Transcript

Kate McKinnon | SmartLess

From SmartLess · Episode page · Watch on YouTube

· 53 min · 10,234 words · 316 timestamped sections

This is the full, timestamped transcript of "Kate McKinnon | SmartLess", an episode of SmartLess published September 15, 2025 (53 min, about 10,234 words). It mentions 64 people, works and ideas, including Saturday Night Live, Kate McKinnon, Purple Pearl, SmartLess, London.

What is discussed, and when

  1. – 5:00: London, Los Angeles, SmartLess, Tony Award
  2. – 10:00: Purple Pearl, Criterion Collection, Delort Theater, Hollywood Bowl
  3. – 15:00: Kate McKinnon, Methodist, Daniel in the Lion's Den, Saturday Night Live
  4. – 20:00: Barbie, Gilgo Beach, The Big Gay Sketch Show, Weird Barbie
  5. – 25:00: Jim Carrey
  6. – 30:00: Saturday Night Live, Sean Hayes
  7. – 35:00: The Big Gay Sketch Show
  8. – 40:00: Grand Central Parkway, John Stewart, Saturday Night Live, Will Arnett
  9. – 45:00: Harry Potter, Lowe's, Freedom, Millisent Quib School of Etiquette for Young Ladies of Mad Science
  10. – 50:00: Kate McKinnon, Office Christmas Party, Outlast, Lowe's
  11. – 52:43: Amy Madigan, Michael Grant Terry, Saturday Night Live, SmartLess

Notable quotes from "Kate McKinnon | SmartLess"

  • Payday if you want a payday. Hey, welcome to Smartless.
    about SmartLess · at
  • About I do think it's enough with the London thing and the Long Island thing, Los Angeles, and me, my heart, my mind, my eyes, my ears, my chest, misses the feeling of your chest against it. I know. Please come on.
    about London · at
  • Tears from your eyes. It's why she's been nominated for every single year she was on Saturday Night Live. I think I've got that right. I could not be a bigger fan of her talent…
    about Saturday Night Live · at
  • The name of the new book is Purple Pearl. It's about a deep sea diver. Tell me, take it in there. Match her volume.
    about Purple Pearl · at
  • Hey, listen. I want to get right to Kate McKinnon. Can I just say I think you're so funny. No, you are so great. No, this is part of the podcast.
    about Kate McKinnon · at
  • But like northern Methodist. So like everyone is like just gray and of like Dutch descent and gray and has you know chalky skin and we.
    about Methodist · at
  • And I did a sketch at Colombia and then I auditioned. I went to an open call for a show, the big gay sketch show, which was on the now defunct logo network.
    about The Big Gay Sketch Show · at
  • That was just a quick word from the gang over at Lowe's that just came through on my text. I'm so sorry. I'm [ __ ] shameless, guys. I'm sorry. I just made 4,200 bucks.
    about Lowe's · at

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

  • Kate McKinnon — Person · 5 mentions · first at
  • Amy Madigan — Person · 2 mentions · first at
    Wait by the way you just reminded me of something I saw over the weekend Amy Madigan plays a character in a movie called weapons.
  • Jim Carrey — Person · 1 mention · first at
    Auditioned for it in living color when I was 21 years old to replace quote the white guy is right was Jim Carrey and I go in with a bag of tons of wigs and I sit down and the…
  • Sean Hayes — Person · 1 mention · first at
    Wait, wait. So, you didn't imagine it? I find that so you must have known that even Sean Hayes thought he could make it in show business. You know what I mean? Like with his wigs.
  • Will Arnett — Person · 1 mention · first at
    Hustle something. Yeah. I'd like to see Will Arnett host Saturday Night Live. We get Can we get that momentum? Will I know. Would you love What about for the movie coming out?
  • John Stewart — Person · 1 mention · first at
    And John Stewart. They say I no it's a it's a thing that yeah folks are doing carpentry and so am I and I am I'm doing it and that's what but I always said I have always said.
  • Michael Grant Terry — Person · 1 mention · first at
    Smartless is 100% organic and artisally handcrafted by Michael Grant, Terry, Rob Armjarf, and Bennett Barbco.
  • Amy Fisher — Person · 1 mention
  • Bobby Moynihan — Person · 1 mention
  • Jason Bateman — Person · 1 mention
  • Joey Buttafuoco — Person · 1 mention
  • Jonathan Franzen — Person · 1 mention
  • Josh Brolin — Person · 1 mention
  • Lorne Michaels — Person · 1 mention
  • Mary Jo Buttafuoco — Person · 1 mention
  • Roald Dahl — Person · 1 mention
  • Wally Feresten — Person · 1 mention
  • Zach Cregger — Person · 1 mention

Books & papers

  • Purple Pearl — Book · 4 mentions · first at
  • Harry Potter — Book · 2 mentions · first at
    Harry Potter is a middle-grade novel.
  • Millisent Quib School of Etiquette for Young Ladies of Mad Science — Book · 1 mention · first at
    In a it's the second book in a series of books called the Millisent Quib School of Etiquette for young ladies of mad science. Okay. And it's it's a middlerade novel which is for ages you know 8 to 14.
  • Freedom — Book · 1 mention · first at
    This book about the siege of Mecca. That was a couple weeks ago. And then I read Freedom by Jonathan Fronen.

Companies & orgs

Products & tech

  • SmartLess — Product · 3 mentions · first at
  • Outlast — Product · 2 mentions · first at
    No, I don't like to talk about my own stuff. It's Black Rabbit September 18th on Netflix or Outlast if you like reality.
  • Office Christmas Party — Product · 2 mentions · first at
    Pretend it's not over. And we love you and love you all. See you again. Did you get the script yet for Office Christmas Party 2? Just check your inbox. Okay. We'll see you on set.
  • Barbie — Product · 1 mention · first at
    How about Barbie? Have you seen that in a Ted Bundy?
  • Weapons — Product · 1 mention · first at
    I saw over the weekend Amy Madigan plays a character in a movie called weapons.
  • ASCAT — Product · 1 mention
  • Prius — Product · 1 mention

Concepts & topics

  • Methodist — Concept · 2 mentions · first at
  • Tony Award — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    At this guy now. He's kind of ruined things. It's kind of like when I saw you doing your Tony Award-winning play that you're now doing in London.
  • Daniel in the Lion's Den — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    Gray and has you know chalky skin and we were doing a play Daniel in the Lion's Den and I believe I was playing Cyrus King of Persia.
  • Weird Barbie — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    What about that weird Barbie? I'd love to.
  • Siege of Mecca — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    I just I do. That was the I just read this book about the siege of Mecca. That was a couple weeks ago. And then I read Freedom by Jonathan Fronen.
  • Middle-grade fiction — Concept · 1 mention
  • YA (Young Adult) Fiction — Concept · 1 mention

Places & events

Sponsors

Full transcript with timestamps

Hey guys, now is like the perfect time for me to do some vocal warm-ups cuz nobody's around. So, pingy pingy pingy pingy pingy. Popcorn peanuts. Get them if you want them. Hey, I got some Twizzlers over here and I got a little payday if you want a payday. Hey, welcome to Smartless. Smartless. Smartless. Smart less. Let me tell you something. This is why we don't have a video component on this show. What's going on today on my head?

