I I would venture to guess that you might have been the first person to ever zoom into the meeting hung over from medieval medieval conquest. For sure. Nobody that's been hung over from medieval dynasty has ever had a power and come clean. Say fellas, I'm going to come clean to you guys. I was I mean I'm building something special. Yeah, you guys have your thing going on. We can talk about that, but let me just tell you about hindsight. I should have just been like, yo, I got [ __ ] up with Jelly Roll last night.

10:06 I thought it was less embarrassing to be like, I was playing a video game. It turns out it's way more embarrassing. It's so funny. Yeah, it's so Especially when you're sitting there, you're like, [ __ ] going on. Like, dude, I'm full full honesty. I was up all night playing [ __ ] medieval RPG. It's like, "Oh man, I can't be mad." Yeah, it was nice. I think they respected that though. You have to. And also, I was probably dripping medieval [ __ ] swag. That's They were probably like, "This guy is going to be something special."

10:30 You might have hit him with a good day. You don't even know it. I have been. Yeah, my lord. Excuse me, my lord. Excuse my indolence, my lord. Forgive me. I threw a snowball at the king. Dude, don't talk about that. I know. He might get me. Yeah chill. He wasn't looking. Threw a snowball at him. ran ran out of the fort back to my [ __ ] side of the river. I'm a mess. You're crazy for bringing that up. I can't believe you threw a snowball at the [ __ ] king. All right. I thought something bad was going to happen. Nothing.

11:01 I mean, dude, maybe next time I see him, it's on site. But no, you talked to his son. You think you would hold the wicked prince? The prince is a dick, too, by the way. He is I didn't like his [ __ ] vibe at all. But you talk to the the prince is just walking around. The apple which are by the road is a mistake. Why? They're going to steal that from me. They're not going to take Who's going to take your apples? Just any traveler. They're going to go, "Oh, here's some apples." Oh, dude. You can not They might Yeah.

11:25 After you make an example out of the first guy. True. Told you. Have some guards. You're your plan was a He said my wife was going to get sexually assaulted by highway men. He thinks it's a funny fun thing to joke about her. I thought I had to have your wife guard the apple worship. No, she's going to get they're going to take my apples and sexually assault my wife and then I'm going to have to pretend to be more mad about the essay than the fact that I lost all those apples. We're going to need those apples. I was just saying to me, you got to have you got to have someone guarding those fields dude.

11:59 I will. I'll literally that'll be the rest of the game. I'll stand there for [ __ ] three straight days in real life. Honey, get inside. That game is [ __ ] sick. So, I got that going on. That's awesome. This episode of Matt and Shane Secret podcast is brought to you by Dude Wipes. Matt, take it from there. Well, let me tell you something about these dude wipes right now, man. I'd love to take it right here. Here we go. I'm your butthole. Yeah, me. The most overworked, underappreciated part of your body. Name two or three poor choices that your butthole never appreciates. For example, buffalo wings, iced coffees, gas station sushi.

12:44 Yeah, there's I mean all of those. What's going on? This is This is disgusting stuff. Yeah, jalapeno poppers, root beer floats. That's a weird one to tie to your butt. I don't know what that would do to my root beer floats. Yeah, they also they put in here um twoft double-ended dill. Yeah, that's bad for your butt, man. Corner store chili cheese dogs. I'm the one dealing with your poor choices. That's from the butthole. What? And then you drag a dry ass tissue across me like you're sanding a piece of [ __ ] coffee table until I'm a throbbing red balloon knot.

13:16 Who the [ __ ] wrote this ad? Dude wipes available at retailers nationwide and Amazon. Look, they do [ __ ] rule. You don't have to you don't have to write that ad, Reed. Yeah, they're good for your butt. It feels good. It's I mean traveling with them is for real. Like my traveling with them is great. First day of traveling, my ass falls apart. Terms, it's just completely blistered. You get a you get a oil slick. Exactly. These are designed specifically. The oil slick then irritates the skin. If it was just an oil slick, fine, but then your skin gets all irritated. But having these to come back from and just Yeah.

13:47 Like after like a warrior in battle, just kind of dabbing it. But yeah, they're flushable. Extra large with scents like mint chill and shea butter. Stop being an a-hole to your bee hole. We take it all back. That's [ __ ] cool. Yeah, that was great. Dude Wife available at retailers nationwide and Amazon. Yeah, we support this product for sure. All right, what else is going on? Just distracting yourself from the comedy wars. The comedy wars are in full effect, dude. The comedy wars. The comedy wars. The war for the butt wipes.

14:19 Yes, we have all the butt wipes. They're coming for our butt wipes. They want to take our butt wipe sponsors. Our scene is still young and our butt wipes may dwindle. The butt wipes will slip through our fingertips and into the hands of more experienced podcasters. Yes. You're just mad I have all the butt wipes. So sad to see, man. It's tough to see. You know what I got to say? You know what I got to say to everybody? And sorry if you don't like this. I hope they all find peace and joy and happiness, dude. For real.

14:50 Yeah. I hope everybody does. I hope I do. That'd be [ __ ] sick. Yeah. You'll get Dude, you keep working like I saw you [ __ ] working. I know. I was working. I had a good day. I had a good day yesterday, too. Got in the pool, laid around, said, "You know what? It's time to It's time to build a hut." How'd you hear about that game? I had it a while ago. It was It was uh so boring. I stopped. Really? Yeah. I mean, it takes like a level of like I don't know. I know what you mean, dude. That's Yeah. I I could I could lock into that, though. I I the same thing where if it's like just give me that task, I get to and like you see cuz that's also that's slowgoing progress, bro. It's not some like [ __ ] where you're just hitting necks and like walls are appearing.

15:29 You're exactly right, Matt. That's, you know, I mean, I am glad you appreciate what I've done over there. Dude, I saw the village for real. Got to get some chickens, though. I just built a chicken coupe. Got to get into town and buy some chickens, but I got to sell all those [ __ ] baskets first so I can buy a chicken. True. I saw you. That's kind of where you baskets. They've [ __ ] my village pretty bad. Yeah, they're using all my sticks that I've gathered. Ah, those stone tools are nice, though. I saw that. Stone tools were nice. I didn't realize that. Yeah.

15:53 Yeah, the that makes sense. baskets. You guys are a small commune of course you made wicker baskets. Checking for balls. All right, keep an eye on the balls cuz we can't have that again. Oh, you're checking looking at his penis the whole time. I saw you check the lens. He want to see if there's a good shot. We're getting close. So far, we're good. Sean, if his penis slips out, we lose all my penis shoots out of these shorts. If we lose all of our butt wipes, I'll try again. If my penis was able to fly out of these shorts, I would sacrifice all the butt wipes. I'd be such a happy guy. Dude, I knew my dick I knew my dick was too big to be a podcaster. I can't even sit down anymore.

16:33 Instead, I have the perfect design penis for a podcast. That thing's not going anywhere. YouTube loves the size of my penis, dude. No problem. Is this podcast safe for kids? Yes. Yes, it is. Forever. Eternally. Uh, so I got Medieval going. Yeah. Uh, Oasis is on tomorrow. That's gonna be tight. Today Wednesday? Yeah, tomorrow's Thursday. God, tomorrow's Thursday. We're gonna be there tomorrow night. Yeah, it' be [ __ ] sick. That's crazy. In Yeah, in Shy Town. And then uh so tomorrow, I believe this Under Armour commercial or internet video comes out tomorrow, so I can talk about it now.

17:11 I'm very excited about it. I put Phil in it, dude. Phil Gillis makes his acting debut. Furl kills it. Honestly, he was great. He was Phil and uh head coach Marcus Freeman of the Notre Dame Fighting Irish finally on screen together. That's the people have been begging for this. It's It plays well. It Phil does all right. I swear to God you usually can tell if somebody's never especially like it's like a real [ __ ] thing. So it's like Yeah, he did great. But it was funny to watch him and Marcus find out about how shitty making a commercial is.

