Transcript

Ep 579 - Crumb & The Hutt (feat. Joe Derosa & Lemaire Lee)

From Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast · Episode page · Watch on YouTube

· 1 h 32 min · 17,502 words · 150 timestamped sections

This is the full, timestamped transcript of "Ep 579 - Crumb & The Hutt (feat. Joe Derosa & Lemaire Lee)", an episode of Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast published October 1, 2025 (1 h 32 min, about 17,502 words). It mentions 17 people, works and ideas, including United States of America, Republicus, Ken Burns, Prohibition, Better Help.

What is discussed, and when

  1. – 10:00: Republicus, United States of America, Ken Burns, Thomas Payne
  2. – 20:00: Ken Burns
  3. – 40:00: General Hap Arnold, Thomas Payne, United States of America, Valley Forge
  4. – 50:00: Better Help, Bobby Knight, World Mental Health Day, Colonial Theater
  5. – 1:30:00: Prohibition, Ken Burns
  6. – 1:31:42: Prohibition, Ari Matthew, Babe Ruth

Notable quotes from "Ep 579 - Crumb & The Hutt (feat. Joe Derosa & Lemaire Lee)"

  • You want to know? How do you think we came up with the name United States of America?
    about United States of America · at
  • Like an editorial, and he's he didn't write his real name. His pseudonym was Republicus.
    about Republicus · at
  • No, I think they said it was Thomas Payne or I think they said that might have been Republicus. They don't know who Republicus was.
    about Thomas Payne · at
  • They're two hours. I don't know if I'm allowed to say it, but I got my hands on the Ken Burns Revolutionary War. It's not out yet.
    about Ken Burns · at
  • It's it's just standard. there's nothing too It gets into Benedict Arnold, which is exciting.
    about General Hap Arnold · at
  • The best spazzes are baseball and then Bobby Knight basketball spazz.
    about Bobby Knight · at
  • Just keeps running. You're Oh [ __ ] this is an ad by BetterHelp.
    about Better Help · at
  • I watched a good PBS doc on Prohibition.
    about Prohibition · at

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

Books & papers

  • Dune — Book · 2 mentions

Companies & orgs

  • Better Help — Company · 3 mentions · first at
  • Joe Rosa Comedy — Company · 1 mention · first at
    And my special I never promised you a rose garden is on my YouTube which is Joe Rosa Comedy. Please go check that out if you haven't yet. And smash that subscribe.

Concepts & topics

Places & events

  • Valley Forge — Place · 1 mention · first at
    Do you ever eat at that restaurant in New York where Washington took his men before the B battle of Valley Forge?
  • San Francisco Punchline — Place · 1 mention · first at
    One of the best funny man. One of the best. but thank you for having me. I got the San Francisco Punchline all weekend. Two shows Friday, two shows Saturday.
  • Colonial Theater — Place · 1 mention · first at
    One other plug. cuz this is hometown Phoenixville, Pennsylvania. I'm headlining the Colonial Theater on Bridge Street December 20th for Home for the Holidays. It's called Big Christmas.

Full transcript with timestamps

The Wild Wild West. I can still swap it out if that. Yeah, it's probably it's probably less than that. Yeah, it's less. What you say? Zests. All right, let's get started. You can get a decent you get a decent Damn. One second in and you're gay. You can get a decent 85 for like 7 800 bucks. Yeah. I mean I mean you can go all the way up to three grand or whatever, but Yeah. You're talking extra on top of the 70 something. No, no, no. The 75 was only six. You get the four. You guys are on a start podcast. I'm ready, dude.

Oh, you were doing it. That was what you want to do. I'm just sitting waiting for you to talk prices. Stuck TV prices. Yeah, dude. Yeah. Fired up. You got to be Matt's gone. Matt's gone. So, uh, I just really scraping the [ __ ] No, no, I'm just joking. Happy. Look, man. Your anxiety. I know where you're at. Once you get clean and sober like me, You're a [ __ ] animal, dude. I'm sorry. You You don't drink for two days. You think you're [ __ ] living, right? Who doesn't? After 3 days, I go, I'm I'm [ __ ] fine. I go for one day. I have one healthy [ __ ] I'm like, oh, I'm fine.

Yeah. What the [ __ ] The [ __ ] was I worried about the last 30 years? I've been doing this stuff called dose. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. Supposed to help. We'll see. Dude, it does your energy. It like jacks your energy up. What does it do? I don't know. I have it. I have it. Whatever. You got to do it every day. It's a liver cleanse. And uh it's for guys who don't really want to stop drinking. Yeah dude. A supplement on Instagram where they go, "You've talked about being a booze bag a lot. We've picked that up and here's your liver health in your algorithm."

Yeah dude. I don't I don't want to stop drinking. It's too fun. Yeah. Hey, I'll tell you what. I I I got my hands on a little revolutionary ward dock. Yeah. You want to know? How do you think we came up with the name United States of America? No one even thinks about it, do they? Well, I just assumed it was a bunch of states that would be United. Yeah, but you still got to come up with a name. When you go, we're declaring independence. What the [ __ ] do we call ourselves? I feel like it was early on and you you called things what they were back then.

You weren't you weren't going to come up with a fancy name. You were going to just say this is what it is. We're It's a [ __ ] you to the king. The United States of America. I like I like that you're trying to sell that you're wrong, but I like it. I mean, I have no idea because I don't nerd out these dots. Okay. Star Wars debt, Freddy Krueger t-shirt, but no, I never even took the time to think about it. But it's not that simple. It's not just like this. You can't just be like, uh, we all agree this is what we're calling it cuz everybody has to come together and be like, what do we what is an America anyway?

You know, that's a good point, La Mer. What's a Europe? [ __ ] dude. What's in Africa, dude? I mean, you're asking the hard-hitting questions. I always thought it was named after Americ false. Yeah, the Columbus Indians thing is probably false, too. Probably that he called them Indians because he thought he was in India. Yeah, I think he knew he knew where he was. There was like a term they were called that said people of God, and it was like in I forget. I forget what it is. Spanish for you. Well, anyway, anyway, turns out, yeah, just some [ __ ] guy wrote into a local paper, the Pennsylvania Post, and said, "We should be the United States of America." It was like an editorial, and he's he didn't write his real name. His his uh pseudonym was Republicus.

Oh, [ __ ] badass Republic. Fired me up last night. Also, is there a big bigger juice on the planet? That's the juice. Writing into the paper and going, "We should call this country United States of America." Also, my name's Republicus. And the whole country was like, "Yo, United States of America is sick, dude. I bet a USA chant started." Almost like the first guy was like, "USA, USA, Republicus. You know how in the music docks they like they're like hm [ __ ] war pigs like they did that with the USA wait a minute why uh but I agree with La Mer what what does America come from if it's not the America Vaspuchcci guy I'm not sure I I think it might be America Vushi's Voltater said what I said what if Republicans was Vespooi's Voltater what does that mean Voltater it's like I know who Voltater is.

He was Yeah, he had a fake name and then, you know, he got in trouble and people say if you have a fake name, you have a Voltater. Oh okay. Yeah, I didn't know that. Sorry. That's all right. I didn't mean that. But what did you mean by what you said? Like what if uh Republicus is Vaspuchcci? No, it was Oh, it was like two 300 years later. Oh okay. So, okay. All right. All right. Yeah. Well, [ __ ] man. You live and you learn. No, I think they said it was uh Thomas Payne or uh I think they said that might have been Republicus. They don't know who Republicus was.

CPP still says it's from America. All right. But it's the feminine Latin form of Americus, which I kind of like Americus more. Yeah, I like Americus. America is good. Yeah. US on the end of a word or a name or O R. Yeah. You like some Latin. Yeah. Us. Republic. Us. Republic. Gore. Like they sound like Transformer name. Not just Yeah. Or He-Man names. Yeah. I saw this little [ __ ] shadow pig. What was going at home last night? Little rat pig. Yeah, dude. He's a shadow pig. You can't tell he's a pig cuz he's always like, "Oh, yeah."

Yeah. Uh then you go, "Oh [ __ ] he's blacked out." I guess there's no there's not like a real It's like when a British person's [ __ ] This guy's smart. Like with Guard Dog, he's always sounds like he's blacked out. Yeah. Just smoking in the corner, dude. Back to back American Spirit yellow. That's what he'd be doing. So, you can't tell. I was sober as a bird last night. Yeah. See, that's a Gardini. I was a soberman. Yeah. I You were soberman. How late were you out? I saw you like 10:30. I was just getting to the Kill Tony afterhang. It was like 10:15, 10:30 and he was walking out with his girl. I was like, "Where are you guys going?" And his girl went, "We're going to go home."

And I could see the shadow pig's eyes like wanted he wanted to stay, dude. Yeah. You hit him with one of these like, "No, that's not true. I wanted to go home." He's like, "Yeah, I'm happy to be going home, man. It was good. You know, somebody take a break. I was happy to go. We got [ __ ] up. Yeah, you guys had a good time. Yeah, we had a nice time. I had a good time. I was watching an American Revolutionary War doc. [ __ ] was tight. Don't think you understand. Well, tell me about it, man. I This is one of my favorite things about you, and I I truly do mean it. I am enamored by the fact that you truly love history and you like I wish I was something that was of use like that. I only love nerdy [ __ ] It's not really of use for me to be like republicus.

No, but it's history like like I I I only get in like I swear to God, dude. I'm not kidding. I'll get into like the He-Man mythology the way you'll get into Civil War. I It's like it's it's the kind of [ __ ] that some deep mythos, brother. Yeah, He-Man's dope as [ __ ] History is Yeah. Whatever. Yeah. I wish I liked history. I know. I wish. I know. And it tells you why we're where we're at. But uh you know what I was thinking about? You know how they think like tar and feathering is kind of funny? Wait. Like it's like a silly thing. They're like, "Oh, we tred and feathered him."

Huh. That was like a brutal No, it's horrible. Horrific. Yeah. Scolding hot tar. Like killed people. Yeah. It's like one of the worst deaths. It burned your skin off and the the feathers would fuse into your skin. [ __ ] horrific. You became a chicken. There's a There's a Thank you, Lamar. There's a uh maybe Never mind. Uh I was about I was about to I had to walk that back. I was about to be so racist. I was about to be as racist as possible. That was crazy. Uh but no, in uh you ever see John Adams? Yeah. Yeah. Back in the day, great miniseries. But they to feather a guy in that and it always stuck with me. And then I was I I watched I watched the first two episodes last night and they're two hours. I don't know if I'm allowed to say it, but I got my hands on the Ken Burns Revolutionary War. It's not out yet.

