Transcript

Laura Dern | SmartLess

From SmartLess · Episode page · Watch on YouTube

· 1 h · 11,563 words · 285 timestamped sections

This is the full, timestamped transcript of "Laura Dern | SmartLess", an episode of SmartLess published December 8, 2025 (1 h, about 11,563 words). It mentions 36 people, works and ideas, including Scotty Scott Icenogle, Blue Velvet, Is This Thing On?, Ozark, Tubi.

What this episode is about

The content features a playful and candid conversation among hosts about personal experiences with parenting, friendships, and the dynamics of their relationships. They share humorous anecdotes while reflecting on the joys and challenges of family life, including parenting memories and discussions about the possibility of adopting children.

Key takeaways

  • When your podcast lacks co-hosts, it risks becoming Smart Less: all gaps, no giggles.
  • Navigating parenting is like assembling strollers: infuriating but essential for smooth rides.
  • Adopting after 50? Shawn sees caloric pitfalls; hiring nannies isn't everyone’s band-aid.
  • "I'd rather regret not having kids than regret having them"—a paradoxical hallmark card!
  • Banquet speech tip: Improvise humor at Will Arnett; attendees might survive the bore-fest.

Who speaks in this episode?

What is discussed, and when

  1. – 10:00: Blue Velvet, Is This Thing On?, Jay Kelly
  2. – 20:00: Nepo baby, Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore, Family Plot, Hal Ashby
  3. – 30:00: Blue Velvet, David Cross, Rambling Rose, Smooth Talk
  4. – 40:00: Blue Velvet, Industrial Light & Magic, Is This Thing On?, Nicholas Cage
  5. – 50:00: Is This Thing On?
  6. – 1:00:00: Battle of the Network Stars, Is This Thing On?, Oyster Bay, Palm Royale

Notable quotes from "Laura Dern | SmartLess"

  • And I'm also love and I've had the honor of being in a movie with her. She we saw in Blue Velvet Wild at Hard. She ran her first Academy Award nomination. She won an Academy.
    about Blue Velvet · at
  • Wait, so for Tracy who may not know, I think she knows. Will and Laura star in the upcoming is this thing on director and Sean Hayes co-stars and Sean Hayes and Scotty Scott Iceogle as well.
    about Is This Thing On? · at
  • Laura, I just saw you in another great movie yesterday. Jay Kelly.
    about Jay Kelly · at
  • Just knew. I guess you know there are things you know about that you loved but my mom was doing Alice doesn't live here anymore with Martin Scorsesei and my dad was doing a…
    about Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore · at
  • That because at the time people would come up to me telling me what a bad guy my dad was because he'd killed John Wayne. and for your sister, my dad was, I think, the only person to successfully kill John Wayne in a movie.
    about John Wayne · at
  • Scene together and somehow this subject of quote nepo babies came up and he's like yeah I'm a Nepo baby. And I thought oh right no one ever talks about you know legacy like the…
    about Nepo baby · at
  • Ever child, mother, daughter, child, parent were nominate, both got Academy Award nominations for Rambling Rose, a film that I adore. It's an you're incredible in that movie…
    about Rambling Rose · at
  • Relate to this because it was of an era that we grew up around my mom's Battle of the Network Stars Award.
    about Battle of the Network Stars · at

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

  • Scotty Scott Icenogle — Person · 18 mentions
  • Diane Ladd — Person · 2 mentions
  • Hal Ashby — Person · 1 mention · first at
    Mind-blowing directors at work with them. And then, yeah, as a kid, Hal Ashby was my dad's neighbor as well as a colleague and, became such a hero director to me and a lot of directors.
  • John Wayne — Person · 1 mention · first at
  • Payton Manning — Person · 1 mention · first at
    Bummer for you both. But we like him, but we'll we also got to work with Payton Manning. And when Payton and I had a scene together and somehow this subject of quote nepo babies came up and he's like yeah I'm a Nepo baby. And I thought.
  • Treat Williams — Person · 1 mention · first at
    Was we made it for under $2 million. I was in every scene. And it was a really radical film with myself and Treat Williams. There's a very deeply troubling and very complicated…
  • David Cross — Person · 1 mention · first at
    It. hey, I was watching JB, weirdly enough, on Instagram, Cross, David Cross, posted a clip from Arrested Development, and I was watching Oh, no. I saw him do doing stand up.
  • Sean Winston — Person · 1 mention · first at
    Yeah. That was crazy. And it was amazing because the incredible Stan Winston had built animatronic puppets.
  • Nicholas Cage — Person · 1 mention · first at
    The year before, two years before, something like that. And so I told Nick Cage that I had been offered this opportunity and I was I haven't read it yet, but all I know is Stephen explained that I guess there's.
  • Dennis Muren — Person · 1 mention
  • Joyce Carol Oates — Person · 1 mention
  • Justin Bateman — Person · 1 mention
  • Kyle MacLachlan — Person · 1 mention

Books & papers

Companies & orgs

  • Ozark — Company · 3 mentions
  • Tubi — Company · 3 mentions
  • Industrial Light & Magic — Company · 1 mention · first at
    There was this new idea called CGI and there was this company called ILM Industrial Light Magic and [sighs and gasps] you know Dennis Muran was this guy I met on set and they were talking about how they could paint an image on the.
  • Du-par's — Company · 1 mention

Concepts & topics

Places & events

  • DUMBO — Place · 2 mentions
  • Oyster Bay — Place · 1 mention · first at
    This. Sean does this scene. Lauren knows I mean when the So, we're in the Oyster Bay house and he's got to he and Scotty have to go and it's a stretch. They had to go in and…
  • Bozeman, Montana — Place · 1 mention
  • Glen Ellyn, Illinois — Place · 1 mention

Full transcript with timestamps

Uh, hey gang, Jason Baitman here, uh, doing a cold open for Smart List. I'm all by myself. I don't have the other two guys. So, this is the horrifying look into what this podcast would be without Sean Hayes and Will Arnett. Just me talking, gaps, no fun, no humor, nothing interesting. Welcome to smart list.

Smartless. Smart. Smart less. All right. So, listener, we've got uh Will beaming in from Bosezeman, Montana. We've got Sean P. Hayes there in uh downtown Hollywood. He Oh, there it is. Scotty is applying chapstick onto Sean's lips

cuz that's the role they like to play. Well, that just happened. Yeah. Well, Jason Jason threatened that he don't do it and I made him do it.

That was uh Does does Scotty ever call from the restroom? I'm done. Sean Wipy. Okay. No, no, don't. Not in a while. Not in a while.

