SPACEBALLS (2nd half)--Table Read Tuesdays

What this episode is about

The content features a lively table read of the second half of "Spaceballs," showcasing a diverse group of performers who introduce themselves, their characters, and their social media presence, creating an engaging and collaborative atmosphere. The session involves character portrayals and interactions reflecting the comedic elements of the cult classic film.

Key takeaways

• Space Balls: Proof that parody can be as engaging as the films it mocks, offering layers of comedy.
• From Yoga to Dark Helmet — a reminder that talent can be found in the most unexpected cast members.
• Live streaming a script reading: where technical failures become part of the performance, turning glitches into giggles.
• Acting roles reassigned last minute: a fun chaos that mirrors the unpredictable plots of beloved comedies.
• Dinks are the unsung heroes of Space Balls, reminding us that even small characters can make a huge impact!

Who speaks in this episode?

• Cat Wilson (Host) · 41 min speaking
• Vicki Dykes (Guest) · 20 min speaking
• Aubrey McCoy (Guest) · 20 min speaking
• Tori Estus (Guest) · 20 min speaking
• Kyle (Guest) · 20 min speaking

What is discussed, and when

1. 0:00 – 15:00: Dark Helmet, Lone Star, Princess Vespa, Jerry "the delicious dish" Roland
2. 15:00 – 30:00: Lone Star, Dark Helmet, Princess Vespa, Jerry "the delicious dish" Roland
3. 30:00 – 45:00: Lone Star, Pizza The Hut, Eagle 5, Jerry "the delicious dish" Roland
4. 45:00 – 1:00:00: Lone Star, Dark Helmet, Eagle 5, Princess Vespa
5. 1:00:00 – 1:15:00: Lone Star, Eagle 5, Jerry "the delicious dish" Roland, Druidia
6. 1:15:00 – 1:30:00: Lone Star, Dark Helmet, Eagle 5, Jerry "the delicious dish" Roland
7. 1:30:00 – 1:45:00: Lone Star, Dark Helmet, Eagle 5, Princess Vespa
8. 1:45:00 – 2:00:00: Princess Vespa, Lone Star, Jerry "the delicious dish" Roland, Dark Helmet
9. 2:00:00 – 2:15:00: Jerry "the delicious dish" Roland, Pizza The Hut

Notable quotes from "SPACEBALLS (2nd half)--Table Read Tuesdays"

• To our reading of Space Balls record we are all right so welcome to our reading of base balls at least the second half of it or roughly the second half of it we did it partly last week but it was too long to fit into one so.

  about Spaceballs · at 0:19

• Canada and tonight I am the princess oh I'm not taught anymore am I didn't scratch that out I am King Roland I am doing actions and descriptions and the guard barf bartender and bearded lady awesome and where can folks find.

  about Jerry "the delicious dish" Roland · at 1:24

• My enemies collapsed and defenseless Sanders prepare to land and pick up the prisoners yes sir Lone Star at last his capture is imident IM intim soon he'll be ours exterior desert day our four her heroes are still unconscious music tells.

  about Lone Star · at 7:08

• Dink you cut to a closeup of the princess a pair of dinks are giving water to her oh thank you dink got to a close-up of barf he's drinking greedily from a canteen held by a dink and we cut to a close-up of dot.

  about Princess Vespa · at 9:02

• Scary silence they all freeze Who Dares enter the sacred and awesome presence of the Everlasting know it all our lasting know it all can't be he's been dead for a thousand years who.

  about Dark Helmet · at 12:40

• Meet again in Space Balls too exterior Starfield close shot of a planet from it rises a spaceship it is Eagle 5 camera moves towards it dissolve through to interior Eagle 5…

  about Eagle 5 · at 30:43

• Thought was a Hut was really the back of a huge swivel chair Throne upon it sits Pizza The Hut revealed in all his gross and cheesy Glory he is in fact a living mountain of…

  about Pizza The Hut · at 40:20

• Not got to reverse angle over the shoulder shot through windscreen Eagle 5 enters the dark hole of Mega maid's ear the wind screen goes black dim lights activate infrared…

  about Mega Maid · at 1:17:10

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

• Lone Star — Person · Fictional character being performed (protagonist) · 66 mentions · first at 7:13
  Main hero; learns to use the Schwartz, rescues Vespa, triggers Mega Maid self-destruct, and ultimately marries Vespa after learning he’s a prince.
• Dark Helmet — Person · Fictional character being performed (antagonist) · 34 mentions · first at 3:11
  Central villain in the live script reading; drives major plot beats (capture of Vespa, Mega Maid, confrontation with Lone Star).
• Princess Vespa — Person · Fictional character being performed (female lead) · 13 mentions · first at 9:06
  Primary hostage/rescue target and romantic lead; her capture and wedding decision anchor the episode’s second-half plot.
• Jerry "the delicious dish" Roland — Person · Fictional character being performed (Druidian monarch) · 15 mentions · first at 1:33
  Vespa’s father; coerced into giving the air-shield combination and later presides over the wedding and honors Lone Star/Barf.
• Pizza The Hut — Person · Fictional character being performed (crime boss antagonist) · 4 mentions · first at 3:16
  Threatens Lone Star and Barf with “death by pizza”; his defeat enables the heroes to continue the rescue mission.
• Rodney Strangerfield — Person · Fictional character being performed (stage comedian parody) · 2 mentions
  Performs a Dangerfield-style set at Pizza’s Palace; provides a comedic interlude before the Pizza the Hutt sequence.
• Tori Estus — Person · Reader/performer (participant in live reading) · 1 mention · first at 2:53
  Plays Dark Helmet and multiple other roles; a primary voice for major antagonist scenes in this half of the script.
  And actress there we go that's cool all right T hello my name is Tori Estus I'm in Rock Hill South Carolina my pronouns are she her and social media wise you can find me on Tik Tok at lorri pacus l o r i p a y SES and I will be reading for.
• Katherine Devony — Person · Host/organizer (session host and reader) · 1 mention · first at 4:55
  Hosts the live reading, manages casting, and reads multiple parts (including Yogurt and loudspeaker/announcer roles).
  Take it okay all right oh and on social media you can find me Katherine devony def fox fire Wilson and what I'm not reading here to with a table Tuesdays and you can find me…

Products & tech

• Eagle 5 — Product · Key vehicle · 23 mentions · first at 30:51
  The spaceship used by the protagonists to travel and escape from enemies.
• Mega Maid — Product · Antagonist's weapon · 5 mentions · first at 1:17:16
  A transformed spaceship used by the antagonists to vacuum the air from a planet.

Places & events

• Druidia — Place · Key setting · 3 mentions · first at 48:36
  A planet targeted by the antagonists for its air, home to the princess and her father.
  Slant on the screen and slowly recede in triangular fashion into the distance breaking their word the Space Balls leave Princess Vespa imprisoned whilst they proceed toward…

Media & podcasts

• Spaceballs — Media · Core topic · 1 mention · first at 28:30
  The main subject of the podcast episode, a reading of the second half of the movie script.

Full transcript with timestamps

0:03 there we go think I see it now recording Live on YouTube I think yes right now we're live awesome and we'll go ahead then and start recording here also and welcome folks over to our reading of Space Balls record we are all right so welcome to our reading of base balls at least the second half of it or roughly the second half of it we did it partly last week but it was too long to fit into one so we'll have a slightly different cast of characters we had to do a little bit of last minute rearranging we may have another character another reader join in hopefully uh later this evening but we're starting off with five despite the blinking red screen there we do have five of us here um and we're going to go ahead production so um if you could tell us uh your name your pronouns and where you live and then also what characters you are playing this evening and uh where people can find you on social media um I'll

1:13 just go a and start with Vicki hello I'm Vicky Dykes I'm she her I'm in penhold Alberta Canada and tonight I am the princess oh I'm not taught anymore am I I didn't scratch that out I am King Roland I am doing actions and descriptions um and the guard barf bartender and bearded lady awesome and where can folks find you on social media oh um I'm on YouTube I'm a yoga grma not YouTube sorry sorry Instagram yoga grma 10 and on Facebook under the name Vicky dyes awesome we go on to Aubrey next hi all my name is Aubrey McCoy I am in Northern California in the Bay Area just above the Bay Area uh my pronouns are fabulous and uh yeah I am you can find me on YouTube you can find me um on spot or Spotify or any streaming music platforms that there are uh you can go on to my Instagram which is @ luthian theair and I have a link to the Spotify but you can find me pretty much anywhere Apple music whatever I

2:46 have an album on there uh I'm a singer and actress there we go that's cool all right T hello my name is Tori Estus I'm in Rock Hill South Carolina my pronouns are she her and uh social media wise you can find me on Tik Tok at lorri pacus l o r i p a y SES and I will be reading for dark helmet and a um a large smattering of others including like Prince Valium Pizza The Hut waitress all that all that fun stuff awesome and Kyle hi I'm Kyle and tonight I'll be playing the part of the dinks the radar technician Vinnie waitress number three Rodney stranger field president scr the best character and the minister awesome my pronouns are that [ __ ] and you can find me on Instagram over there I'm just done right now my name is cat Wilson pardon the pardon the glasses look here my pronouns is she her I am in Gig haror Washington and your host for this evening um and I'm not actually sure what parts I'm playing because we

4:15 just recast but um let me take a quick little look here I am filling in for abar who hopefully join us later um so Sanders a yogurt loudspeaker the Mater D MC the ominous voice of the captain voice over and a variety of actions and descriptions as well as uh waitress number one and Dot um speaking which um Tori or Vicki would either one of you want to do actions in descriptions at the start I could take it I don't mind I take it okay all right um oh and on social media you can find me uh Katherine devony def fox fire Wilson and what I'm not reading here to with a table Tuesdays and you can find me with two households in Fair Corona a Shakespeare reading group so on Saturdays certain Saturdays anyways we're going to go ahead and start share our screen and we're going to start on page 64 is so let me see if I might have it up on the right page yep 64 and we're going to start down here where it says

5:22 cut to exterior Skies baseball one so we've left off with our heroes on a desert planet um having been stranded after uh trying to escape from Dark Helmet and his cronies so go ahead and take it away is that large enough screen I'm sorry didn't you make it larger I'm good does anybody else need it larger good you want it larger is that okay I can do one more up I forgot to write down all my characters I characters yeah I forgot to say them too it's okay we I'm only playing the one the one that you know is important really is just blone stuff so no I'm kidding well if no one else is speaking it's probably your line Aubrey got the be like man the pumpkin headed wife yeah I'm seeing that right now I'm looking at all the just real quick yeah so don't mind me and some action descriptions I'll try and you guys when action one and a two that's funny not working Sor we're having some technical diffic to

6:34 start with this evening so should be working but it's not that there we go that's a little bit better all right when you're ready Tori sorry about that all right put two exterior sky space ball one is approaching in the distance and then we cut to the interior of space ball one Bridge area picking up life forms in Vector 78 sir three humans and a Droid alive but unconscious ah good just the way I like my enemies collapsed and defenseless Sanders prepare to land and pick up the prisoners yes sir Lone Star at last his capture is imident IM IM intim soon he'll be ours exterior desert day our four her heroes are still unconscious music tells us Doom is imident imate intimate soon sound strange scratching coming from below the sand camera widens to reveal source of sound from out of the sand appear two little paw-like hands scratching away then up Pops a little fuzzy head wearing a sand colored Hood