Oh nice. And my my manager sent it to me at like 10:00 and I was like, I'm watching this right now. Nice. How I watched it for 4 hours. It's [ __ ] great. Uh, so that's the doc you've been watching. Yeah. Uh, you feel like I'm not allowed to say it. You're not even You're not even allowed to say you've been watching it. You're spilling the beans of stuff that's in it, dude. You're talking about fact. Nobody knew about Republicans. I know. Republicans is nice. No one's going to watch. I mean, not there's a a lot of people that watch this that don't get down with Ken Burns.

They should. Yeah. Ken Burns is Ken Burns Vietnam was [ __ ] nice. We were talking about this. I don't remember if it was you and me or not, but what was the doc? What was like Ken Burns's Sergeant Peppers? Like what's the dock that broke him? I think it's the jazz one cuz I remember my friend Scott had the box set the the the soundtrack of that. And I just remember that Ken Burns jazz documentary was like everywhere and I was like that's the one I feel like made him. I think I mean for me it was the Civil War one, right?

Ken Burns Civil War. Ken Burns baseball is [ __ ] nice. Yeah, I heard baseball was a big one. And then his brother puts out docks too. Like one of them did Brooklyn Bridge, which is nice. What are they? What are they? The boring brothers. I mean, probably. Yeah. Probably the most boring [ __ ] guys. Just both of them sitting there in sweaters. Just looking at books. Looking at [ __ ] books. Dude, come on, man. Pick up some video games. Play the Ves and Jack off. Yeah, dude. You got to make Ken Burns the Revolutionary War the video game.

I'd be all in on that. That would be nice. What is the um what's his brother's name? I forget the uh And you also love Louis Theorough. Louis Thorough is great. Yeah. Yeah. I like him. He's a little more of a provocative documentary. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know, but my favorite one he did was the was the Courtney Love one. Did you ever see his Miami uh when he goes into super prisons? No. It's as funny as it gets. He's just in there with black dudes. They're like, "We [ __ ] we have to beat your ass." And he's like, "No, why?

What if I don't want to fight? Like, oh, you going to have to fight. We going to [ __ ] you up. He's like, but but you don't have to do that. It's pretty great. You know, the one best stocks I've ever seen. Is his new one about uh the right-wing uh No, his new one's about uh Israel Palestine. Yeah. Yeah. I haven't I haven't watched it. I heard it was pretty [ __ ] He goes deep, man. The first Scientology one I ever saw. The guy's like threatening him and [ __ ] It was crazy. Is does he interview a settler in that?

Yeah. Yeah. And she's just like fully like, "Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Not great." They were saying the whole time they're like, "They can leave or That's what the settlers were saying. You see Netanyahu where he compares himself to Hitler. He compared himself. He's Dude, I'm swearing I watched it three times. I was like, he can't be saying that." But he's like he's like they say uh you know step back step down. And he's like you don't just stand aside and say here you go you have the land. Adolf Hitler didn't do that. I was like no no no no no he couldn't. I can't rewind it. And then I looked at the caption and it was like the compares himself to Adolf Hitler. I was like holy [ __ ] I think he just did that.

Are you sure it was not AI? Cuz I've been tricked. They're getting real good at just showing a speech and changing like two words. Can you uh Gardini, can you What was he saying? Maybe he meant uh what he was trying to say was the opposite. People didn't plate Hitler like that when he was taking all the land. Doesn't sound like he said that because they're it's like they're doing the ground strike now. He's doing a lot of stuff that uh he's doing a lot of stuff. He's doing a lot of stuff. Okay. This can I say this is another Kanye was right moment.

Did you ever see the G McInness interview with Kanye? No. Where he goes he goes and Kanye's in the full black like ski mask hood thing where you can't see his face and uh Gavin goes now look he's like you know there are statistics about black people about the crime and and stuff like that. He goes but when you meet a black person you don't take those statistics into it. start with a clean slate and you judge them as a person. Do you do that with Jews? And Connie goes, "Nope." And Gavin starts laughing. He goes, "This intervention is not going well."

I think it was going right where Gavin wanted it to. Gavin loves that shirt. Exactly. Uh well, there we go. What else is going on? We're just remembering stuff we saw. I like I have a good doc to recommend. It's only 30 minutes long. Um, it's called The Quilters and it's it's No, no, listen to me. Trust me. Sound great. Trust me. All right. It's on HBO. It's like 30 minutes long. It's about a maximum security prison. And there are these level five convicts, which means level five is murder. Like, it's all the worst crimes.

And there's a quilt shop in there and they make quilts for like needy children. And they're super into it. And these guys, they got like murder, double murder, whatever. They're in the quilt shop and they're like, "Here's all our fabrics and and uh they run it like a quilt and they get so into it and the kids send them dude and they make the quilts are amazing." Kids send them what? They send them pictures of like me with and it's like, "Thank you so much. It's my favorite." And they cry, dude. Well, that's nice. It's beautiful, dude. It's beautiful.

These guys are like, "This is the only way I can give back to society for what I did." And it's crazy. I cried during it. Yeah, it's very nice. It's really nice. Yeah, maybe I'll give that a shot. You should. I got to tell you, I've been watching this Mussolini show and uh a doc or like a it's a it's it's a scripted show. Who plays the moosh? Uh I don't know. It's the some Italian guy. It was made in Italy. Okay. But of course Europe is also, you know, 10 years behind us when it comes to like on the nose [ __ ] right?

Like culturally. Yeah. Uh the last episode he's like, "I'm gonna make Italy great again." And you're like, "Oh, so Trump's a fascist." Okay, you just butt [ __ ] the whole show. Yeah. Turn off. So I'm out. Is that Is it only like one season? Is this season two? I'm not sure. I think it comes out weekly. Okay. Uh that And I was kind of excited. I mean, they make him a bumbling idiot, which yeah, I doubt he was based on what he got done. They do that a lot with with industry. Mousolini apparently was kind of a putts.

Okay. That I mean that's like the the Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But you ever see him give a speech? Oh, he's good. Swag. Yeah. Yeah. Swag out the wazoo. People give Hitler a lot of credit for speeches. Check out the moose, dude. The pauses, the [ __ ] arm crosses, the Oh, is Mussolini the guy who plucked a chicken during a meeting or I never heard of that one really? I can't remember who, but it was a story about somebody being real. You got chicken on the brain. No, that's the second chicken talk. I think you got chicken on the bra.

The uh not interracial. What is it? It is Mussolini plucking a chicken. Yeah. Nice, La Mer. It's like a metaphor or something. It's a political cartoon. Nice. Did you find anything for the movie? I can't find it. It's hard to I bet I got AIDed. God. Damn dude. But they could also be There's things you said a long time ago. It also might have been old. There was like one from 2015 where he kind of says what you said in a different way. Maybe that's what it was. I would imagine as a politician, you go out of your way to avoid saying I'm a lot like Adolf Hitler.

You think? Yeah. You'd think. I mean, that used to be a bad thing. Yeah. Yeah. Used to be rough. No, that thing about make Italy great again. That that kind of stupid [ __ ] winky thing that ruined uh Skull Island for me. Kong Skull Island. What happened there? It takes place in the 60s and the first line, a taxi pulls up in front of like I don't know, some [ __ ] the cap some some state building or something. And um and John Goodman goes there's two dudes in the back of the car and John Goodman goes, "My boy, we are entering the strangest decade of politics this country will ever see." And it was like right when Trump got and I was like, "Fuck off."

Yeah. Yeah. Like, you know, like it's just it's I I hate [ __ ] like that. I hate wing letting your politics come into the King Kong movie I'm trying to watch. Dude, American King Kong, he they ruined Godzilla for me cuz they had the running Godzilla sucked. Oh my god, dude. Godzilla Zero was [ __ ] sick. Yeah, the Japanese one. Wait, that's Yeah, that's promotion. Yeah. Yeah, that's that's classic Godzilla. I'm talking King Kong, Godzilla, Forbidden Kingdom, or whatever. If you went into that thinking that was going to be good, the bag's on you.

You're an adult man. God, uh King Kong had a Mecca arm. Godzilla was running. The whole world's in flames. It's crazy. Yeah. Once they got into that too, that like the last straw for you. That was literally the last straw. You know what? I'll [ __ ] Godzilla doesn't run, dude. When they did the like world between worlds thing where like King Kong lives in that weird other I was like, "This is idiotic." I met the kid a couple times that directed every single one of those movies. He must be stacking coin right now, man. I mean, Jesus Christ. They make like $400 million at least.

At least they got Chinese people must go nuts when they see those movies. They find huge hits in China. Matt's gone. I'll be reading on behalf of Matt. Okay, Matt. Okay. Okay. A quick break from the show for a special segment called More or Less Football Edition and it's brought to you by Prize Picks. Right. So Shane and I are going to be presented with three player picks and decide together whether we should go more or less each pick. Shane, so who's looking sharp and who's just like a pedestrian on the field? Yeah, Matt, this is what we're thinking prize picks this week. Let's choose more or less each of the following picks. AJ Brown, more or less than 55 receiving yards. I'm going more.

More. He's He's been getting He's not getting a lot of touches. He's starting to complain. They're going to force the ball to him. More than 55 yards receiving. I'll go less since you guys want more just to mix it up. Cam Scataboo. More or less than.5 rushing touchdowns. You think he's going to score or not? I love the name. I'm going to say more. I like it, too. He's got He's got a bit of a Star Wars name there. Yeah. Josh Allen. More or less. 228 passing yards. You got to go more. The guy's a gunslinger. Okay, Shane. I'm going to say I'd go less.

Last week I picked him and he went under. How about that? Wow. All right. So, that's our take. Now, it's time to lock in the doors. Prize picks. Don't just stay in your fave. Stand on business. Win real money with your best takes. Whether it's touchdown passes, receptions, take your more or less pick on their stat projections to cash in this season. Uh, here you read for Matt there. Second paragraph up. Hurry up. Yeah, it's small. It's not that easy. Don't forget to follow other prize picks players directly on the app. You can even copy their lineups in one click.