Willie, don't Will, don't you miss the days? Don't you miss the days of wiping the bums and changing the diaper and the whole like

Yeah. shushing them to And then what about doing that to your kids? Oh, you son of a gun. Son of a gun. Son of a gun. I do miss it. And I just we we just sort of especially now that uh my little guy is is five.

He just seems like such a big boy now. Kind of doing it a little bit. Yeah. But he just he just seems like such a big boy now. When is he six? When's when is his birthday?

In May. Oh, yeah. Yeah. How about that? Yeah. Now, Sean, and you know, we can cut this and this is this is getting too personal.

Or we can cut this in. We can cut this into the middle of another episode and drop it in.

Have you and Scotty ever had a serious conversation about maybe adopting? You know, it's funny you say that. I uh Yes, but no. Like I it's unfortunate that now right now at this age is the time I'm like, "Oh boy, I I could really have a kid. I think it would be really fun to be a dad, but unfortunately it's too it feels like it's too late because of the energy and that it requires and all that energy." Yes.

And so I feel like that's what a staff is for, Shauna. So staffed up, right? Couldn't you Will like three night nurses, four nannies?

Yeah. But then what? But then I would feel bad about the kid because the kid wouldn't like I I'd have to take it to Disneyland. I'd be too tired.

Yeah. But you'd be like uh like you know like the the old millionaire uh distant unavailable dad in the wheelchair

barking orders. Yeah. From the No, but I mean you know what I mean? Like my brain is there but like I I it's the my brain came too late.

I think you'd be great no matter what. Me too. Me too. I know what would happen is it would happen and you would be absolutely obsessed, Sean, in the best way.

Yeah. 50 is the new 30. Oh no. What are you going to do? Your headphones are plugged in. You took your sweater off. Take the plug off.

I can't I can't unplug the [ __ ] dummy. I took my sweater off over my headphones and I'm

This is the guy who tries to take his sweater off in the car when he's driving.

You know what, JB? I think it's better he didn't have a kid. You know what I mean? I just saw that.

I need the parents. Can you imagine him trying to collapse a stroller? Oh my god.

By the way, trying to get it in the trunk. Nothing nothing tests your intellect more than trying to figure out how to collapse one of those strollers

or or by putting in a car seat and trying to trying to strap in the the the the the seat belt thing behind it and into the and the the anchors.

I'm still in I'm still in the booster phase. I'm I'm out of the full car seat, but I am still in the booster phase. than it is. I still do have

sweaty moments of trying to find the thing, the hook underneath and I'm like just one second, one second and then I'm god. [sighs]

But no, but there a lot of parents are really bad marketers at it because like the second the baby goes crazy and it's having a tantrum and it's in its arms, they look over their shoulder and they mouth to you. They go, "Don't have a kid."

I know. Do you know what I mean? And you're just like, "Well, now I don't want to because you just I just so witnessed that."

Yeah. But those are just the moments, you know? What was the line, Sean? that you used to always use. You You'd say like, "I'd have kids.

I'd rather regret not having them than have them and regret it later." Yeah. It's a great line.

It's a great be on a greeting card. I mean, it's just it's just it's abstract, but it's great.

Warming. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Well, listen, you got Ricky, you know, and Ricky doesn't talk back. He just barks every once in a while.

Barely. I saw I saw JB Sean, I haven't seen you in forever. I know. I haven't seen you in forever.

Yeah, I saw Sweet Willie last night. Oh, where? At this event. some fancy dancy thingy involved. Oh, the governor's thing. That's it. I didn't know that was last night.

That was last night. And I said to um I actually said in my thing, I said a few words at the start and I said um

Oh, yeah. mentioned the podcast and I said and Jason is actually here today and if you see him, just go up and touch him, hug him. He loves strange.

It's like a receiving line. Wait, so did you know I was going to be there or were you just Did you improvise that?

I just improvised that. Yeah, just Yeah, just in the moment. This guy's got skills. He's not afraid of a microphone in a spotlight.

It was a crazy room and I wanted to make sure to be just kind of respectful and it was such a great night.

How was it? Was it long and and boring or kind of fun? Pretty short. It was pretty short. Yeah,

that's good. Yeah. So, all right. Well, there it is. There it is. [sighs] Tell you who's not short.

Oh. Oh, we got we got a tall guest. And uh I will say that this she is an acclaimed actress, producer and filmmaker

known for versatility, emotional intelligent performances across film and television.

Mhm. Born in LA. Both her parents are acclaimed actors themselves. She started acting at a young age. She has been in some of my favorite movies of all time. And I'm also love uh and and and I've had the honor of being in a movie with her. She we saw in Blue Velvet Wild at Hard. She ran her first Academy Award nomination. She won an Academy.

Look at this. Huh? Look at the seamless top. I was going to say she's our friend Laura D. Exciting.

I can't wait to drill you about just the tortures of working with Will Arnette. That was least favorite part.

First of all, first of all, no, no, hang on. Before we get into her least favorite part, cuz she has a lot of least favorite parts. I will say, Laura, I love I can see in the reflection of your window the fire the fire going.

I mean, guys, and it wasn't even planned. This is going to be the coziest episode ever.

It's so cozy. But by the way, has every single guest ever told you that the hardest acting job of their life is staying quiet while you're hysterical and all I want to talk about is Sean and Scotty as parents. What? That's my dream coming.

This is your time. This is your turn. Go get him. Talk it in. Laura, give give him a good pitch cuz you've got a great kid or two

two great kids and she's such a great mom. Oh my god. Tell Sean how great he'd be. And age is not age is not a factor.

I don't know. It's not a factor. And I liked the citizen cane imagery. I sort of like

in the wheelchair of Sean of Sean rolling against the parent preschooler and Yeah. They're only going to be 10 years old before they have to wipe me.

I like the idea of you Sean of you uh you Scotty and your child eating at the at at one end of a huge like 30 person table. Yeah,

right. With the and then butler coming in and finish your homework. Wow. The three of you at Dupars. I'm just

Oh my god. Dup. I'm so happy. Wait, so for Tracy who may not know, I think she knows. Will and Laura star in the upcoming is this thing on director

and Sean Hayes co-stars and Sean Hayes and Scotty Scott Iceogle as well. That's correct. We're both in it as well.

Incredible in this movie. I will talk about Shawn and Will as well, but I have to start with Scotty.

Scotty. Scotty has one of my favorite lines in the movie, Laura, in that scene where all of us are in that scene and they say, "I want to raise a toast to, you know, somebody who's done a great thing." You hear Scotty go, "Thank you."

