Transcript

Ep 587 - PHIL (feat. Steve Gerben & Chris O'Connor)

From Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast · Episode page · Watch on YouTube

· 1 h 35 min · 20,176 words · 735 timestamped sections

This is the full, timestamped transcript of "Ep 587 - PHIL (feat. Steve Gerben & Chris O'Connor)", an episode of Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast published November 26, 2025 (1 h 35 min, about 20,176 words). It mentions 15 people, works and ideas, including Eagles, Steelers, Jordan Milada, Mechanicsburg, Paul Mooney.

What is discussed, and when

  1. – 40:00: Mechanicsburg, Paul Mooney
  2. – 50:00: Come As You Are, Prize Pick, Green Bay Packers, Paul Mooney
  3. – 1:00:00: Eagles, Steelers
  4. – 1:20:00: Eagles, Eagles Halloween, Jordan Milada
  5. – 1:30:00: Jim Brown, Gabe Davis, Jordan Milada

Notable quotes from "Ep 587 - PHIL (feat. Steve Gerben & Chris O'Connor)"

  • Tickets. I guess it sold out real quick and it's a small venue and you don't get near Mechanicsburg Harrisburg too often anymore. So, I said, I'll give, Gracie a call and see what she could do.
    about Mechanicsburg · at
  • Remember there was back when I was doing standup that I was opening for Paul Mooney. I was like the guy that opened for Paul Mooney at Helium because Yeah.
    about Paul Mooney · at
  • Whether we really want to hang out with that weird cousin again this holiday season. But on prize picks, being right can get you paid. Yep, the holidays come with so much…
    about Prize Pick · at
  • There's, a, book, called, I, think, this one's called Come As You Are. It's written to women. It's all about puns about coming. The other one's She Comes First.
    about Come As You Are · at
  • Anyhow,, so, we, saw, that, pit, Notre, Dame on Saturday and then Sunday we saw the Steelers and the Bengals play and that was you know just Wait,, was, that, that, wasn't, Flackover Rogers? That was an incredible. You were there for that?
    about Steelers · at
  • The, Eagles, are, such, a, fun, fan, base.
    about Eagles · at
  • My comfort zone, which I eternally grateful for. And like went to the Eagles Halloween thing and Oh,, man.
    about Eagles Halloween · at
  • See, what, the, difference, between, you, and Jordan Milada sing.
    about Jordan Milada · at

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

Books & papers

  • Come As You Are — Book · 2 mentions · first at
  • She Comes First — Book · 1 mention · first at
    One's called Come As You Are. It's written to women. It's all about puns about coming. The other one's She Comes First.

Companies & orgs

  • Eagles — Company · 5 mentions · first at
  • Steelers — Company · 3 mentions · first at
  • Prize Pick — Company · 2 mentions · first at
  • Green Bay Packers — Company · 1 mention · first at
    Football. This is what I'm excited about right now, guys. A ton of football on Thanksgiving. I'm focusing on the Green Bay Packers right now. I'm thinking Romeo Dubes more.
  • William Penn Omni — Company · 1 mention · first at
    Anyhow,, when, we, were, when, we, were, in Pittsburgh last week for the football games, we stayed at the William Penn Omni.

Concepts & topics

Places & events

Full transcript with timestamps

Wow. Wow. Wes. Darling,, you send me check. I, know, you. Oh,, a, terrible, song.

You're, nervous. No. You're, singing., You're, nervous., Catch your breath. You all right?

Yeah,, I'm, fine. All, right. Yeah,, we're, rocking, and, rolling., I, mean, this this is it recording?

Yeah. I'm, already, mad. Why? This, coffee, is, 3, hours, old. It's, from, Westchester.

It, is. He, doesn't, He, This, is, what, he, does. Yeah., Yeah., Which, is We'll, go, We'll, go, to, a, bar., He'll, order wings. He'll eat three wings and then have a plate of wings in front of him for three more hours till the game's over. And then they come by and they go "Do you want us to take this?" And he's like, "Yeah." [ __ ] insane.

A, lot, of, times, I'll, finish, it., This, was a situation I was my my lady even, this., It's, like, a, coffee, takes, two sips and then brings it to Harrisburg.

Well,, someone, brings, it, to, me. Someone, got, me, the, coffee. Just, drink, the, [ __ ], coffee.

I, wasn't, ready, for, it. Phil,, how, are, you?, We're, here, live, with Phil. Phil, you got talking to the mic?

I'm, doing, great. What the hell? I, knew, you'd, get, nervous, when, that, light came on.

I, didn't, even, see, the, light. Some, guys, aren't, built, for, this., Yeah, some more.

Podcasting's, tough. It, is, tough., I've, seen, it. It's, hard, work. I, don't, know, how, you, guys, I, don't, know how you do it.

Yeah. Well,, you're, sitting, next, to, the, the mayor of Westchester. I, know.

The, king. I'm, honored. You're, not. Did, you, wind, up, bringing, the, hats?, Did you have hats?

Uh,, well,, I, forgot, them. Oh,, he, forgot, the, whole, thing. You, were, going, to, dress, up, like, uh pilgrims and Indians for Thanksgiving.

It, was, a, Steve,, it, was I, agree., I, agree., Yeah,, I, was, fully against it.

Then, I, realized, Phil, wearing, a, pilgrim hat. What, do, you, do, for, Easter?

That's, where, I, got, bombing, from. Bunny, outfits. That's, where, people, ask, me, how, I, got, my comedy. Phil taught me how to bomb regularly. But you can walk through a bomb.

Uh-huh. That's, like, one, of, your, You, tell, a, bad joke and just go hilarious.

He, is, obviously. Yeah., What, what, was, the, line, that, he, had when we were in the golf tournament with Billy where he was say Billy was like uh you it's cuz you were talking in my back swing.

Yeah. And, Billy's, back, swings, really, quick. Billy, Billy, goes,, "You're, talking, to, my back swing, Phil." And Bill goes, "I'd have to be a [ __ ] auctioneer."

Oh, my, god., He, swings, so, hard and, and, the, results, are, never, any, good.

Yeah., He's, new., He's, new, to, golf. I, know., I, know., When, he, connects,, he kills it. But we're not sure where it's going, right? Yeah. Well, he's jacked. Of

course,, the, first, the, first, couple holes, Geries didn't know we were playing, a, scramble., So,, all, of a, sudden, he'd go up and play his ball and then we'd all drive up and he's like looking at us like, "What are you hitting from here for? This is my shot." And of course, we didn't have to hit after he hit cuz it was always right on the green.

Yeah,, he's, a, very, good, golfer., He, took the he took the game very seriously. A couple cart bumps at the end sent him packing.

I, hate, cart, bumps., He, I, mean, Okconor, was in there with you just going don't don't do it. Don't let him win.

He, got, out., He, got, out, of, the, cart., He was on I just turned straight for him walking.

Oh, yeah., I, asked, him, out, of, the, cart., I can't Last, thing, you, want, to, do, is, get, out, of the cart.

We, were, also, We, were, starting, to, find, it at the end. It, was, whole, 18., Yeah.

And, we, were, It, was, crunch, time, and that's when I found you. It, was, perfect.

Just, a, nightmare. No., When, the, ride, of, the, Valkyries started playing, I think it was around 60

Valkyries, playing, on, the, Bluetooth chasing Gerby's and, you, had, who?, Dan, O, with, you.

Yeah, good. I, might, have, been, by, myself, at, that point or, could, have, been, in, there.

Regardless., Yeah, we, six, hours, into, a, round, of, golf, just trying to finish strong. You came in

Well, yeah. Rattled., I, am, sorry, about, that,, Steve., I didn't No. I, felt, bad, when, you, were, very, upset.

It, did. It's, perfectly, fine. All, right. My mom noticed. Did, your, mom, noticed?

Yeah., She, was, like,, "Hey,, aren't, you going to come say hello to all the people here?" And you're like "Nope, I have to go."

Yeah,, of, course., No., Yes. No,, that's, not, really, for, me. Well,, it's, the, Gillis., It's, the, Gillis style. You guys Nobody can leave.

Every, time, you, try, and, go,, they, go, just Well, just what do you just Why, don't, you, have, one, more?

Yeah., Exactly., It's, like, you, just, got, to leave. And then the next day go, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I left. I'm sorry I left."

Yeah., Yeah. She, Your, mom, was, on, me, on, Instagram message because she was like, "Promise you'll come."

Mom, DM'd, you., What, the, [ __ ] Yeah,, we, DM, sometimes. Your, wife's, in, his, DMs.

How, do, you, do, that? Well,, how, do, I, do?, You, know, how, to, DM? You DM me. You send me.

Is, that, what, that's, called?, Like, a direct, message., Yeah. Yeah. All right., I'm, doing, those, Instagram reels. It's very nice.

Okay., What, What, kind, of, stuff, is, he sending? Uh, it was like drinking Instagram reals, which was really funny. But then he'll he'll clearly be drunk and send me like an inspirational one.

Nice. Which, is, nice. Keep, you, on, track. Yeah,, that's, how, Yeah,, we, don't, really talk much. I just get a drunk DM from my dad that's like Michael Jordan highlights. Like, hell yeah.

That'll, get I, toss, those, out, this, weekend. Yeah,, you, were, hitting, me, with, those.

Yeah., Well,, you, know,, you, got, to, find, uh inspiration during dark times. It's 400 a.m. The bar's closed.

[ __ ], it. Yeah,, maybe, it's, my, fault. But, Phil,, what's, going, on,, man?

Well,, just, starting, our, our, basketball season right now. I, think, you're, going, to, get, fired.

No,, I, can't, get, fired., I'm, a, volunteer. All, right., I, can't, get, fired., Other people have to go before they

all, these, Come, on,, man., You're, going, to fire that. No,, I, mean, too, many, rings.

Yeah,, there's, a, lot, of, stuff, up, there that we hardware. Yeah. Yep. What's, that?, Five, gold, medals, up, there.

Well,, um, two, with, Trinity,, three, with No,, I, got, three, with, Cumberland, Valley and one with Trinity as far as state titles. And that's again just coaching, helping coach kids. It, believe me, it's all the it's all the kids and the head coach. I mean, just just coach speak. You're just a humble guy. But I am

I, want, everyone, to, know, behind, closed doors, this guy's a menace. When the mic's off, he's gone. Those [ __ ] would be nothing without me.

Yeah., Right., Right., No,, it, takes, good kids to win. For sure. They make you look smart.

Yeah. Well, what's, the, hope, for, this, year?, Do, you think you got a championship?

Well,, we, we've, No,, we're, going, to, we're going to You, don't, want, to, say, that.

We're, going, to, we're, going, to, have, to work for everything. You, know,, got, a, great, uh, group, of, girls, but uh um we you know, there was a couple kids that were going to come out that played for us and now we're going to stick with another sport. So, they're not going to play basketball. and that hurts us a little bit. But, uh, the kids that we have, we're going to go with and they're great.

This, is, good, stuff. Why? Well,, I'm, sure, we, got, a, lot, of, 6A, girls bball now. We're the number one women's 6A basketball podcast.

Yeah. District, three, girls, hoops., Good, press conference. Talking, about, Phil's, press, conference. Sure,

Phil., Now,, what, do, you, say, to, those people that uh found out your dad killed a bunch of cats?

What, kind, of, question, is, that? Phil,, what, do, you, what, do, the, Costa Ricans think about this?

Don't, say, that. No,, we, can't, handle, a, press, conference. Yeah., So,, to, answer, his, question, about cats, when I was growing up, we lived out in the rural area and uh

talk, to, Steve, and, us., We, we, had, uh, you know we had a a few cats and they all got pregnant at the same time. So we had

what', you, do like, 25, kittens, running, around, and, it was just too many. And my dad put them in a box, a cardboard box and put them on the in the creek and they went down over the dam and about 3 hours later about five or six of them came walking back and he said, "Okay, you can stay." Wow.

That, was, it., The, other, ones, never, made it back or, they, said, we're, not, going, back,, you know, even though they surprised the five dumbest kittens.

Yeah., No,, those back. Maybe he'll do it again. Yeah. But didn't you say they like they were like getting the horse was stepping on them and

well, the, horse, stepped, on, one, kitten, and one, time, I, started, the, lawn, mower, and

the, kitten, crawled, under, the, lawn, mower while I went to get gas cuz it was hot in the summer and he thought that was the nice shade place.

I, didn't, know, he, was, under, there, and, I started the lawn mower. Your, dad, getting, rid, of, them, was, it, was time. They were everywhere.

They, were, They, were, a, lot a, lot, of, cats. A, lot cats. We, had, a, lot, of, cats., We, had, dogs., We Shetland pony. Um.

Oh,, nice. I, didn't, know, you, had, a, Shetland, pony. Yeah. What, is, a, Shetland, pony?

It's, a, little, adorable, tiny, pony. Yeah. What, happened, there?, Oh,, god., What happened there?