17:42 How long it takes. So every we did the same scene [ __ ] Yeah. so many times and both of them were like, "All right, we got it, right?" Yeah. Like, "We're good." We got it from one one camera. We're going to switch do the same thing over and over again. Yeah. Phil got a little tired. He was ready to get to the linebacker. Yeah. The bar there. Is this a bar called the linebacker? Yeah. At at Notre Dame and Phil frequents it. It is funny cuz he definitely probably thought this was like, "All right, it's like probably half an hour."

18:08 20 minutes, 30 minutes. Film is out in half an hour. It's [ __ ] How long? 2 minutes long. 3 minutes long. It's got to be a [ __ ] 30 minute film. Yeah. Not the case. Took all day. Have you grinded the tape at all in the commercial? I've been grinding the tape. Did you really? Yeah. I've watched it so many times. What do you think of Actually? Yeah, you have. So happy about it. You have You have ground the tape. Yeah. It like is like the best thing. Seeing Phil at Notre Dame. It's very nice. I don't care if the commercial sucks. It doesn't. But it's good.

18:36 Yeah. But it was nice to get him in there. It was nice anyway. And I called him like the day before we filmed. Did you really be like, "Phil, you're in this." He's like, "Okay." Yeah. He pretended he he was like, "All right, Shane, you got to pay me this time. You got to pay me a lot to get me out there." I was like, "Get on the [ __ ] plane, dude. Shut up." He definitely hung up. I was like, "Fuck." Yeah. Joan Jones, bring me my lunch. You got on the the beautiful flight from Harrisburg, Pennsylvania to South Bend, Indiana.

19:01 Oh, you want to see some ugly people? Get on that [ __ ] flight. Everyone's hurt. Everyone's got a disease and it's [ __ ] up. Harrisburg to Indiana. That's an ugly bunch. Phil was probably that they probably were like, "You must be a movie star." They just catapult a bus all the way. Just [ __ ] get a Greyhound. Just launch it. Yeah. Phil must have been Yeah. That's why he was so confident. He probably felt good on that flight. True. Yeah. It's also what was embarrassing cuz we brought the crew who filmed it was just everyone who did tires. So, but it just me and my dad both act like we went to Notre Dame. Like we were driving around. Like you see this campus here?

19:43 This part of the campus. Look at the bricks they use. It's the same bricks in every building. A lot of campuses don't have that. Take a look at that. I for real forgot you guys both didn't go there. I was like, "You guys, that's right. None of us went, dude. We walked around like, "Yeah, now look at that. That's the grotto." I took these [ __ ] animals from Philadelphia to the grotto. Did you? They were just screaming. They were hammered. They were just making noises and I was in there like, "Shut the [ __ ] up. No, knock it off. Pray."

20:08 Yeah. [ __ ] enough of that. I said a prayer. I said a prayer for my young baby Matthew. Thank the rise to be strong. What do you What do you want for your child? I just I I can't wait to play as him, you know? I can't wait to inhabit his body. Yeah true. No, I mean, I hope he's as strong of a lumberjack as uh his father. True. That's all we need is more more logs. Your father His father's a skilled craftsman as well. True. I saw I saw a couple [ __ ] put together a stone knife to skin that deer. Stone knife on the fly. That was impressive.

20:39 Yeah, that's that's where it gets a little pathetic where I know exactly how many sticks and stones I need to craft [ __ ] That was uh Anyway, but Phil's acting debut is tomorrow. That's nice. Currently, when this is out, hopefully I think it's tomorrow. It'll be uh I know this will be out tomorrow. I can assure you that. Gardini's on the case. All he's got to do is blur your monster hog. Got to blur this hog out again. Somebody's got to feed these hogs, dude. I Oh man, I think I I think I messaged Oh, yeah. I told Gardini about this. I came across a thing. I think it was like the day we recorded the podcast last week.

21:17 Unfortunately, my YouTube has I've been like curating my YouTube because it's just starting getting like annoying political stuff and obviously no jumper comes back up because I think Blizz has been sending me some stuff or I don't know. But I I come across this. Actually, this came across my feed organically, but there was a guy who was in the Crips and none of this is funny, by the way, because it is a tragic situation. But I mean, dude, I I stayed up all night [ __ ] watching this video. So, I didn't know about this guy. He was in the Crips. He was like, you know, like a real gang banger. And he was doing drugs. He was on He was on uh Fentac, Ice Pack. He's doing fentanyl, meth.

21:54 These are his own his own words. Yeah, he was doing that. Pretty serious pack. And uh he he claims his story his story is that he was at a party one night. Someone slip spiked his per with meth, which is like, dude, special place in hell for anyone. If you do if you do fent and meth, your foraging skills go up to 10. You were a 10 level foraging. His went up too high. Oh really? Yes. Because he doesn't remember any of this. So he just like was, you know, out partying. He was like a gangbanger doing drugs, just living the life. And he just woke up one morning and everyone called him like, "Yo, like what the [ __ ] are you doing?" And he checked the interweb.

22:31 Apparently, he had been on FaceTime and got dominated by a Swedish lady into sucking, I believe, a Fanta bottle and putting it in his butthole or around. I don't know if it went in. I don't want to, you know, it went around or in his butthole. And he just got like completely gay dominated by a Swedish lady. He goes, "I don't remember any of it." Then his whole gang beat his ass. Oh, well they had to. What the [ __ ] They had to beat him up. They had to beat him up. What happened to just razing a guy? No, there was no razin cuz you just call him zesty after beyond. Yo, if you do more zesty [ __ ] me and Matt are going to [ __ ] jump.

23:08 We We'd have to DP him. Yeah, balls. But that's what it's called. It's called DP. Big balls. We have to DP. We have to DP, baby. But yeah, dude. was I was shaking in my bed just laughing like although it isn't funny but I was laughing just like it's very funny dude sucking a phantom bottle and getting kicked out of a gang is maybe the funny truly maybe the funniest thing in the world kicked you out of the gang for he got beat up huh he got he got he got beat up and then he went to jail so I think he's still in the gang according to him according to me too I say he's still in the gang my favorite thing about it was you told me that he blamed it on the on the bloods or the crips or whatever the set up.

23:48 I think the blood set him up. They spiked him so they could gay dominate him on FaceTime because of the meth. That's diabolic. He literally had meth and turn gay just for a night. Meth? Why does meth keep turning everyone kind of gay? Bro, I don't know. It does it to people, man. You I think you just have so much energy from it that you just start going like, "Yeah, usually don't have time to do gay stuff." You take a little math, you go, I want to hit the dance floor. Yeah. It's like I've gotten all of my straight business done. I still have a whole other half of my day that I usually sleep.

24:16 Side quest. Yeah. You have a whole like if you if you don't sleep for 3 days, your schedule opens up. Yeah. You know, cuz usually it's like, "Dude, we're so tired. We work so hard. We don't have time to be gay." Yeah. Wish I did. Oh Giants. Oh nice. James, why don't you just come right in? Yeah. Join. Grab a seat. Grab a seat, brother. Grab a seat. Grab a Brother Giants. Grab a broadcasting apparatus. I think I'm good. Yeah. Nice. I think good. Yeah. Good. Went to the Thinkery. Thinkery. Got all splashy. Place is a little little too busy for my liking.

24:48 I lost track of the children for whole stretches of time and there's a lot of big kids running around. Yeah, big kids. The place if you have an older kid. Fantastic. For little kids. Are they lad boys? It's it's full g full spectrum, bro. Snow's arc in there. Yeah, it's two of every kind. True. It really is. It is. It's It's a lot of old It's just like 25 field trips bouncing off of each other like particles and you just have to like grab your three-year-old and be like it's like it's like young Simba getting lost in the stampede.