7:51 it is a dink a dink is a lovable little creature with a vocabulary of one word dink dink sees Our Heroes dink instantly in quick succession five other little heads pop out of the sand they all say in Rapid succession the word Dink all the dinks emerge from the sand they're about three feet high and wear cord tied robes and sandals they look like Minature benedic monks they examine our unconscious Heroes and are obviously concerned they chatter excitedly amongst themselves dink dink D dink dink dink dink dink dink dink dink dink number one who is obviously the leader holds up his arms and stops them he then gestures to the others as though giving orders dink dink dink dink dink dink the dink surround Our Heroes and we cut to a closeup of Lone Star one of the dinks is giving him water from a canteen lone star's eyes open and he drinks gratefully thank you where am I dis land

9:00 dink dink dink dink you cut to a closeup of the princess a pair of dinks are giving water to her oh thank you thank you dink dink dink got to a close-up of barf he's drinking greedily from a canteen held by a dink and we cut to a close-up of dot one of the dinks shoves a funnel into a court into a court can which reads Droid oil 1200 the sound dink the second dink lifts the can and tilts the nozzle into her mouth we hear the thick Rich glug glug glug of the oil going down her throat the screen flips to the exterior desert later that day our heroes led by the dinks trudge through the desert towards a large Dune large Dune the dinks are all saying dink dink dink number one turns to the other dinks and Barks out a series of orders four of the dinks run ahead to the Dune brush the sand away from the face of it raling two large hidden doors on which on each of which is a mysterious symbol the door

10:06 magically opens exposing the top of a stone staircase the dinks indicate that they should enter wait a minute why are we following these strange characters off stage and in the distance dark helmet's Voice resounds through the bullhorn now hear this fan out search everywhere find them comb the desert do you hear me comb the desert let's take about about all those in favor of going with these little guys raise your hand and say I they all raise their hands I I and start into the open Dunes after the dinks just before she enters the princess lowers her arm and we cut to inserve princess's wrist a shiny gold bracelet Falls from her wrist into the sand back to the scene where our heroes are all inside the door closes behind them a Cascade of sand tumbles down and completely conceals the entrance cut to the interior Cavern afternoon day our heroes and the dinks come down the last few steps into a stone floored anti-

11:13 room where are we why don't we ask them the dinks gestured towards a Gothic Archway then to Our Heroes indicating that they should follow them through it dink dink I would back funny feeling no matter what we ask them the answer is going to be dink cut to the interior Cavern Temple room day the dinks and our heroes have entered a huge pillared Cavern it looks like a cross between the Temple of Doom and the Temple Beth Israel as the cavern gradually becomes bathed in light we see steps revealed at the far end they lead to an altar upon which sits a 20 foot high buddha-like statue with gleaming Ruby eyes and smoke coming out of its mou nostrils and its huge pointed ears it has a forbidding look the music is ominous and smoke gets gets in your nostrils the dinks have separated into two groups of four each and are standing re reverently on either side of the altar dink one once again beckons Our

12:17 Heroes to come forward they Edge closer to the Statue now what's going to happen don't ask and maybe it won't suddenly the statue breathes like a dragon barf barks at once the voice of the statue booms forth the effect is impressive and scary silence they all freeze Who Dares enter the sacred and awesome presence of the Everlasting know it all our lasting know it all can't be he's been dead for a thousand years who yogurt smoke billows forth from the various parts of the temple loud sound effects come from everywhere yogurt at that moment a little hidden door in the belly of the Buddha opens standing there is a cute three- foot high little man he is a benign version of the fearful statue his name is yogurt you heard of me heard of you who hasn't heard of yogurt yogurt the wise yogurt the all Powerful Yogurt the Magnificent please please please I'm just plain yogurt weren't you in weren't you the

13:42 leader of the redey knights and the possessor of the force nah nah that was Alec Guinness I am the keeper of a greater magic a power known throughout the universe as music Sting the Schwartz he extends his right hand revealing a silver ring on his middle finger for a moment a dazzlingly bright silver light suffuses the ring the Schwarz don't be afraid the Schwarz is the service of the pure and the Brave and the good and the cute May the Schwarz be with you thank you sir the dinks who have gathered around yogurt began chattering excitingly and tugging at his sleeve oh oh where are my manners I forgot to introduce my dinks I couldn't live without them they work for scale they're called winky dinky pinky stinky and winky as his name is spoken winky gives a wink well thank you all so much for saving us dink dink dink dink what do you mean it was nothing hey I'm beginning to think can dink yogurt

15:01 there's something I don't understand Captain what is this place why are you here why am I here why are they here why are we all here in a word merchandising huh what that movie is nothing anymore the real monies and the record albums the video cassettes lunchboxes sheets tows toilet paper and the ultimate humiliation action figures from behind him he picks up a bunch of action figures of our heroes and yogurt in see-through display packs Lone Star barf dot princess vesa me let's face it Toys are Us the exterior desert day the Troopers are in the holding a giant black Ace comb and pulling it through the sand we cut to another part of the desert Dark Helmet and Sanders stand a top of Doom Sanders is looking through binoculars Dark Helmet Shades his eyes from the Sun sir what is it Sanders puts down his binoculars and turns to Dark Helmet are we being too literal no you fool keep combing keep

16:25 combing we cut to the interior Cavern close up lone star's fingers clasping The Medallion night it's a mystery now the wise men could tell me what this is or what it means camera pulls back to reveal yogurt standing beside lonar who literally Towers over him the huge Buddha is right behind them wise men what do they know they're all a bunch of dummies let me give it a shot in order to get a better look at it yogurt stands up to Lone Star stands up and to Lone Star surprise reveals that until now he's been walking around on his knees his little green shoes turn out to be attached to his legs with rubber bands his full length robe is now knee length revealing his bare legs little white ankle socks and worn velvet bedroom slippers oh what a pleasure to stand up it's hard to work on your knees at my age kilger looks at The Medallion oh no wonder they couldn't figure it out it's written in the oldest

17:27 language known to man what's that pig latin can you read it s a what does it say I can't tell you why it's too early in the picture be patient Lone Star is noticeably disappointed now concentrate and try again lonar steps back a few feet he raises his right hand and we see that on his middle finger he is now wearing yogurt silver ring okay but I still don't see how I can lift that big statue with this little ring never underestimate the power of the Schwarz Lone Star points his ringed finger towards the giant statue closes his eyes and concentrates with all his might the music the uplifting theme of the Schwarz and the sound of heavy shifting Stone the ring begins to glow and lo and behold the statue starts to run eyes look Lone Star you're doing it can't believe it the power of the Schwarz it's working higher Lone Star lifted higher music climbing gloriously higher Lone Star is concentrating with all his

18:47 might as the statue continues to slowly rise higher higher barf comes bursting in hey boss son bf's mouth drops open as he sees the statue poised in midair the mood is broken the Music Stops the statue crashes to the ground falling on yogurt's foot crash boy is oh wow ouch Lone Star and barf rush over to yogurt oh my gosh I'm sorry it fell right on your foot are you all right don't ask foolish questions get that foot off my foot come on in three lift one two three off Lone Star and barf lift with all their might the statue doesn't budge an inch use the Schwarz Lone Star use the Schwarz stand back he points the ring at the Statue and concentrates with all his might the ring glows the Schwarz theme begins once again we hear the scraping of stone as the statue leaves the ground yogurt pulls his foot out the Music Stops and the statue falls again rash o that's better that's better that's better off stage we hear the dinks

20:06 singing They enter Wheeling a four tiered cake enormous enough to accommodate more light lighted candles than have ever been seen on a birthday cake they number in the thousands as they wheel it in they're singing happy birthday to you in dink dink dink dink dink dink dink dink dink dink dink dink dink oh I forgot it's my birthday those little sweethearts remembered they put the cake in front of yogurt boy there that's a lot of candles how old are you I'm 85 142 ding ding ding ding ding ding yeah yeah make a wish my wish I have enough breath to blow out these candles here we go yogurt draws a gigantic breath and in one long exhalation starts blowing out the candles the dink slowly turn the cake which is on a lazy Susan to help yogurt reach all the candles yogurt blows and blows and blows as hundreds and then thousands of candles go out his face changes slowly from green to Red to purple his eyes began to bulge

21:18 alarmingly finally on the top tier of the cake there is one candle still lit yogurt leans forward and with his last gasp blows it out everyone cheers an Applause and yogurt head first into the cake sinking in up to his shoulders oops we cut to the exterior desert night day for Night Dark Helmet and Sanders are standing on the Dune upon which we last saw them and we switch narrators to Kyle

21:53 here so Kyle do you want to pick up the narration here oh where where I just read sorry the exterior yeah isn't it Sanders next yeah go start from where I started the okay yeah sorry Dark Helmet and Sanders are standing on the Dune upon which we last saw them there's no sign of them sir we've left no stone unturned [ __ ] what about this one Dark Helmet takes two steps and turns over a nearby Stone underneath it we see the golden bracelet the princess dropped he picks it up see a bracelet he holds it up and reads the inscription to princess vesa from King Daddy happy perim they've got to be somewhere nearby but we've searched every inch of the wait faint reprise of the theme of the Schwarz I feel the presence of the Schwarz the Schwarz it's coming from Dark Helmet turns and points to the where the sand covered doors are down there Sanders takes a few steps to where Dark Helmet as indicated he clears the sandway

23:08 revealing the doors on each door we see a circle with a Y in it you're right sir there's a secret entrance here yogurt The Heading yogurt I'll call for the attack Squad sir no we can't go in there yogurt has the Schwarz but don't you have this Schwarz too yes but he got the upside I got the downside then how are we going to go in and get her Dark Helmet takes out his ring and places it on his right middle finger Sanders discreetly folds his hands over his crotch maybe we don't have to go in there maybe she'll come to us Sanders looks at him puzzled music ominous and internal Cavern bed chamber night do is standing in a corner with her sleep mode sign blinking camera drifts over to the princess she is fast asleep in bed from offstage in the distance the voice of King Roland calls oh best my child where are you the princess blinks Wide Awake daddy Thea it's your father King Roland Oh Come to Me Daddy I hear you I hear

24:33 you where are you follow my voice come to me come to me the princess gets up and begins to follow his voice she opens the door and leaves the room Dot's sleep mode sign goes off as her alarm buzzer sounds her eyes open like the headlights on a data she looks around and sees the princesses missing cut to exterior desert night King Roland in all his Royal Splendor is standing in the Moonlight a few yards away from the door we hear a bolt being slid back the doors open and the princess steps out into the desert she sees her father standing there and can't believe her eyes Daddy it's really you come to me she runs towards him another angle Cavern doorway do arrives in the doorway she stops and her eyes widen in horror Catu insert on dot side are two buttons labeled normal vision and super Vision she presses the supervision button medium shot dot in the doorway her eyes suddenly glow with an infrared light Dot's point of view