We, sold, him. Stepped, on, a, cat., We, sold, him, for stepping on a cat. We, sold, the, Shhatland., Things, got, tough. Things are tough. You got to sell a Shetland pony

right?, Oh,, we, had, a, steer, named, [ __ ] and we had him butchered. That, was, a, tough, name.

[ __ ], He, was, butchered. What, the, hell?, butchered. Yeah. How, old, were, you?, Did, you, like, all, these animals?

Not, [ __ ], Cuz, he, would, chase, He, had horns. He would chase you and you'd have to run and

Yeah., But, the, the, horse, or, the, the Shetland pony was fine. Dusty was fine.

Dusty. Dusty. What, do, you, What, do, you, get, for, a Shetland pony? I, have, no, idea.

Back, then,, 10, bucks. I, don't know., It, wasn't, much. Yeah. What, do, you, do, with, it?

Well,, we, had, a, cart, and, like, a, trotder. Oh,, okay. And, it, would, Yeah., We, would, He, would take rides with it on Sundays and stuff. There was no traffic on the road back then. Now

you, would, ride, a, Shetland, pony in, a, cart, like, a, Troder. Yeah. Yeah. That's, [ __ ], insane.

That's, fun. It, was, fun. All, right., It's, fun. Yeah. No,, I, thought, the, blinkers, on, them, or the blinders, whatever they're called and you just go down the road and and go about a mile and then come back.

Yeah. All, right., Well,, that's, fun., I, thought you were like literally using it as transportation.

No. I, was, like,, it's, crazy. Like, a, go-kart. Yeah,, that's, fun. Yeah. All right., I, take, it, back., That, rules., I wish I had a Shetland pony. That'd be nice.

Yeah. Just, go, out, for, a, Sunday, drive. I'd, need, I'd, need, a, team. I, would, need, a, team.

I, know. I, need, the, Clydes. Yeah., You, You'd, have, to, get, like, the spike like the Roman spike coming off the cart, too.

That'd, be, a, nice, DUI, on, the, back, of, a shell. Yeah., Yeah., Can, you, get, a, DUI, in, the cart?

Yeah., I, feel, like, the, Amish, get, DUIs, all the time. You, can, get, them, on, a, bike., You, can, get it walking. You can get a DUI.

Yeah., Well, well,, seriously, trust, me,, if, he's, dodging, it. All, right., Well,, they, must, not, have, been out

if, they, haven't, got, him, yet. That's, just, drunk, in, public,, right?, You can you can walk drunk.

I, think, you, can, present danger to other people while you're out there besides just drunk in public.

Yeah., Yeah., Well,, that's, you, guys., You get a little bit bigger than me. No,, I've, seen, you.

I'm, not, a, danger. You're, definitely, a, threat. You, run. That's, true., He, starts, running, and, [ __ ]

But, I'm, safer, running, than, walking. Where, are, you, running? He's, home, as, fast, as, possible.

Like,, what, is, he, running, from? That's, the, real, question. 3:00, a.m., when, you're, like,, I, need, to get out of here and sprint. There you go. Something's going on.

When, you, when, you, know, you, got, a, kind, of a long trip and you're and you're full stumble bum

you, speed, it, up. I, do, understand moving quicker when you're that drunk helps. I do know what you mean.

Yeah., Yeah,, you, you, want, like, the shortest amount of time out in the public.

Nothing, worse, than, stumbling. Yeah,, when, you, can't, stop, a, stumble. Yeah,, that's, tough.

Speed, it, up. Anyway,, Phil,, what, else, you, got, for, us? This is your big debut. People have been clamoring for this.

Yeah,, I, know, they, are., Um, I, don't, know. Uh just getting ready for the holidays here.

Yeah, I, just, closed, the, pool. Realized, I, screwed, that, up. I had like a submersible pump and I stuck it on top of, you know, the the enclosure that they put over the pool and the guy came out yesterday to close the spa down. And uh he said, "Did did you put that submersible pump on top of the the netting there?" Like, and I said, "Well, yeah." He said, "Well, the water goes right through. You've got to put the submersible pump underneath that on the step." I didn't know that. I thought, man, this thing's really working. I never saw any water on top there. Here, it's just going right into the pool the whole time.

You, got, to, get, a, podcast,, man., This, is top [ __ ] [ __ ] Wait,, how, come, you're, shutting, the, spa down? You got to keep the spa open for

You, got, to, keep, the, spa for, the, winter. I, kept, it, open, for, an, extra, month, and Joan got in at one time.

Remember, when, you, got, drunk, and, fell onto the tarp? No,, it, wasn't, that.

Uh,, you, you, were, sober. I, was, I, was, No,, but, I, wasn't, drunk, right? No. What happened is the pavers weren't down far enough and I leaned in to put the submersible pump and the pavers lifted up and I went right into the tarp and I thought, "Oh my god, this is a weird way to die. I'm just going to get engulfed with this whole thing and Joan won't even know I'm missing for a couple days." But fortunately, I crawled out. Crawled out.

Oh, my, god. I, had, to, crawl, out. But, uh, fortunately,, I, uh, crawled, out.

Yep., You, had, to, go, back, into soaking, wet., It, was, in, the, middle, of, a thunderstorm.

Oh, my, god. Yeah. But, I, made, it. Yeah., I, got, the, phone, call, immediately. My mom called me. It was like Phil fell in the pool. [ __ ] idiot. He was like I did not.

The, damn, pavers, off back. He was mad. You, got, to, get, some, cameras, out, there, in the yard just in case. That's that's great footage.

Yeah. Yeah., We, need, that. That, would, have, been, incredible. So, so, we, got, that, going, on.

Yep. Yeah., Gerby's,, how, about, you?, You're you're uh what are you up to? Well,, you, know,, we're, writing, uh, season 3.

Yeah. And, then, personally,, you, know,, single life now and uh trying to find special someone.

It's, kind, of, a, nightmare, but feels a lot like being on the pool. I'm, Uncle, Frank's.

All, right. My, dad's, brother., All, right., Frank, Uncle, Frank,, get, in, here., We're, doing, a podcast. What the hell? Yeah.

Yeah. It's, good, to, see, you. Yeah., My, squalls, upstairs. Uh,, all right., Well,, we'll, go, say, hi, to her.

Can, we, pause? Yeah., Yeah. All, right., Take, a, quick, break. Sure. Well,, I, don't, want, to, ruin, your, career.

No,, no,, no. Ruin, your, career. This, episode, is, brought, to, you, by, Aura Frames. Mhm.

The, part, the, best, part, of, the, holidays, aside from the great fooding, the gifts because be honest, we all love a good gift.

Love, a, good, gift, is, getting, to, spend, time, with, everyone. With, everyone,, getting, to, spend, time with everyone.

I, love I, love, spending, time, with, you. And, I, want, this, our, time, together, to, be so special.

True,, dude., Holiday, season,, the, holiday season. The, way, I, make, you, feel, special,

dude., around, the, holidays. Aura, frame. I, sent, Matt, an, aura, frame, stocked, with photos of he and I.

That's, awesome. And, you, know, the, perfect, gift, this, year that could be for you to share those moments. Give the gift of togetherness with or frames. It's a digital picture frame that can hold those memories and get make them come alive again.

I'd, like, to, come, alive. I, would, love, that., You, can, add, as, many photos or short videos as you want. All you need is your app and a Wi-Fi connection.

Dang., So,, as, you, keep, making, memories, you can add to the frame. You, know, what, I'd, add?

What's, that? This, memory, right, now. A, picture, of, this. Yeah., Of, us, doing, an, ad, read., Take, a picture and put it up there.

Go., Yeah. Just, be, just, a, drop, in, the, sea, of, many memories that we have.

Yes., The, high, resolution, photos., You know what makes me the most hard is the high resolution photos look like real prints

and, they, really, help, you, relive, the moment. And you can try interacting with the photo right there. So, you know, you can get any photos you want on there. brief message like, "Congrats."

Uh,, "When, all, they, want, for, Christmas, is you and everyone together, give them Aura Frames."

For, a, limited, time. Oh, my, god., Let's, get, a, picture, of, that. Oh, my, god., For, a, limited, time,, visit aura frames.com and get $45 off his bestselling Carver Matt Frames. Uh named number one by Wire Cutter. That's huge. By using promo code MSSP at checkout. That's afra. This ex exclusive Black Friday Black Friday Cyber Monday deal is their best of the year. So order it now before it ends. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout.

Terms, and, conditions, apply., I, don't think you got out of that. Yeah., All, right., Hey,, we're, back, on, the air. Hey, we're back. All right., All right., Let's, get, Let's Phil, let's get a little Let's get a little energy.

Sure., I, got, it. All, right., Remember, the, mic., You, got, to talk to the mic. Yeah. What's going on, gang?

I, don't, know. Well,, I'm, I'm, back, in, the, the, dating scene. We were talking about that. Any good dating advice?

You're, looking, at, me? Yeah., I've, been, married, for, 46, years. How'd, you, and, Joe, meet?

Uh, in, grade, school,, sixth, grade., She moved in from uh New Jersey, and I was uh you know, just started talking with her. We became good friends and uh actually uh dated her twin sister for a while.

No, way. Yeah. Make, the, switch, down. Yeah., The, old, indie. Just, wanted, to, check, things, out, a, little bit.

You, have, to, have, something, to, compare, it to, you know. Uh, but, no,, that, didn't, happen, till, later uh like eighth or ninth grade.

Did, you, ever, see, the, Seinfeld, episode about the switch? No., It's, a, roommate, switch., So, how you're dating one roommate, you want to get to the other one.

Oh, and, so, there's, a, whole, twopath., I, mean, obviously this wouldn't work in this. Christ. No, I was just saying, you know

don't, bring, that, up. So, you, broke, up, with, her, and, then, later got with

with, Joan. Yeah. Yeah. Or, she, I, think, she, broke, up, with, me. But, anyhow,

what, the, hell? Their, mom, was, a, good, cook., They, had steak every like Sunday, so I'd get down there and eat and sort of became part of the family. ride the shall

ride, the, shon, down, the, street. Oh,, but, they, had, this, dog,, this, little snouser, and I hated that dog. His name was Otto. And it it whenever I walked in that room, it would just come up and start biting my feet. And they they they would put like me in like sort of a staging area, like a waiting area for them to come down the steps or whatever. and I would hear that dog's toenails running towards me and then at the end he became blind. So as he's getting real close I would shut the pocket door and just hear his face hitting the door and and it was just I I would just sit in there and laugh and laugh. I thought it was great cuz that dog tormented me for years and finally at the end I got back to him.

Yeah,, there, you, go., You, got, revenge, on the good. Hell, yeah. Yep., That's, good, stuff.

Yeah. So,, you, guys, started, dating, in, sixth grade? No., No., That's, when, I, met

Okay. your, mother, in, sixth, grade. That's, good, stuff. Were, you, in, the, friend, zone, for, a, while?

Oh,, yeah. How, do, you, How, do, you, get, out, of, the friend zone? You, get, married.

That's, how, you, get, out, of, it. Then, you're, done, being, friends. Now, you, don't, Yeah.

Really?, That's, how, you, get, out, of, it. No,, I'm, just, kidding, about, that, to, some degree.

Yeah. Yeah. So,, Gerbin,, is, that, good, advice?, No,, not applicable. I wouldn't say it's bad advice.

You, don't, want, to, hurt, a, blind, dog. That's Phil's advice. You go. What are your advice for dating? I used to [ __ ] with this dog. All right.

Yeah., So, no., But, you're, out, there., You're, on, the apps. I'm, on, an, app.

Okay. Uh, and, yeah,, it's it's, going, well, for, you. It's, going, well, in, so, far, as, I, get, dates now. Yeah. Which is the the really sad and upsetting thing about this is like I was on the apps I don't know six years ago.

Yeah. And, nothing nothing, was, dry. Absolutely, nobody, would, go. Well,, now, they, know, you're, funny.

I, guess that's, the, tough, part, about, when, you look like us and you get on a dating app.

Yeah., Just, immediate. Oh, my, god. Right. I, tried, I, tried, a, dating, app, for, like, 24 hours once. It was the most depressing. crushes yourself.

Because, I, downloaded, because, I, was, going through a breakup and I was like, I'm I'll [ __ ] I'll show her zero for 24 hours.

[ __ ] I, I, don't, think, a, lot, of, women understand that that's men's experience on dating sites, which is zero.

Yeah. Like, I, had, a, friend,, she, was, like,, "All the guys on here are weird." I'm like "All the all? Try zero girls."

Yeah., Yeah., Yeah., That's, way, worse. Yeah. I got somebody DMing me like, "I'll show you my dick, you [ __ ] [ __ ] you." That's, at least, something., You, getting So, you feel something.

Getting, a, reaction. Yeah., This, is, You, get, on, there,, you, look like us. You get on a dating app, it's

nothing. No. So,, um, and, then, you, get, picky,, which, is, very funny. You're getting zero and you're sitting there going, "Fuck." Yeah right. Yeah, right.