25:21 But um let's just say many beautiful young mothers. I mean this I notice every time I'm there I'm the only dad and it's all the f the mothers and the young sexy nannies and they're all there y and me and my kids just staring at the uh you know the science. That's what I'm spending my time looking at. Just them. Do you go to the upstairs or the shopping area? We we shopped. We uh I there's a height chart that children could come and see how high they are. And I have a complex that my son is small, but I measured him. He's of normal height and I felt good and I felt proud.

25:53 Bang in the middle. Couldn't be more in the middle. But I There we go. I'm sorry. I'm late. Thank you for having me. You're totally fine. You're good, man. We were just done. Not long. I don't recall. 32 minutes if I had to guess. 20. No. 15. 25. We're at 25 right now. 20. So, yeah, you're close. When you came in, 23. [ __ ] it. What's up, James? Just hanging out. James, we got to make a video for the Crows. This has been a devastating couple of weeks for the Crow Boys. Why? All right. Not doing well. We finished top of the ladder. So, you you finished the season home and away season went number one. It was fantastic. You might have to bleep a word that I'm about to say, but our star player, Isaac Ranken, you're not going to bleep it? That's fine. I don't mind.

26:36 No. He called someone in the opposition. Wow. Wow. And he got he got dropped for 4 weeks. What? Which is the entire final season. If you win why he did that, he was upset. A player on the opposite team had concussed him the year before and been rubbed out for less than four weeks, I think, or exactly that. And uh so he he was dropping that. Now, the man he did say that to paints his nails and wears a lot of perfume. So that whole Collingwood backline is fate. But this is I mean it's just if if he had punched him in the throat he would have got less time dropping that but the league is a they've got all the women players now and they're all rainbow coalition and it's just the women is a different sport though right or they have for real women they get pushed together it's the same same sport played at a less captivating I'll get in trouble but it's not as good to watch what is it what are you talking about you're not

27:29 going to get in trouble dude they're not you're not going to get cancelled I I can't watch It's also, it's a violent sport. You don't want to see ladies getting punched in the back of the head. I don't. No, me either. At least it doesn't Unless I'm at the thinkery. Then I start hitting some real thoughts. Oh, I can't have my coffee in here, huh? Okay, that's fair. Yeah. How do you like that? Straight into the [ __ ] lazy river, [ __ ] It is funny cuz you like you're not allowed to have coffee in there and they'll like come up to you and be like, "Um, you're not allowed to have that."

27:58 And all you have to do allow coffee, dude. All you have to do literally go, "Okay." And just keep walking. and they go "Yeah and they'll come back up 10 minutes later, I'm sorry, but you're not allowed to have that." You go, "Oh, I'm sorry about that." And you just keep walking. Sorry, I didn't hear you. It's also so annoying. It's like, "Dude, yeah, I can have this. Relax. I'm not going to like dump it on a kid. I need this right now." So, you're telling me there's hot moms and nannies there? Yeah. Oh yes. Sounds like a nice time.

28:23 No. Is it a What's going on there? You said people were splashing. There was a splash pad upstairs at the I thought it was a water park. It's a museum. Thinker is like a kids museum. Science museum. Children's museum. But all these children's museums are basically the same. I've been to 20 across. You just touch a bunch of [ __ ] that a bunch of kids already touch. Everyone gets sick. Sick. Kid spits right in your [ __ ] mouth. It's positive in a way that the grown-up museums are not positive. You go to the grown-up museum, they're like, "This land is stolen. Slavery was terrible.

28:52 Look at all these birds that don't exist anymore." You go to the think, you go to the kids museum, you want to look at a microscope. How good is the sun? It's cool. I like I also like each one has a kind of rocket launching room. Yes. Where they have like a thing you put on. You can mess with the angles and send a handkerchief up into the air. Yeah. The handkerchiefs. The scarf thing's different. But do they have that at the thinkery where you can like put a foam rocket and step on a pedal? I know they didn't. They only had handkerchiefs. They must be nice to have kids so you can impress them with Oh dude.

29:20 Just everything. Yeah. They they get stoked. Holy [ __ ] You launched that [ __ ] rocket. Dude, me and Maya did a uh an inflatable pool in our front yard yesterday and it was like it was leaning on a hill and I just laid in this thing just spraying a hose in the pool just on both of us while it filled up. Just killed like two hours. It was awesome. Little later in the go there alone and you have five or six beers and pass out on the front lawn. That's the dream. Dude, the the inflatable pool was nice, bro. Yeah. My wife was hating on me. She's like, "You look like [ __ ] white trash out here." I was like, "Get that [ __ ] inside.

29:52 Get in. Definitely looked like white trash, dude. It was It was a crooked posing down a [ __ ] inflatable pool. Yeah. And I didn't fill it up all the way, so I was just like leaning in it like the above ground pool is never a classy No. above ground hot tub is acceptable, I think. But Oh yeah. You see the families with the huge above ground pool? Oh yeah. That's very Oh, they're nice though. Yeah. You get in them, you're like, man, this [ __ ] rules. Yeah, they're pretty awesome. They were like a fraction of the price.

30:19 And you can build a nice little wood deck around them to really spruce them up. Well, that's faking getting it into the ground. You're just building the ground up. Also, you know, you're going to have a good time. Oh, yeah. I mean, I would love sit on a deck in an above ground pool. You're like, we're going to somebody's going to fight. Oh yeah. This is going to be crazy. You make a you can make a nasty whirlpool in those things, too. Yeah, cuz everything's standing height. So, you and all your cousins just You don't run a circle like a Muslim dance.

30:45 I used to hate on above ground pools. Now I'm kind of like, ah, they're kind of nice. Especially you for the money of an like ingground pool. Front yard one. You ever see you ever see a front yard? I think they're like I think you're allowed to do that. There's some front yards in mechanics freak. There were when I was growing up. There's I think the people at the end of my block they had a horse in their front yard. Had a above ground. They had a horse in their front They had a horse tied to their tree in their front yard.

31:12 Just every time you do it for [ __ ] It was a horse was there for [ __ ] 20 years. Thing was not dying. It was amazing. By the end, it looked like the horse death was on because usually in the Midwest, you can't even have I mean, just every yard is exactly the same. It's just flat lawn. The backyard you can do something a bit wild, but they had a full horse. Growing up, there was no ho. You could, right? That's coming later. Yeah. Stop all these horses that people The horses I'm surprised made it as long as it did because every house in my neighborhood growing up was nice. And then at the end of the block there was just this looked like it was made out of like plywood house with a [ __ ] dying horse tied to its front. And it wasn't a big yard. The yard was like the size of my front yard. It'd be like if I had a horse tied to that tree.

31:54 Think about it. Crazy. Could be cool. I once saw a my neighborhood has [ __ ] animals. I saw a peacock. Turkeys. I've seen turkeys walking around. Yeah. Roosters. I like that. The best thing I ever saw in Austin was a It was a black guy on a horse just in a suburb. He was like in a neighborhood on a main road, no helmet. He was texting. He was texting and plopping and just like it was the most normal thing in the world. He was wearing a uh we call them wife beaters. I don't Yeah. He was wearing like one of those and just chilling out texting on his horse going down the street and you Well, they never got rid of horses, right? Like legally you can still take a horse.

32:29 Philly has their own like horse rides. Philly has horses. Yeah. Oh yeah. What people around the cobblestones of it's in West Philly and it's in also uh North Philly. There's a tradition of black guys with horses. Dude, the first first time I saw one was uh year like 20 it must have been like 2014 or you know whatever sometime around then. And I was like very very high at nighttime walking up to my house in West Philly and a black dude on a horse came by me and I was like [ __ ] [ __ ] I thought I was hallucinating. I swear to God, I was like, "What is going on?" And then like I looked into it and there was like a there's stables. Where the [ __ ] are they? Yeah, there's like a They're not that expensive.