Whether it's a friend, a celebrity partner, or just someone whose picks you like. Hit the follow button and check out every lineup they create in a new feed tab on prize picks. The bag's on me. The was a great read, man. Prize picks. It's good to be right, man. And I'll tell you what I'm mad about. Bad bunnies doing the [ __ ] halftime show. That's good. Pissing me the [ __ ] up. No, of course. Of course. Who gives a [ __ ] It was very funny to me that people were upset about that. Oh, every once in a while the right the right gets it so wrong with what they're outraged. Everybody's outraged about everything obviously, but when it's like, dude, don't lose on this one.

Why? Who gives a [ __ ] I think it's because it's cuz he doesn't speak any speak English. I'm trying to watch football. you. And my point was last year's halftime show was barely uh intelligible. Maybe that was for China. Bing bop boom bing. Dude, you hate Kendrick. No, I don't hate Kendrick. Stop hating. We don't have to talk Kendrick. Didn't Shakira do the halftime show? What? Didn't Shakare do the halftime show before? Yeah. What are they mad about? I don't know. I think Jackson whipped her tits out on it. Yeah, that that [ __ ] rocked. Yeah, it was great, man. That was a pivotal moment in like American history, like for TV and stuff.

That was considered so like now it' be nothing. Yeah. Could have sworn she had a sticky over her nipple. She had like a she had it like a p it was I think it was pierced and she had this big thing like almost like a vote for me pin covering her whole nipple. You know what I mean? But it wasn't pasty. It wasn't that crazy. It wasn't that crazy. Also, why' they pretend it was like uh when they were like it was a wardrobe malfunction? Oh, I remember when they tried to lie. It was like a pose. He like ripped it off and they both went Yeah. It's wild the way they would just lie about [ __ ] It's, you know, and and just let's see if they buy it. The wardrobe malfunction.

Yeah, they bought it. Yeah. Yeah. They're going to buy it. That she got like she was like in trouble for a long time that Yeah. Was that the first live TV titty drop? I feel like But that was a uh what's that called? A thing on the nipple? The pasty. A pasty. Yeah. I mean, I remember Sable used to break those out. Sable would break out the Pacies all the time. Yeah. WWF had some nips. Yeah. Nips. The cat. Terry Reynolds. Don't get me started. Jacqueline, don't get me started. I'm going to get you start you off in there.

Trist, I think that was the first ever I think I think for Right. Yeah. Live TV chitty drop. That had to be the first one. That was a pretty big one. I remember me and my friends went nuts. In my basement, everyone just went a Were standing on the couch. We were fired up. That's when Timberlake was the man. Like, he was like, he's still awesome, but that he was like un You remind me of Timberlake. Why is that? Just like a smooth operator. Slick. You about to say something mean? No, that's it. You Yeah. Yeah. Genuine compliment.

Yeah. You remind me of Justin Timberlake. You're both smooth operators and you're slick. And I feel like you can beatbox. Uh, I can't beat box. Oh, you thought about it. I was an all right rapper. You're a good rapper. I was a decent rapper at one point. You know, I haven't done it in a long time. Sometimes I still write little rhymes in my head. I'm like, I wish I was a rapper. Give me Give me some bars. I can't remember anything right now. Well, no. And I honestly am going to try to remember something if you cuz that would be big for me.

I think everyone would happy would be very happy to hear you spit some ballers. You had a bean. I know. It still does. You still have a band? What the hell? Uh uh. Yeah. No. Yeah, still a band. Yeah. Saw some windfall. Yeah. Our new record comes out in a couple months. Oh sick dude. Yeah. Yeah. It's done. Yeah. Freaking we're going to run and do shows and stuff. That's fun, man. I I love doing that. Uh but yeah, the rapping not so much anymore. Um it's a young man's game. It's a young man's game. Young man's game.

It's it's it's a different level of commitment. Yeah. Rapping's like being a comic. It's like you have to be a rapper, you know what I mean? Like you have to it's it's an everyday thing. It's not, you know, not to say that being in a band isn't, but it's a little more it's a little more lax for whatever reason, but but there's something about rapping cuz it's a solo. It's a solo act. It's That's why I say it's like being a comic. It's like constantly. Yeah. It's a solo act. What do you got in the battle? You know what I mean?

Have you ever rap battles? Yeah, I used to do it all the time. Oh, that must have been so good. Where's that? Where can I get that footage? Holy [ __ ] We used to freestyle. We used to do freestyle battles when I was in college at parties and [ __ ] People like it. Don't you have any regrets? I would regret that so much. Why? College party. I was pretty good at it. No, people liked it. Like the party we I got chicks from doing it and stuff. It was, you know, they saw that Timberlake. They saw that Timberlake. You smooth up right now.

You want this Timberlake? Timberlake. The moose. The moose. You got to see the moose. That's my rap, dude. Timberlake the moose. That's actually a great nickname. Timberlake the moose. The uh should we talk about our new nicknames? I mean, you can try. There it is. Tried to bait me with my cuz Joe. All right. First off, you're calling me the hut. Yeah, but but explain why. But dude, the what? But dude, it's literally laid up like hut. I don't I don't Hold on, dude. That's a hut. I don't do his bidding. I do your bidding.

I said Joe I said Joe looked exactly like Salacious Crumb from Star Wars. And if you look at Salacius Crumb, especially Salacious Crumb with his legs crossed sitting and that Joe Salacious Crumb and I said, "Yeah." And I said Shane's job in the hut. And then and then he went low and called me. I'm not going low. It's not It's not a body joke. I'm just saying you're the hut, dude. Like we're hang Look at Crumb in the Hut. Tell me it's not me and Shane hanging out at a bar in the happily sit at this man's legs and drink as the crumb. Dude, just is Drosa. It's like, "Dude, you know what?

Salacious crumb underworld creature." Salacious crumb. I didn't know he had a name either. I was just like, "Dude, you look like [ __ ] Jabba's friend." And he was like, he knows Star Wars. He was like, "Oh, Slacious Chrome." As soon as you said it, I was, "Bro, you got to get that. That's us. That's nice. All right, I'll give you that. I'll give you that. That's a good one. Dude, you love just sitting up there. I'll take Hut. Playing with everybody's emotions in the room. Tony is obviously C3PO. It's not even close.

Tony might be laying, dude. Bezer's Bib Fortuna. Tony might be laying the bikini, dude. Bezer Beaser is Bib Fortuna. 100% Beaser's Bib Fortuna. 100,000%. Who's a Boba? Which one's that? He's the uh he's the one who gave Anakin. It's got to be all Jabba's Palace, though. Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. Everybody else from there out, everybody else is too cool. Yeah. It's tough not to You can't give someone a cool one. Yeah. Nobody gets to be like Boba Fett. Yeah. It's too cool. Yeah. Who's the Rancor? Is that in You know who La Mer is?

The Warthog. The Warthog Guard. No. No. La Mer's the pig guard. There's the blue dude that plays the keyboards. That's a cool one, though. No, it's not. Look up the blue uh I think. That's Yeah, it's [ __ ] cool. But look at the Can you do me a kindness and look up the uh pigard? The pig guard at Jabba's Palace. He's got a bit of bit of lame amaze in there. But that that guard's a little pushy. I don't think La Mer's very pushy. No, that's what I'm saying. He's the keyboard player. Keyboard player is very close. But the pig guard Yeah.

Let me take a look at that guard. Can't see the band plays good music. That's does have me written all over it. Who is it? I mean, I like the I tell you who I think Piggard is. I think I think that's O' Conor. Conor, you know Connor would love to shove a dude against the wall. You know who Tommy is? I know it's it's on Tatooine though. It's uh [ __ ] what's his name? Uh the guy who's like, "I don't like you." That's Tommy, dude. Just get his arm cut off right away. That's drunk [ __ ] You're like, "Fuck you, dude."

Did he say I don't like you? My friend doesn't like you either. I got the death toll on 38 systems. Yeah. Or the That's a tough one. Yeah. So Lando is Jawa. Could he be a might be a [ __ ] Jawa? Oh no. He's a Ewok, bro. No, it's got to be Tati. We got to keep it near Jaw. Jawa. All right, Tony. What you looking at? Jawas. Nate kind of looks like an Ewok a little. [ __ ] it. Yeah, that's mean. My bad. My bad. No, Nate's Nate's Warwick the Ewok or Wicked. I mean Wicked the Ewok. Yeah, [ __ ] it, dude. We'll fly you to to Jabba's Palace.

Who's uh All right, Tony's 3PO. Definitely. Who's Leia then? Can't give a hot babe. No, unless you give it to a dude. Leia is [ __ ] uh Leia is uh uh Kyla's a bad mouth chick. Chick with a bad attitude. I hear you. You excited for Red October? What's Red October? Is it a video game? Let's go. No Phils dude. Fighting Phils. Fighting Phils. Well, fill me in. You don't I don't watch sports, so we got to buy which could be a problem. The playoffs start. Oh, they're going to the playoffs. Yeah, I'll go to those games. Yeah, I'm gonna go I'm gonna go Monday.

Jesus, it's October. I'm like I'm like thinking this is like months away. No, it's September. You almost have it. It is October next week. No, it's October tomorrow. Yeah, I guess tomorrow, huh? Yeah. Jesus Christ, dude. Um, is that This is a crazy podcast. We're just just This is a regular conversation. Yeah. Do you do you want to do you want to get on to a specific topic? No, I don't give a [ __ ] at all. I feel like this is good. But I like the Star Wars. I love Star. I've been watching Everybody Loves Raymond.

Okay. That show was good, dude. Dude, I started watching it recently, too. Yeah. Air tight. Yeah. Air tight, man. It's great. Every episode I'm like, a beat, dude. How cool is Ray Romano? He's awesome. He's like the coolest. Yeah. When he whenever he comes to the cellar, it's like, god damn. Yeah. Just a [ __ ] cool. Yeah. He's sitting there. He's watching sports. He's like, who you got on this? You got the over, the under, all the I'm like, that's awesome. That's awesome. Talk about a dude that got better looking in his like 60s.

I never thought of that. Yeah, he's like I didn't sexualize him when I saw him. He's uh I sexualize everybody. That's fair. That's why That's why you're JT, dude. That's why you got that Timberlake on you. I'm the moose. Timberlake the moose, dude. You're salacious crumb. That's the crumb left. I'm the [ __ ] bio horrendous crumb, dude. The violent is slacious crumb. Yeah, but that's nobody has the juice. Like United States of America. No. No. It's that's slicious crumb. Obviously that's good juice, right? Vile horrendous. Great juice.

