Achieve Inner Excellence - Process Leads To Results

What this episode is about

The discussion centers on achieving inner excellence by confronting personal fears and overcoming self-centered thoughts that hinder personal growth. It emphasizes the importance of pursuing a meaningful life, fostering enriching relationships, and being willing to embrace discomfort and potential failure in order to build something truly great.

Key takeaways

• To conquer inner excellence, you must first wrestle with your deepest fears and desires.
• Self-centeredness is the real villain; thriving requires stepping beyond our own concerns.
• AJ Brown sparked a book sales renaissance, proving that sports personalities can shift narratives—and markets.
• Fear thrives in self-absorption; freedom emerges when we channel focus outward.
• In life and business, risk is the price of entry; avoiding failure limits your potential for greatness.

Who speaks in this episode?

• Ryan Hawk (Host) · 21 min speaking
• Jim Murphy (Guest) · 32 min speaking

What is discussed, and when

1. 0:00 – 5:00: Inner Excellence, Donald C. Murphy, Good Morning NFL
2. 5:00 – 10:00: Inner Excellence
3. 10:00 – 15:00: Inner Excellence, Donald C. Murphy
4. 15:00 – 20:00: Inner Excellence
5. 20:00 – 25:00: Inner Excellence, The Best Possible Life
6. 30:00 – 35:00: Inner Excellence
7. 35:00 – 40:00: Inner Excellence
8. 40:00 – 45:00: Inner Excellence, Apollo 11, Donald C. Murphy
9. 45:00 – 50:00: Inner Excellence
10. 50:00 – 53:16: Inner Excellence, The Best Possible Life, Donald C. Murphy

Notable quotes from "Achieve Inner Excellence - Process Leads To Results"

• Like an onslaught of messages, emails like that I could there's no way I could keep up with. It was the first TV station that contacted me was Good Morning NFL. And he said can…

  about Good Morning NFL · at 2:22

• And inner excellence is really about pursuing a life that matters, a life of meaning and fulfillment and deep enriching relationships where you're learning and growing and especially like.

  about Inner Excellence · at 5:28

• Best Possible Life: How to Live with Deep Contentment, Joy, and Confidence No Matter What. It was written for the seventh grade level reading. kind of a summary of Inner…

  about The Best Possible Life · at 23:58

• About what to love and what to let go of. I love you. See you soon. And you, and I also read your dad worked on the Apollo 11 mission, the one that helped us land on the moon…

  about Apollo 11 · at 41:50

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

• Donald C. Murphy — Person · Referenced family influence · 4 mentions · first at 1:08
  Jim Murphy’s father, cited as a major formative influence on Murphy’s thinking about discipline, community, and what to value/let go of; mentioned in connection with Apollo 11 work and childhood context.
  Special to do it with, would that be cool, too? Well, part of the reason I asked about being a dad is because the dedication of your book, is one of the people is to your dad, Donald C.

Books & papers

• Inner Excellence — Book · Primary recommendation · 26 mentions · first at 0:07
  Central topic of the podcast, discussed as a guide to living a meaningful and fulfilling life by facing fears and pursuing personal growth.
• The Best Possible Life — Book · Referenced work · 2 mentions · first at 23:57
  Mentioned as a summary of Inner Excellence, focusing on living with deep contentment, joy, and confidence.

Places & events

• Apollo 11 — Event · Referenced event · 1 mention · first at 41:54
  Mentioned in the context of Jim Murphy's father's work, highlighting a personal connection to a historic event.

Media & podcasts

• Good Morning NFL — Media · Referenced media · 1 mention · first at 2:30
  Mentioned as the first TV station to contact Jim Murphy after his book gained popularity, indicating the book's impact.

Full transcript with timestamps

0:00 The heart which I define as your will, your spirit, your soul, the deepest part of you where your greatest fears are, greatest dreams are. That's the part that needs the most training. Inner excellence is really about pursuing a life that matters, a life of meaning and fulfillment and deepen enriching relationships where you're learning and growing. And especially facing your fears. Fears in general, it's a very self-centered thing. And the biggest challenge that we have in performance and in life is getting in our own way.

0:23 Our own thoughts are really hurting us. ah let me just do the 70% version cuz it's less risky. So I I call that self-centerness, this constant thinking about self, walking in this self-p protection, self- concern because when we're at our very best, there's no self-p protection or self- concern. There's no thoughts about self whatsoever. And so when you're completely selfless, then you're fearless. If you want to build anything great, a life, a business, a home, whatever it is, you're going to have to be willing to face uncomfortable feelings and to be willing to fail and be willing to look foolish. Because if you're not, for example, willing to fail or look foolish, then your options are very, very limited.

1:08 All right, Jim Murphy, man, it is awesome to have you here on the Learning Leader Show. Welcome. Thanks for having me, Ryan. So, I read the stat and it was fascinating to me. The first 11 days of 2025, your book, Inner Excellence, sold about 25 copies. So, about, you know, maybe two a day or a little bit less than that. Then January 12th hit. What happened on January 12th and what happened after that? Yeah. So, uh um football player read the book uh on national TV, AJ Brown. Um I saw a picture of him reading the book in uniform um sometime in December, but I that's the last I I didn't know any context and so that's really the last I thought about it. I just thought, "Wow, that's really cool." And then I'm actually in um downtown Dallas in a hotel room watching a different football game, the uh um bowl game between Penn State and Notre Dame. And then I look at my phone and I see a bunch of texts and