25:49 camera zooms into tight shot King Rolland he is transparent and inside of him we see the menacing figure of Dark Helmet medium shot dot in doorway no vesa no back to scene too late the princess flings herself into King Roland's open arms and he instantly turns into Dark Helmet fool you the princess screams and faints in dark helmet's arms he pulls open his visor and looks at her ample bosom things are looking up medium shot dot in the doorway she starts to run toward the princess and Dark Helmet take your hands off her you short pervert before I a Spaceball Trooper rushes out of the darkness and into frame behind dot he opens a compartment in her back and Yanks out her battery pack she instantly freezes in her last position he picks her up and carries her off under his arm as doc goes by Dark Helmet he jeers at her you're not such a big shot now with your batteries not included take them

27:03 aboard screen flips too interior Spaceball Cruiser Bridge attention please at 2100 hours there will be a victory dinner dance in the main Ballroom to celebrate the capture of Princess Vespa the topless belly dances from planet Hala will perform Dark Helmet is pouring two glasses of champagne as Sanders enters the princess and her Droid are locked in her cell sir mission accomplished we're ready to depart very good he hands Sanders a glass of champagne and takes the other one himself this calls for a toast to survival of the fittest as they clink glasses dark helmet's visor falls down over his face he's already started to toss back his champagne the glass hits his closed V splashing champagne all over it Dark Helmet slowly lifts the visor his face is dripping with New York State champagne Sanders yes sir get me a paper towel exterior desert night Lone Star barf yogurt and the dinks rush out the

28:19 open door of yogurt's Cavern we hear the OS sound of the Spaceball Cruisers powerful engines taking off oh Spaceballs Bar's point of view Spaceball Cruiser it blasts off into the night sky they got her back to S we've got to go after them I'll get you to your Winnebago how you got wheels no no wheels but I got everything else cut to exterior desert closeup yogurt through a car windshield day he is peering over the steering wheel at the road ahead camera pulls back to reveal that yogurt is driving a white fin tailed 58 caddy convertible the top is down and yogurt is at the wheel Lone Star and barf sit next to him all the dinks are crowded into the back seat music the Boswell sisters singing there will be some changes made is blasting from the radio camer continues to pull back and we see that instead of Wheels the Cadillac is traveling on a cushion of air and a few feet above the ground yogurt makes a

29:33 hard right then left turn around a boulder ow I should have got power steering they arrive with a screeching halt right in front of the Winnebago sitting just as they left it exterior desert day using a funnel barf has just finished pouring a can of gasoline into the wineo he hands the empty can to one of the dinks who passes it to the other dinks in fire brigade fashion until it reaches the last dink who throws it into the open trunk of the Cadillac the dink next to him climbs on his shoulders and shuts the trunk oh Gast up ready to go thank you yogurt you're welcome and here he reaches into his pocket and takes something out just in case you get hungry he tosses the something to Lone Star who catches said a fortune cookie thanks well time to go goodbye and good luck bye yogurt will we ever see you again who knows God willing we'll all meet again in Space Balls too exterior Starfield close shot of a planet from it

30:51 rises a spaceship it is Eagle 5 camera moves towards it dissolve through to interior Eagle 5 cockpit all right set course for planet for p Planet space ball can you stop somewhere for a quick bite of anything oh I'm starving after we rescue the princess but I need something now a burger and some fries how about a pizza good idea who said that a a laser pistol enters frame and rests against the nape of Lone star's neck at the same time another laser pistol enters frame and rests against barf neck Vinnie comes into frame behind lonar and barf music Godfather 2 Vinnie Vinnie set a course for Vega Mr Hut request the pleasure of your company cut to exterior moons of Vega day we see Vegas type sign against the night sky the moons of Vegas's number one Club pizza's Palace now appearing Rodney stranger field coming next week Sammy Davis junor junior junior junior junior junior junior junior junior

32:20 junior junior junior junior junior junor cut to Interior pizza's Palace Lounge music topless the lounge is filled with an assortment of very strange creatures a penguines m Metro stands guard over a Velvet Rope that blocks the entrance a handsome Beetle like couple enters and approaches the matro they wear large black semicircular discs on their back good evening sorry is that someone else I thought that was me it says mat on my thing okay that's all right you could take it go ahead I think you got the next one good evening may I get to a table no thank you just some chairs we are a table the beike couple bends over forms a table and moves into the room here some chairs Lone Star and barf are ushered in by Vinnie who has a laser pistol pointed at them through his jacket pocket Vinnie gws to the m who opens the Rope immediately Vinny pushes lonar and barf along indicating a small Booth against the rear wall he

33:37 notices he he motions for them to sit they do immediately steel bars clamp around their ankles with resounding clicks wait here please if you insist enjoy yourselves inform Mr Hut of your presence here continued Vinnie leaves a beautiful waitress Glides past with a tray of four strange drinks that smoke and bubble she is Las Vegas gorgeous strangely two petite antenna growing out of her forehead and as she passes by lonar and barf look at each other quizzically cut to Lone Star and Bar's point of view we now see that the strange waitress is really half woman half half snail she slithers over to the adjoining table at which are seated two pumpkin headed creatures the female is wearing rhinestone beded Harlequin glasses and the male Sports a short bushy mustache as he sees the gorgeous waitress his eyes begin to pop and when she leans over to serve the drinks his eyes l literally pop out of his head and

35:00 supported by two metallic rods position themselves above and stare lewdly down into a ravishing cavish his wife blows her top and chews him out in outer space pumpkin his eyes immediately fly back into their sockets with the resounding flock as the waitress continues on she passes a table at which her seated two arvar like space creatures out on a date they're holding fancy M Tha type drinks replete with pineapple cherry and a little paper parasol they clink my ties then they drop their snouts into the glasses and inhale in the drinks in one vulgar snort SN cut to a small service bar the waitress comes up to it there's another attractive snail waitress standing there reading from a pad and behind the bar a multi-armed octopus bartender is mixing a number of drinks a third waitress slitherers up to the bar and they all begin giving their orders at once overlapping dialogue two folder rolls with a Twist one low blady no

36:17 Cherry four Frozen d fres one hick dick duck hey give me a break I only got eight and and now the Pizza Palace is proud to present our star attraction that wacky alien who gets no respect Mr Rodney stranger field we hear a cacophony of Applause whistles snorts shrieks slarks burbles and gorks cut to angle the stage out comes Rodney stranger field a green man who looks not unlike Rodney Dangerfield he's wearing a space version of a lounge Comics tuxedo thank you thank you thank you I think what a crowd I'll tell you it's a pleasure to finally work in a room where I'm the best looking guy and from the audience we hear a series of very rude sounds I don't know whether to whether you hate my act or you can't find the bathroom no respect I swear I get no respect he does a head jerk and a collar pull wherever I go I went to s and stayed at the Sands not the hotel the whole place there's no water there they

37:32 serve me a drink in an hourglass the drummer generously gives him a couple of Rim shots suddenly a huge halfman half fly with a bulbous red nose flies into frame he buzzes loudly right past Rodney C you close up the bar and lands at the bar and back to the scene hey I'm trying to do my ACT get that Barfly out of here cut to closeup of the bar with his eight arms the bartender grabs a fly throws him out and from off stage we hear a loud drunken buzz and crash back to scene I get no respect no respect another head jerk and collar pull couple weeks ago I went to Venus god lucky met a beautiful Venetian made love night and day night and day night and day I hope it was a girl after that I went to Pluto he bit me no respect big laugh in the audience cut you close up lonar and barf barf turns to lonar whoa I never thought I'd say this but I can't wait for Pizza The Hut to kill us from offstage comes

38:46 Vinny's voice you just got your wish Vinnie comes into frame follow me he pushes the button and the clamps open Lone Star barf exchange a look uhoh cut two interior Pizza of the Huts underground headquarters night angle on large stainless steel pizza-shaped door a triangular wedge of stainless steel door drops into it with a clang Lone Star and barfer herded through the opening by Vinnie he wields a laser pistol as they enter I'm here as they make their way into the room the wedg like door automatically closes back up into the rest of the pizza of clang lonar and bar barf react to the claim over there lonar and barf obediently walk over to the center of the room and wait they're standing on a red carpet that leads up steps in front of them to what appears to be the back of a primitive straw Hut wait here I'll tell Mr Hut you he Vinnie marches up a small platform and addresses the Hut there here

40:06 Pizza music The Godfather 3 slowly the Hut begins to revolve to face a room as it does the lights come up camera moves in slowly and we see that what we thought was a Hut was really the back of a huge swivel chair Throne upon it sits Pizza The Hut revealed in all his gross and cheesy Glory he is in fact a living mountain of pizza he beckons for Lone Star and barf to come closer my God he's a living Pizza yeah he looks delicious now what do we have on the agenda oh yes I see my old friend Lone Star and his sidekick puke oh that's barf barf puke whatever Lone Star I look at you when I ask myself what has happened to our relationship I Gave You Love I Gave You friendship but more important I gave you money but but too late now it is my painful duty to sentence you to your sentence death by Pizza Vinnie the extra thick crust suddenly hidden doors in the wall burst open and riding out on a conveyor belt

41:34 we see an enormous pizza pie plate on it is a 15 foot in diameter Chicago style pizza with everything on it ready to be cooked behind it were the redh hot flames of a pizza oven it stops directly beneath pizza and and Hut's Throne Lone Star and and Bar's eyes widen in horror what the hell is that that my late friends is going to be pizza with everything on it mainly you okay let's get it over with two to go right boss he points his laser pistol directly at lonar and barf okay boy get in and don't try nothing funny like pulling the rug out from under Mr Hut Lone Star flick at each other we can almost see the light bulbs going off over their heads they exchange nods bend down and make believe they're entering the pizza is this not Poetic Justice two dead beats ending their lives by Rolling in now Lone Star barf grabed the rug and yank it at exact same time Mario so what's happening the quick

42:57 shift of the rug topples pizza's throne and sends him belly flopping into the enormous Pizza below plop the doors swing open again and the conveyor belt starts to bring the pizza back towards the Flames Vinnie help Vinnie leans down to save his boss at revealing his secret on and off button on the back of his neck barf picks up the heavy throne and raises it in the air aiming at at Vinnie's head lonar quiet quietly upstage his barf by casually flicking off the power switch he's noticed in the back of Vinnie's neck now Vinnie immediately freezes unable to help his boss and pizza continues on his conveyor belt Journey towards the hot flames within the open doors somebody stop this thing help me help me my mozzarella is melting another angle Lone Star and barf they turn away from pizza I've always admired people who throw themselves into their work me too come on hurry up we've got to get back to the five and off this

44:13 planet they start to run out cut two two the exterior Baseball City day the camera moves into the biggest of the ping pong like buildings it isol to the interior of President scr's office day close up on the telescreen we seeing we see King Roland on the screen all right scro what is it you want we want the combination to your air shield no daddy no don't tell them the camera pulls back further to include the princess she has chained the wall manacled hands above her head oh they'll take all their air and everybody will die don't be ridiculous do you think think we're monsters we'll only take what we need you won't even notice it's gone oh dear I don't know what to do I don't know what to do maybe this will help you decide that to a new angle the camera pulls back even further to reveal Dark Helmet at a fireplace filled with hot glowing Enders the music Prelude of threatening cords Dark Helmet pulls out a glowing hot iron

