Ep 589 - Broke Mind Virus

What is discussed, and when

1. 0:00 – 10:00: Jim Jones, Prize Pick
2. 10:00 – 20:00: 50 Cent, Prize Pick
3. 20:00 – 30:00: 50 Cent
4. 30:00 – 40:00: Notre Dame, Jim Harbaugh
5. 40:00 – 50:00: Notre Dame, Aura Frames, Bryce Underwood, Jim Harbaugh
6. 1:00:00 – 1:10:00: Notre Dame

Notable quotes from "Ep 589 - Broke Mind Virus"

• Nah, Shane. Ai stepped over him. Walked. I did step over him. he's all right. He popped Did I don't know if you heard it when he popped up. He popped up and was I wasn't on the…

  about Jim Jones · at 1:19

• No, I think I take anytime I take any of those drugs. I'm I don't want to talk to anybody. Yeah, you don't want to clap, let alone clap for three days. Clap for three days.…

  about Prize Pick · at 9:05

• Yeah. that's the most I can't think of a worst thing to come out about anybody. You think YouTube comedy docs are rough? Try getting 50 Cent on your ass with some [ __ ]…

  about 50 Cent · at 17:59

• Yeah, you should. You're going to edit this out. No, I'm not. Well, I'm not going to You're saying what the streets? You got your ear to the streets. Yeah, the streets are…

  about Notre Dame · at 31:45

• Move to be like I'll kill my [ __ ] self dude. Yeah. God forbid I had a little bit of fun. Now you want to ruin my whole life. I am going to kill myself and it's your fault.…

  about Jim Harbaugh · at 38:34

• But he played all right. He's doing all right. Is he really? He's starting now the rest of the season. It's kind of sick. Yeah. I hope he does well. Also, Dion kind of shut the…

  about Bryce Underwood · at 44:47

• Mean? I'm giving you the drama. Give me the dirty deets. We're not talking ball. We're talking off field issues. Talking the narrative. We're talking, you know. I love the…

  about Aura Frames · at 46:28

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

• P. Diddy — Person · 5 mentions
• 50 Cent — Person · 2 mentions · first at 17:59
• Jim Harbaugh — Person · 2 mentions · first at 39:28
• Lane Kiffin — Person · 2 mentions
• Jim Jones — Person · 1 mention · first at 1:41
• Bryce Underwood — Person · 1 mention · first at 44:47
• Celine Dion — Person · 1 mention
• Mary Ellen — Person · 1 mention

Companies & orgs

• Prize Pick — Company · 2 mentions · first at 9:05

Products & tech

• Aura Frames — Product · 2 mentions · first at 47:18

Places & events

• Notre Dame — Place · 14 mentions · first at 32:39

Full transcript with timestamps

0:00 Wow. Wow. Wes. All right. Hello. Hey. Hello. We're live now. Dude, how much does Nate's brother look like? Dr. Umar.

0:00 I thought it was a good doctor for sure. When When your brother walked in and of course I know him, so that's how I knew him. But when he walked in, I was like, "Oh shit."

0:00 I thought it was Dr. Umar. And then the good doctor. You guys were You and your brother put on the [ __ ] [ __ ] brothers. You and your brother are the [ __ ] brothers.

0:26 My brother. I don't know how he he usually holds it together. I did. what I do. But him, that was out of character.

0:26 Right before Right before I go on stage, he comes walking through the puts his arm around Nate's shoulder. Can't walk. Going through the tunnel.

0:26 I go get him a chair. He's sitting down. I turn around, he falls out of the chair.

0:26 He never hit the chair. He I put him in the pulled out and like leg just still up on the chair.

0:26 That was like a medical pass out though. Yeah, it was. And And Nate Nate cried.

0:52 I didn't cry, but I did. Go. I go, "Holy [ __ ] is he all right?" And Nick goes, "I don't know."

0:52 It wasn't that bad, but I did hear. I was worried about him. He went down. I don't even know. Help. I saw I'm I never see I I didn't say helps.

0:52 Somebody called him. I was thinking about it for a second. I was I was like, I can't go on stage. Nate's brother just died.

0:52 Yeah. The good doctor. Nah, Shane. Ai stepped over him. Walked. I did I did step over him. Uh, he's all right. He popped Did I don't know if you heard it when he popped up. He popped up and was like, "I wasn't on the ground." That was the first thing he said.

1:19 When he popped up, I didn't pass out. As as fellow big guys, we were both celebrating the fact that his belly did not fall out.

1:19 Yeah. Yeah. That was good. That was a good look. That would have been devastating. He's laying on your side that big. It's like It's got a slight curvature. It's a rough look.

1:41 Yeah. He landed on his back. He got lucky. He hits the floor and your belly hitting the floor.

1:41 Yeah. So, I can't even remember. It was just leg in the air. Yeah. You were pure panic.

1:41 Yeah, it sucks. Yeah, I mean he once he was I was telling Nate passing out sus, dude.

1:41 Passing out is sus. That's what Jim Jones saying. I was watching Jim Jones's podcast,

2:09 dude. The old black guys are flying into the podcast game. They figured out the code. All you got to do is call each other gay the whole time and they're making millions already.

2:09 He's doing it for a decade. Welcome, brothers. They're just coming in talking like wait you pass out it's kind of [ __ ] gay. You pass like anyone I never pass out. [ __ ] passing out. This shit's gay as hell.

2:09 [ __ ] That is actually my whole act. My whole act, dude. Now old black dudes are they've been doing it forever. The paws.

2:35 They're the pausing each other is the best. It's the best. Jada kisses and Fat Joe's podcast is just so Fat Joe gets paused non-stop.

2:35 He does. He says some wild ones. Oh, it's crazy. It's almost like he's doing it on purpose. I really think so. He probably has a staff of writers be like, "Write me the gayest [ __ ] you can possibly think of."

2:35 But no, Nate's brother bounced back and then Nate picked up the torch, bro. He said, "How can I make a bigger fool with my family?"

2:58 He was rolling around on the couch. I saw. Now, when you say roll, like I I could have I was just

2:58 You literally were standing right there. You fall over the couch like a scuba diver. You would

2:58 like like going Oh [ __ ] You would fall backwards. I didn't know you got You were that drunk. We were on the plane together.

2:58 You know what I found? Do you know why scuba divers, you know how they sit on the boat and fall backwards? Yeah.

3:19 Do you know why they do that? Look cool. No. Cuz if they fell forward, they would land in the boat.

3:35 Come on, guys. Classic highlight reel 2025. Joke world. Clip it. Joke world highlight reel 2025. Just run that back 25 times.

3:35 Yep. That's what we'll do for the new year. New Year's episode. Just that joke over and over for 3 hours. You fall asleep to it. But you're going to laugh every time. You're going to try to sleep and you go now. Phil hit me with that. Phil hit Phil hit me in Gerby's with that.

3:35 It was great. We were watching a [ __ ] He was watching some [ __ ] [ __ ] travel show. He was watching like a a show about cruise ships

4:07 and they were show I was like, "Dude, you want to go on a cruise so bad. Uh, dude, you hear about the guy who just died on a cruise?

4:07 No. Some dude had on record 33 drinks cuz I guess they wanted, dude. And they, you know, Back to the Black podcast.

4:07 Kind of gay. That's kind of gay, dude. Well, dude, they shot him with an anti-csychotic.

4:33 So, he was he had fully rodeo bowled himself. He just got 33 drinks in. He's getting his [ __ ] money's worth. Honestly, there's nothing wrong with that. And then they try to like subdue him, and apparently they gave him an injection.

4:33 Oh, that'll kill you. Yeah, I think the two things combined, which is like first of all, if you're going to subdue anyone on a cruise ship, it's probably going to be from alcohol.

4:33 Why would you have a thing that does that? Secondly, like why don't they have a Narcan version of alcohol that as soon as you give someone, they're just like,

4:54 oh, what? God, that'd be bad. I'd carry it around. I'd just be like, "All right, well, that's Coke." But

4:54 yeah, true. Just so you know, that is Coke. True. People go, "I'm a little too drunk."

4:54 I'm back. Hey, what do you guys want to talk about? But no one would take it. If you're drunk, you're like, "Yo, you got to take your anti-alcohol." You'd be like, "Shut the [ __ ] out. I'm not

5:17 I'm fine. This feels good." He could have used it on Nate. He was Yeah, dude. You were rolling all over the couch.

5:17 We could have We should have narcan Nate, dude. Alcohol. And you got on the plane going, "I'm sober. I had to take care of my brother this whole time."

5:17 I was kind of You were not. I really felt sober. We talked about me and Matthew. You talked about

5:17 math. Not sober. You were drinking. You when we got into the green room, you poured a a glass

5:38 true of liquor. True. But then liquor the entire show and then you did those poppers. You did a couple poppers in the bathroom.

5:38 And you took the poppers. You and your brother. Your brother just snorted poppers.

5:38 You took Poppers and Juicy with your brother. Don't put D. Yeah. You were like railing lines and Tucy before the show.

5:38 And then you had GHB laced baby oil. You got to start traveling with like a just a milk cart and a baby office. Dude,

6:07 what the hell? God damn. Who the hell's that? We're never going to get this podcast done.

6:07 We're never going to get this thing done. The busiest day. That was a hard That was an authoritative knock, too.

6:07 Let's see what that is. Sounds good so far. Was [ __ ] I don't know what the hell Maybe. Did you guys order something?

