Transcript

THE MARVELOUS MRS MAISEL--Table Read Tuesdays

From Table Read Tuesdays · Episode page · Watch on YouTube

· 1 h 58 min · 14,426 words · 81 timestamped sections

This is the full, timestamped transcript of "THE MARVELOUS MRS MAISEL--Table Read Tuesdays", an episode of Table Read Tuesdays published September 18, 2024 (1 h 58 min, about 14,426 words). It mentions 10 people, works and ideas, including Miriam M. Masel, Joel Masel, Penny Pan, Rose Wiseman, Bob Newhart.

What this episode is about

The content features a cast introduction for a table read of "The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel," highlighting the individual actors, their backgrounds, and the characters they will portray. Participants share their social media handles, locations, and roles, creating a collaborative and engaging atmosphere for the reading.

Key takeaways

  • In the world of marriage, ignorance is bliss—who knew champagne could lift you higher than reality?
  • A wedding day triumph masks familial expectations; laughter clinks like forks amidst heavy themes of heritage.
  • Miriam's quest for self-discovery unfolds through mishaps, revealing that even charm has its pitfalls.
  • A butter pat monogrammed 'BM'—because even the simplest things can carry the weight of tradition.
  • In 'The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel', life's script is ever-changing; expect the unexpected, even in a wedding toast.

Who speaks in this episode?

What is discussed, and when

  1. – 10:00: Miriam M. Masel, Joel Masel, Rose Wiseman, Jackson Gray
  2. – 30:00: Joel Masel, The Hidden Persuaders
  3. – 40:00: Rose Wiseman
  4. – 50:00: Bob Newhart, The Ed Sullivan Show
  5. – 1:00:00: Joel Masel
  6. – 1:10:00: Joel Masel, The Hidden Persuaders
  7. – 1:30:00: Penny Pan
  8. – 1:50:00: Penny Pan

Notable quotes from "THE MARVELOUS MRS MAISEL--Table Read Tuesdays"

  • And where people can find you so let's go ahead and start with Judy hi I'm Judy Bell and I'm on most social media platforms except for Tik Tok and it's usually just Judy with…
    about Judy Bell · at
  • Descriptions so that's I love doing that all right see Jackson hello I'm Jackson gray I you can find me on really anything with that name I live in central Alberta and I'm going to be doing actions and.
    about Jackson Gray · at
  • Fad in interior Plaza Hotel Ballroom 1955 we come up on the beaming face of Miriam M masel 20s adorable her eyes sparkle with satisfaction framed by a cloud of tulle her face…
    about Miriam M. Masel · at
  • Meat ourselves does the kar have any IDE idea that the Jews just went through few years ago angle on the wedding table Abe wisan 50s tall lanky with long elegant pianist…
    about Rose Wiseman · at
  • Middle of the wedding table stands and takes a bow to the room best buildup since Iceman Cometh angon M Joel masel was my knight in shining armor a gift from God and he thought I was brilliant flashback to 1955 exterior strip club.
    about Joel Masel · at
  • Comedian give a nice hand for Joel masel a nice round of applause Joel takes the stage thanks a lot so many of you may have read the book The Hidden persuaders about Madison…
    about The Hidden Persuaders · at
  • Counter M comes in Furious you're not going to believe this Bob newart is doing your act what Bob newart he's on The Ed televis Show doing your act he must have come to the club one night and seen you perform Joel goes to the clip Bo and.
    about Bob Newhart · at
  • Husband left me wo okay fine but did I tell you he left me for his secretary she's 21 and dumb as a bag of salt and I'm not naive I know men like stupid girls right but I thought Joel wanted more.
    about Penny Pan · at