45:25 out of the Embers he starts toward the princess holding it menacingly close to her face the combination or else oh no daddy no don't tell them no matter what she faints Dark Helmet continues toward her The Branding Iron only an inch from her face wait cut to a close booking Roland stop don't I'll give you the combination back the scene Dark Helmet takes the iron a few inches away from the princess's face but still holds it threateningly close we cut to a closeup OBS screw he has a pencil poised over a stopad ready to write yes the combination is one one two two three three four four five five one two three four five that's it I got a more complicated combination my luggage close with the telescreen now I've told you what you want Please Release my daughter back to scene we will we will as soon as we get our air scre to turns off the telescreen Dark Helmet walks over to him puts the iron

47:00 down on his desk and extends his hand Mr President congratulations you did it your evil plan has worked not only have you screw picks up the hot iron from his desk and extends it to Dark Helmet hey you're burning my desk put this back Dark Helmet unwittingly takes Iron by the white hot end yes sir yes sir he walks toward the fireplace taking about three steps before realizing what he is holding then he admits the loudest scream ever he drops the iron like a hot potato and runs back to president's gr's desk where he thrusts his hot little hand into a pitchure of ice water we hear a great hissing sound as Steam rises from the pitcher hey that's my water scri looks down at the combination written on the stopad jeez 5 4 3 2 1 now that we have the combination nothing can stop us from taking every last breath of air from their planet and leaving them all to die after a beat scro drops his eyes and looks directly

48:15 into the camera what are you looking at come to the exterior Starfield the music is pompous the following words come up a slant on the screen and slowly recede in triangular fashion into the distance breaking their word the Space Balls leave Princess Vespa imprisoned whilst they proceed toward planet druidia to carry out their dly plan those dastards space ball one suddenly looms up into the frame and crashes into the words we've just read strewing the Starfield with broken letters we cut to another part of the Starfield we see a spaceship approaching speeding across the heavens the camera moves into the ship it is Eagle 5 music the lonar theme resolve to the interior of the cockpit Lone Star is piloting the Winnebago barf sits next to him popping multicolored balls of candy into his mouth he's holding an extra large movie theater sized candy box labeled Space Balls the candy well there it is Spaceball City

49:26 straight ahead head good switch on the invisible Landing Shield have we got one of course panel B special effects I could swear this wasn't here before c to insert of panel B it is labeled panel B special effects barf opens it revealing a switch that says invisible Landing Shield bar flicks it on invisible field on cut to the exterior of the Starfield Eagle five Fades away into invisibility cut to the exterior of Spaceball City close up on two large pingpong ball like buildings day with a wide flat bridge between them a pair of Spaceball Troopers are guarding one of the buildings which on its door says prison ball 28 the noise of Eagle FES Landing Jets fill the air the dust and litter below the Unseen Eagle five are blown in every direction the Spaceball guards look around each other perplexed what the continued and the noise stops oh come on they rush to investigate and run crash headlong into the side of the

50:43 invisible Eagle five crash smash they fall to the ground knocked unconscious cut to a medium shot of the shot of the invisible door of invisible Eagle five nothing slow opens and gradually we see something it is Lone Star and barf standing in the doorway of Eagle 5 the interior of which is visible behind them they look at the unconscious guard spra beneath them look the welcoming committee and how nice of them to bring our disguises they jump down and Clos the door after them making Eagle 5 invisible once again they bend down over the guards to undo their uniform ORS lonar quickly removes a large key ring complete with laser keys to the cells and grabs a laser rifle flip to the interior prison Corridor day it is a gleaming seamless tube made of white myar two Spaceball guards approach the camera as they pass the camera swivels 180 to a rear sh shot of the guards one of them Sports a tail around a corner a

51:53 pair of rear real guards suddenly appear marching toward them as the guards approach Our Heroes they raise their rifles in a presentent arm salute we cut to the reverse angle only lonar carries a rifle which he with which he returns a salute sizing up the situation quickly barf presents his stiff tail he and lonar smartly turn the corner cut to reverse angle the two real guards raise their visors look at each other puzzled shake their heads nah flip their visors back down and continue on back to scene they Edge past the guard sitting at a desk the guard is so absorbed in his TV Set he doesn't notice them not to a closeup of the TV screen coming soon to a planet near you Death Wish 5,000 a frail white-haired old man looking not unlike 150-year-old Charles Bronson is standing next to another man do that to my great great granddaughter give me my Magnum 375 the man leads into an enormous nickel-plated revolver the old man takes

53:06 it with both hands and turns as if to fire at someone but the gun is too heavy for him and he falls flat on his face back to scene lonar and barf look at each other and head down the corridor cut to another prison Corridor lonar and barf come to a large stainless steel door they can go no further sign above it reads VIP prisoners maximum security keep out she must be in there he pulls out the key ring and tries several of the laser Keys the third one works the door slides open with a hiss they enter quickly and the door hiss is Clos behind them cut to the reverse angle we see a row of cells on this side of the door the sign reads VI prisoners maximum security keep in Cut to a closer angle on Lone Star and barf in the maximum security cell block she got to be in one of these cells we hear from a nearby cell a rich Bas Paul ropes and like voice singing Nobody Knows the Trouble I've seen that can't be her lonar opens a

54:22 panel and we cut to Lone star's POV the princess sits on her bunk singing in a a rich low Bas voice nobody knows but me it's her what she sings Low barf and lonar look at each other surprised we hear the sound of the laser key in the lock lonar opens the door princess she turns around startled oh Lone Star how did you find me she Rises they exchange a look of love and begin to move toward each other without even realizing it and the music is chovy's Romeo and Juliet Overture I can Name That Tune in three notes uh the Music Stops the mood is shattered ah come on we've got to get out of here oh wait dot she can't move move they took her batteries cut to the princess's POV where a DOT lies lifeless in a corner well I got batteries wait he Zips down the front of his Spaceball guard uniform and starts to search through the ammunition belt let me see Tootsie Rolls Tootsie Rolls Tootsie Rolls oh

55:51 batteries barf starts putting the batteries into dot hurry oh they thought I was unconscious but I heard them who president scr he lied they're going to take every bit of air and let everyone die come on barf did you hear that carry her we'll put the batteries in later barf picks up Dot and they all rush out of the cell the screen flips to the interior of another prison Corridor day lonar the princess and barf are stealthily tiptoeing down the Cor barf is carrying Dot and inserting the rest of the batteries into her battery pack music stealthy tiptoe music The Sound an ominous electronic rattle lungar holds of his hand signaling for them to stop hold it listen from around the corner comes a small menacing electronic scorpion robot as a laser tail is raised up and pointing right at our heroes oh scorpion Druid watch out it's deadly it gets closer and closer and louder and louder suddenly a high

57:03 pitch wine emanates from its quivering tail it's about to fire its lethal Ray and barf steps on it flattening like a water buug scrunch it was deadly now it's just dead they continue down the corridor Lone Star points ahead to a single beam of light crossing the corridor about a foot from the floor be careful Lone Star very carefully steps Over The Beam without breaking it the princess does the same barf working on dot does it perfectly except that he forgets about his tail we cut to a close of Bar's tail hanging down beside him and it breaks the beam back to scene instantly the air is filled with the sound of a high pitch Escape alarm flat flat FL myar walls begin ultimately blow and red and white farf quickly sticks the last battery into Dot's battery pack and closes the compartment dot instantly comes back to life I was saying where where am I what's happening the gagle of guards comes King

58:11 around the corner out of the corridor behind them branching laser rifles Our Heroes see them we'll explain later run for it they begin running for their lives the guards opened fire and Laser bursts explode all around them zap zap zap what a time to come back to life he run around the corner cut to another interior prison Corridor day as they appear around the corner they are greeted by a series of laser blasts zap zap zap zap cut to Our Heroes POV ahead of them locking the corridor we see four Spaceball guards Manning deadly laser rifles back to scene they step back only to hear more guards coming up from behind them we're trapped what do we do barar spots a series of bent semicircular myar tubes he reaches over and tears them out of the wall what are you doing watch this he sticks his head around the corner and taunts the guards they reply by sending out an angry fuselage of laser blast baram

59:19 imediately sticks out the myar tubes the laser blast go one in the tube and shoot out the other right back at the guards just as they realize what they're happening what's happening they are blasted by their own fire zap zap zap zap lonar slaps bar on the back good work they all run down the corridor past the four zaed baseball guards ahead of them two huge stainless steel slabs begin to move toward each other to seal off the corridor one comes from the ceiling and the other comes from the floor it's closing go broke everybody dive on three three in unison all four do a spectacular tuck roll and dive just clearing the stainless steel slabs before they come together the last thing we see is Bar's tail barely making it clang a barrage of laser blast bounce off the stainless steel cut to the interior of the prison Corridor the other side of the door day the corridor shakes and the echo of the boom still

1:00:21 reverberates in the air we see the backs of Our Heroes as they jump in unison to their feet like a military drill team we hear an ominous offstage voice don't move you're dead we've got him Captain he cut to a reverse angle ringing around the room are four Spaceball Troopers with their lasers the ready the captain imperiously strides into the room someone else wanted to take the captain for me here sure Sensational stunt my friends but all for not now clasp your hands behind your head and slowly turn around they begin to turn around so princess you thought cut to the wide reverse angle we see the four prisoners with their hands clasped behind their heads they are all men including the princess who's wearing a long curly wig badly in need of a shave and smoking a short black cigar you idiots these are not them they've captured their stunt doubles oh cers the area find them find them the Escape alarm goes off again BL

1:01:35 BL BL BL BL we cut to the exterior Spaceball City closeup the two large pingpong ball-like buildings with a wide flat bridge between them day our heroes run out of prison ball 28 where's the ship how are we going to get away oh don't worry it's here somewhere barf runs ahead of the others and collides at full speed with the invisible Eagle 5 crunch he turns around the front of his visor is totally flattened out I found it barf opens the invisible door revealing the now visible interior of Eagle 5 he jumps in come on get in hurry barf heads for the cockpit lonar jumps up helps the princess and Dot in and closes the door once again everything is invisible we hear the sound of the engine starting the dust and litter on the bridge below the Unseen Eagle 5 are again blown in every direction we hear them picking up speed and flying off into the heavens we cut to the exterior Starfield Eagle five

1:02:41 gradually becomes visible again and flies through the heavens cut to the interior of Eagle 5 cockpit Lone Star and barf are seated in the cockpit staring at the telescreen it is filled with static snow the princess and Dot are standing above above them leaning over their shoulders King Roland come in this is Eagle 5 this is Eagle 5 we have your daughter Daddy I'm free change the combination to the air Shield quick the space balls are on the way come in daddy come in no good we're still out of range keep trying keep trying Eagle Rolland this is Eagle 5 come in the telescreen goes black Lone Star looks out the windscreen we cut to the exterior Starfield space ball one and Planet druidia are in the distance Eagle 5 enters frame flying toward it cut to the interior Eagle 5 cockpit look it's Spaceball one they reached the air Shield the princess Dot and barf turned to look out the windc screen cut to Our

1:03:46 Hero's point of view through the wind screen the air Shield begins to open and it's opening back to seeing how they going to get the air out I don't see hoses or anything oh what's happening Spaceball one it's it's changing cut to Our Hero's point of view the music is magnificent Fanfare the camera moves in on the screen through the magic of computer an animation we watch Spaceball one as it begins an amazing metamorphosis from enormous spaceship to gigantic robot hey it's not only a spaceship it's a Transformer what is it what's it changing into it looks like a gigantic made holding an enormous vacuum cleaner baseball one is now totally transformed into a giant robot Slade it holds an enormous upright vacuum cleaner its face and head formly the bridge area vaguely resembles the face and head of the Statue of Liberty the giant windscreen has become its Crown observation deck the music The