Dare. Don't you dare. It looks You look gorgeous. See, I have to You look You know who you look like? You You look like the star of that very successful new streaming show called Black Rabbit that we all love.

That show's amazing. You look like the star of Black Rabbit. Black Rabbit streaming now on

Netflix. Wait, when? It's not out yet, is it? Well, no. by the time this airs. Yeah.

What's the date, Jay? Wait, when does it come out, Jay? September 18th, I think.

Wait, Jason, that's really exciting. It's only Oh my god, the show is going to be so good. I'm very happy. We don't need to talk about that. We don't need to talk about

um I do think it's enough with the London thing and the Long Island thing, Los Angeles, and and me, my heart, my my mind, my eyes, my ears, my chest, misses the feeling of your chest

against it. I know. Please come on. Did you Were you at dinner last night? I was going to I was going to FaceTime you. Were Did you go to

No, there was no There was no uh Sunday Funday. I was going to FaceTime you out of the blue cuz I know you love it out of

When's the last time there was a Sunday funday? Uh two Sundays ago. Two weeks ago, maybe three weeks ago.

Man, cuz we were miss a lot. Hot fudge fun day. Well, say it one more time. Still rolling.

The hot fudge fun day. Hot fudge fun. Oh, you did say it right. Because you would have a hot fudge there.

Yeah. You brought it together. Hey, thanks. Yes, but you brought your own fudge, isn't that correct?

Oh, yeah. Well, around the corner, that's where it's made. That's a That's a Sean.

Remember, I brought my own fudge to my birthday party. You did? Bless your heart.

You were out of town. No, I brought You brought your own caramel toppings. Brought my own caramel to my to my birthday party cuz we went to this place and they they were like, "Oh, they don't have the full uh arsenal of Sunday toppings on Sunday nights." Whatever.

That was nice. Luckily, um, our friend Sean organized it very sweetly. JB, you were in Atlanta and

No. And then I show up with my I had it in my pocket and I did it a little bit for a fact cuz I knew I was going to get [ __ ] for it. I pull it out.

Sean, actually, you didn't really give me [ __ ] You kind of laughed. Kimmel gave me a lot of [ __ ] and then sure as [ __ ] when the ice cream came out, everybody said, "Hey, can you pass can you pass?"

Kibble was first. Was it caramel sauce? Caramel sauce. I was like, "Oh, do you want some now?" Camel, you know.

Wait, Sean, how do you say that word? Caramel. I say uh uh caramel uh caramel ice cream or caramel swirl, right? I mean, I I kind of toggle between the two.

How's it spelled? How many A's are in it? Spelled. Spell. Spelled. C A Rel. A M- E. There's two A's, right?

I said spelled. I said spelled. You said spelt. I didn't I didn't I meant I It came out as that. I meant

Sean. I know this guy. This guy. Wait. Smelt from the guy who says caramel. Are you [ __ ] joking?

He's still I still can't believe he he was shocked that Beatles. What are you saying that is? You're getting thrown out of a moving car. Caramel.

Wait, I have a crazy story. I'd love a new dad. I've worn out I've worn out my my Haze uh can

I can do a lot I have lots of dad jokes ready. Okay, hurry up because our guest is probably falling asleep.

All right. You want a long story or a short dad joke? Short dad joke. Yeah. Amal and Juan are identical twins and their mom only carries one photo in her wallet. Because if you've seen one,

you've seen Boy, that's a that's a long way to go for [ __ ] Yeah. I laughed out loud when I heard that.

Uhhuh. All right. Um, all right. We're going to get to our guest, but real first, I just want to say, you know, saw Will's film second time the other day. I'm still

I can't wait to see it. Little [ __ ] starruck when I'm looking at this guy now. He's kind of ruined things. It's kind of like when I saw you doing your Tony Award-winning play that you're now doing in London.

It's you guys. You guys, you've got real talent. You know, you really dumb it down on this show, but you both have a little something special in there.

You can't keep it. Ouch. Boy, that compliment hurts. Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah. I like to like to balance it out, but [ __ ] me, Arnette. It's Listen, listen listener. It's called Is This Thing On? Triple Dot. Some people say ellipsies. Um, but it's a it's a great film. It's coming your way, I think, towards the end of the year.

Wait, so Black Rabbit comes out in September. Is this thing on? Comes out in November. December. It's like Oh, December. This is like a big deal.

But if you're at the New York Film Festival, you can see it there in October. That's true. That's true. Well, thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Um and and if you're in London right now, still, even now, if you're in London, you can go

at the Delort. At the Delort Theater, you can go How about Oscar? At the Chimmy uh Chimmy Cherry sauce.

Chimmy Cher at the Chimmy Cher at the Delort Barban. What about Oscar? What about that Oscar?

What about Oscar? What about Oscar? You forget about what it's called? What is it called? Leave it to Oscar.

Leave it to Here comes Oscar. Hey, what do you know about Oscar? Leave it. Leave it to Oscar.

All right, listen to me, guys. Uh, guys, quick quick reminder before the guests. I just want to say tickets go on sale Friday, September 12th um for our Hollywood Bowl night that we're doing right now. excited about that.

Very, very excited. Saturday, November 15th, right? Is our show date? Saturday, November 15th. Yeah. It's going to be incredible.

Come, come enjoy the chat and giggle under the stars in a very refined setting there in the hills of Los Angeles.

Uh, it's there won't be any fireworks. Uh, but except on stage. Huh, guys? Be a lot of fireworks.