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

  • Miriam M. Masel — Person · Fictional protagonist (script character) being read aloud · 1 mention · first at
    Central character of the script reading; her wedding speech, marriage, and early stand-up arc drive the scene selections in this episode.
  • Joel Masel — Person · Fictional supporting character (husband) being read aloud · 5 mentions · first at
    Key relationship conflict: Joel’s stand-up ambitions, joke-stealing, and affair catalyze Miriam’s pivot toward comedy.
  • Penny Pan — Person · Fictional character referenced as Joel’s secretary/affair partner · 3 mentions · first at
    Serves as the named affair partner and a major trigger for Miriam’s on-stage breakdown/first set; also appears in Joel’s office scenes.
  • Rose Wiseman — Person · Fictional character (Miriam’s father) being read aloud · 2 mentions · first at
    Provides family pressure and judgment; his reactions frame Miriam’s crisis and the expectation that she must keep the marriage intact.
  • Bob Newhart — Person · Referenced real-world comedian used as a plot point · 1 mention · first at
    Used to reveal Joel’s joke theft: Miriam recognizes the routine on TV, prompting confrontation and disillusionment.
  • Amy Sherman-Palladino — Person · Referenced creator/writer credited in the script · 2 mentions
    Credited as the writer of the episode/script being read; establishes authorship of the material performed in the reading.
    We'll go back up here to the top then and Vicky when you're ready take it away The Marvelous Mrs masel written by Amy Sherman Paladino the screen is black the sound of a large room of people rustling in their seats a little clinking of to.
  • Judy Bell — Person · Participant/reader (cast member) in the live script reading · 1 mention · first at
    Introduces herself at the top; part of the ensemble performing the table read on YouTube/recording.
  • Jackson Gray — Person · Participant/reader (cast member) in the live script reading · 1 mention · first at
    Introduces himself and states he will read actions/descriptions and major roles including Abe and Susie.

Books & papers

  • The Hidden Persuaders — Book · Referenced work · 2 mentions · first at
    Mentioned in the context of Joel's comedy act, indicating its influence or reference in his material.

Media & podcasts

  • The Ed Sullivan Show — Media · Referenced work · 1 mention · first at
    Referenced as a platform where a comedian performs, highlighting its cultural significance in the era.
    She hears something and glances over at the television angle on the television it's the Ed Sullivan Show the comedian Bob newart is on he's performing one of his routines so listen Abe what's the problem oh you're you're thinking of.

Full transcript with timestamps

window there we are we're live on YouTube mine still says setting up which is weird all right and then I'll hit record and we'll start recording the meeting all right Welcome to our reading of the marvelous Mrs masel you have a small but awesome cast tonight and we'll get right into it with introduction so if could let folks know who you are and um what major characters you're playing if you have any and um where you're from and where people can find you so um let's go ahead and start with Judy hi I'm Judy Bell and I'm on most social media platforms except for Tik Tok and it's usually just Judy with an i j Udi Bell or Judy C Bell that's a middle initial so it's pretty easy somehow I got all of those I live in Los Angeles and I'm generally I was an actress I guess I still am an actress why not but mainly what I do now is producing and line producing cool awesome um let's go down to Vicki hello I'm Vicky Dykes I'm from

central Alberta small town penhold um you can find me on Facebook under the name Vicky dkes and I'm on Instagram I'm yoga Grandma 10 and uh tonight uh the few bigger characters as uh Rose and imagene I just have to mention Bob newart and um Janet Shaw well and a bunch of other little ones you'll see that I'm a a bunch of little ones um uh what else was it ands part oh right I start off the show with actions and descriptions so that's I love doing that all right um see Jackson uh hello I'm Jackson gray um I you can find me on really anything with that name um I live in central Alberta and I'm going to be doing actions and descriptions act uh for like the second second part of it well in the middle actually and then I will be doing Abe and Susie are like my biggest roles and then yeah I think that's it yeah okay thank you and then possibly Joel in the the third part if he show if he has any

lines and I will start off I'm cat Wilson uh gig haror Washington she her and I can be found um when I'm not reading here I can found with the two households in Fair Corona a Shakespeare reading group on satday Saturdays some Saturdays and tonight I'll be reading um your first part of Joel and the last part of action descriptions and a whole bunch of bit characters in between so we'll go ahead and share our script here um see where I where I put it I go to our cast list and then I'll have to switch over to the script there we go all right and then let me make it a little larger for you guys because it's kind of tiny let's see let me get down to an actual SE here well that's good is that too large yeah that's a little too long there we go that's good we'll go back up here to the top then and Vicky when you're ready take it away The Marvelous Mrs masel written by Amy Sherman Paladino the screen is black the sound

of a large room of people rustling in their seats a little clinking of to Forks on CH who gives a toast at her own wedding Fad in interior Plaza Hotel Ballroom 1955 we come up on the beaming face of Miriam M masel 20s adorable her eyes sparkle with satisfaction framed by a cloud of tulle her face is full of perk spunk and complete ignorance that bad things could ever happen because today she has triumphed today is her wedding day I mean who does that who stands in the middle of a ballroom after drinking three glasses of champagne on a completely empty stomach and I mean completely empty because fitting into this dress required no solid food for three straight weeks who does that I do we cut wide the room breaks into Applause the pack ball room is stuffed with guests dressed to the nines flowers candles and GL y snowflakes suspend from the ceiling like it's a magical fairy land mij stands in the middle of this