1:05:01 Magnificent Fanfare ends in a glorious Crescendo and we cut to the interior Mega made Bridge area it has physically changed to accommodate its new identity metamorphosis complete space ball one has now become Mega made music Kettle drums the greatest achievement in Spaceball history Music Space Balls the song a driving Hard Rock theme featuring The of repeated lyric Space Balls turn that goddamn loud music off I can't stand it to a closeup of the radio operator he flips a switch down and the Music Stops back to scene proceed Dark Helmet steps up to the microphone we cut to a closeup of Dark Helmet commence operation Mega suck oops cut to the exterior Starfield we see the enormous stainless steel switch on the vacuum cleaner handle cut to closeup of the switch on it are three positions on off reverse it is pointed straight up in the off position Mega Ma's gigantic metallic thumb slowly moves into frame and pushes the switch

1:06:24 to the on position immediately the air is filled with an incredible Roar of the tremendous vacuum cleaner camera pulls back to reveal all of megaa with her vacuum cleaner megaa pushes her vacuum cleaner menacingly and relentlessly towards the open window of the air Shield big music grave danger cut to the exterior atmosphere of Planet druidia day we see the hungry mouth of the vacuum cleaner protruding through the window of the air Shield the sound of the vacuum cleaner Ro Roar grows louder we see fluffy white clouds being sucked into the huge M of the vacuum cleaner we cut to the exterior Planet druidia day the shadow of the vacuum cleaner Falls across a Grove of trees with a rush of air swoosh the tree limbs are pulled straight up and all the leaves are vacuumed up into the sky until the trees are completely bare cut to the exterior of the Crystal Cathedral day a group of jidan are are exiting the

1:07:26 church some of them in the doorway shaking hands with the minister suddenly the shadow of the vacuum cleaner Falls over them with a rush of air swoosh they look up terrified hats and an occasional tupe fly off and women fight to keep their skirts down cut to exterior snowcapped Mountain day the mountain look not unlike Mount the mountain looks not unlike Mount Fuji the shadow Falls across it woosh and the snow is immediately vacuumed off the top of the mountain we cut to the exterior Tokyo Street day it's a color stock shot from a Japanese sci-fi movie a shadow Falls across a group of Japanese people as they look skyward in Terror pointing and gesticulating C two the interior of King Roland's throne room and office day King Roland is sitting alone at his throne he is holding a picture of his daughter looking at it fondly and sadly gasping for air he slumps back in his throne closes his eyes and drops the

1:08:31 picture to the floor we cut to the interior of the eagle 5 cockpit our four Heroes anxiously look at the Windstream the airbag it's almost full what'll we do cut to Our Hero's point of view through the windscreen Mega made is monolithically vacuuming away the airbag expanding at an alarming rate the the sound of the vacuum grows menacingly louder back to scene you've got to act fast St reverse the vacuum and blow the air back to the planet step two we destroy that monster but isn't that dangerous extremely the screen flips to the exterior Eagle 5 a ramp begins to extend from the bottom of the ship and we cut to a closer angle we hear a mighty Roar and Lone Star comes rocketing down the ramp on a wheeless stainless steel motor mcycle like space bike mounted on the gas tank in front of Lone Star sits his symbol a silver eagle lonar turns the handle revving the bike to the max jet Flames spew out of the twin exhausts the

1:09:40 music how boy to the rescue we cut to a new angle Lone Star is approaching the huge handle of the vacuum cleaner we cut to a closer shot he reaches down into his pocket on the side of his seat and pulls out a length of coiled shiny steel cable it's a space Lariat cut to a new angle lonar swoops down on the switch twirling the space larat in a big circle above his head then we cut to the camera directly behind this huge stainless steel switch Lone Star grows larger and larger flying towards us and still twirling the lariat when it looks like he's just about to crash into the switch he turns his space bike hard to the right neatly lassoing the switch as he goes goes by we cut to a closeup of Lone Star he ties the cable around the base of the silver eagle back to seeing the Noose tightens on the switch and suddenly it is jerked from on to off the deafening Roar of the vacuum suddenly ceases for the first time in

1:10:43 the entire movie there is absolutely no sound we cut to the interior the eagle five cockpit it stopped he's got the switch to off now if he can only get it to reverse come on lonar come on oh please Lone Star please put to the exterior Starfield lonar revs his bike for all its worth trying desperately to get the vacuum into reverse cut to insert of silver eagle the base of the silver eagle that the lariat is wrapped around begins to crack back to scene lonar continues to rev the bike we see the strain on the steel Lariat as it pulls at the switch come on baby come on Patu insert the switch as the lariat tugs at it it vibrates wildly but doesn't budge petu inserts Silver Eagle the crack begins to widen crack crack crack break back to scene as the eagle breaks off the steel Lariat Flies free lonar manages to grabb it just in time he hangs on with both hands at the same time gripping the space bike with his

1:12:02 legs cut to the interior of Eagle 5 cockpit closeup the princess oh no cut to the exterior Starfield Lone Star is desperately hanging on to the lariat the spice space bike begins to slip from beneath him I can't I can't it's no use suddenly from behind him comes a voice use the Schwarz Lone Star use the Schwarz cut to a new angle yogurt is seated behind lonar on the space bike wearing a crash helmet and a motorcycle jacket that reads Space Balls the movie he is an apparition we can almost see through him yogur where did you come from never mind this is no time for Small Talk use the Schwarz but I don't have the ring off for get the Ring The Ring is bucus it's nothing I found it in a crackerjack box the Schwarz is not in the ring it was never in the ring it's in you in me yes it's always been in you you can believe it you can do it Lone Star believe believe I'll try yogurt I'll try lonar believes with all his might he

1:13:23 begins to pull the lariat toward him him hand over hand a glow emanates from lonar through him to the lariat that's it lonar that's it the glow around Lone Star in the space bite grows brighter the camera follows up the lariat now glowing brilliantly cut to closeup of the lariat and the vacuum we see the news tightening around the switch which is now slowly beginning to move music and the power and the glory the lariat becomes more and more taut until finally the switch goes into reverse with a deafening click that resounds through the Starfield the music forever the vacuum instantly Roars to life again only this time in reverse the airbag begins to deflate back to Sea yogurt the Schwarz it worked Bonar turns and sees that yogurt is gone thanks yogurt from nowhere in the distance we hear yogurt's fading voice yeah welcome and we switch narrators to Kyle you're muted Kyle let's do that again interior Eagle

1:14:49 5 cockpit overlapping dialogue he did it hoay Yahoo interior Mega made Bridge area everybody is looking out the wind screen confused not knowing why the airbag is deflating helmet what the hell's going on Sanders what's happening it's Mega made yes she's gone from suck to blow she's what continued that's terrible do something they're getting all their back cut to Interior King Roland's Throne Room office day King Roland is lying back on his throne his eyes closed camera moves to the photograph of Princess Vespa it is lying on the floor where he dropped it after a beat the photograph gently flutters air is returning to the almost airless room camera moves to the drapes which begin to gently blow in the room Cameron moves back to King Roland he takes a deep breath of fresh air and open opens his eyes I'm breathing air exterior Crystal Cathedral day people are standing sitting kneeling and

1:16:06 lying on the lawn outside of the Crystal Cathedral they are variously gasping for breath holding their breath and breathless suddenly there is the sound of air returning everyone miraculously revives and happily gulps deep droughts of fresh air cut to exterior snowcapped Mountain day the Mount Fuji look like is still bare and drab suddenly from the sky the snow returns and lands back on the mountain plop once again it is a snowcapped thing of beauty cut to exterior Tokyo Street day another color stock shot from a Japanese sci-fi movie A Joyful group of Japanese extras look upward and cheer Catu exterior Mega made the wi of ago carefully approaches her left ear Music Space trolo cut to Interior Eagle 5 cockpit here we go are you sure this is GNA work of course not got to reverse angle over the shoulder shot through windscreen Eagle 5 enters the dark hole of Mega maid's ear the wind screen goes black dim lights

1:17:23 activate infrared viewer the lights dim and the telescreen lights up closeup telescreen displayed in red on the screen is a schematic animation of Our Hero's point of view through the ear we see Eagle five proceeding through the dark red Canal of Mega maid's ear back to scene Our Heroes faces are bathed in red light suddenly the ship lurches we hear a strange Hollow sound what was that it's okay we just hit our eardrum Lone Star presses a button in front of the telescreen the images rapidly change what are you doing scanning interior Mega Ma's ear canal we see the scanning mechanism on the underside of Eagle 5 it's slowly revolves 360 Degrees while emitting a low humming sound and projecting an infrared Beam music infrared sails in the sunset back to scene there's got to be a self-destruct mechanism somewhere in the central brain area he keeps scanning interior Mega's ear canal below Eagle 5 the scanner

1:18:36 suddenly points down and stops its hum changes to a low urgent beeping back to scene I think I found it where watch he presses a button enlarging the picture closeup telescreen we see a schematic of a small chamber it grows larger and larger finally in the center of it we discover a red pulsating light Bingo ma scene there it is right below us put her in Hover barf I'm going down there interior Mega Ma's inner ear canal lone star is hanging down from the winnabago on the last rung of the Lucid rope ladder he drops to the bottom of the ear canal and makes his way to a nearby door with a sign on it that reads emergency exit he opens the door enters and quietly closes the door behind him as he does so a small yellow light blinks on at the bottom of the door C to Interior Mega made Bridge area a security technician is sitting at his console a little yellow light flashes on the board in front of him security

1:19:52 technician Colonel Sanders I'm picking up a silent alarm in the self-destruct complex Spot It For Me closeup security monitor we see lonar making his way down one of the high-tech corridors in the self-destruct complex back to scene Dark Helmet leaps to his feet Lone Star I'll call the guards no he's mine I'll handle this interior Mega ma self-destruct complex a guard rifle at the ready stands at attention in front of a door a sign in front of it reads no unauthorized or authorized Personnel permitted to enter lone star's arm enters the frame and circles the guard's neck camera pulls back to reveal Lone Star overpowering the guard in less than two seconds with a perfectly aimed karate chop to the base of his skull the guard crumples to the floor unconscious Lone Star takes the guard's key ring he inserts one of the keys into a slot and a panel next to the door slides open a robot voice is

1:21:03 activated hand print identification please excuse me he reaches down and pulls the unconscious guard's hand into frame and onto the plate the door slides open Lone Star drops the guard's hand thank you he enters the inner ear chamber at one end of it is a stainless steel door that leads to the self-destruct mechanism itself at the other end is the guard's quarters there is a double tiered stainless steel bunk a locker and a small wash lone star's point of view there is a guard shaving at the wash standand his face covered with shaving cream he peers into a little round shaving mirror sitting on a shelf above the sink a large towel on a rack next to to him has a huge picture of Dark Helmet on it it reads Dark Helmet the towel back to scene lonar is totally surprised to see another guard he reaches for his gun and realizes he doesn't have it cut to Lone star's point of view the guard he yells