2:07 then someone says, "Hey, you got to check out the Packers uh Eagles wild card game." And then that's when I saw, you know, along with everyone else um what was going on. And then what happened in the following days after that? Well, right away, um it was just like an onslaught of of messages, emails like that I could there's no way I could keep up with. It was um the first TV station that contacted me was uh um Good Morning NFL. And he said um can you get a book to me tonight? This was Sunday night. Um we need it by 2:45 a.m. cuz we're going to run with it the first thing in the morning. And uh um so that was a fun adventure. We actually um didn't get him the right book. um a friend of mine had had the first copy, the original copy, but but um yeah, the next day it was just non-stop. I I missed so many interviews. I couldn't keep up with it and um yeah, it was it was really intense. I had also read that

3:06 AJ Brown and you had not you had no relationship prior to that moment. He just liked your book and just liked to read it, but then you have since talked. um what was it about inner excellence that resonated so much with him and how has it been since seeing that moment for uh for you and his relationship? Yeah. So for him, you know, he he plays a very dangerous violent sport. You know, um a wide receiver going over the middle in the NFL is is can be very scary. And so to be one of the best, if not the best, like he is in the NFL, you have to have a sort of a fearlessness.

3:41 And um and you can't let your mind um dwell on what just happened if it wasn't good. And you can't, you know, think about the future. And that's is really what fear is. It's a it's a concern about future and self. And so um inner excellence is really about having a clear mind and unburdened heart and teaching you how to do that. And so, you know, I think that really resonated with him and that's why he was bringing it to every game to help him get centered and and after every drive to get reentered and focus on um how he wanted to feel and who we wanted to become and what was most important. You brought up fear and I want to go a little bit deeper on that. We all have that in our lives. We all have different ways of dealing with it. Could you go uh a bit further on maybe how you handle fear or even an example a time of oh this thing was really scary like I'm thinking of like my daughter really

4:35 wants to do uh she wants to skydive like as her senior present for her senior year next year and I'm like I don't want to do that. I'm scared but I kind of want to bond with her in that way because she really wants to do it. So I was really scared. So maybe that's a bad example, but I'm but it's it's the first thing that popped to mind when I heard of thought of being like really fearful of something. So how what tell me tell me more about fear and how you manage it, how we all can better manage it. Yeah. So it's a great question. So one of the first things I do with clients is help them understand how fear works. Um how the mind works and especially the subconscious that's running our life and our lives and um and what your heart deeply wants. And so the heart, which I define as as your will, your spirit, um your soul, the deepest part of you, where your greatest fears are and your your greatest dreams are, that's that's

5:26 the part that needs the most training. And um inner excellence is really about pursuing a life that matters, a life of meaning and fulfillment and deep enriching relationships where you're learning and growing and especially like you said, facing your fears. And fears is in general, it's a very self-centered thing. And the biggest challenge that we have in performance and in life is getting in our own way. Our own thoughts are really hurting us. And um so I I call that self-centerness. This constant thinking about self, walking in this self-p protection, self- concern.

5:57 Because when we're at our very best, then um there's no self-p protection or self- concern. There's no thoughts about self whatsoever. And so when you're completely selfless, then you're fearless. It's the what's going to happen to me. That's where what creates the fear. And so, um, you know, for people that may be having a hard time right now, there's inner excellence has one overarching goal. It's to learn and grow about how to live with absolute fullness of life, to be fully alive. And we have four daily goals. And the first one is to give the best of what you have today. And and if life is hard right now, understand that it may not be much at all. Give the best. You're we're not asking you to give anything more than you've got. And it may be very very minimal, but that's okay. We're going to start somewhere. That's the important thing. And just make sure we're heading in the right direction and understand

6:47 that there is hope. And so the first step is to give the best of what you got. It may be only 20% or 10% of of your best. And we're just going to give 100% of that. And then number two is to be present because there's no fear in when you're present. Fear is a future thing. Um and then uh three is is to be grateful because gratitude and anxiety do not go together. Um really you're either grateful or or anxious, one of the two. Um and then u the fourth one is to focus on your routines and only what you can control. And so if you um think about this this uh um skydiving thing, it's you know if you're fully present the whole time, then it's going to be a really exhilarating thing. It's when your mind goes to the future. That's that's when you're going to that's that's when you have problems. But then you just use some tools to bring yourself back to the moment. So fear is usually about the future. You're like anxious or scared of

7:46 something that might happen, right? You might your parachute might not open, right? You might die. How it sounds great like yes, be present. Live in the moment. Live in the moment. It's better there. Like everything's better. Like there's no sense in worrying about something that hasn't happened and probably will not happen. I know that. I I can feel that. What are you mentioned tools there? What are some tools to get better at living in the present? Well, first of all, that whole thing I just shared with you about learning and growing is is number one. So because our greatest need is to be um loved and accepted. The the human heart is five deep needs. Um to to feel like you're to have a sense of worth that you have some value is the first one. And then second one is is um love and acceptance. And then um which is the number one actually the most important one. And then there's um integrity to to to to be complete to

8:45 be fully integrated and then to have a purpose beyond yourself and then to to grow. So these are the five deep needs of the heart at least according to inner excellence. And uh um when you're pursuing these things then you can really um have a sense of fearlessness more often and most everybody has had some fearlessness in their lives at some points and I mean it might be just playing uh Scrabble or or doing a jigsaw puzzle where there is no fear or watching a movie when you're fully in the moment. And so um really understanding what is it like to be fully present and and practicing that every day. And it doesn't have to be a real set thing. It's just like um I'm going to work on being present today.