Oh,, a, 10., She's, gonna, like, me, right? Yeah. She's, not., Uh,, so, now, at, least, I'm getting dates. So I'm out there and, you know, getting to take people out and

And, you're, getting, into, line, dancing. Yeah, I'm, getting, into, line, dancing., I'm really into that.

There's, a, place, by, us., Should, I, name No,, I, shouldn't. Well,, it, doesn't, matter.

Why, is, that? Go, ahead. I'm, not, going, to, do, it. They're, going, to, be, there, now.

Who? The, weird, guys. I, think, I, think, they're, going to, be there. They're there anyway.

The, weird, guys, are, going, to, be, there waiting for you to lie dance. They're already there. They've always been there.

All right,, that's, on, you. Well,, then, we'll, keep, the, name, out, of it. Even though

Yeah,, it's, going to, be, tough, to, find. It's, going, to, be, real, hard, to, find.

This, is, a, great, place., Everybody, there is so nice. The, bartenders, are, great., Uh, the bouncers and and you know, they're big fans of tires, so they're all coming like showing me how to do moves.

Yeah. Which, also,, for, the, record,, I, have nothing but support for the weird guys.

Of, course, I, don't, want, you, to, Yeah., No,, of, course. Nothing, but, support, for, the, weird, guys.

Um, but we're, weird. Yeah., So,, I, got, cowboy, boots., I, I, just went all in.

Yeah. And, uh Yeah. I, just, want, you, to, know, how, much, this sucks. I, know, you, hate, it.

I, actually, don't, hate, it, as, much, as, you think. Well I, don't, like, that, you're, practicing, line dancing in the office at Tires.

So,, that, did, happen., That I, was, telling, Joan, that, because, I, I'm typically cold.

Of, course,, my, mom, loves, it. Yeah. Oh,, that's, so, nice., She's, a, good, soul and like you know so uh typically I run really cold and the other day we were getting lunch and Chris is all bundled up and I was in a t-shirt. I was like why are you bundled up and and I was like oh of course caught that the door was closed.

Why, is, your, blood, flowing?, What, were, you doing? I was working, on, this, move, in, the, boot, scoot boogie where like you can kind of when you make a turn you hop up and click your heels.

Oh yeah., which, is, which, is, what, I, really like about line dancing, which is the improvisational aspect of it. Once you get down

you, can, be, creative. Yes. Yeah, I, like, that,, too. You, like, the, boot,, Scoot,, and, Boogie.

I, love, that, one. Yeah,, that's, fun. Yeah., Cotton, Joe. That's, a, good, one.

It's, a, [ __ ], great, song, but, it's, frowned, upon, by, the, line dancing community. Cotton eye Joe

because, it's, so, simple. Or, Yeah., I, think, it's, probably, just, It's like hack, right?

I, would, imagine, it's, hack. Yeah. Well, they, probably, have, deep, cuts, in, there. They're like, "Oh, this guy knows what he's doing."

Yeah,, I, suppose., But you, got, to, come, to, Austin,, dude. You, got, to, start, with, Cotton, Joe.

That's, all, they, That's, all, they're, doing down there. I, I've, heard., And

get, down, there, and, cut, a, rug., Find, a nice southern bell. Yeah,, I, would, love, a, southern

Texas, babe. Yeah, she'll, kiss, you. Okay, Bill,, you, don't, know, anything, about, this guy. He's a sexual

Well,, no,, of, course, I'm, a, sexual, per., Uh that that's a thing that I also had to get over is like you really are you you're meant to kiss on the first date.

What, do, you, mean? That's, like, a, thing, that, you, you're, sort of supposed to do.

On, a, hinge, on, a on, a, date, on, a, first, date, you, kiss. Yeah. Yeah. Cuz, if, like, if, you're, the, guy,, you, don't go for that. It's kind of seen as like lack of interest

and, lack, of, confidence. So, that, was, something, I, had, to, get, over. So, even, if, you, had, one, you, really, didn't want to kiss, you'd still go through with it?

No,, I, probably, wouldn't., Oh, but, you, know,, I, go, on, these, FaceTime dates beforehand.

This, is, the, thing, that, bothers I, don't, know, why, it, bothers, you. Uh, I, just, I, don't, yell, at, you, that, much right now.

No,, no,, it's, totally, fine., I, I, get, real sad about how the informality or like how or the formality of uh online dating.

Yeah. It, makes, me, sad, that, there's, no, like kids, met. There's, it's, it's, just, like, okay., And then we FaceTime and we talk to each other and then we say I'd like to meet at this time and we'll see if we like each other. I don't know.

You, got, to, do, the, FaceTime, thing, though cuz otherwise you're going out. You're shelling out

date, money, all, over, the, place. You, need, [ __ ], loaded. Boy, is, rich, as, hell,

dude., Scoot, and, boogie., He's, a, big, shot. But he's, got, a, big, belt, buckle, with, diamonds on it.

I, don't, have, a, big, belt. They, have, a, private, parking, space, for you or anything?

They, do, not, have, a, private, say, that around me. Uh the the FaceTime date works because then you very quickly can determine is this person lying via their pictures and then also do are they weird and you just so it just saves a whole bunch of like I would hate to have to be on a date and instantly know you don't want to be there and then have to like have the full drink and be like I got to go.

Yeah, that, sounds, kind, of, fun, though., Yeah, I'd love to be on a just a horrendous date that I know

and, then, you, exit. I, wouldn't., I'd, [ __ ], you, know, me., I go we're gonna be here till three.

I, know, the, bartenders,, they're, gonna stay open. We're, going, to, be, here, till, 4.

Then, you, try, to, get, an, Uber, out, of [ __ ] the Harrisburg Comedy Zone. [ __ ], 45, minutes.

We, got, to, stay. Yeah,, that's, uh, I, don't, I, don't, envy, the online dating.

It, It's, not, great., I, do, hope, to, I, mean it I shouldn't I shouldn't say it's not great. Like I've already met

Sure. Yeah., That, but, uh, I, would, like, to, meet in person and I'd need to get a little more comfortable.

Where, do, you, even, do, that? That's, line, dancing. Line, dancing, maybe. Right., Yeah.

Your, country, club. Yeah., Well,, it's, just, all, guys. It's, just, all, Jewish, men.

Is, it, all, Jewish, men? It's, not, Jewish., It, was, originally Jewish. Mother, daughter, interactions, or, anything like that?

Uh, they, had, none, of, those. Okay. Yeah. No,, it's, just, your, eyes, open., They're out there. It's just Jewish men. Is there a pool?

There's, a, pool. That's, where, you, at, the, pool. Yeah,, you, got, to, take, a, lap, around, the pool after one of your

after, a, round, of, golf. After, a, round, of, Jewish, golf, you would say it's not Jewish now. They don't It just at the time cuz

when, I, was, there,, there, was, a, big, star David on the wall. Was, there? Well,, no., In, the, window., There's, like, a wreath

in, the, for, the, pro, shop. Oh, which, is, great. Yeah., I, think, they, Well,, they, do, all, the

I, only, saw, a, store., Oh,, they, got, a Christmas tree. Well,, they, should, understand, that, Christ is king.

But, it, is, interesting, because, it, started off as a Jewish only. So all the older guys

Jewish, only. Yeah., Oh,, yeah. God, damn. Cuz, the, Cuz, they, couldn't, get, into, the other ones in the area.

Yeah., So, they, had, to, start, their, own. They, start, their, own. Sure., That's, very, common.

Yeah., And, then, So, go, ahead., What, do, you got? Nothing. What, do, you, got?

I, got, nothing. All, right., Got, something., But, the, uh, So yeah, it's just the older guys are all very Jewish.

Yeah., How, can, you, tell? Their, voices. What, do, they, sound, like? Oh, god., A, bogey., Oh, lord.

This, club, in, my, hands., It, hurts., I'll take a six. Yeah., There, you, go,, Phil., Yeah,, you're fired from your job, but [ __ ] it. It was time to retire anyway.

Getting, there., Yeah, it's, good, to, go, out, getting, fired, at your age. Yeah,

getting, fired, is, funny., For, an, old, man to get fired from his job for doing a Jewish impression on a podcast is [ __ ] hilarious.

I'll, take, a, six., Phil,, can, we, talk? We, need, you, to, come, into, the, office. You're fired.

Yeah,, but, it's, also extremely accurate. Yeah. Yeah. Well,, how, about, your, Thanksgiving?, You were talking a little bit about your

some, of, your, participants. I don't want to I, don't, want, to, throw, anybody., You're nuts on here.

What?, You're, crazy, on, here. I, want, to, know. No,, you, I, mean,, you, can

I'd, prefer, not, to. Yeah,, that's, one, eye. I'm, I'm, happy, to, throw, myself, under, the bus for anything.

No,, no,, no,, no., That's, That's, one, That should be off limits. Hopefully,, we, get, some, of, that,, though. I'd love some political fighting at Thanksgiving.

Well,, we, got, the, participants., I'm, down to do it. I, love, it. I, love, it.

Yep. We'll, get, you, going, and, then we, got, both, sides. We, do, have, a, nice, mix.

Yep. I, like, though,, but, everyone, drinks, so everyone really gets out of pocket at at night.

Okay. I, had, a, nice, battle, with, my, my, uncle, and my aunt one year. It was wonderful.

But, it, feels, like, everybody, would, be very communicative. Like it wouldn't be passive aggressive. It would just be aggressive.

Well,, it's, just, Yeah,, it's, pretty aggressive. What happened is this is Jones.

Okay., But, again,, they're, gonna, hear this. Well,, they, can, hear, it,, but, but, uh, so she she and Shane are going after each other on the on the political stuff, you know, and all of a sudden, you know this is after like three or four hours of drinking and this is three or four hours after the Thanksgiving meal. And Shane is arguing with her, talking, and all of a sudden he starts talking like Trump and she's like a dog. Like she turns her head like she's trying to understand like is is this really Trump talking? Like she's all screwed up. It was hilarious. It was hilarious.

Yeah,, it, was, fun, to, argue, with, her, as Trump while she was hammered on wine. Yeah.

Like, she, was, like, "Shut up. I'm going to get a little quiet piggy at Thanksgiving." At the table. At the table. Quiet piggy.

That'll, be, chaos., You, should, gify, it. You should just have like little cards.

Yeah. Around, the, house. Yeah. Hot, button, issues. Yeah., I'll, find, it, myself, and, go,, "Oh, yeah. Ukraine.

You, love, that." Bottom, of, every, glass, is, just Yeah. Uhhuh. That'd, be, nice., Me, and, Chris, got, in., We had a nice political debate again.

Same, one. Yeah. Same, one. That's, what, we, do., We, go, out., We, hang out for hours.

Then, fifth, hour, in,, we, go,, "You, you suck." and just have a political debate about illegal immigration for four hours.

Yeah. And, we, were, with, the, other, writers, on the show on tires and, like, he, he, was, I, I, mean, I, hate, to, I don't even want to say what you said to me.

It, was, so, hurtful., He, he's, he, went, low and, I, went, high I went back with I'll beat the [ __ ] out of you.

Obviously, I, would, never, hit, him, and, he knows that. But the people we're with were all like, "Oh my god, what are these guys doing? Smoke. say some [ __ ] like that to me. I'll [ __ ] punch you in the [ __ ] mouth, dude. The whole staff left.

Well,, just, a, bunch, of, drunk, guys, are like, "Shame." Yeah., Yeah. That's, That's, been, tough, trying, to, have like [ __ ] heartto-he hearts with people.

Yeah. Someone, just, comes, up, like,, "Dude, what's up?" I'm like, "What's up, man? I'm good."

Yeah., We, also, didn't, even, notice, that they left. I feel like we were arguing for like 20 minutes. Everybody [ __ ] left. [ __ ] losers. They don't want to have fun like us. I was saying I I truly think I understand what uh like hot women go through now given my daily experience. Like when we go out, I don't know how Shane takes it. Not that again it's not that

they're, all, staring, at, my, jokes. It's not that I'm not like unbelievably grateful for people to be fans of the show and all that and want to meet and take pictures, but then once they get to a level of intoxication, they're just like, "Don't leave you."

You, should, have, seen, the, squad, we assembled at Ryan. I'm, sure and, they're, right, here.

We, had, a, rough, squad. Yeah. It, was, a, girl. Okay. So,, they're, the, they're, the, ones, that are like, "This is a problem."

Okay. Like, a, guy,, you, can, be, like,, "Dude,, get the [ __ ] out of here." Right. if they're if they're like hammered and being like rude. This was a girl that was just like

kept, taking, her, phone, out, and, sticking it in my face and she's like, "Come on make a [ __ ]

Tik, Tok, with, me.", And, I, was, like,, "You got to stop." And then Chris kept taking her phone and dropping it in the other booth and she was like, "Oh man."

I, was, like,, "Chris,, stop., Stop." That, is, Yeah., The, women, are, sometimes the most aggressive. Like the the one that was

They, love, pretending, they, don't, know what they're doing. Okay., You, know,

but, anyway,, it's, just, something, that, I you get that experience of like when I when I was working out at the gym, which I had to stop doing because it's just like guys would come up.