33:10 It was in Rocky. It was in a Creed, too. They like a huge plot is the horse guys. That movie, too. Concrete cowboys. Concrete cowboys. Yeah. It's a way of life. I I felt so free looking at this man. No equipment. I think he had a saddle. That was it. He wasn't rides anyway. Only like fox catchers or something. There's no way. What are you talking about? We're from a very helmeted country. My kids are learning to ride bikes now with no helmets, and I'm so happy. My mom will be upset if she ever finds out. But it's there's such a freedom to wearing helmet kids.

33:42 Yeah, they're doing they're learning fast. Yeah, they better. Yeah, it's a good move. The way I was taught to ride a bike is my dad took me to the top of a hill by my elementary school the first time without training wheels and just launched me and I couldn't I didn't know how to. I just went straight into I was flying just straight into these bushes. Yeah. Yeah, I hit bushes as well. Yeah, thorns right in there. Yeah, it's tough to Dude, my kid like champs riding a bike. They don't do training wheels anymore. You do a thing where you have no training wheels, but your feet touch the ground. You have no pedals and you just like push yourself along and you learn how to balance. Then one day, we just threw on pedals and she just took off.

34:17 No problem. It's actually It's pretty insane. So training wheels are like the worst idea. How happy were you? I was pretty happy, honestly. Yeah, that'd be nice. I was pretty pumped. I just ran actually. I think I just skateboarded after and it was kind of nice. It's kind of scary though cuz they don't know how to turn at all. Also, they're like, "No, it's pretty." And then like the street, they'll they'll they will just ride right through the street. You got to be like "Stop." I just bet. Yeah. A lot. Yeah. This episode is brought to you by Prize Picks. Matt Chain, what was your favorite part of last football season?

34:45 The Super Bowl. What was your favorite part of the football season? Favorite part of the Was it watching Saquon Barkley? Yeah. When It was honestly watching uh against the Chiefs. Yeah, I saw that and I had a Chiefs fan in the house, so that was nice. Yeah. Yeah, I mean it almost felt bad because they were winning so badly that I Yeah, he just went outside the whole time. What are you most excited about this upcoming season, Matt? This upcoming season I I Is there any young teams? I I like I'd like to see a young team really kind of snap together.

35:12 Trying to think of a cool young Unfortunately, it's the Washington Commanders are kind of the cool Are they really younger team? No, I've been beefing with Washington. Yeah, I don't want to. Also, I'm kind of pissed they change. I don't you know I don't Bri They should have picked something else. Matt, talk about your thoughts on the upcoming football season. This is going to be a big year, man. They got a lot of new They got a lot of new things coming in. I know they got Friday night football is big. They got a lot more. Are they adding the 15th game cuz that is kind of 16th.

35:44 They've already done maybe more. Okay. That's what I want to see. I want to see football get more commercialized. Yeah. In a way, you know, I want to see them grind some more money out of these players. Yes. And uh extra weeks on a on a grueling sport that that has constant injuries. If they blow you more weeks. Yeah. If they get hurt, they get [ __ ] hurt, man. I don't care. Yeah, that's good. I want to see I just want to see more merch. I want to see more. We do need more merch. Uh all this football talk is getting me pumped.

36:11 It's getting me pumped, dude. Thankfully, the football season is already underway on Prize Pix. Prize Pix is offering seasonl long stat picks that we can take right now before the season even starts. Dude, think about that. Here we go. Uh, Prize Pix is simple to play. Just pick more or less on athletes stat stat projections. If you get your picks right, you could cash in and win up to 2,000 times your money. Prize Pix is the best way uh to get action on sports in more than 30 states, including California, Texas, and Georgia. And as Texas, guys, we love that.

36:40 Mhm. Uh download the app today and use code drench to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup. That's code drench to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup. Prize picks. Run your game. This is an ad by BetterHelp. The help with the better. There is a lot of misinformation on the internet. Oh yeah, you guys know that, Sean. You know that? Yes. And from that talking point, my next thing is things that I've really struggled to find. Yeah, that makes sense. There's a lot of misinformation on the internet. How much searching did I have to do before I found something that actually worked for me, if at all? Guys, I'll be honest. I'm still searching for that.

37:21 I'm still searching myself. Still searching for that something, man. You know what I mean? I'm really, really struggling. I'm struggling. Oh, man. Instead of looking for a solution from questionable sources. Sometimes it's better to just talk with a professional. Like, if you're struggling with your mental health, a credentialed therapist can help you find a solution that works for you. Yeah, that'd be nice. If you feel comfortable, talk about how you've benefited from therapy. I'm not comfortable doing that. Yeah, I don't want to I don't I'm My anxiety is spiking right now.

37:49 Yeah, I don't know why you would ask us that. That's not good for my mental health. Yeah, I might have to take a break if that's okay. Yeah, we're going to have to take a break. Millions have benefited from therapy through BetterHelp. It's convenient and based on the millions of glowing reviews and ratings, there's a reason people keep coming back or going back, I should say. Plus, as the largest online therapy provider in the world, take that. BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of ex [ __ ] BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of expertise. I was about to be like expertise.

38:29 Talk it out with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.comssp. That's betterh elb.com/mssp to help with the better. I'll do it. Yeah, go ahead. Black Israelite, the my new comedy special September one that's coming out on my It's going to be really great. Huge. I've seen you run a lot of that material and you've seen it all. Yeah. Yeah. And every time you've done a show with me, every single DM I get after was like, "Who the [ __ ] was that Australian man?" Well, it's only 23 minutes. I've panicked and it out again, but man, it's going to be awesome.

39:04 And I tour dates. I'm going to Houston, St. Louis, Omaha, Springfield, Indianapolis, Las Vegas, Irvine, Los Angeles, Baltimore, and more. Where where can they get tickets? JDFmckan.com. I got to work on a better website, right? JDF. JDF.com. Yeah. Disquising Levels of Egg. New book of poems. Number one. They won't give me a book deal. No one. I'm doing my best. I just put out a couple of tour dates. Uh shanemgillis.com. Uh, go to my YouTubetubes, please. Yeah, Matt's got that cartoon. That's It's great. I got a whole new song, too, man.

39:40 It's really good. Thank you. Did you hear my song or did you listen? I haven't heard the song. Yeah, it's half credit sequence. Half of a song. We got more plugs. Yeah. Get in there. And uh please, if you're in Gas Atlanta, please come see me October 23rd at Atlanta Helium. That'd be huge for me. Thank you so much. Was I not on screen? God damn it. Oh, and and not this uh September 2nd. September second next week, please. Thank you. And well done on the Madison Square Garden. You've got third is on sale. Third's on sale now.

40:20 You're going to break a record. No, the record is five. Sebastian Maniscal on five. I looked it up. You can get You sold the first two out in like a day. Yeah. It's not until next year. It's not until January. My stock could go down by then. No. Could be an empty garden. No. And if it is an empty garden, I'm still performing for sure. It's going to be the funniest way to end the best thing ever. Literally the best way to end a career. If my career falls off between now and January, I'm doing three empty gardens. And just going home.

40:50 That would be awesome. That'd be a nice special, too. Triple crown. Just go the triple crown. Triple crown. Silent bombs. Scalpers just get [ __ ] Scalpers. Scalpers get absolutely [ __ ] Uh yeah, that's a kind of a dream. It'd be a nice way to go home. Be awesome. I could put all my effort in a medieval dynasty. Focus heavily on building the ultimate city in town for my beautiful wife. I'm looking after the kids every day at the moment. My wife is uh she's unwell and she was in bed and I've just got the kids every day and I just try and tie them out with they're just going around the other children on the street. They want my weird children to go away from them.