9:23 And when I think of being present at the highest level, I think of the sense anything is possible and a connection to beauty. So um it's far more than just thinking about um not thinking about the past and future and thinking about you know what you can see in front of you. It's it's far more than that. How about you specifically? What are you what do you do? You're still human. You're still flawed like all of us, right? you you have to work on this stuff even though you write about it and you help others be really good at it, but what do you do to stay fully present in the moment?

9:53 Yeah. And let me share with you something that I think is really um important and especially in this this uh time in our our culture, there's a lot of fear and anxiety and tension, violence, so much out of control. And so anxiety is such a massive thing. And um anxiety is a mind with too many thoughts from too many concerns. And one of the um very important elements of inner excellence is you know in order to learn and grow we need to to uh um face our fears and uh learn to get comfortable being uncomfortable. Um, if you want to build anything great, a life, a business, a home, whatever it is, you're going to have to, um, be willing to face uncomfortable feelings and to be willing to fail and be willing to look foolish. Um, because if you're not, for example, willing to fail or look foolish, then um your options are very very limited. Then you you have to only focus on um a very small amount of

10:53 things that you can do that you know are not going to um go sideways. And so, but if you want to build anything great, there has to be an element of risk where things that you can't control are involved. And so, um, there's a series of questions that I ask myself when I'm uncomfortable. Um, am I willing to face my fears? Am I willing to face any feeling whatsoever? The feeling that I hate most, am I willing to have that one today? And uh, am I willing to sit with the feelings that I dislike even if they don't go away?

11:26 These are really powerful important questions to ask um when we're afraid or when we we have these these uh um whether it's anxiety or or or sense of um being out of control or panic. Is there a time recently that you were really scared and you use these tools to to get through it better? Yeah. Yeah. Well, I can think of uh since January 12th, you know, there's times, you know, being on national TV on the Today Show or things when I was nervous. Um, and so asking myself these these exact questions. Um, are you willing to look foolish? Are you willing to have any feeling? Um, you know, are you willing to face your fears? And then also for me, who are you trusting? Like why am I doing this?

12:13 What's my purpose? Is that so Jim Murphy can look good? Um because if it is then it's it's a very scary thing because um if it's about me then I got to try and control a lot of things that I cannot control. But if it's to live my purpose which I I'm um I believe it is then it's um it becomes so much more than about me and and not something that I need to control. Um like the today's show was was exciting. Um and really I just said you know God it's up to you. like if this goes great, that's, you know, obviously that's what I would like. But if I say the wrong thing or forget, you know, my mind goes blank and, you know, I was battling jet lag and and um um just interviews and lack of sleep and just intense barrage for months and then the Today Show. And so um a number of things could have could have gone wrong and and in fact, they asked a couple questions that I that were not on the script. And so that could have um had

13:10 me, you know, kind of go blank, but you know, God took care of it. So it was great. Uh I you know what's what is conjuring up these feelings and ideas for me is you're you're you're a professional athlete. I played sports. My sport was football. Um played in high school, college, a little bit after college. And when I was at my best, I was almost like unconscious. I just let it rip. I played quarterback. And so you you got to take shots. you got to take chances in order to accomplish big things that there there's almost never perfect windows or your guys wide open, you know, all that.

13:46 And when I was at my best though, I almost wasn't even thinking. I was just responding to the moment and relying on instinct and letting it rip. Like that's what my good quarterback coach would always say is you got to let it fly, man. Let it rip. And I feel like there's some inner excellence in that coaching. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this idea of almost performing. I do it now like in keynote speaking where I'm at my best on stage when I just let it rip and just go for it without this fear of maybe looking stupid or trying the joke or going big for the open, you know, anything like that where you're like, ah, let me just do the 70% version because it's less risky. That version, by the way, Jim, as you know, is never good. Never. like it's either a hundred and you're gonna flop or 100 and it's awesome. And I think that relates a lot to the stuff you write about in inner excellence. I just wanted to to get your

14:39 take on that. So you're saying when you're at your best in football, there was no um concern for self. There was no um self-consciousness, right? There was you were saying that there was this uh absence of thoughts about self. Is that right? You're almost not even like thinking at all. I mean, you're just like playing. You're just in the moment again, present, and your your instincts take over. You're you're practiced, right? We rep this stuff to death just like AJ Brown and all those guys do. And you just react. You just go without even thinking about it, you know? So, you mentioned playing. That's a very powerful word. So, inner excellence is really revolves around three key areas um that you can think of as BFF, best friends forever. Um belief, freedom, and focus.

15:26 So belief is a subconscious comfort level with what you feel is possible in your life and everyone has beliefs in every area of their lives their lives and they all come with um limitations and so inner excellence is really about understanding how to expand what you believe is possible in your life and then uh um freedom is probably the number one thing that people ask for the most when I ask when we dig deep into what they want most in their life it's that's the number one most common answer and u it's also the number one thing that's lacking the most in in um athletes and in anyone trying to accomplish anything is a lack of freedom. Um lack of ability to play like a kid and uh um focus to be fully present in the moment. Um inner excellence is really an in-depth system.