All right. Exactly. Exactly. Oh my gosh. Where was that great apartment? That was an awesome apartment.

Oh my god. That was Dumbo, right? That was in Dumbo. That was Yeah, that was Bradley and Andrew Day's apartment. their characters. Um, it was a great apartment.

Amazing. It Well, they turned it into a great apartment. Yeah. Yeah. Um, Laura, I just saw you in another great movie uh yesterday. Jay Kelly.

J Kelly. Nice. Nice going. Oh, I want to see. Nice going. Thank you. This is what I want to see.

She doesn't really waste her She doesn't waste her time in bad stuff, guys. I know.

When's the last time you saw her in a bad project? You can't. I challenge you. It doesn't exist.

Okay. If you want it to be a challenge, I can. Laura, how how do you pick projects? Is it is it script, director? Is there an order or like what speaks to you as the as the role and you don't care about the other stuff or how do you pick?

I guess first I ask if any of you are in it and then if I'm lucky on the last one,

by the way, three out of three because and it always interests me. It's people that come up to me that know specific films that I'm in that they love, have seen me over the years. mention a few of the films they're grateful for and then also tell me how much they love me in Ozark and I'm like is it because my name is Laura confusing this is it just the Laura connection but Laura Lenny will also tell you this

really you guys get stopped for each other yeah yeah really so I kind of so we've worked together

I can see the people make that brain fart and they're like I loved you in Ozark with Justin Baitman And

exactly. Yeah. Yeah. That covers all the bases. Yeah. Laura, you started. Listen, we're going to get into choosing roles. Uh, well, first of all, you can answer Sean's question. What What do What is your criteria?

Is there a process? Yeah, I would say that I Did you choose? Well, thank you. Um, I one have gotten very blessed to be chosen. So I I don't know that uh I think it's more about luck than the choosing and and if we are lucky and as our careers evolve we maybe get to do some of the choosing but when I was a kid and getting to watch my parents work with incredible filmmakers.

I didn't know what was happening. I was just a six sevenyear-old kid on set. Um, I fell in love with their relationship with filmmakers and what that felt like and and looked like to see people understand or have an instinct about my parent in a way that I felt I knew them intimately,

things that others didn't know about them. And I thought, man, this is such a crazy

dynamic that there are these people that get them in a way they may not even have caught up to in themselves. So I sort of fell in love with that relationship before I even understood what acting was like.

And so I always dreamt of getting to work with master filmmakers. And you know I got lucky at a young age that extraordinary directors you know hired me.

But did you did you do you remember filmmakers being around the house? Like filmmakers that we know filmmaker like do you remember?

Yeah. Oh yeah. I remember when I was six, my summer vacation that became the year that I then went to my parents and said I wanted to start studying acting and became kind of obsessed with the idea of it, which seems so absurd now, but I just knew. I guess you know there are things you know about that you loved but um my mom was doing Alice doesn't live here anymore with Martin Scorsesei and my dad was doing a film family plot with um Alfred Hitchcock and I went back and forth between those two sets.

So for my sister who might not know your dad is Bruce Stern and your mom is Diane Lad who I'm sorry just recently passed and so sorry but yes she's fantastic.

Same. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. Um, so yeah. Yeah, it was an amazing thing just like watching these,

you know, mind-blowing directors at work with with them. And then, you know, yeah, as a kid, Hal Ashby was my dad's neighbor as well as a a colleague and, you know, became such a hero director to me and

a lot of directors. Did you do something in Allison doesn't live here anymore? I was an extra. Yeah, I ate an ice cream cone and um and I had to I think they did like 16 takes or something, so I had to eat 16 ice cream cones. And Marty said to my mom,

Sean, they're not still casting, by the way. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sean said, I said he's been paid for licking before, but

Oh my god. I thought it was going to be a leader sometimes for free. Um um but he had sort of commented in front of me to my mom like, "Oh my god, she just ate 16 ice cream cones and she didn't throw up. Like that kid's going to be an actress." I sort of went, "Oh, someone complimented me."

Do you have any recall at all about what kind of person Alfred Hitchcock was? Yeah,

guys. It the craziest thing I remember, you know, cuz there's all kinds of stories, you know, reputationally about him. But

all I know is I was super little and a bit intimidated anyway whenever I went on set. I always thought I was in the way and kind of shy.

And he had props make a mini director's chair that he put next to him and let me sit there with him. No way. Somebody took a picture of [clears throat] that.

I I you know what? I have one photo with them on set, but not in the director's chairs, which is crazy.

Just sitting next to him. And I didn't know. All I knew was, you know, this man who would Yeah. like laugh hysterically at my dad. He thought my dad was so funny. And I just loved that because at the time people would come up to me telling me what a bad guy my dad was because he'd killed John Wayne. Um, and for your sister, my dad was, I think, the only person to successfully kill John Wayne in a movie. So, he was not very wellliked at the time, but loved for being a bad guy in westerns, but also

as a kid, you're sort of intimidated by people talking about like, "Oh, man, do I love to hate you." I was like, "Oh, okay. Enjoy your time at Disneyland. Sean Hayes is with his child the other ride."

No, he was too tired. He has the man in the wheelchair. Yeah, exactly. Vroom vroom.

Did you did you ever feel any sort of um or did you start too early to feel any sort of

um intellectual pressure to to work as consistently as your parents have? Like that's that's a those are real tall bars to try to match, jump over, live up to.

I mean, you made it, but like this is such a question for you as well. And I will say one thing I so love every time I get to see Jason because of our shared friends

is I find you and we find a corner and then we just go and we share growing up amidst family at young ages working amidst other family members.

Did you guys ever cross paths when you were young? Did you have did you guys have Hollywood friends

in common? I don't think so. No. No. Laura was, you know, the whole stratosphere uh uh uh higher than that.

Don't you dare. The stratosphere the stratosphere to me was yours like but living up to to what your your parents were so immensely famous your entire life. Were did were you were you even conscious that you were setting yourself up to like how could I ever live up to that or that that never got got in your way, did it?

No. I feel like I was so young Yeah. that it was only later that any of that occurred to me or I probably never would have done it. Um

well but but but but before you said for for any any kids out there that that do struggle with that like thank thank God you didn't let it get in your way because it shouldn't because it is you are a completely individual person separate from your parents. you know, even though you may want to go into the same uh occupation as them, whether it's acting or not, like it's completely natural that a kid would want to go down the same lane they've they've watched and admired because your parents are your first heroes. And so, why wouldn't you want to go and do the same thing that they were doing? And it it doesn't matter whether you end up doing the same uh accomplishments that they do. It's just it's I don't know. I I just think I think

most professions [clears throat] we Yeah. And most professions we know only kind of revere legacy families or going into the family business. Your butcher, a doctor you go to. By the way,

knowing your kids, they're just hilarious, brilliant people. And I'm just can't wait for them to write and direct and act if they choose it

because it's innate in them. And Will and I had an amazing experience because working on our movie, which I will get into and divulge all these beautiful things about Will.

