Matt Damon on Being A Girl Dad and Advice for Aspiring Writers & Actors

What this episode is about

Matt Damon discusses his experience as a father of four daughters, sharing that each child is unique and offers the advice to disregard conventional parenting tips, emphasizing the individuality of each child. He also highlights the impressive capabilities of supportive partners, using a friend's admiration for fellow dad Jason Kelsey's wife as an example of exceptional parenting.

Key takeaways

• Kids are like snowflakes: no two are alike, making parenting a thrilling, unpredictable adventure.
• Nurture shapes kids, but their unique spirit is a preloaded software; just don’t overwrite it.
• Remember to breathe; each moment is fleeting—'Don't blink' is advice that deserves a permanent spot on your wall.
• Working with legends reveals the truth: you don't know what you don’t know—embrace every learner's moment.
• In Hollywood, talks about new projects go on forever; patience is the name of the game in this elusive business.

Who speaks in this episode?

• Matt Damon (Guest) · 11 min speaking
• Jason Kelce (Host) · 5 min speaking

What is discussed, and when

1. 0:00 – 3:00: Ming Ming Sai

Notable quotes from "Matt Damon on Being A Girl Dad and Advice for Aspiring Writers & Actors"

• Know, there was a you guys went to eat or at least your wife did at a restaurant in Montana. Ming Sai is the chef there and Ming's a friend of mine and he told and this was the greatest thing. He goes, Jason Kelsey's wife.

  about Ming Ming Sai · at 0:26

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

• Ming Ming Sai — Person · 1 mention · first at 0:32

Books & papers

• Good Will Hunting — Book · 1 mention

Full transcript with timestamps

0:00 Let's go ahead and get into this last segment. It's called We Got to Ask. Uh but you don't have to answer. You can tell us the off. Um you were talking about uh your kids earlier as a fellow father of four girls. Uh what is your piece? What is your best piece of girl dad advice for Jason over here?

0:15 Man, I got nothing. I got nothing for you. You're in it. You're in it. I heard before we started, I heard the kids in the back. I was like, "Oh my god." You know, I do I do have to say it that you know, there was a you guys went to eat or uh at least your your wife did at a restaurant in Montana. Ming Ming Sai is the chef there and Ming's a friend of mine and he told and this was the greatest thing. He goes, "Jason Kelsey's wife

0:41 is a rock star." He goes, "YEAH." YEAH. He literally was like, she came in. He goes, "She's got like an eight-month-old on one arm. She's got a toddler here. She had she had four kids hanging off her. He was like, "She is a boss." It was like,

0:57 it was very, very cool. So, I I don't think I need to give you any advice cuz it sounds like you married the right woman and she's a boss, you know.

1:04 She is a boss and she's got to deal with me, too. A fifth kid. She doesn't even Yeah, I unfortunately missed that cuz I do Monday Night Football, but uh I heard uh she's phenomenal. She's incredible with the kids. The only bit of advice whenever I get I get asked that question too. And my first thing I tell people with advice with kids is don't listen to any advice anybody else gives. You know,

1:26 you got they're all so different. I don't know how you feel about yours, but the moment one comes out, they're like more sensitive. This one's a little bit more like rambunctious. Like every single one of them is like their own person. And it's like right away. Like the moment they start talking, it feels like they're different. Man, I I used to have the I used to be a real, you know, in that nature nurture argument. I I But I'm now on this like nature like that's a thing,

1:53 you know, like your kids show up like that spirit, that soul is there and it's going to do what it's going to do. And and and the nurture part is very important. You're going to be a doubt helping with that. But

2:03 but they really are who they are like right away. and and and uh it's that's like been a profound and they and as they grow older, you still see in their infant face, you still see them as they're

2:16 oh, you know, it's the only thing I'd say an old friend of mine said when my when my 19-year-old was probably 18 months, said, "Don't blink.