Yeah. No one's just like I'm going to write this down and send it to the paper and name the country. I mean it's it is it is [ __ ] wild. I want to find I'd like to find out who this Republic guy is. I think it is Thomas Payne. It's just pure speculation cuz it was just a humble man, dude. That's why he's Republicanist. He's going, I don't need any glory for this. This is for the [ __ ] republic. Yeah. But wait, how did he get in the paper? Oh, cuz Thomas pay. What other things from the dock can you reveal? Uh, it's it's just standard. Uh, there's nothing too It gets into Benedict Arnold, which is exciting.

Oh, because he was kind of the man. Okay. until he wasn't. Okay. But he was he was like a little climber though. He was good at his job, but he was a climber. Okay. So he get anytime he got passed over, he would start bitching and Yeah. Okay. But it was stuff I kind of knew already. Like he was he was the hero at Ticonderoga. Okay. So he People don't know like Yes. Uh he uh he was like a war hero. He was like a big deal before he sw before he switched sides. What was his official turncoat moment? Uh, I'm not sure. I think he sold or or gave British uh intel on how to get past West Point, the fort. I think he gave the fort up.

I could be wrong. Wow. I haven't got that far, but I remember in uh I read the book Lafayette, who was the man, too. He was like that was kind of the only time he ever saw George Washington like break down cuz Washington like liked this guy. Wow. And when he got he got to West Point and they were like, "Arnold's gone." He was just like, "Oh, he started like sobbing." He was like, "No, my boy." Something like that. That's the story I took from it. Do you ever eat at that restaurant in New York where uh Washington took his men before the B battle of Valley Forge?

No, it's in Fi. You know that you know that area of Fi where it's like the cobblestone street and there's all the bars. It's right down there, the steakhouse. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And he took his Isn't that It's so wild. Like it they Yeah. They were like They were treating it like they were like about to shoot a movie or something. Like it was this big dinner. They all get [ __ ] cocked up and then they're like, "All right, we got to go fight tomorrow." Yeah. It's It was like Yeah. this weird celebr. Yeah. Yeah. He made sure his boys all got whiskey and rum.

Well, it was rum and then everybody got a cup of their their rations where you got a cup of whiskey every day. Every soldier. Wow. And then he was like, "If the rations were low, we'll or rum at first and then we'll switch to whiskey if we run out of rum." The boys were a little They were loose, dude. Just for freedom. Fire and a couple bruskies before you go shoot some red coats. Yeah, you have to be. Also, you know, you know what fired me up? There's a part where so obviously the the revolution starts in Massachusetts and then they're trying to rally the rest of the colonies to be like, "Help us out." And then so like Virginia, that's why they get Washington cuz he was the he was a Virginia. So they want to bring the whole all the colonies in. But then when Pennsylvania and like South Carolina and North Carolina started joining in and then it's just such a like it was it was a true melting pot. You know what I

mean? But it's talking about how like just frontiersmen from Pennsylvania started rolling in and hanging out with all these New England [ __ ] right? It's like damn that's pretty sick. Yeah. And they were like these guys are a problem. They were like uh like the British were like oh [ __ ] They got the [ __ ] guys. PA was always a problem. PA was a problem. PA anybody that was like out Appalachia was where the country stopped. Okay. Like past that was like native land and there were people out there fighting. So these guys had been fighting for 40 years.

See this is the [ __ ] I wish I wish I I this is it's impressive to me that you trappers and [ __ ] and like survivalists so they knew how to live on the land like with no food and [ __ ] right? Right. So, all of a sudden, you got all these like freaks coming out of the woods and you're just some [ __ ] queer from [ __ ] London. I have a real This is a serious question. From watching all that stuff and whatever, do you feel like you have like some working knowledge of survival skills? Oh my god. No. If you got trapped in the woods.

I I I struggle with scrambled eggs. I'll tell you, you got to get a coffee maker. Somebody was like If somebody was like, "Make me pancakes." I'd be like, You could get me instant pancake mix and everything that I need and I'd be like, "This is going to be tough." Yeah. Yeah. I have no survival skills. Pancakes are tough. I could teach you how are tough, but they're tough. You know the trick to flipping a pancake? What is it? Uh when the top part is all bubbled, when you see like all the little holes in it, that's when you know it's ready to flip.

Keep that in mind. Yeah. But pancakes are tough. I like a little uh I like a little raw pancake, dude. A little cakey pancake. Mind a little batter in there. Oh, that's gross. I know it's gross. I'm not afraid to admit that. That's really gross. Shut the [ __ ] up. Thanks, man. I think you get salmonilla like that. I don't give a [ __ ] about salmon. I'll never get salmonilla. The 22 salmon drowned in 22. Dude, I'm on revolutionary war [ __ ] diet, dude. Glass of whiskey. Eat a couple [ __ ] lemons. Oh my god. Yeah, whatever I can get my hands on.

I was talking to McCann, James McCann, about the road and just hating the road. And uh Yeah, it was funny. He I talked to him about it. I don't know how you've been doing it like this. I was like, he goes Yeah. He goes He goes, you take Shane, he he's got his routine. He gets up. He has his 20 beers. He does the show. It's how you do it, dude. Yeah. Star Bleies. Look at this [ __ ] thing that La Mer got. Of course. Thanks, Gardines. It's going to be good, dude. It's You can take it. I mean, if you want, you sw it.

Nice immunity defense drink. Doesn't hurt. Doesn't hurt. Fixing. Look at this abomination. This is good. Look at that, dude. This is good. This is good stuff. Yeah. He doesn't drink coffee. He drinks uh You give him lemonade and one of those every morning and then he runs around and then he runs around. Coconut milk. It's strawberry milk. He gets the zooies after that. Strawberry coconut milk. I have to yell at him to get off the couch. You're not supposed to be up there, but that's all right. Dude, I met Sarat's away. You can lay on the couch, dude. I met Sarah Palin. She was [ __ ] cool.

I'm sure. Yeah, she was cool as hell. She's still hot. Yeah. Yeah. She's just older now, you know? Yeah. I like that [ __ ] Like I would respectfully, you know? Yeah. very much respectfully. Yeah. Yeah. She was banging, dude. Yeah. Those McCain years. She was She was so hot. Banging, dude. Yeah. She kind of blew it, right? By talking. Yeah. She [ __ ] it up real bad. I think she kind of blew it a little. It's crazy. The Republicans were like, "We need a female vice president." Dude, by the end of that by the end of that election, McCain was like like he was just like like you could you could see he was at [ __ ] JT Realm Muto when that you see that when that fat pitcher runs out of the bullpen.

It's [ __ ] incredible. And then the catcher for the Phillies sees so this big he's not that fat. He's like a chubby guy comes sprinting out of the bullpen and then the camera cuts the catcher who's standing there and he just goes and the guy's gassed. He's out of breath at the mound. He can't He can't catch his breath. He gives up a homer and they [ __ ] get him off the field. Dude, what's the clip where the guys are in where the guys are in the pen and they're yelling at the Empire's call and the coach just going, "He's a cunt."

Oh, I never saw it. He's doing the symbol. He's a cut. He's screaming it, dude. It's from like the 80s, early 90s. I'm like some that a TV camera caught that like people didn't have iPhones. There was some camera guy recording it. It was so dude baseball when they spazz. It's the best. Who is it? Is it Tommy Lord with the best whatever when he's like my ass is in the jackpot if I don't get you out of here Tommy. Tommy you know my ass is in the jackpot right now. Wait I thought you were going to talk about the radio interview one.

uh where they're like they said you might it's lord it's after a game dude it's on AM radio so it's going out live they're interviewing after a game clearly they must have lost he's in a mood and they go we heard you were going to trade so and so for Bobby Baklava or something he goes he goes let me tell you something about that [ __ ] Bobby Baklava couldn't hit [ __ ] water if he fell out of a [ __ ] boat you told me I'm going to bring you on my [ __ ] team me out of your [ __ ] M like dude it's he just loses it dude lose.

Yeah, baseball spazzes are nuts. They're the best. They lose their mind more than football. The best spazzes are baseball and then Bobby Knight basketball spazz. Bobby Knight basketball tossing a chair across the court. [ __ ] hilarious. Choking a player. White guy. It's basically white boy spazzes. True white boy rage spaz. Did you ever see the Jim Belalushi when he was on SNL when he was a cast member? Uh it's from the 80s when he's doing the the chess coach, but he's doing it like Bobby Knight, high school chess coach, and he's kicking the chairs. He's like, "Come on, you call that a rock to b."

That's awesome. Yeah, it's really funny. Yeah, Bobby was good. I think he choked a player to practice. Beast, which was great. Uh you can't choke players anymore, dude. They make You couldn't even choke players back then. They were they were really upset about it. The Yeah, the Bobby Knights things. the the the the things where he's in the press conf because he hates reporters so much. There's one where a lady asks him a question. He goes, "Well, let me tell you something." And I love speaking to a person whose job is one step below prostitution.

Yeah. It's fire at these people. That's nice. Yeah. It's the best. I think Yeah. Baseball has number one spazzes. Yeah. Why is that? It's such a soothing game and it's like they're out on the mountain. Out of nowhere, a guy's [ __ ] kicking dirt at somebody. Tommy, my ass is in a jackpot. You know, I got to [ __ ] do this. Chest to chest every time they yell. Umpire mask grab is always going [ __ ] insane dude. It's out of nowhere. I guess you're out there for [ __ ] 180 games. You're You've been gone from home for [ __ ] six months. It's August.

Yeah. Yeah. double header in Cincinnati. Yeah, you're sweating your ass off. Some amps just [ __ ] you. I got to be honest, I don't know that I've ever seen a football spaz. There's been some good ones. They've happened, I'm sure. But no, there's been some good ones. There's You get a good spaz when the uh when the reporter interviews the coach right before halftime. You know, you know how they do that? Like when the team's head of the locker room, what what difference what changes do you have to make on offense to get this thing going? The guy's just like, "The players are out there trying their [ __ ] hardest and the coaches are [ __ ] it up."

Just keeps running. You're like, "Oh [ __ ] this is an ad by BetterHelp." Oh yeah. To help with the better. Yes. October isn't just for sweet treats and scares. I like this is good writing. It's also a good time to appreciate therapists who have helped you and a loved one because if you don't know already, October 10th is World Mental Health Day. Mhm. Did you know that? I did not. All right. If you feel comfortable, give a huge thanks to a current or past therapist. How did they help you? Maybe set you in a new direction, taught you how to celebrate small wins, or provide a safe space for you to cry and unload.