6:27 No, it's probably birthday [ __ ] You think so? It's like a hat and like a says fragile. Must be Italian.

6:27 Come on, man. Put it 2025. 2025 clips. 20 of 2025 joke clips. Clip it up. Damn, dude. Stop sending me boxes.

6:27 I know. Just crap. More boxes. Just [ __ ] crap. All right, so Nate, you and your brother were snorting poppers. You kissed. He faint. That's how

7:01 That's how Nate woke him up. He was a little [ __ ] Prince Charming. Yeah. Kissed him on his lips and he came back to life.

7:01 Kissed him on the center of his forehead. Told him I'm big bro. Damn. You You did handle it. I didn't like the way you were handling it.

7:01 You were saying nasty things to your brother. He just died once. Once I knew he was okay. That's how I had I had to start.

7:01 He was sitting there coming back to [ __ ] life and you were standing over him being like, "You [ __ ] piece of [ __ ]

7:23 Yeah, you dumbass. You [ __ ] fainted pussy." I didn't do that. Why you making me sound like that?

7:23 I was shaking my head at him. He was like, "Give me that 25% of the company bat, dude. [ __ ] you."

7:23 Yeah, they went full Diddy on his brother baseball bat. I I had to take advantage of being big bro for one hour. That was He's He's like older than me by enough.

7:23 You couldn't handle the success. Yeah. You immediately blacked out and rolled around the ground. You were laying on this couch. You passed out. I grabbed you by the legs and pulled you as hard as I could. The couch

7:50 lost a check immediately. came lost the paycheck from the show. Well, I didn't forget that actually. We think about that every day.

7:50 Yeah, you got to get on that. Yeah. But no, I was shocked. We got back and it was just like

7:50 thinking everything was cool and then all of a sudden I looked over and you're on the couch just like like a fish out of water just floundering around.

8:15 What the [ __ ] Flopping around and everyone's going, "Nate, what are you doing?" And you're going, "Isn't this funny?"

8:15 We were like, "No, dude. It's kind of embarrassing." I mean, bro, in different entertainment circles, you would have gotten clapped.

8:15 Yeah. You would have gotten fully clapped. I thought I was in a safe space. You would have woke up. I thought I was in a no. The camera been facing you 10 years from now. You like I don't know what happened.

8:37 Yes. Pilot. Violet could have clapped him. Anyone could have clapped him. Anyone could have anyone.

8:37 Anyone could have been a lady with a strap on could have clapped you. Well, I didn't get clapped, so that's a good nice

8:37 I'd pay to watch that. I'd take ecstasy and watch you get clapped for three days. I still understand.

8:37 Straight days. What were they taking? That was making them clap for three days.

9:05 No, I think I take anytime I take any of those drugs. I'm like, I don't want to talk to anybody.

9:05 Yeah, you don't want to clap, let alone clap for three days. Clap for three days. It's an ovation.

9:05 Matt, this episode is brought to you by Prize Picks. I love the holidays, gifts, food, and most importantly, sports.

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9:33 God, Matt, could you just riff for me, Daddy, on uh talk about something Prize Pix offers in the app that you love lately?

9:33 I just love the more or less and uh I love that's always that's like the, you know, flagship feature. I do love the fact that they have another feature where I believe you can like completely get out of something if it's the player's not performing well.

9:33 Yeah, something like that. Yeah, I like that one, too. That's a good feature. I love that.

10:00 Sweet riff. Matt, is your fantasy season over already? My team is cooked. Haha, this couldn't be written for me cuz my team's in first place.

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10:23 Prize fix. It's good to be right. What a ma. I do like how I do like how Diddy like slowly you bring the male escort over. You let the male escort obviously cuck you or whatever, but then like how he slowly got involved is so funny. Just punishing her for liking it too much. Good lord, dude.

10:23 Good. That the most diabolical thing was, if you haven't seen the doc, go watch it. But

10:54 great, most diabolical to me. Obviously, maybe killing Pac, whatever. Yeah. But

10:54 pretty bad. Uh, making Biggiey's family at the estate pay for the funeral and then dancing on the [ __ ] VMAs. Oh,

10:54 it is amazing though how he like right after that happened he became like truly I mean he was already obviously famous but then he became like a real music superstar in his own right and it's like watching that him dancing around on stage in all white

11:23 as a kid I was like this guy sucks dick at dancing people like he was a professional dancer I was like he's terrible this is the worst dancer

11:23 he's not a professional dancer did y'all notice he stole a Rolling Stone cover from him too like after he died

11:23 after he died I need it now he had a business he had a business to I get that. Hit a business around Nate. Things don't just stop, right? Got to keep it moving,

11:23 dude. And the clips of him and [ __ ] uh Ellen. What was that? That's like daytime television for,

11:47 you know, I don't She's like grabbing his She's like, "What are you grabbing there? Your piece." Oh

11:47 yeah, that was pretty. Somebody's got to do it. Yeah, that was uh freaks. She left the country.

11:47 Europe. What? Allegedly, she's in Europe or something like that. Why did she leave?

11:47 Because everybody said she was mean. She was mean, so she had to go. I think it was when Trump got elected the second time she left.

12:15 Yeah, that's an excuse. Everyone said she was mean. Yeah, I heard she was just nasty.

12:15 She got exiled for being a meanie. Yep. Had to go back to Europe. Got to go back, dude. Your lineage ends here. True. Back to the old country.

12:15 Start over. Try again. How about you? How about you change your attitude and come back?

12:15 Yeah, don't be mean this time, Ellen. I mean, how mean was she? I feel like so many people in the TV realm are probably pretty [ __ ] mean. Like, how mean are we talking? Can we get like is there any like specific examples of like

12:43 uh off memory? I I remember she was like sort of like a no eye contact in the hallway sort of boss like don't look at me.

12:43 That's just lesbian alpha. Yeah. Yeah, that's lesbian. I've seen nothing wrong with that.

12:43 I'll look it up. See if I can find anything. Yeah that's no eye contact in the hallway. That's

12:43 fully acceptable. Yeah, we're sexual misconduct. Oh, sexual misconduct. Hold on now.

13:10 What kind of uh what was she doing? I'm just I just read the headline real fast. I'm sorry. Uh March 2020 quarantine squid Twitter

13:10 just puking. That's so crazy. That's insane. What? Just you were just on your hands and knees in the bathroom puking.

13:10 Listen to my Now you're on Ellen's ass. You bent over. You bent. You got to [ __ ] get down there to puke.

13:10 Oh, you did hands on the hips. You did a kimbo. You did margarita. I went full teapot.

13:44 So, wait. So, okay. So, Ellen only no eye contact, which I totally [ __ ] get and possibly I think we should instate here.

13:44 Yeah. Specifically during the podcast. I don't like looking at you guys. No eye contact,

14:03 and a meanie. Yeah, that kind of sums it all up. Fear-based environment, producers allegedly being rude, dismissive, or discriminatory, people getting fired or taking uh for taking medical leave or bereavement leave. Uh so basically just being a big

14:03 depends what type of bereavement. Yeah, I guess so. In my opinion. Yeah, man. Sounds like

14:03 somebody's like my [ __ ] my nana died. Like how old was she? He's like 105. Get in here.

14:03 Yeah, you're going to work. Get in here. You're lucky to go to the funeral. Get in here.

14:30 Yeah. I remember Greg Fitz Simmons used to work for her and he was like, "Yeah, she was [ __ ] nuts."

14:30 Fitz Dog. Yeah. Allegedly. And there's a controversy about her DJ. She Did you ever see that guy?

14:30 Yes. My mommy used to love Ellen, so I used to watch it a lot. And she had Twitch who was a DJ who would dance with her and stuff.

14:30 Yeah. And he committed suicide, I think, out of nowhere. And he had like a family. It was really sad stuff.

14:55 Yeah. So, what are you what are you what are you saying? You see [ __ ] Are you alluding to

14:55 You think I think bullied him? Yeah. I think Ellen I don't know. Thinks he found his car in Vegas and paid the Southside Crips to take him out.

14:55 I don't know. She might have called a hit on never paid the Crips. How crazy is that?

14:55 What a miser. truly a I was just thinking about that how that is like I mean again if all this is true which you know a lot of the points do line up it's like that's the worst guy ever to not pay you and then just [ __ ] you afterwards it's one thing not to get paid would stink but then if he just starts like [ __ ] you I'd be like dude what the [ __ ] man

15:23 you mean like literally [ __ ] yeah like [ __ ] you literally [ __ ] you after not paying you to be like all right I want to [ __ ] you like

15:23 yeah that DJ that DJ that was on the boat for a while I don't know what happened to him dude He was getting drugged.

15:44 He's getting paid now. He said he was like, I I went I took this thing thinking I was going to get money to change my family's life. It's like, well, you might get it, man. That's determination. That's making the band.

15:44 That's That is making the band. That's making the band. But I loved the diddy voicemails to him were great, dude. It's like, bro, I love you. Why the [ __ ] are you doing this? I'm gonna pay you. What the [ __ ] man? I remember you. You were so funny. We hung out.

16:07 Somebody be like, "Can I get paid? The album's out." Yeah. Yeah, him and him and his that was my favorite era was him and like post making the band when he was just 50 just like still getting after it. It was really funny.

16:07 Yeah, he was when he was dressed like the Joker running around screaming at people.

16:07 Yeah, you could see you could see something was something was coming down the pike on that one.