All right, let's get into the show, please. Yeah. For your listening pleasure today, we have for you a woman with a real handle on how to make you laugh. But she's not a joke teller. She's an actor of the highest level. Her ability to play characters that are so odd and eccentric character.

It's something you end up watching with amazement and shock as you dab the laugh tears from your eyes. It's why she's been nominated for every single year she was on Saturday Night Live. I think I've got that right. I could not be a bigger fan of her talent and for just being around her. Very cool of her to come hang out with us today. Please welcome one of the greats, Miss Kate the Great McKinnon.

Willie got it. Is she still awake? There's Oh, wait. She's in the Criterion closet.

Uhoh. She's She's got the Criterion Collection behind her. Are those really Are those DVDs behind you or just a bunch of one?

No, no, they're books. I'm in I'm in a Hi. Hi. Oh, hello. Um, no. I'm in the um I'm in the uh offices of the publisher

of the book that I'm here to promote. Okay, let's start right off with it. But we don't have to talk about Let's pretend like we're not. Let's let it come up organic.

The name of the new book is Purple Purple Pearl. It's about a deep sea diver. Tell me, take it in there. Match her volume.

Okay, this is the Oh, she's putting her glasses on. And that means you just these are fake glasses that I wear to feel more comfortable.

They um they provide a barrier between me in the world and my interlocutors um that I need in order to feel safe.

Yeah. Um I can see you but you can't come close to me. Wait, are you reading from the book right now? Is this is this the first chapter of the book?

Wow. Oh boy. Wow. I have never been on a podcast before. No. Truly. Are you serious? This your first podcast?

I've never been. Yes. And I'm afraid. And I No, don't be. We're super safe out. It's a safe place. And no one can see you. They can just hear you.

No. Yeah. Even though you look incredible. Even though I have these glasses on to protect.

Are you literally in a closet? Is that why you're whispering? No. No. I'm No. This is I speak in dula tones. Uh this is my real voice. And um the presence of the microphone in my mouth is also making it easier for me to speak in my most delicate tones.

You just have it deep powerful. You know, you know what's really powerful, Kate, is when you can bring it down and you can bring you control the tone and the volume like that. That's real power.

They lean in. They come to you. Here they come. They pulled over. They pulled the car over

or they leave. No, they could leave. But if they can't see you, if they can't see you in the glasses, at least they can hear you now.

Yeah. Hey, listen. Purple Pearl is about somebody who dives for pearls that they're only purple if they're super deep. So, this is a diver that is particularly talented at at at diving deep. I think I've got it right.

It's a diver It's a diver named Natalie. Okay. and she uh has lost her costume jewelry and she gets in trouble because it's her mother's costume jewelry. What a

is this really it? And um no it's not. But I think I've just plotted my my new series. So I am going to go because I'm inspired.

By the way, if you open a show with somebody losing costume jewelry, I'm always

Me too. Me too. Detective show about Have you ever lost something? Have I ever?

You really weren't supposed to lose um my phone. My dad. That's the worst. That is about the worst feeling. You know what you lost a few years ago, Jason. But you get but you found

dignity. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That just hit my head on the wall behind me. Um hey, listen. I want to get right to

Kate McKinnon. Can I just say I think I think you're so funny. No, you are so great. No, this is part of the podcast. You have to put up with this on the podcast. You have to sit here and take it for an hour.

You're so funny and you're so uh um original and cool. I just I I don't know you at all. And this is this No. And I feel

we've Kate, we've never I I feel like we have become, you know, a lifelong fan of John.

Have you met our guest? I and passing. We've said hello. Yes. But never like on the road.

Yes. I'm on the road. Yes. We were I was driving by was at a red light. Yeah. Was a red light.

Driving an 88 Volvo station wagon. Right. That's me. But Kate, I remember the first time um I was doing a the My Rudolph show. It was like it was going to be a thing, but it was only one episode.

Under very underrated. Here it comes. And um and it was your first year I think of Saturday Night Live and Lauren was at this shoot that I was doing with Maya. And I turned to Lauren Lauren

and I said, "Hey, that new girl Kate McKinnon." And he said, he goes, "Isn't she special?" I go, "She is such a superstar." And he's like, "I know. We all we all know. We all feel it." And I was just like, "So everybody knew it right when you came on."

Lauren said that. Lauren Michael said that. Yeah. That's beautiful. Thank you for saying that.

But now Kate, yeah, what was the when was the first time you heard that? Um like how old were you when you privately cuz you're a very humble person. You didn't like go out and say, "Hey, uh everybody thinks I'm great." You just internally you thought, "Hey, you know what? I think I can make people laugh and I like the feeling and I want to do a little bit more of it." How old were you? Were you like

this ASMR episode? Were you were you like 20? Um when did it start happening? Oh my god, this is the most intimate smartless ever.

Um is it okay? Well, I know I um Gosh, you know what it was? Okay. I was in a I was in a pageant at church, a play

really. I was What denomination? Methodist. Okay. Um but like northern Methodist. So like everyone is like just gray and of like Dutch descent and um gray

and has you know chalky skin and uh we uh we were doing a play Daniel in the Lion's Den

and I believe I was playing Cyrus King of Persia. This one I don't know so well.

So So you're playing Cyrus. That's the choice part. I forget that. Yeah. No, it's really good part. And I decided to do it in a British accent to make myself feel feel more comfortable. And

those Methodists, they got to kick it up. They thought it was a hilarious choice. Yes. They weren't offended.

Because he's the king of Persia. Why would he have a British? No. No. I Well, I know. I was doing a British accent and I they they were laughing and I

I just always liked to do different voices other than my own because my own, you know, you're hearing it. It's like

so it was it was a choice. It was it was a choice. It was a way to What I'm saying is there there was a methodist to your madness.

But did you think but but did you but did you did you think it was going to be funny or were you doing it for to to like kind of protect yourself and then the the laughter was a bit of a surprise or were you trying

I love what you just said really. So it was a surprise. You're like, "Oh, if I kind of bend things uh a bit, A, it protects me and B, I get laughter, and that could be nice social capital."

Yes. Exactly. Yes. Yes. And how old were we? Um, I want to say 10. 10. Mhm. And but there were always in, you know, growing up in my family, there were everyone was doing voices. You had to do voices or you got kicked out.