16:11 And how do you become fully present in the moment and and be able to to play like a kid like and have that sort of joy and uh um and believe that that anything is possible. Okay. How do we do that? One's big. I think freedom is hard as you get older. You I mean, you're further away from being a kid, I guess, as I'm thinking out loud here with you, Jim, but but I found the moments when I can I have a team of coaches I work with now that are a part of my team and we go out and do stuff together. And I think when we are at our best, we are joking, we're making fun of each other, we're acting like we we did when we were kids. Like even with our clients, we're we're we're acting like that with them. Now, we get serious about the work and helping people and making sure they're maximizing people and and and and their leaders are getting better. That's a big deal to us and we take that very seriously. But we

17:06 don't take ourselves very seriously. It's constant joking, constant kind of screwing around at times when like because it's just more fun to live that way, I guess. I I'm curious about how you help people gain more freedom and feel more like they're they're a kid again. Yeah. Well, what happens is people get way too caught up in in things that they want and can't control. And um it's it's because of our deep need for for love and connection and that we have a subconscious mind that's um always trying to bring us closer to what our beliefs are. But we have this ego that's um that as I define it is a part of our mind that's always threatened, always comparing and never satisfied. And so the ego is constantly saying um look, if you screw this up, you're going to get your worst nightmare, which is rejection. Nobody's going to love you. No one's going to follow you. Everyone's going to shun you. And um so it's it's hard with this

18:05 this ego to to navigate. and and uh um in order to have freedom, we need to simplify our lives and focus it on on um an uh an overarching purpose for your life. Because especially in today's culture when there's so much coming at you, so many ideas, so much information, if you don't have a clear purpose for your life, then you're going to be constantly looking over your shoulder. What about this? What about that? Oh, I should try this, I should try that. And so, um and that really is a path to anxiety. So, I know you work with golfers.

18:38 They're they're some of your earliest clients. And I saw that uh Scotty Sheffller's um Caddy blurb some of your your recent work. I was watching Rory Maroy, who's kind of in a weird spot right now. If you follow golf, and I know you do, Jim, but if just people in general follow golf, he wins the Grand Slam and wins the Masters and it's kind of kind of spiraled a little bit afterwards. and they interviewed him after he made the cut in the US Open and he needed the birdie like the last two or three holes or something like that in order to hit the cut on the number and Royy's usually like leading tournaments not just barely trying to make cuts and he said to the reporters like in a real honest moment you know I didn't really care like I didn't even know if I wanted to be here for the weekend so I was like I just kind of like whatever and by doing that and he goes and when you do that like it just it's like frees you up

19:26 and you play easy and I was like Roy, do you understand what you're saying right now? Like he he he birdied the last few holes in order to hit the cut on the number and he openly admitted because he didn't care because he wasn't sure if he wanted to be there for the weekend and actually make the cut. What do you what do you make of that? Extremely um common um that when you your expectations are high then it's um performance goes down and um when you have a carefree attitude then performance can go up. The problem is people try not to care and that's very problematic um for multiple reasons. One, how do you try not to care about something that you deeply care about? You're just kind of just confused and um you're fooling yourself. And so inner excellence is is really about training your heart to love what's most empowering.

20:18 So Rory ran into the problem of human nature which is um you know now that he's a grand slam winner the expectations are you know very high and because not many people have ever done that and so um and this is a big challenge when you when you achieve something of of great stature or significance then expectations go way up and then this can create you know a lot of issues and has historically created a lot of issues for people because like I that our greatest need is to be loved and accepted and and our greatest fear is failure and understanding that um you know before Rory won the masters you know he's the same guy but now he's got this extra status and so oh do I need to do something special and and the the sense that I don't even want to be there is is um with inner excellence it's really look why am I playing golf I want to I want to live an amazing life I want to live a a life of meaning

21:15 with amazing experiences deep enriching relationships where I'm learning and growing and making a difference in the world. It's why I'm golfing or coaching or parenting or anything. And so if you understand, okay, this is what I really want, then it really comes down to how do I grow as a person and share that with the world and use Ferrari golf to learn how to do that. Um, but what happens because this is not taught in schools, um, our culture is obsessed about about the end result and that's the only thing that matters. And the problem with that is one, it's out of your full control, the end result. And two, you could get it and win say 23 Olympic gold medals and be suicidal.

21:57 Michael, like it may not even make you happy. And so understand that that um there's there's a life of extraordinary experiences waiting for you. Um you're created for relationship. You're created for this extraordinary life, but it's a life of of sacrificing yourself to make a difference in the world to become a certain type of person because the world needs hope and you are what the world needs. This person that that learns to live sacrificially and selflessly so it can be fearless. Well, it it feels to me too like the the external awards or the championships or best-selling author titles, right, which you earn like a decade after you publish your book, which is insane because most people you either get it right at the beginning or never. But it's almost like if if you're too focused on the external that it could create huge problems for you. Like it seems like it's what's happening in Rory's life right now. just

22:57 to just to to to stay on that example versus I feel like again Scotty Sheffller who again I I don't know if you work directly with him but I saw his his caddy who's also seems to be like one of the best in the world who follows your work. He's amazing. Um Scotty seems when I listen to him speak and he's won a ton is more than anybody in the last however many years. So grounded, so grateful. Oh my goodness. How much he talks about his life with his wife and kids and just going to Chipotle. I mean, but he's also crushing everybody. He's very competitive and he definitely wants to win, but then just seems like he doesn't have the weight on his shoulders. He's able to freely swing the golf club and freely play the game, win a ton, but then stay grounded. And that to me is like that's what you want, right? You want to be able to go out there and perform at really, really high levels in whatever your craft is, but

23:49 then also be able to stay grounded and fully present in the moment. You know, it's it reminds me of the story I wrote wrote in the book that I that came out in November called The Best Possible Life: How to Live with Deep Contentment, Joy, and Confidence No Matter What. It was written for the seventh grade level reading. Um kind of a summary of Inner Excellence, but focus on the spirit in your heart. And um in there, I asked this question. It's similar question I asked in the book Inner Excellence. Would you rather o own a $10 million house on the water fully paid off or would you rather live in an apartment with no savings ever for the rest of your life, paycheck to paycheck for the rest of your life, but be guaranteed a life of amazing experiences and deepen enriching relationships where you're learning and growing and and uh filled with peace and joy every day the rest of your life. Which would you rather have?