Guys,, yeah, we're, in, a, conversation, I, can't, get, out of. Yeah. You, know,, uh, there, was

you're, equating, that, to, being, a, hot chick. You, go, to, a, bar, and, having, everybody

everybody, in, your, face, and, whatever. But, no,, hot, chicks, are, Yeah,, they, got, it worse. It's 100% the whole time, right? every that's outside of the bar

right? Walking, down, the, street, and, your friend's dad is going 13, and, a, guy's, [ __ ], staring, at, your test,

right? That's, that's, Yeah,, that's, weird. It's, just, a, totally, different, reality. The worst if I don't get it that much but if I'm so like if I'm hung over as hell

Oh,, yeah. unshowerered,, stinky,, just, trying, to, get grab a coffee, just trying to slip and slip.

And, the, business, is, like,, "Hey,, can, we get a picture of you for our Instagram page?" You're like "Yeah, [ __ ] it." Yeah.

Just, the, worst., They, have, it, on, the, wall next time you're there. Dark red face like

Yeah. Oh, [ __ ] You're, so, gracious, about, it. I, don't, know, how, people, are, not.

You, have, to, be, right. It's, not, that, you, have, to, be., It's, just what other What are you, a [ __ ] psycho?

Yeah. Somebody, comes, up, and, they're, like,, I'm big fan of tires. Yeah. Can, we, get, a, picture?, It's, like absolutely.

Of, course., Yeah. That's, awesome., You, know,, it's, weird, to me when people say no, but maybe maybe I'll get there.

I, don't, know., I, think I, don't, think, I, will., I, don't, I, don't be, there, already.

I, don't, like, Yeah. Yeah., Saying, no, would, like, ruin, my night. I'd, feel, so, bad.

Yeah. Yeah. Anyway,, Phil,, how, do, you, handle, it? Because now you're a big man.

No. Oh,, yeah., You, are., You're, tossing, out tickets left and right to all my shows.

No,, I, can't, get, rid, of, them. I can't get rid you. That's crazy to do that and then be like, I not selling

today., You, gave, out, six, tickets, to, this. I'm, going, to, tonight. Why, I, can't, give, tickets, to, my, friends?

Your, friends, are, already, They, already know you're they they know what you're like and seen you and hang out with you. These are some other people that are nice people and they went to buy tickets.

Talking, to, the, mic., Talking, to, the, mic. Yeah. So,, they, didn't, have, a, chance, to, buy tickets. I mean, I guess it sold out real quick and it's a small venue and you don't get near Mechanicsburg Harrisburg too often anymore. So, I said, uh, I'll give, uh, Gracie a call and see what she could do.

Expanding, the, fan, base. Yeah. Yeah. He's, not, He's, giving, out, tickets, to, guys from the local bar.

That's, all, he, does., There's, [ __ ], five of these guys at every show. They're in my green room.

Yeah. I, get, I, get, done, with, the, show, and, I, go, "Those are the guys from Mechanicsburg."

But, he's, got, to, be, able, to, do, that. That's community stuff, right? If, it's, if, it's, a, huge, If, it's, a, big venue, I'm all for it. Right.

Tonight's, like, a, 150, 200, seats. Yeah. That's, a, lot. I, said, I, said, put, them, in, the, back, or have them stand. That's that's what I said to Grace.

Yeah. They, just, wanted, to, get, in, you, know. Yeah., Well,, that's, all, right., I, I appreciate what you said.

Do, they, get, fired, up, getting, into, the show? Huh? Do, they, get, fired, up, when, they, get, into his

friends?, They, don't, give, a, [ __ ] They, don't. They, come, to, the, show,, they, go,, "Yeah, it was good." No, they take all my beard.

They, like, it., They, like, it. Then, they, take, all, my, beard, and, that's how I knew you were back on the booze by the way.

Did, I, tell, you, that? Uhuh. Uh I, think, it, might, have, been, Pittsburgh, or something. Some of your boys from the bar

were, at, the, show., And, I, was, They, were like, "How's your dad doing?" And I was like "He's good. He's he lost a lot of weight." That's, you know, whatever. That's in the past now. But

yeah, that, was, quick, turnaround,, dude. Yeah. You, lost, a, weight, class. You, lost, it., Yeah., You, went, down., you fought middleweight for for a week and then

Yeah,, I, was, getting, beat, up, so, I, went back up. Heavyweight,, but, uh, No,, I, I, was, like, "It's good. He's he's healthy and he's not drinking, which is great." And they were like, "We were at the bar with him last night." I was like, "That motherfucker."

No,, I, didn't, I, didn't, uh, I, didn't, have, a a drink for overund and some days.

Whoa. After, my, surgery., Yeah. Yeah., I, didn't, even, want, to, drink, it. Nothing.

But, things, change. It's, football, season. Yeah., Football, season., Pretty, soon, it'll be NBA's coming on and you know

and, then, you, know, and, there's, no, sports on where the [ __ ] were we going to watch.

That's, my, problem., Like, if, I, could, take time off of it I go I don't even need this and then I have it one night and I go why every single night now.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But, anyhow sucks. Kind, of, a, spectrum, on, this, couch.

That's, the, spectrum. Yeah., We, had, a, threeame, stretch. Me, and, Chris, had, a, nice, road, trip, three days straight. Yeah

that, was, tough., I'm, Yeah,, I'm, regretting I'm regretting this Tuesday night.

We're, going, to, have, a, couple, drinks tonight. But Friday, Friday, was, wonderful.

Saturday, was, wonderful. Saturday, was, wonderful, but, Sunday, was Sunday, was, the, one, you, should, have skipped.

Sunday, was, definitely, one, we, should, have skipped. And we knew from the start

Yeah. that, it, was, exactly, where, it, was, going to go. And we kept talking to ourselves like, "All right, we're not going to drink. We're going to just get lunch."

Yeah., Then, we're, we, leave, lunch, and, it's like, "All right, let's go to the [ __ ] pub. We'll have two and watch the first half of the game, then I got to leave. I got to train the catch.

Three, beers, and, we, go., I'm, starting, to feel like myself again." Yeah., It, was, a, good, night, though.

Four., Yeah., Four, of, the, dice, cast. Four, of, the, dice., It's, It's, out, of, our hands.

Yeah. There's, nothing, we, can, do. Going, down, the, road., Yeah. Yeah., Well,, that's, kind, of, pathetic, and sad, but [ __ ] it. What's not?

It, was, nice, at, the, time. It, was, great bringing, people, out, to, a, show., I remember there was uh back back when I was doing standup that I was opening for Paul Mooney. I was like the guy that opened for Paul Mooney at Helium because Yeah.

And, he's, so, funny. Yeah. Yeah., He's, awesome. He, He, is, He's, Yeah., I, would, He's, not somebody I would like go back and listen to that much.

Yeah. You, Yeah., I'd, like, I, like, his appearances though on like radio and like he's just bothering people

right?, And, it, worked, on, me., The, first couple times I heard him, I was like "This [ __ ] racist." Like, it worked on me. I was like "This guy [ __ ] hates white people." And then you get older and you realize he's literally just [ __ ] with people. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure he didn't like white people, but it's funny.

Yeah., I, mean, anyway,, you, were like, me, enough, to, bring, me, back., Uh, but, so, there, was, a, hairdresser, that, I liked, so I had invited her out

to, the, Paul, Mooney, show. Yeah., And, I, didn't, know, too, much, about him. And then she brought a guy which was

pretty, horrible., And, then, he, uh, I, I forget exactly what he screamed but he would like literally scream during the show. You're a [ __ ] racist.

And, then, he, got Yeah., Yeah. I, can, get, you. So, it, was, like, kind, of, a, double, whammy on me that night.

Yeah. Did, you, ever, speak, to, her, again? Uh, I, don't, recall., It's, been, so, long.

That, does, suck, though., You, invited, a girl to your show. What a [ __ ] guy.

Yeah., That's, that's, that's, wrong. Yeah. But, I, also, did, it, all, wrong., I, mean,, I should have, you know, I've tried to basically

You're, trying, I, tried, to, be, like, hang out with her for a while, you know, like go get my haircut for a year and then be like, "Oh, try to come to a show

as, opposed, to, just, like, you, got, to, go right for it." Yeah., It's, funny, when, you, start, doing standup. That is

like, I, was, like, not, excited, to, tell people, but I would drop that. You, know what, I, mean?

That, you're, doing, I, can, imagine, just getting a haircut from a cute girl and just being like

"Yeah,, I, got, a, show, tonight., Of, course. Like,, what, do, you, do?, It's, like,, I'm, a stand-up comedian. Not a big deal.

When, she, comes, to, the, show,, I, just, bomb. Yeah. You, got, to, use, it. Yeah.

It's, hot., If, it, goes, well, it's, hot., It's I, hate, the, way, you, talk. It's, also, It's, also

He, says, he, calls, things, sexy., He, thinks I, can't, help, it., That's, my, vernacular.

I, I, got, you, satisfied, customers, about that. You stop, with, the, satisfied, customers. God, he has a book about how to go down on women. He reads Yeah, he reads it.

Jesus. Why, do, you, need, instructions? Well,, hold, on., I, don't, want, to, hear my be part of this at all. What do you mean?

No,, hold, on., Enough., Let's, not, talk about Phil saying he's Shut, the, [ __ ], up., I, know.

Hold, on, a, second., Hold, on, a, second., Shut the [ __ ] up. Your dad eats [ __ ] Your dad eats [ __ ] ass up, dude.

I, don't, know. Daddy's, [ __ ], ass, up, for, sure. I, don't, think, so. I, don't, think, so.

Phil, doesn't, shut, the, [ __ ], up. What, the, hell, are, you, talking, about?, He wouldn't be like, "Who needs a book?"

Any, single, guy,, any, single, guy, going, "Ew, you read a book." The, book, now, the, worst, is, the, red lighting.

Hold, on, a, second. His, lighting,, Phil., He, changes, his bedroom lighting to red. it. Okay, hold on.

On, his, phone,, he, goes,, "Alexa,, make, it Chinatown. Chinatown." Hold, on., Chinatown.

Oh,, hold, on., Now, is, that, [ __ ], nuts? Breathe, heavy., Hold, on, a, second.

The, The, red, lights, is, a, real, thing. However, they're not like auxiliary lights that I'm setting up. Like, don't get mad about it. People do. You could literally Google it that it's a thing.

And, plays, techno. No,, I, don't, play, techno. You, told, me, you, played, techno., I, said, I would like to I tried it once. It doesn't work. Hold on.

We're, going, to, go playing, Techno. Yes. It's, [ __ ], crazy. It, is., I, agree, with, that.

It's, so, crazy. I, agree, that, doesn't, work, cuz, the, what, I found that, scares, the, [ __ ], out, of, them.

[ __ ], hinge, date, and, you, go,, "Aly, make it Chinatown." Don't, do, that. Hey, Siri,, could, you, put, 9, in, nails? That's [ __ ] crazy.

All right,, hang, on., I, don't, do, a, whole Let's just, because, you're, like, a, sweater, golf guy.

Well,, that, so, I, think, that a, little, freak, in, there. Yes. And, you, like, that., You, think, that's sexy?

I, do. You, like, 50, Shades, of, Gray. Hold, on., Let's, go, back, for, a, second., Did you ever play any Mottown?

I, haven't, played, Mottown. Chris,, thank, you. I'll, give, you, that., It's, very, funny., No.

But, my, dad, and, and, you, are, fans, of Mottown. I, definitely, am. We'll come back to it.

So,, I'd, be, doing, the, same. The, techno, music. I, I, tried, one, time., I, told, you, that, it doesn't work because the the buildup it it

doesn't, work, because, the, or, the, techno the, techno. Yeah., Yeah., Yeah. Cuz, it's, it's, you, know,, love, making, is like a story unfolding. This is like playing. Tell you what, I'm putting out some short stories.

A, lot, of, hy, go, and, I'm, done. That's five. Right. We're going to take a quick break from the show now because we've got something for the sports lovers out there. This is a special segment called More or Less, and it's brought to you by Prize Picks. You and I make decisions every day. Like right now, we're all thinking about what to buy for whom and whether we really want to hang out with that weird cousin again this holiday season. But on prize picks, being right can get you paid. Yep, the holidays come with so much sports action. And on prize picks, whether you're a football fan, a basketball fan, or a fan of both like me, it always feels good to be right.

Now, let's get into this. Who's looking good, and who is on the sports naughty list, right, now., All right,, please, begin with your picks. And they said, "Make sure these players are playing this week." Obviously, there's a ton of football. This is what I'm excited about right now, guys. A ton of football on Thanksgiving. I'm focusing on the Green Bay Packers right now. Um, I'm thinking Romeo Dubes more. But then you have Matthew Golden and I'm going less. Same name as me. That's not a good sign. Um, who else do we have here?