16:33 Was a clear mental breakdown. Well, that means he's going to get out and murder everybody.

16:33 You think so? Yeah, definitely. We can't cuz everyone's going to make documentaries and prove he murder. He he probably wants to kill himself. He's going to

16:33 dude that that like B-roll of him like kind of present day. Apparently there's 140 hours of that stuff. So I think there's a lot more that that's that's what

16:33 we were talking about. What what was the baby oil doing in the basically in the [ __ ] like the control room? Like this is things are going bad.

17:00 It's the war room. It was the war room. And it's like don't forget ecstasy and baby oil just in case we have like a fun night. during the uh trial. Like

17:00 I mean once you get once you get the baby oils going it's hard to like not you you kind of want that on deck and god forbid things go south let's get a good baby oil sesh with my grown son.

17:00 I agree with that. That's the craziest too. Having your boy just bringing your boy into it.

17:31 Yeah. And then like during that when his his son was like we got to do something. We got to say something. He was like God told me to be quiet. You do whatever you got to do. I kind of respected that.

17:31 Just [ __ ] abandoning yourself. But God told you do what you got to do. God told him to bring 14 jars of baby oil.

17:31 He said there's a whole ocean of oil under my tub. I've abandoned my boy. Yeah. I mean, that's the most I can't think of a worst thing to come out about anybody. You think YouTube comedy docs are rough? Try getting 50 Cent on your ass with some [ __ ] B-roll, dude. the ultimate [ __ ] elephant graveyard.

17:59 He's the ultimate dude. Yeah, you think of it. His style is actually very unoriginal. It's like, bro, whatever. After seeing the 50 cent [ __ ] I'm like, man, I don't care.

17:59 Last thing you want is 50. He killed everybody. All your favorite rappers. He killed those guys, didn't pay anyone, and raped everybody. And you're like, dude, this is bad.

18:29 Murdering rapist. This is crazy. Gay. You go, hold on a second. I'm not gay. No, I just And I like a lot in the documentary a lot of times when he's like when people are like complaining about him, he'll like be like, "Man, these just it's just broke mindset. This is just broke mindset. The guys you didn't paid and [ __ ] They have broke it. These broke [ __ ] funny as hell.

19:00 I didn't [ __ ] them. What? What are they talking about?" That's what happens. You get so broke. Nobody's going to make that up.

19:00 No dude is going to be like, "Yeah, and then he [ __ ] me." Mm- That one, you don't toss that one in.

19:00 No, that's crazy, bro. That's crazy. Apparently, the guy like you see the guy watched it, he was talented.

19:00 It's a real accusation. Yeah, dude. You're a dude. A straight dude. Mhm. And then going, I don't even want to talk on the dock going, I don't even want to talk. I don't want to get into that. But going, I woke up and I was little. That's exactly what a dude would say. I was just sore. Um, I don't want to talk about it. It's like, [ __ ] man. [ __ ] man. But yeah, he is in for a rough one. He He's already They're already trying to like challenge, you know, they're probably trying to sue Netflix right now big time.

19:24 Diddy's team. Who's his team? Desist apparently. Yeah. Who is it? Dersuitz. Could be.

19:51 Well, apparently that he [ __ ] his lawyer that not like literally, but since he like

19:51 he definitely didn't pay his lawyers. Well, the footage like kind of exposes the lawyer of like bad practice and stuff like that because there's like

19:51 personal or like what were supposed to be private conversations that the guy was just filming the whole time and 50 put those in the

19:51 Yeah. doc too. Filming himself with his lawyers. Yeah. What the hell was that about?

20:19 I don't know. But it [ __ ] the lawyer. I heard really on the internet. Yeah. Apparently he's not too happy about it.

20:19 I [ __ ] bet, dude. Also, yeah, obviously dang, that sucks, man. Being a lawyer stinks cuz then like you're just you're the guy advocating for the guy and everyone's like what a [ __ ] [ __ ]

20:19 Yeah, cuz his dream team he did have a nice dream team. I also I also I do respect being at trial and just looking at the jury and going

20:19 believe that [ __ ] and it works. That girl that was on there, the jury was like, "Dude, he's diddy. [ __ ] sick." He kept looking at me. We were making the same face. It was kind of funny.

20:47 That was funny. Like we both made the same face like what? the girl who was like crying that was like I got kidnapped and the whole jury was like

20:47 they were just like [ __ ] broke mindset clearly broke mindset. It was a broke mind virus.

20:47 The broke mind virus got into the the jury. The jury did not have the broke mind. They were [ __ ] paid alphas.

21:15 We got the most It was nothing but the most extreme hustlers is the old Indian guy.

21:15 They were in love. Yeah. Classic love story. Shout out to [ __ ] Diddy's jury or his his team of lawyers for jury selection being like [ __ ] Pakistani immigrant. Get him the [ __ ] on, dude. He's not going to give a [ __ ] about that [ __ ] video of Cassie getting hit. Like she shouldn't have left the room.

21:15 How could she leave? He was in the middle of a bath. You must never leave your husband while he bathes. This is him like there are many oils. Oh, there were many oils in his house. Some of the finest oils. Yeah, they [ __ ] they would have stacked that jury with 12 angry Indians. The Indian dudes are just fully like free diddy. He's totally innocent, dude. When he [ __ ] hit a couple girls. I know

21:49 they were in love and they did crazy things. And he was also like, "And if you cannot take all the glitz and glamour and take it one way or the other, she could leave." It's like he literally kidnapped his assistant like, "I'll kill her if you don't come outside."

22:26 Oh man. Yeah. The the one thing that really kind of rocked my socks is when the assistant was like, "Yeah, I saw all this [ __ ] up [ __ ] but I didn't want to say anything just like for the culture." And I'm like, what the [ __ ] are you

22:26 for the culture? What are you talking about? You guys want We have representatives of the culture here. Would you guys like to speak on the culture?

22:51 Scared to reach for it. I will. Yes. Uh, for the culture, dude. I don't got nothing to say.

22:51 You got kidnapped at gunpoint to try to murder Kid Cuddy. You didn't want to tell anybody for the culture.

22:51 That was that lady. She did it for the bag. You think it was the bag? Yeah, that's what I was

22:51 a lot of money. It was just the craziest excuse to be like, "Yeah, I did see him beat the [ __ ] out of his girlfriend. He kidnapped me, but it's like, you know, just like overall for the culture, it's like what? You're not going to tell about the murderous rapist?"

23:20 That didn't feel like a real sense. That felt like like something that Diddy told her.

23:20 Yeah. Then like for the culture, you think Capricorn was capping got the name from her name is Cap, dude. I can't believe that single thing she said. That cracked me up though. I was like, "What the [ __ ] is that? What are you What are you talking about?"

23:45 Yeah. Every time I hear that, I'm like, "Dude, what are you saying? What the hell are you saying?"

23:45 It's truly like, it's crazy. It's insanity. It's [ __ ] pure insanity. It's very funny.

23:45 It's obviously it's for the culture. It's like, what? What are you talking about?

23:45 White people have to start holding that down. Next time there's like a white collar crime like Enron, just be like, "Dude, we couldn't. It's for the culture, bro.

24:08 It's for the culture." I knew there was insider trading. I knew they were doing all this, but it's for the culture, bro. But yeah, we we did loan Zambia [ __ ] $7 million at 4,000% interest. Zambia,

24:16 where the [ __ ] are you from? Zamibia. But yeah, man. It's It's rough, man. A lot of the OG black entertainers, it's the line is drawn in the sand. The dudes coming out to like speak up for Diddy are just getting absolutely destroyed. I would never want beef of 50 Cent, man. I just don't I just don't want it because they're coming out and they're going like it's [ __ ] obviously it's clearly [ __ ] and it's just they're getting destroy it's like the worst thing they can possibly Why would they speak up for him right now?

24:48 Are they on That's my thing. Are they on cam? Tony Ao was at the mothership on Tuesday.

24:48 He's doing like a press tour. He's doing like right now. I don't know. He was at the He was at the mothership

24:48 obviously Tony Gun but not Young Buck. They've been be Young Buck and uh they've been beefing with Young Buck.

24:48 Yeah, to this is it. Yeah. So, it's Matt's hip hop corner. True. Gather around now. Y'all

25:17 do you start over like trans stuff. Uh Young Buck that Yeah, that was the Also, the thing is this every one of these like hip-hop [ __ ] beefs is purely internet speculation. Yeah. Yeah, it's very fun to just be like, "Wasn't it over trans stuff and somebody was gay?" [ __ ]

25:17 what? But that usually kind of is part of it. Unfortunately, it is coming out that it is mostly that.

25:50 So, but yeah, that that documentary, man, that was great. I uh it was Yeah, very well done. When they when you start it up and you're going, "How the [ __ ] did he get this video?" Still there. People are trying to get the source. People are trying to figure out who it was and you know they're getting close but

25:50 who the videographer was. The videographer he's in trouble. I don't think so, bro. He's going to get shot.

25:50 You think he's going to get shot? Yeah, but you Diddy is going to kill everyone.

26:13 But he doesn't pay anybody. It's in the thing being like It doesn't matter. Yeah, true.

26:13 He never cared about he he'll kill you. Yeah, true. Although he has to hire a henchmen. Where's he going to get the henchmen now?

26:13 The henchmen are going to go like they always have be like he said he's going to give me a million bucks.

26:13 True. True. [ __ ] He didn't pay me. Yeah, the henchmen afterwards. I'm not gonna tell them though because it's for the culture.