24:43 And I know for me the vast majority of my life I for sure would have picked a house because I'd never had much anxiety and um like free multi-million dollar house on the water of course versus living in an apartment and and have good feelings like that's a no-brainer. That's what I would have chosen most of my life. Really? Really? Would you really have chosen that? Oh yeah, for sure. And I think every teenager would too. Like probably 95% teenager. But like and you know most adults you think so? Yeah. I feel like as you grow you realize the priceless elements of loving relationships and cool enriching experiences.

25:31 Don't forget about the uh um living paycheck to paycheck in an apartment with no savings. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's hard to because we don't You think most of your friends would would choose that? No, that part of it is tough, I guess. And it's easy for me to say since that's not how we live. But yeah, I I don't know. I I just feel like maybe with maturity, just like for example, Jim, I I would say um gift giving, right? giving and receiving gifts, whether it's within my family, my wife, and children. We've just shifted, not 100% but close to that, that they're experiential gifts, right? We got enough stuff. We got all the stuff we need, right? Very fortunate. I know. I'm grateful and super lucky.

26:16 Let's think of the coolest experiences in the world and then go, where are we going to hike? Like, are we going to Zion National Park? Are we going to the Taylor Swift concert? are we like what are we doing that to me or or just for a walk in the park doesn't cost any money you know like that's an amazing family experience to I don't know and I think I it's easy for me to say this now maybe because I'm older I've I've I've had some some years to get a lot better at this but to me I feel like it's this podcast has actually probably helped the relationships and experiences beat everything the only challenge is um that you wouldn't be able to do that anymore. Those experiences. What do you mean? You could go with no savings. You You can go to the park, but you're not you're not going on vacation. You're right. You're right. I I love that we're going back and forth on this. I I don't So, I I interrupted your story, so I'm

27:11 going to let you finish, but I feel like that's where you're going to though, right? Like you're you're focusing more on relationships and experiences. Yeah. I think that so the big thing is to understand that um why would you if say the listener would choose the house like me for most of my life um what if no one could ever see the house would you still choose it you know I think that would make a big difference because for me I picture myself having these gettogethers these barbecues and having so much fun and and people loving and I just feel so secure like I'm successful and I'm somebody and I don't even have to say anything because it's my house and I can just relax. I don't have to prove anything.

27:51 But if I'm inviting people over to a little apartment that's maybe rent controlled or whatever and I'm driving an old beater car, am I going to And then it's it's a weird dynamic, right? Um it's interesting, but the point is what Interax is is I help people go for what they want most. We go directly for it. a life of amazing experiences deepen enriching relationships where they're learning and growing and making a difference in the world. And the cool byproduct is um that's the best way to develop world champions.

28:26 My friend Brooke cups, his purpose in life is to help people strive for excellence over success. And he would he would define success as a comparison with others and living by what society says you should do. the Instagram world. Excellence is within yourself, your core values, your purpose, your the critical behaviors that make those core values correct and and true and be and be solely focused on that like maximizing your own potential. And so I'm curious how you would that dichotomy of excellence versus success. I know that's our definition, not yours, but like there is some similarities here of this intrinsic internal to you, your own definition of a good life, of success on your terms, not what society or social media would say is quote success. You know, I think right away I think of being living a selfless and therefore fearless life. M um one more thing I wanted to think talk about with the uh

29:26 regards to um having this this quote successful life of status and multi-million dollar house versus um having amazing experiences but not having anything that would look successful. There's a um I believe that love is the most powerful force in the universe. It's what um holds the the stars in place and spins the earth, grows the grass, and it's our deepest need and our and our greatest desire, our greatest power, perfectly fearless. Um and there's joy comes from love and um there's so much strength or so much love that comes from weakness that cannot be cannot come out of strength. And I think that's maybe similar to that idea of living in an apartment paycheck to paycheck is because when you have a lot of money, um, one of the things that it allows is is you don't have to rely on others. Um, it can create this isolation. And I think you see that a lot of with people that have a lot of resources is it

30:35 becomes kind of an isolating life. Um, because it's easy to to forget that we're created for relationship and it's our number one need is is uh to um connect with others. Um because love and acceptance is our greatest need. And then you can think about the greatest punishment in prison is to be separated from others. So well it's funny you you see these people who maybe um start a business and they grind hard for however many years and then maybe they exit, they sell the business and they get paid a billion dollars, right? And then those so so everyone's like, "Wow, there they go. Retire to the beach, have six houses, you know, do whatever you want."

31:15 And then that that's that same person is back to starting a new company in like two months, three months, six months later. Well, because you you got to have a purpose. You got to have a reason to get out of bed. It literally the the it might have been cool for a week or two for those people or maybe not even that long. And then you got to get back to like, wait, what am I here to do? What was I put here to do? And without a purpose, without a reason to get up and do something. as you mentioned, Michael Phelps like thinks about killing himself after 23 gold medals and all the crazy stuff and there there are countless stories of of that. It's why like the lottery winners struggle so much. You did nothing to earn it and you don't have purpose afterwards and you probably got people coming after you for stuff.