Luke Musgrave. More. I'm thinking more for old Luke Musgrave for sure. Um, then we have Jordan Love. And I mean, let's be honest, guys, less. Um, so yeah those are my picks personally. You can disagree. That's fine. That's what I love about sports is just guys can come together and, you know, talk about stuff like this. But that's where I'm coming from. So I'd love to hear your guys' drop some comments below about your comments about who's going to be more or who's going to be less cuz you know, this is the sports naughty list right now.

Okay, so that's our take. Now, it's time to lock in yours. And what better time because new feature alert prize picks now has early payouts. And if your lineup gets off to a hot start, you may now have the option to cash out those winnings before the game even finishes. Download the app today and use code drenched to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup. That's code drenched to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup. Price picks. It's good to be right. Uh, so anyway, I

Where, did, you, get, that, that, love, making is like a story because it has to be in one of your books.

Yeah., Yeah. Jesus. There's, a, book, called, uh, I, think, this one's called Come As You Are. It's written to women. It's all about puns about coming. The other one's She Comes First.

Yeah,, I, know. I'm, not, naming, them,, Shane., I'm, looking at Reddit and asking Reddit what are good books about love making or you know whatever this and then they they

that's, where, you, want, to, go, for, sex tips. Why, not? The, guys, from, Reddit

those, [ __ ], hounds, on, Reddit. So uh what's the what's the come as you are is like written for women that struggle uh with you know orud

are, there, testimonials, in, the I, didn't, think, the, conversation, was heading in that direction or I really wouldn't be participating.

I, understand, that's, just, what, he, does. Well, then, I'll, that's, what, I, do.

Keep, going, though., What, are, you, doing? No. Then well, I don't want to make him feel uncomfortable, but that's kind of the whole point of

I, Yeah,, I'm, not, going, to, be, staying, that much longer, but uh anyhow,, when, we, were, when, we, were, in Pittsburgh last week for the for the football games, we stayed at the William Penn Omni.

Nice. And, they, put, us, up, in, this, suite, cuz friends of ours had a connection. It was fantastic.

It, was, a, good, subject. It, really, was., A, nice, hotel and, what, it, Oh,, the, William, Pen, Omni, is beautiful. old historic hotel downtown Pittsburgh.

Um,, and, what, had, happened, is, they, have what's called the governor's suite and they convert it to the Santa suite in November and the first night we were there, November 14th. We walk in and there's all kinds Everything is Santa. They got his boots laying there.

Oh,, that's, nice. They, got, gingerbread, men, out., They've got shower curtains changed, everything. The bed sheets and there's two extra common rooms. So there was like 2,000 square feet of hotel that we had for three nights at the Omni and it was it was fantastic.

Yeah. I, just, wanted, to, get, away, from, what, he was talking about. That's, fine.

What, he, was, talking, about, I, get, it., He he says him and he he is open about this stuff.

You, read, a, lot. I, well, about, certain, he, he's, at, fault. It is fun though.

What, are, you, looking, at, me, for?, He's, the one he's the instigator. Is, he?

Yes. He, lit, the, fuse. Yeah. He, made, you, an, offer., You, I, regretted the fuse.

I, also, regretted, the, fuse., You just, didn't, regret, it. Yeah,, that's, not, what, I, want.

I, would, like, to, stay, in, a, Santa, hotel room, though. That'd be that'd be nice.

It's, unbelievable. How, big, were, the, boots? Um, the, actually, the, guy, the, guy, that, was uh taking our luggage out actually thought we left the boots like they were ours. So, he brings the boots down to put them in the car. I said, "Buddy, no. That's part of that's part of the room. They're not mine. They're Santa's."

Yeah., You, saw, the, pit, Notre, Dame, game. What did you think of that, Phil?

Um,, I, thought,, uh, was, Hunter, able, to, say, what's, up, to, you? Who? Hunter, Bivven.

I, didn't, see, him, there. Okay. I, didn't, see, him, there., I You, told, me, to, get, the, word, out, that, you were there.

Yeah,, I, was, looking, for, him., I, didn't see him. I saw Phil, acts, like, he's, not, like, a gloryhound.

He's, a, complete, glory, hound. No,, we, had You, guys, have, a, lot, in, common., It's

No,, my, my, my, friend, set, set, us, up, with great seats right behind the Notre Dame bench on the 40 45 yd line. We were three rows from the from the the wall.

Phil, text, me., He, goes,, "Let, let, them know I'm here. Let, the, world, know."

They're, nice, guys. Hunter, Hunter, would, have, said,, "What's up?" Yeah., And, I, saw, Ron, Paulus, and, some, of the other guys, but I didn't have a chance to say hello. They probably wouldn't know me.

They, would, know, you., They'd, remember, you from the commercial. Anyhow,, so, we, saw, that, uh, pit, Notre, Dame on Saturday and then Sunday we saw the Steelers and the Bengals play and that was uh you know just

Wait,, was, that, that, wasn't, Flackover Rogers? That was an incredible. You were there for that?

Yeah. Oh,, that's, awesome. Yeah., Yeah., But, Rogers, got, hurt and, then, the, uh, the, other, guy, came, in and he did a great job. But uh that was fun. I was I was amazed, truthfully, at how much support those Steeler fans give that team. Yeah.

I, mean,, that, stadium,, they, are, 100%, for the Steelers and they cheer every play. And even though, you know, people may not like this or that, they support that team. I I would love to play for the Steelers after. I mean, seriously, as far as an NFL team, I would love to go to Pittsburgh and play for the Steelers. They really do a great job with them.

So, I've, never, I've, always, wanted, to, see, a game in that stadium. I've never seen a game in this.

I, don't, think, I've, ever, seen, the Steelers play. Yeah. How, about, that? Yep.

Yeah., I, don't, think, I, have, either. We, got, to, get, out, there. Those, are, the, best, fan, bases,, though.

Yeah,, they, are., They're, small, town. Cincinnati's, got, a, good, fan, base. Buffalo Green Bay.

Buffalo's, great. Yeah, the, Eagles, are, great. Eagles, are, great. The, Eagles, are, such, a, fun, fan, base.

They're, like, an, evil, version, of, the Bills Mafia. Evil. They, really, are., They're, just, the [ __ ] devil.

No, it's, fun, though. Yeah,, they, they, sort, of, had, a, a, thuggish reputation, the Eagles fans.

Yeah,, it's, fun., Yeah., But, I, think they're getting away from that because they raise ticket prices so much that some of the

the, riffs some, of the, outside, they're, outside. They're not going in. Yeah., No.

Yeah. I, went, there, once, I, went, there, saw, the Eagles NerS a few years ago. I had I I went into the game. I had $9 to my name. I bought a Bud Light. It was nine bucks. I was the [ __ ] zero dollars. I don't I went with uh it was Big Jay and Soder and they were like, "Do you want to come to this game with us?" And I was like, "Yeah, [ __ ] yeah." And uh they were like "Here, we got you tickets. You can't sit. We don't have any more with us. You're up in the I was up in the nosebleleeds with Big Jay's sister and brother-in-law. Just me and them. Freezing. It was cold and rainy. I got one beer. I was like "Well,

yeah. Down, to, zero, dollars., I, don't, know how I'm getting back to West Philly."

Unreal. Yeah., And, I, always, I've, told, this, story a thousand times, but when you were overdrafting Chipotle I

love, how, you, say, it. What? Chipotle. Oh,, Chipotle., Yeah. Overdrafting, Chipotle, for, sure.

Yep. But, I, mean,, the, reason, I, brought, that, up is because the the Riff Rafter is still outside., Some, of my, buddies, are, like

Philly, trash, and, they, were, out, there. They're snorting [ __ ] off their dashboard. Their

tailgate, was, like,, "Let's, snort, Oxies." Oh, god. No, thanks. Yeah,, they're, getting, after, it., Couple pain pills in the parking lot.

Oh, my, god., cry, if, I, had, to, be, around, if I had to. I'll, tell, you, what,, I, wasn't, too comfortable.

Yeah. Watching, guys, snort, pain, pills. Go, Eagles, right?, You, know, what's, going, to, happen? Game's not for two hours.

You're, going, to, get, tired., You're, going to not feel your body and go into Exfinity Live and try to fight someone.

Ride, the, bull., Just, get, knocked, off, the bull. Yeah. Yeah., That's, No,, they're, still, there. They're not going anywhere.

Yeah. Yeah., Yeah,, it's, tough, getting, back, to your car. There's, a, new, class, of, plumbers, snorting pills out there.

Uh-huh. Waiting, for, somebody, in, another, jersey. The, [ __ ], is, that? Jeez. Well, no. It was a great weekend though. Was

that's, good., What, do, you, got, next,, Phil? What's going on? What do you got on the docket? I know your knee is bothering you. I might I might send you down to Austin and get some stem cells in there.

I, took, a, shot, of, cortisone, yesterday. It's helping me. It's helping. Yeah., Takes, a, while.

Steve's, got, arthritis. Yeah. Do, you I, haven't, gotten, cortisone, yet,, though, because it's apparently only so many you can get of those.

Well,, at, my, age,, they, can, Yeah. give, me, one, every, week. Load, it, up.

Yeah. Uh, but, yeah,, I, definitely, noticed, a difference. And she said it could take two or three days before you really notice a difference. And she said sometimes it'll last for couple weeks sometimes a couple months, and sometimes several years. M

depends, on, the, individual., They, don't really know how to Yeah. to, determine, that., So,

the, science, is, out. Yeah. How, about, uh, would, you, get, stem, cells? I, don't, know, what, the, [ __ ], they, do,, but

Yeah., Well,, I'd, have, to, do, some, research on it. Um I, I, don't, know. Yeah., If, your, knees, [ __ ], work,, right?

I, I, think, they, work. No, idea. These, guys, are, good, at, the, people, in Austin are the people who did uh Rogers Achilles.

Oh,, yeah. Yeah. We, get, you, in, there. Whoa. Yeah. Yeah., I, don't, know, what, it, does., I, mean, right now, the the guy that I had a torn meniscus, he operated on it and then said there's a lot of arthritis in there.

So, funny, if, I, sent, Phil, down, there., They just kill him stem cells. We don't know what the [ __ ] this [ __ ] does.

No,, I, want, him, right, away. It, it, it it, never, really, improved, my knee. It did briefly, but in the last two months, it's just been killing me. And plus, I'm coaching basketball, so I'm walking on it all the time. Even driving the car, I mean, I can't if if it's positioned incorrectly, it just pain shooting through my knee. Wakes me up at night constantly. I can't I have to

Oh,, that's, really, terrible. It, It, sucks., It, really, does., So,, that's why I took the cortisone shot. I do have a an appointment in December with a surgeon.

Remember, the, mic? Into, the, mic., Yes. It's, not, my, voice, carriage. Some, guys, aren't, for, show, biz,, Phil.

I, think, I'm, getting, like, a, hip, thing., I think we get I get like a hip pointer.

I, think, you, and, me, are, drinking, and that's, what, I'm, saying., I, think, you drank my way into a sports injury.

Fall, asleep. Yeah. I'll, wake, up, with, just, a, dead, arm. Just, passed, out, on, it., Yeah., [ __ ]

That, happened, a, couple, times, in, my, 20s. Woken up. Oh,, you're, falling, asleep, on, your, arm.

Yeah., And, woke, up, with, like, the, deadest arms I've ever felt in my life and was just like, "This has to be permanent."

Yeah. This, has, to, be, a, permanent, injury. There's got to be like nerve damage. Phil, last time I was here, you were [ __ ] hammered.

When? Seriously, that's, crazy., First, of, all,, that's, very funny. When uh, we, got, home., Were, you, there

last? I, don't, think, so. We, got, home, late., I, don't, think, you expected us until the morning. You thought you were all safe up on that deck by yourself. We opened the door. Phil goes, "Hey guys, how are you?" Like, damn, you were getting

Well,, that's, what, that, was, after, the golf tournament. No,, it, was, the, day, before. No. Yeah.

You, were, out, there, getting, ripped. Well, your, own, home., Where, can, you

And, then, he, went, and, got, a, KitKat, bar before bedtime. That's, good. I, saw, him, reach, to, the, candy, drawer, on the way on the way up to bed. He ate a [ __ ] Kit Kat bar.

What's, wrong, with, that? Candy, bar, before, bed., And, then, he, was, in the hallway. I was like, "Phil, you got to be quiet." He was like, "Sh."

He, was, like, laughing. Don't make things up. I'm I Yeah, but I I don't I don't really go for candy when I'm boozing. More of a chicken parm.

Chicken, parm's, crazy. Taco, Bell, kind, of, guy. Now, you, speak, my, language.

Yeah. I, don't, know, how, you're, getting, chicken parm. Well,, what, time, are, you, drunk? Who's making chicken parm at that hour?

Well,, at least, in, Philly, there, were, a couple late night spots that stay open. You can get a chicken parm at any hour of the night.

You, get, you, get, greedy, at, night, with, the grub. Yeah., This, guy, would, order, a, thousand Big Macs eat four of them in one sitting. You'd watch him do it. Didn't even take a breath.

Two, Big, Mac., Two, Big, Macs, was, the, move. Two, Big, Macs, was, crazy. Yeah,

that, was, the, best. But, I, was, reaping, all, the, benefits., He would pass out.