41:28 They cycle up to them and ask to play with their basketball. And I taught him how to swim. That was a big That's a big break this week, going to the pool. And I just try and exhaust my ADHD daughter by forcing her to swim. She's I'm tired, Dad. I go swim through it. Yeah. Do it. Push on. Go. She's her shoulders are getting It's only been like two weeks, but she's going to be You're going to be watching Lady AFL. You're going to be watching the Lady Crom. I hope I just have a trans son who can dominate the league. No, not even for that.

41:58 The crumb is this is heartbreaking this week. It's ruined my the fact that they all he did was call a man and they're going to take his career away from him. Is he is he benched for a little bit for the finals? Is this that first time playing finals in eight years? Is he on record saying can he be like I didn't say he cocked to it immediately. He said they must have had footage and I wanted him to come out as gay. I thought that would have been that would have been the move but he's he loves the ladies. Yeah, sweet Isaac. And then he went to Italy to cool down. Oh, that's not good.

42:28 I know. That's should still be training. If you guys lose the first Yeah. still make it to the granny. I don't think he was doing well. We've all got a rally. He's not getting like banned from the league. He's just getting suspended, right? But it's four games. So, if you lose the first game, Yes. He can still You've really picked it up. I'm trying to get to the granny. You're grinding the tape. I've been grinding the tape. A lot of people are afraid to grind the tape. This is the dream is that we lose the first game of the finals and then he would get to play in the grand final.

42:50 But what is nice about the AFL is you can't be taken off for a foul. You can be suspended afterwards, but they can't take you off at any point in the game. So, when you announce your retirement before the grand final, uh, the violence is astronomical. You You get a blank check. They can't do anything to you. You think Tex is going to hit the If Tex retires, you think he's going to go wild? I reckon might come out. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, I reckon. Nice. I reckon the arms might come out on big T. Need a granny for Adelaide. Up the chrome.

43:20 Up the chrome. Up the [ __ ] chrome. I would I would like to see my transdaughter dominate in sports if I'm being honest. If it's like, you know, cuz it's it's a lot to process. You imagine having a trans daughter lose in all those sports. Go we're putting it back on. There was an Indian trans at the Olympics or interex who could still couldn't keep up with the ladies. Yeah. Well, that's although that's kind of hardening. It's like, damn, you really are a [ __ ] girl. Yeah. Thought you were true. You earned it, bud.

43:48 Yeah. I thought you were fibbon. I thought you were fibbing for attention in elementary school. You're [ __ ] dead on. Get in the car, you [ __ ] unathletic [ __ ] I'd have to stop though and be like, be honest with me, you weren't losing out of kink. You were throwing that. Was that kink? Yeah, that was a little kink. Yeah, that would be cool though, just watching like pure domination and being like, "Fuck it. That's my girl." It's got to be Everyone's like crying about it, but what about the parents? Also, that would fire me the [ __ ] up, dude. If I was like uh the pen swimmer's [ __ ] parents.

44:20 Yeah. People like, "Get him out of the pool. That's a guy." Be like, "Yo, shut the [ __ ] up. Science is real, bitch." I would I'd be the biggest lib on earth, dude. If that was my kid, I'd be in there. I'd be You'd have no choice. I'd hold a Ukraine flag every [ __ ] match. Yeah, you'd have to. I'd be going crazy. Yeah. Unless somehow you can do a Jenner be Republican trans. Yeah. Republican trans is the most powerful dangerous force on We got to get up in the log cabin. True. You know where the log cabin is? I thought you log cabin. No, no. The log cabin is where all the gay rep It's like the gay Republican gathering place. They call it a log cabin. I don't know why.

44:55 The log cabin is where like gay Republicans can like can join. Finally. Yeah. You get the gay You get the log cabin. Out of the toilets and into the beautiful It's the poor gays who have to go to a public toilet. The rich Republican gays go to a fancy log cabin. I might go there and shake something. Shake something for the boys. Might shake something. Shake something for uh shake some crime statistics for him. Oh, they probably jizz everywhere. Yo, my dick's only 13% of what it should be, but it's it's about to commit 50% of your [ __ ] ass.

45:31 Who's that [ __ ] from South Carolina? Who's that gay [ __ ] I don't know if I should say it like that, but you know who I'm talking about. Lindsey Graham. No, you cannot say that. Lindsey Graham's in there twerking for the boys, dude. Honey, I got to go to the log cabin again. Yo, I was uh we're bashing pubs. I'm all about it. I was [ __ ] looking at Audible last night. I was down. I was trying to get a book going. What'd you got? Uh and then it was like the books under like history. I just looked at the top. One of them's What's that [ __ ] uh who's the FBI? Uh Cash Patel.

46:06 Cash Patel's book. It's like American gangsters or like uh political gangsters and it's like how we're going to expose the deep state. That's his book. It's called Political Got there and got threatened and he went then he got in there's nothing to He said Epste [ __ ] did it but he killed himself. Yeah. You know what? Turns out the gangsters have done their political gangsters. Yeah. Turns out there actually are political gangsters and they cut my head off. There's a Hubbaloo about Melania being on the cover of Vanity Fair. One of those magazines. I don't know which one.

46:36 And there's people saying like the staff either it's Vanity Fair or people I don't know but there's a they're saying like the staff is threatening to leave and it for the first time I've never seen this but I saw one of the and it could have just been a bot on Twitter but someone was like how do you [ __ ] like it there's 100 million of us Trumpers and we'll get and we will support this magazine stand against the fascists and I was like whoa the libs are fascist now the libs I didn't know the libs are fascist I got to get me some of that Vanity Fair magazine dude they're like we are million strong.

47:06 We will support you Melania on your cover of Vanity Fair. They're both fascists. That's the both sides are calling each other. I think now is just if someone who disagrees with you is a fascist. Did you see Marin this week? No. No. He's coming for Chappelle. He's saying that Netflix standing with Chappelle showed that they were a fascist organization and he will not work with them. He's right. They are. No, I'm feeling the wind. I'm kidding. I'm feeling the wind. I'm feeling the wind shift. I'm going full woke, dude.

47:36 I'm going full [ __ ] woke. I am too. [ __ ] fascist, dude. What did that guy say in the soccer game? Piece of [ __ ] Yeah. Piece of [ __ ] dude. Cracker Barrel. I was furious. I was [ __ ] livid, dude. They reversed it today. They took it back. They got they [ __ ] What happened to Cracker Barrel? You're Cracker Barrel is a bunch of [ __ ] dude. Yeah, you can't fold, dude. Minimalist SCre. Cracker Barrel took the old white guy off the cover. What? And they everyone everyone was like, "You [ __ ] pussies." Woke [ __ ] Everyone that's fascism.

48:10 Also, what what is even woke about taking an old white guy off the thing? A cracker. Why Why did they take the cracker off there? They took the cracker and the barrel off. Oh, the barrel, too. The barrel. It just said cracker barrel and like shitty. It was a terrible redesign, but nobody was mad about I mean, I guess people were upset. They were like, "This is a bad redesign. That would have been a fair critique, but instead people were like [ __ ] woke [ __ ] That was an extra. I want my Cracker Barrel. So, wait, they put him on I don't. So, they did what was the redesign of It just said Cracker Barrel.

48:41 It's just a yellow letter. There used to be a guy sitting there next to the word Cracker Barrel. They got rid of the guy. Was he a Jew? He was a I mean, if you really want to look into the history, yeah, probably purveyor of fine cheeses. Uh, I thought there was going to be a logo spazz on the Notre Dame guy. What do they do with that? They changed it to a guy running the football. And when we were when we were filming that commercial, they showed me the Under Armour people were like, "Here's the new logo. Here's the new leprechaun." And I was like, "Yo, you guys, you don't know what you're doing."