26:34 Yeah, true. If the henchman, if it was true, their story that they like killed Tupac and then sat right outside, watched the ambulance pull up and then just went and smoked weed and partied is [ __ ] wild.

26:34 They were bad henchmen, you know? They got away with it. They stood there. They were the best henchmen ever.

26:34 It was cuz of Diddy. He wasn't The guy's in jail. The guy was in jail for something else, though. Like the guy

26:34 Yeah, but dude, they're henchman. They're [ __ ] killing people and just chilling outside with the kill.

26:59 When you're a henchman and you don't get your money, you got to go kill the boss.

26:59 Yeah, but who do you think is going to sit around and kill somebody in Las Vegas for you just like that? It's not going to be like a D. It's not John Wick. These guys are [ __ ] very, you know,

26:59 they're making bad choices all the time. Yeah, these guys are making terrible choices.

26:59 Yeah. And they got away. They did a good job as far as henchmen go. I think Diddy made they're like you only got pox so you only get half.

27:23 They didn't even Yeah, true. That was fair on it to the deal was both. Yeah. So deal was both.

27:23 Bofa. What's a buffer? The holidays are basically one long combo of eating too much, drinking too often, and not moving at all. It's fun, but your system ends up taking a hit.

27:23 Gosh. dose for your liver helps aid digestion and promote liver function so you can enjoy the season without crashing halfway through. It's a smart, easy thing to take daily that helps your body process everything you're throwing at it. No guilt, no lectures, just actual support. That's nuts. Uh Matt, could you hit me with some discussion prompts?

27:58 Let me see. Please discuss your experience with overindulging. What's your body What's your body trying to tell you after your third party in a row?

27:58 I mean, I don't It depends on what kind of overindulging we're talking about. Are we talking food? Are we talking sex?

28:27 I can tell you exactly. My mind's telling me no. But my body. Uh, no. I I I've Dose is good. It tastes good

28:27 for sure. Yeah, that's it. Love that stuff. That's all you need to say about that.

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28:59 Guys, please come. I'll be at the Springfield Comedy Club in Springfield, Missouri uh this weekend 1212 1213. It's going to be good. You got some good openers.

28:59 Oh yeah. I got the Mi Man. The Mi I got the Mi Man. They going to get to see the Miis, too.

28:59 Yep. The Miis in the flesh. Uh Syracuse, New York. I'll be there 12:19, 12:20 at the Funny Bone. And then go to mattcusker.com. I'm going to do a bunch of shows come January 16th all over the country. Thank you.

29:32 Yeah, if you're in Philly, buy tickets to the show at the link and uh you should do that. There's going to be some very good special guests. The ticket will be worth it. Even if I suck cuz it's in a stadium,

29:32 the show's going to be worth it. Thank you. Oh, La Mer. Sure. Hey everybody, it's me, La May.

29:32 Why don't you promise to the camera you're going to stop drinking and driving? I I promise.

30:01 Yeah, dude. All right, go ahead about your [ __ ] [ __ ] I do promise. December 17th in Alb, New York. Please come out. I'll be there. And also January 15th at the Hill Alpharetta. Please, plea, please come.

30:01 And Optimum Knocked us December 16th actually. They've been really fun recently. They've been a hoot.

30:01 Hell yeah. That is pretty wild. I always wondered though, why didn't Suge Knight then try to kill Diddy?

30:01 You know what I mean? If it was definitely him and he was in the car, he saw the gun, man. So, I was curious why Suge Knight didn't try to kill, did he?

30:31 No, he didn't. He's in jail right now. Is Sug Knight's in jail? I think he's in jail.

30:31 Ran over that guy. Yeah. Yeah, I watched a weird like uh like one of the Shawn Blazington type videos of uh them interviewing Suge Knight and he was corroborating everything that 50 was saying.

30:31 Really? He's really skinny now though. They're I mean I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't talk about this, but

30:59 what the hell you think you're going to get touched? I The culture is speculating that he has like an autoimmune deficiency type deal.

30:59 He might. What the hell? What the [ __ ] acting like it's like a crazy conspiracy. He probably does. Oh, you're saying like autoimmune

30:59 saying Suge has AIDS. That's what the culture was saying in the YouTube video that I watched.

30:59 I don't like that. I don't like I'm just I don't know why I even brought it up.

31:23 I don't like talking about that. But him having AIDS potentially. Yeah. I don't even really want to talk about

31:23 Oh, you thought he You thought he might have been You're afraid Suge is going to get you. Sean Gardini.

31:23 Sean Gardini. You have to be scared this Suge is going to get you. Yeah. I'm not [ __ ] saying it. I'm saying Sean Gardini is saying that on a pretty massive platform.

31:45 Yeah, you should. You're going to edit this out. No, I'm not. Well, I'm not going to

31:45 You're saying what the streets? You got your ear to the streets. Yeah, the streets are talking. I'm not You know,

31:45 he could be on like jail house. Yeah, it could be. Could be cooking up just good diet and exercise.

31:45 True. Eat allegedly. That's This is all alleged. These are all alleged rumors. We need that documentary. La Mayer, you got to spearhead that doc. How did these get AIDS?

32:10 It's straight out of conflict, dude. He got spearheaded documentary. He's puking under has AIDS.

32:10 No, not yet. Not yet. Do people even get AIDS anymore? People still get it, I guess.

32:10 Yeah, it's But it's totally manageable from what I heard. Yeah. Like I've had it now for like 10 years. It's not a big deal.

32:10 I catch it I catch it every right around when the seasons change. I got it once I got once I got my third booster. I got HIV. It wasn't a big deal. It wasn't a huge deal at all.

32:39 Just kidding. Anyway, oh, there's a lot of college football drama. Enough of Matt's hip hop corner. True. Now it's time for Shane's sports corner. We've covered the culture. Now it's time to cover sports. Notre Dame got [ __ ] Not a big deal. Notre Dame got diddied in front of everybody

32:39 and that's fine. We got diddlered about as hard as it gets. Who done it? It's a committee. It was a committee. They they they lied on us for weeks. They lied on us. They put us They ranked us ahead of Miami and Alabama for for weeks and weeks. And then both teams not playing, they go, "They're better." Wait a second.

33:09 How the hell's that? Now look, I'll give them Bama or excuse me, I'll give them Miami

33:09 cuz Miami, they both went 10 and two and Miami beat them. Granted, it was week zero. It was in August and Notre Dame starting a freshman quarterback for the first time on the road and they lost by a field goal with one minute left.

33:36 Okay. Still they played the game and they lost. Yeah. Give us the 1993 title. Now

33:36 we get the 93 title if that's how we're doing it. But then Miami proceeds to lose to SMU and Louisville who are fair to Midland.

33:36 Quality but fair to Midland. Those are not great losses. Uh, Notre Dame rattles off 10 straight wins by an average of 30 points a game. Killed everybody the rest of the year. Uh, but push comes to shove. They give it to the headto-head winner, which I I can I was all for Miami getting in over Notre Dame in that scenario. But Bama

34:08 is nine and two or 10 and two going into the conference championship game. Now,

34:08 the logic is you shouldn't be punished for playing a conference championship game. It's an extra game against Georgia, who's one of the best teams.

34:08 Yeah. But you get killed in the conference championship game. You get killed. You lose 28 to7 with negative three rushing yards total. You get bullied.

34:35 Yeah. Don't move. Don't drop it a single rank. You stay above no. Come on now. That's [ __ ] [ __ ]

34:35 That's crazy. That is crazy. But it's just the that's drama and people where people kind of like gloat and send you nasty stuff about

34:35 obviously I'm still receiving nasty messages non-stop. [ __ ] Notre Dame. [ __ ] you. You [ __ ] [ __ ] And that's fine. That's fine.

34:35 What does it effect though? It's just the standings or Well, that knocked Notre Dame out of the playoffs.

35:00 What? Miami and Alabama. Miami and Alabama got in. Not Dame's out. That's [ __ ] [ __ ] bro.

35:00 It hurt, bro. I woke up that morning going, "No might win a national championship."

35:00 Oh, dude. Watched. It's a live show that they unveil the rankings and who's in and everybody's like, "Oh, shit." Like, cuz all the ESPN announcers the whole time they're like, "Nreame should be out." They've advocated against Notre Dame. So, I'm like getting a little worried. I'm like, "Fuck, they're gonna [ __ ] us." Then I check the Vegas odds and Notame's a lock. Like, all right. So, Vegas thinks Notre Dame's in. I'm confident.

35:25 Yeah. Not gets [ __ ] What? So, I go from thinking, "We got a chance this year. We got a lot of talent. We could compete for a title." Then later that day, they declined to even play in a bowl game and the season's just over.

35:25 What? Yeah. Notre Dame's done. Why did they play the bowl game? It's a good question, Matt. But I like it. I like their decision.

35:47 They're like, "Fuck you guys then." Yeah, they were like, "Fuck you guys then?" because it would have made ESPN and the ACC money and both of them

35:47 campaigned against Notre Dame. Yeah. Let them feel the pain. Also, half our team was going to sit out

35:47 cuz it's a meaningless It was They were like, "All right, you can't win a national title, but you can play in the [ __ ] Poptart Bowl in Orlando.

36:06 [ __ ] you. How are they looking next year?" I mean, I'm already thinking next year.

36:06 They're [ __ ] They're going to be nasty, brother. They're going to be fired. And they got a chip on their shoulder.