I found a couple safe spaces to unload. One time I thought I had a safe space to unload. I was on this couch and somebody walked right in. Who? My my girlfriend. I had to skiad cuz I was trying to unload on the couch. I wanted to know. She could have hopped in. Well, I Well, I was crying also. I was crying and unloading. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes in prison will help you cry and unload. I'd like to point out that for me, every day is mental health day. That's good. Yeah. Thank you, La Mer. Can you give us a time that somebody taught you how to celebrate small wins and provide a safe space for you to cry and unload?

I did. We I know. Yeah, you're about to You can share. This is a good This is for better health. But with the better well uh uh the dead girlfriend, she told me that like every time you see somebody you don't know who's like nice, you got to go you got to mention it. That's it. That's all right. Life is better when you have people you actually listen who actually listen and care, not like your shitty friends. BetterHelp can help you with that. For over 12 years, they've been matching people with licensed therapists according to their ratings to help you receive. Uh BetterHelp does a great job finding those matches.

I've used it over the years. It's a good service. That's good. It's helped you a lot. The world I know. I know. This World Mental Health Day, we're celebrating the therapists who've helped millions of people like Joe to take a step forward. If you're already uh if you're ready to find the right therapist for you, BetterHelp can help you start that journey. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.comssp. That's betterhelp.commsssp. Hey folks, thanks for h You got it. Listen buddy. That's good. Thanks for having me on the show.

No, thanks for doing it, man. I know it's short notice and that's a tough seat to fill. Yeah, I know. McCusker is a good man. One of the best funny man. One of the best. Uh but thank you for having me. I uh I got the San Francisco Punchline all weekend. Two shows Friday, two shows Saturday. Come on out. Let's have some fun. Uh, and my special I never promised you a rose garden is on my YouTube which is Joe Rosa Comedy. Please go check that out if you haven't yet. And uh, smash that subscribe. I know. Don't subscribe. Also, I that uh, you remember we met at a punch line?

Well, no, we didn't meet there. I opened for you at the Philadelphia punch line and a guy spit on you in the front row. Anyway, what were you doing? We talked about it when I was when I last [ __ ] Hello every Hello everybody. It's me Lamber Optimal Noctis on October 7th and then I'm going to be in Knoxville, Tennessee October 16th and then also De Mo Iowa October 23rd and 24th. Please come hang out. Yeah, that's good stuff. Oh yeah, you know what? Also, sorry, one one other plug. Uh cuz this is hometown Phoenixville, Pennsylvania. I'm headlining the Colonial Theater on Bridge Street uh December 20th for uh Home for the Holidays. It's called Big Christmas.

Go to shanemgillis.com. I'm going to do Baltimore, Vegas, San Francisco Sacramento Tucson Phoenix Boise, Portland, and then Madison Square Garden. [ __ ] you, Nate. Let's get back to the show. Oh, man. That's awesome. I I don't watch sports at all, but I I I will frequently look up sports spazz sports meltdown. Like there it Nothing like a good Oh, wait. We talked about this last time. Nothing like a good meltdown on camera. It's We comedy ones last time. Yeah. You ever watch like Super Smash Brothers, like professional players meltdowns?

I mean, a gamer meltdowns must be number one, dude. It's crazy. They go nuts. Like one uh No, that was a Yeah, those are shooters, bro. Yeah. Those are Yeah. They're a couple pills away from pulling a trigger on someone, dude. Like, I need this. Yeah. 12-year-old kid smashing his keyboard. Zoder hit the [ __ ] meltdown on you, dude. That's how we started talking about this last night. Literally my favorite tonight. And you you you pulled out I I started trying to I don't like bringing it up. I don't like bring it up cuz Danny uh I mean I bring it up constantly, but Danny, we love you. But yeah, Dan's the best.

I got Dan so mad when we were they were playing NC. You didn't understand. You didn't understand the context. I know. We just got the game. Me it's me and him. It's our favorite thing. Like I used to go to his house and we played together. We had a dynasty. I ran offense. He ran defense. It was it was a glorious time. Uh and then the game reboots and we get it back for the first time in 10 years. So he comes to Philly to play it with me and I beat him. And you guys did like a gig like it was like Yeah, it was for EA Sports. We streamed it and it was like uh I beat him the first couple I was just killing him and then the one game he was winning the salacious crumb.

My minion comes in and starts doing my bidding. just sat on the couch next to me and was like, "Yeah, Dan." I was like, "Yeah, of course your guys can [ __ ] you guys are holding on to every block. My guys can't block for shit." And you were like, "Yeah, it does seem like uh the guys on Dan's team are better at blocking." And he was just like, "Shut the [ __ ] up." And then he blew a 14 or 17 point lead and missed an extra point and lost. Yeah. Just bad. And I said something. He went like this. He went, "D Roa." I said, "Yo, dude. Yo, yo, yo, dude.

He's a He's a number one video game spazz. Yeah, he keeps punches the table, spazzes, throws [ __ ] dude. I remember we were watching the Niners and the Eagles play. Oh, this is so good. Jay's house. No, this isn't the the hilarious. Yeah, it's not the one where he texted me and said, "If I was in the room with you right now, I'd punch you in the face." Cuz I cuz it was in the night. Dude, you don't understand sports, dude. The Ners the Ners are losing in the NFC Championship to the Eagles and this [ __ ] in the group tech's like, "Yeah, the Niners look like shit."

It was when the Niners start the fight on the field. And I go I go, "I remember when this was a game, a bunch of bums out on this field today." Was like, "If I was in the room with you, I'd punch you in the face. You're a little girl." I couldn't couldn't agree more with Dan. If Notame was losing a game and one of my friends that doesn't watch sports was like, "They suck. They're [ __ ] Oh, Jay was cracking up cuz it was it was pro his team. Yeah. But no, one time we were we were the three of us were watching. It was me, Jay, and Soder at Dan at Jay's house in New York. And um the Niners were losing and Dan was all like, "Okay, okay, man.

Okay, okay. All we got to get it back. We got to run it up the field, you know, like and then we I go, "It's not going to happen, Dan. Oh my god. They're not good enough." Sh. That's You're the crumb, dude. You're salacious. That would [ __ ] kill me. Yeah, I'd be furious. I can tell I would get dark red face immediately. If you said that, I would feel my cheeks get red and I'd be like, I don't even care. I'd give it about 5 seconds. Like, dude, shut the [ __ ] up. I get listen I swear to God that's how I get when somebody says like you know if somebody's like I remember I got that mad at Bill because because Burr said the Empire Strikes Back and Star Wars don't hold up his movies and I got as mad as you're talking at him about that and I was like you know what the [ __ ] you're talking about dude you don't you think oh you [ __ ] saw it too shut the [ __ ] up dude you don't I I like literally get that

which one's the Empire Strike back is that the second one when Han gets frozen on hot tough that's tough That's a good one. Yeah. Empire rift. Arguably number one. It ended bad. Almost inarguably number one. Hands down the best one. And I might have been best cuz what do they do? They just [ __ ] play to the sequel. Wait, what happened at the end of the second Star Wars? It just plays to the sequel. What do you mean plays to the sequel? Like it just ends. It's like a cliffhanger. Yeah. Yeah. That's awesome, though.

That's gay, dude. I saw that movie in the theater as a kid. That was torturous, dude. 75. No, 80. It came out in 80 and then I think we saw like a re, you know, when I was like five, I think. Yeah. But I was old enough to understand cuz I watched Star Wars on TV and like dude it like that cliffhanger it was it was torturous. I was like Lord of the Rings got me. I saw the first one they just walked the whole time and it [ __ ] ended. I was like it was three hours. When the next one's in [ __ ] three years, dude. I dude I never read Yeah.

I knew I read The Hobbit, but I never read the Lord of the Rings books. I thought the first book they get to Mordor and they end it and then the second movie was a different story and I was like, "Wait, what the fuck?" Like that realization of there's two more movies of them going to Mordor and I I was I was I don't know if I got this. That's kind of how I felt about Dune one. It wasn't for me. Dune ended and I was like, "Oh, you killed like one guy." Dune's all right, though. Dune 2 picks up. Uh, I didn't like the first one. I wasn't feeling the first one.

Are you excited to see uh that new Leonardo movie? It looks pretty good. The libs are loving it. So, I'm sure you're going to [ __ ] jack off to it. I'm I I was really excited about it and I hope it's good. But so far, everyone that has like been like posting about it or like hyped about it has been I agree a diehard lib. I agree that it's it's the we'll see what it is when it gets rabbed by a certain Yeah. percentage. That's how that's how movies get ruined. Yeah. Yeah. It's like that's why I went and saw Black Panther and I was like this [ __ ] blows, dude.

Everyone's just jacking off to it. It's Black James Bond. What is Black Panther? Black James Bond the whole time. No, it's not. How the [ __ ] is it James Bond? He's in He's He goes to Q, his sister. He gets all the tech and then he goes solve the mysteries. All right. I never thought of it like that. Yeah, it's just black. It's cuz of course you didn't think I think it's more like black Batman. No, Batman stinks. What the [ __ ] are you talking about? Batman [ __ ] sucks, dude. What are you talking about? Dude, I'm a Superman man. Superman rules. Batman worst. You guys love Superman over Batman.

What are we talking about? I didn't say that. He said that. Batman ruins society. Batman sucks. Superman. We need more Superman. Wait, what do you mean Batman ruins society? Dude, as soon as Batman Begins came out, everybody started being all like dark and anti-fucking moral. They're like, I'm going to do what I need to do to get where I need to be. But there's nobody doing anything. What the [ __ ] are you talking about? I'm talking about morality, bro. You think Batman Begins ruins society? Batman Begins started like a morality culturally.

How? I don't know, dude. Something about 2005 and Batman doesn't Batman isn't caring. He doesn't care. He's a He started the billionaire worship culture. Actually cares a lot. Batman doesn't give a [ __ ] bro. He sacrifices himself, dude. He doesn't sacrifice the most. He cares the most. Batman's selfish. Batman's selfish and he's a narcissist. No, he's not out standing in front of everyone flying going, "Oh, I'm Superman." No, dude. He keeps Superman Superman doesn't fly. Superman's among the people. He lives with the people.