Fairy Land holding a microphone wearing a perfect satin dress with cap sleeves and kenalin kenalin kenalin this day is perfect it's like a dream or a nightmare if you're my father how much for flowers who eats mushroom caps how much if we cook the meat ourselves does the kar have any IDE idea that the Jews just went through few years ago angle on the wedding table Abe wisan 50s tall lanky with long elegant pianist fingers and a vague look of disappointment constantly on his face six next to his wife Rose Wiseman 40s petite lovely elegantly dressed dramatic Abe shrugs well it works angle on M but this day has been long in the planning anyone who knows me knows I plan I think long game at 6 I decided Russian literature would be my major at 12 I found my signature haircut at 13 I announced I was going to brinmar University angle on the wedding table based on nothing thing she moves to Pennsylvania angle on mge from day one I

knew that decision was a Charmed One flashback interior Bren Mah dining room 1951 girls pour in nervously looking for their place cards at the tables freshman mijch walks in and takes in the room first of all my roommate Petra was friendly and fat which was perfect I'll have someone to eat with but she won't steal my boyfriend a chubby sweet faac girl joins Miriam's side M smells so good the two girls make their way over to a table and search for their name cards they sit and Petra grabs a Bread Basket the campus was old and elegant with Ivy covered buildings stained glass windows and mij glances down at the table and sees a butter Pat on a tiny butter China dish with the initials BM carved elaborately in the center monogrammed butter Pats what ooh Petra stabs the butter Pat and smears it on her roll back to the wedding and we got them every single day at every single meal this was a magical

place a place where butter was beautiful and I would learn everything where would I solve the mysteries of the universe and meet brilliant women Kindred Spirits who would explore these Brave New worlds with me flashback interor dorm room 1953 night three girls including mijch sit on lawn chairs wearing only their bras with white foamy peroxide on their heads and a foamy peroxide triangle on their vaginas three other girls stand over them with Japanese paper fans Fanning their heads and hooa furiously oh my God why is it burning it's supposed to it's bleach it's awful I hate you for that it was your idea never listen to me I'm nuts why aren't you in pain I'm from Kansas I don't know what that means how much longer 10 minutes toim crickets mij jumps up and runs out of the room where are you going the girls rush over to the window and push it open mij through the window they see mij run out on the long

how long 188 minutes holy fuzzy Christ balls Mitch runs in circles outside the window her friends laugh back to wedding but all these Marvelous Adventures were simply the preamble to my ultimate Destiny I was going to meet a man a perfect man he would be 6'4 blonde and his name would be deselle or Stafford or flashback to 1954 a midsized darkhaired judicially handsome boy Smiles Joel Joel masel back to wedding table the room applauds and laughs Joel sitting in the middle of the wedding table stands and takes a bow to the room best buildup since Iceman Cometh angon M Joel masel was my knight in shining armor a gift from God and he thought I was brilliant flashback to 1955 exterior strip club night the Marquee reads best burlesque on the East Coast he took me to galleries poetry readings Greek dramas interior strip club continuous Joel and mij sit at a sticky table watching a stripper gyate

on stage she hits a twirling cando that sends one tringe tassel flying into the audience the room applauds and whistles she heads off stage MCH rushes over picks up the P pasty off the floor and runs up to the stage and waves it at the retreating stripper Excuse Me Miss Miss the stripper turns and comes back thanks TS mijch takes her seat and turns to Joel she's gonna need that a ragged looking MC comes out on stage Misty dreams ladies and gentlemen 18 years old in dog years Rim shot okay I'm going to leave the jokes to this next young man just out of the merchant marines or some patriotic like that please welcome Lenny Bruce angle on M and Joel this is the guy I wanted you to see no way he's funnier than Misty Lenny Sor way he's funnier than Misty sorry about that bad delivery Lenny Bruce young healthy beginning of his career comes on stage thank you nice to be back in witcha oh this isn't