1:22:14 over his shoulder is that you milar back to scene Lone Star doesn't answer he looks around desperately for a weapon he spots something Catu insert can of shaving cream it is sitting on the wash stand and reads Space Balls the shaving cream back to scene Lone Star closes his eyes and concentrates with all his might music the Schwarz Shimmer the shaving cream starts to tremble and moves through the air towards lonar the amazed guard follows it with his eyes the can comes to rest in Lone star's Palm what the who are you you forgot your eyes with two quick bursts he fills the guard's eyes with shaving cream splurt splurt the guard opens his mouth to yell for help help bone star quickly fills his mouth with shaving cream and then knocks him senseless with a karate chop he removes the gun from the guard's holster and jams it into his belt he slides open the steel door and quickly enters the self-destruct room on the

1:23:23 wall opposite the door is the red pulsating light that we saw earlier in the schematic it is part of the self-destruct mechanism just below it is a sign reading self-destruct button do not push unless you really really mean it lonar is just about to push the button when he hears a voice behind him not so fast lonar whirs around lone star's point of view Dark Helmet is poised in the doorway his ringed hand extended toward lonar Dark Helmet so lone star at last we meet for the first time for the last time back to scene Lone Star whips his gun out of his belt and before he can even aim it we hear a low thrumming sound and a green beam from dark helmet's ring Burns it out of his hand Lone Star shakes his hand in pain you think that hurts you ain't felt nothing yet contined Dark Helmet now points his ringed fist directly at Lone star's crotch low unearthly thrumming sound he twists his fist the deadly green beam

1:24:43 shoots out of the ring at Lone star's crotch a split second before the beam gets there Lone Star does a spectacular barishnikov like leap touch ing both toes with both hands it's an incredible midair split the beam explodes and burns a hole in the wall not bad Risha now what do you do for an encore Dark Helmet fires again Lone Star does a terrific backflip Landing back in the guard's quarters Dark Helmet blasts at him through the open doorway Lone Star just manages to sidestep it the wall explodes right next to him a piece of the wall wall flies off and hits him in the head he is momentarily stunned he staggers back unconsciously trapping himself between the bunk and the locker Dark Helmet quickly takes advantage of the situation he points his ringed fist at Lone star's crotch and now say goodbye to your two best friends and I don't mean your pals in the winnabago music Ora Family Jewels out of the

1:25:51 corner of his eye Lone Star spots the shaving mirror on the shelf above the sink he closes his eyes and concentrates music the schwar Shimmer ready here it comes the Shaving mirror flies off the shelf across the room and into lone star's hand he brings it down to his crotch a split second before the beam strikes it bounces off the mirror and heads back for Dark Helmet and there it goes the reflected be te now heads directly for dark helmets astonish genitalia no it slams into him with all the vicious Force he intended for Lone Star he lets out a scream that even people who hate villains don't want to hear he crumples to the floor whining in agony why were you I wouldn't lift anything heavy for a few days Lone Star hurries through the doorway to the next room and pressures the self-destruction button all hell breaks loose as Mega made self-destruction alarm Sirens are set off the sirens whale in the

1:27:02 familiar two note repetition of European police cars and we switch to Aubrey two interior Mega Bridge area we hear the sirens whale through the loudspeakers SC I can take it the loudspeaker line no it's it's SC SC sorry sorry oh that's me whoops your attention please the termination mechanism has been AC oh whoops what's that where the hell are we Paris a Nissen type voice female voice Booms to the loudspeaker your attention please the termination mechanism has been activated in exactly 2 minutes this ship will self-destruct holy [ __ ] how did that happen Sanders stop it do you hear me stop it I can't it's irreversible like my raincoat Sanders takes the microphone attention this is Colonel Sanders in forward command abandon spaceship abandon spaceship all Personnel proceed to escape pods he presses a button that starts the Escape horn all the crew members on the bridge jump up and make a mad Scramble for the

1:28:28 Escape pods cut two closeup radio operator as he jumps up he inadvertently flips up the switch that turns the radio on meanly Space Balls the song fills the bridge with its blaring beat C two interior Eagle 5 cockpit we hear Mega Ma's alarm alarm Sirens what's happening where is he where is he here Lone Star comes up through the open hatch and runs to the cockpit shouting as he goes we've got a minute for you to get out of here before the end of the world he straps himself in buckle up here we go we hear one loud click as they all buckle up simultaneously he pushes the throttle forward and we hear a loud roar of Eagle 5's engines cut two interor Mega's inner ear Eagle 5 Rockets way down the ear canal cut two interior interior mean Ma's Bridge area alarm sirens and horns continue to sound Space Balls the song continues to blast away the bridge is crowded with space ball Troopers rushing to their escape pods launch all Escape

1:29:37 pods as soon as they are filled Evacuate the zoo in exactly one minute this ship will self-destruct in exactly one minute this ship will self-destruct Dark Helmet hubbles in still in obvious pain Lord Helmet somebody pushed a self-destruct button I know I know I was there what happened huh what happened son of a [ __ ] pulled a mirror on me suddenly he screams and jumps as an elephant and his Handler go lumbering by they're followed by clowns acrobats and a sideshow characters notably the human skeleton the mass ex Exodus continues we see belly dancers football players marathon runners cheerleaders drum majorettes all heading for their escape pods got to get out of here where's my pod where's my Escape pod area six sir Dark Helmet fights his way through the crowd area 6 area six camera follows him as he makes his way to area 6 he comes to an escape pod with a sign over it that reads area 6 Lord helmet's personal

1:30:44 Escape pod he slides open the curved glass door and finds himself face to face with an enormous bearded lady she is strapping herself into his pot as he re as she reaches for the door/ lodge lever he screams at her get out of there who the hell are you the bearded lady would to make something out of it she pulls the lever the door slams in dark helmet's face and the Pod Rockets away with a Sonic explosion cut two reverse angle dark helmet's face is squished against the glass door and he can barely hear and we can barely hear him sobbing back you fat [ __ ] cut two exterior Starfield triangular pod launchers extend from around the mega maid's head different side sized Escape pods are rapidly being launched from them music alarms and horns continue blurring throughout with each launching we hear a firework like explosion cut to Interior Mega made Bridge area everybody has evacuated excuse me the place is a

1:31:49 wreck in exactly 30 seconds this ship will self-destruct suddenly from either side of the frame FR Sanders and Dark Helmet come running in somebody stole my pod somebody stole my pod closeup SCB standing by his pod nobody stole my pod he opens the door so long boys it's been fun he starts to get into his pod Sanders and Dark Helmet run to scr's pod oh no you don't scre is in his pod and about to buckle himself up tenders arrives first and pulls scre out meanwhile Dark Helmet runs behind them and jumps in scre sees this oh no you don't you little V while they're struggling Sanders gets in Dark Helmet grab grabs Sanders and pulls him out oh no you don't you in the meantime sco gets in him quickly pulls the lever Dark Helmet and Sanders pull him out just as the doors start to close they all look in horror as the empty pod rockets off with an ironic boom they look at at each other you you pun in exactly 10 seconds the ship will

1:33:05 self-destruct counting down 10 8 seven wait whoa whoa what happened to nine just kidding nine six whoa interior Eagle five cockpit through the wind screen a DOT of Starlight in the distance grows larger as we approach it the other end faster in cut two interior Mega made Bridge area four 3 two cut two exterior Starfield Eagle five bursts out of Mega's right a Full Throttle cut to Interior Mega made Bridge area scr Dark Helmet and Sanders are huddled together clutching each other desperately 1 zero goodbye have a good day exterior Starfield wide shot including all of Mega made the little white dot of Eagle 5 is speeding away whoops uh speeding away instantly the black Starfield the space is lit up by the blinding orange white light of the ear of an ear shattering explosion to end all explosions it sends parts of megaa and her vacuum cleaner flying all over the heading the heavens cut two closer shot

1:34:30 Mega maid's head it tumbles and uh sorry it tumbles and over and like a huge metallic botball through space Catu interior Eagle five cockpit they're all jubilant Yahoo we made it you did it I don't know how but you did it a nothing to it just one ear and the other cut two interior King Roland's Throne room/ office day an Overjoyed King Roland rises from his radar screen and addresses two Royal ministers lone star's done it he's defeated the Space Balls ring the victory Bells send forth the joyous news let everyone know wake up Prince volum cut to exterior Starfield Evil 5 goes through the open window in the airshield passing from the dark of outer space into the beautiful azur sky that surrounds Planet Jia Catu interior Eagle 5 cockpit lonar is flying the ship barf is snoozing his legs propped up on the control panel his foot slips and he kicks the intercom switch cut to insert intercom a red light

1:35:46 labeled rear cabin lights up back to scene lonar leans over to switch it off just before he does princess vesa's voice comes over the intercom speaker I don't care I don't love Prince fum I love lonar and I'm giving up the throne lone star's eyes widen Catu interior Eagle five rear quarters the princess is seated dot stands behind her brushing her hair in preparation for landing dot is upset by the princess's declaration you can't you have no choice my dear you're a princess you must marry a prince I don't care I love him and I know he loves me I can see it in his eyes and you'd give up everything for him yes everything she gets up and I'm going to tell him right now Catu interial Eagle 5 cockpit Lone Star shakes barf waking him up wake up wake up listen whatever I say just go along with it understand okay yeah what lar hears the rear cabin door open he looks up into his rear view mirror

1:37:03 tattoo lone Stars POV through the mirror we see the princess about to enter the cockpit area through the drapes back to scene in love with the princess are you kidding who's all an act cut two lone Stars POV through mirror the princess stops steps behind the drapes cut two closeup the princess she's hurt and perplexed as she listens back to scenes but but you told me you thought she was lar kicks barf under the control panel and surreptitiously jerks his thumb indicating the princess partially be hidden behind the dropes yeah a self-centered spoiled brat oh yeah yeah he too sees the princess in the rear room mirror um that that's what you said oh now I remember Catu closeup princess tears are welling in her eyes I can't wait to get rid of her and collect that reward a million space bucks think of all the fun we can have back in Vegas or Vega a tear rolls down the princess's cheek she turns quickly and goes back to

1:38:16 the rear quarters we hear the door shut behind her back to scene I don't know what you had in mind but if you wanted her to stop loving you you sure did a good job yeah well wasn't going to let her give up being a princess just so she can hang out with the space bum for the rest of her life camera moves into Lone Star Space Music Bittersweet C exterior Crystal Cathedral day Eagle five it's jet still smoking has just landed on the lawn and is surrounded by a throng of happy cheering jidan we hear the sound of its jet engines winding down to a stop King and Roland and his two Royal ministers are waiting under a canopy at the end of a red carpet that leads to Eagle 5 a small brass band is standing nearby and strike up the national anthem the band plays hooray for Hollywood the door of Eagle 5 opens and Princess vesa bursts out she rushes into her father's outstretched arms dot follows after her and then barf