36:06 And guess who's coming to town next season? Miami. Oh, we're gonna [ __ ] them up, dude. I can't wait.

36:06 Yeah, it's gonna be a fun one. Yeah, dude. That I I kind of like them getting snubbed and having a little chip on the shoulder.

36:30 I do, too. But the thing that hurts is we'll never get to see Jeremiah Love run the rock for the Irish again.

36:30 That sucks. Devastating. Thought to get a few more games out. Who do they got? Who do they got? Like, what's the They're a young team, aren't they?

36:30 They are, but we lose. We We'll be all right. Transfers and the recruiting classes the last couple years have been pretty nasty. Yeah.

36:30 This year's Oh, I'm so excited to see these young boys play football. True. You know,

36:52 I'm sorry that happened. That sucks. Yeah, it was a devastating day. That's [ __ ]

36:52 Then the the Eagles lost in embarrassing fashion again. Forget that. Uh Bears lost for the Packers, too.

36:52 Yeah, I was rooting the Bears on. They're my I understand I understand rooting for the Bears.

36:52 My number two team. You got to support the Bears. Especially if it's the Packs,

36:52 especially like those consistent basement dwellers finally being good. Yeah, true.

37:12 That's fun, dude. To see the Lions come out of the basement, you go look at you boys.

37:12 It'd be like if the Browns were good, you'd go, "Yeah, [ __ ] yeah." Uh but more importantly, Michigan's head coach

37:12 Yeah. just got fired yesterday. For what? Originally it was for cause. So on the contract

37:12 Mhm. you can get fired and not get like if you have a cause to get fired. Okay.

37:12 So the initial statement is for cause. That's a general. Then you go, what did he do? He was banging a couple of the uh female uh like recruiting assistants,

37:40 bro. And uh yeah, there's some nasty footage out there. Really? Him like standing next to her before a game like

37:40 apparently a text that came out that was just like, "Yo, come get me head." Oh,

37:40 now that one I don't know how valid that is, but then he got uh detained by the cops.

37:40 What? Allegedly for what? I don't know. I think he went to somebody's house and I think he threatened uh

38:13 I think he threatened to exit this word the the earth you know whoa publicly I think he said you want to [ __ ] ruin my life [ __ ]

38:13 respectable power move you want to ruin my life yeah respectable power move obviously

38:13 now that was allege allegation you know that is a I mean it's respectable if you're winging out that hard and then it's like everything I'm getting

38:13 you had a wife and kids so that's where it's like I'd imagine that that's kind of the last move to be like I'll kill my [ __ ] self dude.

38:34 Yeah. God forbid I had a little bit of fun. Now you want to ruin my whole life.

38:34 I am going to kill myself and it's your fault. The thing we got to find out cuz this is classic dirty Michigan.

38:34 Classic dirty Michigan. Yeah. Did they know that this happened? Cuz somebody tweeted about it like two weeks ago.

38:34 Little Sanduski Joe actually. Somebody said, "I know what I Shiron's getting fired and this is why." And everybody ignored it. Now, the reason they would ignore it is so they could sign their recruiting class that they already had committed and then go, "Actually, that guy's a scumbag. He's out, but you got signed. You got to play for Michigan."

39:04 They tried to They tricked high school kids on top of their coach being a dirt bag.

39:04 And you know, Dirt Bag's strong, but it's getting a little head. Come on. Boils. I mean, all that kind of stuff.

39:04 By the way, dude, I can't can't That stuff boils down to the team, though. If you're in such a leadership position, you can't be out here wowing out like that. Lamar, could you do some research? Is there a quarterback transferring

39:28 from Michigan? Yeah. Underwood. I feel like as a co if I were the coach of college program, I'd be like, "Guys, I'm not going to come this entire season unless we win the championship."

39:28 Yeah. And which is what they had. Their last coach, their national champion coach, Jim Harbaugh.

39:50 Yeah. Just a beast. Full-blown autist. Really? He would never come like that. No, you can't.

39:50 He'd literally be like, "What? What are you talking about?" Yeah. I feel like for the

39:50 He's drinking milk, dude. That's the best. He drinks milk. He doesn't He takes his shirt off to play seven on seven with high school kids.

39:50 He wore khakis shirtless and played seven on seven. He's the [ __ ] Jim Harval is the man.

39:50 Yeah. I feel like as a coach, you can't try to be out here getting [ __ ] and be cool. Dude, you got to be totally focused on the game.

40:14 I agree. I mean, players obviously should be too, but when I hear about coaches trying to get [ __ ] I'm like, dude, knock it off, man.

40:14 Wait till you find out about Lane Kein. What's up with him? Bad man. The boy is a real bad man. He's not afraid to talk to college girls while being the head coach at Old Miss.

40:14 Can't do it, man. Which can you blame him, bro? Can you imagine? Sority girls from Old Miss.

40:39 Are So, are they trying to take down the coach like that? Yeah. Well, the only reason they're taking down Lane Keifin now is cuz he left to take the LSU job from Old Miss, which his team has one loss and they're going to the playoffs and he still quit.

40:39 The whole sports just Yeah. What the hell's going on? Money. Yeah, money changed the sport entirely.

40:39 Dan, these guys are superstars now. They're all stars. Players, coaches, they're all It's strictly business.

41:03 Yeah. Brian Kelly taught us that at Notre Dame, dude. We've been burned before.

41:03 True. But we got diddied. We [ __ ] We hired him after he he made He took Cincinnati from like Cincinnati. Took him to a Sugar Bowl

41:03 like undefeated and then he quit before the bowl to take the Notre Dame job. Abandoned his team before the biggest game in school history. kind of crazy, man.

41:28 It was kind of the right move cuz they were playing Florida and they were definitely going to get butt [ __ ] Go. I went undefeated. You guys [ __ ] lost and I got 30 mil. So,

41:28 yeah. I mean, couldn't they just let him play that one last game? Sometimes they do that. But yeah.

41:28 Or they're like, "We need you. Hurry up." Yeah. Get over here. And when Kein left, he took a lot of the staff, too. Old Miss loss. Like the coaching staff.

41:28 Dang. I didn't know there was so much drama going down. A lot of drama. I still think with all the apps now that you have to like if you want to watch a g a sport it's like does YouTube TV cover like every sport thing

41:52 or is there still teams where it's like you got to pay a monthly? It depends. If you're if you're Notre Dame and you're a national brand and everyone loves you, you're going to be on TV.

41:52 Yeah, for sure. Uh no, they cover the big games. Yeah. I feel like the gambling apps the least they can do is pull together some money and just stream every game for free.

42:15 Of course, that's what they should do. that that would be the right thing, right?

42:15 I saw that at a bar, which is the smartest thing I've seen, was uh one of those like FanDuel or DraftKings or one of those had a TV network and it was showing like Serbian basketball at like 3:00 a.m.

42:15 It's the least they can do. Like that's what you First off, you're going to make so much money.

42:15 Yeah, true. Get the rights to Japanese [ __ ] baseball. Yeah. And just show it at [ __ ] 3:00 a.m. when everyone's drunk.

42:38 Especially I think that's the least they can do. Especially after like, you know, the guy who was on the app for 6 months, lost everything, punched his wife's in jail. He should at least be able to watch sports

42:38 in jail. He should be like, "Fuck, I wish I could be gambling on this." [ __ ] [ __ ] wife said, "I'm not allowed."

42:38 But at least they're streaming every game for free. Which cuz that's what I've been hearing. It's like a pain in the ass. Like, where's the game on? Like, oh, you need this thing. You got to go to this app and it's like

43:00 like certain sports like baseball, especially here in Texas where it's like you can't get local.

43:00 Yeah. Like I had to buy the baseball thing to watch the Phillies. Yeah. Nate had to buy the league pass to watch the 76ers who are still fun.

43:00 That Lakers game, the Lakers game. Look, I hate to hate to lose, but watching LeBron have fun.

43:23 Watching LeBron watching LeBron have fun. The only thing I did like is the crowd was so hyped for him. Got it at the same time.

43:23 Like you get to watch LeBron hoop one last time. When he would dunk, I was like,

43:23 still got it. How long he's been playing? How long has he been in the league now?

43:23 Has to be like 20 21 years. 22 years. What? Yeah. Yeah. I was in like We were kids.

43:23 Yeah, we were kids. Jesus Christ. That's crazy. He's played against like players and their dads. Like he's been in the league so long he's played against dads that now have

43:49 on generations. Yeah. Yeah. He's dunked on [ __ ] different generations. Yeah. He's kind of the maners in the NBA because

43:49 what do you do to starters? He's Thanos, dude. He killed the starters. He just dumped

43:49 the hardways, the Everyone's getting [ __ ] whole family lines getting wiped. The Curries are next.

44:24 Curry. Yeah, LeBron. I'm rooting for LeBron's son. Everyone was hating on him. Yeah,

44:24 kind of rooting for him. Oh, you know who I'm rooting for? Shidor. Are you really? How is he turning around?

44:24 I I started to cheer for him when he dropped in the draft. Yeah. be fun to see him do well and unfortunately got sent to the [ __ ] Browns where

44:24 Yeah, you you're never gonna every quarterback that's ever been sent there just dies.

44:24 True. But he played all right. He's doing all right. Is he really? He's starting now the rest of the season.

44:47 It's kind of sick. Yeah. I hope he does well. Also, Dion kind of shut the [ __ ] up a little this year.