witch well whatever I wherever I am so I'm me I'm reading the papers today and I see a story there were kids eight or and nine-year-olds that were si uh SI sniffing playing glue airplane glue to get high on it these kids are responsible for turning musicians onto a lot of things they never knew about actually so I I had a fantasy how it happened kids uh kid is alone in his room it's Sunday or Saturday kids kid is playing by George mccre well let's see now I'm all alone in the room and it's Saturday I'm I'll make an airplane that's what I'll do I'll make the long lacaster good structural design I'll get the base uh sorry I'll get the base wood here cut it out sand it off now a little plain glue I'll rub it it onto the rag and hey now oh I'm getting loaded Joel glances at mij she's clearly now a fan he smiles oh the things Joel taught me exterior Park night Joel is screwing mge up against a tree oh you know what I

want please don't say a virgin I want to make you laugh every day of your life okay but you realize you said that while you were still in me right we'll talk later as he pumps away mijch lifts up her hand and admires a brand new engagement ring sparkling on her finger mij at the wedding I have been very lucky I have wonderful parents I have lived a comfortable life and though I knew that love would be great I had no idea it would be anything that could justify what I paid for this dress angle on MCH oh wait what about a what I pay for that dress oh oh Ang on the wedding table what I paid for that dress angle on MCH and because it's better than anything I could have imagined I thought I should get up here and tell all of you that I love this man and yes there is shrimp in the egg rolls a loud roar of laughter and outrage filled the room miam a rabbi wait oh don't leave the room is chaos AB

was was arguing with the ancient man you show me the Bible where God says you can't have shrimp Leviticus whatever does not have fins or scales you shall not eat but didn't he say shrimp the madness continues as mij and Joel smile at each other we pan up taking in the chaos of the whole room dissolved to four years later exterior upper wests side day Anthony new's on a wonderful day like today plays as we catch mijch walking purposely down the street stylish great hair a woman on a mission interior bercher shop continuous mge bounces in the place is crowded ly we got the rabbi mid shoves her way to the counter luty nerman the butcher is at the other end helping a lady he rushes over to at Mage what how when we heard today my mother fainted then called four people then fainted again this year on yum kapor the rabbi will be breaking fast at our house you're going to need some lamb the rabbi

loves his lamb the customer luty was waiting on calls out excuse me I was in the middle of ordering here I'm so sorry what were you getting pork chops put our pork chops on my tab I still can't believe it the rabbis been mad at us since the wedding it took four years of apologies and $600 worth of new yamas but we finally got the bastard disgraceful you like your free pork chops oops you like your free pork chops zip it then I have to go delivery Thursday after 10: I grabbed a couple of black and white MCH oh sorry I got ahead myself go ahead mijch head out we got the rabbi exterior elegant Manhattan Westside apartment building early evening MCH marches in interior building Lobby continuous the dman Roberto 60s dashing in his uniform greets her warmly Roberto I got you a black and white well thank you you Mrs ma uh masel the elevator opens an ancient operator sits on a stool mij sweeps into

it Jerry nice tie I got you a black and white the elevator closes interior hallway moments later the elevator doors open mij parades over to her apartment 9C and goes in interior apartment continuous a spacious stylish flower-filled living room clearly there's some money here mijch heads into the kitchen interior kitchen same time mijch goes to the oven takes out a brisket and test it perfect you are perfect hello interior American Plastics Incorporated same time Joel sits at his desk in his gleaming corner office we will intercut for the remainder of the phone call yeah tell everyone about the rabbi what am I a brager please how's work I believe something got sold today how's the brisket I'm buying it a sash and a crown good we'll need it I got a terrible stage time for tonight 1:45 yikes I bowed out of my lunch meeting and got downtown as quickly as I could but that guy that runs The Gaslight

baz you must learn his name fine baz still gave me the crappiest time he hates me don't worry we'll fix that oh he doesn't see me as a real comedian I mean I'm not a real comedian yet but if you just give me a better time we will fix it 145 no one is there at 145 they're not oh well then we'll fix it oh I don't know what I'd do without you you'd go on at 1:45 by Bye by bye mijch hangs up and puts the brisket back in the oven exterior Midtown office building early evening so the waiter says Fine interior Joel's office early evening Joel walks Mitchell fun a portly red-faced businessman over to the door while finishing a joke I'll try it I'll try it he looks at the bowl and says where the hell is a spoon and the customer says aha so he didn't bring him a spoon Mitchell busts up and that's why he didn't eat the soup no spoon you can't eat a soup with no spoon oh boy that's a good joke there Joel