49:11 Why did they No, you changed this guy. You guys are [ __ ] Is it the same guy? This guy was still around, but sometimes he's still around some That's how the Reddit board managed to defend it. Said, "No, every team has a leprechaun carrying something alternate logo." Yeah, you can't get rid of this. But everybody loves the leprechaun. That's coming. That's next week. Yeah, it's Sunday. Sunday. This Sunday? Yes. Week zero. Week zero has been good though. I'm not going to go. I got to go. Uh I'm going to be in Chicago till Sunday. I'm going to fly to PA. I'm going to watch it.

49:39 You're going to be so close. I'm going to watch Notre Dame Miami and Pennsylvania. Where? Chicago. Chicago. Oh, no. It's at Miami. It's at Miami. Honestly, they don't have a good track record down in Miami. Matt, you're exactly right. I've been watching tough time. You've been grinding the tape. They they don't do well on at Miami cuz it's it's [ __ ] Miami Super Bowl. True freshman red shirt Matt. He's a red shirt. He's a red shirt. He's going up against Carson Beck who's a transfer from Georgia who had a hell of a career.

50:06 Oh no. And he's at Miami now. So they the quarterback. We'll see. We're going to have to protect him. We're going to have to protect Young CJ. Yeah true. Yeah. It's going to come down to the nose tackle from what I gather for Miami tackle. That's You've been grinding the [ __ ] out of the tape, dude. It's crazy. That's my take personally. That's my take. That's going to come down to that nose tackle cuz we all know they got that that defensive man. Exactly. We know about that defensive man. that DT tackle can eat up two blockers and now you're leaving one-on-one a tackle with that DN or I mean god forbid a [ __ ] running back picking up the pass block.

50:35 How long so when they when they played Ohio that that one drive was what about 18-minute drive cuz I want to see him do something first drive it was 18 plays 18 plays it was the whole first quarter it was yeah I want to see I want to see a couple more little something a little more explosive a little more dynamic in terms of going down the field taking Well that's that's what we're hoping with this quarterback he's got more of an arm does he? Yeah. There we go. Last guy was a runner. Yeah, but I'll tell you what, third and one, you're getting that first down with that quarterback.

51:00 Yeah, his short air acceleration, bro. He's willing to die for that yard. And when you see your quarter, let's say, let's say you're a left tackle, you got a bum ankle. All right, you see your quarterback dive across that [ __ ] first down marker. Suddenly that ankle doesn't hurt that bad anymore. You go, this whole team's ready to die right now. When it How's Jeremiah Love's body is holding up? Is he come back? Jeremiah Love's body is looking nice. All right, good. His body His body is looking good. We're gonna have to keep him healthy. You're exactly right, James. But we got good Jaren Price is back there and Williams.

51:32 We got some good running backs. I'm not worried about that. I followed the whole on the off season as felt boys would walk around the Notre Dame campus and the press coverage from this is incredible. Take a picture of the boys. You go, this kid's looking strong. It's one way to do it. A 17-year-old with beautiful That's a news story for Notre Dame is a a 17-year-old with big shoulders just walking around the campus. We saw him smiling with Coach Freeman. That's good. That's good stuff. You know who else is watching? Me. I'm the one who's reading that.

51:59 Get him. Get him. Do you make a Reddit exception for reading about Notre Dame? No, I stay off Reddit. Ah, you get to miss out on all of the real nothing. If I open Reddit, the first thing I see is Shang goes [ __ ] blows, dude. I can't get on that. Average is very positive. It's not. Do you think the coach ever like during locker time just looks at the muscles of all of his uh his team in like a good way? Like, damn, these guys have so many [ __ ] muscles. This is like the this is the physical machinery. I would. No. Like that's a guy's job.

52:27 That's awesome. Yeah. That's why strength and conditioning coaches are like out of their mind. True. They're like serious about that. Yeah. It's [ __ ] awesome. Just getting that extra. You have to. Dude, you you want your team to pass the eye test. Yes. You want to win the game getting off the bus. Oh my. You see those boys get off the bus, you go, "Oo, it's going to be a long day." I liked it when we played Georgia and many of them were fat and the commentary gets stuck in on fat teenagers playing four days ago. M strengthening program. Might have a couple of questions to answer.

52:56 I've exhausted all my grind the tape stuff I memorized. Dude, I'm out. You got to get more. Last as long as I can. You got to get more. Well, we were watching nasty YouTube videos about the comedy wars. I was like, what are we doing? Let's get something Let's get something positive. No, I had to stop. Put on [ __ ] Grind the Tape so much, dude. The state of the universe hangs in the balance, bro. What? The Comedy Wars. Yes, dude. The Austin comedy scene's too powerful. LA and New York need to unite to destroy the Austin comedy scene.

53:24 How are they going to stop it? That is just So, we have all the butt wipes. We have all the but they're they're doing a nice successful blockade on the butt wipes. They're going into like deep political theory and be like it's actually fascist. [ __ ] I didn't think about that. It's going to backfire. You can't do that. Blue, are you okay with me? You can't call the You can't call a group fascist. But then you can't say you're not f It's going to be like Cracker Barrel. It's going to be like Vanity Fair. True. You can't do that.

53:46 True. They're going to go, "Well, the thousand disabled guys going, we will soon forget that the disabled guys are little nasty fers." They're the ones climber [ __ ] Why, dude? Yeah. Think about it. You think because of the disability, you're like, "This guy must be a sweetheart." Then you talk to him, you go, "This [ __ ] this guy's a little climber. This guy's a little nasty fuck." Think about the think about the German. That could be any of them. I'm not saying Well, some of them don't have a lot of time. They've got to establish the career very quickly.

54:17 I think those guys, they seem good. Which specific the ses They're all fake, dude. Think about the think about the uh [ __ ] dread and like drudgery of just being like a healthy young man in an office. You're like, I got to escape this form that is my life. If you [ __ ] strap me down and like scramble my [ __ ] wires, I'd be like, I got to I got to [ __ ] do something about this. I Yeah, you got to nothing but respect for the disabled bros that for sure killing it. I They get me every time. Does New York have any disabled men?

54:50 A lot of stairs in that. There's a couple disabled men. A lot of fake ass [ __ ] going to get carried down. True. Yeah. Is that place even [ __ ] Is that place compliant by the way? The stand. Let me find some complaint. If you go in the front. Yeah. They they'll get some of those guys. I was about to make a YouTube video. Thank god. I was about to [ __ ] trash the dude. The New York comedy scene. We're coming for you. We need ramps. We need ramps, dude. That's one thing Austin's got a [ __ ] ton of. Every comedian takes 30 minutes to get to the stage. They got to sit on one of those [ __ ] You see our pool parties. Everyone's getting dipped in by those chairs.

55:31 We should get a zip line from the balconies. I still get moved every time when I see a dude with like genuine disabilities doing a thing on stage because it to me it's like I don't know I would give in. I would be it would just be too much for me. I don't know that my spirit would be resilient enough to [ __ ] practice the sacred art form of standup comedy. Dude, it's such a sacred art. And that's what I've that's what the thing that's driving me during the comedy wars is how sacred the art is. That's all. Yeah dude.

56:02 The Comedy Wars will pass. Yeah, you will. It's Yeah, it'll this is what I was I got to go to New York last year. So, I'm going I'm going back to Philly for about six months. So, yeah, I'm I'm out. [ __ ] the Austin scene, dude. No, I'm back east coast still east coast all day. I talked to the people in the New York and everyone talks a big game and then when they see you, they're very interested in knowing how that that's working and can they can they get a little piece of that? There's a hopelessness out there. You got LA. You say what are the podcasts that you can go on here? They got nothing. They got the Bad Friends Universe.