2:25 Don't blink." And then that and that is that [ __ ] is real. My daughter broke her collar bone and and uh this morning she was getting ready for school. She's 17. And she asked me to brush her hair. And so I I brushed her hair. And I man it was a mo like I hadn't brushed her hair I don't know eight nine years. You know what I mean? But but you're at that stage now where it's like you get them ready. It's like you're brushing lined up and you got to get right and and those and it's the great and I don't remember the last time

2:59 that I don't remember when I brushed your hair for the last time. It just kind of happened and then life kind of kept going and the changes are so incremental that like you don't realize until until I I ran the hairbrush through her hair and it's the same like all of it. It's you know what I mean.

3:14 Yeah. And it it buckled me, man. It's like so so don't blink. That's awesome. Okay. I like that. I like that a lot. All right. Um you mentioned uh just a second ago about how you know an athlete learns more and they actually know more. They wish they knew more when they were younger. as an actor, writer, producer, is there something you know now that you really wish you knew when you were here?

3:36 Oh my god. Yeah. I mean, it's the same because like it's like it's for me how would I would love to go back and remake all the movies again. You know what I mean? And and uh like I remember, you know, working with Stephen Spielberg early on in my career and going like I don't know enough about film making to be next to this man right now. like I have so many questions and I don't know what the right questions are yet. And so I remember just following him around and just I remember everything that guy ever said to me because I was trying to bank it because I knew it was going to come in handy. And then as you know in the intervening 30 years or whatever I've I I things that he said have come back as I've kind of learned them and oh man that's what he was talking about you know. So those kind of things I I I really got lucky and that I got to work with some amazing people and I'd love to be able to go back through that process

4:26 and work with even if I could just work with the people that I've already worked with again. Um there's so much I didn't know and and uh

4:33 and that's kind of the fun thing about making movies. It's like it's it's it's always a different job. The challenges of a day are always different and u and it's always fun.

4:42 Battle of the Unknown. Well, uh you're talking about uh some of your previous movies. Um, friend of the show, George Clooney, told us that Jesus never listen to anything that guy says.

4:51 Everyone, you guys are in talks with another Oceans movie. Oh, okay. I thought he was going to play some [ __ ] practical joke ON

5:01 I love that. That's immediately where it goes. He's just and he and he and and he'll do the long ones that just go for, you know, it's he set it up nine years ago.

5:10 Um, no. Yeah. Well, they're Yeah, they're talking about it. Um, you know, I don't know. We'll see. uh you know these things there's always they're always talking about it's a it's a it's a weird business. You never know how things will coalesce and um I mean I'd love I love that group of guys and obviously we're we're down a few now. Uh you know um we've lost a couple over the years but like the there's a lot of love in that group for sure. So yeah, if we can get our [ __ ] together that'd be a lot of fun.

5:38 Heck yeah. We have a clip here from school ties where you play a football player.

5:42 Oh yeah. Would Would you mind breaking this play down for us? Sure. Sure. Oh, yeah.

5:49 Oh, let's go. YEAH. No bar, baby. Let's go. Run your ass off for me. It said block your ass off. Yeah. Watch. Watch what Brendan Fraser does to me,

6:02 dude. Look at Brendan Frasier. I really want to I really wanted to score the touchdown.

6:08 That's good. But he's the good player. So, GUESS WHAT MATT? YEAH, THAT'S A TEXTBOOK.

6:16 Team player, baby. This is like This is legendary, dude. Yeah. Not only could I not do the cut block, he actually had to throw me in to the right position.

6:30 Yeah, that was the first uh first feature film that I had a big role in. And Ben's in that movie, too. That was a good It was Ben Ben uh Ben Affleck's in that. Cole Hower's in that. Um, wow. Brendan, Chris O'Donnell's in there. Like, there's a really there's a there's a hell of a group of guys, but we were all 20 years old.

6:51 That's crazy. That was awesome. When you made the movie uh air? Yeah. Did you Did you get a chance to to meet Mike?

