Transcript

Galaxy Quest--First Half 07/29/25

From Table Read Tuesdays · Episode page · Watch on YouTube

· 2 h 15 min · 18,783 words · 487 timestamped sections

This is the full, timestamped transcript of "Galaxy Quest--First Half 07/29/25", an episode of Table Read Tuesdays published July 30, 2025 (2 h 15 min, about 18,783 words). It mentions 222 people, works and ideas, including Rage of the Republic, Galaxy Quest, Jason Nesmith, NCC Protector / NA Protector, Omega 13.

What this episode is about

This live Table Read Tuesday features a passionate cast performing a cold reading of the beloved film "Galaxy Quest," introducing themselves and their roles while emphasizing their enthusiasm for the script. The session includes multiple actors filling various characters, showcasing their excitement for the project and engaging with the YouTube audience.

Key takeaways

  • Live script reading: Embrace chaos; cast members wear multiple hats—or try not to drop them!
  • Galaxy Quest: A cult classic uniting actors across borders; film's warmth transcends time and location.
  • Color-coded drafts: A dynamic kaleidoscope of ideas—see what gem got snipped before the credits rolled.
  • Cold reads: Spontaneity breeds creativity; those who flub together, laugh together—heroic co-stars, all!
  • Stalking skills required: Hunting for actors online channels 21st-century sleuthing, lest you look shady!

Who speaks in this episode?

What is discussed, and when

  1. – 15:00: Rage of the Republic, Galaxy Quest, Galaxy Quest (the film) / Mock convention, Stephanie Eileene Lazarus
  2. – 30:00: John Hanks Alexander, Galaxy Quest, Rage of the Republic, Gwen DeMarco
  3. – 45:00: Matthazar, NCC Protector / NA Protector, Catala Nebula, Command deck
  4. – 1:00:00: John Hanks Alexander, computer store, Electronics store, Interstellar Vox
  5. – 1:15:00: Stephanie Eileene Lazarus, Galaxy Quest, Rage of the Republic, Galaxy Quest (the film) / Mock convention
  6. – 1:30:00: Command deck, John Hanks Alexander, Matthasar, Omega 13
  7. – 1:45:00: Saris, Burillium sphere, burillium sphere, Command deck
  8. – 2:00:00: John Hanks Alexander, Burillium sphere, Gourney Weaver, Alan Rickman
  9. – 2:15:00: Respect, Star Trek, Star Trek, Star Trek

Notable quotes from "Galaxy Quest--First Half 07/29/25"

  • Galaxy Quest by David Howard, Robert Gordon.
    about Rage of the Republic · at
  • Backstage., Here, we, meet, the, real, life actors all dressed as their TV alter egos. Gwen de Marco, beautiful in a sexy and improbable bodysuit. Alexander Dayne, Dr. Lazarus…
    about Gwen DeMarco · at
  • Jason appears and a spotlight follows him. Unbelievable. He rented a spot.
    about Jason Nesmith · at
  • You're, right., What, a, freak, show.
    about Vicky Dykes · at
  • Welcome, my, friends., I, am, Matazar., On behalf of my people, I wish to thank you from the deepest place in our hearts.
    about Matthazar · at
  • For years, Sarus has plundered the resources of our planet, our people, our technologies. We built this ship in order to find a new planet to settle one far away from Saris. We…
    about Omega 13 · at
  • Deliver the device now or I will destroy your ship.
    about Saris · at
  • We found some burillium on a nearby planet. We might be able to get there if we reconfigure the solar matrix in parallel for endothermic propulsion.
    about Fred Quan · at

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

  • Vicky Dykes — Person · Table read cast member (performer) · 3 mentions · first at
    Introduces herself, lists roles she will read (including Saris and Dr. Lazarus/Alexander), and later reads dialogue in the bathroom scene.
  • Vicky Dykes — Person · Table read participant / performer · 2 mentions · first at
    Introduces herself, lists roles (including Lazarus/Alexander and Saris), and provides social handles; performs lines during the read.
    Hi,, I'm, Vicky, Dykes., I'm, in, Penhold, Alberta up in Canada. today I'll be reading some actions and descriptions in various spots. Lazarus/Aexander.
  • Stephanie Eileene Lazarus — Person · Fictional character in Galaxy Quest (role being read) · 11 mentions · first at
    Key character in the script; referenced in the opening teaser and later scenes; Vicky Dykes reads Lazarus/Alexander.
    The, commander, turns, to, his, adviser, Lazarus.
  • Jason Nesmith — Person · Fictional character being performed · 5 mentions · first at
    The commander character in Galaxy Quest; performed by Jacob Patrick in this table read and drives many key scenes.
    Hello,, my, name, is, Jacob, Patrick., I'll, be playing Jason and a few other things in this amazing movie that I love so much. If you have not watched it I'm glad you're here, but go watch it.
  • Heather Lee Cameron — Person · Participant · 2 mentions · first at
    Heather is one of the actors participating in the table read of Galaxy Quest.
    You can find me on social media under Heather Lee Freelancer on Facebook, The Stormman Latterday Saints on YouTube and Heather.
  • Vicky Dykes — Person · Participant · 2 mentions · first at
    Vicky is one of the actors participating in the table read of Galaxy Quest.
    Hi,, I'm, Vicky, Dykes., I'm, in, Penhold, Alberta up in Canada. today I'll be reading some actions and descriptions in various spots. Lazarus/Aexander.
  • Vicky Dykes — Person · Cast reader / performer (multiple roles incl. Lazarus/Alexander, Saris/Saras) · 2 mentions · first at
    Introduces herself, lists roles, and reads lines (including cynical characters); participates in wrap-up discussion.
    Hi,, I'm, Vicky, Dykes., I'm, in, Penhold, Alberta up in Canada. today I'll be reading some actions and descriptions in various spots. Lazarus/Aexander.
  • Vicky Dykes — Person · Cast reader / participant (Table Read Tuesday) · 2 mentions · first at
    Introduces herself, lists roles (including Lazarus/Alexander and Saris), and provides her social handles; participates throughout the read.
    I'm thrilled. I always enjoy playing Alan Rickman characters.
  • Vicky Dykes — Person · Table read cast member (reader/performer) · 2 mentions · first at
    Introduces herself, lists roles she will read (including Lazarus/Alexander and Saris), and mentions enjoying playing Alan Rickman characters.
    I'm thrilled. I always enjoy playing Alan Rickman characters.
  • Vicky Dykes — Person · Table read performer (cast member); plays multiple roles including Lazarus/Alexander and Saris/Saris-related parts · 2 mentions · first at
    Introduces herself, lists roles and social handles; performs lines including the ‘cynical’ bathroom scene and other parts.
    Hi,, I'm, Vicky, Dykes., I'm, in, Penhold, Alberta up in Canada. today I'll be reading some actions and descriptions in various spots. Lazarus/Aexander.
  • Vicky Dykes — Person · Cast reader / participant · 2 mentions · first at
    Introduces herself, lists roles (including Lazarus/Alexander and Saris/Sarus), and mentions enjoying playing Alan Rickman characters.
    Hi,, I'm, Vicky, Dykes., I'm, in, Penhold, Alberta up in Canada. today I'll be reading some actions and descriptions in various spots. Lazarus/Aexander.
  • Vicky Dykes — Person · Table read cast member (reader/performer) · 2 mentions · first at
    Introduces herself, lists roles (including Dr. Lazarus/Alexander and Sarus/Saris), and reads lines during the table read.
    I'm thrilled. I always enjoy playing Alan Rickman characters.
  • Vicky Dykes — Person · Cast reader / participant (Table Read Tuesday) · 2 mentions · first at
    Introduces herself, lists social handles, and reads multiple roles including Dr. Lazarus/Alexander; references enjoying Alan Rickman characters.
    I'm thrilled. I always enjoy playing Alan Rickman characters.
  • Jacob Patrick — Person · Participant · 1 mention · first at
    Jacob is one of the actors participating in the table read of Galaxy Quest.
    Hello,, my, name, is, Jacob, Patrick., I'll, be playing Jason and a few other things in this amazing movie that I love so much. If you have not watched it I'm glad you're here, but go watch it.
  • Haley Elizabeth Byermeister — Person · Participant · 1 mention · first at
    Haley is one of the actors participating in the table read of Galaxy Quest.
    Just one of the best movies. It's like got an airplane vibe to me. I just like it. The comedy is my favorite. I am so stoked to be playing my favorite act one of my favorite…
  • Cat Wilson — Person · Participant · 1 mention · first at
    Cat is one of the actors participating in the table read of Galaxy Quest.
    Right, and, I, am, Cat, Wilson, and, she, her pronouns in geek coverver Washington tonight I'll be reading seeing quite a few roles and I'll probably forget a few of them on…
  • David Howard — Person · Screenwriter (credited) · 1 mention · first at
    One of the credited writers of the Galaxy Quest screenplay referenced at the top of the script used in the table read.
    Galaxy Quest by David Howard, Robert Gordon.
  • Robert Gordon — Person · Screenwriter (credited) · 1 mention · first at
    Co-writer credited for the Galaxy Quest screenplay used in the table read; included in the episode's opening script attribution.
    Galaxy Quest by David Howard, Robert Gordon.
  • Tommy Laredo — Person · Fictional/within-script actor-character reference (Galaxy Quest cast member in story) · 9 mentions · first at
    Referenced as the youngest cast member and introduced on stage; central to the ship piloting gag and later injury in the script.
    Prosthetic makeup. Fred Quan calmly sitting on an apple box reading the paper. And Tommy Laredo Weber, the youngest of the group. Where the hell is he? An hour and a half late? an hour and a half.
  • Alexander Dane — Person · Fictional character being performed · 2 mentions · first at
    Central Galaxy Quest character (Dr. Lazarus actor in-story) referenced and read during the table read; tied to Alan Rickman in discussion.
    Dear, God,, how, did, I, come, to, this?
  • Brandon Waguer — Person · Fictional fan leader (in-story convention attendee) · 2 mentions · first at
    Leads the ‘earnest fans’ group; drives several convention interactions and later becomes plot-relevant (vox label, garage set).
    Their leader, Brandon Waguer, inspects the seller's model of the defender contemptuously.
  • Fred Quan — Person · Fictional character being performed · 3 mentions · first at
    Galaxy Quest crew member referenced and read during the table read; appears in convention and ship scenes.
    Give me a stick of gun and a hair pin and we're on our way.
  • Tommy Weber — Person · Fictional character being performed · 3 mentions · first at
    Galaxy Quest crew member (Laredo) referenced and read; key in the ship-undocking sequence in the script.
    Tommy, comes, bounding, in, with, a, big smile. His hair must behind him is a film clip of young Laredo in action. If it's got quantum rackets, I can fly it.
  • Tony Madison — Person · Fictional actor-character (plays Gwen within the story) · 2 mentions · first at
    Named during the convention stage introduction as the actor who plays Gwen; also referenced in the in-universe “Tony Madison Institute” joke.
    The, beautiful, shipmate, Tonnie, Madison, who plays Gwen Demarco.
  • Gourney Weaver — Person · Referenced actor (original film cast; misspelled mention) · 2 mentions · first at
    Discussed positively regarding her look/styling in Galaxy Quest and noted as appearing/being highlighted in reunion-related commentary; name appears as a misspelling of Sigourney Weaver.
    Attracted to you. You're probably married. It's fine. I didn't say anything. Okay. I will say though, I love that they make Sir Gourney Weaver's hair blonde because she's not.…
  • Commander Peter Quincy Taggart — Person · Fictional character (Jason Nesmith’s in-show commander persona) · 1 mention · first at
    Referenced in the convention stage intro as part of the commander’s full in-universe name; anchors the meta ‘actor vs character’ theme.
    And, now,, the, commander's, advisor, and closest friend, his peaceful nature ever at odds with the savage warrior inside him. After witnessing the massacre of his entire species as a boy, we see a.
  • Alan Rickman — Person · Referenced actor · 3 mentions · first at
    The actor who played Alexander Dane/Dr. Lazarus in the actual Galaxy Quest movie.
    And, then,, of, course,, Alan, Mcman, didn't because I think they filmed it before he passed or after he passed. Yeah, but the Gourney really cool. It says like a little facts that are probably.
  • Sam Rockwell — Person · Referenced actor · 1 mention · first at
    The actor who played Guy Fleeman in the actual Galaxy Quest movie.
    Just one of the best movies. It's like got an airplane vibe to me. I just like it. The comedy is my favorite. I am so stoked to be playing my favorite act one of my favorite…
  • Sigourney Weaver — Person · Referenced actor · 1 mention · first at
    The actor who played Gwen DeMarco in the actual Galaxy Quest movie.
    Attracted to you. You're probably married. It's fine. I didn't say anything. Okay. I will say though, I love that they make Sir Gourney Weaver's hair blonde because she's not.…
  • William Shatner — Person · Referenced actor · 2 mentions · first at
    Mentioned as one of the original Star Trek actors that attendees would want to meet.
    You, know,, Captain, Kirk, and, his, women, and the ymen and Yeah.
  • Stella Adler — Person · Referenced expert · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as a famous acting teacher contrasted with the technical demands of the movie.
    Stella Adler never meant a resonance cannon. She taught acting.
  • Toni Collette — Person · Referenced actor · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as an example of an actor taking on an unexpected horror role.
    Yeah., Yes., Tony, Kleti, doing, like Hereditary. She was I'll never do a horror film. Oh, okay. I'll do this one. One of the scariest movies ever.
  • George Takei — Person · Referenced actor · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as one of the original Star Trek actors that attendees would want to meet.
    I'll, confess, it, later, though., Anybody wants to know the list up there William, Shatner, is, on, William, Shatner, is on the list. I will confirm and so is George and, Walter, Kig.
  • Walter Koenig — Person · Referenced actor · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as one of the original Star Trek actors that attendees would want to meet.
  • Ricky Gervais — Person · Referenced creator · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as the creator of The Invention of Lying, which explores similar themes.
    I, wouldn't, say, as, well,, but, this, is, made in 1999. 10 years later, the Ricky Jerice movie, The Invention of Lying.
  • Tim Allen — Person · Referenced actor · 1 mention · first at
    Referenced in relation to his role in Galaxy Quest.
    There's also a really cool thing that they came out with a couple of years ago, which was like a reunion special. I don't think Tim Allen was on it, but And of course, I think it was passed.
  • Sarus — Person · 28 mentions
  • John Hanks Alexander — Person · 27 mentions · first at
    Actors all dressed as their TV alter egos. Gwen de Marco, beautiful in a sexy and improbable bodysuit. Alexander Dayne, Dr. Lazarus, wearing green alien prosthetic makeup. Fred…
  • Fred — Person · 18 mentions
  • Laari (Thermian Lari/Liari/Liariyi) — Person · 10 mentions

Books & papers

  • Rage of the Republic — Book · Primary recommendation · 14 mentions · first at
    The main focus of the podcast episode, a script reading and discussion of the movie 'Galaxy Quest'.
  • Star Trek — Book · Referenced work · 5 mentions · first at
    Mentioned as a comparison to Galaxy Quest, highlighting the spoof nature of the movie.
    Yeah., It's, obviously, model, modeled, on it, especially with the commander sleeping with all the alien women and the, and, becoming, a, drunk, later, like.
  • Galaxy Quest: The CD ROM Experience — Book · Referenced work · 2 mentions · first at
    Mentioned as part of the fictional merchandise within the Galaxy Quest universe.
    Books and entertainment software bearing such titles as the official Galaxy Quest Blueprints, NEA Protector, and Virtual Galaxy Quest: The CD ROM Experience. The actors…
  • The Invention of Lying — Book · Referenced work · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned in passing as another example of a movie that explores the concept of lying.
    I, wouldn't, say, as, well,, but, this, is, made in 1999. 10 years later, the Ricky Jerice movie, The Invention of Lying.
  • Star Trek (The Original Series) — Book · 2 mentions
  • The Princess Bride — Book · 2 mentions
  • Richard II — Book · 1 mention · first at
  • The Official Galaxy Quest Blueprints — Book · 1 mention · first at
    Actors look through the various fan books and entertainment software bearing such titles as the official Galaxy Quest Blueprints, NEA Protector, and Virtual Galaxy Quest: The…
  • Declaration of Independence — Book · 1 mention · first at
    Yeah., Yes., Tony, Kleti, doing, like Hereditary. She was I'll never do a horror film. Oh, okay. I'll do this one. One of the scariest movies ever.
  • NSEA Protector (book/blueprint title) — Book · 1 mention