56:32 No, there's a lot. There's a [ __ ] There's so many. LA and New York are doing great. No, New York's doing great on the podcast. LA If you're Bill Glassman's out there. Yes, that's number three. There's a lot. How many? Name a fourth. Name a fourth. How many are [ __ ] here? We got the Matt and Shane secret podcast. We got the Joe. That's East Coast all day. We got No, you got to take you got to take the stuff island being here. Philly all day. That's Philly podcast. What am I Australian podcast? It depends on you. You got that lovely woman with the title to almost not look at her boobs the whole time.

57:07 We're like the We're like the Jews of the comedy series. We got kicked out of New York. We are every full year. We come in, we take all the butt wipes. We go. Yeah. We're going back to Philly. Yeah. True. Damn. You need Congress to send like 9 million butt wipes to Philadelphia. We're going to get everything. Yeah. Damn. I never thought of us as Yeah, we are. We are. Tried to go to New York. All of us got spewed out. Start telling people I can't perform on Saturdays. Sorry. You guys are Are you Jewish? No, I'm from I'm from the Philadelphia comedy scene.

57:49 I'm Orthodox. You might have heard of us. I'm Orthodox. We have to wear gym shorts at all times. We have to return, dude. We have to return to our homeland. Beaser's the only one holding it down. He's in a tunnel. Bees is definitely acidic, dude. He's ultra [ __ ] Philly comedy scene. Yeah, that's what he's doing right now for real. I can't wait to take my birth right back to Philly. Yeah true. I'm so excited. I also like LA. I was just out there special. It's really nice. I like great comedy store is [ __ ] great.

58:24 I know. I like everywhere. Everything's Yeah. I hope it doesn't devolve into an Biggie Tupac situation. I don't want to see uh I don't want to see Joe Rosa get shot in 92. He He's also a Philly. He's one of us. He migrates anyway. You see him see him in [ __ ] pictures with Tony. Like he has a [ __ ] deli, dude. He has a [ __ ] Jewish deli. [ __ ] mascara mascar in Philly. He's also Yeah. He's extreme Zionist though. is extreme. Ultra extreme. What a good time. Everyone will relax and have a good time. I really don't.

59:02 Just I'm telling you the butt wipe money is driving everyone crazy. How much are these butt people paying for podcast? You my booty too clean for them to have been in touch with me. But I You wouldn't believe. I would love your booty. No offense, dude. Your booty must be a [ __ ] You shower like every Your booty must be a goddamn dis. What's the ass like for real? Well, the ass doesn't exist. So, it's straight butthole to a Yeah. Okay. Oh, it's easy to get in for sure. Absolutely no worries. You don't shower for like 3 days.

59:32 I've become a daily habitual shower. That's what I You're going to have to Not today, obviously. But most God damn it. Before bedtime. That's what I do. I do before bedtime. You got to shower before bed. Before bedtime. Like I if I feel if my legs feel even like a dry sweat on them at all, I got to get out of bed. Shower up. Seriously, how much is the bum money? James, it's literally starting It's like oil money. Hey, just look up how much a barrel of oil is. Same [ __ ] price. Same thing. None of them will. That's one I could actually They try and get me for the I couldn't do condoms and I don't think I could do sports bed gambling.

1:00:01 Butt wipes. Butt wipes have never been in touch. I would love to. I could do erection ones. Boner pills. I would say I do like the pay ones. I've never had a problem with getting an erection, but if I did see there's butt wipes you can get. Yeah, butt wipes is obviously the biggest. I'm hearing the butt wipes everywhere. Sometimes a video game. That seems like a good You can get a video game. Careful. That's putting on the ring. Once you read one butt wipes app, one ad, dude. Why is Coca-Cola not getting involved or something? Where is it? Where's Cracker Barrel? Cracker Barrel should double pivot back.

1:00:35 I was hoping they didn't pivot so I could get another commercial. True. You wanted to be the face of I would easily do that. They I love Cracker Barrel. I would support Cracker Barrel. What? They they have like a a good I knew people who like loved Cracker Barrel and I think it was like the cheddar. They got they got some good cheddar going on there. I believe there's a Cracker Barrel right next to my house growing up. You used to hit it. Didn't hit it as much as I should have. They got biscuit. They got biscuits out there.

1:01:00 I probably went like once and it was like a 10-minute drive. There's nothing. I think I went to Cracker Barrel once as well right next to a Best Western and a pitching putt. Did you know anyone who's like who like loves Crack? I knew one person in my life who like loved Cracker Barrel. I've I've hit a Cracker Barrel on the road and been like genuinely pumped. This place is decent. Yeah. Wasn't Wasn't Cracker Barrel like a big candy? Like isn't that their front you go some hard candy up front? That's all I remember. I went there the gift shop.

1:01:24 Gift shops popping. What did they sell? [ __ ] rocking chairs. Old toys. Beautiful dresses for chasing rock candy. That's all I remember is that rock candy on the People like to put racism on Cracker Barrel and I don't like it. What was What were they racist about? I think when I used to go not as racist as Chick-fil-A. I have seen many black people waiting tables at the Cracker Barrel. That is not a racist establishment at all. Well, that's not how you say it. Yeah, that's Is that not it? Is that not cool? That would be the most black people.

1:01:52 H waiters. They're giving jobs. Yeah. And waiters kind of star of the show to be honest. Well, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say something. Well, it's okay. It's not that serious. Don't worry, dude. We're under the spotlight, though. The podcast wars. Uh but please some of these videos but wives forgive us. Never give him butt wives. Never give him buttw they give you they go in the Austin comedy scene except Shane Gillis and then they move on. They they can't Philly till I die. Dude, they don't want the [ __ ] ADL coming after them, dude.

1:02:24 They know I'm Yeah, true. I'm Exactly. I might be Netanyahu from Philly. Yeah. God damn. I was in Ardmore. That was my last job. Oh, [ __ ] Come ancestry.com connect you right to David. I did went straight to David. I did my medieval dynasty. The first player was David. Uh it'll blow over. It's a bunch of [ __ ] man. Bunch of [ __ ] [ __ ] Yeah, it's kind of embarrassing. It is. It's deeply deeply a bunch of bickering. I don't like it. We're better together. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. Stop Austin hate. That's what I think.

1:03:04 Stop Austin hate. Don't make Austin beating us up in the street, throwing us in front of [ __ ] trains and [ __ ] Stop Austin hate. Yeah, true. Who do you think's [ __ ] You think it's a uh New York comic who's been murdering everyone by Lady Bird Lake. Certain without a doubt. Seems [ __ ] immature. Mark Maron is stalking the streets at night, killing hacks. He's slaying all the hacks. He might be on Assassin's Creed just sits in the back of an open mic and goes I do respect inspire. Yeah. Yeah. I do respect being old and just being like [ __ ] hacks. Everyone sucks. They're all [ __ ] hacks. That could be the life cycle I'm in.

1:03:45 Open micer. I was sitting around going everyone everyone's a [ __ ] hack piece of [ __ ] They suck. What have you become? This is Yeah. This is what you've done since day one. Who have I called a hack? I've seen you up the back of comedy rooms. Okay. In private. Yeah. No, private. Not only in private. You're very good in public but No. Yeah, I'll be I remember the one of the first times we hung out. We were at the cellar and I was watching. I said, "This guy's good." You're like, "It's cheap. Everything he does is cheap."

1:04:08 No, I wouldn't say like that. I remember being like, "Ah, he's going to watch me at some point. I'm going to get Who was it? Blank this out." I I don't actually I couldn't I couldn't tell you. I would never throw someone under the bus like that. True. Not a brother. The name The Brotherhood will be back. The Brotherhood will be back. I trust me, bro. But you will also call it when a person is good and people dislike them in the scene, you will champion them in the reverse. You'll go that guy's actually great and you don't know what you're talking about.