No, the family you around around the dinner table. kicked out. Yeah. No, I didn't I didn't have a brother around the dinner table, you know, waking up, going to bed, just voices. Voices. Uh, Long Island.

People were funny people. What part of what part of Long Island? You know, the Northshore.

The North Sure. Yeah. Like we're talking about Suffach. We're talking Suffach County. We're talking Suffach County. NASA. NASA.

Yeah. People are watching. Oh, Nassau. No. NASA. Very good. What about you? Oh, he's all like we talking like Douglas. What are we talking about? No, not quite. Douglas,

did you see that documentary about that guy who killed all those people in Hey Kate, hold on one second.

The Gilgo Beach guy. Yes. Yes. I just watched him. It was crazy. Quick hot take from Sean on the documentary true crime series.

It was unbelievable. Why'd you mention the mass murderer? Anything else from uh from 2022 you want to um hit the audience to? How about Barbie? Have you seen that in a Ted Bundy?

How about Barbie? What about that weird Barbie? I'd love to. Yeah. By the way, Kate was in Barbie. She was

Did she play weird Barbie? Stupid ass. Back to you, Kate. Wait. Um, we growing up, you know, our big the big thing. No, I'm sorry. Gosh, the big thing growing up. I mean, the microphones my right there. You don't need to throw.

I'm licking the microphone. Um the I feel like I don't need to project. The um the big thing growing up was um the Amy Fischer Joey Butterfo

incident. Um Joey Butterfug was my grandfather's auto mechanic. No way. Really?

And it was exciting and because it was ours. It was Long Island. It was It was Long Island to a tea.

Yeah. And you know, I didn't Your grandfather deposed? Was he deposed? Was your grandfather deposed?

I suppose uh not. Um he would have said, but uh we it was just we you know and and my friends and I we would play we would play that. We would play

we would enact the saga. Really? You know, and I didn't realize at the time that Amy Fischer was being trafficked.

Oh, Amy Fischer was being trafficked. Oh, yeah. No, you didn't know that. I No, of course not. I didn't know that either. She was 17. He was 35. It was, you know. Yeah, she was being trafficked

from Suffach to Nassau. Well, there's a ton of traffic. Yeah, especially Especially if you get into Great Neck.

If you're If you're on the Northern Parkway, forget it. Well, what do you you know your stuff?

Yeah, I do. I'm showing off. You've been on the Meadow Brook, man. What is this?

Of course, I've been on the Meadow Brook. I'm You're from there. What is this? I spent I'm on Long Island right now. Yeah.

Wow. We'll be right back. And now back to the show. So, you did the you did the play. What happened? Did you start doing sketch com like you don't go automatically go from Daniel and the magic lion playing Cedric? Playing Cedric the Entertainer and then all of a sudden you stand up and you're in Lauren Michaels thinks you're the great next like what happens when

there you are. You've you're done playing the cello. Uhhuh. Right. You You played Amy Fischer. You played Mary Joe. You played

No, I was Joey. Oh, you were Joey. You were Joey Butterf. Okay. So, who was trafficking?

You was Okay. She was trafficking. Okay. So, then what' you do? You go to NYU. What did you do? How'd you What did you What do you

Colia? She's a smarty. I went there, but I you know, I did I did the plays in high school.

Sure. And I did a sketch at Colombia and then I um I auditioned. I went to an open call for um a show, the big gay sketch show, which was on the now defunct logo network.

And um they're very talented. Groundbreaking. Mhm. This is an Italian critic we have stuck in the back of the theater that's been in the process of getting thrown out for over

Never gets old. It never gets funny. Okay. Um um wait so big big sketch show was that was that the

So that was the first thing I ever auditioned for and I I got it. You got it? And I thought

How old were How old were you? I was 22 and I thought well this will be easy. Sure.

And then and then I I learned it became clear that it was a difficult career. Mhm.

And so then I I did uh UCB in New York, the Citizens Brigade Theater for many years.

Six Street days. Yes. Exactly. And then um I auditioned for what? Say again. What?

I just want to stop for one second here at UCB. We're on 26th. We We've got people coming in and out. Will probably was You didn't meet her there. Willie was

I didn't see you there. I was there every Sunday night ascat for about 12 years. Um,

I was so afraid to even go to Ascat. Wait, what what's the difference between ASCAT and UCB?

No, but you know, ASCAT is the Sunday night show that we used to go to that like an M for Tracy. It's an improc and Ian Roberts used to

What was the difference between that and UCB? UCB is the theater. ASCAT was the Sunday night show which was like a big long herald.

The name of the show. Anyway, okay. So, you were too afraid to go to ask, but who were you on? Were you in a were you on a comedy team or like with a

I did sketch and I did a lot of onewoman shows and I had uh No, never. And uh I I but that involved a lot of like I would have I did one where I had to it had a cake in it

and a full rotisserie chicken and seven wigs. And so I would have to bring all the wigs and then I would stop at the Gristitis grocery store above and buy a cake and a full rotisserie chicken

and bring them down. And so I was lugging those days of those days were exciting days and just lugging a lot of props and wigs. I had I had amassed a collection of of 45 or so wigs

um that were gross and had chicken juice in them and um they got all chickeny and they got all cakey.

Uhhuh. But when you but when you went back really quick sidebar I had an audition for In Living Color when I was like 21 Sean. Go ahead. Yeah. I auditioned for it in living color when I was 21 years old to replace quote the white guy is right was Jim Carrey and I go in with a bag of tons of wigs and I sit down and the girl the woman the cast director sitting right across from me and I go through all these characters that I put together in like 24 hours and at the end of it not one laugh not one laugh and she goes

wigs are fun aren't they? Oh [ __ ] And that's it. Oh Shnie, wait a second. I had to know.

How did we not know this? I had no idea that you had a bag of characters to match a bag of wigs.

I was just thinking we need one. Yeah, give us your best one, Shnie. Sorry, K. One sec. This is going to be

one. I want this, too. I made them. I made them up in 24 hours. I don't even remember what they [ __ ] You don't.

Hello. What's your go? There he is. There he is. Hello, mate. That guy's probably got severe bangs,

right? Yeah. All right. Back to you, Kate. Back to Kate. It's okay. You said it. You said when you were in Big Gay Sketch Show or something, you said, "Oh, boy. This was this is really hard. It's not what I thought it would be." What did you mean by that? What was hard?