opens the door Penny blonde young with a pleasant slightly vacant face sits at the desk outside Penny can you walk Mitchell down to Al's office Al can take you to the specs okay boy I'll be laughing about that spoon one for weeks Joel waves him off and closes the door he takes a deep reliev breath and goes to his desk desk opens a drawer and pulls out a black turtleneck he goes to his coat closet opens it up and looks at himself in a mirror inside the door he takes off his coat and tie and shirt and pulls on the sweater and then runs his fingers through his hair to loosen it up a bit Archie Harryman late 20s with the same corporate look that Joel is trying to shed comes in um Jackson can you take Archie for this scene I saw font heading down the hall oh I sent him over to Al he's fine you're going to you're going down the uh to the Village tonight M will be here any minute Joel masel king of comedy all

right all right IM imagene is dying to see you act oh I tell her I don't know why I see you acting ridiculous all day long very amusing can I use that seriously when can we come a small knock at the door Mitch now dressed in her downtown Outfit Black petal pushers sleeveless black sweater ballet flats and a scarf tied through her hair Pops in holding a Pyrex of brisket in her hands I have a cab waiting downstairs hi Archie why'd you have him wait we could have gotten another cab I know but the driver's having trouble with his marriage and I hated to send him off like that Joel grabs his coat and they all head out well come next week next week why not interior main area continuous Joel and Mitch come out of his office good night Penny Joel heads off mijch glances at who is slowly putting pencils into an electric pencil sharpener though not quite far enough to get the job done and she shakes her head

sad thing she follows Joel exterior Midtown office building moments later Barber Stans in Old pin PL pein plays M and Joel rush into the waiting cab exterior green witch Village night the night life of Bohemian green witch Village is out in full force sidewalk kiosk selling anything you can think of young hip people in jeans hang out with Old Timers and fedoras communist cards in their wallets people fight smoke laugh there's music coming from somewhere the smell of pot and unwashed Men fill the air we find our cab turning into onto McDougall mid's face is plastered to the window taking in everything she can the cab pulls over over in front of The Gaslight Cafe mijch gets out with the brisket Joel hands a cabie money they head down the stairs into The Gaslight interior Gaslight continuous a dark and Smoky basement turned basket house The Gaslight Cafe is a performing space for singers poets

performance artists comedians if you have a monkey who does a great Brando impression bring him down a flight of narrow stairs descend from the street and dump you out in the middle of a room crowded with tables and chairs along the wall to your left is a long beat up wood bar where people can sit and Order coffee directly opposite the stairs across the room is a stage with the microphone and stool and to the left is the wall where the performers tend to hang out currently on stage a trio sings a version of good Night Irene mij and Joel come down the stairs packed house won't be at 1:45 oh my god with the one track mine go sit let the master work Joel heads off to find a table mijch goes over to the bar she finds an empty seat at the very end of the bar she sets a brisket down sits and looks around a phone on the wall right behind the bar Rings it rings again and again and again and a tiny Stout woman with badly cropped

hair and a stained Gaslight Cafe t-shirt angrily pushes past mge and grabs the phone what gasl what yes we're open don't don't know well when everyone's gone Susie Myerson 30 slams the phone down Dr Su should find uh should find a vaccine for Mor morningin Mor morons morons she turns around and notices mijch staring at her yes I'm looking for baz back to this back to the right I can wait till he's done is that the brisket it's for baz baz O'Neal 40s a bear of a man and the owner of the place ambles over holding a beat up Ledger oh did we pay for the coffee guy yes where in here does it say that Jesus baz just find it that's looking for you by the way Susie opens The Ledger baz looks at mij and smiles hello mijch it's that I made my brisket so I'm guessing your husband doesn't like his time slot tonight no he loves his time slot he loves any time slot but see there's a tiny problem our daughter is sick ear a and and 14 is