Yeah. There's, a, third, Big, Mac, in, here. Yeah. Yeah., I, think, there, was, a, lot, of, times, I only ate one Big Mac and I'd come out and I'd be like, "I ate two Big Macs last night." And you were like "Yeah man. It was nuts."

Uh,, I, think, that, was, three., You definitely ate two. You always ate too. Yeah,

that's, good, stuff., What, else?, What, else? What else do we got here? Phil, you want to tell us a fun uh fight story? You ever beat anybody up?

Nope. You, ever, Why, not? Nope., Nope. Uh clean, sheet. Any, funny, uh, childhood, stories?, Yeah.

How, about, the, the, story, when, I, when, I had to walk that girl home? I, don't, know, about, it.

Yeah., Well,, I, don't, even, know, if, you were born then, but this sticks out in my mind as one of the funnier stories. We lived uh about 10 miles from here or 5 miles from here. And back then in the mid80s, we had a landline, you know phone. Okay. So, I would answer this phone and say, "Hello, Gillises." And I would hear this like this pervert on the other end. And I would just go nuts.

I'd, say,, "You, son, of, a, [ __ ], If, I, ever find out who you are, I'm going to kill you." Cuz Katie and Sarah were both like

six, and, seven, at, the, time., And, and, Joan, you know, she was u you know, still hot. And so I I'm thinking there's some perverts just watching what's going on here. And I don't know if they're after the girls or after Joan, but and then like a week later I'd pick up the phone and say, "Hello, Gillises." And I'd hear this. like this and I say and I would swear I'd go nuts. I would just

So, this, went, on, for, like, six, weeks, like once a week and then one Sunday afternoon Sarah's girlfriend comes up in a baby stroller and she's some little overweight, Greek, kid., All right., So Joan Joan says to me about three hours later, "Will you walk her home?" All right. Because she was putting Katie and Sarah getting them in the baths or whatever. So I said, "Sure." So I start walking with this kid and she's got her baby carriage and we walk and I take about 10 steps and I hear this. I go, "It's you, isn't it?" The kid had asthma. I didn't know it. Every time I answered the phone, I scared her so much she would never say anything. And then I'm swearing at what I was saying.

Yeah., That's, a, true, story., That, poor, kid That's great. I remember when Mike Connley hit puberty. That was a tough one.

Yeah. My, buddy, Mike, hit, puberty, like, real early. He would call me like, "Is Shane there?" Yeah.

And, they're, like,, "Who, is, this?, You [ __ ] Ferrar. [ __ ] you." We, had, to, We, had, to, stop., He, wasn't allowed to play football with us anymore. We We had to hide our backyard football games from him

cuz, he, was, just, that, bad. He, was, a, [ __ ], monster., He, would, kill us.

Yeah. My, friends, had, no, jump, rule, against, me when we played basketball. You, were, not, allowed, to, shoot.

No,, they, weren't, allowed, to, jump. Oh., to, block, me, because, I, was, so, tiny.

That's, nice. Yeah, that, is, nice. Yeah, he, got, humped, by, a, Down, syndrome, guy playing basketball.

That's, right. Yeah,, it, was, just, Yeah. Do, you, want, me, to, tell, him? Okay,, what, else, are, we, doing?

Uh, we don't have to have you. Obviously, he didn't, you know, he just was a little over excited and, you know, sort of tossed me around.

Steve,, here., Let, me, tell, you. Would, you, make, a, tough, shot, or something? He was trying to he he knew the other he knew the pretty girls were going to, be, at, recess, watching, and, he said

they, were, already, there. And, he, said,, "Watch, this., I'm, a, good guy. I'm going to help this special needs boy play some basketball."

I, won, an, award, which, I, sent, you, a, photo of. What's, that? The, nicest, guy, award.

But, do, you, remember, I, was, like, I, think it was something with Congress and then it was like a state.

Yeah. I, got, a, word, from, Congress., It, was, like a judge from Westchester, right? But no he he was trying to show off for the ladies and be like, "Look how good of a guy."

I, was, trying, to, show, off, for, the, ladies. My cousin you, know,, you, were

Well,, it's, a, byproduct,, you, know., It wasn't like I sat there and said, "Let how can I get a date in middle school?" It was my cousin started doing it at his school, so I was like "That would be a cool thing to do here."

Yeah. Yeah. But, once, you, saw, the, ladies, watching, you were kind of dude,, everyone, started, middle, school., It was all about are the ladies watching.

Yeah., Of, course,, there's, nothing, wrong with it, but it's just a funny thing to have backfire.

Yeah. You're, trying, to, be, a, good, guy, and, the [ __ ] guy starts humping you. They [ __ ] pull him off you.

Yeah., Chicky., Yeah., He, had, to, pull, him off. Yeah. I, remember, the, stress, of, just, like running the mile in gym class.

Oh,, brother., You, have, no, idea. You, got, no, [ __ ], idea. No,, that's, when, you, hit, the, [ __ ], I'm too cool for this.

Yeah., Yeah. Yeah., [ __ ], that., I'm, walking,, dude., I'm not Oh,, you're, walking., Wow., Was, it, too, cool for It's a great

Yeah,, there's, no, way, I'm, going, to [ __ ] do that right? Run, and, lose, to, a, [ __ ], like, all, the girls.

Yeah. No,, that's, I'm, too, cool, for, this. That's, funny. I, I'll, hit, the, I'm, too, cool, for, this button. Basketball triyouts instantly.

Shirts,, skins. Once, I, Oh,, you, got, to, do, that., There's no Okay, you, got, to, take, the, skins.

You, can't, You, can't, even, fight, it. Okay, this, You, can't, even, When, they, go, shirts and skins, you're on skins in your head. You're going [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] You got to play that cool. You gota just Yeah, [ __ ] yeah. I don't give a [ __ ] [ __ ] Who cares? Uh, no. I'm talking about like uh once I knew I sucked at basketball, that's when I was like layup line try out. I'm just [ __ ]

Oh,, I, say launching, it, against, the, backboard, going [ __ ] it. I don't even care. And I'd get home and go I wish I could play with my friends. It's so funny reactions because yeah, I would just the cry I wouldn't go through the cool thing. I just go right to the crying thing.

Skins, was, tough., But, what, was, nice, was there was a couple guys that had we were all going through puberty, so they all had some of the guys just had giant tits. You remember those like puffy nipples kids got?

No. Yeah. You, didn't, play, enough, sports., Trust, me, when you go skins, like

20%, of, the, kids, have, giant, fat, nipples. So that they distracted everybody. Everybody goes, "Yo, why do you have tits dude?"

One, of, my, friends, nickname, was, tits from, that. And, it, was, just, puffy, nipples.

It's, just, puffy, nipples., He, was, in perfectly good shape. He was skinny. He just had a rack

dude., Yeah. I, I, told, you, I, drained, him. Oh,, yeah., That's, the, worst,, man.

I, pierced, him. Oh. Oh,, yeah., I, didn't, know, what, the, I thought I was growing tits. I was freaking out. I wasn't going to talk to anyone about it.

Yeah,, you, can't, tell, anyone, about, I, was just [ __ ] I was just like put a needle in that.

What, happened? I, don't know., I, guess, stuff, maybe, a couple inches shorter than I should have been, but I don't know.

True., That, was, [ __ ] I, know., I, think, that, was, like, important that I just nuked.

All, the, power, was, in, your, nipples. You, were, about, to, be, 6'8. Yeah,, you, would.

But, it, wasn't, worth, the, risk. You'd, be, a, problem. 68, with, tips. If, you, were, tall,, you, would, have, been, a real problem.

Yeah. You, your, build. Yeah., Yeah., Yep, man., What?, That'd, be, so, fun. All right,, Shane,, you, wrap, it, up.

Gotta, wrap, it, up., Gotta, get, ready, for our basketball. Okay., You, got, anything, to, say?, The, guys have been waiting for you to be on the pot for

Well,, I, don't, really, know, who, the, guys are, tell you the truth. Everybody.

Everybody., All right. It's, like, fight, club,, dude., It's, like you're [ __ ] your chef. You're [ __ ]

Good, to, be, with, you, today. Yeah,, this, is, nice., Pop, in, before Thanksgiving. Good to see everybody.

Yeah. All right, I'm out of here. All righty. We'll, we'll, keep, going. Yeah,, sure., What, are, we, at, time?

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I, like, it. That's, great. Yeah, it's, good, for, you. It's, good, for, you., Do, it. Can I just uh not to derail what you guys are talking about, but when you were yelling at him like your dad eats [ __ ] ass up

I, didn't, hear, that, till, like, the, third time that you kept saying that. Chris, knew, exactly, what, he, was, doing. And Phil Phil hit me with it. That would have hurt when he was like, "You need a book." I was like

I, don't, know, how, I, didn't, think, this through. I'm talking about eating [ __ ] with my dad. That's a [ __ ] crazy thing.

Yeah., I, didn't, know, if, you, wanted, him, to dive in or not. No, absolutely not. Obviously, it would be funny, but I don't need that.

No. And, I'd, feel, bad, for, him,, you, know. Yeah., Yeah., Yeah. I, don't, think, he, understands

just, how, many, people, watch. What, are, you, doing, down, there, with, your [ __ ] friends? You weirdos comes out. He's like

think, uh, we, got, a, good, team, this, year. And uh you know, you can't win without good kids in coaching.

Yeah., To, to, go, deep, into, the, [ __ ] eating conversation. straight to then, just, pour, then, just, pour, 60, beers on top of that. Wake up tomorrow.

Yeah. Whoa. Yeah,, that'd, be, sad., It'd, be, nice, to take it easy tonight. Yeah., Oh,, yeah., I'm, I'm, taking, it, easy, dude. I'm You taking it easy?

Yeah., Yeah., I, got, burnt., I, I, walked, I got too close to the sun. I, Yeah., I, got, to, stop, doing, that, to, you.

I, was, Yeah. You, can't, go, into, deep, waters. I, mean,, I've, been, in, the, deep.

You, are., I've, been, in, the He, goes,, "Yeah,, but, it's, not, He's, not built for it."

No, no,, no., Now, the, wheels, come, off. You, start, going,, "Yeah." Well,, also,, your, depth, is, so, much

I'm, just, drinking, bruskies. But, they, they're, bringing, out, the, green teas.

Green, teas, are, all, right. Yeah,, but if, you, have, to. No,, I, can't., I, can't., You, know,, once, a single I

think, they're, alcoholic. What? I, don't, even, know, what's, in, there. Enough enough to change. you start hitting that brown like

the, Brown, is, that's that's, when, he's, going, for, a, run. Sure. That's, when, he's, fighting., Me, fighting,

right? Yeah,, that's, true. But, I, I, I, I, don't, think, I, asked, for, the Brown all weekend, but every once in a while someone

Oh,, it, found, it., Somebody, offered, me, a shot. I go, Chris will [ __ ] do it.

Yeah, I, was, saying, no., We, said, no, to, a, a, uh Twisted Tea Chug. That was big. That was It's an insane offer.

Hey,, you, want, to, chug, a, twisted, tea?, Oh, no. Thank you. And, then, they, were, like,, I

come, on, a, dick, if, you, don't, do, it., It's like well here, we'll, film, it., Chug, this., You, go. Yeah, that's good. Let's get that out there.

My, fat, neck, chugging, a, [ __ ], just looking into a camera like where's Chester? Kids would come up, dude. be like, "Yo can you shout out [ __ ] Sigma Kai?" Whatever the [ __ ] frat is.

Yeah. I, usually, say, no,, but, every, once, in a while I'm drunk enough to be like, "Yo Sigma Kai

I'm, a, loser,, dude., I, get, into, town,, I become a [ __ ] embarrassment." No, you don't.

It's, really, embarrassing. You're, so, nice, about, it. I'm, nice, to, people,, but, then, you, hang out,

it's, too, late, at, college, and, then there's a bunch of college kids coming in be like

just, be, out, of, breath, right, in, your, face spitting on you. Yeah, but I get it. I remember.

Sure. I, was, a, college, if, I, was, a, college, kid, I'd be so happy. Sure. Yeah.

Oh,, it, was, a, dream. College., Yeah, man., It, was, drinking. It, was, a, dream.

[ __ ], wasted, drinking. Oh,, it, was, so, fun., I think, we, might, have, lost, the, com, man.

He, went, through, hell, this, weekend. I, did. He's, on, He's, on, a, different, plane.

I, got descended. No,, I, descended. He's, descended. I, descended., I, need, to, ascend.

We, do. I, need, to, I, need, a, big, dry, out. You, and, me, are, going, to, be, in, complete control.

Don't, worry., It's, only, the, holiday season. I, need, a, big, dry, out. It's, only, the, holiday.

It's, only, the, holiday, season., We're probably not going to be drinking that much and not depressed at all.

Yeah., Well,, my, my, family, goes, light, on the booze, so I can I can I can get

We'll, go, We'll, go, light, at, uh Thanksgiving. Yeah, it's, Well,, they, won't,, but, I, will., I don't like getting drunk in front of them. No, I guess my family. Yeah. Yeah.