Sorry guys, I'm going to be super reverent about Will. It's going to be a bummer for you both. But um we like him, but

we'll we also got to work with Payton Manning. And when Payton and I had a scene together and somehow this subject of quote nepo babies came up and he's like yeah I'm a Nepo baby. And I thought oh right

no one ever talks about you know legacy like the great NFL family of all time and say like Pton Manning shouldn't have done it. Eli Manning should have done something else.

Yeah. It's so crazy. And here's the other thing. If if people didn't want it whatever then they then they wouldn't have opportunity. That's just the way that it works. We know how it works. It all boils down to commerce anyway, right? In any business, if the guy goes if if he's like, "My dad was uh a doctor and I decided to become a doctor and he was a [ __ ] doctor, he wouldn't have any patients." Like that's just the way it goes. And it's the same it's the same in our business. So I do but it's an easy target as you see because it's so it's so public. So it's just, you know,

Yeah. But if you like you said, if you don't have the goods, if if you're a nappa baby, you don't have the goods, it doesn't who care? Like [snorts]

you know what, Sean, I just realized that's what you and Scotty should have. You should have a Nepo baby. Yeah.

Adopt a Nepo baby. Name the baby Nepo. Amazing. A great a great Yeah. Yeah. I take take him to the pediatrics. He's like, "No, Nepo baby.

Nepo baby Hayes." This is our son Nepo. Nepo ice. We get and get him in a show right away. Get him into a show reality.

Finding Nepo. Sure. And we will be right back. And now back to the show. Laura, what was the first um what was the first job where you were you Well, first of all, I want to do I do want to say talking about the parent stuff, JB, I don't know if you know this. when when you and your mom were the first time ever uh child, mother, daughter, child, parent were nominate, both got Academy Award nominations for Rambling Rose, a film that I adore. It's an you're incredible in that movie, Laura. And I'm going to embarrass you cuz I just love you so much.

I didn't know that. Both of you got nominated the same year. Same movie. Yeah. For the same movie. Yeah. Wow.

Yeah. In the same category? No. Uh separate categories. One was supporting, one was lead.

Wow. That's wild. Isn't that incredible? Yeah. And did you go to Did you go to carpool together with my grandma? Was so sweet. It was amazing.

Generations. Yeah. It was crazy. It was so beautiful. So So crazy. Um what was uh Laura, what was the first thing that you did where um you felt like like the first role that you had that you did and you were like, I I got it. Like not not I got it, but you felt really good. like you feel really connected to it, like the first sort of meaty thing that you're like, "Okay, like this is this is really what I want to do and it feels good." And did you have one of those?

Yeah, maybe this movie Smooth Talk. It was probably my first lead and so I had no

time to not find devotion, you know, like it was we made it for under $2 million. I was in every scene. And it was a really radical film uh with myself and Treat Williams. There's a very deeply troubling and very complicated to shoot halfhour long kind of coaxing of this young girl toward a sexual assault based on a Joyce Carol story and [snorts]

you know radical amounts of dialogue and you know um playing a character and I was 15 when we made it who's sort of discovering her sexuality a bit before I knew so many aspects of self. I didn't know myself in that way so completely and um and I had to yeah I had to be so emotionally vulnerable and [clears throat] still somehow learn how to take care of myself and um yeah that was the first time I think I had to be a grownup

and and after the film was done or after the after that particularly hard day when you did a particularly hard scene did when did when did you feel like wow I just kind of slayed that dragon and I'm on the other side of it.

I just went straight to like cynical like jaded divorce 47year-old smoker. I just was like I've done the you know now I get to just be a dame. No, not really.

But but when did you did you but but did you feel that you were on the other side of it? At the end of the movie or at the end of that day or once it came out and it got received? You know what I think the coolest thing was? I I remember actually calling home and calling my mom after just a day of crying all day and thinking

maybe this isn't the most fun job. Maybe this isn't like I didn't understand all these feelings and where to put them. And I was blessed to have parents I could talk to about that and and

yeah, get some distance from things and learn how to even though it's emotional and you can kind of crack open all these spaces, you don't have to like live in it, it can be healing and a and a job toward healing and not something that kind of rips you apart in some weird way.

But you felt that you'd pulled it off. Yeah. Those the the tears were believable and all that.

Yeah. Yeah. I felt I felt I think I felt a little scared by it because I that it wasn't intentional. I wasn't trying to be a method actor. I was a kid who just had a day of crying all day and my body was like shaking and unhappy like when you've cried all day. And so I think just the getting to the place where at the end of that day I learned kind of what was me and what was

this other play space of discovery. And I think the deepest joy which happened around that time and also on Blue Velvet which were like a year and a half apart those were a couple years in my life where I discovered empathy as this like badass superpower.

Yeah. that being vulnerable and being empathetic and being part of a, you know, a team of people where you're just going to kind of reveal yourself to each other and it's going to somehow be hopefully safe and

and uh generous and move an audience. It was like so radical and hardcore and um baller, you know. I felt I Yeah, I felt like a kid who just weird what we do.

Found a sport. Yeah. So, it is just like it's the craziest thing in the world to sit there and be so full of [ __ ] that you can make yourself cry.

Yeah. And probably make the person watching cry. And like everybody's on board that we're playing make believe. The people that are doing it are are are in make believe. And I'm pretending that that it's real. So much so that it's making me me cry while I'm watching it. Like everyone signs on to this like bizarro moment that we all go in this dark room together and sit next to these strangers, cry next to one another, and then go leave, get in our car, and drive home and have what's for dinner. Like, it's just like the coolest, weirdest thing.

But it's so it's so [clears throat] on a certain level, I can't believe it. You just as hearing you say it that way, JB, you realize it is all just about we all just want to connect and we all just want to like connect with each other and have these shared experiences because something about that it inspires us. It it it makes us uh we can relate to it. We we watch

life's really interesting to people, you know, like let's see these little pieces

and you go well you you go and you you know at its greatest when you go and you see something that kind of moves you in that way having that emotional connection to that or having that shared experience not even just with the people in the theater but the people on when you're watching it I guess and it's just occurring to me for the first time maybe I'm just a slow learner. It it does there's something about it that that like it sort of it stirs something in in us and makes us sort of gives us perspective on our own experience and it sort of answers questions about our own experience and all that kind of stuff. I think it's illuminating to [clears throat] the human spirit if you will. As bullshitty as that sounds, I really actually believe that now today

I cried at force I cried at Force Awakens. Y'all bet you did. I bet you did. Did the projector break or something?