6:59 No. Ben Ben went down and talked to Mike and I was supposed to go, but my kids had something that day, so I stayed here. and uh and Ben went down to meet Mike and because this was before we made the deal to do it cuz we knew that if if Mike didn't wasn't down with it then you know

7:18 you guys wanted to respect that a respect it and b like there there would be no like we'd put all this work into a movie and then if if Jordan came out and was like that's [ __ ] like the movie's just dead.

7:28 Yeah. No, I hear you. So but we want we we wanted his his blessing even though you know he wasn't going to be a part of it. it wasn't hit, you know, we But Ben went down and talked to him and and and a lot came out of that meeting. In fact, he gave us kind of people who were more instrumental than we understood from the the original script we read. So, we rewrote it. The biggest thing he said was um cuz Ben asked him about his his uh his parents and he was like, you know, what you know, what what role did your dad play? What do you mean? And and and Mike said he go he was like um my dad was a great guy. And he goes my mom runs [ __ ]

8:07 Really? Yeah. And Ben was like, "Really?" And he was like, "Yeah, my mom runs shit." And Ben was like, "Oh, should I talk for sure?"

8:14 He's like, "You he was like, "You want to try to call my mother?" He was like, "No." Like

8:18 and and and Ben was like, "Okay, well, who should play your mother?" And before he got mother out, Mike was like, "Viola Davis." Wow. So, just knew it right away.

8:28 Ben called me up from Florida where he was meeting with him and he was like, "Dude, good news, bad news." I'm like, "What?" He's like, "But we got Mike's blessing." He's like, he's like, "We got to rewrite the entire script because it's all about it's it's all about his mother." And I go, "Okay, you know, great." And he and he goes, "Oh," I go, "What's the bad news?" And he goes, "There's only one actor who will" and I was like, "Who?" And he's like, "Viola Davis." And I'm like, "All right, you want me to call We got to call American treasure Viola Davis." be like, "Listen, we can't make this movie unless you make it with us." So, that was there was a great young writer on that on that uh project and and he we kind of rebuilt the whole thing around her character. Um and try to make a role that was worthy of, you know, Viola.

9:15 That's cool. That's awesome. Very cool. Very cool. Is there anybody that you've worked with? You worked with a lot of acting legends, but is there anyone that you were starruck with on set?

9:24 Yeah, I mean, I think that's happened a lot of times to me. Uh, but um I went on on Saving Private Ryan. Um Tom Hanks said something to all of us. I actually I I asked him about a he did this movie a long time ago called Nothing in Common and Jackie Gleason played his father and Jackie Gleason was like this, you know, bigger than life uh you know, star of the Honeymooners and all this and and I asked him Tom about it and and Tom said I asked him if he was nervous and Tom goes, "You know what?" He stopped. He goes, "I made the decision not to be nervous. I made the decision not to be intimidated by and it was it was really good advice. I was like 25 or 26 and it was

10:07 and it was like don't you know you got to just approach the work you know and you got to approach people kind of as they are you know what I mean it was just like a very it was very helpful in the sense that you know I I think I I could have been intimidated by a lot of the people that

10:24 I am um because I because I'm a fan of theirs you know I'm I'm a fan and I and I and I still feel that way about a lot of people I work with I but it's more more like it's it's it's better to appreciate appreciate them for the work that they do. Um, but leave the rest of the [ __ ] at the door so that you can actually get some work done.

10:42 Hell yeah. That's awesome advice, man. Shout out to Tom Hanks, man. I'm going to start using that advice.

10:47 The man with one red shoe, baby. Let's go. The money pit. Hell yeah. We always end the segment by asking everyone what was their welcome to Hollywood moment. the story you just told us was pretty [ __ ] iconic early in your career, but uh was there ever a moment that was just like, "Holy [ __ ] I'm doing this or um could be good, could be bad, could be just uh you know."