No,, for, real. Yeah., Yeah., It's, bad, luck. Yeah., Especially, the, way, I, actually drink.

Oh,, yeah., Yeah. I, showed, up., It, was, like,, "Watch, this." 25 [ __ ] view., Yeah.

Actually,, that, would, be, funny. They, treat, it, like, the, medical, emergency that it is.

It's, like Yeah. Yeah., Like,, wait,, so, what?, You're, doing this when you're not around?

Yeah. Is, this, what, you're, doing?, No,, this, is just No,, this, is, for, Thanksgiving.

I, miss, you, guys. Just, miss, you, so, damn, much., I, don't, want to remember it. I don't even remember seeing you.

That's, good, stuff. Yeah, it's, fine., We're, in, complete, control now. Are, you, excited, for, tires?

I, couldn't, be, more, excited. Yeah,, I'm, excited. It's, going, to, be, so, much, fun.

I'm, excited. It's, the, best. It's, incredible. Just, filming, together,, goofing, off. You'll get mad. Oh, it's gonna be cold. You're gonna be such a [ __ ] the whole time.

I, think, I'm, going, to, be, a, [ __ ], too. It's cold. It, is, cold, as, [ __ ], in, there.

We, only, got, a, little, lick, of, the, winter last year. We're, going, to, be, in, the, depths.

My, understanding, is, that, there's, like heating elements outside now and that they're going to be a little bit better about having places for me to go personally warm up. That would not affect your

You, ruin, a, room. I, I, accidentally, I, did, that, once. You, set, it, to, 95, degrees., He, does, have, a nice trick to keep me out of his office

at, the, writing, room., Yeah., I, go, in,, I take two steps into the room and I go "Oh my god

get, the, [ __ ], out, of, here." Yeah,, I, did., I, I'm, like, uh, cold, blooded. I run My temperature runs low.

I, do, great, in, the, summer. Yeah. I, like, walking, around, the, office, and seeing what you guys are up to.

Yeah. Walk, past, yours,, you're, laying, on, a inflatable mattress. Walk Chris is asleep on a [ __ ] bean bag and just

It's, [ __ ], crazy, dude. Everyone's, asleep, dude. The whole staff's asleep. It's, It's, exhausting.

If, you, come, in, if, you, come, in, at, like two. Yeah, dude. I, hear, you. Four, hours, of, hard, thinking.

It's, nap, time. You, got, to, lay, it, down. A, lot, of, guys, napping., You, got, a, lot, of naps in there.

You, got, to, lay, it, down. We, need, the, scripts, by, Thursday. Everyone, oh, [ __ ]

John. John,, hurry, up. Please,, John. But yeah, this is it's it's just so exciting and that that that is the one thing I was saying is like to be to be famous for like small famous that I am for like this reason.

Well,, you, know what, I, mean. Sure. No,, not, you., I'm, just, saying, I, don't like even talking about it, but Yeah.

Oh,, well,, I, mean, it, is, a, factor., Yeah. But for this reason, like I it's just so nice

because, it's, it's, it's, about, a, show. Yeah., you, and, John, and, and, it's, like

for, sure people, that, really, care, about, each other. I couldn't imagine being like

the, [ __ ], would, want, to, be, famous. Well, that, shit's wild. That's, my, point., It's, like, if, you, if, you were reality show famous.

Yeah. Just just, trying, to, be, famous. Oh, man. You, don't, want, to, have, talent, at, all. You just want to be famous

right? Gross. Nightmare., Nightmare. Yeah., But, it, is, it, is, fun., I, I, do, like seeing you be the big man on campus. I like watching you walk around and go "Oh, yeah, that's me."

That's, not, what, I, do. Oh,, yeah. I, don't, do, that. Oh,, yeah. But, I, I'll, tell, you, what,, it, is, rewiring my brain in a like cuz bars I used to never So, I'm trying to get back a little Shane's trying to get me out of my comfort zone, which I eternally grateful for. And uh like went to the Eagles Halloween thing and

uh Oh,, man. Yeah. dressed, as, Jafar's, going., I, can't, see. I'm kind of blind that this

Jordan, hitting, you, with, a stick right out of the gate. Yeah. What, was, the, picture?, I, thought, we, were I thought he wanted us in the picture.

Yeah., Nobody, can, understand, what, he's saying. Steve,, let's, go. Oh,, no. But, he, was, saying, get, out.

He, was, saying, not, you,, but, I, was, like, "No, no." Hi, I'm Steve. Who, the, [ __ ], are, you,, bro?

Hey,, the, [ __ ], out, of, here,, bro., I, mean, I'm not dogging on Dre. He is a awesome guy. Yeah.

Um, how, [ __ ], nice, is, he? Yeah,, he's, great., Everyone, was, so, nice. Obviously,, everyone's, great., But, I, went to Me and him after the Halloween party went to Bonners.

Yeah. I, just, sat, with, him, at, the, bar, at Bonners. He's huge. He's dressed like the Witcher.

Oh,, was, that, what, it, was? Yeah. And, he, was, just, getting, into, singing., He was talking about his singing. He loves singing.

Yeah. He, started, singing., It, was, very, funny. That's, fantastic., See, what?

See, what, the, difference, between, you, and Jordan Milada sing. If, I, was, just, gigantic, then, and, I, said, I want to dance, you wouldn't be, oh you'd be like, it's so cool.

If, you, were,, first, off,, I, wasn't, saying, oh, it's so cool. I thought it was funny. It's funny

to, hear, a, guy, that, is, that, big. Yeah. Be, like,, thinking, about, getting, into singing bro.

Yeah,, man., [ __ ], yeah. He's, got, a, really, good, voice. He, does., Yeah,, he, does., That's, the difference. Also, if you had a great voice and good moves

I, can, support, it. Okay., You'll, have, to, work, on, the, moves. The, moves, are, actually, pretty, good.

No, I, will, say, that., You, don't, have, good moves. You're, going, to, come, get

and, you, got, long, legs., You, [ __ ], look good out there. You, look, like, some, type, of, bug, on, the dance floor.

I, don't, look, [ __ ], bug, out, there. I, know. I, wish, it, was, more, proportioned.

No,, I, think, long, legs, is, good, for, square dancing. Long [ __ ], All, three, of, us, are, pretty [ __ ] with proportions. What are you talking about?

Shut, the, [ __ ], I'm, the, ideal, man., Hey, let me tell you. Talk to my ex. Hey,, you, talk, to

That's, what, That's, what, I, think, I'm going to do. I think I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna dry it out. I'm gonna get big into yoga.

You, got, to, dry, it, out, before, we, film. I'm, gonna, get, flexible for, sure.

Yeah., And, while, we're, filming,, we, gota get, the Thankfully, Thankfully,, it's, going, to, be early enough days because of the lighting.

So,, you're, not, gonna, we're, not, going, to be able No., Yeah. We, go, ahead.

No,, that's, it. Yeah. It's, kind, of, like, a, little, bit, of identity crisis to think about how different I would be if I was Jordan Milada's size.

Yeah. God,, I'd, love, it, if, you, were, the, exact same. If there was just a giant version of you

I, would, probably, say I don't like parties. I'm going home. 68 jacked. I'm going as Jafar to the Eagles Halloween party. I have to leave. I'm blind.

Well,, it's, cuz, you, my, pupils, don't dilate. So, it's like uh I can't see anything. And I I think I asked you at one point I was like "Who's that over there?" And you're like, "Jillan Barkley."

Yeah., Yeah., Jill., Dang, it., I, can't, see him. Yeah. And, then, just, a, bunch, of, giants, like

John, Cena, was, there. Oh,, he, was? Yeah., Wow. No. Yeah., Steve, couldn't, see, him.

Folks, nice folks. I, got, plenty, more. Very, nice. Come, see, me, at, the, link

for, more, [ __ ], gold, like, that. I, I, I, would, I, would, genu, if, I, couldn't see, I would freak out in those environments too.

Yeah,, cuz, like, when, Shane, came, in,, then Jordan was like dancing. Yeah. You, know,, like, I, don't, know., Everybody's kind of dancing and then

there, were, there, was, some, movement, back towards me and then there was literally nowhere to go. I was against the bar.

Yeah. So, then, then, you, know slowly Yeah. It, was, nice, that, we, were, the, only, we were the only ones there.

Yeah. Other, than, the, team team. It, was, very, weird. Yeah. It, was, awesome., It, was, really, nice, with the Dickersons.

Oh,, that's, so Yeah,, they, they, put, it, together. He, couldn't, be How, great, is, he?

Yeah,, man. Yeah, that's it's funny when you get to know the the guys that play football. Like it changes the way I watch the game like like last night Christian McAffrey running the ball 30 times. Every time he runs ball I'm like don't be safe. Be safe.

Please, don't, get, hurt,, please., I, just You become a girlfriend instantly. Oh no, he's down.

Yeah. Get, up., Get, up., Get, up., He's, up., He's up. He's good. He's having a hell of a game. And at the end of the game, you're like, I'm so proud of you. He did great man. Yeah. Like I watch Bill's games now. I'm back to that cuz Gabe

Sure. Gabe, Davis, is, back., I, watch, it, again. I'm like a [ __ ] girlfriend watching this [ __ ]

He, catches, the, ball., I'm, like Gabriel. Anytime, he, doesn't, get, thrown., You're like he was open.

He, was, open. Josh, throw, him, the, ball. Yeah., But, injuries, in, football,, it's sad. It's sad. It's so sad for the guys.

Yeah. Because, it, really,, you, know,, it, makes them it makes them sad. Yeah.

Yeah. It's, such And, just, your, entire, career, can, be, Yeah. done in a second.

Yeah. I, don't, I, genuinely, don't, know, how, there aren't eight broken legs every running play.

I, mean, me, either., It's, obviously, I, would I, just, ran., If, no, one, tackled, me,, I'

just, pull, up,, tear, your, killies. That's, I'm, surprised, the, line, guys, don't wear the double leg braces.

Yeah. Also, I feel like the arm the arm brace thing that feels like when the D guys wear it feels like cheating.

Why? You, just, got, a, metal, weapon, you, can, hit, dude., When, we, would, play, like, indoor lacrosse, there'd be these [ __ ] Canadian guys and they would build like their own like armor.

They, would, just, like, they, would, they would like heat up plastic and build just like a shield and then they'd just [ __ ] crush you.

The, Canadians, were, [ __ ], you, up. They're, nuts., Yeah. Are, they, better, than, you?

I, Well, who's, better, skill, level? Who's, better?, Are, the, Americans, or, the Canadians?

I, think, the, Canadians., Yeah. Really? I, mean, damn., It, is, like, a, clash, of, the, uh [ __ ] who couldn't play the real sport.

It's, our, non-, football, guys, versus, their non-hockey guys. It's, a, battle,

dude. Who, are, the, [ __ ], guys?, Get, This, is, our best group of [ __ ] guys. No, the Canadians cuz every everyone uh when I was growing up was like you got to have like be like good in with both hands and all this stuff and Canadian guys went [ __ ] that.

Yeah, they, just, got, so, good, with, one, hand and, didn't, they, No,, New, York, has, the Native Americans.

Yeah., Yeah., Onaga. Yeah. Yeah. We, laugh, about, or, whatever. Jim, Brown, playing, he, was, like, nasty, at lacrosse.

Yeah. Jim, Brown. He, played, lacrosse, at, Syracuse. Okay., Yeah., Yeah, there, must, have, been, 10, people, on, Earth playing lacrosse.

And, he, must, have, just, trucked, the, [ __ ] out of those kids. Cuz, I, was, asking, him,, I, was like,, "Can you just lower your shoulder with the ball?" He's like "Yeah."

That, must, have, been, [ __ ], terrifying. Yeah., He, just I'd, be, racist. Sure.

I, was, one, of, those, white, guys, out, there. I go, "Get him off the field. This is [ __ ] crazy."

Yeah., That, feels, like, a, sport, ripe, to have somebody come in and just dominate like that.

Yeah. Yeah., Jim, Brown. I, don't, know if, you, see, it. Holy, [ __ ], I, would, love, to, see, it., I'd love to see like a LeBron kind of guy out there.

Yeah. Jordan, Milado, with, a, lacrosse, stick. No,, Jordan, needs He, would, shoot, the, ball, 200, miles, an hour.

It's, crazy. Jordan, Milada, needs, to, be, nowhere, near Dude,, I, remember any, other, sport.

Yeah, dude., I, remember he's, scary, out, there. Yeah. He, shakes, your, hand, after, the, game., You straight to girlfriend mode again. You go, "Oh my god, your hands are so [ __ ] gay the whole time." And he can sing. And he's handsome. He's dressed like a vampire.