No. Come on. Were you sitting behind somebody with Were Were you sitting behind somebody with a hat or something?

Did you spill your bon bons with snow caps? They ran out of milk. They ran out of milk or

But it is crazy that you know you can't fake truth. Like you could you could fake a lot of things. Yeah. And you guys all know as incredible actors and also as directors that that there's this other thing that happens that we all feel together when we get to the truth of a thing and it can't be faked. And

but but but like at the same time, we're all pretending that it isn't fake. like we know that it's fake and we're all just saying, "Okay, let's all agree to focus so hard that we can convince ourselves in our tear ducts and everything that this is real." Like, I love that everybody just kind of silently signs on to that and no one knows each other,

you know? Yeah. But but in those moments, it is it is real. That that's the kind of the flip of it, JB.

Well, that's the magic of movies. We'll be right back. [ __ ] Sean's mic is working. God damn it. Um, hey, I I was watching JB, weirdly enough, on Instagram, Cross, David Cross, posted a clip from Arrested Development, and I was watching

Oh, no. I saw him do doing stand up. No. And you were you were doing a scene from early on. You were doing a scene with with David and Porsche and there was something about you. I was watching you do this scene and and you were and they're both acting like imbecile

and so you're in the middle between them and there and I was so on the ride with you. You were such a great You took me on this thing and I know it inside and out and yet I was still really taken with it you doing and it's not you J but you were doing this thing and it and it made me laugh

and it made me feel good and I had a connection to it on a deeper level as well but I just it made me love you and I was just like [ __ ] this guy he's so good at doing this people say all those nasty things about

Well yeah if we believe it then the audience will believe it. Laura, do you um you had a

Oh [ __ ] Sorry. We may mention Sean Sean's got a spaghetti meatballs that's on the stove and it's so he's got to get to his questions quick. No

come in. By the way, I just said I just I just said Chinese with what did I have to drink? A glass of milk cuz it was too spicy.

It's 4:30. What do you mean? He's in New York. He's in New York. New York City.

We're in New York. Yeah, by the way, by the way, JB, I had I had a FaceTime with before the three of us had a FaceTime before our session here, Laura. And and then before that, Sean and I talked like an hour ago about something and I go and Sean goes, "I got to go. I got to eat before before we do the show." And he goes, "Um" and I go, "Oh, yeah. Okay, I'll let you go." And he goes, "I'm having Chinese." Okay.

Every day dinner is an event in his life. I love that. Funny. I haven't had Chinese in so long. Laura, do you like Chinese food?

I love it. I love it. Not as much as Nepo. Nepo talks a lot about how much he loves Chinese.

You can't get enough of it. I'd like Chinese tonight. Hey, this is the I promise this is the only Jurassic Park question I'll ask. But when we were on the set of um Is

No. Is this is Is this thing on? When we were on this set, you told me the greatest story. Can you just tell it really fast cuz it's so cool. something about um do you remember what it was? It was about

Oh, was it about Stephen with the megaphone the first day? Yes. Yes. Yeah. that we were I mean this was the first CGI movie so

all we knew was we were going on this journey and there was this new idea called CGI and there was this company called ILM Industrial Light Magic and [sighs and gasps]

you know Dennis Muran was this guy I met on set and they were talking about how they could paint an image on the computer and things might show up that aren't there in real life and they would put an X on a piece of paper and put it in like an orange picker up into a tree and say stare at the X

and I kept thinking this may really not work because it just seemed nuts that it was even possible. And it was the first day. I think it was like second or third day on set and it was the first day we were all there as a group and we're looking into the what was the raptor pen I guess and and Sir Richard Atenboroough is kind of giving us a tour of the park and they're for the first time we hear something that may be a roar in the distance.

That's right. It's like your first hint of something. And we did the first take and we were all like looking in the wrong direction and not responding at the right time. So he said, "Stephen, we we need help. I mean, yeah, nothing's there, but we need to hear it at the same moment." He goes, "Oh my god, of course, of course." And obviously we had to be scared to sell the things that aren't there. So Steven was sitting at camera and they rolled camera action. We're looking. We turn our heads and the moment's about to come and Stephen takes a megaphone and goes, "Raar, raar.

We all lost it." And I know in that moment, this group of actors look at each other like, "This is a disaster."

Yeah. That that must have been like, "Wait, what are we doing?" Like, "What? So you're just going to go raw through the whole movie.

He lost his privileges. It also occurs to me, Laura, you're you've become like sort of like the emblem like the the sort of the icon for they always use that image of of a person. Yes. For me, you're my icon obviously.

Yeah. You're my And but that thing of you of the of the big dinosaur coming up like right up against your face and you're totally freaked out. That is like such an iconic, you know, they always include that. You It's like a huge

When you see that, do you remember the day you were shooting it? Do you remember what you were going through? Do you remember like

Yeah, the reaction. Yeah. Yeah. That was crazy. And I mean, it was amazing because the incredible Stan Winston had built animatronic puppets. So, there was so much practical.

That's a real head there. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And it was Do Yeah, you cuss. I've heard crazy on this show. Yeah. Like scary as [ __ ] Like nothing scary.

Oh [ __ ] We don't We don't use We don't Sorry. Not from the women. Not from the only two. And I just [ __ ] And I And a third time. Um from the women,

but it was so scary. Those dinosaurs were terrifying. Yeah. I mean, isn't it w I'm sorry if you get asked this all the time, but isn't it wild to be part of something that you had no idea what it was going to be? It was cutting edge technology and now it spawned like I don't know how many movies. It was part of like this massive movement in Hollywood that changed how they made movies and you were you were the first person you were part of it. It was that's just so cool. I'd made Wild at Heart I I guess like the year before, two years before, something like that. And um and so I told Nick Cage that I had been offered this opportunity

and I was like, you know, I I haven't read it yet, but but all I know is Stephen explained that I guess there's dinosaurs are going to come back to life and I I there's a book. I'm going to read the book. and he goes, "You don't have to know anything.

Dinosaurs are gonna come back to life. You have to do this movie." And I just remember Nick being the person who Yeah. made me know. I had to say yes instantly for learning more.