44:47 He chilled out. I think his team sucked. What Colorado do? What was Colorado football's record?

44:47 Bryce Underwood transfer from Michigan. Uh they're saying it looks like it didn't like

45:13 Yeah, you don't you don't really hear much about the Buffalo. That was a big That was big news last year.

45:13 They they were and then they the Buffalo never really did a single thing. So they kind of had to

45:13 move on. Yeah, that was kind of stoking racial division as hard as that was crazy.

45:13 Just for the check for 2024, dude. They were three and nine this year. They were three and nine.

45:13 Yeah. Oh, I had a feeling cuz Neon was awfully quiet. So, they didn't change. It was time to take the humble approach.

45:39 Didn't change the game after all. That was They was like posing it like it was like a sports revolution that was going to change the game.

45:39 Yeah, they they had a black coach. It's the first time in the history of uh football.

45:39 That's crazy, dude. Other than Notre Dame, but whatever. Maybe he's not a dick. But yeah, that's another one. Like I would [ __ ] on them and then you look into how [ __ ] nasty Dion was and it's like I understand why he's insane.

46:06 Yeah. Every He deserves to be insane. He was like the greatest, dude. Every time we played backyard football, it would just be 12 kids pretending to be Neon Deion every time.

46:06 High step. Yeah. The whole time. Yeah. High step. Little shuffle when you score.

46:06 The whole time. Yeah. That's good sports talk though. It's a lot going on. I've been hitting you with like the girl version of sports talk. You know what I mean? I'm giving you the drama. Give me the dirty deets.

46:28 We're not talking ball. We're talking off field issues. Talking the narrative. We're talking,

46:28 you know. I love the narrative. You got to see your boy Keining. What are you up to?

46:28 Just the the text. The girls are You can't obviously, dude, if you talk to college girls, they're going to [ __ ] post it.

46:28 I know. And they take they would like one girl would hold her Snapchat and the other girl would take a picture of it and be like, "Don't tell your boyfriend about this. Haha. Come over to my house." It's like, dude, you you're cucking a [ __ ] high a [ __ ] college kid, dude. That's evil.

46:49 I know. I know. Some poor kid that's a fan of yours that's a fan of the school. He's going to the games like toddy. Come on, old miss.

46:49 Slides the visor backwards. Time for a [ __ ] Yeah. I just don't like the idea of coaches getting a bunch of [ __ ] from Kyle. Like, it's just bothers me. Bothers me deeply.

47:18 It should. You're a hard ball man. True. You would love Jim Harbaugh. I really like the sound.

47:18 As much as I talk [ __ ] on Michigan, Harbaugh's the man. Yeah, I I just They cheated. But awesome.

47:18 True. I wish I wish Notre Dame would cheat. I don't give a [ __ ] Cheat win, please.

47:18 True. Thank you for forgiving us later. This episode is brought to you by Aura Frames. Oh yeah. Last minute shopping for gifts is the worst. The shelves have been picked clean. And really, if you've been putting it off this long, there's a good chance you have no idea what they even want. You know,

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49:28 Yeah, that's Damn, that's [ __ ] crazy, man. Who do you got for the NFL winning the stupid bowl?

49:28 The birds. The birds are going to come back, dude. I know it. I know it. I know it. We're going to come back.

49:59 Are they even in like the wild card, Ronnie? Yeah, they're still top of the division.

49:59 Okay. But they're sliding. Yeah. What the hell? They just lost three straight. Do you think it was?

49:59 And that means they lost five of the last seven. Right. Cuz it was two losses, then two wins, then three losses.

49:59 It's not too late to turn on the Jets, but I don't know, man. I think it's just the

49:59 They looked all right. They in the loss. I don't mean to make an excuse. A lot of turnovers, a lot of unfortunate turnovers.

50:24 Yeah. AJ Brown. Yeah, but he's he had a game and and Saquon looked good. They're finally they they could run the ball a little. Let's get some designed runs to Jaylen Herz.

50:24 Yeah. What's the point of having him stand back there and throw? Let's use his legs a little,

50:24 dude. You know what I mean? I'm not against you on that. Let's get a [ __ ] designed run.

50:44 Don't you think though it's a little just like post Super Bowl curse? It's got to be hard to play the season after. You're spending, you know, you're partying up after winning the big Super Bowl. I think I I already rode off this season after they won the Super Bowl. I was like, they're not going to do very well.

50:44 You gota you got to let them taste the pain. got to let them taste the pain and then maybe they'll come back again cuz I didn't want to, you know, deflate your guys spirits, but I saw you guys cheering for the birds. I'm like, "Guys, this is not their year."

51:04 I knew I knew going into the season. I No, it is a true thing that it's it's very difficult to repeat.

51:04 It's crazy. A lot of teams don't make the playoffs after they win. Yeah. I don't know how you would. It'd be impossible. I would still be celebrating like three years later. I would never shut up about it. Every play I'd be sacked 15 yard loss. But yeah, last year we won the whole [ __ ] thing. It was so sick.

51:24 Get a ring, [ __ ] Everybody tackled me. I go, "Dude, you'll never win. I have It's already over. I'm done."

51:24 Like, "Dude, I already cashed in. I'm done." It's also funny. He's getting hit really hard. Like, yeah whatever [ __ ]

51:24 Well, even with like Kel, it's like, dude, they him and his brother have a bazillion dollar podcast.

51:24 I think Kelsey's having a good year, though. He had a rough game this week. I'm sure he's good, but it's like you wouldn't catch me going across the middle. The ball a little bit high across the middle. Like, yeah, I got a million-dollar podcast to do one day. I'm not going for that. I'm going to talk about [ __ ] I'm going to sell [ __ ] toilet paper and [ __ ] I'm not doing this.

51:46 Getting crushed across the middle by a young hungry middle linebacker. Like, yeah, I'm good.

51:46 You can have that. I'm I'm also married to Taylor Swift. Yeah, I don't have to catch that ball.

52:11 Yeah, I'm going to get someone. I'll be on the moon, [ __ ] I'll pay someone to catch that for me, bro. Yeah,

52:11 he's got that long money now. True. I'm going to h I'm going to hire a tight end of my own. put him out there, you know chill.

52:11 You should be able to do that. You should be like the draft in the Civil War. You should be like 300 bucks, I can send someone else out. I You know what I always want people to do? Just all the young people out there working. It's like I don't understand why people don't do this. If you have a remote job, from my understanding, it doesn't take up that much of your time. Like it doesn't take it's not like a 40hour non-stop thing. You're at your house, you're kind of answering emails. apply for three or four remote jobs, get all of them, and then outsource it all to dudes in like Pakistan.

52:38 Do like data entry, some like easy dumb [ __ ] and then just get like three salaries at once.

53:02 Get like three like modest salaries and then just hire dude. You have a [ __ ] warehouse in Pakistan.

53:02 You can hire dudes on Fiverr and give them [ __ ] You can get 30 bucks an hour and pay dudes 10 and just have like four salary jobs and just boss up. the future of probably what dudes were doing with like contracts.

53:02 Yeah. Being like, "Yeah, I'll sign this contract to redo your porch." Yeah. You sub it out and

53:02 go, I'm going to [ __ ] Home Depot right now. And be like, "Boys, I'll give you 10 bucks. Go build that [ __ ] porch."

53:28 I know. That's what I'm saying. But nobody subs out white. You never hear about an employee subbing out work. They got that [ __ ] They got the broke They got the broke mind virus, dude.

53:28 They do. It's the broke mind virus. All they know is sitting their sweatpants in their house like, "Oh, I don't feel like going on this Zoom." It's like, "Hold on a second. There's That's not the broke mind virus. That's what I'm doing right now.

53:46 Sitting at sweatpants going, I don't feel like going on TV or the Zoom. Yeah, but just whail out. Just [ __ ] blank screen

53:46 guy from [ __ ] Nepal. Just be like, "Yes buddy." Sorry, guys. I have a cold. Excuse my my accent. Like, yes, buddy. Very good. Just you're talking to four Indian guys at once.

53:46 That's a nice [ __ ] squad. Just a chorus. Like, yes. Okay. That'd be awesome. that guys. I'm actually working uh remote. I'm in [ __ ] Kaboola right now. Forgive my internet connection.

54:17 Yeah, time. That's a great idea, man. I'm telling you, I wish I wish people would do that. I would do that right now. If I had to get a job again, I would I would just get nine jobs. I'd apply for nine jobs, get as many as I can. Completely lie on your resume as hard.

54:17 You have a company, dude, at that point. Yeah. You'd be the boss. Be the boss. Be the employee boss. You'd be an employee, but the boss. You'd be the secret boss.

54:41 Also, it's so easy to get those jobs. just be like find like a local especially if you're in like a shitty town.

54:41 Mhm. Just where people are kind of, you know, you just go to like a car dealership and be like, I'll be the social media manager,

54:41 dude. Done. Any data entry job. Just go to any any shitty company and go, I'll be your social media manager.

54:41 You got to hire an Indian to post [ __ ] on Facebook once a week. Piece of cake.

54:41 Five grand a month. True. Here we go. True. That's all you got to do. That's my That's my That's the business corner. We did the sports corner. Now we're in business.

55:06 Now back to business. What is this? The money channel. But man, bench. Dude, I did a uh last two nights ago, I I got to go to my kids like Christmas concert for the school.

55:06 Dude, must have rocked. It was so awesome. It's also funny cuz like tear up at all.