He, is., He, was. He, was., He's, dressed, like, a, vampire. He's handsome as [ __ ]

He, was, kind, of, crazy. Our, [ __ ], squad, of, mutants in, the, corner, dressed, like, a, [ __ ] ninja turtle blind going home. Got a whole team of pugs in the corner. These are my buddies. We're all [ __ ] pieces of [ __ ] I had uh the hat the Jafar hat was like two foot and it still wasn't

Blizz, Blizz, showing, up, with, the, [ __ ] whatever that face paint was. Yeah,, mine

was, [ __ ], horrifying. That's, a, highle, move, though. The, bees, dressed, as, a, bee., That, was nice.

Yeah,, it, was, a, good, night. Those, are, some, good, costumes., I, I thought I had a good turtle costume.

You, did, have, a, good, I, had, no, costume., I classic. No,, no,, it, wasn't, too, cool., I, just didn't have uh

Yeah. time. Should, have, gotten, you, one., We, went, to the store right before. I should have got you.

You, got, the, Jason, mask. Yeah, it's, classic. But, it', be, nice, nice, to, get, you, a, Power Ranger.

Yeah,, I'm, not, big, Power., I, physically, am for a bodysuit. Well,, it's, baggy.

It, better, be., It, better, be, baggy. Dude,, the, problem there's, a, lot, of, problems, with, a, latex suit with me.

And, the, tenis, might, be, number, two. The, love, handles, is, where, we're, running into some real [ __ ] chaos. Just a belt, a Power Ranger belt sagging underneath my gut. I mean, that's I'd be with you. I go, I'm going home, too. This [ __ ] blows.

I, think, that'd, be, such, a, sick, look. If, I, pulled, it, Yeah., If, I, If, I, wore, it with confidence, yeah, but there's no way I would. There's no way I could.

I'd, be, doing, the, adjust, my, [ __ ], shirt the entire the entire time. Pulling the penis out this time. The whole time.

Don't, get, that, spandex, off, my, dick., This is crazy. Jordan my life I was gonna see my tiny penis.

Dude,, I, remember, when, we, were, in, uh, when we were in like I think late middle school, early high school, Casey Pow who's like the best player in the world at the time, came and we were hanging out and he was like shooting. He was shooting like 95 miles an hour and Sullivan just picked up a stick. He was in eighth grade.

Yeah. He, just, picked, up, a, stick, and, shot, like 110. Jeez., It, was, Gizzy, Pal, was, 25.

Sullivan, was, a, horse, though. Yeah,, he's, a, monster. I, can't, imagine, an, NFL, lineman, like actually playing lacrosse and shooting the ball.

[ __ ], funny., If, if, you're, allowed, to just truck people it, would, kill, goalies.

Yeah,, that, would, Yeah,, they'd, have, to start actually wearing pads. Like way more pads.

Like, a, thick, like, hockey, chest protector. Those, guys, must, be, crazy. They're, nuts.

Lacrosse, goalies. They're, nuts., Yeah., I, like, those positions in sports that are real weird.

Yeah. Like, MLB, pitchers. Yes. Are, just, insane, people. I, would, imagine, hockey, goalies, are [ __ ] weird dudes.

Hockey, goalies., Yeah. Yeah. They're, supposed, to, be every, single, golfer., Weird, dork.

Yeah., They I, don't, know, any. I've, only, met, a, couple, and, they, were, all very normal and nice.

Oh,, okay. Yeah., Just, trying, to, belittle, your sport, your favorite. I just wanted to take your favorite thing and say it sucked.

Okay., Even, though, it, doesn't. No,, but, it, has, to, a, little, bit, because it's such a head game.

That, is, I, I, would, imagine, those, are weird people. Yeah. Like, you, have, to, do, all, these, like, weird mental stuff to like keep from absolutely melting down.

Yeah. That's, why, goalies, are, like, talking, to pipes and stuff thanking, pipes,

dude., The, my, favorite, was, just, during, co going to baseball games where the stadium was empty and you could just listen to the pitchers.

They're, [ __ ], insane,, dude. What, are, they, saying?, Every, time, they put that glove over their face

you, [ __ ], [ __ ] Really? Just, back, to, the, game., You're, like, "Holy shit."

Whoa. Yeah., They're, No,, they're, mental patience. Wow., That's, really, interesting., I, mean, I get it.

Yeah. Yeah., Giving, up, a, home, run. Yeah. You, can, just, hear, it, as, soon, as, it leaves the bat. You hear the pitcher [ __ ]

son, of, a, [ __ ], [ __ ], Give, me, the ball. Just, winging, the, next, pitch. I I can't imag I can't imagine like having the confidence

to, just, throw, the, pitch, over, the, plate. Tommy, put, me, on, to, that., It's, very funny. When someone gives up a home run usually the next pitch is

95, fast, ball, down, the, middle., Like they're like, "Fuck you. [ __ ] you." Just, fast.

Gone, again., Gone., [ __ ] That's, got, to, be, the, worst, feeling, in the world.

Giving, up, a, homer., Yeah,, it was, a, tough, one. Giving, up, a, sack, sucked.

Oh, my, god, that, was, really, horrible. Yeah, especially, your, friends, with, the quarterback. He's your buddy.

Dude,, I'm, getting, killed., I, don't, know who the [ __ ] this guy is. I'm I'm gone this game. Run away.

What, can, you, do, if, you're, just, getting smoked? What do you Nothing. Just, hopefully, the, coach, Hopefully, the coach can make an adjustment and help get the running back chip. Yeah

but We didn't have that. Oh. So,, it, was, just, you, just, you're, gonna get [ __ ] up today. All day. [ __ ]

How, many, times, did, that, happen?, Just happened, once. Happened, to, me, once.

My, last, game, of, my, senior, year. Oh,, no., And, the, guy, across, from, me,, you just play one, you were like, he's

Yeah., I, like, never, gave, up, a, sack, and then this one game, this guy was just killing me.

The, final, game. Yeah. Never, played, another, game. Yeah. Oh,, no. That's, all, right., [ __ ], it.

I, got, a, memory. I, got, I, don't, care. I, got, a, memory, like, that in, college.

I, thought, you're, going, to, your, hockey story. That's my favorite. Oh,, that's, that's, retired, from, hockey.

That's, a, tough, one. He's, like, deeply, troubled, by, it, dude., Conference, championship, my, senior year of college. They like they they dialed it up. They called the play to me.

Oh. Like, take, this, guy, to, the, rack., Had, a shorty. Dude stripped me and, I, like, never, turned, the, ball, over. Yeah. never stripped me down the other way. Didn't see the field again.

Oh, man, it, was, Yeah,, it, was, like, a, fourth quarter game's like it's like 77.

Yeah. Run, the, play. Well,, Connor,, you, ready? Yes. And, I, went, into, it., We're, like,, I'm going to smoke this kid. And he just twiged.

He, go,, "Yeah,, all, right,, [ __ ] Here we go." And dude, come off the field,

dude., It, was, like, it's, I, still, it's, like one of those things you scream about in the shower because it was a thing where it's like like I hadn't been playing well in the like the last quarter of the season but the coach was still like I know he literally pulled me aside and was like I know you still got goals.

Oh, no. Yeah., And, I, was, like, hell, yeah, dude that's, nice, though. Yeah., You, know, it, was, great.

Yeah. And, then, uh, turned, out, I, didn't, have goals left in but, it, was, that's, was, like, so, painful. He literally like game on the line gave me a shot to make a difference.

That's, tough., You, never, told, me, that story. Oh,, it, was, brutal., It's, literally, like the last play of my

Yeah. Yeah. Heartbreak. That's, really, hurting, you, guys. Yeah,, that's, a, tough, one.

It's, all, right. That's, how, sports, ends, though., Yeah. No,, you, don't, end, on, top.

No., You, got, humiliated. [ __ ] it. I'm I'm not doing this. When was your last uh sport?

That, would, be, uh, probably, little, league baseball. And it was Yeah. Just couldn't

But, you, were, just, short. Yeah. When, did, you, grow?, When, did, those [ __ ] legs take off?

Uh, freshman, year, of, college. Holy, [ __ ], That, must, have, been, crazy. It, was, pretty, nuts.

How How, much, did, you, grow? Uh six inches. Seven inches in, a, year. Uh, over, the, time., Yeah.

God,, that, must, hurt., It, it, was, it, was crazy. It was crazy to have to like buy new pants in a year.

Yeah. That's, a, dream, though., That, was, I, always held out hope. Yeah. I, would, I, would, Yeah., I, would, learn about people growing in college and be like this still I still haven't happened. Yeah.

I, saw, an, endocrinologist, and, they, they you know said 56 57 tops. Really? Yeah., And, then

I, don't, think, they, know, [ __ ] I, don't, know. They, get, that, wrong, all, the, time.

Right., They're, just, looking, at, an, X-ray. Yeah., All, right. Yeah,, it's, a, scam. Endocrinologists, I'm coming for you.

You, [ __ ] remember, so, humiliating, because, they, uh had like a bead of testicles. Did I tell you about that?

It, was, It, was, like, like like, a, size, chart. A, size, chart., Like, where

But, it, was, like, on, a, rope, like, like, a butt plug rope. Yep., And, then, my, mom, like, So, they checked me and then my mom came back in the room. He was showing where my testes were on the

on, the, big, balls. Yeah. What?, Yeah. Is, that, how, they'd, see, how, tall, you're going to be?

No,, I, think, it, was, the, X-rays,, but, they just, they're, like,, "Here,, this, is, just to show show you where you stack up.

What, the, [ __ ], What, doctor, is, this, dude?" I get, rid, of, that, [ __ ] My, recollection.

Just, so, you, know,, also, you, have, small tiny balls. That's, no, medical, difference., You're going to, be, able, to, have, kids,, all, that. This is just for you.

It, has, no, bearing, on, anything, else., Just want you to know you got little tiny dick.

All, right. Thanks for that. You're, like, matching, up, to, the, age, group that typically

That's, a, doctor, with, small, tiny, balls. Yeah. And, he's, got, his, little, He's, got, a, notch on there

right? He's, going,, "Got, you." Not, so, small. The, 99th, percentiles. Yeah. All, right., Well,

how, Yeah., What's, the, biggest, What, was the biggest ball on the chart, would you say?

Don't, recall. That, would, have, stuck, out, to, me., I, would have been like "Holy [ __ ] poor [ __ ] guy. That's crazy."

Yeah., I, don't, know., I, I, don't, think there were like abnormalities. I think it was like once you got up to uh average male is basically where it ended.

Damn. Yeah., Well, never, really, think, about, the, size, of, my Keep, trying, to, end, the, podcast.

But, yeah,, what, do, you, never, think, about the size of Yeah, that's We got We got way bigger fish to fry

right, next, door., A, real, problem. We, got, a, real, problem, above, and, below those things. There's stuff going on that we need to take care of. Balls are on the back burner for for concern.

Gin, you're, a, sweet, boy., I, wish, you, could come do the show tonight, but thanks, for, having, me, on, this.

Yeah,, it's, good, to, see, you. Sorry. Didn't want I didn't want to make your dad super uncomfortable.

No,, he, doesn't, [ __ ], It, was, funny. Okay. He, he, he, thinks, it's, funny., He, just doesn't want to talk about eating [ __ ] around me. If I wasn't here, he'd be like, "This is what I do."

Yeah., But, no,, my, family's, not, uh Got, it. Never, talk, about, sex. Got, it., Yeah.

I, think, it's, weird, when, families, do it., I, couldn't, agree, more. Yeah, I, agree, with, that.

You, got, any, final, uh, final, thoughts here? Anything you want to get off your chest?

No,, no,, I, think, I, think, I'm, glad, I'm glad I uh I made it through. I was really up against it yesterday.

I, thought, you, were, dead., Yeah. Yeah. You, don't, respond, when, you're, like, that. That's annoying. I know, but um

I, get, it. Sometimes, you, got, to, just couldn't, face, reality. Shut, it, down., Yeah,, shut, it, down., Shut it down. You Yeah

it's, communication gone for, sure., All right., Well,, that's, a, good podcast.

Yeah. Thank, you. Watch, new, episodes, of, Matt, and, Shane Secret podcast on Spotify.

Do, it.

Questions about this episode

What is discussed in "Ep 587 - PHIL (feat. Steve Gerben & Chris O'Connor)"?

In order: 30:00 Mechanicsburg, Paul Mooney; 40:00 Come As You Are, Prize Pick, Green Bay Packers, Paul Mooney; 50:00 Eagles, Steelers; 1:10:00 Eagles, Eagles Halloween, Jordan Milada; 1:20:00 Jim Brown, Gabe Davis, Jordan Milada.

What is mentioned in this Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast episode?

15 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Eagles, Steelers, Jordan Milada, Mechanicsburg, Paul Mooney, Prize Pick. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "Ep 587 - PHIL (feat. Steve Gerben & Chris O'Connor)"?

The episode runs 1 h 35 min; the transcript is about 20,176 words in 735 timestamped sections.

More from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

About this transcript: the episode's spoken words as captioned on YouTube, split into timestamped sections. Reclip.Me locates every person, work and idea in the text, keeps the time it is first named, and quotes the words around it verbatim. Last updated January 24, 2026.