Companies & orgs

  • YouTube — Company · Social media platform · 5 mentions · first at
    Mentioned as a platform where participants can be found.
    Awesome., Let's, see., So,, welcome, YouTube audience to Table Read Tuesday's rendition of Galaxy Quest. we have a very intrepid crew this evening. Five solid folks to read eight major parts.
  • Facebook — Company · Social media platform · 3 mentions · first at
    Mentioned as a platform where participants can be found.
    You can find me on social media under Heather Lee Freelancer on Facebook, The Stormman Latterday Saints on YouTube and Heather.
  • Instagram — Company · Social media platform · 3 mentions · first at
    Mentioned as a platform where participants can be found.
    Technician one lanc Leri I think it is and Saras and you can find me on Instagram. I'm yoga grammar 10 and I'm on Facebook. I'm Vicky Dykes and I've recently joined threads.
  • Pluto — Company · Streaming service · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as a platform where Galaxy Quest can be watched.
    It is on Pluto. Yeah. Which is free no matter what. You don't even have to sign up. It just Marshalls in between, but they're not that long.
  • Google LLC — Company · Referenced · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned in passing during the discussion.
    This is a Google document of the script too. So, someone went through took the time to rewrite the thing. or read so it's a nice print. Anyways all right. Is that a large enough size.
  • studio — Company · 3 mentions · first at
    Leader numbers appear. Leader numbers appear with a studio copyright notice. Cut to hundreds of faces.
  • TV Guide — Company · 1 mention · first at
    At, least, you, had, a, part., You, had, a character people loved. My TV guide interview was six paragraphs about this bodysuit.
  • Lincoln — Company · 1 mention · first at
    Interior, Lincoln., Jason, sits, in, the, back with Matthasar and the others half awake. Sir, I am Nu, senior requisition officer. Before we travel to the ship please let me know if you have any.
  • Techco Electronic Superstore — Company · 1 mention · first at
  • Tony Madison Institute for Computer Research — Company · 1 mention · first at
    Females of the ship have requested your imprint for archival purposes at the proposed Tony Madison Institute for Computer Research. Gwen looks at Liaryi her eyes softening as she imprints her hand in a glowing pad.
  • Cisco — Company · 1 mention
  • Google Docs — Company · 1 mention
  • IMDb — Company · 1 mention
  • the Storm and Latter Day Saints — Company · 1 mention

Products & tech

  • Galaxy Quest: The CD ROM Experience — Product · Incidental mention · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as part of the fictional universe's merchandise, adding depth to the setting.
    Books and entertainment software bearing such titles as the official Galaxy Quest Blueprints, NEA Protector, and Virtual Galaxy Quest: The CD ROM Experience. The actors…
  • The Official Galaxy Quest Blueprints — Product · In-universe product · 1 mention · first at
    A fictional Galaxy Quest product mentioned in the script.
    Actors look through the various fan books and entertainment software bearing such titles as the official Galaxy Quest Blueprints, NEA Protector, and Virtual Galaxy Quest: The…
  • The CD ROM Experience — Product · In-universe product · 1 mention · first at
    A fictional Galaxy Quest product mentioned in the script.
    Actors look through the various fan books and entertainment software bearing such titles as the official Galaxy Quest Blueprints, NEA Protector, and Virtual Galaxy Quest: The…
  • Virtual Galaxy Quest — Product · In-universe product · 1 mention · first at
    A fictional Galaxy Quest product mentioned in the script.
    Actors look through the various fan books and entertainment software bearing such titles as the official Galaxy Quest Blueprints, NEA Protector, and Virtual Galaxy Quest: The…
  • Burillium sphere (burillium spear) — Product · 10 mentions
  • burillium sphere — Product · 4 mentions · first at
    Negative., The, burillium, sphere, will, have to be replaced.
  • Turbo boosters / thrusters — Product · 4 mentions
  • Vox — Product · 4 mentions
  • Interstellar Vox — Product · 2 mentions · first at
    Mathazar produces a walkietalkie device for Jason and, interstellar, Vox.
  • Mapper — Product · 2 mentions · first at
    Dr., Lazarus., Yes,, this, mapper., I, have programmed it to the coordinates of the of a burillium sphere of a sufficient density.
  • appearance generator — Product · 2 mentions
  • limousine — Product · 1 mention · first at
  • translator — Product · 1 mention · first at
  • particle cannons — Product · 1 mention · first at
    Okie dokie. Let's fire blue particle cannons full. Fire red particle cannons full. Fire ganet magnets left and right.
  • ganet magnets — Product · 1 mention · first at
    Okie dokie. Let's fire blue particle cannons full. Fire red particle cannons full. Fire ganet magnets left and right.
  • pulse catapults — Product · 1 mention · first at
    Fire pulse catapults from all the shoots and throw this thing at him too. killer.
  • interstellar pod — Product · 1 mention · first at
    Great. The others shake his hand thanking him as they enter the interstellar pod room, a room with a very high circular ceiling. The aliens continue thanking Jason as they lead…
  • Christmas lights — Product · 1 mention · first at
    Surrounded by homemade spaceship interior constructed of painted cardboard boxes and Christmas lights.
  • Galaxy Quest collectibles — Product · 1 mention · first at
    Fans led by Brandon. Brandon and Jason go down along with an armful of Galaxy Quest collectibles.
  • Pod disc — Product · 1 mention · first at
    Finally turning to Laari, a smile, eyes glistening. Nearby, a pod disc on the floor glows.
  • Virtual Galaxy Quest: The CD ROM Experience — Product · 1 mention · first at
    Books and entertainment software bearing such titles as the official Galaxy Quest Blueprints, NEA Protector, and Virtual Galaxy Quest: The CD ROM Experience. The actors…
  • Veilance shield — Product · 1 mention · first at
    Here, is, your, Veilance, shield,, your Vox, your Magneto pistol. We know you prefer a sensitive trigger if anything else you require. no, I'm good thanks. Oh, wait.
  • magneto pistol — Product · 1 mention · first at
    Here, is, your, Veilance, shield,, your Vox, your Magneto pistol. We know you prefer a sensitive trigger if anything else you require. no, I'm good thanks. Oh, wait.
  • Capmok blue blood ticks — Product · 1 mention · first at
    Are you enjoying your capmok blue blood ticks?
  • Metal eye patch — Product · 1 mention · first at
    But, he, is, interrupted, by, the, sight, of Saurus appearing on the large view screen. Saris now wears a metal eye patch and has a long scar across his cheek.
  • Neutron armor — Product · 1 mention · first at
    He failed to activate ship's neutron armor as quickly as I'd hoped on our last encounter. He brings into view a stake with the impaled head of his former lieutenant.
  • High-tech metallic cast — Product · 1 mention · first at
    Sits around the room, licking their wounds. Alexander nurses a blue beverage. Tommy examines a high-tech metallic cast on his arm.
  • bagpipe — Product · 1 mention
  • walkie-talkie — Product · 1 mention

Concepts & topics

  • Historical documents — Concept · Key plot device · 4 mentions · first at
    How the Thermian aliens refer to the Galaxy Quest TV show broadcasts they received and modeled their society after.
    I do not believe there is a man, woman or child on my planet who does not. In the years since we first received your ship's historical documents, we have studied every facet of your missions technologies, and strategies.
  • Star Trek — Concept · Referenced work · 5 mentions · first at
    Referenced as a cultural touchstone and inspiration for Galaxy Quest, highlighting the parody's roots.
    Maybe, we, should, just, start, a, Star, Trek club.
  • Burillium sphere — Concept · Plot device · 4 mentions · first at
    A key component in the Galaxy Quest movie's spaceship that needs to be replaced.
    The, burillium, spear, has, fractured, under stress.
  • Omega 13 — Concept · Plot device · 3 mentions · first at
    A mysterious device in the Galaxy Quest movie that plays a significant role in the plot.
    The, Omega, 13?, Who?, Why, does, it, sound, so familiar?
  • Respect — Concept · Discussion topic · 4 mentions · first at
    Discussed in context of how fans should treat celebrities at conventions.
    And just to be clear, I'm not insulting fans, but we all need to be more respectful of the human element of fandom and that even celebrities are human and they deserve respect, too. And yeah.
  • Deception — Concept · Theme · 2 mentions · first at
    Discussed as a concept foreign to the Thermian aliens in the movie.
    Does, no, one, on, your, planet, behave, in, a way that is contrary to reality.
  • Taran pleasure ship — Concept · Plot device · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as part of the Galaxy Quest script's setting.
    I, just, can't, believe, it., Any, of, it., Look at this room. They designed it based on the Taran pleasure ship from historical document 37.
  • Commitment — Concept · Theme · 1 mention · first at
    Discussed as an important quality in both acting and the movie's plot.
    It's, not, stuff., I, mean,, anybody, can learn the stuff. The important thing is commitment. 99% of anything is just committing to it.
  • The Tony Madison Institute for Computer Research — Concept · In-universe institution · 1 mention · first at
    A fictional research institute named after Gwen's character in the movie.
    Just, then, the, door, opens., Larry enters. Oh, Lieutenant Madison, the females of the ship have requested your imprint for archival purposes at the proposed Tony Madison Institute for Computer Research. Gwen looks at Liaryi.
  • NSEA Protector — Concept · 16 mentions
  • Galaxy Quest — Concept · 13 mentions · first at
    Awesome., Let's, see., So,, welcome, YouTube audience to Table Read Tuesday's rendition of Galaxy Quest. we have a very intrepid crew this evening. Five solid folks to read eight major parts.
  • Historical documents — Concept · 4 mentions · first at
    Or child on my planet who does not. In the years since we first received your ship's historical documents, we have studied every facet of your missions technologies, and strategies historical, documents.
  • lying (concept) — Concept · 4 mentions
  • spoof — Concept · 4 mentions
  • Protector 2 — Concept · 3 mentions · first at
    Interior receiving quarters protector 2.
  • quazar dilemma — Concept · 2 mentions · first at
    Commander,, please, settle, a, dispute, that my crew and I are having in the quazar dilemma. The sentient had taken control of the ship's guidance systems. However excuse, me,, guys.
  • handlers (at conventions) — Concept · 2 mentions
  • hasty247 — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    Instagram. It's on private. I'll accept it if you don't seem shady. it's Hasty247.
  • science fiction convention — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    A few are sobbing. And then a burst of thunderous applause. We're at a science fiction convention. The enthusiastic crowd of fans continue cheering as the master of ceremonies guy takes the stage.
  • The Lost Galaxy Quest episode — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    Well, there you are. You are the first people to see The Lost Galaxy Quest episode 52 parter since it was originally aired in 82.
  • Grabthar's hammer — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    Ignores this, grabs the photo from his hand, signs it, thrusts back. The next fan steps up by grabb grabthar's hammer by the He signs it and thrusts it back before he can even finish.
  • Murar language — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    Two more fans dressed as Alexander's character approach him, proudly chattering at him in the Murar language.
  • craft service — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    You're blocking leadership to, make, sure, craft, service, keeps, those little butter cookies and plenty of them. and determination to, playing, scenes, shirtless, because, the ladies do love Commander Perry.
  • Thermians — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    Along as Jason pursues Gwen. Commander I must speak to you. It is a matter of supreme importance. We are Thermians from the Catala Nebula, and we require your help. I beseech…
  • dog food commercial — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    Yeah,, what, a, bunch, of, losers., Those, poor actors. They've done like what for 20 years. I think Fred Quan did a dog food commercial. Sad.
  • Great Nebula burst — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    In the 5 million years following the Great Nebula burst, our people were one.
  • cremorian fingerbeast — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    Okay, doki. so listen, I had a late night with a cremorian fingerbeast. So I'm going to just shut my eyes for a bit, but go on. I'm listening to every word. Okay.
  • galactic axis — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    Power mode, but we are experiencing a reflective flux field this close to the G galactic axis.
  • Code of the Makkar — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    Though I am Thermian, I have lived my life by your philosophy, by the code of the Makkar.
  • Taran pleasure ship — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    I, just, can't, believe, it., Any, of, it., Look at this room. They designed it based on the Taran pleasure ship from historical document 37.
  • Commitment (99% of anything) — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    It's, not, stuff., I, mean,, anybody, can learn the stuff. The important thing is commitment. 99% of anything is just committing to it.
  • Computer neural nets — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    We, built, something, from, the, blueprints and what references we could find on your internet. Our computer neural nets made educated guesses in areas we were uncertain. So there is actually much about the device we don't even understand.
  • Tactical simulation — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    Talented scientists, our attempts to operate our own technologies under tactical simulation have been disastrous.
  • Zeta frequency — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    I, have, raised, SARS, on, Zeta, frequency.
  • Gilligan's Island — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    They're not all historical documents. surely you don't think Gilligan's Island is a Matasar and the others exchange sad glances.
  • Deception — Concept · 1 mention · first at
  • visual effects — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    Is a pretty long scene in the script and, a, lot, of, that, you, mentioned like save money to like do the visual effects for all those different things.
  • San Diego Comic-Con — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    And, this, is, quite, timely, for, anybody watching it live because I think San Diego Comic- Con was just last week weekend.
  • fourth wall — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    And so, I thought that was a nice way of, it's a spoof, but it's also breaking that fourth wall a bit, with these are here's the show and then here's the show within the show and here's the show behind the show and.
  • play within a play — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    Happens but I think we did but I yeah that's, one, of my, favorite, things, as, well is like it's almost a play within a play but not really because it is but it is for these…

Places & events

  • Galaxy Quest (the film) / Mock convention — Place · Setting / plot locus in script · 13 mentions · first at
    Refers both to the film's universe and the convention set pieces used in the early script scenes; central staging area for the table read and plot exposition.
    Backstage., Here, we, meet, the, real, life actors all dressed as their TV alter egos. Gwen de Marco, beautiful in a sexy and improbable bodysuit. Alexander Dayne, Dr. Lazarus, wearing green alien.
  • NAA Protector — Place · Setting · 2 mentions · first at
    The fictional spaceship from the Galaxy Quest series, central to the plot.
    Interior, NSCA, Protector, Command, Deck Space. Five members of the crew of the NCAA N oh sorry NAA protector sit in the large circa 1979 high-tech cabin.
  • YouTube — Place · Broadcast platform / live stream host · 5 mentions · first at
    Platform where the Table Read Tuesday event is streamed live; audience addressed as 'YouTube audience' in the episode intro.
    Awesome., Let's, see., So,, welcome, YouTube audience to Table Read Tuesday's rendition of Galaxy Quest. we have a very intrepid crew this evening. Five solid folks to read eight major parts.
  • Comic-Con — Event · Setting · 2 mentions · first at
    Mentioned as the setting for Galaxy Quest's fan interactions, illustrating the convention culture the movie parodies.
    A few are sobbing. And then a burst of thunderous applause. We're at a science fiction convention. The enthusiastic crowd of fans continue cheering as the master of ceremonies guy takes the stage.
  • Imperial decks B and C — Place · In-episode setting / autograph location · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned in the script as the spot in the convention where the cast will sign autographs; referenced by the readers when describing the convention logistics.
    Literally was so The, commander, and, his, crew, will, be signing autographs on Imperial decks B and C near the Coke machines.
  • The Tony Madison Institute for Computer Research — Place · Setting · 1 mention · first at
    A fictional institute mentioned in the script, part of the Galaxy Quest universe.
    Just, then, the, door, opens., Larry enters. Oh, Lieutenant Madison, the females of the ship have requested your imprint for archival purposes at the proposed Tony Madison Institute for Computer Research. Gwen looks at Liaryi.
  • Pluto — Place · Setting · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as a platform where 'Galaxy Quest' can be watched for free.
    It is on Pluto. Yeah. Which is free no matter what. You don't even have to sign up. It just Marshalls in between, but they're not that long.
  • San Diego Comic-Con — Event · Referenced event · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned in the context of conventions and fan interactions.
    And, this, is, quite, timely, for, anybody watching it live because I think San Diego Comic- Con was just last week weekend.
  • Austin, Texas — Place · Setting · 5 mentions
    Mentioned as the hometown of one of the participants, adding personal context.
    You can find me on YouTube. And yeah I'm a local h actor from Houston Texas. and I go by she her pronouns and yeah I just love the craft of acting Shakespeare everything but I love this movie so much so lovely, wanderer.
  • LA — Place · Residence · 1 mention · first at
    Where one of the performers is located.
    All right. and he him in LA and just love movies and screenplays and this one especially. So all right,, let's, jump, over, to, player two. Who is Heather?
  • Lethbridge, Alberta, Canada — Place · Residence · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as the residence of one of the participants.
    I live in Lethbridge, Alberta, Canada.
  • Penhold, Alberta — Place · Residence · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as the residence of one of the participants.
    Hi,, I'm, Vicky, Dykes., I'm, in, Penhold, Alberta up in Canada. today I'll be reading some actions and descriptions in various spots. Lazarus/Aexander.
  • Penhold, Alberta, Canada — Place · Residence · 1 mention · first at
    Where one of the performers lives.
    Hi,, I'm, Vicky, Dykes., I'm, in, Penhold, Alberta up in Canada. today I'll be reading some actions and descriptions in various spots. Lazarus/Aexander.
  • Houston, Texas — Place · Residence · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as the residence of one of the participants.
    And yeah, if you look hard enough you can find me on YouTube. And yeah I'm a local h actor from Houston Texas. and I go by she her pronouns and yeah I just love the craft of acting Shakespeare everything but I love this movie so much so.
  • Geek Coverver, Washington — Place · Residence · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as the residence of one of the participants.
    Dictionary that's all right, and, I, am, Cat, Wilson, and, she, her pronouns in geek coverver Washington tonight I'll be reading seeing quite a few roles and I'll probably forget a few of them on the way. So, Fred and.
  • Venice — Place · Setting · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as a location in the Galaxy Quest script.
    Mind, if, we, skip, that?, I, have, to, get, back pretty quick for this thing in Venice.
  • Tarzana — Place · Setting · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as the location of a fictional garage in the script.
    Dusk, crickets chirp. Inside the open garage, a suburban house sits Brandon and his friends in their uniforms surrounded by homemade spaceship interior constructed of painted.
  • Command deck — Place · 13 mentions · first at
    Interior, NSCA, Protector, Command, Deck Space. Five members of the crew of the NCAA N oh sorry NAA protector sit in the large circa 1979 high-tech cabin.
  • Protector docking station / docking structure / starport — Place · 6 mentions
  • Alien planet (burillium source planet) — Place · 4 mentions
  • Dining hall — Place · 3 mentions · first at
    Situations, room., Dining, hall.
  • Generator room — Place · 3 mentions · first at
    Generator, room., The, group, enters., The centerpiece of the room is a large pulsating orb. When the orb dims, we see its surface has a rocky texture like a large boulder. Many texts scurry about.
  • Catala Nebula — Place · 2 mentions · first at
    I must speak to you. It is a matter of supreme importance. We are Thermians from the Catala Nebula, and we require your help. I beseech you to come with us back to our ship. A great many lives hang in the balance.
  • computer store — Place · 2 mentions · first at
    Brandon and his friends look very disappointed. The commander never showed up. Exterior computer store parking lot morning. Gwyn, Alexander, Tommy, Fred and Guy perform for the…
  • Electronics store — Place · 2 mentions · first at
    Interior electronics store, shipping warehouse near dock. Jason inspects himself in a mirror. He meticulously suits his commander's insignia, fastens a stray buckle, carefully picks a piece.
  • Medical corridors / medical quarters — Place · 2 mentions
  • Lethbridge — Place · 1 mention · first at
    I live in Lethbridge, Alberta, Canada.
  • Penhold — Place · 1 mention · first at
    Hi,, I'm, Vicky, Dykes., I'm, in, Penhold, Alberta up in Canada. today I'll be reading some actions and descriptions in various spots. Lazarus/Aexander.
  • Malaysian — Place · 1 mention · first at
    Excuse, me., I'm, an, African-American playing a 9-year-old Malaysian named Laredo. Hello.
  • Enoch 7 — Place · 1 mention · first at
    And we all know what happened to the beast on Enoch 7.
  • men's room — Place · 1 mention · first at
    Comments to him, but Jason pushes past without response and takes refuge in the men's room.
  • Nid Delta — Place · 1 mention · first at
    Can of Coke. And sir, Saras has moved the deadline. we are approaching his ship at the Nid Delta now. He wants an answer to his proposal. I understand you have been briefed.
  • gallium arsenide mines — Place · 1 mention · first at
    Oh,, yes,, sir., He, is, a, very, bad, man indeed. He has tortured our scientists put us to work in the gallium arsenide mines, captured our females for his own demented purposes.
  • Shipping warehouse near dock — Place · 1 mention · first at
    Interior electronics store, shipping warehouse near dock. Jason inspects himself in a mirror. He meticulously suits his commander's insignia, fastens a stray buckle, carefully picks a piece.
  • 23rd quadrant of gamma sector — Place · 1 mention · first at
    23rd quadrant of gamma sector. I can show you on a map.
  • Toian minefield — Place · 1 mention · first at
    It's, a, Toian, minefield, left, over, from the great [ __ ] of 12185.
  • Strategy room — Place · 1 mention · first at
    Interior, ship, strategy, room., The, crew sits around the room, licking their wounds. Alexander nurses a blue beverage. Tommy examines a high-tech metallic cast on his arm.
  • 134 — Place · 1 mention
  • Pluto (dwarf planet) — Place · 1 mention