Doesn't fly. Superman I'm sorry. Yeah. Superman isn't flying around willy-nilly. He's flying through buildings like 911 every day. He's not flying through buildings. So many 911s because real Superman doesn't fly through buildings. That's just that's just that's just the I just watched the uh the Pete Holmes did Batman fires the Justice League videos. They are the Superman one where he goes, "Let's have a toast." He fills out these glasses and they're green and he's like, "These would happen to be kryptonite ice cubes. Would they be Batman?" He goes, "No, it's Asian green tea.

He's like, "Why don't you take a sip first?" He just goes, "It's so funny." Holmes Batman are funny as [ __ ] They're really funny. The um uh La Mer, I You're You're Wow. I I don't know what you're talking about right now. Batman is the most selfless man on earth. He He He doesn't live a Playboy billionaire life. He doesn't enjoy his life because he's there for Gotham. He's given himself to the city. Gotham dude. I don't think so. At the end of the third one, he almost kills himself to save the entire city. The city would be better without Batman.

Only reason villains exist is because of Batman. I never realized, by the way, you guys know Dark Knight Returns or Rises, I mean. Yeah. I remember when I first saw it, everybody said when he when Alfred sees him in the restaurant at the end in Italy, remember Alfred goes, "I have this fantasy where I see you." Yeah. I remember when I saw the movie, everybody was like, "So, wait, does Alfred really see him or is that just like he hopes that he will one day?" And I was always like, "Well, I guess it's up for interpretation." But then I watched it again recently and I never caught the part where at the very end Morgan Freeman goes, "The autopilot doesn't work on this." And they go, "Yes, it does. It was fixed by Bruce Wayne." And I was like, "Oh, he autopiloted the ship and got out."

Yeah. I never caught that. I never caught that part. You should see Morgan Freeman's Twitter. Why? All right. What's on it? It's just nuts. Why? What's he saying? No, it's just somebody named Morgan J. Freeman that just is like ultra liberal. And I for like two years I thought it was Morgan Freeman. I was like, this guy's a [ __ ] [ __ ] Like, [ __ ] Morgan Freeman. What's he saying? Does he pretend it's not Morgan Freeman? Yeah. It's just a guy's name is Morgan J. But he's not like he's not faking. I was like, what the [ __ ] is Morgan Freeman talking about?

Do you ever read the Do you ever look on the James Woods Twitter? Yeah, I'll peep some James Woods. He goes hard. He's fired up. They'll be like, "Yeah, I guess cops are all bad, you fat peg sharpening." Like, he goes hard during Jesus Christ, man. There are Batman's, dude. James Woods. We need somebody, dude. He's the [ __ ] Cape Crusader. We need We need him in the in the shadows, man. But you know what? Maybe I am racist. Yes, dude. I wasn't going to say it. Jesus Christ, man. I'm not for Wait, did you like the new Superman movie?

Yeah, it was fun. It was nice. Superman was Superman except for the fact that he gets beat up in every scene because he Oh, here's the thing. He doesn't know who's in the suit. Superman has to temper his beat up by everybody not in the suit. The the the lizard beats him up. The [ __ ] get beat up by a lizard. The dog saves him like eight times. Yeah, he got beat up by a [ __ ] lizard. He got beat up. No, it's a giant like Godzilla thing. Superman kills that beat by a lizard. He gets knocked around. He kills that thing a little.

Superman gets knocked around, but he kill He doesn't even kill that thing without exploding it. He knocks it unconscious. Not looked Arkansas. Not looked at Notre Dame [ __ ] up Arkansas so bad they destroyed the program. Everyone got fired. Really? Yeah. Notre Dame went crazy on him. Nice. Yeah. Hey, how was that show with Notame show? It was uh it was not ideal for standup, but it was uh a dream come true. It's kind of the probably the coolest thing I've ever done. How many people? It's probably like 85,000. Jesus Christ. Not ideal for standup, but what does a laugh sound like in a in an environment like that?

Well, I didn't run into too many laughs. A lot of families, a lot of people that were very confused going, "Who the [ __ ] is this guy? When's he going to start playing whatever instrument he's supposed to play? Why is he walking around talking for 30?" Talking about a Down Syndrome coffee shop. Down syndrome and jacking off. What the [ __ ] That's so [ __ ] funny, man. Yeah. Shout out to them for letting me do that. The university. They didn't know what I was going to say but I'm sure they got some letters since then. And uh I haven't they haven't said anything to me so that's nice.

But it was more his you so you feel it was more his crowd than your crowd. It was I had a lot of people there for sure. Good. Uh I had a lot like a lot of people really it was it was cool. Good. It was cool. But there were definitely people there that had no idea who I was and did not see the billing or did see the billing and were like this must be a country singer that I've never heard of. We're just like your name does sound like a country singer. He's he's just Yeah. He's just talking for the first 10. He'll pick up something. He's probably really good. This guy's funny for a musician.

Yeah. The uh you you you have a country singer's name. Shane Gillis sounds like a country singer. I think you can do that with any name. Joe Roa. Doesn't sounds like Ponderosa. Sounds exactly like a western. Hey folks, I'm Joe Rosa. Does it have the same ring? It does. You got a country. That's what you need to get into country instead of hip-hop. Like have you thought of the bars yet? cuz I'm going to need those before the end of this desperately. Sometimes I would write lyrics uh like in my head for rappers I was a fan of.

All right, give me an example. So like I write a two short lyric in my head once. I want I was hear two short go cuz the one thing I learned about being a Mac, treat a girl bad, the dumb [ __ ] comes back. That was my two short lyrics that I wrote. It's pretty good. Yeah. You could hear two shorts saying it, couldn't you? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's nothing to be ashamed of there. Yeah, Nate's [ __ ] feeling it. Uh, not in not in a bad way, but it was way better than I thought it was going to be. Yeah, it was definitely not like great, but it was also two That's two shirts. I thought it was going to be real bad.

I thought you were possessed by two show for a second. Yeah, I actually felt like my two shirt impression wasn't that bad for a first attempt. No, it was good. I mean, you've been thinking about it for 30 years. 30 about 30. Just bouncing around in there. You finally let it out. You can move on. about 30. Do you have another one? Can you do like a Nas? Sometimes I write little raps in my head about comedians I hate and I'm like do a rap song about comedians and not look like an idiot. There's no way of doing it and not look like an idiot.

Absolute idiot. Some decent ones. Whatever. Just come out just rip everybody. Crack amigo would bury you, dude. You can't step into his lane. Cracks uh Crackco's heart. Real hard. Sag Sagalo is good, too. Sagalow is very good. Yeah, Sagalow sounds like a rapper you would like. Sagalow sounds very good. And it's serious rap. It's not funny. Yeah. Yeah, he's good. He's good. You ever think of any uh good raps? No, I'm not a rapper. That's my trait, though. Outside of standup, what what would you do creatively to express your uh your inner darkness?

It probably be in a car shop. Car shop. Playing a Yu-Gi-Oh or something. Card shop? Yeah. Playing video games in an arcade. No, no, I meant creatively. Oh, card shop. What? Card shop? You mean like a place to sell Pokémon? I thought you were making a card. If you weren't so laidback, I would think you were on Coke right now. The [ __ ] you're talking about is insane. Yeah, this is like Batman Begins drone society. I would work at a card shop. I stand on that. That's a good thing. Vaspucci was Voltater. Dude, that was good, too.

That was good, too. It's a reach. You make You say a sentence and then everyone has to wait and try to figure out what you meant and then ask you and go, "What? What? Where did that come from? What did you mean by that?" I don't know. I just tapped into my smartness. Just tapped into my smartness. You're a [ __ ] child. I don't mean to be that mean. Christ. Just having fun. We are having fun. And you're you're you're a dear friend, dude. The Star Wars trilogy, the second one, episode 1, two, and three. Better set of movies than the first four, five, six. I'll stand on that.

You think the prequels are better than the original? Like as a set of movies, like altogether? No dude. I mean, I like the prequels, but no, as soon as Palpatine goes execute Order 66, it makes all the other movies worth it. Well, no. That Sith is a I love Sith. Sith is in my top three, but but um I never gave Clone Wars a real chance. Attack of the Clones. That's what I mean. Yeah. Attack of the Clones. Attack of the Clones is it's really cool at times, but he he he went so hog wild with the CGI is nuts in it. It's a lot like that Droid Factory sequence. It's a little too much. But but hey, the whole end like once they get to that arena and like like Padme and Obi-Wan and Anakin have to fight those beasts and then the Jedi come and like it's the battle and then like and then they fight Dooku and Yoda comes out like all that shit's awesome, man.

All that shit's awesome. And then Cyius shows up at the very end. Yeah. Uh yeah, that that's awesome. But Sith rips Don't kill me. Theta, this is all good stuff. Sith [ __ ] rips and then Force Awakens rips and then they suck after that. Yeah. I haven't seen any other new Force Awakens gave me real hope. Me too. A new hope. Yeah, me too. I thought this is it. And then the Liberals struck back, man. The Liberals struck back. They said, "You can't have Star Wars." said, "You can take anything you want, but don't take Star Wars."

Yeah, but they The liberals got their greedy paws on my Star Wars. Disney snatched it back. Disney's liberal Star Wars. They're so They ruined it. They were like, "The acolyte is going to change everything. We believe in this show more than anything. We put the most money into it." Dude, it got trashed. They pulled all the acolyte merch out of the store. They were just like, "Which one was the acolyte? It was the one where there was like all the chickies. I mean, it's for the boys, dude. Star Wars is for the boys.

Here's the thing. Make it all girl Jedi show. Just make it good. Make it awesome where you're like, "This is [ __ ] great. They didn't It sucked. It sucked. Don't start. They did that whole lesbian planet." Hey, doing the pod right now. Here. You're on. My ears must been burning, bro. I know. Uh, it's good so far. It's me, Lamar, and D. Rosa. We're kind of just talking about stuff we saw. Lot of Star War a lot of Star Wars talk. Who's there? It's Musker. Oh, nice. D Roa's in your chair right now. He says it's his chair now.

Bro, he's I I advocated thrown to him immediately. Musker, I was confused when Shane texted me. I thought he was saying you needed a partner and I was like, "Okay, where are we recording then?" He's like, "My house." I was like, "Uh, okay. Well, where are you going to be?" He's like, "My house." I was like, "See, that's what I'm working with. These types of stories is what I've been working with." I mean, it's t I'm I'm trying, dude. I'm trying. You would have been pumped. I had some history stuff early. They walked all over it with uh Not true.