Wait. Okay. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Laura, so so Sean opened the door and then you just mentioned Wild at Heart. So, first of all, it should be noted Laura made, you made so many great movies with the incomparable David Lynch, who I know is a close friend of yours as well. Um, and he was [clears throat] just, you know, one of the all-time greats and and the two of you had this great collaboration on all these great movies. First one being uh Blue Velvet. Just talk for a second about how that came to be.

So good. And met him on an audition. Um, and what was 17 [snorts] and he was very good to be honest. Um, but crazily I went in and we talked for I feel like 45 minutes with the casting director and David about everything and I never read for him

and the casting director had seen me in a couple of films and I guess recommended me but he I don't think had seen my acting yet but he just had an instinct and he was uh so a believer in following instinct and um

it seemed to go well. I I mean, I just was, you know, so in love with his movies already, so it was such a huge thing to me. I'd seen Eraser Head, I'd seen Elephant Man, and

Right. So, I was just blown away by him. And then, um, he invited myself and Kyle McLaclin to lunch at Bob's Big Boy. Ah,

and I remember him doodling on a plate in ketchup, making like the most abstract and amazing drawings on his plate while the two of us were just talking and chatting it up and him watching the two of us and and I could see in his eyes him starting to see his movie.

Yeah, it was amazing feeling as an actor. you know, it wasn't about us necessarily or us separately, but as a whole, there was something that he felt was right for the film. So, that was really cool experience.

Yeah, that's great. I mean, that must have been amazingly I got cast. Did you Did you when you started making Blue Velvet instant? Well, it sounds like you did at that moment understand that you were doing something different like that doing with him was different. I didn't know what it was going to be or it was such an insane brilliant and insane script and world. Um, terrifying and beautiful and all the things that you know and hilarious and all the things that Blue Velvet is. Um, but I had just started college. I was on day two when I got offered the movie and was beside myself and was told that I couldn't leave school. they wouldn't let me have a leave of absence. So, I went to the head of the program I was in to

say, "Here's the script. Here's everything. Can I have a tutor and I'll I'll, you know, make a

whatever it takes, you know, behind the scenes. Like, I'll do whatever I can do. Please, please." [gasps and sighs]

And I remember saying to this professor, I just have this feeling this is my college education. Mhm.

And they told me that not only would I never be invited back to this university if I chose the movie um but that I was making, you know, the most radical mistake of my life. And so I remember entering that whole experience thinking which I don't think I ever would have understood if I hadn't watched my parents with these directors and had this feeling with David like this is my not only home but this is my teacher this is my college this will be right I mean in some unconscious way I think I did know this is the greatest opportunity

you were literally at a crossroads you were literally at a crossroads and you chose to go that way and it seems it seems you made the right choice. is we don't have to name that professor by name, but if you'd like to take the opportunity to shame them, that'd be fine.

Right now, please. Well, if you if you if you what what what was what was running second place uh as far as uh a possible career path for you? Was there ever anything else on your radar or since then? Like if somebody said, "You can't do this anymore. Got to do something else to

I'd be pretty fucked." Really? Yeah. I think now I would definitely be at like 12.

I had at 12 I had an idea about being a child psychologist. That was really interesting to me.

Um, as Will knows, I loved being a swimmer. Yeah. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, Laura. A psychologist for children, not a not a 12-year-old psychologist, not a child psychiatrist. Right. [clears throat]

Yes. We'll be right back. And back to the show. Where does the swimming come from?

Yeah, she's a swimmer. I just When did that start? Love it. Since I was little and then became, you know, just in school competitive swimmer and Will knows way about it.

And in the movie, Is This Thing On? You play an Olympic volleyball player. And I remember when we were when we were when we were starting and you're like, "God, I really got to like figure this out. But I got to find how like I got to do the work. And you went and you played volleyball, right, or something or you took lessons or something like that. And in the movie, in the shots and everything, I'm like, "Oh my god, I completely believe that you were a volleyball player for the Olympics." I mean 100%.

Yeah, it's true. Thank you. I don't remember you. I've seen it twice. I don't remember. Was it just the one picture that has you?

Yeah, there's a picture and there's one quick cut where she spikes. Got it. Okay.

Spiking. But I think it's mostly well two things. One, as Will and I both can talk about, you guys all know that Bradley is like such a radical disciplined beyond compare

uh perfectionist in his like drive of whatever it is, the truth, the Philly cheese steak sandwich,

the movie, you know, it's got to be the one. And so, you know, I feel like I I pride myself sometimes on throwing myself into things, but in this case,

I was like, "Oh, yeah. Even if it's not in the movie, I got to get up 2 hours before and train

because, you know, the manner at which you hold yourself and the way you carry your body when it's embedded in you

is um yeah, is different." And and her manner is different. and and Sean Jason Sean maybe you know a little bit but but when we were talking about like when Bradley said I think that Laura is going to do agreed to do this which totally elevated everything that we were talking about doing once she agreed and it was and he always describes it he's like this character needs to be an assassin and Laura is a [ __ ] assassin and so when she started to really inhabit that

really hurt my feelings I know no cuz she's literally killed people. She's killed people. She's a sniper.

We wouldn't get into that. She does. She has She has silencers. She does piano wire. She's an assassin. No, but she that she that she, you know, this idea and then she started to carry herself with that thing like she had this sort of like that sort of competitive athlete edge to her. It was [ __ ] rad. And we did some work beforehand.

Yeah. So, Will, so what was that like would you started to go through just even just the the reading the script sort of rehearsal process? I'm assuming you guys did. Was there a moment where you're sitting across the table from Laura and you start seeing Laura do Laura stuff and like you start seeing that talent and you're like, "Oh, [ __ ] I better really kind of Yeah,

100%. I mean, we we had the luxury." I mean, JB, I will tell you, yes, first of all, a lot. And she's the most gracious and and warmest and kindest person. And really,

uh, you know, that held Yeah. held my hand and we were such partners in it. She was just and we we started and we read a bunch, you know, early on and and went through the script and she had so many great ideas for, you know, leading up to it. And then we went through this great rehearsal process together and did this workshop which was super rad and where we got to know each other and that's why we know way too much about each other's uh lives,

literally everything. And then we ended up, you know, um, yeah, when you're just in this, you know, in the scene, of course, it occurred to me that I'm like, "Oh, wait." And I said this to Laura like early on, I said like, you know, it's for me this is such a leap that I'm I'm again, Laura, you can plug your ears or whatever embarrass, you know, she's Laura Durn, uh, Academy Award-winning, you know, just super talent. and watching her, it's like playing tennis with a with a great and and it just it does nothing [clears throat] but just, you know, it raises all boats, you know, high tide and and

but I was nervous and I expressed it. I told her that and I said, "I, you know, I'm I feel nervous." And she was really, really gentle with me. You know, it was

Well, let me just say this is a great privilege on Smart List because being a radical fan of all three of you,

not to mention your incredible friendship and the way you can destroy or mock each other with so much love is an art no one else and no other friendship knows. Um, but let me get to Smartless Will's bravery because Sean was there with us.