Media & podcasts

  • Galaxy Quest — Media · Primary script / film being table-read · 13 mentions · first at
    Central media work around which the episode's table read is organized; the cast reads and discusses scenes, differences between script drafts and the released film, and fan/actor dynamics.
    Galaxy Quest by David Howard, Robert Gordon.
  • Jason Nesmith — Character · Commander / central character in script · 2 mentions · first at
    Primary protagonist in the Galaxy Quest script; much of the table read focuses on his actions, relationships with other characters, and how actors portray him.
  • NCC Protector / NA Protector — Character · Ship name / setting · 7 mentions · first at
    The ship (NA/NAA Protector / Protector 2) is the primary setting for many of the script's scenes; used repeatedly in the table read as the environment where action occurs.
    The sky opens with a flash and a spaceship rumbles into view. On its hole, the letters NA protector. Magnificent, though on closer inspection, it shutters ever so slightly, denoting precGI model work on a budget. We're watching a TV show.
  • Omega 13 — Character · Mystery device / plot MacGuffin · 4 mentions · first at
    Central plot device sought by the antagonist Saris; repeatedly referenced as dangerous and the reason for negotiation and conflict.
  • Gwen DeMarco — Character · Crew member / actress playing crewman in script · 4 mentions · first at
    Major crew character and one of the actors reading and discussed in the table read; her relationship with Jason and status as an actor (frustrations with typecasting about her bodysuit) are discussed.
  • Matthazar — Character · Thermian leader / alien liaison · 3 mentions · first at
    Leader of the Thermian (Theurian) aliens who bring the cast aboard and revere them; central to the 'aliens-misinterpret-TV' plot device and emotional through-line.
  • Saris — Character · Antagonist / villain in the script · 3 mentions · first at
    Primary antagonist whose threat (seeking the Omega 13 and committing atrocities) drives the central conflict of the acted scenes discussed in the episode.
  • Alexander Dane — Character · Dr. Lazarus / actor struggling with typecasting · 1 mention · first at
    Significant character; table read includes Alexander's internal struggle with his role and acting career (Alan Rickman reference) and his interactions with cast and fans.
    Dr. Lazarus of Temeck Alexander Dane.
  • Fred Quan — Character · Tech sergeant / crew technician · 4 mentions · first at
    Acting as the ship's tech/engineer figure in the script; provides technical solutions (burillium sphere identification) and humorous technobabble; important to plot when fixing reactor problems.
  • Tommy Weber — Character · Crew member / Laredo (youngest crewman) · 2 mentions · first at
    Portrayed as the youthful, enthusiastic crewman; key in comedic and action moments (piloting, parking-lot-style docking tension) during the episode's read-through.
    Interior, surface, pod., Tommy, pilots, a craft as a pod approaches the beautiful and mysterious planet. Guy looks out the window nervously.
  • Laredo — Character · Young crew member / child character · 8 mentions · first at
    On-screen character serving as the ship's young crewman; part of the ensemble whose interactions are read and commented on during the episode.
    Laredo is age nine. The crew mates exchange relieved smiles.
  • Tony Madison — Character · Crew member (actor playing Gwen in film excerpt) · 2 mentions · first at
    Referenced as an on-screen actor/character in the script read; part of the ensemble and used in backstage/clip descriptions.
    The, beautiful, shipmate, Tonnie, Madison, who plays Gwen Demarco.
  • Star Trek — Media · Referenced work · 5 mentions · first at
    Mentioned as a comparison to Galaxy Quest, highlighting the spoof nature of the movie.
    Maybe, we, should, just, start, a, Star, Trek club.
  • Star Trek — Media · Referenced media · 5 mentions · first at
    Mentioned in comparison to Galaxy Quest.
    Maybe, we, should, just, start, a, Star, Trek club.
  • Gilligan's Island — Media · Referenced media · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned in the context of historical documents versus entertainment.
    They're not all historical documents. surely you don't think Gilligan's Island is a Matasar and the others exchange sad glances.
  • Hereditary — Media · Referenced media · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned in the context of actors taking on unexpected roles.
    Yeah., Yes., Tony, Kleti, doing, like Hereditary. She was I'll never do a horror film. Oh, okay. I'll do this one. One of the scariest movies ever.
  • The Invention of Lying — Media · Referenced media · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned in comparison to Galaxy Quest.
    I, wouldn't, say, as, well,, but, this, is, made in 1999. 10 years later, the Ricky Jerice movie, The Invention of Lying.

Full transcript with timestamps

And we are live on YouTube. Awesome., Let's, see., So,, welcome, YouTube audience to Table Read Tuesday's rendition of Galaxy Quest. Um, we have a very intrepid crew this evening. Five solid folks to read eight major parts. So, we'll be doing a lot of double casting here. And some of us just got our parts literally a few minutes ago. Um, so it'll be a very cold read for some of us, but hopefully a very fun one. Um, we're going to go through and introd introduce ourselves and who we're playing and where people can find us on social media briefly and then we'll jump right into the script. So, um, I'm going to just go ahead and start with, um, uh Jacob, if you're here.

Hello,, my, name, is, Jacob, Patrick., I'll, be playing Jason and a few other things in this amazing movie that I love love love so so much. If you have not watched it I'm glad you're here, but go watch it. All right. Um, and uh, he him in LA and just love movies and screenplays and this one especially. So

all right,, let's, jump, over, to, player two. Who is Heather? Hello,, my, name, is, Heather, Lee, Cameron. I'm an actor, I'm a writer, and I'm a creative freelancer. I live in Lethbridge, Alberta, Canada. The pronouns are she, her. I've done a lot of stuff, some in film, a bit in TV some online, and some in voice, and some in theater. You can find it all over the internet if you look hard enough. I've also done a lot of writing that you can find all over the internet if you look hard enough. Um, you can find me on social media under Heather Lee Freelancer on Facebook, The Stormman Latterday Saints on YouTube and Heather Lee Cameron on Instagram. Thank you very much. I'll be playing Gwen. I'll be reading actions and descriptions in section two and four.

I'll be playing fan number two. I'll be playing fan number four. I'll be playing monster number one and tech number two. I've got a lot of work to do, so I best get to it.

Nice. Awesome., Awesome., Awesome. Entertaining, you, all. All, right,, let's, jump, down, to, Heather, or not Heather, Vicki. Sorry, that was just Heather.

Hi,, I'm, Vicky, Dykes., I'm, in, Penhold, Alberta up in Canada. Uh, today I'll be reading some actions and descriptions in various spots. Lazarus/Aexander. I'm thrilled. I always enjoy playing Alan Rickman characters. Uh Brandon fan three. Um Cynical I can't read my own handwriting technician one lanc uh Leri I think it is and Saras and uh you can find me on Instagram. I'm yoga grammar 10 and I'm on Facebook. I'm uh Vicky Dykes and I've recently joined threads.

Awesome., And, we'll, jump, down, to, Haley. Hi, everyone., My, name, is, Haley, Elizabeth Byermeister. Um uh I am thrilled to be doing this movie. Oh my gosh, is it my childhood and also just I don't know just one of the best movies. It's like got an airplane vibe to me. I just like it. The comedy is my favorite. Um I am so stoked to be playing my favorite act one of my favorite actors, Sam Rockwell's character of Guy. Um I will also be uh doing the the alien that has a very funny line in the beginning, the young boy, TB, the widow's peaked alien.

Um Navigator, Kyle, and Quellic. And I will also be doing a great alien, too. And I'll be doing actions and descriptions and you can find me kind of similarly. I like how Heather says you can just find me if you if you try. I don't know. No, I'm kidding. Um uh uh I I guess I can shout out my Instagram. It's on private. I'll accept it if you don't seem shady. Uh it's Hasty247. And um yeah, if you look hard enough you can find me on YouTube. And yeah I'm a local h um actor from Houston Texas. and I go by she her pronouns and yeah I just love the the craft of acting Shakespeare everything but I love this movie so much so

lovely, wanderer yes, I, am, definitely, a, file, which, sounds weird but I know it's a word and I'm going to keep using it find it in the dictionary that's all

right, and, I, am, Cat, Wilson, and, she, her pronouns in geek coverver Washington uh tonight I'll be reading seeing quite a few roles and I'll probably forget a few of them on the way. So, um Fred and Tommy on the crew and Malthazar on the alien ship. Uh Nuru Cynical figure 2 the excited alien. Hollister an alien commander. Leifith the computer fan five and action descriptions in 1 8 and 13. So, we'll see if we can keep it all together tonight. That's an awful lot. Um, and pardon us if we have to pause it occasionally and say, um, oh, who's playing that role? Because we'll get a lot of lot of prompting here. But our script tonight is, um, an interesting one, um, because this is, we often get a certain draft of a script. And tonight's script is no different. It is not the final shooting script. It is a draft.

But it does indicate on the script when they change the draft numbers, they all change the color of the pages. So, our pages will be white and black and white like normal, but we'll see some color coding when we switch from one draft to another. It will say pink draft or green draft or whatever. So, we'll just kind of skip over those, but you'll see that those are different iterations of the same script. Um, so hopefully that won't confuse our readers here too much either. But, um, I did highlight those in the script so you can kind of see those.

I, think, it's, cool., Like, it, is, pretty, cool, because, usually, we don't know, you know, exactly which. Usually we just get one version. So this be kind of interesting to see what might have changed between version to version. And it is different than the movie, which I did watch last night. There are certain some scenes in here that are not in the movie.

Out, of, order., Totally., Out, of, order. Or, out, of, order, totally., Yes., So,

all, right., Let's, um, let, me, pull, that script up here. And find that script. Actually, it's open on one of these screens. Um and let's see. I'll pull that up. All right. Move that over here so I can find it and share. There it is. All right. And I got to take it back to the top. And I'll make it a little larger for you folks there too, as soon as I get to the slider bar. And and close the toolbar here. This is a Google document of the script too. So, someone went through took the time to rewrite the thing. Um, or read so it's a nice print. Anyways all right. Is that a large enough size for folks?

Yes., No. That's, lovely. Okay., And, if, I, can, figure, out, how, to close this toolbar. Anyone have an idea? Um,

try, the, um, far, right, fit, side, with, that arrow pointing up. I don't know if that would work, but

Oh,, hi. Yeah. Control, shift, F., There, we, are., At least I guess a few of it. A little bit.

Yeah,, a, little, bit. All right., Okay., We'll, start, reading from here then. I believe Haley is going to start us off.

Sounds, good. Galaxy Quest by David Howard, Robert Gordon. Act and scene numbers added by Taylor. Okay. Teaser. Exterior. Outer space. The vastness of space. Suddenly, a hole in the sky opens with a flash and a spaceship rumbles into view. On its hole, the letters NA protector. Magnificent, though on closer inspection, it shutters ever so slightly, denoting precGI model work on a budget. We're watching a TV show.

We're, exiting, the, time, knot, now,, sir. Interior, NSCA, Protector, Command, Deck Space. Five members of the crew of the NCAA N oh sorry NAA protector sit in the large circa 1979 high-tech cabin. All of them human except for Dr. Lazarus. A purple reptilian looking angel alien. Laredo is age nine. The crew mates exchange relieved smiles.

We're, alive., We, made, it,, Commander., We made it. Thank, you. By, Grahar's, hammer,, we, live, to, tell, the tale.

Systems, register, functional. All, systems, are, working., Commander. Commander.

They, all, turn, to, look, at, the, commander who turns to reveal himself dramatically. Good-looking. His acting is classic Charlton H. Take no prisoners style. He looks around the command deck worried, almost sniffing the air.

I, don't, like, it., It, was, too, easy., Look for ambient energy fields. All, normal,, sir., The, entire, spectrum.

Check, again,, Lorado. Yes,, sir., I, Wait., Oh,, no. His, radar, lights, up, with, dots., First, a few, then hundreds.

They're, everywhere., There, there, are, time knots opening everywhere. Impact, now,, Commander.

Suddenly,, an, explosion, rocks, the, ship. A, trap. We're, surrounded,, Commander., The, entire 5K ranking is out there.

Our, plasma, armor gone,, sir. Another, blast, rocks, the, room., Structural damage at 68%.

We're, getting, more, structural, damage. Major structural damage. It's, a, core, meltdown,, sir., It, can't, be stopped.

The, commander, turns, to, his, adviser, Lazarus. Commander,, surrender, may, be, our, only option.

No., Never, give, up., Never, surrender. The, reactor, has, eaten, through, four levels. Six levels. The ship is just disintegrating.

Your, orders,, sir., Your, orders. The, commander, walks, into, closeup., Steely determination.

Activate, the, Omega, 13. The, crew, mates, exchange, expectant, and terrified glances. Closeup of a Pman's hand as he operates a series of controls which in turn opens five layers of mechanical locks revealing a serious looking lever. The commander pulls that lever. A machine is revealed rising from the floor in the middle of the room. It begins to glow. Cut to each actor in in turn reacting dramatically. Then suddenly the picture goes white. Leader leader numbers appear. Leader numbers appear with a studio copyright notice. Cut to hundreds of faces.