Oh, just get just just uh you know, be being an a comedian, being an actor. I mean, I you know, auditioning stuff, getting getting jobs, you know, the very very difficult and and and finding your voice and developing material. You know, this this work turning into this is a lifelong craft, you know, practicing the craft. I thought Yeah,

I I I was I was naive and it's and it's uh you know it it turned out to be a whole thing.

Yeah. And but glad it's hard. It's it's it's not easy to navigate. It's it's harder to navigate than the Van Wick between four and six. Am I right?

Okay. Um hey, am I right? Are we talking about the Van Wick or what? Wow. K, you take the Southern State all the way. What do you do?

I'm not a maniac, but I will sometimes think the Bell Parkway. I'm not lying from JFK. I'll take the belt.

Oh, the belt's great, but you can't You can't put a se You can't put a semi-truck on the belt.

You can't put a semi-truck on the belt and then I'll take the Brooklyn battery tunnel.

My god. No, but really you take the LE all the way out. Obviously, I take the LE. I'm not a [ __ ] maniac.

Well, I don't know. I don't know you. At some point, you're switching. Okay. The plan going to Colombia, the plan going to Colombia since you majored, graduated with a degree in theater was to be an actor as you're living. Correct. You this this was how you're going to feed yourself.

No, I did not. I never in my wildest dreams imagined that that was possible. I can't believe that you're a smart person by virtue of going to Colombia. You major in theater. You come out with a degree there. How were you planning that you were going to tack to a completely different industry to to feed yourself and and provide shelter? The summer I graduated from college, my plan was that I was going to dress up as Pippy Long Stocking

and sell um popsicles in Union Square. And my gimmick would be that I would be dressed as Pippy Long Stocking and so everyone would buy my popsicles. So that was my professional plan.

Great markup on popsicles. I also was really wanting to teach English in Romania or or or one of the Balkan states

or Romanian in England. Yes. Wait, wait. So, you didn't imagine it? I find that so I mean, you must have known that even Sean Hayes thought he could make it in show business. You know what I mean? Like

with his wigs. Yeah. I got one on now. Never in never did I ever ever think that that was possible. No.

Mhm. Okay. So, how did the audition for SNL happen then? You were at UCB. You did like Lindsay Shookas came down and saw you. What happened?

Um, I was doing a showcase in LA and I uh I they invited me to audition and then I did.

And how did that audition go? Was it you were very nervous? I would imagine I was horrifically nervous. I was going to um

the restroom often. The restroom often. No, I was I was horrendously nervous. But then Bobby Moahan,

love Bobby. Uh I guess maybe had seen me at UCB doing a onewoman show and he came up to me and he said, "Hey, you're funny." And I um and then I could breathe. And that was it. So I I do credit him with

everything giving you a little prop up right beforehand. Um no, but seriously like that you know just when someone reaches out to you in the dark

here she comes you know and some all it takes is one get it because when someone has the has the kindness

Yeah. to s to see you preach it then you get a little bit taller and you and you can fly.

Yep. We're going to be right back. Um, no, but no, if if he had not done that, honestly, I I would be uh in Romania.

And they received you well. Were there were there was there was there generous laughter and warmth from the people in the dark.

I heard some uh titters, mild titters. Um, which was so encouraging because I had heard that there there would be dead silence. So, I was prepared for dead silence.

Yeah. And then when I got a single titter, I thought, "Okay, I'm flying." And um but I I I'd also practiced it a lot. Like I I like to wing stuff. I don't know about you guys.

Um but that I thought, if you listen to the show, we I'm all out of questions. Now, do they do they they don't let you know on the spot there, right? Do they do they call you? Does your agent call you? Are we represented at that moment by an agent? What tell what how did it all

I don't think I did at that point have represent I I think I had No, that's not true. I did I did have I did have an agent and a manager at that point.

Um bless. And so and so you get the call, you're elated, you're you're nervous, you go you go to you go what was the first day like over there at at SNL? Was it what you what you thought it might be? Um, it was I got guys I just was really really nervous and

I'm sure they all were. Oh, well, so the thing was it was just me. I was hired alone. What?

Five at the last five episodes of of a season. Oh my god. So I just I I it was like

um here's your computer and and bless them. I I had known a few folks there from UCB who rescued me from the choppy choppy watersh

of my own uh nervousness and really helped me out. Now, were you a writer or performer?

Performer. Performer right out of the gate. Um I just want to say like with the like with that with that audition like I practiced so many times. I must have I must have said that out loud 50,000 times and I felt okay about it because I had done that. But usually I'm winging it.

I feel like the the performers that really stand I mean you tell me because I only hosted once. I'm I've never been a cast member, but from what I see is the people that really stand out on Saturday Night Live really do their homework and really work on characters or the dialogue because a lot of the times I can't see you reading the cards like you're so in it. I don't see you reading the cards and a lot of people I do see reading cards and both, you know, everybody does both. But is any of that true that you memorize a lot of the stuff as opposed to rely on the cards? You personally,

I cannot memorize dialogue. whatever ability I ever had um left with my reliance on those Q cards and now I cannot memorize and I forget I I'm just I I can't remember stuff anymore.

I'm not going to give another shout out to Wally. We've done it too many times on this show so I'm not going to do it.

I'll do. But uh he is an incredible uh card. He is an incredible love card artist. We love

Do you miss it Kate at all? I do. I I miss I miss the people. I miss Wall-E. I miss Jenna and Chris, the stage managers, so much. I miss all of my friends. I miss um

Lauren Michaels. And yes, I miss it. And I miss um I miss being able to participate in commenting on uh current events. M um but I also am so happy to be going to bed at 10:30 which is when I would normally go to bed.

Right. Right. Did it get harder or easier as your uh talent uh confidence uh popularity um increased? Did it did you think it would get easier but maybe it gets harder because of the you know people are watching you?

Expectation. Um, I it was always hard and always fun. Yeah. And I It's the way people often describe Sean. You know that, right?

Yeah. Often hard. Always always hard and always fun. That's membal in high school, I think.

I mean, yeah. Sorry. I know. Sorry. It's just like it's just a [ __ ] crapshoot over here, Kate. We look

we don't want to take you down memory lane, but we have to because we want to get to know you. We want to know.

Let's shuttle all the way through SNL now. Let's get to the end of SNL and we bundle it.