55:06 Yeah, big time. I I was like laughing. Seen the little angels, dude. Especially Yeah. My the uh my the youngest went up too and she was like facing the wrong way the whole I don't know how was facing sideways.

55:35 She's sitting there like turn around. Dude, I was damn it. I was dying cuz all the kids are they take it all very seriously. Yeah.

55:35 And then I just watched my daughter just like turn around. She would start like poking people next to her and then like a part of the song she knew it and she would turn around and put her hands here and be like singing as loud as she could. But it was funny because as the kids get older, you know, like kindergarten, it's still boys and girls going pretty hard. Once you hit like second, third grade, you can see the boys start being like, I don't want to do this [ __ ] anymore. And the girls carry the performance so hard. It's the boys are like they had to clap and move a little bit. And you see the girls just like

56:19 belting it out and the dudes are just existing being like, "Come on, man. Let me the [ __ ] out." It's so funny watching that as the years progress to where dudes just immediately are like, "I'm not doing this shit."

56:19 Girls really take that [ __ ] so seriously. They never stopped taking that kind of [ __ ] seriously.

56:19 If you were to get like eight women right now like, "Yo, you guys got to make up a dance and put on a song and they'd be like, "Okay." It would be so serious about

56:41 it's going to look like [ __ ] But it was it was really funny. Taking it was taking me back to grade school when you just sit up there and you're like, "God damn it, I feel so weird. My brother's out there laughing at me right now."

56:41 I got [ __ ] every year on that. Every year I'd be like, "I'm going to get a good role in this." They put me in the back the [ __ ] uh tableau. Was it What was it called? the uh like where you do the nativity scene.

56:41 Yeah. Yeah. Isn't it the tableau? I don't know if it's called the tableau. It's called something. It

57:05 could be. It's It's going to be tough to Google that. Uh I always wanted to be a shepherd or a wise man.

57:05 I I got shepherd one and I got uh hold a banner and go like this. Just shake a banner.

57:05 What were you aiming for? Like Joseph? I could have got Joseph. Joseph. Could have got baby Jay.

57:05 Baby Jay would have been I could have laid down and gone. just rise up and go on just skip forward and start attacking the Jews.

57:30 They're here. Get them. You will not turn my father's temple. But yeah, man. That was uh the concert was sick. It was really funny watching.

57:30 You told me you're doing that and I was like, damn, that's going to be nice. That was so nice, dude. Yeah, this and like dude, Mai takes it so seriously. We have I have video footage.

57:30 [ __ ] I knew it. It's in there cuz that was a big That was a big moment cuz we had a playable. We had a play for all the kids that could be nice and act and be good and then all the shitty kids were in the tableau where all you have to do is stand there for like 5 seconds and pretend to be the nativity.

57:55 Yeah. But didn't you do you get to hold a cane as a shepherd? I got to hold a cane one year and then the next year I I literally just stood behind everyone and shook a banner back and forth. My parents had to be like, "This kid's a [ __ ] bum already. He's [ __ ] loser. There's [ __ ] 20 kids in his class. He got last. He got the last job.

58:21 I've told this before. We had to do a play and uh and I immediately it was like I I was so older brother pill that I was like, "Nah, dude. Being in any play is gay. I'm stage crew."

58:21 Well, that's what that's how it that's what happened. I got in there and you're like supposed to audition. I was like, "I'm not going to [ __ ] do this.

58:21 I'm going to make fun of this." Play the play. I'm holding the banner going "Fuck

58:45 that guy looks cool as [ __ ] dude. He got to play Joseph." And the girl I liked played Mary. That was always

58:45 She looked [ __ ] hot as [ __ ] is married. Why Why is it always How do they know the hottest chick is married every time?

58:45 And yeah, over the May Do you guys do a May procession? What's that? We did this thing uh around It's actually kind of pagan now that I think about it, but in our Catholic school, we would do this thing where it was like around May, the hottest chick would be Mary. Basically, we would all It was like the May Queen.

59:08 Wow. So, we would all like follow Pagan, dude. It is kind of pagan, bro. Fully pagan.

59:08 It is very pagan. But we'd have the May Queen. A little sprinkling for the make wings.

59:08 And we like follow it was like a procession. They would just take like the hottest chick with the biggest boobs in your class. They like, "Yeah, she's married.

59:28 She's got the biggest tit. She's married. She look like she could bear a child." And uh Yeah. And we'd all just like follow her. And that was the one I'd be like, "God, she looks so beautiful, dude. This is that would that would [ __ ] me up."

59:28 Yeah. But during the play, I remember stage crew as soon as any of the actors would get called like it was like their cue to go out, I would hold on to the back of their costume. They come on, let me go, let me go. We do that in standup.

59:51 Yeah. Yeah. I grab people over there like, "Oh, you're going out. Get the [ __ ] off."

59:51 Yeah. It was so fun. But yeah, my cousin landed the hero role. He he landed like the main role and we were all just backstage. We were and he kind of killed it and we were all just like [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] That's so lame.

59:51 Then you see him on stage next to the babe and you'd be like, "Fuck you." Which I was there next to the babe instead of in the back.

59:51 [ __ ] Yeah, it was awesome. Christmas play ruled. Then you sing Joy to the World at the end. Same at the end end of Christmas mass.

1:00:15 That's the only time I would belt in church. You could get me belt. I would hit the hardest.

1:00:15 JTW? Yes. That'd be awesome. You guys don't know [ __ ] about JTW. Yeah, I went to Cathol.

1:00:15 You got kicked out for being a sex pervert. Yeah, but I made it through seven grades of it. I went through I did the singing. Well, we didn't have to do a play though. We had to do

1:00:42 You were the donkey in the play. I was always whatever. I brought you out dressed like a donkey. No.

1:00:42 Get the sex pervert in the dunkey suit. Yeah. What were you, Nate? Were you like a wise man from the east?

1:00:42 We didn't do the play. We from Zambia. Said there's a wise man from Zambia coming up. He's here in red in Pennsylvania.

1:00:42 We did we did the songs from sister act. I had to do the rap part. Which one? Huh? Joyful joyful lord or it was called. Yeah. And I still remember the last.

1:01:10 Oh, I thought I was hoping it was going to be Oh, happy day. That was a good one. That was great. I think we might have had to do that too, but I didn't do those are the two songs we always did two from a movie. I can't remember. I just remember doing uh

1:01:10 Joyful Joyful Lore and then we did the year before that we did Oliver and uh it was just like food glorious food. I don't know why but that's what we do.

1:01:10 That's nice. That's awesome. Mayor, did you ever participate in any holiday plays?

1:01:33 No. Why not? I don't think my school could afford it. Could afford a [ __ ] play? It's free

1:01:33 in Detroit. Yeah, it's free. Yeah, but like they didn't like they didn't make us do it.

1:01:33 No, it's not. I think Reing in Detroit I think Reading might have a case here. It's just it's smaller, but it's you know, it's just

1:01:33 Hey, dude. Pretty [ __ ] poor. Although Detroit might be holding it down as number one poorest.

1:02:07 Yeah, they might have the broke mind virus. Yeah. Why are you competing? We're competing for poverty. It's not good.

1:02:07 That was Gardini. He came up with that. Give credit where it's due. Yeah. The Gardiner.

1:02:07 Um I have a surprise behind me if you want to What is it? Um Okay, hold on. It's a birthday cake for Shane. Yeah.

1:02:07 Oh, it's Shane's birthday today. It's your special day. You got him that little bitty cake.

1:02:38 I thought it was going to be bigger. I thought it was going to be bigger. I thought they were supposed to come with candles, too. They didn't give me a cupcake,

1:02:38 bro. That's a slap in the [ __ ] face. Show that to the camera. Jackson privately. You want to get shady cake? I'm like, "Yeah, get him a cake."

1:02:38 Bro, that's a slap in the [ __ ] face. Smack it out of his hand. I will. You bring this to me on my day.

1:03:06 That was the cake's perfectly intact. That was Matthew's idea to slap it. I would never do something. Yo, did you walk?

1:03:06 It's an Oreo cake. Thank you. Did you walk four miles and get it? Did you walk and get it?

1:03:06 No. No, I didn't. This looks very good. Got it delivered. Thank you. It needs to be uh defrosted before serving.

1:03:06 I got a frozen cake. You got me a frozen. We got to let it sit at room temperature for 30 to 45 minutes.

1:03:06 What the [ __ ] is that? I mean, no candles. No candles. I ordered the candles. I forgot the candle.

1:03:36 He did buy me some Zuns this morning. That's That's Jill. And I tried to get candles at the CVS. They didn't have them.

1:03:36 That's okay. I appreciate the effort. Thank you. Yeah, the cake is nice. It's not very nice.

1:03:36 It said it served four to five people. Yeah. What the No, it won't. There's false advertising,

1:03:36 dude. That's [ __ ] up. I try so hard for you guys. So, you guys give me one [ __ ] cupcake. I tried to get you a nice cake.

1:04:05 No, I don't want a cake. I didn't I knew you wouldn't want it. Possible scenario.

1:04:05 A tiny frozen cake. Where did you get that from? Amy's ice cream. They [ __ ] me. So, uh I totally [ __ ] you.

1:04:05 They said four to five people and I ordered the candles for five extra dollars and they did not give me the candles. Yeah.

1:04:05 So, Amy's, you on my [ __ ] list. No, Amy's is great. Don't Amy's ice cream is good ice cream, but not known for their [ __ ] birthday cakes apparently.