1:04:34 Yeah, look at you. I walked into that. I walked right into that and I I understand. You set a trap and fell right into it. Yeah. Uh no, I if I'm sitting there saying somebody sucks on stage, it's usually cuz I'm about to go next and I'm nervous. That's a hype up for sure. Me sitting there going, "This guy [ __ ] sucks, dude. That's a [ __ ] hack." [ __ ] trash. [ __ ] that. And then I get done with my side. I'm like, you did great, man. That was [ __ ] really good. I'm really relieved right now. I'm ready to socialize.

1:05:04 I actually I want to I want to bounce it out with a positive anecdote because it was the same night that that happened. There was a comedian that you really liked that other people were [ __ ] on. And I won't say it. You got into and I I actually wanted to go home. I wanted you order the Uber and take us back, but you stood arguing for 90 minutes uh defending someone's comedic chops. Nice. Yes. Do you not remember that? I mean, you up. You had had a few. Thank you for that, by the way. No, hold on now. We'll blank it out. Who was Wow. Wow.

1:05:33 Yeah. Well, that's what Yeah. If you Come on, man. That's just hanging around the cellar. That's just table stuff, you know? True. That's just being at the table. That's nice. That's a nice Templar. That's where that kind of talk belongs, dude. You can't You can't give it out to the civilians for free, dude. No bro. You can't diffuse the legendary. So many [ __ ] assassins down here. We got No, it'll it'll cool down. Yeah, let's talk. Once they replace all of our jobs with AI, we'll chill out. Hey, man. I'm sorry about that what I said back in 2025.

1:06:03 Yeah, I've been getting the wh they've been giving me the Whimos for the first time. I still haven't been in one now. Once they crack I think they they eventually go, "Do you want one Whimo?" And if you like it, then they just Nothing but Whimos. They're the new They suck. What's good with them? I hate the Whimos. Maybe because I just live far from the city. No, I didn't get smoking smoking sigs in a way. I didn't I got I got away with that scot-free. And you're a cam, are you? That's off record. That What were you doing in the Whimo?

1:06:32 I was smoking a cigarette in the Whimo, but I didn't get in trouble. But it takes too long. Maybe I live too far away from the freight. They can't go on the highway, so it'll take you like 30 minutes to do like a 10-minute drive. How'd you smoke the cig? Opened up the window, lit it up with the mouth. Yeah, with with my butt. So you can't cuz you're on cams. They couldn't see. I'd imagine. They probably saw me. But you got to be on camera, right? They tell you you're on. We're watching you. Yeah. And if you sat I'd imagine if you sat right behind the seat up against it, you could in theory beat off in the Whimo.

1:07:07 Yeah. I mean, I guarantee a lot of people have jacked off. I was thinking it might be just like Jack Shacks. People drink beers in there. There'll be beers left in there. It seems like it's kind of just open season on this. Sounds awesome from what you're describing. It's awesome. It just takes way too long and it drives me nuts when I'm It's also weird to thank I every time I go to get I go, "Thank you." And I ah yeah I my They're like the new punch buggies for my kids. My kids see those and they're like robot car.

1:07:34 So I'm be I'm going to be honest. I'm with your kids on that. It's Yeah, dude. First couple times I saw the robot cars, I was like I'm just driving by myself. Oh. Oh [ __ ] [ __ ] robot. Look looking to verify. Nobody's driving that. No one's driving that. That's crazy. I'm gonna [ __ ] flick it. I'm gonna swerve at it. I do that all the time. I try and threaten the Whimos to see how the Whimos I threaten those [ __ ] Whimos. Sometimes they threaten you. They're not very good at driving still. Yeah. Back to Australia though.

1:08:04 What? Whimo sounds like a nice [ __ ] derogatory Australian term. Does you [ __ ] [ __ ] You [ __ ] [ __ ] Look at you. You [ __ ] [ __ ] It' be nice to take some new slurs back. Sly would be if you guys have good slurs. When I go back to V, you know, whenever I go back, I'm going to lose all my Australian things that I can say over here that no one understands. But you can do American, which I would I don't say actually. Forget that. I there's We know all the American ones sadly. Ah, yeah, you do. Whimo and Whimo is nice. Take that back. Not that I like saying that. Is that a wet back?

1:08:40 We don't call anybody that. We don't have What did you think of Who the [ __ ] you got back? is the South Park episode where they believe they have goo or what was the other one? A wet back. Yes. Terrible thing I'm told to call somebody. Yeah, you shouldn't say that. But our Latin Americans are all rich people. They flew over. We don't have any walk-in Latin Americans. We only have the the Venezuelans who walk. Yeah, we've got Do you have an appointment, sir? Every Latin American person is an aristocrat in my country. People who fled Venezuela because they were being cruel to the middle classes, they come out.

1:09:11 Really? Yeah. Huh. It's a very fancy Yeah, Venezuela is an What's the other one? There's Venezuela and um [ __ ] blanking on the name of the South American country where all the the Nazis went. Argentina. Yeah, Argentina. Buenos. Yeah. Yeah. I that's that's my way, Mo. Whenever I meet someone who's like, "Oh, they're Argentinian." And they're like white. I go, "That my wife." I'm like, "This grandfather might have been a Nazi. Don't freak out." Yeah. Yeah. I learned about that on a YouTube video. Should be cool. That's What did your grandparents do? Oh, [ __ ] They might have. I wonder if Argentina had natural honks because it's so far from the equator, but I don't know who walked there or how the civilization started down there.

1:09:52 H I never thought about their natural. They might have naturalized honks just cuz it's so far from the equator. It's like being from North America. Interesting. We didn't have any natural honks. Yeah, full honks. There were no natural honks on this atmosphere. Yeah, maybe Aryan Wanderers from way back when. True. Stuff of Nazi from 1940. Just some Aryan wanderers. Was superior. Yeah, it was their technology. Yeah, Leonel Messi is awfully white. True. Yeah, they uh dude I I I didn't read the book, but I I got it on my um whatchamacallit on my Audible and it's all about the Indo-Uropean language and how it's like it is kind of weird that English is kind of close in a way to Sanskrit and all those like Middle Eastern languages bear resemblance to English which kind of well then there's the weird there's the Finns who seem to come from no nowhere and the Hungarians they have that weird thing. My favorite is the Pacific

1:10:47 Islander people which I what about them? No one knows where they come from. I know how they keep getting on other islands, dude. They just [ __ ] wayfinders, bro. The rafts. Put your hand in the water. No, I know. But going off Moana. I mean, they were just getting on [ __ ] treeade [ __ ] canoes and going they made it to Madagascar. They made it so far. It's [ __ ] crazy, man. Impossibly far. It's [ __ ] up. When you see the raft technology, it's pretty insane. And then to just get there and go, "All right." Yeah. Fired up.

1:11:16 Let's get some Hopefully they brought a woman. Yeah, they probably had a couple couple babes. That's crazy. Way down the boat. The uh All right, let's switch over to the Patreon. That's a disgusting way to end it. I love spotlight. All right, goodbye. My wife is Samoan.

Questions about this episode

Who speaks in "Ep 574 - War of the Butt Wipes (feat. James McCann)"?

Matt McCusker (Host), Shane Gillis (Host), James McCann (Guest), Sean (Guest).

What is "Ep 574 - War of the Butt Wipes (feat. James McCann)" about?

The discussion humorously revolves around unexpected moments related to body exposure, particularly highlighting the blurring of intimate parts in media and its comedic consequences. The conversation contrasts personal body image perceptions with cultural standards, while also referencing Sigourney Weaver's portrayal in "Alien" to explore shifting standards of beauty and self-acceptance.

What is mentioned in this Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast episode?

11 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Medieval Dynasty, Notre Dame Fighting Irish, Chicago, Miami, Sigourney Weaver, Titanic. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "Ep 574 - War of the Butt Wipes (feat. James McCann)"?

The episode runs 1 h 12 min; the transcript is about 15,615 words in 133 timestamped sections.

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