They went straight to Batman versus Superman, Star Wars. Not true. Uh-uh. We're going to talk about their favorite uh toys coming up here in a second. Both of them are figurine collectors. Matt, he you know, he kept saying, he kept it going. I don't even know why I have Matt here. They're going to come together. Yeah, these Yeah. Arab and black autism are uniting right now, man. He keeps saying he keeps saying McCusker who? I don't know why I bother doing this with him. He's talking a lot of [ __ ] dude. Where are you at, Matt?

I'm in New York. I I just got uh I've been doing my little podcast podcast whirlwind tour. Yeah, it's it's coming out. I'm very excited for October 7th, dude. Me, too, man. Thank you. All of our plans are going to come together. Oh, yeah. Finally, dude. Wait, it comes out on October 7th? Yeah. Matt Matt that special comes out October 7th. Holy [ __ ] It's actually I mean, it's at least Yeah, it's memorable. Yeah, it's easy. Exactly. You're not going to forget. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I remember that thing. That's That's when that comes out.

Yeah. Uh I just saw the the trailer you posted. It looks wonderful. I can't wait to see it. I can't wait to see you, dude. I can't wait to see you either. All right. I miss you. I love you. Love you guys. Miss you, bro. Bye man. I said I love you. He said I love you guys. Interesting. Uh I felt jealous. I felt jealous. I don't know that I don't I have gotten an and I love you from you before. You and me say I love you every [ __ ] night dude. But that was that was a very nice sign off and I kind of want to change our dynamic. I want to take some of the You're going to have to you're going to have to make some big changes.

I want to take So you you've had this question with me before. You go, "How come you don't talk to Matt or Soda like that?" Because they are not rotten pigs. That's not what I'm saying. all the time. That's not what I was saying. You go you don't talk [ __ ] to them like you do to me. Yes. Because they don't talk [ __ ] to me like you do to me. If I don't want war, I've seen war. But if you want war, so help me God. Somebody else will be raising your [ __ ] children. Hold on. You cut off my nice thing. I was going to say what?

And I was going to It wasn't going to be nice. It was going to be Yes, it was. It was going to be nice. I was going to say, I want to start removing some of the acidity from the relationship and start to move towards a more caring, a more endearing, a more loving dynamic. Yeah. What What are your proposals? What changes are you gonna make? What are you offering me? Other than Sounds like you're coming to the table going, Shane, you need to make some changes. No, no, no. Let's be honest. We both have some heavy lifting to do.

But I'll I'll start. Okay. I'll start. Here's how we can start. Okay. Next time we hang out. Yeah. Neither of us criticize the other one. Okay. Until the other one does it. It's a ceasefire. And I'm going to go see you started it. All right. No. Ceasefire. Cease fire. That's fair. But if you're doing something slimy or gay, I do get to say that that's slimy and gay. But hold on a second. Here's the problem. You think everything's slimy and gay. So you call out Yes, you do. You call out No. So much [ __ ] Nate. I I don't do that to you.

Wait, you don't you don't call me slimy and gay? No, I call you zesty, but that's a fun joke. You You call me slimy and gay. Why are you gay? You are slimy. Why are you When do I don't think so. If I I don't You don't really mean You don't really do too many things that I would be like, "Stop doing that." You don't mean it from the heart. I like when you I like when you goof off. You You hit me with a I can't believe you're doing this when I'm having fun. But it's because, you know, it's going to put me in my head.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, I mean like if you were And we can delete this part if we need to. But if I saw you sitting at the bar being like talking to a girl being like, "Oh, that's cool body art you have. Look at this this piece right here. I got this blah blah blah." If I'm in the bar and I see you doing that, I'm going to slime you out. Yeah, but but see, you shouldn't do that. You got to let your You got to let your friends work in the way they work. I don't like to see them work that way. No. How do you like to see your friends work?

Let let a man work. Let them techniques work and you have stepped on my techniques at times. Stepping on your techniques. Oh my god. It's so funny, dude. You know how many times I've been talking to a chick at a bar and you're you're visibly mocking me from across the room? Like visibly. Like I look, I'm all for one of the bros getting some [ __ ] but you got to do it the right way. I know how to do it. You got You know how to Yeah. All right. I know how to talk. I know how to talk. I don't like the I You do. You're very good at That's why you're very That's why you remind me of Timberlake.

The moose. You remind me of the moose, dude. Timberlake the Moose. You remind me of Timberlake the Moose. Shout out Mussolini. Justin Timberlake. Mussolini. But I guess, yeah, maybe that's on me. All right, I'll allow That's what I'm saying. I think we both got a little heavy lifting to do. I think we both It's so hard not to make fun of a guy that's like It depends how you're talking to a girl, brother. If it's like I see you laying it on thick, dude. I go, what is he doing? You just play it cool, baby. Play it cool, baby.

You This is Listen, listen. I think we both have to remove some judgment of the other man's behaviors, and I think we'll get very far. I like where we're at. I don't hate it. I like where we're at. I don't hate it. But I will say this. We've gotten ourselves into a corner of It's at a a nine and a half from the beginning of the No, it used to be. It used to be. It's not. It's not. It's not anymore. That's like 3 years ago. [ __ ] Yeah, you're right. It's chilled out. It's chilled out. Yeah. We'd have every time we'd go out, we'd have to talk on the phone two days later.

We good, dude? Yeah. I just, you know, oh, dude, you [ __ ] off. [ __ ] off, dude. You [ __ ] You You You had your share of Come on. You know the uh You know, just poking poking from the poking. You're a poker. You got little brother syndrome. Admit that you're a poker. You got a lot of little brother in you. You're poking. You got a lot of big brother in you. You poke first. You get poked. Sometimes I Sometimes I poke first. Sometimes you poke first. Admit it. Sometimes you sit on my head in the living room just right away.

Yeah. I'll tell you huge moment. Huge moment for us. This huge positive huge positive moment this year when when uh when we got a little tense on my birthday as we did last year on my birthday. You said to me, you go, "You get a little sensitive around your birthday, don't you?" And I was like, "Yeah, I do, dude. I get depressed." You got way too sensitive. That was a huge moment for me that you boss man get in your head. Listen, Voss Man was in there. Voss man in my head and me wanting to say, "Voss, shut the [ __ ] up." That's two different things. Voss is like a cheese grater after a while. And you're like, "Bro, shut up, dude."

Yeah, but it's so funny. It's He doesn't say anything mean. No, no. That's You're just like, "Vos, shut up. Shut up." Yeah. He's just having fun. He's talking about Israel for 25 minutes. That's obvious. And then he's like, for some reason with him, I don't care. When he's like, you see what they doing now? They're [ __ ] They keep hiding under the school. All right. All right. This is Vos. This is what he did when we were in uh we were in Yellow Springs. We went to this comic book. The comic book store where I bought that Boba Fett comic book.

Yeah. When I first saw it, I was in the store with Voss earlier that day and he comes up to me and he goes, he goes, "Do you the the number one Superman, the first one?" I go, "The action comics number one where he's like holding the car over his head." He's like, "Yeah." He goes, "Is that's worth money, right?" And I go, "Yeah, it's considerable money." He goes, "I I have it." And I go, "You have action. You don't have it." And he goes, "No, no, no. I swear to God." He goes, "I have it from when I was a like my dad gave it to me from what?" And he's like, "I have it?" He goes, "And I knew it was probably worth something. Like, so I kept it in decent shape, but like I don't know. I just never sold it. Do you think it's worth anything?" And I go, "Yeah, it's probably worth hundreds of thousands of dollars." And he goes, "Psych, he just never had you." And I go, "I don't give a [ __ ] if you don't have a

valuable thing." Like, what is the joke? Dude, I was doing the joke. The boss made it, baby. Boss is in here. That's an example, though, of what he'll do all day. And you're like, shut up. I I love it. I love it. I'm bringing him to Vegas. You're not getting one weekend without the Voss man. You're not getting one without Voss. Let's go, dude. The Voss man's on your ass. The Voss Man cometh. Voss dominates Dro. Yeah. Voss is also bulletproof, dude. Yeah, he's a What do you He's bulletproof. Yeah, you can make fun of him all day.

Yeah. Nothing in one ear, not the other. Just every insult, he just laughs with you. I love I love I love the boss, man. I love the boss man. We'll get you. But you know, you're wasting the slot in Vegas. Oh, the Soberman. You need to plug another degenerate into that. No. No. I've got a nice thing going on the road. I know. One degenerate, one Soberman. All right, fair enough. Yeah, I know. Tommy and Bobby Kelly. Yeah, I saw I saw you're bringing a soie in. You bring the soie in. And Jay's only going to have three beers.

Jay's going to bed at 10:00 p.m. Yeah. Yeah. Jay's going to go play his steam deck. Yeah. Yeah. Bobby's going to wear [ __ ] sunglasses, not drink. Yeah. Yeah. But then you got the Pope. The Pope. That's like having three out. The Pope mobile is flying, dude. The Pope mobile. He is. He's not stopped, dude. Dude, that's what it is. From there, that's tricky with Pope. I want the Pope mobile tonight, dude. He He just goes, Dude, he brought So, we got off the plane and went to uh the mothership. He brought a paper cup with no ice filled to the brim with tequila.

Jesus. It was like a crumbled up cup and he put it on the No one else was in the bar so they were like cleaning up and he put the paper cup on the bar and went to the bathroom and then he said he walked back in and he heard me being like well yeah he's a [ __ ] alcoholic. Wait, was this Saturday night? Uh yeah, was it we got in at like we got in at like 1:00. We just missed you guys. Dude, I left cuz I was like nothing's going on. I'm going to sit here and drink. It's good we missed everybody and just went home. Um Holy [ __ ] dude. That is so flying.

Yeah, our last I told you. Oh, this is my favorite. He got in he got in the car or we were leaving leaving the hotel and sometimes autograph people show up and I you know I'm hung over. It's the next morning like God. I get in the car. I'm like [ __ ] dude. And they're not fans. They're just people selling signatures. Yeah. And it's like Jesus. Like sometimes they'll be like See See See See See See See See See See Sean. Like all right big fan. And uh I get in the car. I'm like Jesus [ __ ] Christ. These guys suck.