We make the decision to move on. Bundle it. Frightening, but great success right out the door. and uh and and and now you're flying high and um but I bet it was a a little a little nerve-wracking at the beginning right?

Oh, just uh just I don't I don't I don't like change. And so it was um just terrible. I just I hate I hate goodbyes. I hate change. And so um it was uh not a decision made lightly. And I was just so sad. I just was so sad. and um really do miss uh everybody that I worked with because it's it's a beautiful it's such a family and it's uh

it's wonderful and I it's like Olive Garden in that place, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. A lot like Olive Garden,

but I um said that but then I I wanted to when you're there you are eating Yeah. bread sticks and

plus they do have also like unlimited bread. Um what about what what were you were you were you writing books at while you were doing this? What where where where does the writing come from? Where

oh oh that was just that was something that I started doing to uh when I like wasn't at SNL. I just I I always loved you know I love car I I love characters. I love I love big hair and I love

sushimi funny names. Sashimi sashimi and we will be right back. And now back to the show.

Um K can I ask you a serious question? What about what about Hang on. Yeah, I I got to come in. I got to get in there. So the the the big gay sketch show you were obviously gay and out because you were on a show called the big gay sketch show but then when you went to Saturday live did you have were you out and proud or was it something you struggled with keeping a secret or am I an idiot and you were out and and I I just didn't know or did that play any

bless your heart. Bless your heart. Uh no I was out I was it was on the internet.

Okay, great. So it must be true. It was on the internet in in 2006. So there there it was. And um and I'm glad I'm glad it was because

no pun no pun on the glad thing. Mhm. Tracy Glad as a LGBTQ organization because it was it was already it was already done and I I I so I uh you know I I am a coward and I I I don't know if I would have had the courage to do it if I had not already done it. I would have I would have had to. But then did you you conf did you is my wikipedia research accurate? Did you you confirmed all when you gave Ellen uh an award and thanked her for um blazing the trail of uh kicking the door down question.

I did I think it was pretty obvious the whole time. Um I did give Ellen that award. Yes.

Okay. And and um Wiki really framed that as a pivotal moment. Wow. Okay. I thought I was

gay gay gay before that, but that's cool. No, that's that's interesting. No, they're they're trying to claim it.

Beyonce was at my table that night. Beyonce. Yes. And she was wearing a dress that was so

nice. Nice shirt. But the shoulders were so tall and I don't know how she saw to her left or to her right.

Oh, wow. I guess she didn't need to. She was It was so respplendant. She was so I I couldn't look at her.

Well, the confidence to to just know that you only need to look forward that really speaks to a level of confidence that you're not worried about what's on either side. It's all as smooth as sailing. It's it's it's it's everything's wide open, wider than wider than the Grand Central Parkway Monday at 10 p.m. Just nothing.

Great. It's great. These call backs. You got to got to keep your knees bent, Kate. He'll keep coming. Um, do you think do you think do you think

so stupid? I mean before it turns into the northern state. Sure. Obvious. Obviously.

Obby. Um, now do you think that the trio is my favorite bridge? I don't know about you.

I do. I do like I like the trib. Not the GWB. No. Tap and zero. Trash. That's way too far away.

Isn't that what's called Cuomo now? Hey, you know what's kind of underrated is the Queensboro.

Oh my god. I love I also love the Queensboro Queensboro Bridge is pretty good. Also uh referred to as the Midtown um or bridge or the 52nd Street Bridge maybe. No,

never referred to as that. So Kate um No, he's up It is up in Midtown. It is up in It's the one that empties out with you all day, Will. I I really could. This is fun stuff.

Oh, you love the the Cross Bronx uh expressway. Oh. Oh, I do love the Cross Bronx. And what is the name of the Polish bridge? Cayenoski or whatever.

Pilaski. Kushkush. Pilaski bridge. That's on the That's on the uh uh BQE. Yeah. She's got the first one.

Is that right? Yeah. She's got the first name. You Oh, I'm sorry. This is is into Greenpoint.

Am I thinking of the wrong bridge? No, I think I'll say it one more time. Kushko will you know what I'm talking?

It's all lit up now. They got nice colored lights on. Reach in and rescue me. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Is it not a bridge? It is a bridge, but it's a But it's an Inter Brooklyn Bridge though right?

Chaos. Yes. I Yes. Yes. We're in a four-wheel slide here on the chaos. Um, this is pure chaos, you guys.

Hey, uh, uh, you know, you know, Kate, here on Kazisco. It's the Kazisco bridge. No, that's on the BQE.

Sure. Right. That's the That's the Kazisco. That's the one that's on the BQE. The Kisco bridge.

Thank you. cuz I thought I lost my marble. You're right. When you come off anyway. All right. So, guys,

I'm on the Palaski where you don't want Let's take a look at the live track traffic if we could. We got chopper up in here on the verit.

You know, by the way, a little sidebar here. I'd like to start a uh a a side um um

hustle something. Yeah. I'd like to see Will Arnett host Saturday Night Live. We get Can we get that momentum? Will

I know. Would you love What about for the movie coming out? Yes, for the movie coming out.

It's been too long. It's been too long. Who's running things over there now? Uh Lindsay is is is is she still there?

No. No. Well, whoever is is is in there. Let's Let's get Arnette over there. Okay. At least as a musical guest.

Yeah. There's too much. The history is too storied. You know what I mean? They love that over there. Makes it for a great story. Anyway,

bring your bongos, Will, and just play them. If you couldn't Who told you about the bongos?

I gave you those. Hey, if you couldn't You did give me those, Kate. If you weren't a New York Times bestselling author or America's sweetheart on the TV,

uh, or film. Let's not forget about the film jobs. What would you be doing? Carpentry.

Truly. You and Nick Offerman. Yeah. Really? And John Stewart. They say I no it's a it's a thing that uh yeah folks are doing carpentry and so am I and I am I'm doing it and that's what but I always said I have always said

I know you have that I would make cabinets that I would want to make cabinets. It's true

and you threatened the world with that. No with the whole wik said that and I and I and I now I have made a cabinet.

Is that true? A real cabinet? Yes I have. Do you do an Amish style with no nails? No, I'm not that good. I'm not a carpenter.

Now, it sounds like we're upstate when we're making cabinetry. Sure thing. Sure. So, you got you got you got like a handsome old farm uh like a barn up there that you've kind of refurbished.