31:55 So I that to me is is everything is like it feels like inner excellence in what you do and from everything I've I've done leading up to this to study to get ready for this conversation is helping people find like true purpose and being focused on the moment to do the thing. And by doing that that's going to lead to fulfillment and gratitude and love and joy. And that's really what we have to aim for right not just earning a certain dollar amount but but what are we actually here to do? Yeah. I mean, and I I never tell people what to do.

32:26 Um, I just try and make sure I ask a lot of questions that help them understand themselves, what they really want, and then I try and help them get it. Um, and so I just know that if you're like me, obsessing about the results, like with inner excellence and my professional athletes, we never talk about results. Um, it's just in the beginning of the year, we we talk about goals, but it's it's about getting better every day and understanding um what am I trying to get better at? You know, we got the five skills of of belief and and competing under with freedom and passion and controlling your physiology and learning to be present and adapting to any situation. Um everything falling under the three categories of belief, freedom and focus. So, we're we're working on that every day and living a life of of purpose and um simplifying our lives so we can have that uh sense of freedom. Do you set goals? Do you have like external

33:15 based goals? Well, when I work with somebody, it's always um I ask them, "What has worked the best for you in the past when you've set external goals?" Um has that helped you or hurt you? Um and if it's helped them, then we then we do it. Like when you're talking about like baseball to hit 300 or whatever it is, some it's hit some number. If it's helped them, then then we do it. And then I monitor it and see how it's helping them. Some people it it makes them anxious and and hurts their performance and some people it helps.

33:43 But the either way, our number one goal is to get better every day and understand that today is the most important day. It's not Sunday on the masters is not more important than today. How do you measure if they're getting better each day? Well, that's a good question. Is well, what are we trying to get better at? Right? Um and uh you know, so what are what are examples of things that people want to get better at and then how do you measure that? Well, um, people come to me and, uh, it's like they they they're coming for superficial things that may or may not make them happy. Like even winning an Olympic gold medal or being world number one may or may not make you happy. And happiness I define as a as a um positive temporary feeling based on what's happening. You get some good circumstance and you you feel happy. If the circumstances are bad, you you don't. Whereas inner excellence is the pursuit of of um a

34:43 meaningful fulfilling life with joy which I define as as a deep sense of well-being, freedom and gratitude independent of circumstance. And so um with inner excellence, it's always how can I learn and grow in love, wisdom, and courage because I want to live a life of joy. And uh um joy comes from love. Um, and when I say love, I mean the unconditional kind. Um, that's the most powerful force that there is, unconditional love. And so, um, understanding because, you know, as a learning leader, what is a leader trying to learn? Like, um, I had an executive tell me that, um, that they were really good at helping people advance in their careers. And I said, that's, you know, that's really cool. That can be very helpful. It also can be very problematic if you help someone advance in a career and become president of a company and they're a tyrant or you know they you know their inner world is filled with

35:40 anxiety and then they're they're not nice to their spouse or kids or whatever then did you really help them. So I think helping someone advance in their career may or may not be a good thing. So let's say uh we were working together. Let's do a little bit of a hypothetical but we can do some real-time coaching. Maybe if it doesn't work we'll throw this out. No big deal. But let's say I'm like, Jim, I want to measure how I'm getting better at being more present every day. I want to I want to I want you to hold me accountable or whatever the phrasing you would use so that I am better. This is a real thing, by the way, at being more present every day. Less thinking of the past, less thinking of the future, but being more right here, right now. What are like how would you measure if I'm actually improving at that? Yeah. Well, one thing is is uh um taking the four daily goals that I shared earlier and rating them every day

36:39 one to five. Five is the best. How did I do? Um did I give it my best shot? You know, was I present? Um and then because as you if you're rating them now, you're going to start to um say, "How can I get better?" Especially if you give yourself a two or three on being present. And so to be present it's it's really understanding well what is that like like I shared earlier it's to me the highest level is a sense that anything is possible and uh um a sense of freedom and um anxiety is is um kind of a clear sign that someone is not very present. Um, now there's there can be biological issues that that cause that. But, um, for most of us, for example, anxiety comes from a mind with just way too many thoughts from too much clutter, too much information in their head. Um, especially too much negative things in their head. Um, so, uh, if someone had anxiety, I would really, um, work with them on on, uh, um, making

37:43 sure that they're only putting into their head things that are are empowering and, uh, um, according to their their goals and dreams and values. Is being fully present something that you're really good at? Um, you know, I've never even said I'm good at inner excellence. Um, I I don't I wouldn't say I'm very good at it. Um, I'm say it's something that I want to be really good at. Yeah. Really? You're studying it, you're teaching it. By teaching it, I feel like it would kind of rub off on you. You know what I mean? Like do you you don't feel that? Um, I guess you can you can say um like you said, how do we measure that? and and um a sense of peace and joy is is one way to to uh um measure that because fear and anxiety is is this past future orientation. What about this? What about that? And uh um you know, God's really blessed me with a lot of peace and joy.