Enthralled legions of mostly spotty male-faced adolescent fans staring into the camera. For a moment all is silent. A few are sobbing. And then a burst of thunderous applause. We're at a science fiction convention. The enthusiastic crowd of fans continue cheering as the master of ceremonies guy takes the stage. Well, there you are. You are the first people to see The Lost Galaxy Quest episode 52 parter since it was originally aired in 82. As most of you know, no concluding episode was filmed when the series was cancelled. So, one episode was never included in the syndication run. Let's hear it for Travis Lat Key who actually rescued the footage from the studio garbage. Can you believe that?

Now for the moment you've all been waiting for. The intrepid crew of the NA Protector.

But, a, stage, hand, in, the, wings, signals for guy to stretch. But, first,, uh, what is a hero? Let's take a look at a few more clips.

Backstage., Here, we, meet, the, real, life actors all dressed as their TV alter egos. Gwen de Marco, beautiful in a sexy and improbable bodysuit. Alexander Dayne, Dr. Lazarus, wearing green alien prosthetic makeup. Fred Quan calmly sitting on an apple box reading the paper. And Tommy Laredo Weber, the youngest of the group. Where the hell is he? An hour and a half late? an hour and a half.

This, is, great., They're, going, to, start eating each other out there. He's, a, twitch.

Oh,, and, did, you, hear?, He, booked, another fan appearance without us. You're, kidding., When, for?

Tomorrow, morning, before, the, store opening. He's, a, miserable, twitch. The, guy, is, terminally, selfish.

He, ate, my, sandwich. What? A, month, ago,, he, ate, my, sandwich., and, he ate Fred's sandwich. Gwen turned to notice Alexander staring into a makeup mirror, eyes roaming over his alien green makeup and scaly rubber features with a mournful expression.

Oh,, Alex,, get, away, from, that, thing. Dear, God,, how, did, I, come, to, this?

Oh,, not, again. I, played, Richard, II. Five, curtain, calls. Third. Five curtain calls. I was an actor once. Damn it. Now look at me. Look at me.

Settle, down,, Alex. No,, I, can't, go, out, there., I, won't, say that ridiculous catchphrase one more time. I won't. I can't.

At, least, you, had, a, part., You, had, a character people loved. My TV guide interview was six paragraphs about this bodysuit. about my legs. How did I perfect my trademark side saddle pose? Nobody ever bothered to ask what I do on the ship.

You, were, the, um, Wait,, I'll, think, of, it. I, repeated, the, computer. It's getting hotter, Commander. The ship is disintegrating, Commander. Nothing I did ever affected the plot. Not once. Nothing. Excuse me.

That, was, ever, taken, seriously. Excuse, me., I'm, an, African-American playing a 9-year-old Malaysian named Laredo. Hello. Suddenly, the rear doors open and Jason Nesmith, the commander, strolls in all exuberance and charm. Oh, you're muted.

Yeah., My, friends,, your, commander, has arrived. Am I too late for Alexander's panic attack? Apparently, so that's a regular. You should have it looked at. Lakers are hot. Speaking of which, Gwen you look spectacular. Oh, what did I do now?

On, the, convention, stage,, Guy, continues to stall. Sure,, the, rocks, looked, hollow, and, the sets moved when anyone bumped into them but we didn't care.

Film, clips, are, projected, behind, him., On an alien planet, the commander carries a limp body of his adviser, Lazarus. Ray guns erupting around him. On the command deck, the crew fights a space battle with crack position teamwork. H for those four seasons from 79 to 82. We, the viewers, developed the same affection for the crew of the NA Protector that the crew had for each other. These weren't just adventures and adventurers exploring space. These were friends

backstage., The, others, surrounding, Jason fighting. You said we do appearances together or not at all.

I, didn't, say, that., I, said,, "Wouldn't, it be great if we could always work together?" That's what I said.

Unbelievable. You are so full of [ __ ] A, few, fans, built, a, little, set, in, the garage. I come in for an hour at most. It's nothing.

How, much, of, a, nothing?, Not, enough, to split five ways. Kind of a nothing.

What, do, you, want, me, to, say,, Gwen?, They wanted the commander. Suddenly,, bright, lights, stream, in., They all turn to see Alexander skulking out of the exit. A beat. Then they all run to catch Alexander tackling him. On stage, Guy gets a Q, thumbs up, cue from a stage hand and begins to introduce the cast to the delight of the applauding fans.

Okay,, here, we, go. Let's hear a warm welcome for crack gunner/navavigator Laredo Tommy Weber.

Tommy, comes, bounding, in, with, a, big smile. His hair must behind him is a film clip of young Laredo in action. If it's got quantum rackets, I can fly it.

Ship's, tech, sergeant, Chen, Fred, Quan. Fred, strolls, out, with, a, casual, wave. Give me a stick of gun and a hair pin and we're on our way.

Gwen, and, stage., Gwen, and, Jason, are wrestling on the ground with Alexander. Oh, I'm sorry. That's you, isn't it?

You, just, can't, you, can't, you, can't, just leave. Can't I watch me? Come, on,, old, friend.

Friend,, you, stole, all, my, best, lines., You cut me out of episode two entirely.

The, beautiful, shipmate, Tonnie, Madison, who plays Gwen Demarco. On stage, Gwen takes a stage notably ruffled. In the film clip, Tony Madison looks around the cabin fearfully. 100° and rising.

It's, it's, it's, getting, hotter, Commander. Many, appreciative, whistles., Gwen, forces a smile.

And, now,, the, commander's, advisor, and closest friend, his peaceful nature ever at odds with the savage warrior inside him. After witnessing the massacre of his entire species as a boy, we see a split screenshot of Alexander. One mildmannered, the other a savage beast of vengeance tearing into a foe. Backstage, Jason still in a wrestling match with Alexander.

You, will, go, out, there. I, won't., And, nothing, you, say. The, show, must, go, on.

Oh,, damn, you., Damn, you. Dr. Lazarus of Temeck Alexander Dane. On, stage,, Alex, bounds, up, on, the, stage, bowing deep with grace and humility to stage train British actor.

By, grahammer, you shall be avenged. Alex, cringes,, desperately, unhappy., And finally, my fellow Questarians the brave commander of the NAA protector, Peter. Peter Peter Peter Quincy Quincy Quincy Tagger Tag Jason Smith. Jason appears and a spotlight follows him. Unbelievable. He rented a spot. Jason raises his fist, encouraging the fans to cry out.

Jason,, oh,, never, give, up., Never surrender. I, think, that's, Jason's, lines., That's

Oh,, I, thought, that, was Never, give, up., Never, surrender., Damn, the Renaissance cannons. Full speed ahead.

The, fans, go, crazy. Exchange, glances. That's, what, I, wanted, to, say., I'm, sorry.

You, got, more, alignment. Apologizing., You're, doing, great. Literally was so

The, commander, and, his, crew, will, be signing autographs on Imperial decks B and C near the Coke machines.

Yep. Oh,, it's, my, turn. Yep,, it's, Heather's, turn. Convention, section, two,, convention hallway. It's quiet. We're on four pairs of boots. Walking down the hallway, we pan up to reveal five serious looking young people, four men and a woman cleancut as Disneyland employees and impeccably outfitted in Galaxy Quest style uniforms. Something odd about them you can't quite put your finger on. For now, we'll refer to them as the peculiar fans. Convention hall. We move with the peculiar fans as they enter the bustling convention floor, making their way past the numerous fans dressed as their favorite Galaxy Quest characters through the various booths selling Galaxy Quest and other sci-fi memorabilia, catching snippets of conversation along the way. They pass to elaborately costumed alien fans talking.

Yeah, I used to do uh Gardner of Ang but I got a rash from the chest pads. So now I'm sacknod from episode 5, which is fine except the transducer pinches when I sit down. You know

they, pass, a, group, of, particularly earnest fans at a vendor's booth, also costumed as the five Galaxy Quest leads. Their leader, Brandon Waguer, inspects the seller's model of the defender contemptuously.

The, tail, fin, is, concave,, not, convex., And the proton reactor is where the influx thermos stores should be. And oh my god is this ters blue green number six on the hull?

This, is, complete, abortion. With curious glances to this similarly uniformed group, the peculiar fans move past, then come to a halt as they spot Jason up on a raised platform at the front of the hall, signing autographs for a long line of fans. The peculiar fans stare at Jason as though they were in the presence of God. They exchange astonished smiles and start towards him. They cast table. Tommy, Alexander, and Fred sign autographs at a row of tables near Jason, but significantly lower than his perch. Is it me or does his table get higher every convention?

One, of, many, fans, dressed, as, Dr., Lazarus steps up to Alexander and salutes him with crossed fists.

By, grab, Thar's, hammer,, by, the, sons, of Ravon, I shall avenge you. Alexander ignores this, grabs the photo from his hand, signs it, thrusts back. The next fan steps up by grabb grabthar's hammer by the He signs it and thrusts it back before he can even finish. Next

guy,, the, MC, approaches, the, actors, at their tables. Hi, everybody. Hey,, thanks, for, one, nice, intro., Um, guy, you probably don't remember me, do you? I was on the show in 82, uh, episode 31. Got killed by the lava monster before the first commercial. Crewman number six.

The, actors, pretend, that, they, remember him. Oh, right. Guy. Guy., Listen,, I, was, wondering, uh, would you guys mind if I sit in today? See if anyone's interested in an autograph. You know, you never know.

Sure, guy,, if, you, can, stand, the excitement. Two more fans dressed as Alexander's character approach him, proudly chattering at him in the Murar language.

Don't, make, me, get, a, restraining, order. Across the room, the peculiar fans are making their way through the crowd toward Jason. We suddenly notice something very strange. The left hand of the tallest one is flickering between a normal hand and a hand with seven long blue tentacles for fingers. The leader notices and motions to the afflicted man who wraps sharply against a metal blinking box on his belt. The hand becomes normal again. He looks up, nods at the leader. From now on, we'll refer to these five as the aliens.

At the cast table, Gyn now sits with the others for Lauren. No fans are in line for his autograph. He watches it as Fred fields questions from the group or Ben's led by Brandon

and, Mr., Quan., In, episode, 19,, when, the, re reactor fused, you used an element from Leopold 6 to fix the quantum rockets. What was that called?

A, brevocium. The, blue, sheath., It, was, encasted, in a, bthermal, creigh, housing.

Brandon, makes, a, note,, thanks, him,, and exits with his group. How, do, you, remember, this, stuff?

Oh,, I, make, it, up., use, lots, of, K's, and V's. A, male, fan, moves, up, to, Gwen,, hands, her, a picture to sign.

I'm, a, big, fan,, Mr., Marco. Gwen, looks, at, the, photo., Non, plus., You really expect me to sign a naked picture of myself? This isn't even my body. Yeah, it's normally fake. With fakes it's like recycle bin. But this one's really good. Could you not write over the eggs? A fan finally approaches Guy who looks up eagerly. The fan looks at him quizzically trying to place him.

Episode, 12: Killed by the lava monster. Laredo,, could, I, get, an, autograph?

Guy, shrugs,, disappointed., Gwen, gives, him a comforting look, then looks across at Jason on his perch talking dramatically to a group of fans. A young boy watches wideeyed.

On, one, hand,, if, I, had, moved, an, inch,, the beast would have killed me. On the other hand, my crew was in danger.

How, did, you, know, what, to, do? Without, a, crew,, I'm, not, a, commander. He, pulls, down, on, the, kid's, camp. And we all know what happened to the beast on Enoch 7.

The, fans, make, happy, nerdy., We, sure, do know. We, sure, do. At, the, cast, members, table,, Gwen, shakes her head appreciatively. You got to admit they do love him.

Oh,, almost, as, much, as, he, loves, himself. They, watch, as, Jason, fields, another question from a fan. in our camera between Jason's lines and the rest of the crew.

I'm, glad, you, asked., To, me,, the, most important qualities of a Galaxy Explorer are loyalty

the, camera, center,, no, matter, whose, shot you're blocking leadership to, make, sure, craft, service, keeps, those little butter cookies and plenty of them. and determination

to, playing, scenes, shirtless, because, the ladies do love Commander Perry. Gwen, Alex, and the others try to contain their laughter. Closer angle, Jason's table. Bored with the constant queries of his fans, Jason glances over to see Gwen smiling at him. She quickly looks away. Jason doesn't take his eyes off Gwen as Brandon steps forward, his brown net with serious matters.

Commander,, please, settle, a, dispute, that my crew and I are having in the quazar dilemma. The sentient had taken control of the ship's guidance systems. However

excuse, me,, guys. Jason, exits., Brandon, turns, to, his friends, frustrated. I hadn't even gotten to the relevant conundrum.

The, cast, table., Gwen, answers, a, question from a shy girl. Mr., Marco,, in, episode, 15,, Mr., De, Los, 5, I got the feeling that you and the commander kind of had a thing in the swamp when you were stranded together. Did you?

The, commander, and, I, never, had, a, thing. That's their sto her story. Gwen, looks, up, to, see, Jason., The, girl giggles and exits. Jason smiles at Gwen.

What? You, smiled, at, me. Rolling, her, eyes., Gwen, rises, and, walks off. Undaunted. Jason follows but runs into the five aliens. Their leader Matazar, bows respectfully, then follows along as Jason pursues Gwen. Commander I must speak to you. It is a matter of supreme importance. We are Thermians from the Catala Nebula, and we require your help. I beseech you to come with us back to our ship. A great many lives hang in the balance.

Right., Uh,, if, this, is, about, the, thing tomorrow, you can hammer all the details with my agent, but make sure to have a limo from my house. They jammed me into a Toyota the last time I did one of these.

I, uh, certainly, but catch, me, later., Okay. Jason, catches, up, to, Gwen., He, spins around dramatically.

Crewman, Madison,, I'm, sorry., Whatever, I do next, I have no control over. It's the midst of the strange planet. It's filling my head with such thoughts.

He, leans, in, for, a, tortured, kiss., Some fans gather, delighted by the impromptu show, but Gwen steps aside. It was cute when I didn't know you. She exits. Jason tries to pretend that doesn't hurt. Convention floor. Jason moves forward introspective, amidst the enthusiastic fans. They all shout out questions and comments to him, but Jason pushes past without response and takes refuge in the men's room. Jason enters to witness the inongruous sight of Fort Mnar beast of the urinal taking mnar piss. Jason enters a stall and sits on the lid trying to get a moment to think but two cynical 20somes enter laughing their keers off. He can hear their voices echo from the other side. I know what it says. I'm not going to say that cat. So thank you.

I'm just correcting the spelling. Uh Vicki, that's you. Um,, you're, right., What, a, freak, show. This is freaking hilarious.

Yeah,, what, a, bunch, of, losers., Those, poor actors. They've done like what for 20 years. I think Fred Quan did a dog food commercial. Sad.

Did, you, hear, Nes, Smith, up, there?, That's the saddest. I think he actually gets off on the these nerds thinking he's space commander. It's pathetic. And his friends.

Yeah,, they, hate, him., I, know., Did, you hear them ragging on him? Commander Fury Furry.

He, has, no, idea, that, he's, a, laughingtock, even to his buddies. They, exit,, their, laughter, ringing, in Jason's ears. Convention floor. Jason's table. Jason is back at his table signing autographs in a foul mood. He scribbles his name irritably avoiding contact with the fans as Brandon and his group of afficionados approach him. Commander, as I was saying in the quazar dilemma, you use the auxiliary of deck B for gamma override, but online blueprints indicate deck B is independent of the guidance matrix. So, we were wondering where the air lies.

It's, a, television, show., Okay,, that's all. It's just a bunch of fake sets and wooden props. Do you understand?

Yes,, but, we, were, wondering. There, is, no, quantum, flux, and, there, is, no auxiliary. There is no godamn ship. You get it?

Jason, notices, that, all, eyes, are, turned on him. The hall has become deathly quiet. Jason rises abruptly and exits through the hall. Brandon and the fans do their best not to take this personally.

Haley,, you're, up. Gotcha., Section., Okay., Act, one,, scene three. After the convention, interior Gwen's house. Gwen is cooking something intricate and delicious as she talks to Alex on the phone. Her house is tasteful and bright on a budget.

I, don't, know,, Alex., He's, never, gone quite this far before. Interior., Alex., Alexander's, apartment night. Alexander sits at his table applying spirit gum remover to the edges of his alien head appliance.

I've, said, for, years, he's, mentally unstable. He stands and moves to the ref refrigerator. Nothing but a hunk of very rank cheese which he sniffs disdainfully.

Oh,, good., There's, nothing, to, eat. Why, didn't, you, stop, at, the, market?

I, still, haven't, got, this, bloody, thing off. You, could, order, something, in.

A, boy, comes, to, the, door. I, don't, know. It just wasn't like him. Yes., Oh,, poor, Jason., As, we, speak,, he's probably out somewhere talking rubbish to a room full of hangers on. While here I sit, eating Christmas cheese in spring.