It's fine. Sure. No, I'll bet it's good. I've I've got a garage and and I got a bunch of stuff in there.

Tools. Bunch of stuff going on. Yeah. So, that's my new So, when I got You got a workshop in the garage?

Yeah, I got a workshop. Yeah. Wait, truly. You've got a bench and you've got a bunch of you got a bunch of power tools and things like that. I bet this fun to buy.

I have I have You love a Home Depot. I go to Lowe's. I have a local Lowe's. Um and yeah, that's what I So when I left SNL, I needed to know that I was jumping to

something. Yeah. Which was making cabinets. And that's what I have done uh in my spare time.

And you've just done the one so far? I've done a bunch of stuff. Okay. You don't need to scream. Um, what's your favorite? Um, what's what do you mo are you most proud of the of the captain?

Lo, we nailed it. Sorry. Go ahead. That was just a quick word from the gang over at Lowe's that just came through on my text. I'm so sorry. I'm [ __ ] shameless, guys. I'm sorry. I just made 4,200 bucks.

Oh, wait. Kate, do you have do you have a certain thing in cab in in in woodworking that you feel like you're you're best at? you know,

trim molding. Keep it clean, please. Okay. Sorry, different. Sorry. Okay. Hey, Kate, by the way, this book, so so I have a 5-year-old. Um, and is this book going to be appropriate for my 5-year-old?

Okay, so the books Okay, so we, you know, I was joking before about the book being about a diver named Natalie. That's not true. The book is the second in a it's the second book

in a series of books called the Millisent Quib School of Etiquette for young ladies of mad science. Okay. And it's it's a middlerade novel which is for ages um you know 8 to 14.

Harry Potter is a middle-grade novel. Heard of it. Okay. Anyway um so at Rald Dah was a middle-grade author. Heard of him?

Yeah. any horse. So this No, so I started writing this book um I I came up with this idea with these characters like 10 years ago and whenever I wasn't at SNL I would be writing this thing and then so when I finished at SNL final I had time to

what happens when she starts talking fast you guys leave her alone and um and so this so the secrets of the purple pearl is the second in the Millisent Quib series and It's about a mad scientist who starts a school for girls in a repressive turn of the century town. And then in the second one, The Purple Pearl, you know, they're at a hotel and they're having an adventure and they're looking for a Purple Pearl.

No, I do like those. I do like those uh um those books are what? The middle What's it called?

Middle grade. Middle grade. Middle grade. Middle grade books. They're very to get kids to get I read Harry Potter when it first came out in the 90s because I was like, what's all the what's what's going on with all this? I want to kind of know

in between your Holocaust books in between in between this guy. You have any questions on World War II? Uh bring

that's a true story. You know what? I'm not reading World War II stuff anymore.

Oh, what you what have you moved on to? Some sort of uh I just finished. He knows the ending.

I just I do. That was the uh I just read this book about the uh the siege of Mecca. That was a couple weeks ago. And then I read Freedom by Jonathan Fronen. That was really good. It's a little old. It's older, but I I just read it recently.

That's That's fiction though. Yeah. Friends. Yeah. Yeah. So, it's really sort of broad my horizon recently. Thank you. Um uh uh were you writing were you writing when you were um like at SNL and or did you have designs on writing uh literature in this way?

Yes, I wanted to I really I wanted to be a a YA uh no a middle-grade novelist. Why?

Okay. So, middle grade. So, the thing about YA is it's like monsters and making out. Love that.

Middlerade is fantasy. It's it's it's discovering your identity. It's it's grappling with questions of do you want to be how do you want to appear in the world? Who are you? What are you for?

Right? What are you fighting for? What are you willing to sacrifice to fight for it? These are the questions of middlerade and and so I'm very drawn to the genre. Also, it's it these these books can be really funny and they and people characters can have really good funny names and I think names and hair and funny voice are the most important that that does a character make.

Now, what about the illustrations then in these books? How involved with you with that are you? I would say that I was involved that the the illustrator uh is a beautiful artist named Alfredo Caceres and he did such beautiful art. I did have like ideas of what the stuff you know cuz it's imagination and and I I I I could see it in my mind. So I made little doodles and then he he made beautiful art.

Right. So you had some notes and was Alfredo um amendable to your notes or was that an interesting creative negotiation? He was a beautiful collaborative process and he's um it was wonderful.

Okay. I I described and he created Yeah. Kate McKinnon. It's a Monday and you have to talk to us donkeys and then you hang up. You leave you leave the publishers house. Whatever.

Donkeys. Okay. Okay. Uh you're some of my favorite comedians. Yeah. What's the What's the rest?

Why are your eyes closed? You keep closing your eyes when you say that. What do you leave? When you leave the publishers's office, where do you go? What do you do on a Monday like today? Had you not been doing this, what are you doing?

Well, it's hot in New York. She's going to Union Square to sling popsicles, right?

No, but I mean, are you going to the movies? Are you going to a bookstore? Are you going for lunch? What are are you watching reality TV? What are you doing? This is the thing we want to know about Kim McKinnon. Okay, let's get Let's get inside the mind. What are you doing?

Um, I do I do Well, I I I'm going to be doing some Stonemasonry later, but that's another story. I do watch a lot of reality television.

Oh, what's your favorite? Wait, are you a Love Island girl or are you an alone girl?

I have I have done all of that. Try Outlast on Netflix. Outlast Jason show. Yeah. Listen, I mean, you know, I'm totally

Oh, you did. You did that? Yeah. It's like a combo between Alone and Survivor. That's an aggregate show.

Yeah, it's an aggregate joint. Yeah. Yeah. We got a new one coming. Wow. You got your hands in a lot of pies.

Yeah. Well, that got him in so much trouble obviously back in the day. So then, so you're going to

You're licking cherries off your stuff. Wow. So wait, so we're so we're driving back upstate in your Volvo stage?

In the Volvo Stage. Prius. In a Prius. Prius hybrid. Okay, good for you. And uh you'll be there by um you'll be there uh you'll be there 4:35 well before dinner. And

well that depends on the on the traffic on the G. Are you are you a cooker or do you or do you like to order in?

I cook every day a day. This is an honest podcast. I cook every day three times a day. I must

What's the What's the most What's the most uh what's the thing that you cook the mostly for yourself? Yeah. You go to

What's your go? Um I cook I you know I'm I've become a gardener. Big gardener. Okay.