1:39:24 lonar hangs back in the doorway of Eagle five Prince Valium yawning saunters up to the princess and King Roland stealing a glance at Lone Star the princess passionately kisses a surprise Prince valian cut to a closeup of Lone Star it is not wasted on him wipe to the exterior Royal Reception Area day as king of a grateful Planet I hereby bestow upon cap lonar and his sidekick Bart Fu the highest H that is in our power to Grant he takes out a metal hanging on a red ribbon and places the ribbon around lone star's neck at the same time one of the royal ministers places an identical medal around bf's hairy neck the druian medal of thank you you're welcome and now let's let us all make ready for a truly joyous occasion The Royal Wedding of Princess Besa and Prince valium with a big smile the king looks happily over to his daughter she isn't smiling instead she is looking at lonar and he in turn stares at her the king's

1:40:45 smile Fades as he realizes that they love each other uh uh yes uh cut to the exterior of the Crystal Cathedral day the camera moves into the sign on the lawn of the church it reads today Royal Wedding princess vaspa to Prince Valium and underneath take two resolve to the interior of the Crystal Cathedral day we hear the Mumble murmur and general hubub of the wedding guests a closer shot of one of the pews the guests in the pews obviously extras who are not allowed to say real words say Mumble Mumble mumble Hub Hub hubub cut to another angle on top of the aisle King Roland and Princess Vasa in her wedding gown are poised at the top of the aisle are you all right my dear you look a little flighty oh don't worry father I'm completely over him he didn't even stay for the wedding oh just grabbed his million space box and around oh but he didn't take the million he didn't no he just took 248 space box for TOs and gas and lunch

1:42:06 The Wedding March starts and it's time my dear he offers his arm to princess vesa she takes it and they start down the aisle her eyes tell us she's been sensationally bewildered by this information we cut to the interior of Eagle 5 cockpit where Lone Star glumly flies the Winnebago at least we could have stayed for the Royal sitdown dinner I'm starving oh we got anything to eat no wait a minute yogur gave me this fortune cookie you can have it oh thanks barf breaks open the cookie instead of the usual little paper fortune out comes the spray of sparkling shimmering particles of light accompanied by a beautiful harp glissando the shimmering lights form themselves into the figure of yogurt yogurt yogurt hello boys okay Lone Star here's your fortune you know that Medallion you wear around your neck that you don't know what it means well here's what it means it's a royal birth certificate your father was a king your mother was a

1:43:20 queen which makes you a certif IFI Charming Prince I'm a prince hey that means that means if you hurry there's liable to be a princess in your future now if you want to get back there before she marries Sleeping Beauty it's a can of special fuel in your glove compartment with another Shimmer of light and harp gandoo yogurts disappears barf quick open that club compartment barf rushes to it you got it your highness barf pulls out a little can out of the glove compartment it is labeled liquid Schwarz wow liquid Schwarz pour it into the gas tank as Lone Star buckles himself into his seat barf rushes out of frame rushes back done barf buckles up as Lone Star grabs the throttles and shoves them forward hang on furball we're going to make space tracks exterior Starfield Eagle 5 makes a sharp U-turn we hear the screeching sound of burning rubber as Eagle 5 swerves around we see Stardust skid marks in the sky

1:44:34 music speeding down the Milky Way and Eagle FES heads back toward deria cut to Lone Star EMB barfs POV through the windscreen as Eagle 5 accelerates once again the stars turn into Stripes of white light passing the speed of sound cut to the stripes of white light becoming bright stripes in all the colors of the rainbow passing the speed of light right before their eyes the colored Stripes weave themselves together in crisscross fashion the sky is turned into a Burlington Mills commercial replete with a super rapid Burlington Mills Loom weaving sound holy moly we've got ploud and Tori do you want to take the rest of these actions descriptions yep I got cut to the interior Crystal Cathedral closeup of the minister day dearly beloved we are gathered here together again to join camera pulls back to reveal princess vesa and Prince Valium standing in front of the minister King Roland is just behind

1:45:45 them why didn't you tell me he didn't take the money I didn't think it was important besides he asked me not to tell you may we continue please everyone is quiet to join princess vesa and Prince I see it all now he said all those terrible things so I'd hate him he was sacrificing himself so I wouldn't give up the throne don't you see he loves me would you mind having this conversation later I happen to be conducting a wedding ceremony oh I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry too to join Princess Vespa and Prince Valium in holy we hear the cathedral shaking sound of Eagle 5's Jets zooming in [ __ ] everyone in the Cathedral reacts to the noise King Roland and princess veso look at each other could it be matrimony that's him oh I know it's him oh he's come back that's it I'm not taking any more chances we're doing the short version Prince Valium do you take princess vesa to be your lawfully wetted

1:47:20 wife I do Vasa do you take Prince Valium to be your lawfully wedded husband well I don't know I mean I I suppose I mean I I she doesn't All Eyes turned toward the rear of the church there stands Lone Star resplendant in princely rment he is clean shaven Vision in white and gold behind him stands barf looking like he was just groomed by a Beverly Hills poodle paror who are you prince lonar prince I just found out that's what this says will you marry me wait oh me let me think it over yes I'm sick of this I don't give a damn who it is but I'm going to marry somebody today you get down here Lone Star heads towards the altar barf rushes ahead and picks up Prince Valium like he's a piece of furniture and puts him back in a pew excuse me we won't be needing you anymore oh all right okay here we go the short short version do you yes do you yes you're married kiss the bride they look deeply into each other's eyes music

1:48:47 happily ever after I love you I love you they kiss church bells play mle shon's Wedding March music Segways to 100 Lush violins telling us our Newly Weds are going to live happily ever after or until space Pauls 2 whichever comes first camera pulls back and up we go through the top of the cathedral into the sky and then into the Starfield cut to the exterior Starfield a legend appears in the Starfield May the Schwarz be with you music the good guys themee triumphant for all intents and purposes the movie appears to be over but not yet dissolve through to the exterior of another planet a beautiful Blue Marble of a planet that is surrounded by fluffy white clouds we dissolve through to an exterior deserted Beach day waves gently lap at the shore suddenly the air is rent by the rushing sound of what could be a falling meteor whoosh it lands off stage the Earth shakes a moment later we hear a second smaller object whoosh and

1:50:01 P camera pans to reveal the source of the ples mega maid's huge head has landed upon in upright in the sand right beside it is her arm still holding the vacuum handle which is pointed Skyward she looks suspiciously like the top of the Statue of Liberty after a moment from inside her nostril slowly but surely one by one three strange objects make their way out of her nose camera moves in and we see that it is scrob dark helmet and Sanders cleaning for clinging for dear life to a makeshift rope of nodded Spaceball bed sheets we hear strange sounds from offstage it seems to be the winying of horses approaching at a Gallop scr Dark Helmet and Sanders whip their head around and look Their Eyes Wide in amazement cut two screwed dark helmets and Sanders's point of view two berobed Apes on Horseback in the distance cut to closer shots of the Apes what are those things coming out of her nose Space

1:51:09 Balls uhoh there goes the planet Fade Out the end yay that was lovely you all that was so much fun little different though huh then the acual movie lot of differences in this one it's like really was like reading a different movie at some point so then it starts to get to the familiar stuff and you're like oh okay this is still Space Balls but we're that we're reading yeah um if you can stay for the discussion that'd be lovely um we can take a 5 minute break I know for folks cuz we've been all reading for a really long time and then we can come back and talk a little bit about it if you're able to do so so I have um what two after the hour whatever hour it is in your particular location so um maybe back at s after the hour and have a have a nice little talk good I won't be able to stay as long as last time but I can stay for a little bit that's fine that's fine get me a drink of water back in a bit

1:53:21 w now for all right bribe my cats with some cat food so maybe they won't be yowling throughout the discussion at least I bribe the noisy ones The Quiet Ones will have to wait for dinner that's funny yeah well the two 17-year-old cats are really really really uh hry all the time so that's funny all right so what do you guys think it's it was good there were some parts where you could definitely tell like I mean as Tori was saying it almost seems like a completely different movie and SL you're like oh yeah that's that's that's that one thing oh yeah and it's kind of the same things we talked about the first half it's like I I know a lot of it's because we're familiar with the jokes that we know from the film but sometimes it feels like those jokes don't quite hit as much so it makes sense why why a bunch of them maybe didn't make the final cut because you can kind of feel how they don't quite land but some of

1:55:40 them really really like I wish they were still in it because some of them are really funny and some of them I think like I did miss the um we'll give the princess her old nose yeah the whole nose that part that part was really funny and and the whole I can't believe they shot my hair you [ __ ] or whatever was like you sus up [ __ ] I don't remember what she says but it's really funny well I thought I was kind of looking forward to I thought it was interesting um that scrw you know in the movie that we all know is you know the they're like the oh that's the combination some idiot would have group is like change the combination on my luggage but in this version he's like he he thinks it's stupid as well that that's the yeah they really added a lot to the movie to make screw the best character yeah well it adds to the whole level of like you know the the satire of mirroring like an incompetent politician

1:56:41 so it's like of course his combination on his luggage would be one two three four five yeah's a lot more serious too sorry go ahead what were you saying I really missed the part where Mega Ma's about to blow up and it says you can now hit the you can now cancel self-destruct and they all go down to cancel it and it's out of order forg and dark goes [ __ ] even in the future nothing works yeah I remember that and then the whole have a nice day thank you thank you just that part that's actually why I was having a hard time reading cuz I was like typing it in I'm like thank you cuz I had to cuz I missed that part I was like oh you know than thank you there I really because we mentioned it last time and we were seeing where it came in either the first half or the second half I'm really mad that in this version the entire keep firing [ __ ] section is not yeah it's not there not in the script at all it's

1:57:35 like the that was completely ad lived it's insane Al it's all funny and I mean it's fun to see like when you bring such bigname actors into the room with a script like this how they hear the jokes and they you know kind of revamp it and be like well I don't know if that really hits maybe we could kind of add Li here here and there um also just really really committing to the Colonel Sanders joke you know it I had that same thought I'm like wow that's committing to that Colonel Sanders Joke Man also the all those strawberries I was like yogurt I can't stand yogurt all those strawberries I miss it's also just an interesting change I wonder where the decision came it's such a small thing but the change for Bar's foot to get squished by the statue instead of foot it's like the flat pancake foot coming out from underneath it I think it probably had to mix sorry go ahead Goode Kyle I think it's probably because in the movie

1:58:39 yogurt never stands up that's true he's always on his knees oh yeah that was interesting they add that in it's like a little Lord farquad movie moment oh also I like that ties his shoes to his knees with rubber bands like that's that so funny whatever works um no I think I think it's definitely I don't know it's just so different and I think it's it's so hard to really differentiate yourself from the version that you know version um are so much more serious than this and I think it just is it's Bill Pullman's like comedic timing and physical comedic physical acting I think that helps a lot but it's so funny how much more serious he reads and I think that was supposed to be on purpose he's supposed to be kind of like a mix between Luke Skywalker and ha solo so it kind of makes sense so we think maybe the Giant Pizza was cut for Budget the giant yeah I think it was there's a lot and also it just didn't make any sense

1:59:41 but they didn't have the hello honey hello go instead we get Rodney stranger field I think they probably couldn't hire Rodney stranger field so far which was great I think I think they uh probably cut out the whole pie of the Hut scene because it was kind of lame I can't even lie yeah it wouldn't have worked in the flow of the movie truly from yeah it takes away that way you can't get the hilarious Pizza of the Hut ate himself to death got locked in his car and ate himself I this but it's it's weird cuz it's there's a couple that D like oh this is Stranger Than Fiction moments it that whole Vegas scene just reminded me of Star Wars 8 where they go that whole scene and it like goes nowhere and you're like wait why why did we have this whole thing here yeah what an awful movie I mean it has some really interesting good point moments but yeah it's not a great movie but it's just that it totally cuts that whole FL you