Interior, Jason's, bedroom, next, morning. Jason sleeps, hung over, dead to the world. His doorbell rings. He barely moves. Every indication is that he's dead. More ringing. He stirs enough to groan and drags a pillow over his head. The ringing continues. Exterior Jason's house. Jason opens the door in his robe, drooping, bloodshot eyes, eyed in a squint of a headache. There before him are the aliens dressed in their perfect galaxy quest attire. Jason stares at them blurry eyed with earnest respectful faces. The five salute him in the ga uh classic Galaxy Quest style. Jason shuts the door in their face. Ding-dong.

The, door, opens, again. What, do, you, want? The, leader, Matazar, steps, forward,, speaks quickly. Sir, I understand this is a terrible breach of protocol, but please I beg you to heed our plea. We are theans from the Catala Nebula. Our people are being systematically hunted and slaughtered by Rothar Rossaris of Fatuk. Sarus wants the Omega 13. We are here to meet in negotiation. However our past efforts in this regard have been nothing short of disastrous. The flames, the death. Please, Captain, you are our last hope.

We have secured a limousine. Oh, right. Uh the the thing with the the thing. Come on in. I I'll get some pants on.

Most the four aliens stand on one side of the room. Jason, mostly dressed, hunts under his couch for something.

Commander,, standing, here, in, your presence is the greatest honor we could ever have hoped to have achieved in our lifetimes.

Mostly, all, they, can, see, of, Jason, at, the moment is his butt. Thanks., Appreciate, it., Anybody, seen, my other shoe?

Interior, Lincoln., Jason, sits, in, the, back with Matthasar and the others half awake. Sir, I am Nu, senior requisition officer. Before we travel to the ship please let me know if you have any requirements weapons documents personnel.

I, could, use, a, coke. Haley. Haley. One, of, the, aliens. One, of, the, aliens, nods, to, the, other, who makes a note. All right. Um Haley, did we lose you?

You've, got, T, here., Are, you, watching, the screen? Oh,, I, have, Sorry,, I, am, here, now., I, was also always here. My thing glitched. Okay, I'm good. Uh, sir, I am TB. Wait. Yes. Okay, sir. I am TB. I would like to explain the history between our people and the Sarus Dominion in great detail. In the 5 million years following the Great Nebula burst, our people were one. What about him? Doesn't he talk?

His, translator, is, broken. The, four, alien The fourth alien says something, but it comes out a weird mix of sounds like a screaming baby inside a bag pipe. Okay, doki. Um, so listen, I had a a late night with a cremorian fingerbeast. So I'm going to just shut my eyes for a bit, but go on. I I'm listening to every word. Okay.

Jason, is, asleep, before, Tab, gets, the, next sentence out. Section, five,, act, two,, scene, two. Welcome to the protector 2. Interior receiving quarters protector 2. Jason is shaken softly by the shoulders. He opens his eyes to see a young female crewman Leeri. We hear a low rumble.

I'm, sorry, to, wake, you,, sir,, but, your presence is requested on the command deck.

Jason, tries, to, reorient, himself, as, she leads him forward. Interior hallway. The protector too. Liari escorts Jason down to the high-tech hallway. Jason looks around, still holding his can of Coke. And sir, Saras has moved the deadline. Uh, we are approaching his ship at the Nid Delta now. He wants an answer to his proposal. I understand you have been briefed.

Yeah,, I, I, got, most, of, it, in, the, car. He's the bad guy, right? Oh,, yes,, sir., He, is, a, very, bad, man indeed. He has tortured our scientists put us to work in the gallium arsenide mines, captured our females for his own demented purposes.

Okay,, I, have, got, the, picture., You, have pages or do you want me to just go for it?

Oh,, I, I'm, not, sure., I script, pages., Never, mind., Let's, just, see what old Saras has to say for himself.

Methazar, approaches, with, other, crew members. Commander,, welcome, to, the, Protector, 2. Would you like to dawn your uniform?

Mind, if, we, skip, that?, I, have, to, get, back pretty quick for this thing in Venice.

As, you, wish. Another, alien, comes, running, up, out, of breath. Sir,, it's, Saris., He's, here. Interior command deck. A door slides open and Jason and the others enter the command deck. It's straight out of the TV show. Blinking lights, consoles, the cool old tech displays, but a bit dark. Jason looks around genuinely impressed. Still wearing his glasses.

Not, bad., Usually,, it's, painted, cardboard boxes in a garage. They, lead, him, to, the, commander's, chair. He sits.

Surf., We, apologize, for, operating, in, low power mode, but we are experiencing a reflective flux field this close to the G galactic axis.

No, problem., This, thing, have, a, cup holder. Uh,, this, situational, analysis, commander.

What's, your, name? Uh,, Glasser. Jason signs his autograph and hands it back. There you go.

We're, approaching, in, five, ticks,, sir. Command to slow. Jason, looks, towards, the, front, window view screen. Stars move past in a familiar display.

Sure., Set, the, screen, saver, on, two. Sorry. Sorry. I didn't mean to break the mood. Slow to mark two, Lieutenant. A ship appears on the screen, growing closer. It is a menacing craft, sharp and jagged with a gargoyle shaped figure head. Then the view screen fuzzes to life with an image of Saris. He's ugly and green hued, black sharp teeth, a metal hand. He hisses. There's a beat as the aliens take in the sight, trying to well their courage. I see fear. H that is expected. Ah, they bring a new commander. Oh, such a cowardly species. Not even our own kind.

No matter. Here are my demands. And I would suggest, commander, that you think well before speaking a word, because these negotiations are tender. And if I do not like what I hear, there will be blood and pain as you cannot imagine. Jason takes a sip of coke and checks his watch. First, I require the Omega3. Second. Okie dokie. Let's fire blue particle cannons full. Fire red particle cannons full. Fire ganet magnets left and right. Fire pulse catapults from all the shoots and throw this thing at him too. killer.

He, hands, the, gunner, the, empty, coke, can and then before even waiting for the weapons to reach their target, he exits hallway. Jason emerges and looks both ways trying to get his bearings. Several of the aliens chase after him as he enters the corridor, exchanging stunned dances. Yeah, sure. Trying to absorb the magnitude of what just happened.

Commander,, where, are, you, going? home. You, You, mean, Earth? Yeah,, Earth., Time, to, get, back, to, Earth, kids.

He, turns, a, corner., Jason, is, oblivious, to the muffled sounds of explosions, traces of the demolition going on outside.

But,, Commander,, the, negotiation,, you, you you fired on him right?, Long, live,, what's, your, planet?

The, long, live, Thein., Take, a, left, here. But, what, if, Sarah, survives? Oh,, I, don't, think, so., I, gave, him, both barrels.

He, has, a, very, powerful, ship., Perhaps, you would like to wait to see the results of

I, would,, but, I, am, really, late, and, the 134's a parking lot. The 134 um after two. But listen, the guy gives you any more trouble, just give me a call. Mathazar produces a walkietalkie device for Jason

and, interstellar, Vox. Thanks. Mathazar, looks, him, in, the, eye., A, tear starts down his cheek. He hugs Jason and then shakes his hand sincerely.

How, can, we, thank, you,, Commander?, You, You have saved our people. It, was, a, lot, of, fun., Uh, you, kids, are great. The others shake his hand thanking him as they enter the interstellar pod room, a room with a very high circular ceiling. The aliens continue thanking Jason as they lead him to the center of the room. Jason realizes he's left all alone in this strange room with no visible doors. Jason is suddenly aware that he is standing on a glowing red disc.

Wait,, where's, the, car? Suddenly, a clear cylinder rises from the disc and conforms around him encasing him in a clear bullet-shaped container. There is only an instant to register surprise as the ceiling divides and an aweinducing rotating starfield is revealed. The walls pull back around him and Jason finds himself surrounded by the infinite vastness of space and his face is a mask of horror in the split instant as Jason in his pod is rocketed forward into space.

Haley, are you back? Yes. Uh, here we go. Black Jason's yard. We pull back slowly from the iris of Jason's eye. He is now standing on the red disc in the middle of his own backyard. He stands there in shock, teeth chattering, shivering in waves and waves from the intercompre incompreh in incomprehension of what he's just experienced. Unable to move from the snot interior, Brandon's garage, Tarzana. Dusk, crickets chirp. Inside the open garage, a suburban house sits Brandon and his friends in their uniforms surrounded by homemade spaceship interior constructed of painted cardboard boxes and Christmas lights.

Brandon and his friends look very disappointed. The commander never showed up. Exterior computer store parking lot morning. Gwyn, Alexander, Tommy, Fred and Guy perform for the store's grand opening. A small crowd is gathered including Brandon and his gang inspecting a mockup of the protector.

Take, it, from, us., We've, been, all, over, the universe. But we've never seen the space age values we've seen here. Techco electronic superstore.

Alexander, pauses, deeply, ashamed., Gwen nudges him by, graph, Thammer. What a savings.

A, few, balloons, are, released, into, the air. Computer store later. The actors hand out pamphlets and sign the occasional autograph. Fred pats Alexander's back who stares ahead morose. Around the corner, Jason appears looking around with disoriented yet exhilarated eye twinkle. An exhilarated twinkle in his eye. He spots his friends and starts quickly toward the cast table, but runs smack into the group of fans led by Brandon. Brandon and Brandon and Jason go down along with an armful of Galaxy Quest collectibles.

Commander,, my, apologies. Brandon, is, nudged, by, his, friend, Kyle. Commander,, um,, evidently, we, had miscommunication regarding yesterday's scheduled voyage, and it's

But, Jason,, still, in, a, haze,, simply gathers his things and walks off. The other nerds look at Brandon. He dissed us again, Brandon.

He, probably, um, he, has, some, important business to attend to. Maybe, we, should, just, start, a, Star, Trek club.

The, others, turn, silent, incredulous. Brandon looks at Hollister with hard cold eyes. Pacino's seen with Fredo.

Don't, ever, say, that, to, me, again. He, walks, away., The, others, stare, at Hollister. Actor's table. The actors look up to see Jason approaching.

Do, you, know, what, time, it, is?, Why, did, you even bother to show up? Jason, has, so, much, to, say,, he, can't, get, a word out. Gwen notices his wrinkled slept in clothing and wild eyes.

Jason,, are, you, all, right? Jason, points, to, the, sky,, grasping, for words. I was there up there. They came to the convention. I thought they were fans but they're not. They took me up to their ship. They're called Theurians or uh Fasians. I I don't I don't know. I was a little hung over. Um but what they built is incredible. I fought this man this thing called Saras. I kicked his butt. And they have these pods. One took me through a black hole. I know. I I I know what you're thinking but I can prove it. Look, they gave me this.

He, searches, his, pockets, frantically, and produces the interstellar vox. The thing blinks its little red light emotions victoriously. The others exchange glances, then produce their own blinking voxes and set them on the table.

Yes,, but, can, you, talk, to, people, in, space on yours? Protector this is the commander. Come in Protector.

The, others, exchange, glances, again. Alexander turns to Gwen. Oh, god,, what, an, ass.

Come, in,, Protector., Protector. Tommy, rolls, up, his, sleeve,, ready, to fight.

That's, it., It's, go, time. Don't, do, it,, Tommy., He's, not, worth, it. Jason, notices, a, label, on, his, vox, that reads property of Brandon Weaguer. He looks around for Brandon.

This, isn't, mine., Wait,, where's, the, kid? You, know,, it's, one, thing, to, treat, us this way, but how can you do this to your fans?

Jason, looks, up, and, sees, the, young, woman we recognize as Theurian Lari. Uh, Laari. She's flanked by two young crewmen.

Oh,, begging, your, pardon,, Commander., We come with news. Uh, Sarah lives. He was able upon your departure to make an escape. However, he has contacted us and wishes to surrender. We humbly implore you to return with us. The two negotiate the terms.

Jason, looks, at, Liari,, then, turns, back, to the others, his experience twinkling in his eyes. They want me back. And I I I want you all to come. You have to come with me. It'll be the most amazing experience of your lives. We're going to negotiate an aliens general's surrender in space. You have to, guys. Guys.

They, have, begun, to, walk, away, one, by, one in disgust. Only Gwen remains. She looks at Jason.

Gwen,, you, know, me., I'm, a, lot, of, things, but I'm not crazy. But, Gwen, shakes, her, head, and, walks, off. Interior electronics store, shipping warehouse near dock. Jason inspects himself in a mirror. He meticulously suits his commander's insignia, fastens a stray buckle, carefully picks a piece of linen off his shirt. Then he looks into his own eyes for a long moment. Finally turning to Laari, a smile, eyes glistening. Nearby, a pod disc on the floor glows.

I'm, ready. Interior, dressing, room., The, actors, enter their dressing room. You, should, have, let, me, hit, him.

I, don't, know,, guys., I, mean,, he, almost looked sincere. I know it's bizarre.

Well,, I, think, we, should, have, taken, a gig. I mean, who knows next time he'll ask us.

They, all, slowly, turned, to, Fred., Of course, he was talking about a gig. Electronics store. The actors hurry through the aisles to the back of the store. Gwen shouts to an employee stocking shelves.

Commander,, come, through, here. The, employee, points, to, the, back,, taken with Gwen's beauty. Interior electronics store warehouse near dock. Gwen, Alex and the others enter and look around. Liari is still in the room alone. She lights up as they enter. Finally

we're, coming, too. Wonderful., The, commander, had, me, continue transmitting in the hopes you would change your mind. Protector, requesting six interstellar pods for immediate departure.

Tommy, rolls, his, eyes, at, Gwen., These fans, but Gwen suddenly notices the pod discs glowing beneath their feet.

Guys,, guys. Alex, tries, to, step, off, the, disc,, but, it moves to follow him. What in the world? I look forward to meeting all in you all in person.

And, with, that,, Laari, blinks, and vanishes. She was simply a hologram transmission. Full realization hits Gwyn.

Oh, my, god., Oh, my, god. Section, seven,, act, two,, scene, four,, the docking station. Interior NCAA protector docking station pod bay deep space. The room lights brilliantly with a series of flashes in rapid succession. The pods arrive with a flash through a hatch in the ceiling. They unfold to reveal Gwen, Alexander, Tommy, and Guy who stand paralyzed and teeth chattering. They look like a bunch of horrified bowling pins at all facing toward a metal hatch. Beyond it, they register the sound of wet footsteps growing closer. Their eyes widen as they see the hatch open, revealing a group of five horrible tentacle drooling scragging alien monsters who surround our visitors, probing them with jagged devices. Then one of the monsters looks down at a mechanism on his belt.

Oops., Crewman,, your, skins., Activate, your e- skkins. The, monsters, all, flip, switches, on, their belts. Their forms become human unformed as ship's technicians. Our most sincere apologies. We've forgot about our appearance generators. Then Jason appears in the doorway wearing a big warm smile.

Guys,, you, came. They, stand, there, still, paralyzed, and terrified. Okay,, who, wants, the, grand, tour?

Guy, is, now, relaxed, enough, to, let, out, the loudest, most genuine scream you've ever heard in your life. Uh ah

okay, guy., Anybody, else? Then, another, streak, of, light, and, Fred appears alongside the others. He steps off the desk unaffected.

Ah, that, was, a, hell, of, a, thing. What's wrong with them? Jason, smiles., Nothing, gets, to, Fred. Interior protector docking structure hallway. Jason leads Gwen, Alexander Tommy, Guy, and Fred down the hall. They shuffle toward the like recent hospital releases, looking around, silent and dumbfounded at their surroundings. Occasional involuntary jerks of their limbs, evidence of their horrifying journey.

That's, right., Just, keep, shaking, it, off. Here, have some gum. It helps. Where, are, we? 23rd quadrant of gamma sector. I can show you on a map.

Then, Matthasar, appears, coming, down, the hall with small group of aliens. He has a warm smile on his face.

Welcome, my, friends., I, am, Matazar., On behalf of my people, I wish to thank you from the deepest place in our hearts.

He, reaches, out, to, shake, their, hands respectfully. Dr., Lazarus, Lieutenant Medicine Young Laredo, how you've grown. Tech Sergeant Chin. And he looks at Guy quizzically, not sure who he is.

Crewman, six. Call me Guy. You, know, us. I do not believe there is a man, woman or child on my planet who does not. In the years since we first received your ship's historical documents, we have studied every facet of your missions technologies, and strategies

historical, documents. Yes., 18, years, ago,, we, received transmissions of the first. It continued for four years and then stopped as mysteriously as it came. You've been watching the show the the historical records out here. Yes. In the last 100 years, our society has fallen into disarray. Our goals, our values had become scattered. But since the transmission, we have modeled many aspects of our society from your example. and it has saved us. Your courage, teamwork, friendship through the adversity.

They, all, exchange, glances. In, fact,, all, you, see, around, you, comes from the lessons garnered from their historical documents.

That's, why, you, built, this, ship. It's, incredible. Oh,, this?, No,, this, isn't, the, ship., This is only the starport for the ship. You want to see the ship? He pushes a button and a door opens leading to a docking pod. Interior docking pod. They enter. He pushes another button and the doors close and the transport starts moving. As it clears a wall, we see out of the window a magnificent and breathtaking view of the enormous NA protector docked in front of the They all gawk at the amazing sight, their eyes wide like children. Oh my god, it's real.