And he just looks at me. goes, "God forbid somebody God forbid somebody loves you." And I was just like, "Oh, you're hammered. It's [ __ ] 11:00 a.m. dude." I was like, "You're drunk right now." And he was like, "Yeah, I got the Yeah, they I got a [ __ ] buddy." Like, the Eagles played the day the last my last Mothership show was Sunday. Yeah. And the Eagles played that day. It was Eagles Rams. The whole squad was hurting. So, dude, I I show up. I stay in all day. Tony and everybody, they're out bar hopping. They're like, "Come on, pig."

And I'm like, "I I can't, guys. I have a show." Yeah. Yeah. Tony's like, "The pig signal is in the air. Let's go, dude." And I was like, "I got a show, dude. I'll meet you an hour before. I can't bar hop with you guys." Anyway, I finally I show up at Copper Tank like an hour before the show and Pope is sitting there and I walk up. He's sitting like this and I walk up to the table and I go, "What's up, dude?" I hit him on the shoulder. He goes like this. Dude, he goes, "I don't like you." Dead. Yeah. Dead eyes. He goes, "I've been drinking since 9:00 a.m." I was like, "Oh my god, that's not good."

Went out. That was a rough one. Killed like he was sober. Killed like couldn't you couldn't tell he had one drink. Yeah, his standup is pretty uh he can do it hammered. You couldn't Yeah, it was wild. You couldn't tell he had one drink. That was a fun night though. That was Tony was hammered. I've never He's been getting It's very fun. He's like, "I just realized getting as drunk as possible is fun." I was like, "Yeah, it it rocks. Don't do it too much, but it does rock." No, we always sing this song when we see we see each other.

You should not tell anyone this, but go ahead. Oh, no. All right. Never mind. Go ahead. Do it. See, I'm trying to help you. You're you're doing I'm trying to help you. I swear. But go ahead. No, no, no. You're doing your little What was What's the song you and Tony sing when you see each other? You're doing your little I just saved you. You think I'm being a bad guy. I'm Snape right now. This whole time you thought I was against you, dude. Snape. You know I'm Snape. The Snape. Snape the hut. All right. I won't tell the song.

Please tell the song. No. No. No. I'd really like hammered. I know, but I'd like to know it now. I know. Just I because we're always like, "All right, dude. Let's chill out tomorrow night. Let's not do anything. And then we and then cut to the next night 2 a.m. like we did it again. And he goes, "Cuz we got a problem." And that's the song. We sing a song called We Got a Problem. It makes us laugh. And yeah, cut that out. Cut that out. Nope. Cut that out. Cuz we got a problem. It's funny to sing. That's going to come back to haunt you. It's funny to sing.

It's funny to sing. Well, when you're drunk, it seems very I love singing when I get drunk. Me and the boys, we had a quartet. What do you guys sing? We [ __ ] uh And if I ever uh No, it's uh Fall in Love by Shock by I can't remember. Shay, I think it's by him. Hit some uh CCR. Can you sing? Yeah. Yeah. Can you sing uh If I Ever Fall in Love again? Which one is that? The one you were just saying you sing. Oh, and if that's Casey and Jojo, though, right? Yeah. Yeah. I think I'm not sure who it is, but can you sing it?

Can you sing it as as literally as as hard as you can? No. If I'm drunk like No, but like right now, can you sing? I'm not I can't. It's a fun game to play. You try to make your boys actually sing. Yeah. That's why I half committed to the We've got a problem. I know. I would have I would have liked to hear you really sing. Don't cut that out. But cut out what I said. Cut that out. Keep them all in. Although that's funny. It's a dumb thing you do with your friend when you're drunk. And it it's it's funny to you guys, you know. It was funny and I'm excited to sing it with you.

Yeah, I bet you have a good time singing it with us. Probably will. Yeah, 10 beers will change that attitude. Usually usually in a pretty jolly mood. God damn, drinking is fun. Why does it never get old? Why does it never get old? Are you sure? He gets so old. Like you said, one, two days off and you're like, I'm Day three comes around. I go, I'm going to have a couple. Yeah, I'm going to take it easy tonight. But my point is this, like like uh like with uh mushrooms for instance, right? I had I had a bad uh trip over COVID and I was like that's it. I'm never taking mushrooms before.

People do that with alcohol that are not alcoholics. I don't get why no matter how bad of a hangover I've ever had, it never sticks. Like no, don't do this anymore. Yeah, there's hangovers. You wake up and go, "All right, [ __ ] I'm done." Yeah. You go, "I'm not going to drink for two weeks." Yeah. [ __ ] Wednesday. That's what I'm saying. Guess who just got back today? You know what I think the difference is? You know what I think the difference is? I think it's easier to quit a drug because a drug, the bad part happens during.

With booze, the bad part happens after. And that's why it's always so hard to remember that part. I if for in other words, like if I drank I also think alcohol is extremely addictive. Sure, that might be it too. But if I drank and I started having panic attacks while I was drinking, I'd be like, I'm not doing I would be terrified. You know what I mean? Like you would like a bad acid trip or something. But like the bad part of alcohol is just you feel like hell the next day sometimes. I watched a good PBS doc on Prohibition.

Yeah, it's pretty good. What did he say? Uh, the thing I never really thought of was so like women were really leading the prohibition movement. They were like we need to make alcohol illegal cuz or No, but that's what I always thought. I was thought gh just ruining a [ __ ] good time. Yeah. Turns out there's no laws back then about beating the [ __ ] out of your family or raping your wife. Okay. So these guys would come home. No, there's no laws, dude. Well, these guys would come home and just whoop their families.

Taking the booze away would make the guys less angry. I think I would the beatings after the booze was taken away. No, they these guys were coming home, dude. They they drank back then. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, they had a hard day. The food's cold, you know. And also, you're blacked out. Yeah. And you're working in a [ __ ] factory. I mean, it's, you know, jobs sucked back then. Your kids are [ __ ] I'm not justifying what they did. Sounds like it. It's a powder keg is what I'm saying. I'm justifying it. You're justifying it.

The kids are [ __ ] The wife doesn't [ __ ] do her [ __ ] You want to hit him, you know? You're blacked out. You got also too to the moon. Remember Good Fellas? Remember Good Fellas when his dad beats him up real bad cuz he's he hasn't been going to school for months. Yeah. Like imagine the rage you would have felt if you immigrated here from Ireland or Italy or wherever because you wanted to have a better life for your family and then you have a kid here all you sacrifice for and then your kid turns out to be a punk. I can't imagine the [ __ ] rage you would feel about that. You know what I mean? Like it's it's beyond disappointment.

Yeah. You know, it's beyond. You're like, I sacrificed literally everything to try to build this for you guys and you don't appreciate it. Like, you know, those that's why those guys I think drank so much. I'm not saying it's the only reason, but it's a hell of a it's a hell of a reason. Yeah. You know, but it's like you little punk. When I was your age, I had four jobs. Yeah. Yeah. But [ __ ] I mean, man, I wonder what it was like to get cocked in a bar. Like I mean, there must have been fights every night and Yeah.

Yeah, they're talking about how the bars were back then. And it was What did they say? It was just It was brutal. Yeah. It was everything you think. Just guys getting stabbed and [ __ ] Yeah. And the the amount like America drank more than every country on Earth. Like immediately like just immediately cuz it was all [ __ ] immigrants from like poor immigrants. They were just obliterated. And other like people were like this is going to ruin this country. Yeah. We took right off. Yeah. We took right off. It's good. You should check it out. Prohibition on PBS.

Is it Ken Burns? Uh, it's Ken Burns adjacent. If it's not Ken, is it Barry Burns? The the brothers. This mysterious this mysterious Ken Burns brother. Did a uh when was prohibition? The 30s, right? Or was it the 20s? It was the [ __ ] had to be right before it would have been the 20s. It's Al Capone time. Yeah. So like late 20s maybe. 20s30s. 1920. Yeah. Okay. Damn, dude. It is. I didn't know it was that long. That's crazy. But it just immediately led to gangsters and it's pretty cool. It's a cool time. There's this bar I went to the Roaring 20s and then into the Great Depression. They had to [ __ ] let the booze out during the depression. They were like, "All right, [ __ ] And by the way, dude, the depression was detox. How fun would it have been to get [ __ ] up in the roaring 20s because you had to drink at like little speak easys and secret places. You would have been fun.

Oh, that was It would have been like high school. Yeah. Chicken to the woods. I went to this one place in Worcester. It's like a pirate tavern. It's like a fire, but under it they had the Babe Ruth uh they had a prohibition like what Speak Easy. Yeah, it was Speak Easy. There was like a It was connected to the water where they would like send bottles of alcohol there and they would just pick them up for like Babe Ruth and like athletes and stuff. That's cool. Yeah. The um I like that Lair. I feel like it's Oh, [ __ ] I feel like it was like I feel like speak easys like prohibition. I feel like it was like prostitution where like there's a goddamn massage parlor every 3T. You know what's going on in a lot of these places? It's like the cops never raid them. They just operate. I feel like that's how prohibition was. You know, the term bootleger came from uh just guys who would sell booze on the street. They would just

keep like in their socks or their pants. Oh, they would have a bottle and you just go up and take a swig and then put it back in. They call them bootleggers. Now I get it. What do you think about that, fellas? Interesting stuff. My coffee thing flew over there. Sorry. That's all right. We should end this podcast. Matthew, we miss you. We love you. October 7th, Matthew's new special comes out. Also, Baltimore, there's still tickets left. Come to that show.

Questions about this episode

What is discussed in "Ep 579 - Crumb & The Hutt (feat. Joe Derosa & Lemaire Lee)"?

In order: 0:00 Republicus, United States of America, Ken Burns, Thomas Payne; 10:00 Ken Burns; 30:00 General Hap Arnold, Thomas Payne, United States of America, Valley Forge; 40:00 Better Help, Bobby Knight, World Mental Health Day, Colonial Theater; 1:20:00 Prohibition, Ken Burns; 1:30:00 Prohibition, Ari Matthew, Babe Ruth.

What is mentioned in this Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast episode?

17 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including United States of America, Republicus, Ken Burns, Prohibition, Better Help, Thomas Payne. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "Ep 579 - Crumb & The Hutt (feat. Joe Derosa & Lemaire Lee)"?

The episode runs 1 h 32 min; the transcript is about 17,502 words in 150 timestamped sections.

More from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

About this transcript: the episode's spoken words as captioned on YouTube, split into timestamped sections. Reclip.Me locates every person, work and idea in the text, keeps the time it is first named, and quotes the words around it verbatim. Last updated January 7, 2026.