1:04:38 I like ice cream. So that's why I hate ice cream. I I've always hated ice cream cake ever since I was younger. It's like just have ice cream.

1:04:38 I was so pumped when someone got an ice cream cake. Hated that [ __ ] I don't like cake.

1:04:38 I like ice cream cake. See, I like cake and I like ice cream. Like funfetti though. Funfetti cake.

1:04:38 [ __ ] slam. Some vanilla on there. Yeah, funfetti slamming. You guys could have got funfetti cake. Guys, I'm 38 years old. I need a funfetti cake.

1:05:01 What color of frosting? Funfetti frosting. I like the way the sprinkles taste in there,

1:05:01 dude. He really It's like I can taste them, man. Yeah, when you have them like these do give you a taste

1:05:01 cuz it is just vanilla. It's a delicious treat. But funfetti is so [ __ ] good. Funfetti ice cream.

1:05:01 Am you get me for my birthday? Just a big fat puke in the bathroom. Just a puke in my bathroom. I could

1:05:33 You jacked off in my house and puked in said, "Happy birthday, brother." Going to spill every bodily fluid in your house for your birthday.

1:05:33 He did. I did eat some chicken Alfredo he made this week. Where'd you get those noodles?

1:05:33 Uh, they were quality. Everything he made, I couldn't believe how good it was. Thank you. Thank you.

1:05:33 He made chicken alfredo and it was [ __ ] delicious. Get him there as a chef. Yeah.

1:05:56 He said he jabbri everything Jabri learns. He has a twin. Everything his twin learns, he learns, too.

1:05:56 Bri went to culinary school and La mayor got the download. He He did honestly learn everything Jabri knows.

1:05:56 Yeah. Not everything. Everything. Yeah. We were talking about 38's a useless age.

1:06:16 Yeah. It's pretty dumb. Yeah. Nobody gives a [ __ ] 38. 39. I also I thought I was 38 this whole year.

1:06:16 Did you? It was one of the Yeah. I've been already Yeah. I don't know. No, I've been 40 my whole this whole year. Anyone ask him like I'm 40? Pretty. He goes, "You're actually 39." I go, "Shut the hell up. I'm [ __ ] 40."

1:06:16 Yeah. 39's embarrassing. 39 is like, "Don't even talk to me about my age. I'm [ __ ] 50 right now."

1:06:40 I'm 75. I'm dead. Yeah. I'm my Spotify. I I identify as my Spotify age. 73. I think

1:06:40 73. I'm an old soul. But yeah, dude. Dude, I was I was telling you before I came here just I from I think from Saturday morning I had like a two-day hangover from

1:06:40 for sure staying out all night went to like a kids bday at like 11:00 a.m. and I was like I could have just slept but I woke up and I'm like I slept in at like 10:30 and I was like I'm up. That's just crazy. I never sleep in this late. Go to this [ __ ] birthday like a ninja warrior course. I'm just like my head is killing me. My my eyes were my skin felt weird.

1:07:07 Yeah, dude. We were up so late. It was just it was horrible. Kids Bday is insane,

1:07:07 dude. It was it was absolutely brutal. And then I go I take a nap. Before I took a nap, Britney goes, "Oh, we have a bar crawl today." And I was like, "You got to be [ __ ] kidding me." So, we I take a nap, wake up, still hung over.

1:07:07 Yeah. And at like 6:30 p.m., we all went out first to like get food and drinks, and I just like drank a martini or whatchamacallit, espresso martini, just to fight the hangover off. And then just sat there just at every bar like, "Oh."

1:07:31 You only had You only had one. I had and then I sipped like nurse drinks. The problem was every year I last year I had Do you ever have a buttered rum?

1:07:31 I'm not sure, dude. Buttered rum is maybe the perfect holiday drink. It's just rum warmed up with like a quarter stick of butter and maple syrup and cinnamon. Oh, I remember it last year and it was just such a treat and I looked forward to it all year going, "Can't we go back? I can't wait to go back to Miracle on Fifth Street. I'm getting a buttered rum."

1:08:01 Show up and they go, "We only have coconut hot chocolate." I go, "Motherfucker, bro, I'm so hung over." And I was I was banking on this. I was going to get an espresso martini and a buttered rum

1:08:24 and then feel better tomorrow. And they didn't have it. And I might have to make my own buttered rum.

1:08:24 You should. I am. I'm going to make one at Christmas. Delicious. I'm going to put I'm going to, you know, uh, trigger warning to anyone who believes in Santa Claus. I'm going to put all the Christmas gifts together and I'm going to have a buttered rum

1:08:24 and then another one at Christmas dinner. Yeah. I can't wait. That's something to look forward to.

1:08:42 Oh, I can't wait. I look forward to it all [ __ ] year treat in my darkest hour going

1:08:42 uh I don't see the butter drum on the menu but I sure like one we're not making one oh my goodness

1:08:42 I can tell you if if I was if I had gone on a bar crawl that day I would have blacked out

1:08:42 I would have gone as hard as I could I to escape the pain of that hangover see I

1:08:42 I laid in the tomb and just took it on the [ __ ] chin [ __ ] wish man I was I was dying

1:09:08 watched watch college football all day just laid there true then watched not get absolely absolutely [ __ ] the next day.

1:09:08 Oh, you had it that I was watching the Alabama game going, "They're out. We're in. They have to be out." They had negative rushing yards.

1:09:08 How? Notre Dame had more rushing yards. Yeah. Than Alabama in the conference championship game.

1:09:08 Couldn't you do like a math? Is there like a math equation where you go like stat for stat almost?

1:09:32 You can. And Notre Dame's ahead. But I guess there is strength of schedule. Yeah.

1:09:32 Not had a weak ass schedule. Yeah. What are you going to do? There's nothing we can do. Teams backing out. All the they they they joined two conferences now. So they're kind of like two super conferences.

1:09:32 It's just the Big 10 in the SEC. So they're kind of they're starting to like they kind of [ __ ] hate that Notre Dame's independent.

1:09:32 Is there like a Vince McMahon behind this all? Like putting these all together?

1:09:59 No. I mean there's commissioners of conferences for sure, but there's just a ton of money in the SEC in the Big 10. So these schools like Texas and Oklahoma, they were Big 12. It was It used to be a geog geographical fun time.

1:09:59 That makes sense. Yeah. Now it's not. Now UCLA is playing [ __ ] Ruckers. What the [ __ ] is that?

1:09:59 What are we talking about? [ __ ] women's volleyball. They got to get on a [ __ ] charter plane like

1:10:25 on a [ __ ] Wednesday night. You're playing in New Jersey. Yeah, that's kind of nuts. Actually,

1:10:25 you're just a beautiful girl from UCLA. God, I wish I was a beautiful girl from UCLA.

1:10:25 I know. said, "I'm a 38-year-old [ __ ] slob." You know what a beautiful girl from UCLA would have gotten on her birthday?

1:10:25 Oh my god. Diamond bracelet, dude. She would have gotten the whole world what I got. A broken cake from a [ __ ] shitty [ __ ]

1:10:25 From a disgusting [ __ ] smoking cigarettes. The cake smells like cigarettes. It was from all of us, by the way.

1:10:53 You guys all chipped in. Sean quarterbacked it. Sean quarterbacked it. This is from all four of you.

1:10:53 You guys each pay 50 cents. has chipped in.75. How much was that cake? It was 25 bucks plus five for the candles. Yeah,

1:10:53 you got him a $5 cake. No, 25. 25 bucks. Yeah, it's kind of [ __ ] me in the I am with you. You think you get a, you know?

1:10:53 Yeah. Four. At least an 8 incher. I was hoping for eight inches. I was looking for eight inches. Never came. You gave Shane the microbird.

1:11:24 Yeah, you did give me the micro bird. That's the thought that counts. Though, can you imagine if I was a UCLA volleyball girl?

1:11:24 I mean, bro, what my birthday would be like today? Been crazy. Instead, it's just I'm going to lay here.

1:11:24 Champagne. Play Hell Let Loose. Champagne everywhere. I'm going to get the Acon man on the horn.

1:11:51 True. Me and his cousin are going to play Hell Let Loose. I'm going to get killed every 5 seconds. Jog.

1:11:51 Gosh darn it. Well, well, we did it. Yeah. Happy birthday. Thanks, man. Happy birthday.

1:11:51 Another one in the books, dude. We did it. Yeah. Uh, all right. Join the join the Patreon to I mean, we're going to go crazy.

1:11:51 Oh, I have I have I have been actually I'm going to talk about Beaowolf. I started reading Beaolf again.

1:11:51 Perfect. It's the best book ever. Thank you. Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane Secret podcast on Spotify.

1:12:22 Do it.

Questions about this episode

What is discussed in "Ep 589 - Broke Mind Virus"?

In order: 0:00 Jim Jones, Prize Pick; 10:00 50 Cent, Prize Pick; 20:00 50 Cent; 30:00 Notre Dame, Jim Harbaugh; 40:00 Notre Dame, Aura Frames, Bryce Underwood, Jim Harbaugh; 1:00:00 Notre Dame.

What is mentioned in this Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast episode?

11 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Notre Dame, P. Diddy, Prize Pick, 50 Cent, Jim Harbaugh, Aura Frames. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "Ep 589 - Broke Mind Virus"?

The episode runs 1 h 13 min; the transcript is about 16,381 words in 537 timestamped sections.

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