All, this, from, watching, the, historical records. Yes, and your supplementary technical documents, of course.

He, motions, to, another, alien, who withdraws a number of brightly colored books and boxes from a backpack. The actors look through the various fan books and entertainment software bearing such titles as the official Galaxy Quest Blueprints, NEA Protector, and Virtual Galaxy Quest: The CD ROM Experience. The actors exchange glances and then Tommy begins to giggle. Alex looks at him at the fan stuff. Then out at the enormous ship and he begins to laugh too. The others join in laughing like maniacs. Hysterical disbelieving laughter as they head toward the giant ship.

Interior protector corridor. The group walks down the corridor, peeking into various rooms, more aruck every second. As they pass each room, the crew members inside salute. Female crew members pass occasionally, saluting and offering hello commanders to Jason. This does not escape Gwen's notice. Guy always seems to be just outside the group, a little late, always trying to see between their heads. The medical corridors are to the left.

The, actress, whispered, to, Jason, all, at once. What, the, hell, is, going, on, here?

Jason,, what, have, you, gotten, us, into? Don't, believe, this., It's, insane.

Wow., The, floors, are, really, clean. Calm, down,, everybody., We're, just, here, to negotiate General Sarah surrender.

Just, weapon, storage. It's, perfectly, safe., I, promise., A maintenance facility.

Jason,, this, is, crazy., We, should, get, out of here. Situations, room., Dining, hall.

You, want, to, go, home?, Fine., Say, the, word and we'll go home and feed the fish and pay the bills and fall asleep with the TV on and miss out on this. Is that really what you want? Anybody?

A, beat., Clearly,, nobody, wants, to, leave, a beat. the main barracks. 200, crewmen, rise, to, attention., Jason salutes back.

At, ease,, men, like, throwing, gasoline, on, a fire. Alex turns to Guy who is smiling ear to ear. What? I'm just has to be on the show, man.

Generator, room., The, group, enters., The centerpiece of the room is a large pulsating orb. When the orb dims, we see its surface has a rocky texture like a large boulder. Many texts scurry about tending the surrounding measurement devices.

The, generator, room,, a, burillion, spear, of course. I hope tech sergeant Jen that this meets with your approval. Fred runs his finger along a gleaming copper tube with authority.

Fine,, we'll, clean. Three, younger, crewmen, approach, and whisper to Matthasar. They argue a bit and then Matazar reticently approaches Fred.

Tech, Sergeant, Chen,, I, am, sorry, to, ask this of you so shortly after your arrival, but members of our reactor staff have a question they find most pressing. Uh huh

sir., We, have, had, unexplained, proton surges in our delta unit. They cannot be verified on the subfrequency spectrum but appear on the valance detector when scanning the burillium's sphere. We are unable to resolve this problem and we're hoping you would be able to advise us. Everyone turns to Fred. Silence.

Uhhuh., I, see., Well,, that's, a, puzzler, isn't it? The, others, exchanged, glances,, wondering what he'll say. And then Fred turns to one of the texts.

You,, what, do, you, think? Uh,, the, possibly, the, the, variance, bonds have shifted bilaterally.

What, does, that, mean? Uh,, what, does, that, mean?, Uh, yes, I, see. Uh yes it means that perhaps uh the bonding molecules have become uh coalent

covealent., Ah, right., So, so uh, so, so, our, our, solution, is, to introduce a bonding substrate uh two molecule compound sharing free electron and bombard the ions with the reflective isotopes.

Okay., The, other, texts, grin, astonished. Of course, it's so obvious. Guardian, Chen,, you're, a, genius.

Fred, waves, off, the, praise, modestly. Mathazar shoots a look to Lang as if to say, we're in good hands here.

Now,, I, suggest, that, you, rest, before, we take the ship out of dock. These crewmen will exhort you to your quarters.

Interior, media, room., Tommy's, escort, Niru, hands over various weapons to a grinning Tommy.

Uh,, here, is, your, Veilance, shield,, your Vox, your Magneto pistol. We know you prefer a sensitive trigger if anything else you require. Uh, no, I'm good thanks. Oh, wait. Here you go.

Tommy, stuffs, a, couple, of, bucks, into Nero's hand. Nero looks at the tip perplexed, and exits. Interior hallway. Alex's young escort, Quell, leads him down the hall. Dr. Lazarus, I hope that I am not breaching protocol, but I am so very humbled to stand in your presence. I have studied your missions in in extensively. Though I am Thermian, I have lived my life by your philosophy, by the code of the Makkar.

Oh,, well,, good., Um,, that's, very, um, nice. By, crack, Dr. Lazarus. Oh,, don't, do, that., I'm, I'm, not, kidding.

I'm, sorry,, sir., I, was, only Oh,, just, don't. Yes sir. Your quarters, sir. Interior. Alex's quarters. Quaic opens the door and they enter. The room is a gray square, completely barren. This is it. Yes, sir. Marvelous, isn't it? completely destructionous.

Where's, my, bed? Quillic pushes a button and six large spikes rise from the floor. Just as on your home planet, sir. If I may, it took me three years to master the spikes, but now I sleep with a piece I never thought possible.

Is, that, the, bathroom? Yes sir. The use of your waste facilities were strangely absent from the historical records. So we had to extrapolate purely on the basis of your anatomy. Interior Alex's bathroom. They enter. Alex looks down at a thing that looks more like a torture device in a toilet with elaborate tubes and stirrups and plugs going everywhere. H, you're quite complicated sir.

Alex, stares, at, the, thing, desparingly. Interior. Gwen's cabin. An exotic and beautiful room. Gwen is changing into a Galaxy Quest uniform. There's a knock on the door.

It's, Jason. One, minute., I'm Hey, I'm dressing. Oh,, come, on., It's, not, like, I, haven't.

She, finishes, and, turns., They, just, look at each other for a moment. Gwen breaks out into a smile trying to find the words.

Yeah,, I, know. I, just, can't, believe, it., Any, of, it., Look at this room. They designed it based on the Taran pleasure ship from historical document 37. Oh, and wait, wait, listen to this computer.

Yes. What's the weather like outside? There, is, no, weather, in, space. I, never, get, tired, of, that, joke.

Let, me, try., Computer. Computer. Only, answers, to, me. But, I'm, the, commander

on, the, show., I, talk, to, the, computer, and repeat what it says. So that's what they built.

Come, on., We're, wanted, up, on, the, comm command deck. But Gwen holds her ground.

Wait, when are you going to tell them? Tell, them, about who, we, are. Don't, you, think, they're, going, to, be pissed?

Are, you, kidding?, I'm, not, going, to, tell them. Well,, you, have, to, tell, them., What, if something happens? We're actors, not astronauts. We can't do this stuff.

It's, not, stuff., I, mean,, anybody, can learn the stuff. The important thing is commitment. 99% of anything is just committing to it.

99%, of, acting, is, commitment., Acting. Stella Adler never meant a resonance cannon. She taught acting.

Gwen, moves, towards, the, door. Hey., Hey., Where, are, you, going? We, have, no, right, to, do, this., They deserve to know.

Gwen., Gwen., Come, on., Wait., No. Just, then, the, door, opens., Larry enters. Oh, Lieutenant Madison, the females of the ship have requested your imprint for archival purposes at the proposed Tony Madison Institute for Computer Research. Gwen looks at Liaryi her eyes softening as she imprints her hand in a glowing pad.

The, Tony, Medicine, Institute. Jason, smiles., He, knows, he's, got, her. Well, maybe we could stay a little longer.

She, brushes, past, Jason, and, they, exit. Interior hallway. Jason and Gwen turn a corner and join up with Tommy. Alexander and Guy, they keep walking toward the command deck.

Uh,, what's, going, on? I, think, we're, going, to, exit, the spaceport. That, should, be, something, to, see.

Interior, command, deck., They, enter, and gawk at the familiar hub, waiting for the show to start, not realizing they are the show. If you would all take your positions.

Oh, right. Right. Us. Of, course. They, take, their, positions,, marveling, at the familiar control panels in front of them. Tommy turns to gun.

Oh,, look, this, thingy., I, remember, I, had it all worked out. This was forward back.

Yeah. Commander,, some, of, the, crew, have requested to be present at this historical moment. Math Matazar uh ma motions to and a few crewmen and crewmen enter followed by a dozen more followed by 50 more. They stand around the periphery of the room watching eagerly. Tommy turns to guy.

No, pressure,, huh?, I'm, glad, I'm, not, the commander. Okay,, Larredo,, take, her, out.

Everyone, in, the, room, turns, their attention to Tommy. His sarcastic smile drops.

Excuse, me. Uh,, they, designed, the, ship, from, watching you. So, take her out, Lieutenant.

Tommy, stares, down, at, his, control, panel. It's pretty self-explanatory. A throttle and a circular dial for direction, but daunting nonetheless

right?, Okay., Yeah, sure. Everyone's eyes are glued to him as he moves the throttle forward slightly. The engines come to life. A massive exhilarating sound. Tommy giggles nervously. His hands his hand trembles as he pushes the throttle further. The ship start to move. Ship starts to move. The actors exchange worried glances.

Oh, god., Oh, my, god. exterior ship. You can feel the weight of the giant craft as it eases forward sliding through the sides of the dock. Command deck. Everyone watches the forward monitor. Tommy turns the navigation dial slowly. Guy whispers to him. More to the left. Stay parallel. Stay parallel.

Hey,, you, want, to, drive? Exterior, star, dock., Indeed,, the, ship, is slightly off course. It's like trying to get out of a tight parking space with concrete walls to either side, and the ship is veering ever so slightly into one of the walls. Interior command deck. Tommy turns the dial to correct, but it looks like the momentum might carry the ship into the wall anyway. Tom pegs the dial to the left. The others hold their breath as the bow of the ship moves closer and closer to the wall. Then it touches the sound of a soft but high-pitched scrit.

Exterior stard dock. The ship is stopped just grazing the wall ever so slightly. Interior command deck. All eyes are on Tommy. He doesn't know what to do. Should he continue forward or back up and scrape again for sure? The classic parking lot dilemma magnified by 10,000. Tommy grasps the throttle and moves it slightly forward. Scrap. He keeps going in too deep to back out now. And the ship continues to scrape for a couple of horrid seconds as it completes the curve. And then it's free. The beautiful craft glides slowly out to open space. Jason and the others let out a sigh of relief.

Very, good,, Lieutenant., Forward., Mark Two. Tommy, smiles., Relieved., He, pushes throttle to the two.

Mark, two., Commander exterior ship. The ship glides out of space. Only a relatively minor scrape of the paint job to show for the incident.

That's, still, you,, Haley. Oh., Oh., Interior, dining, hall., The, crew and various aliens sit around at the large table eating an extravagant meal. Ma Matazar makes a toast.

To, our, brave, guests., Few, in, this universe have the opportunity to meet their heroes. We are blessed to count ourselves amongst them.

Wherever, a, distress, signal, sounds, among the stars, we'll be there. This fine ship, this fine crew. Never give up. Never surrender.

Everyone, thinks, glass. Quick tips his hat to Alexander as TB turns to Tommy. We are sorry about the instrumentation Lieutenant Laredo. There must have been a malfunction in the steerage mechanism.

Uh,, just, see, that, it, doesn't, happen again. Yes,, sir. How are you enjoying your food Lieutenant Madison?

Oh,, it's, fantastic., French, is, my favorite. Yes,, we, programmed, the, food, synthesizer for each of you based on the regional me of your birthplace. Are you enjoying your capmok blue blood ticks? Blood ticks, Dr. Lazarus. Alexander miserable miserable toys with a bowl of light living insects swimming in a disgustingly vomit textured broth

just, like, mother, used, to, make. He, pushes, the, bowl, away,, nauseated. Dissolve too. Dining hall later. The actors are wilted, half asleep. And as Jason goes on

the, beast, roared, and, I, pledged, my, knife in again and again. I held on for dear life as it thrashed about. And that was the day I learned the cliff serpent bleeds red. What price man? What price man? Tell me, Mazar, this Saris bloke we're flying to meet, what is it he wants exactly? For years, Sarus has plundered the resources of our planet, our people, our technologies. We built this ship in order to find a new planet to settle one far away from Saris. We are not a people accustomed to confrontation. We are scientists. This ship was our salvation.

A, tick, jumps, off, of, Alexander's, spoon. Back into the soup. But, Saris, found, out, about, our, plans, just as we had completed the construction of the Protector 2. He heard about the device, the Omega 13.

The, Omega, 13?, Who?, Why, does, it, sound, so familiar? The, lost, footage, at, the, convention., The mysterious device in our last epis historical document.

What, is, it?, What, does, it, do?, We, don't know. But, you, built, one,, right?

We, built, something, from, the, blueprints and what references we could find on your internet. Our computer neural nets made educated guesses in areas we were uncertain. So there is actually much about the device we don't even understand. We we were hoping you could enlighten us.

Well,, it's this was a device we discovered on an alien plant. We don't know what it does either.

Why, don't, you, just, turn, it, on, and, see it? has at its heart a reactor capable of generating unthinkable energy. If we were mistaken in our con action by even the slightest calculation, the device would act as a molecular explosive, causing a chain reaction that would obliterate all matter in the universe. Let me at the switch.

Matthasar, has Sarus seen the historical records? No., Thank, God, he, has, not.

Then, how, did, he, find, out, about, the device? Our, former, commander, was, not, strong.

Former, commander. I'm, sorry., You, deserve, to, be, shown. He nods. He nods to a crewman who pushes a button. A wall panel moves aside to reveal a large view screen. An image appears with a lot of static and the sound cuts in and out.

The, tape, was, partially, demagnetized, as it was smuggled off of Sarah's ship. But through the static we can make out an image. The former commander in alien form is strapped to a metal board. Each of his wrists and ankles is secured with a mechanical device and twisted in different directions.

Originally, one, of, our, own, tried, to, lead oncreen, Sarus, standing, over, the, alien with a control panel.

Is, that, all?, You, have, no, more, to, confess to me. No. After 3 days of this, you still require incentive.

Sars, moves,, switches, on, the, panel., Thei the the device pulls at the alien's limbs, twisting them horribly. Bones crackle.

I, see, again., I, have, told, you, all, I, know. Do I shame? I have told you everything. If you have any mercy within you, please let me die.

Oh,, I, shall., I, shall., When, I, grow, weary of the noises you make, my little play thing, be assured, you shall die. Sarus toys with his control panel mercifully. The screen fusses up with static and we can only hear the bone chilling screams. We pan around the table past Gwen Alexander, Tommy, Guy, their mouths open in horror as they watch the screen. Camera stops on Jason. He stares, the blood draining from his face. Interior hallway. The actors walked down the hallway beside behind Jason panicked.

We're, leaving,, Jason., We're, leaving, now. Let, me, think., I, I, need, time, to, think.

He, wants, to, think. No,, Jason,, that's, a, wrap., There's nothing to think about. Listen, I'm not even supposed to be here. I'm just crewman 6. I'm expendable. I'm the guy in the episode who dies to prove that the situation is serious. I'm leaving now. Math Matasar comes up comes running up looking distressed.

Commander Matthasar,, I, need, you, to, prepare, pods for my crew. your crew. What about you?

Jason, looks, torn., He, starts, to, say something but taking, your, commander's, pardon,, sir., But we cannot launch pods at this moment. Sarus will surely detonate any objects leaving the deck. Yes, sir. He's here now. Your presence is required on the command deck.

Everyone, reacts, alarmed., And, we, interior command deck. The actors enter the empty deck followed by Matthasar.

There's, nobody, here., Jason. Matthasar., Maybe, we, should, get, some, of your crew up here.

I, thank, you, for, your, consideration, to our pride. But while my people are talented scientists, our attempts to operate our own technologies under tactical simulation have been disastrous. He leans over to Gwen's computer station as she sits and pushes a button.

I, have, raised, SARS, on, Zeta, frequency. Uh,, great., Thanks. Uh,, still,, Methasar., Your, crew, may nonetheless be helpful in certain

but, he, is, interrupted, by, the, sight, of Saurus appearing on the large view screen. Saris now wears a metal eye patch and has a long scar across his cheek. We meet again, commander. The

crew, stares, at, Sars,, a, frightening, vis. Yes., Hi,, Sars., Uh,, how, you, doing?

Better, than, my, lieutenant. He failed to activate ship's neutron armor as quickly as I'd hoped on our last encounter. He brings into view a stake with the impaled head of his former lieutenant.

Right., Well,, listen., I'm sorry. I'm sorry about that whole thing before. It was kind of a misunderstanding. I I'm sure we can work this out like reasonable people. Uh, how's the uh uh that going to heal up? God, I I hope so. I just feel awful about that. Deliver the device now or I will destroy your ship.

Listen,, I, would, like, to,, but, frankly, I'm not even sure where it is or even

You, have, 10, seconds. All, right,, you, got, it., You, win., I'll deliver it now. Just give me a moment to set it up.

Jason, motions, to, Gwen, to, cut, the transmission. Gwen nods. All, right,, now, nobody, panic., I've, dealt with this guy before. Believe me, he's as stupid as he is ugly.