And I um You got veggies? You got veggies. So I make I just chop up whatever I've got and I just

primo there. I do it. Yeah. And plant parmesian. Yeah, that's what I do. Oh my god.

A milange. A vegetable milage over whatever. Listen, I got I got I got a question for you and I want you to be honest with me on this.

Yeah. Okay. Whitest stone or thro's neck bridge. If you're going to Westchester get off Long Island.

I'm just Yeah. To get off Long Island. Be [ __ ] honest. No, be honest. Neck. Throgs neck.

Throgs neck. Frogs neck. neck. Oh [ __ ] it'll land slide. Hey, you know what? I We're going to take it out on a high note right there.

Whit Stone. Kate McKinnon, you're one of the all-time greats. You're you're you're you're a [ __ ] comedy [ __ ] heavyweight. I swear to God, this

you know your way around the uh tri the tri-state area. Um you can coax a laugh out of people.

She can hammer a nail. She can pick a carrot. You know how to coax a laugh. You're the best. I can pick a carrot.

Yeah, I And I think you could, too. By the way, you just buy yourself a little discount next time you go into Lowe's. That's guaranteed.

Yeah, they nailed it. Lowe's. We nailed it. And you know what else, Kate? You nailed it today, huh?

You did nail it. Oh, I thank you, boys. And I know you don't like goodbyes. Um so, uh when when you're done, you can just slam that laptop. Um, and uh, and just blow us a little kiss and uh, we'll pretend it's not over. And we love you and uh, love you all. See you again. Did you get the script yet for Office Christmas Party 2? Just check your inbox. Okay. We'll see you on set.

I will. I thank you. I thank you. I'd like to play a different character. No, no. Yeah, we're all going to rock.

I'd like to play a desk. Oh, so you guys, you two knew each other from that a little bit. Oh, we

Yeah, we go so far. Bury the lead much. No, I don't like to talk about my own stuff. It's Black Rabbit September 18th on Netflix or Outlast if you like reality.

Do you guys shoot that in Hyram, Georgia? Is that where you shot Office Christmas Party?

Well, I know it was a lot of night shoots on a sound stage. Yeah. Thanks everybody. Um,

love you. Mean it. Thank you so much. We'll see you soon, Kate McKinnon. Everybody read The Purple Pearl. the Purple Pearl

and get ready for uh the next bit of uh acting from from our miss here cuz she's the tip top.

Thank you so much. The great Kate McKinnon, guys. Thank you for doing the show, Kate.

All right. Catch you later. Byebye. Okay. Bye. Bye. Slam it. Or you just leave it. There it is. Yeah. Well, now that is she's just a nice person there with incredible levels of talent and creativity all packed into one brain.

What a Yeah. What? She's made so many people laugh. You know, on that wiki page, they've got all of her impressions listed that she did on Saturday Night Live. It must be like 50 or 60 names there, and I didn't even start clicking on them because I would have been late for the the record. But

good Christ. Uh, yeah. Do you guys do any impressions? True. No. Hey, Arnette, stop trying to Google a good uh uh buy.

I'm not. I got one. Do you really? All right. Keep it keep it warm. Any impressions from either one of you or actually Sean, we've heard your uh British cab driver was it earlier?

Yeah, but something like that. Okay. Uh uh wait, what's an impression that an impression of like a famous person? Um, like what about like

remember did you ever see that show um take your time. Do you ever see that show the night of? Did you ever see that show on HBO? The night of.

Yeah, sure. And the the woman who the the the older woman who played the prosecutor.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What is her name? She's such an incredible actor. Yeah, she's so good. I I I used to talk I used to imitate her very good all the time and she would

boy I used to we have to I have it all on my shoulder here we got Wait by the way you just reminded me of something

I saw over the weekend uh Amy Madigan plays a character in a movie called weapons.

Oh I want to see that movie. This movie is so godamn good. This guy, Zack Kger, writer, director. Holy [ __ ] is he talented. In it, Josh Brolan's in it. This movie is so freaking good, you guys. I'm I'm serious. It's

No, I heard it's got 100%. Amy Madigan plays somebody very disturbing. And it's got wigs and teeth and a voice. Oh my god, is it good?

Wigs and teeth. Oh my god, I love wigs and teeth. It's It's no Is this thing on, but it'll it'll do until it comes out. Okay. Yeah. And uh and Oscar's keeping things what is it? Keep it keeping it tight. Keeping it right with Oscar.

Uh let let's ask Oscar. Is that what it's called? Let's ask Oscar. It's actually called Good Night Oscar, but I wish it was called Goodbye Oscar.

Oh Lord help us. Cue the music. Smart bless. Smart less. Smartless is 100% organic and artisally handcrafted by Michael Grant, Terry, Rob Armjarf, and Bennett Barbco. Smart less.

Questions about this episode

What is discussed in "Kate McKinnon | SmartLess"?

In order: 0:00 London, Los Angeles, SmartLess, Tony Award; 5:00 Purple Pearl, Criterion Collection, Delort Theater, Hollywood Bowl; 10:00 Kate McKinnon, Methodist, Daniel in the Lion's Den, Saturday Night Live; 15:00 Barbie, Gilgo Beach, The Big Gay Sketch Show, Weird Barbie; 20:00 Jim Carrey; 25:00 Saturday Night Live, Sean Hayes; 30:00 The Big Gay Sketch Show; 35:00 Grand Central Parkway, John Stewart, Saturday Night Live, Will Arnett; 40:00 Harry Potter, Lowe's, Freedom, Millisent Quib School of Etiquette for Young Ladies of Mad Science; 45:00 Kate McKinnon, Office Christmas Party, Outlast, Lowe's; 50:00 Amy Madigan, Michael Grant Terry, Saturday Night Live, SmartLess.

What is mentioned in this SmartLess episode?

64 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Saturday Night Live, Kate McKinnon, Purple Pearl, SmartLess, London, Los Angeles. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "Kate McKinnon | SmartLess"?

The episode runs 53 min; the transcript is about 10,234 words in 316 timestamped sections.

More from SmartLess

About this transcript: the episode's spoken words as captioned on YouTube, split into timestamped sections. Reclip.Me locates every person, work and idea in the text, keeps the time it is first named, and quotes the words around it verbatim. Last updated November 18, 2025.