11:10 Yeah, I think the the biggest like the one I think about all the time was when Goodwill Hunting when we, you know, it was such a like a roller coaster from from writing it to selling it to, you know, developing it to going the turnaround to getting picked up at another studio. There's all this stuff that the first day we were shooting um and the we were actually rolling film and the movie was getting made and and it was a scene between Stellin Scarsgard and Robin Williams. Ben and I weren't even in the scene, but we went to watch and when they called action and and those two like heavyweight actors, amazing actors started talking, started saying the [ __ ] that we wrote,

11:51 like we just tears coming down and I think that was like that was that was definitely a kind of an amazing moment. Uh

11:59 cuz it was like this is real like even if nothing happens with this movie like we got it made.

12:04 We're doing it. We were like, we were like Rocky in the first one where it's like we didn't even want the belt.

12:10 Yeah. We just wanted to go 15 rounds and be and still be there. And so that was kind of the moment where we were like, "This movie is actually going to happen."

12:17 That's awesome. [ __ ] iconic. If you had any advice for somebody that was looking into getting into writing or acting or what would your advice be? Like what's what's the best way to get started or learn or Yeah, I don't know. Well, it's like a trade, so it's it's to do it, you know, and so find really good people to stud to to study under and try to apprentice yourself to. And um you know, if you're if you want to write screenplays, I' I'd go probably online now, you can probably get every screenplay, just read just read, you know, read 10 of them a week and just start by osmosis. You'll start to understand kind of the form. read the movies that you like and see what they look like in script form and and and then read movies even that you don't like very much and see what they look like and um and and that's kind of how I that's kind of how we did it. We we kind of backed into writing because um

13:10 because we were unemployed, nobody wanted us. And so we were like, we better write our own thing. And we we were kind of able to do that because we'd read so many hundreds of scripts and and then seeing those movies get made and seen what became of them and seen see we had seen what got cut out and and and what survived and what worked on the page and what worked on the screen and all that stuff. So yeah, the more you can expose yourself to it and be around other people who are interested in it and and you know make it make it a focus for for your time and energy then you know the better the better shot you have. It's a brutal business though

13:44 you know I wouldn't it you know the the my old answer to that was always like I would just I just tell people don't don't do it.

13:51 No honestly because every single person told us not to do it. like everybody there was nobody in my life who said, "Yep, this is good. You should do this." Like it it's it was a suicide mission basically, you know, like you're not going to make any money. You're not going to, you know, you're just going to go out and get beaten down by the world. It's like a you know, and the first hundred times you go audition, you usually just get rejected and it's humiliating and it's like, you know, you got to have you got to really really really want.

14:20 Do you think the landscape has changed at all from when you were trying to come up? totally totally totally different business. Like I don't I don't know what to I I have trouble because I don't know where the business is going and so I don't know what to tell but but the things that matter still matter. Like if you love acting, if you love writing, then then it's it doesn't matter where the business is going. You're going to find your place in the business. But um but but yeah, just just doing it as much as you can. Like it really is a it's it's a trade. Like people try to put all this hocus pocus around it, but it's like you know being a carpenter like you know can you build a house right? So it's just start start working on that and and uh and eventually you'll be able to

15:00 get out what you put in man. Yeah. Absolutely.

Questions about this episode

Who speaks in "Matt Damon on Being A Girl Dad and Advice for Aspiring Writers & Actors"?

Matt Damon (Guest), Jason Kelce (Host).

What is "Matt Damon on Being A Girl Dad and Advice for Aspiring Writers & Actors" about?

Matt Damon discusses his experience as a father of four daughters, sharing that each child is unique and offers the advice to disregard conventional parenting tips, emphasizing the individuality of each child. He also highlights the impressive capabilities of supportive partners, using a friend's admiration for fellow dad Jason Kelsey's wife as an example of exceptional parenting.

What is mentioned in this New Heights episode?

2 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Ming Ming Sai, Good Will Hunting. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "Matt Damon on Being A Girl Dad and Advice for Aspiring Writers & Actors"?

The episode runs 15 min; the transcript is about 3,265 words in 51 timestamped sections.

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