Jason, we're, going, to, fire, everything, we've, got at, him., All right, Jason,

you, just, keep, pushing, those, buttons. Those there. Send everything at him. Okay.

Guy, looks, at, the, buttons, labeled, with icons of aram araments. Okay. All right., Put, me, back, on, with, him.

I'm, trying, to, tell, you, you, are, on, with him. Perhaps I am not as stupid as I am ugly Commander.

Jason, turns, to, Gwen,, horrified. I, made, the, cut, the, line, gesture., You nodded. Okay.

I, thought, it, was, the, we're, dead, gesture. I was agreeing like I know where the whole button is.

Listen,, sorry,, you, can't, blame, me, for trying. Of course not guys., Red, thingy, moving, toward, the, green thingy. Red thingy. You know, moving toward the the green thingy.

What? Die, motions, to, the, radar, screen., The, red blip is about to impact. I think we're the green thingy. A present for you, commander.

Crap., turning., Gonna, get, out, of the, [ __ ], is, pounded, by, a, torpedo, blast ship. Now unlike now unlike the run back and forth shake the camera explosions of the TV show, the result is jarringly brutal. The sides slamming a Hummer at 70 mph. The entire crew goes flying from their positions and into the walls. The lights flicker. They exchange glances for the first time. Bonafide fear in their eyes. This is real. Then another blast sends them crumpled against the walls and objects like ragdolls. The pain is palpable as they try to get back to their stations.

We've, got, to, get, out, of, here. Tommy, looks, at, the, sparkling, map, of lights on his dash. Where?

Just, go., Go., Damn, it., Punch., Go., Tommy punches the red button. They all hold for dear life as the ship roars forward across the path of SARS's ship.

They're, turning., They're, coming. An, explosion, rocks, the, ship., Then another and another.

The, ship, is, sustaining, structural damage. Guys,, we're, sustaining, structural damage.

Faster., Tommy,, get, us, out, of, here. It's, as, far, as, it, goes. They're, still, behind, us.

We, should, have, a, turbo., I'm, always saying activate turbo boosters, right?

Uh,, could, be, this. Push, it., Hold, it, down. He, pushes, the, turbo., The, ship, begins, to vibrate.

The, enemy, is, matching, velocity. The, enemy, is, matching, velocity. We, heard, it, the, first, time.

Dude,, I'm, doing, it., I'm, repeating, the darn computer. Suddenly,, an, image, of, Fred, down, in, the generator room appears on the side view screen. side view screen. Yeah, he's taking it all in stride.

Uh,, hi, guys., Listen,, um,, they're, telling me the generators won't take it. The ship's breaking apart and all that. Just FYI.

The, view, screen, goes, black., The, ship roars forward. We've, got, to, stop.

We, stop,, we, die., Keep, holding, the thrusters down, Tommy. You, don't, hold, a, thruster, down., It's, for quick boosts. like you know

the, ship, groans, and, craks, then, a, loud claxon sounds I, remember, that, sound, that's, a, bad, sound

Jason, looks, forward, in, the, distance, is an amorphous mass maybe, we, can, lose, them, in, that, cloud

I, don't, think, that's, a, cloud as, they, approach, the, cloud, reveals itself to actually be thousands upon thousands of slowly rotating octatic The Hedrons.

Mthasar., What, is, that? It's, a, Toian, minefield, left, over, from the great [ __ ] of 12185.

Their, jaws, drop, as, they, see, the, vast army of mines. May, I, get, the, check.

The, ships, are, gaining. Do, your, best,, Tommy. Oh, god. The, first, mine, hits,, rocking, the, ship. Boom. Tommy swerves to avoid it, running into another mine. Then another. Tommy couldn't do worse if you were aiming for them.

Could, you, possibly, try, boom?, Not, to boom. Every boom. Single. Boom. One. They're, drifting, toward, me., I, I, think they're magnetic.

Exterior, protector., The, ship, hurdles forward through the minefield, taking considerable damage. As the mines impact, pieces of the ship fall off behind it. Interior Saurus's ship. Calm. Sars watches the protector fly into the almost certain death of the minefield. His lieutenant flies ahead eagerly.

Continue, forward,, sir., Patience, Lieutenant. Patience. You, hear, your, command,, deck.

We're, almost, through., Come, on., Hold. The, ship, is, now, vibrating, horribly., It groans and caks. Then rivets start to pop, sending deadly projectiles flying.

We, have, to, stop. Front, armor, is, gone., Just, slow, it, down, a little. No,, we're, almost, through.

Oh,, don't, be, insane., Stop., Full, stop. Keep, going., Keep, going. What, do, I, do?, What, do, I, do?, And, then suddenly a loud grinding noise. Then silence. The vibrating stops. Gwen looks up from her radar screen.

What's, happening?, What's, happening? The, engines, are, dead., We're, drifting.

Are, they, behind, us? No, I don't think so. Wait, they're not. But something is Oh my god. They look at the rear view screen to see two dozen magnetic mines bearing down on them in a cluster

down. They, barely, have, time, to, brace themselves as the ship is rocked by waves of explosions. They hit the floor and try to ride it out. It's brutal. Exterior ship. The last of the mines explodes and the ship is sent tumbling lifelessly. End over. End through space. The exterior lights are dark. The only shiny hole now blackened and ragged. Interior commander. Command deck. The deck. Deck looks dead and empty. Smoke is in the air. The lights are dim. The sirens have stopped. It's completely silent. The crew slowly emerges from behind panels and equipment, bruised and bloodied. Jason moves to Gwen. Are you all right, Tommy? Where's Tommy?

They, hear, a, groan., Tommy, is, crumpled against the wall, his arm twisted impossibly. He's in agony.

No,, it's, broke., Oh, god., Oh, god., I'll take him to medical quarters. They, exit,, limping., Alexander, rises, moves past Jason. Blood trickles down his forehead in a mocking tone.

Go, into, the, cloud. Where are you going? To, see, if, there's, a, pub. He, exits., The, others, turn, to, Jason, their faces suit, their clothing torn and bloody.

Interior, ship, strategy, room., The, crew sits around the room, licking their wounds. Alexander nurses a blue beverage. Tommy examines a high-tech metallic cast on his arm.

Forward, thrust, shaft, 87%. Left left vector guards 96 damage. Level five structural breaches in quadrants 32 34 40 43 58

and, the, engines computer., What, about, our, engines?, Why don't we have power?

The, burillium, spear, has, fractured, under stress. It's, fractured. Can, it, be, repaired?

Computer,, can, it, be, repaired? Negative., The, burillium, sphere, will, have to be replaced.

We, need, another, one. [ __ ], That's, the, burillium, sphere., That That's bad.

You, broke, the, ship., You, broke, the, bloody ship. I told you you don't hold down a turbo. You push it once, maybe twice for a boost, but you don't hold it. Do we have a replacement burillium sphere on board?

Computer,, do, we, have, a, replacement burillium sphere on board? Negative., No, reserve, burillium, spear exists on board.

No,, we, don't, have, an, extra, burillium sphere. You, know,, that's, really, getting annoying.

I, have, one, job, on, this, lousy, ship., It's stupid, but I'm going to do it. Got it?

Sure., No, problem. Suddenly,, the, doors, open, and, seven aliens enter, led by Matthasar. They look very serious. Guy changes exchanges an uh oh glance with Tommy, but the aliens fall to one knee, lowering their heads.

A, thousand, apologies., We, have, failed you. You, what?, What, are, you, talking, about?, We have seen you victorious in many more desperate situations. The fault must lie with us, with the ship.

Gwen, shoots, Jason, a, glance., Tell, them. No. Listen, Matthysar. It's not your fault. We're We're He can't bring himself to finish.

We're, not, the, people, you, think, we, are. I, don't, understand. Malthazar, don't you have television on your planet? Theater, films

the, historical, documents, of, your culture? Yes. In fact, we have begun to document our own history from your example.

No,, not, historical, documents. They're not all historical documents. I mean, surely you don't think Gilligan's Island is a Matasar and the others exchange sad glances.

Those, poor, people. Oh boy. Math, thear, and, the, others, exchange quizzical looks.

Does, no, one, on, your, planet, behave, in, a way that is contrary to reality.

Ah,, you, speak, of unable, to, bring, the, words, to, mind., He confers with his fellows.

Deception, lies. Well, sort of. We, have, become, aware, of, these, concepts only recently in our dealings with CIS. Often Saras will say one thing and do another, promise us mercy and deliver destruction. It is a concept we are beginning to learn at some great cost. But if you are saying that any of you could have traits in common with Saris.

He, starts, to, laugh, and, the, other, alien. You, are, our, protectors,, our, heroes., You will save us.

Suddenly,, a, view, screen, lights, up, and, we see Fred on the monitor from down in the generator room. Hey, Commander, listen. We found some burillium on a nearby planet. We might be able to get there if we reconfigure the solar matrix in parallel for endothermic propulsion. What do you think?

I, Well,, uh,, yes,, absolutely. Fred turns to the two young texts next to him, then licks and sticks two sticky gold stars on their wrists. They beam.

Correct., Gold, star, for, you, and, a, gold star for you. with me. Um, section 13, exterior ship. The ship lumbers away slowly forward. In the distance, we see the swirling globe of a colorful and mysterious planet. Interior service pod bay. Later, Jason Gwen, Tommy, Fred, and Guy enter the small service pod. Quell, and Alexander's protege, steps forward and hands Alex a device.

Dr., Lazarus., Yes,, this, mapper., I, have programmed it to the coordinates of the of a burillium sphere of a sufficient density.

Thanks. Good, luck, with, your, mission,, sir., My grand hammer by dozens of war. I wish you well.

Uhoh., What, did, we, talk, about? Right. Sorry, sir. Interior, surface, pod., Tommy, pilots, a craft as a pod approaches the beautiful and mysterious planet. Guy looks out the window nervously.

I, I, changed, my, mind., I, want, to, go, back. After, the, big, fuss, you, made, about, not getting left behind on the ship.

Yeah,, but, that's, when, I, thought, maybe, I was the crewman that stays on this the shin or something is up there, you know and then it kills me. But it kills me. But now I'm thinking I'm the guy who gets killed by some monster 5 minutes away after I'm 5 minutes after we have landed on a planet.

Guy,, you're, not, going, to, get, killed, on the planet. Okay. Oh,, I'm, not, I'm, not then. What's my last name?

Your, last, name? Yeah. What, is, it? It's, I, I, don't, know. No,, nobody, does., Do, you, know, why? Because my character isn't important enough for a last name. Because I'm going to die 5 minutes in. Why bother to come up with a last name for me?

Guy,, you, have, a, last, name., We, just, don't know it. Do, I? Do, I?, For, all, you, know,, I'm, just, crewman number six. Okay. Okay. It's Fleman. Guy Fleman. There. Now I'm a whole person. I can't die. Oh, fle. They can't. They can't kill me now, can they? Can they? Kiss them.

Laps, him. See, I am the hysterical guy who needs to be slapped and then I die.

Are, we, there, yet? Exterior, surface, pod., The, pod, makes, his way toward the surface. Interior pod. The ship shakes as it lands. Everyone exchanges anxious glances. As they sat down, everyone applauds, complimenting Tommy on the landing. Tommy looks away ashamed. Autopilot. Everyone looks away, disappointed. Suddenly, the hatch opens with a loud sh of air decompression. Fred has opened it.

What, are, you, doing?, You, don't, just, open the door. It's an alien planet. Is there air? You don't know, do you?

Fred, sniffs, the, air., Seems, okay., Guy size exterior planet surface day. The six exit the craft tentatively. Guy looks around apprehensive.

Oh,, which, way,, Alex? Alexander, looks, down, at, his, mapper. Um,, this, way., Wait,, no., Um,, that, way.

They, turn, in, the, opposite, direction., You were holding it upside down, weren't you?

Shut, up. You, know,, with, the, makeup, and everything, I actually thought he was smart for a second. You think you could do better, Laredo?

Hey,, watch, that, Laredo, crap. We're, screwed., We're, so, screwed. All, right,, let's, settle, down., If, we're going to get through this, we're going to have to exercise self-control.

Self-control? That's funny coming from the guy that slept with every moon princess and Tarakian slave girl on the show.

Did, it, ever, occur, to, you, that, if, you, had been a little more supportive, you could have held on to me? I could have

I, could, have, held, on, to, you. We're, really, going, to, do, this, here. Section, 14.

Rocky, incline., Spookyville., It's, darker here. More menacing. Jagged cliff overhang form. Spooky shapes. Guy looks around nervously.

Uh,, how, much, further? Alexander measures the distance on the device between his fingers and holds him up about this much.

What's, that, scale?, Is, that, 10, miles,, 100 miles? This, much. Guy GL glances back to see the rocky trench they just passed. They just passed through. The rock shapes jutting through the walls look vaguely like arms and hands. Suddenly, Guy yells as he drops out of frame. The others turn to see him on the ground, struggling, his foot lodged in a crevice in the landscape. Uh, it's got me. It's got me. See, 5 minutes I told you.

Jason, runs, back, and, starts, to, help extricate Guy. He pulls his foot free and looks around.

Something, grabbed, me., It, It, did., The others shake their heads and continue forward. Guy rises trying to put his shoe back on as he runs to catch up. Easy, son. It's just your imagination. Hang tough.

He, claps, guy's, shoulder, in, a, com commanderly way. They're, playing, your, grits.

Don't, be, ridiculous., And, note, the, sucked in gut. Sleeves, rolled, halfway, up, the, biceps. It's the rugged pose. They all nod in agreement. Jason is about to object when suddenly everyone is stopped in their tracks by spooky alien whispering and the sound of critters climbing around the surrounding cliffs.

That's, it., That's, what's, going, to, kill me. Jason let's, pick, up, the, pace, a, little,, shall we?

Crest, of, hill., They, climb, to, the, crest out of breath. Guy arrives last and they clear the ridge and look down onto valley below mining outpost. Below there is a small abandoned mining facility. Wind whistles through various structures and power stations. In the center of the outpost sits a large shimmering boulder. There it is. The burillium sphere.

End, of, the, first, half, of, script. Leave, him, on, a, cliffhanger,, cat. Literally,

if, you, haven't, seen, this, movie,, what happens on this planet is pretty fun. So, come back next week or watch it in between.

Oh,, you, guys, did, great., This, is, so, much fun. So, much fun., was every bit at the movie came back to me. I'm sorry. I had so much fun. Yeah, that was

And, here, I'm, looking, at, five, people., No, there were more actors, were there?

Just, five., Oh,, okay. We, did, have, seven, casts., We, ended, up having to um re, you know, three dropped out and one dropped in. Thank you very much for that, Jacob. We really appreciate having another actor fall fill in. It was so much fun. Wonderful when Jacob can join us. Like he can join us more often.

And, I'm, happy, you, guys, are, always, doing it. Oh, yes. I, mean,, if, it, weren't, for, Jacob,, we wouldn't exist at all. So

no,, I, don't, think, so. It, wasn't, for, Cat, and, Vicki, and, all, of you guys to keep it going. It wouldn't exist at all.

No,, we, were, going, to, postpone, actually. Oh, you, had, shown, up., We, figured, we, could maybe do it with five, but four would be a bit of a stretch for for as many crew members as we had to cover tonight. So yeah. So, we're really really glad that you you jumped in. So

got, to, join, this, expedition., It, was, fun. Oh,, yeah. Heather,, are, you, going to, watch, the movie in between?

I, will, try. You, got, it., So, you, have, to, here, next, week,, so, maybe, do it the week after. And I might.

I, think, it's, on, Pluto. It is on Pluto. Yeah. Which is free no matter what. You don't even have to sign up. It just Marshalls in between, but they're not that long. DVD somewhere.

I, know,, right?, I, think, they're, like protecting it so it's like on Pluto with annoying ads, but that's a good thing. There's also a really cool um thing that they came out with a couple of years ago, which was like a reunion special. I don't think Tim Allen was on it, but And of course, I think it was passed.

Of, course, not., Of, course,, the, commander is too good to go and show up on this special reunion thing. Of course

just, like, him. And, then,, of, course,, Alan, Mcman, didn't because I think they filmed it before he passed or after he passed. Yeah, but the Gourney really cool. It It says like a little little facts that are probably now typed up on IMDb anyways or BD. Um yeah, DB. I did it right. Um, but yeah it's kind of cool. It's good. Reunion. Yeah.

Yeah., And, it's, got, a, it's, got, a, fun ending, too. So yes. Which, I, won't, spoil.

So,, when, is, the, next, read?, Is, it, next week or the week after? The, next, read, is, next, week., Um, and, then um I can't remember. I think it's three and I think we have one more right after. I could be wrong, but um and then not till the end of August because I've got two weeks where I'm not available to read in between. So

Okay., Well, Jeff, for not having read the script Heather, that was remarkable. Um, your portrayal of Gwen was spot on.

Thank, you., I, actually, used, to, be, as blonde as she was. If you see past pictures of me in my Facebook, I was actually that blonde when I was younger.