2:00:47 do not need that section in there and that's what it's like that's what happens when you have good film getting there and you're like oh this does not work it just gets on The Cutting Room floor cuz it doesn't work otherwise it destroys the flow right and that would have definitely destroyed the flow that would have been like well this is a nowhere burger for this yeah so but yeah I think that the way they went with that at the end um was so much better though and the other thing is with the whole you're welcome with the dinks all I can hear in my head when that was happening I was like ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding that's all I could think of was what can I say you're welcome I don't know well and it's like the fun part in the movie when they're coming down the hill and they're like d ding D ding ding whole Bridge on the River Qui thing yeah yeah the whole um the ad of you

2:01:42 know what Space Balls the song is going to be you know it's like it's a rocket beat D I'm like all right they understood the assignment when I got to the movie because all I could hear in my head is just that abs absolutely amazing song with very very minimal lyrics yes they even like added in a verse like it was great oh also it was when he also knocks out the guards um that's like a lot more serious and they don't have the the you know the pinch no that's not how you do it not here you gotta move it over here oh yeah that's it that's the spot and then passes out like oh you want to know a fun little tidbit about that in the movie uh yeah that guard is played by an actor named dick Warlock and he was actually Michael Myers in the first Halloween 2 movie that's so funny so another thing speaking of Star Trek references so uh this is Tim Russ's one of Tim Russ's first movies what character did he play he

2:02:45 plays tuac and uh start I know I know that part but I mean in this one oh now there's a part there's a l it's when they're combing the the sand and it's the ad lied ones like have you found anything they're like no you found anything no found anything we ain't found [ __ ] that's him that's Sim yeah that whole scene wasn't in there it was so sad God I'm I'm so sad that part wasn't in there yeah that's one of the best jokes it's one of the best jokes it's so funny do you think we just took this way to literally no no just keep going and they give the black guys the pick instead of the that visual joke is so funny and terrible Mal Brooks we hate that [ __ ] I love that line so much I was sad it wasn't in there it was my one of my favorite lines it just goes to show though like the collaboration of artists like how many of the lines we actually recognize and remember so many of them are not in

2:03:48 the script and that's so crazy to think that um because Kyle you weren't there for the first read but we talked about this with the um the Virgin alarm one it's like the it's set to go off before you do that Line's not in the script you're like that's perfect but it's the perfect line yeah it's it's really funny and also the other one I was missing was like the whole playing with the dolls we were talking about that we were looking forward to that scene all a sudden we get there and it's like no I didn't see you playing with your Dolls against Sarah I was like no I love that scene um I like that the minister stayed the same though like most of the ministers line it's like the the short short version do you do you yeah he pretty much stayed the same yeah yeah and the yeah just some of those Lin some of the stuff is great I mean there's some pretty funny stuff that's in the script too that

2:04:38 you're like oh that's interesting I didn't make it in there I wasn't here for the first part did they did uh King Roland that one part where he still cares about the Mercedes more than his daughter getting back the Mercedes no oh that wasn't in there oh that's funny no King Roland is actually much more caring also the hot coals thing like it's pretty funny because like King Roland cares a lot more about his daughter in the script than he does in the movie yeah he's a lot less like it's fine whatever yeah he's like if you can bring my daughter back but please the Mercedes Mercedes yeah I like how the actions and descriptions still have jokes in them too though you I love all the visual jokes and the action jokes yeah I knew the stunt double joke had to be in the script that's double jok's hilarious yeah well I think we need to make a point of doing a Mel Brooks movie next season and then the following season I

2:05:42 think it's really good to have it like we got Blazing Saddles we've got high anxiety Young Frankenstein yeah history of the world like love history of the world so much hisory of um yeah some some of them you know hold up better than others yeah some of them are not they don't hold up super well but they're still really funny 12 chairs kind of sucks but I haven't seen 12 chairs um Blazing Saddles that ending that ending hits you in the face so hard I'm not going to spoil it for anybody who's watching but it it comes out of nowhere and you feel like you just get punched in the jaw it's really funny we talked about this last time for the first half of this movie but now that we finished it it still hits like we say some of his other movies maybe don't hold up as much nowadays but this one is one of those that still really like even the jokes that take digs aren't super you know like low ball

2:06:53 taking super big cuts at people like it's a very it's a very well comedic piece in terms of like lowball humor you know what I mean it's not yeah where some other stuff you know those Rodney stranger Fields those were those were making me laugh so hard though I was like a this would that was great I'm so glad you took that because you did that more Justice than I you did you did Rodney Dangerfield so good so good I was like oh Rodney just get no respect just love that guy yeah know this was fun it was fun was good that's off for picking it so oh yeah anyone huh go ahead has anyone seen the Star Wars movie Rogue one yes did anyone else noticed they just took the Final Act for that movie from Space Balls like basically everything thing the whole place blowing up the uh you need the handprint of one of the guards coming in through a secret entrance yeah it's basically just the ending of Space Balls I mean it's like

2:08:08 it's a mix almost between like the original and it it seems like it's almost a conglomeration of a couple different movies but yeah I did it it's funny reduce reuse recycle in the in the artw how you do it how you get the best ones except I think there was a little a tiny bit well I like Rog one because there was like a bit of humor a bit of like a lot of seriousness but there was that situational kind of funny humor still that was in there as well that's my only loyalty to it I think I don't think she was in Rogue one she was in Han Solo you're thinking Han Solo Oh I thought no that's uh Felicity in Rogue one Rogue one got I have my movies mixed up sorry I do like the fact that does have a huge mix of um racial backgrounds for characters much unlike unlike classic Sci-fi which tends to be very much traditionally white um you know with a few exceptions here and there um you know but they completely

2:09:23 redid that um and and not just not just Rogue one but quite a lot of Hollywood has been science fiction does that even though you have them written for that like Star Trek that's why Star Trek's one of my favorite sence science fiction series because most of it is is very forward thinking it's it's sci-fi I mean anything goes for a lot of sci-fi universes you know it's like you make your own I love that yeah I love the the Planet of the Apes reference it's so funny well [ __ ] there goes the planet there goes the planet there goes the planet oh that's right I should have done it in that voice I was I couldn't remember what they sounded like so what those coming out of her nose nose oh well [ __ ] that goes the planet could have done it much better okay well next time yeah next next time space ball comes around we'll uh make sure doing that those fa English voices and those Hy toyy English English

2:10:26 accents or never play too shoesday in it oh don't do the Cockney come on what are you trying here mate just stop that's what I like about the you get the chance to you know practice your accents and you might be all over the continent um or the globe as it is is you know with various accents but it's fun and it's safe and it's good practice and also good yeah it's also good practice to act and play the character differently and like not play the character that that you've sung or sung they you've seen like I love that Vicky chose Bar's voice to be like really Gruff like I like that that you did that it was a completely different take on the character and I liked that rather than just seeing John candi's voice John Candy take so I I really liked that um from what I what I saw someone's okay I have to call my mom back um but yeah other than that I thought that was yeah not other than that I mean totally I thought all of it

2:11:35 was great but Tor I loved your Pizza The Hut though I thought you wearing the the outfit was that outfit was really funny thank you that was a very last minute thing I was like Pizza The Hut hang on and I looked over and I was like I have a brown cover we can do this you commit to the bit though I love that hey you can ask cat in the Shakespeare group as well if there's anything I do when it comes to readings I'll commit to the bit I will I love it it's so funny yeah Kyle it was it was great hearing you do your voices too they were really funny like your your different takes on each of the characters yeah I'm really glad he had a chance to join us today so it's always nice to have new voices in here um and uh especially and obviously we have like we had three not show up today so it's nice having to talent to be people to spread out our our too so do we know what next week is Never Ending

2:12:35 Story I'm definitely gonna have to be a part of that one because that's one of my favorite movies ever I I judge everybody I always say this to him like I'm going to judge you on your reaction for that movie and I could only find one script for it and it's um there's very few and description so it I don't think it's exactly a transcription of the movie um but there's because it's it's not written like one but it's definitely very there's no shot numbers and there's it's it's a very different style of script and so much so so few action descriptions we can probably get to the whole thing in one reading even though it is a film so I'll post the script link up on the Facebook page um okay today or tomorrow so you can take a look at it ahead of time but um and again if you have any characters you want to play let me know and we'll see if we can work that work that out because I'm always happy to give people a chance to play

2:13:30 ones that they like or play ones that you know might be a bit of a challenge that's something different than what you usually play um is also you know a good good reason to read out loud and there's not a lot of characters in this in it actually funny enough I mean it seems like there is but there's not lot of small ones lot of small ones a lot of yeah because we have cou just few main characters but they run into a lot of small ones that's that's true like Mor night Catcher And yeah and rock biter yeah it's true they they do run into a lot but I mean there's and there's some really poignant Parts in there too but the main characters are mostly just Tru and Bastion you got Mr coriander see you could tell I really love this movie the horsey scene though makes me cry oh our Tex make that one uh oh gosh oh musically that that movie does not have a lot of music but the music piece hit so hard you feel like there's many

2:14:31 more themes in there than there actually is there's only like six seven just watched it recently and it it still hits just as hard it's every time it hits so hard the very first musical I auditioned for I actually chose the theme song from the never enging story and I got the part so I love it yeah I sing that song all the time lamal if you guys have not seen lal's music video for it watch it it's it's beautiful but it's also freaking hilarious he takes it so seriously it's great it's like it's it's so good Nostalgia anyway well the events for is already posted so you can go ahead and sign up um if you want to join us next week for that and then we should have should have a a break I know because I'm not around to host one so um and then we have a fourth Tuesday coming of at some point um maybe in August because um because I'm not in town on the first or the second or third Thursday Tuesday

2:15:45 whatever but um we'll take a look and see what those are so all right sounds good and any I should probably get going yep me too thanone thank you Cat for hard work and stuff and everything bye everyone all right it was a pleasure was a pleasure pleasure indeed thank you by self-destruct in a few moments no no no thank you thank you thank you all right good night y'all

Questions about this episode

Who speaks in "SPACEBALLS (2nd half)--Table Read Tuesdays"?

Cat Wilson (Host), Vicki Dykes (Guest), Aubrey McCoy (Guest), Tori Estus (Guest), Kyle (Guest).

What is "SPACEBALLS (2nd half)--Table Read Tuesdays" about?

The content features a lively table read of the second half of "Spaceballs," showcasing a diverse group of performers who introduce themselves, their characters, and their social media presence, creating an engaging and collaborative atmosphere. The session involves character portrayals and interactions reflecting the comedic elements of the cult classic film.

What is mentioned in this Table Read Tuesdays episode?

12 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Lone Star, Spaceballs, Dark Helmet, Princess Vespa, Eagle 5, Jerry "the delicious dish" Roland. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "SPACEBALLS (2nd half)--Table Read Tuesdays"?

The episode runs 2 h 16 min; the transcript is about 19,310 words in 111 timestamped sections.

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