38:44 And so, um super grateful for that. You have this really calm aura and presence. Your voice just feels at ease. I feel good and cozy and comfortable just talking with you. Is this just how you've always been? You're naturally You're born this way or is this like a a a thing you've had to work on and develop? Well, no. My I was The biggest challenge I have is self-centerness and and uh um if some people who know me think I'm self-centered now, you should have seen me 10 20 years ago or when I was 21. Um, yeah, it was not pretty. And so, um, my purpose is to share God's love, wisdom, and courage with athletes and leaders around the world. And, and so, um, it's something that I think is so important for everyone to have a clear purpose and and that they something that they can, um, devote their life to and, uh, something to think about when the first thing when you wake up and last thing you think about before you go to bed. Um

39:45 inner excellence is really a series of um habits of thought and action that you do every day to live according to your purpose. And so that means um having clear routines and a clear system and how to do that because otherwise you're going to get caught up in things that you want and can't control and anxiety is going to be always near. I think it's really cool that people who know their purpose, it's almost always focused on how they help other people and that the same with you. Like it it just seems like it's always focused on how they can help other people. That's what most people who have a clearly defined purpose and actually live it out. It's focused on others. Yeah, that's good awareness. You know, um if you have, say you have a goal that you want to win a gold medal or or achieve something, um I wouldn't really call that a purpose or you want to be the best at something, um I would just call that a goal. So for

40:34 me, the um the most powerful purposes are based on the most powerful thing in the universe, which is love. And love is is sacrificing yourself for someone else. And so I think that's um why you notice that. Are you you're not married, are you? Not yet. Not yet. Are you are you do you think you're you're on that path? Well, um if there's any potential suitors watching, then maybe send me a message. Do you don't have kids either? No. Never been married. Is that uh is that something you want to do? Do you want to be married? Do you want to have kids?

41:12 Um, you know, there's a lot of things that I would like to have and uh um what I want most is to make a difference in the world and to to take these resources especially that I've been given the last last um few months and and make a difference around the world and share that with as many people as I can. And if I have and I have some amazing people around me that I'm doing that with. Um if I had someone even more special to do it with, would that be cool, too? Well, part of the reason I asked about being a dad is because the dedication of your book, uh, is one of the people is to your dad, Donald C.

41:46 Murphy. You said, "He's the one who greatly influenced me to think deeply about what to love and what to let go of. I love you. See you soon." And you, and I also read your dad worked on the Apollo 11 mission, the one that helped us land on the moon, which is pretty awesome. Uh, can you tell me more about your dad and what he taught you? Yeah, he was very intense with his um he really wanted to learn and and he was really big on community and um um you know, we had foster kids growing up that he took in and u um you know, he grew up in a in a strict Catholic household and there wasn't a lot of love in his childhood. You know, his dad died when he was a kid and stepfather was was pretty harsh. Um and so and he left high school um dropped out of high school to join the Air Force and and uh um you know was was did some amazing things in his life and he was constantly challenging me and how

42:46 to think about things and that was you know really shaped me a lot and his his devotion to discipline and um learning was was really important impactful. Wow. Um, additionally, you've also, um, moved to Spain, right? Another part of the world. Uh, I was fascinated to hear that. I, Spain's also on my mind. One of my daughters is is on a 10-day trip. She's in the middle of right now. I miss her terribly. And it's it's hard. So, I was like, "Wow, you're in Spain. She's in Spain." Uh, uh, and so I'm curious, what what is it that made you want to move to Spain?

43:26 Yeah. I want to share inter excellence with um you know more people around the world and and so I'm I'm so excited that now it's going to be um in about 26 languages so far. Um it's going to be in Spanish in in Spain July 17th and then um um I think in Mexico in August or September. Um, but I want to become fluent in Spanish for sure and then Japanese after that and because I want to make a bigger difference and and really want to work with with people that um are lacking resources and help them um you know like we get to do with YWAM and uh the Inner Excellence Freedom Project building houses in Mexico. Um so wow. Um that's wild. I also read about um Ricky Scrugs uh former teammate roommate when you were playing pro baseball. Um, sounds like he helped you leave some of the the safety of where you were and take a chance. Can you tell me more about Ricky? That's right. We were teammates uh for the Siri Glacers

44:24 uh in 1995, an amazing year. um one of my favorite years ever playing pro baseball and he was my my roommate on the road and um yeah so he started a baseball academy called Centerfield Baseball Academy in Tucson, Arizona and uh invited me to come down for the grand opening and I was just really thinking deeply about my life at that time and then I just said what if I move down there and help you part-time and um so that's when I got rid of gave away over half my possessions including my TV and um went to go live a life of solitude and and work with him. And so, um, it was, you know, that's where Inner Excellence was born. Do you still not have a TV?

45:04 Um, well, we don't have one here in Spain, but I mean, now it's So, I mean, you got a phone, you can um get a computer and a monitor, so it's a lot different than it was back then, but yeah, I don't have a TV. Wow. Okay. Uh, you don't have any desire to like, hey, I want to go watch a movie on Netflix. You're like, no, I can just use my phone if I need any of that or what? Um yeah, so um you know I probably watch way more than I would like to admit. Um but you know I think I need um I need inner excellence more than anybody. You know what like the place I had in Point Roberts um the little retreat center I had in just outside of Vancouver BC.

45:47 There's writing on all the windows of there were prayers and Bible verses and inner excellence um principles and ideas that I'm working through. Every window was covered. Um and it was because your environment is so um has such a big impact on you because you move towards what you think about. And I wanted to make sure that I was constantly thinking about things that were empowering and and the truth about who I was and what was possible for me. And so, um, so that's why I have reminders on my phone that that go off every few hours on on who I am and what's possible and, you know, I write it on the windows and things like that. I read about you that um, one of your strengths is that you're not judgmental. Um, I think a lot of us are. I think I am. Um, I try not to be.