Oh,, really? Yes. I take after my grandmother in that regard. She was very blonde when she was alive with actually that type of hair as well but it was more curly.

Mhm., My, grandmother,, Pearl,, and, I, had similar hair when I was about 14. Mine's, turning, all, gray. It had shades of red in it before, but now it's mostly gray.

You, guys, are, just, happy, to, have, hair. There, you, go., Yeah. Hi., You, know, what?, I, can't,, you, know,, I I don't want you to be offended, but I can't imagine you with hair, Jacob. I can't. You're perfect the way you are.

Well,, thank, you. You're, welcome. Most people I know that are bald like really pull it off. I'm not not attracted to that. I'm not saying I'm attracted to you. You're probably married. It's fine. I didn't say anything. Okay. I will say though, I love that they make Sir Gourney Weaver's hair blonde because she's not. And it like and then she's always had a beautiful Sorry. Oh my god. I can say this. I'm a woman. Like very She's just so hot and alien. Just everybody give me that. And um so they they just like so anti-type cast of her like hiking up her boobs and making up her bling her blonde was just very funny to me in this movie.

I thought it was awesome. Uh yeah, it's just like not her style but she like went for this comedy and it's one of

Yeah. You, know, it looks like some studio made her dye her hair blonde, which is like kind of the comedy in it, too. Yeah. Or something. I love it. It's quite often the roles in which we're not really familiar with and where we try the most.

Yeah., Yes., Like, um, Tony, Kleti, doing, like Hereditary. She was like, "I'll never do a horror film." Oh, okay. I'll do this one. One of the scariest movies ever. She's so good in it. Yeah.

And, this, is, just, such, a, fun, spoof,, too. I mean, I love the line of like, "Well maybe we should start a Star Trek club." And everyone just Brandon's friend and

they're, such, Galaxy, Quest, fans., Yeah. That's so funny. They're like, "What now? Star Trek."

Yeah., So, good. And, it's, like, spoof, world., Yeah., Yeah. Yeah., It's, obviously, model, modeled, on it, you know, especially with the commander sleeping with all the alien women and

the, and, becoming, a, drunk, like, later, like struggling actor like just and, guy, positive, he's, going, to, die because he doesn't have a last name.

Yeah., Yeah. What, other, differences, did, you somebody?, Yeah., He's, I, probably, just named Guy and like people were just making him an extra like throughout these this his like career in film. It's like I swear I'm a person. Yeah, that was so funny. I have a lot of mold. So you were saying, Jacob

well,, I, was, going, to, ask, you, uh, um, you mentioned how there's some differences from the movie. What are some that

Yes., So,, like, um, in, the, beginning, when the fans uh he's Jason's signing his autographs and he's on his own table by himself and the rest of them are on their own table. Um you know there there all those lines about the when the commander is saying this is what a commander should be like, right? he should be brave and he should be smart and he should be strong and whatever those actual words were. And everyone else is like, "Yeah, right." But but you know, for this, this, and this. They totally cut that scene out and only reference it in the bathroom scene later when the two guys are, you know, saying how you heard him talking about him. But we never actually get to hear the words

um, that, they're, saying, about, the commander. We just get the bathroom scene where the two critical guys are

um, complaining, about., That's, that's, like one of the differences that, makes, it, like, the, um, eventual, movie very funny is like they're all like you don't even show up for these. Like we keep doing it because we're struggling actors and we need to get paid to go to these comic cons and you barely show up and you think you're you think you're like the [ __ ] So they all like don't like him and they're like annoyed by his alcoholic tendencies. There's a lot of more backstory to like yeah the um Jason's like stuff. Then um I think they don't when they're touring the ship they have a huge long scene where they're touring on the ship and you know seeing all the different areas and we get to see we get to see the crew um you know the barracks room with the 200 some folks saluting the commander like

Yeah., But, we, don't, get, to, see, um, some, of the other rooms you know like um uh Alan Rickman characters room you know with the

no, bed, right, in, the, spikes., We, don't, get to see that or the shower. Um, and so some of the dining room scenes, you know, were cut out there, too. You know we do get to see the blood ticks and um him saying, "Oh, yeah, just like mother used to make." Um, so a few of those are in there, but they cut out a lot of the stuff, that I, think, it, just, make, it, um flow a little faster. Um, because that is a pretty long scene in the script

and, like, a, lot, of, that, you, mentioned like save money to like do the visual effects for all those different things.

Oh,, yeah., the, sets. To, be, fair,, going, back, to, Haley,, like I've actually worked and been at ComicCon's like they are very busy and the stars get very busy and they get very tired. So, it's long days and they kind of represented that part of the film quite accurately. The stars kind of get tired after a while and they get cynical and you know, they work very hard and they don't get enough kudos for as hard as they work at those conventions. And I don't know, some fans don't respect them as much as they should and it's sad.

Yeah. They're like, "I did a movie 20 years ago." Like, "I'll take a fan pick but it can get crazy." Yeah. Because there's just like there's always a cult fandom of things, right? Especially um space related things. Like

some, of, the, fans, can, get, outright, I don't know if the word is entitled is good, but they can get outright freaking mad when some when a star just wants to take a breath. And it's quite sad. People need to be more respectful to the stars who actually give their time and their energy to go and do these things for the fans because you know stars are human too and they need to take breaks sometimes and we need to be respectful of that.

And, this, is, quite, timely, for, anybody watching it live because I think San Diego Comic- Con was just last week weekend.

Yeah. Two, days, ago. And just to be clear, I'm not insulting fans, but we all need to be more respectful of the human element of fandom and that even celebrities are human and they deserve respect, too. And yeah.

What?, No,, they're, just, characters., We know them. We see them. No,, I've, worked, like, I, literally, worked three different like actually no, four or five different conventions and yeah celebrities have human needs and we all need to treat each other a little more human. And I really did appreciate Haley's comments about how the the stars were tired and they represented that part of it very well. Of course after being in the spotlight for how many years, of course, they get tired and need moments and but they also deserve respect to have those moments.

They deserve their right to have those moments. And the fans just need to kind of settle down a little bit and say "Hey, they will get to us. They will respect us, but we need to respect them in return. can't just demand their time demand performances or whatever. They're human first.

And, on, that, note,, to, a, little, teaser, for next week, the kid that he bumped into uh has a big Yes. Brandon big part next week.

Yeah. Or, two, weeks, from, now,, whenever, you, guys whenever Yep. sadly,, I, will, not, be, here., So,, hm.

And, I, like, to, the, fact, that, this, movie does address the the movie itself does address the fact that, you know, the stars get tired. Um, you know, that they are actors, but they're not they're there are not exactly the same as their characters. You know, and they also do mention, you know, the the line I that caught me with the fans was um it's one thing for the actors to treat each other the way they do when they're upset with each other, but for, you know, um when Gwen talks about the commander's reaction to his fans and how he got angry, this is just a show, guys, you know, and he's like, you know, it's one thing to lose it with each other, but quite another to lose it with your fans.

And so, you know, I thought that was a nice way of, you know, it's a spoof, but it's also breaking that fourth wall a bit, you know, with these are here's the show and then here's the show within the show and here's the show behind the show and

such. That's, probably, why, actors, have, handlers at the convention. That's another another thing. I don't know if you've been to many conventions, any of you. That's probably why actors have handlers. they can step in and kind of make sure things don't get too difficult for the actor or too intense between actor and fan and they just kind of moderate things to make sure everything's safe and pleasant. One thing I did notice though where the show did spend its money um the scene where Tommy is taking the ship out of the spaceport

and, onto, um, you, know, into, the, they really do a really nice job of that whole ship just screeching across the you know thing and and the whole line of aliens just like um is this really like

is, this, really, our, hero, and, the, ship, is like crashing ing against the space dock and it's a nice visual effect with that

and, it's, the, one, of, the, funniest, moments ever. It's that like physical comedy kind of thing. I mean maybe not. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that works. Yeah. Oh, it's so funny. He's like, "Okay, hold on. Hold on." And I love even the character I played, but he was like, "Go a little slower, man. You're not doing this real good, aren't you?" It's so funny. I love that part. I also think they did a lot of good special effects with um so at the very beginning when like they the other people like so the main cast of the show is already on the ship and then the other people show up they're the aliens are to their true form and they're these like grotesquely like well they're I don't know they they're kind of cute. I don't know. It's funny.

They're like pretty much this weird conglomeration of animals but like mainly like kind of like a squidlike like like um octopus kind of vibe. And that's something that's freaking them out too because they see them in their main form and they're like, "What the?" So all of the aliens that are like people in it are really like they actually look like that when they go to their like real form and it's so funny. So they're in like massive shock at that point. I love that part, too. So, but I think the CGI on that was actually pretty good for its time, right, with the aliens being like

I, feel, like, all, the, CGI,, unless, I'm misremembering in this movie, were very well done. Yeah.

Yeah., Yeah,, it, is. No, they did a great job with it. Yeah. And, uh, and, it's, still, got, a, huge, fan base, you know. It's like that documentary you were mentioning at the beginning. Um you know, the when they talked about the 20 year anniversary whatever. One of the people on it, I only caught the the teaser part of it but they're like, "Yeah, who hasn't seen Galaxy Quest? Who doesn't know about it?" you know, and they were the fans were all like assuming that everyone must have seen it because it's it's their their thing, right? How can anyone not like it? So, it was inconceivable to them that someone had not heard it or seen it.

Oh,, well,, let's, just, not, go, that, far. I've heard of it. I just haven't seen it.

I, think, my, dad, saw, it, like, when, he, was alive. He might have seen it. I wish I could have asked him.

Because, you, love, Star, Trek, so, much,, is that one reason you've stayed away from it or no? has nothing to do with

I, don't, know, but, you, know, I, just, know, he used to watch things on our Netflix and TV and I just don't know I was more of a turkey as was he and yeah

I, swimmed, into, this, very, easily, because uh yeah it's like totally a spoof on all that yeah

but, also, not, like, making, fun, of, it, it's like enduring like love like they still show respect for it I feel like

exactly, us. Yes., Um,, even, in, the, way, that, we, were talking about earlier with the u I guess par or parody or sarcasm of the whole idea of of rabid fans. I am not using the correct words. Either one of those didn't work. No, but you know what I Yeah, it's all to show Yeah. I guess like they're so bored of it and then they actually experience it and that's the movie. And it's such a great concept. It really is. And it it's also a simple concept, but the way it was done within the final draft, right, was just so funny and so brilliant. The whole thing is really

like, it's, written, well, here., It's, very well executed. Yeah,, I, agree. I, recommend, it, to, anybody, like

the, script, that, we, read, was, actually pretty entertaining in that way though that it was different. I thought it was cool. Yeah

it, was, close., It, was, very, close,, but there were definitely some differences.

Yeah,, especially, in, the, beginning., Yeah. Yeah. I, don't, know., That, sort, of, reminds, me, of the, original, series., I, don't, know if anybody's into that, but I kind of am. I'm old. Kind of.

Oh, my, gosh., Yeah. The, original, series, of, Star, Trek,, Jacob. Yeah,, that, one.

You, know,, Captain, Kirk, and, his, women, and the ymen and Yeah. Never, heard, of, it., I, don't

I, love, it, because, it's, like, I, don't, mean this weird like, "Oh my god, please don't comfort me." I I can like kind of fall asleep to it in a good way, like in a comforting way. You know what I mean? I don't

fall, things, unless, I, want, to, fall, asleep to it and it means it's good. Like I don't know even history like YouTube videos I'm like oh yes Katherine of Par Katherine Paris is

and, you, know, meeting, the, cast, of, the original series is quite fun too like, they, say, the, mathist, right, not everyone gets a chance to meet their heroes. Uh

well, I have a list. I'll, confess, it, later, though., Anybody wants to know the list up there

William, Shatner, is, on, William, Shatner, is on the list. I will confirm and so is George

and and, Walter, Kig. Those, are, of, value. The premise of this show, of course, is that the the aliens, the theians, you know, had no concept of the difference between the historical documents and a television show. You know, that the telling of lies for entertainment was a concept that was so foreign to them. And that's that this movie kind of hinges on that as a lynch pin. Um

you, know,, as, far, as, making, the, story work. Um, I, think, so,, too., I, think, that's, a, if, you were to speak of themes like that theme is is major and the plot um I hope we pulled off to the audience that that happens but I think we did but I yeah that's, one, of my, favorite, things, as, well is like it's almost a play within a play but not really because it is but it is for these aliens these people they like look up to this show and really think it's real and I think that's so fun. I I I I can't even think of another movie that does that as well as Galaxy Quest if I really think about it.

I, wouldn't, say, as, well,, but, this, is, made in 1999. 10 years later, the Ricky Jerice movie, The Invention of Lying.

Oh, my, god., Okay,, you, got, me, there. Oh,, I, just, I'm, not, Yeah. No,, Ricky, is, one, of, like, I, don't, know., I love him and I love his movies and he usually like writes and directs it, but Yeah. Yeah. Go ahead. Yeah, I think he wrote and direct. Good. I think it makes it so sweet though, the fact that you can get to be an adult and not really understand lying. You know, it was just it was the emotions of of the the aliens mouth especially portray was they were so it was so innocent, you know, when every time he was sad, he was really truly sad and every time he was happy, he was like so happy and it was just raw emotion the whole time through. you know, when he was proud and he was anxious and, you know, all these things, but he was never deceitful. You know, he's just so honest and bright and it's something we don't as adults we don't see in other adults very often and that makes it, you know

such a uh I don't know, it just hits right here. Well, said., I, was, going, to, type, in, the chat. Well said.

Yeah., Yeah., If, you, watch, that, scene, like it's Yeah. very emotional even, um, uh, oh, my, god, quer, the, qu, the, why can't I think of his name

quin that actor was funny he was like talk to that you know he was like so like I was like you're so sweet

we, don't, want, to we, don't, want, to, specify, it, but, like that whole thing that they're working through the movie pays off so well at the end

like, as, well it, starts, though, with, Matthazar, like mouth star. He's like the kind. He's like, "Come. Oh, we've got you." And you do that so brilliantly, by the way, cat. It was insane. That was so good.

But, yeah,, I, love, the, aliens, in, this. They're sweet. Yeah. And also, we think of aliens as like scary and they're the dark ones. And of course, in Star Trek and stuff, you have the evil aliens from different planets, but they're so cute.

Oh,, not, all, aliens, in, Star, Trek, are evil. That tells me that's, kind, of a, thing,, right?, Yeah. But this one, they're sweet. They're like, "We just believe in you." Uh-huh.

I'm, looking, forward, to, reading, part, two. I haven't actually read through the script really for part two. I just kind of like glanced at it and divided it into sections, but haven't had a chance to go through and look and see how it differs from part from the movie. that um it should still be quite fun to do

indeed. Perfectly. Part two is great. I actually quite can't remember. Wow. I'm, not, going, to, give, you, any, hints.

No, I'm too Come, back, next, week, for, the, final episode of And then Never Do It Again like the movie 13. Uh uh uh cat presses a red button and the whole group is done. Notices part two.

I, hope, that, never happens. No more. Well,, you, know, the, Zoom, window, does, have this little red button on the bottom that says end. Okay. I could do that and we could all go poof.

We're, tired., We're, tired., We, should, we should do it proper. But, we, should, do, it, properly., Yes. We should just say a nice pleasant good night and some of us need to get dinner. I know. So

yes. But, do, stay, in, touch., Good, things, are coming. Great, things, are, coming.

And, we'll, catch, you, out, in, YouTube, land hopefully next week as well. So, for our conclusion episode.

All, right., Have, a, good, night, you, all. Bye. Bye. Good, night., Have, fun, storming, the castle.

Yeah., Take, care., Byebye. Inconceivable. You, keep, saying, that, word., I, do, I, don't think that word means what you think it means.

Oh, my, god. Love you all. Princess

Questions about this episode

Who speaks in "Galaxy Quest--First Half 07/29/25"?

Cat Wilson (Host), Jacob Patrick (Guest), Heather Lee Cameron (Guest), Vicky Dykes (Host), Haley Elizabeth Byermeister (Guest), Guy (Master of Ceremonies at the convention / Crewman #6) (Guest).

What is "Galaxy Quest--First Half 07/29/25" about?

This live Table Read Tuesday features a passionate cast performing a cold reading of the beloved film "Galaxy Quest," introducing themselves and their roles while emphasizing their enthusiasm for the script. The session includes multiple actors filling various characters, showcasing their excitement for the project and engaging with the YouTube audience.

What is mentioned in this Table Read Tuesdays episode?

222 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Rage of the Republic, Galaxy Quest, Jason Nesmith, NCC Protector / NA Protector, Omega 13, Gwen DeMarco. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "Galaxy Quest--First Half 07/29/25"?

The episode runs 2 h 15 min; the transcript is about 18,783 words in 487 timestamped sections.

More from Table Read Tuesdays

About this transcript: the episode's spoken words as captioned on YouTube, split into timestamped sections. Reclip.Me locates every person, work and idea in the text, keeps the time it is first named, and quotes the words around it verbatim. Last updated February 24, 2026.