Yeah. And I know Jason, you've seen it like incredible performance. Incredible.

Yeah. Who he is, what he's willing to reveal, his vulnerability, his willingness to Yes. take my hand and for us to explore everything with each other for these characters in this, you know, 25 year relationship. But oh my god, the truth, the the heartbreak that he exposes within himself and to me is like unparalleled. So, it's me who has to say how blessed I was really like no [ __ ] to be staring in his eyes and be forced to be honest and see myself in ways sometimes was not comfortable and also beautiful and revvelatory.

What a [ __ ] actor. Well, even just the bravery, how it just started even early by Will just like

just writing it, you know, with with Chappie like saying, "I'm going to try to write a script and it's not going to be like uh you know, u silly [ __ ] This is going to be like real stuff from the heart, like a drama, a raw drama, and then like expect it to be taken seriously and read by people that are like Academy Awardwinning and nominated people. And then and then and then they say, "Okay, we're doing it."

Yeah. And it's like, you're like, "Oh, just kidding. Just kidding." Yeah. And now and now I got to like be a great actor in this thing. And and then pulling that off, too. Like it's it's pretty [ __ ] cool. So beautiful.

Thank Thank you guys. Thank you. It was it it was scary. There were there were a couple there were a couple great uh moments and and Laura I tell you this is we were we were um making the movie and um we were trying to get the scene and we had a crazy trying to get this trying to get the scene. We had a crazy day where we rehearsed all morning with the crew standing by

the scene towards the end of the movie. Yeah. And then we shot all afternoon and and and it was tough and

and we just, you know, it's one of those days where you're just swimming. You're like, did we get it? Are we getting it? Are we close? Are or are we super far away? And are we just swimming even further away from what we want and all this kind of stuff. And over the week, and it was a Friday and so we wrapped late on the Friday night. And over the weekend, Laura and Bradley and I ended up having a bunch of conversations over the weekend. and Laura and I had this it was I don't know how you felt but for me that was such a turning point um and we had this really awesome honest conversation about about just all of it and being honest with each other about how we felt and blah and it was like this crazy turning point for us in the movie.

Yeah. And from that point on we were such partners. Yes. And I I I take I I love I love that people respond to our relationship in the movie, but I I will say that like you were that it was born out of real experience.

Yes. A million%. Yeah. You can tell the chemistry is real. Yeah. I love And it's interesting that we didn't get there because the first sort of half of the shoot we were in this antagonistic dynamic. Yeah.

And so it was like when we had to truly face each other and be boundless about who we were then,

you know, and you really held my heart in it and you know I said stuff you don't you know that's what's incredible right in these intimate relationships as you were talking about Jason like there we are in this familial

story that we're trying to tell all together but that we were truly the most honest I've I've ever been.

Me too. Ever. And I remember we showed up. We shot this scene that's not in the movie where we go to the hospital. It was the first thing on Monday and we all and we so we had this great conversation, couple conversations and we showed up and it was like from that moment on it was just unreal. Like that that scene was it it just didn't work in the movie. The scene is [ __ ] great

and it was [clears throat] like oh it just changed everything. It was really wild

and for me anyway. It was the first time I've experienced Can we enjoy that scene on DVD extras?

Yeah. I'm going to load it up on the internet pretty soon. Okay, great. Don't you miss DVD extras?

I figure I do miss DVD extras. And Sean and Scotty. I mean, what miraculous best friends.

Will actually has them in his life. I just pretended and you were the best friends I'd ever had. We ended up on a group text. I felt so excited about that. The first day we showed up, Willie was so sweet. You said, "I feel like my family just showed up on set." It was very kind. That was so fun.

Sean had to do Sean does this scene. By the way, I don't know if you've told this. Sean does this scene. Uh Lauren knows I mean when the the So, we're in the Oyster Bay house and he's got to he and Scotty have to go and it's a stretch. They had to go in and raid the fridge at night for all the like terrible soup and ice cream. Right.

All right. And you're on the couch trying to And so they're supposed to be And Bradley's like And I'm He goes like, "Yeah, I think they're kind of high and whatever." Yeah,

Sean eats a gummy and so all day he's trying to time when he's going to eat the gummy for that scene.

Wow, nice Shaunie. Yeah, thank you. He kept going like he kept going to me like, "Do you think it's too early if I eat it right now?"

Cuz I want to eat it right when we shoot it, right? Um Laura, I want to know like who other than the three of us cuz I know that's what you would joke around and say, but truly cuz you've been around cuz you've been around it since you were a kid. who were you starruck the most by growing up or recently or anything or do you even get it? And I always ask Jason that too because you guys obviously grew up in the business and I didn't and so I'm always like w I'm still like wow wow wow and I know you guys are too but like who is is there a person recently or even when you were younger that you were like okay I can't believe I'm working with this person or I'm meeting this person. I don't know about you, Jason, I feel like sometimes I feel like I'm the most starruck and maybe because the the the equity for mastering something or loving something was all about movies in my family. So,

if I meet heroes, I lose my mind. But it's it's movie actors and directors and musicians big time, too.

Oh, musicians. Yeah. Meeting music heroes is a big deal. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. Yeah. Yeah. Ex. Yeah. What is that about musicians and athletes and actors? They all kind of want to be one another.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because it's a world you don't you're not in. So it's like wow. Yeah. I get that.

It's a cra. But I think for me um like meeting heroes of another time was always such a huge

gift. Um so like Alexander the Great. Alexander the Great was huge. Oh, well I told you that story. Like I said, he knows all my stories.

No, because I remember I remember when Rashidita Jones was on, I was like, she just grew up with like Michael Jackson coming over for dinner. I'm like, that's crazy. I'm like,

I know. But I've become friends. Can I say that? which is insane and so privileged with Carol Bernett because I produced this show Palm Royale and

like working with her, knowing her and even though she knew my mom and you know there are these crossover things but when you have your own relationship with these legends that raised you on their talent, raised you on their shows,

that's crazy. Yeah, actually I did just find and Jason will relate to this because it was of an era that we grew up around

my mom's Battle of the Network Stars Award. No way. CBS won when she was on the team. Yes.