46:36 I try to be much more curious than judgmental. I read a story. or you said you have a pro client and the the client says, "Jim, this isn't going to work. I smoke, I gamble, I drink, I do all these things." And you said to him, "Well, you know, as long as you don't judge me, uh, he said, you don't judge me for not doing those things. I won't judge you for doing those things. Are we cool?" And you're like, "Boom. Yes, let's go." And I I just like love that story of like how you've you you just remove judgment from the way you are. Is that an active pursuit or are you naturally just not a very judgmental person? Well, and um thank you for saying that. That's my dream to be non-judgmental. And I don't not sure where you heard that, but I you know, I'm praying that I can be that type of person. Um non-judgmental awareness is such a crucial component of an extraordinary life and extraordinary

47:25 performance. And you know like like we talked about when you're at your very best there's no concern for self and there's also um no um negative thoughts or or you know judgmental thoughts and when I say judgmental I mean laying down a negative verdict about self circumstances or others and uh um so getting most people spend most of their time in judgment most of their day in judgment and without realizing it because it's so common that they don't just accept it as a part of life and and if you could get a print out of all your thoughts throughout the day, then you could s kind of see, you know, the amount of massive amount of judgment that that humans have. And also you could also um have a good prediction of what their life will be like in the next few weeks based on the print out of all their thoughts. And so reducing judgment is so huge. And understanding that um when you judge someone else, you're

48:18 creating this negative energy. Some goes to that person and some stays within you. And now you become a little more unstable and self-conscious. The exact same thing happens when you share unconditional love. Now you're generating some positive energy. Some stays within you and some goes to the other person. And now you become a little more stable and a little more fearless. And that's why um you know I think everyone's always either walking in love or fear. And that's why unconditional love is so powerful. And it's it's it's not the the result of the love that you give because you can't control that. It's just saying do I want to walk in love or fear? and if I have to walk in one or the other. And love, like I said, is it's it's hard because it's sacrificial.

49:00 So good, Jim. If you're meeting with somebody who is, let's say, uh, early 20s, just graduated college, they want to leave a positive dent in the world, but they're not exactly sure what they're going to do or how to do that. What are some general pieces of life slashcareer advice you'd give to that person? Well, um I I think about uh um legendary Eagles coach Dick File and um he said that when you when you're coaching somebody, coach the person first and then the sport. Like a tennis player is a person first then a tennis player. And a football player is a person first then a football player. And so the reason I bring that up is because I think understanding like you may not know what you want to do with your life right now, but the by far the most important thing about you is who you're becoming and what you believe. And um beliefs are feelings.

49:55 And so what I want and hope for everyone that watches this is that when they come to a stoplight, when they come to a solitary moment in their life, that they have a sense of freedom and beauty and then that that they go to this sense that anything is possible. And I and I feel that that's probably pretty rare because most people have minds that are very cluttered because of all that's out of their control and trying to control what they cannot. And so it's just saying, look, I don't um there's so much that I can't control and and life might be really hard right now.

50:28 And so I'm going to f focus on those four daily goals. And you can start to think about um what I always start with clients with is is how do you want to feel in your life? Because we're going to start to or um orient our habits of thought and action around helping you get that feeling because likely it's going to you're going to say um I want to feel inner peace. I want to feel joy. I want to I want to feel confident. Things like this. and understand because when you understand human nature, you know that that joy comes from love and uh um and like I talked extensively about in the book the best possible life that one the best possible life has one foot in joy and one foot in suffering and so um to live an extraordinary life you need to um take risks. You need to do hard things and constantly put yourself out there to get comfortable being uncomfortable. Hm.

51:19 One uh thought is there are skeptics and cynics in the world who may be listening watching this and they're like ah that guy's too woo woo for me you know joy peace love content uh you know all these words I love it honestly but I know that those people exist. I'm that person sometimes. what sure like what do you say to the cynics of of you and this way of thinking? How do you respond to that? It's a good question. Well, first of all, um since I started the Inner Excellence, what 15 years ago or so? Um the majority of my clients have the best year of their careers, our first year together or the best year in the last 5 years. And then also there's been multiple world number ones, world champions, etc. And so I get paid to help people perform better. Um, I'm not paid to help people feel better.

52:13 And so, um, you know, I travel all over the world to help people, um, perform better, not feel better. It's just that's the way that I do it. It's it's you need to understand if you want to be the best performer that you can be. It's going to take inner strength. Inner strength and inner peace are highly correlated. And how do you get that? You know, it's closely related to gratitude. If you want to be able to create inner peace, gratitude is directly related. And you can learn to be grateful by focusing on the smallest gift that you're given each day.

52:47 Boom. I love it. Thank you so much, man. Uh the book's called Inner Excellence. If you're a football fan, you've already seen this all over the place when AJ Brown was reading it during a game uh in the locker room. Tom Brady talked about it. A million other people did, too. And now have the author Jim Murphy on the show. I really appreciate you being here. And I Jim, I would love to continue our dialogue as we both progress. Man, thanks for the great questions. Love being here. Awesome.

Questions about this episode

Who speaks in "Achieve Inner Excellence - Process Leads To Results"?

Ryan Hawk (Host), Jim Murphy (Guest).

What is "Achieve Inner Excellence - Process Leads To Results" about?

The discussion centers on achieving inner excellence by confronting personal fears and overcoming self-centered thoughts that hinder personal growth. It emphasizes the importance of pursuing a meaningful life, fostering enriching relationships, and being willing to embrace discomfort and potential failure in order to build something truly great.

What is mentioned in this Ryan Hawk episode?

5 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Inner Excellence, The Best Possible Life, Apollo 11, Donald C. Murphy, Good Morning NFL. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "Achieve Inner Excellence - Process Leads To Results"?

The episode runs 53 min; the transcript is about 10,165 words in 67 timestamped sections.

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