And it it was such a I became such a fan. I was like, "Oh my god, Battle of the Network Stars. This is like the greatest award. I can't believe I have her Battle of the Network Stars award." Um because you realize it's the the way things entered your living room. Like Lucy, there will never be a greater

hero, right? Um Andy Griffith show like the things that Why don't they bring that goddamn show back?

We talked about it for a minute, didn't we? And we tal we actually we were at a dinner with Ted Sarandos telling him they should make Battle of the Network stars,

right? Battle of the Platform stars, right? Stars. Yeah, streaming stars. Exactly. Netflix people against Amazon people against Apple people against

HBO people. Yeah. I mean, how great would that be? But then what would you put it on? What platform would we get to?

We know who's winning. Tuby. Tuby. I'll put it on Tuby. Jason, do you I'm not sure. Do I have TB?

That's such an old reference. Not Tuby. That's an old smartless reference. Choose a weird thing to say old, right?

Yeah. Lord, Laura, Laura, Laura, I could just I could just talk all day, right?

Save it for the sequel, you guys. Yeah. Oh, we've we've already discovered this thing still on.

We've discussed Is this thing still on? And then and then you came up with the title for the third or fourth film,

which what was it? Like, somebody turn this thing the [ __ ] off or something. Oh, yeah. So, somebody please turn this thing off.

Please turn this thing off. That's hilarious. The final adventure. Say the date when the movie comes out again so we know.

December 19th. December 19th. December 19th. December 19th is this thing on starring the great Laura Dur.

Will Arnette. Mhm. Yeah. The Great Lord. Sean Hayes. Sean Hayes and Scott Ice Snuggle. Andrew Day. Bradley Cooper in a Bradley Cooper film. This Christmas. Take your heart on. Can I do the all my own trailer?

Please do. Please take your heart. Take your heart on a funny bone ride. A funny bone. What?

Every once in a while, a film comes along that'll touch your heart and then I feel good, dude.

That's literally every trailer. I know. We were like in the 80s. Every trailer did that.

Laura, we love you. Thank you. Laura, we love you. We love you. We love you. You guys, I'm so honored to be on this brilliant, incredible ride that is called Smartless and your guys friendship. I'm

so glad you're here. It's overdue, but you know, I guess we had to time it to your release and everything.

I know it is long overdue. We had to wait. We had to wait. We've been talking about this since March. But Laura,

uh, I will see you really soon. I love you. I love all of you and I'm going to see literally I'm seeing you instantly. I think we're like taking it on the road as soon as you as soon as we're going to I'll see you in London.

I'll see you in London. Lovely. And I'll see you guys very soon. I hope. Yeah. Some sort of a holiday party or something.

I'm sad we aren't making Ozark anymore, but I know we'll do other things in our near future. Please go.

You know what I got last night when we were waiting? We're at the valet real Hollywood moment.

Yeah. And uh Ed Sheeran uh came over to Jason Baitman. Jason was completing cuz the guy who lost his ticket for his ride. It was great.

I almost threw my wig at him. Don't make me snap this off. And I was and I was making it worse cuz he's legit frustrated. I'm like, look at baby and he's guming up the line and stuff and he was not happy. And then Ed Sheeran came over and said, "Oh man, I love Ozark." And they gave him a hug and they and they hugged.

Oh, that Did you know that was Ed Sheeran? You don't know anything. I did. I figured it out. No, of course. Um well

and then you handed him your wig as a thank you. And I said, "Here, let me give you the let me sign this for you." It was right there on the netting.

A Sharpie will work on the netting. That's the label. Uhhuh. He's a label maker as well for his wigs.

I love you guys. Love you, Laura. We love you guys so much. We'll see you soon so soon.

We'll see you very soon, Laura. We love you. Love you. Thanks guys for having me.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye guys. That Laura Durn. Um, how lucky did you did you and Bradley get by getting her? I mean, it's just like so dependent on somebody that kind of comes out of the screen as like someone you just you you want to make an emotional investment in, right? You just you you can't help but love her. Also the pedigree,

the pedigree and she's just and the talent and the history of the she's got no choice when it in the talent. She's one of those people. It's just it's just in her in

I mean before I before I knew her for years and years and years and years and years we would go how you doing because of her.

How you doing? Oh, you'd say that to your friends. Remember those times? Yeah. Remember that? How you doing?

Yeah. No, no, we weren't in Glenn Ellen, Illinois, man. So yeah, I have a nose here.

Humor smelling your Are you smelling your fingers? What? [ __ ] nose hair. Hey, why don't you just By the way, I Every time I see you, you've got like these [ __ ] ants coming out.

What is going on? The [ __ ] Get nose has gotten to you. Are you drunk on MSG from the Chinese food? What's happening?

Hanging out. I know, but you guys get You have them, too. Sure, but I attacked them.

We're going to be out of here in a minute. You could Scotty comes in to reapply your lip balm. Have him uh whack a few hairs out of your nose.

Okay. Okay. I put it on the list. Okay. Is it is it coming out of your ears too? [gasps]

No, I never get it out of my ears. Really? Yeah. Um, she did though mention Laura didn't mention the word later hosen. I was want to say what you know what you know the same thing of later hosen.

Okay. Right. Like kind of [snorts] it's kind of the same thing as saying you know

later hosen. Well I mean like bye me. Hey bye Jose. That's what I'm saying. Byeer. That's what we say. Bye.

Bye. Yep. Smart. Smart glass. Smartless is 100% organic and artisally handcrafted by Michael Grant Terry, Rob Armjarf, and Bennett Barbco.

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Questions about this episode

Who speaks in "Laura Dern | SmartLess"?

Jason Bateman (Host), Sean Hayes (Host), Will Arnett (Host), Laura Dern (Guest), Scotty (unidentified, referred to as 'Scotty' / 'Scott Iceogle' / 'Scott Ice Snuggle') (Guest).

What is "Laura Dern | SmartLess" about?

The content features a playful and candid conversation among hosts about personal experiences with parenting, friendships, and the dynamics of their relationships. They share humorous anecdotes while reflecting on the joys and challenges of family life, including parenting memories and discussions about the possibility of adopting children.

What is mentioned in this SmartLess episode?

36 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Scotty Scott Icenogle, Blue Velvet, Is This Thing On?, Ozark, Tubi, Nepo baby. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "Laura Dern | SmartLess"?

The episode runs 1 h; the transcript is about 11,563 words in 285 timestamped sections.

More from SmartLess

About this transcript: the episode's spoken words as captioned on YouTube, split into timestamped sections. Reclip.Me locates every person, work and idea in the text, keeps the time it is first named, and quotes the words around it verbatim. Last updated December 19, 2025.