just so late I didn't know what to do so I thought maybe you could move him earlier did you did just didn't your son get the measles last week what oh yeah yes he did and the week before that your mother had RI uh riets she did so painful last month your sister-in-law broke her toe your brother threw up uh thre wrote her back his back that's a lot of health issues your family might want to uh eat some fruits or something I'll take that into consideration okay 10:30 really next time I'd like some laas lackas I make great lockas genius lockas you won't be sorry Mitch heads off triumphantly angle on Joel sitting at a table anxiously smoking and drinking coffee mijch drops down in the chair next to him 10:30 you're kidding where's my kiss a he should be kissing the brisket Joel kisses her cheek and then happily takes his notes out interior Gaslight Cafe later we pan over the audience the place is even more

crowded now we land on the MC on stage the next ACT is a nice clean cut young man your mother would love him he's a comedian give a nice hand for Joel masel a nice round of applause Joel takes the stage thanks a lot so many of you may have read the book The Hidden persuaders about Madison Avenue's marketing men and how they create the public personas we all learn to know and trust and vote for well what if during the Civil War there was no Lincoln what if they had to create him this is a telephone conversation between Abe Lincoln and his press agent just before Gettysburg Mitch takes a small worn notebook and pen out of her purse hi Abe sweetart how are you kid how's Gettysburg sort of a drag huh audience laughs Mitch writes it down in the book well Abe you know them small Pennsylvania towns you've seen one you've seen them all a good laugh Mitch writes it down what's the problem you're thinking

of Shaving it off ah Abe don't you see that's part of the image right with the Shaw and the stove pipe hat and the string tie you don't know the Sha another laugh mij happily writes it down he's doing well tonight mij happily scans the room to watch the audience reacting to him suddenly she stops scanning angle on Susie Susie leans against the performer's hangout wall watching Joel she's not smiling angle on mge the smile slowly Fades from her face as she watches Susie watching Joel where's the shaw Abe you left it in Washington what are you wearing Abe a sort of Cardigan angle on Susie the audience laughs Susie shakes her head uh disgusted angle on Mitch she frowns what the hell did the headshake mean Abe don't you see that doesn't fit with the string tie and beard Abe which you leave the beard on and get the shaw huh the audience Laughs Again Susie walks off disgusted Mitch tries to shake

it off and refocus on her book exterior Gaslight Cafe later Mitch and Joel come up the stairs and Joel is in great spirits counting some money in his hand $3.30 and one subway token oh I'll I'll take the token huh tonight was great I kill in a good time slot kill I need an audience oh I feed off an audience I finished people start to leave did you see that I almost left myself 10:30 perfect slot give me that time slot again next time hey Mitch turns startled Susie comes up holding the Pyrex here saw your act she stares at him for a long uncomfortable beat and then turns back to mij don't forget the lackes Susie leaves who's that guy she works there only in the village Joel steps out to hail a cab interior cab night Joel is drifting off to sleep on mid's shoulder she's going over his act in the notebook you got three more laughs tonight than you did last time and a couple of extra like laugh ATS I I don't

know what she was shaking making her head for nothing you were great I was great you know you don't really say hello to the audience maybe you should write a beginning something that says who you are or something what do you think Joel is asleep Mitch sits there a beat and then she starts to write in the notebook good evening thank you for the nice good evening ladies and gentlemen what a nice nice is a bad bad word all that Applause for me what am I putting out after one standing ovation everyone goes home pregnant Mitch Smiles at her own little joke interior mij and Joel's bedroom later that night Joel and mij are getting into bed Mitch's hair and makeup are still night out perfect maybe you could do Impressions to start you do a great one of my aunt Bera ordering dinner you know a garnish can be festive but deadly Joel Smiles at her gives her a kiss good night Gracie good night Gracie Joel

turns over and closes his eyes mijch lays there a beat Joel starts to snore mijch glances over makes sure J's asleep and quietly slips out of bed interior bathroom moments later mijch snaps the light on goes to the sink and takes off her eyelash takes her eyelashes off mijch washes her face Mitch pins pin curls her hair Mitch wraps her pin curled hair and toilet paper Mitch Co creams her face interior bedroom moments later Mitch carefully slips back into bed she glances at Joel he's dead asleep she settles in and closes her eyes exterior Upper West Side Dawn the almost empty streets are starting to stir interior bedroom same time M blinks her eyes open she quickly peeks over her shoulder Joel is dead asleep mijch slips out of bed interior bathroom moments later Mitch takes the Cal cream off her face she applies powder lashes and lipstick mij unwraps the toilet paper from her head mijch unpins her pin curls

mijch brushes her hair and Miss herself with perfume interior bedroom moments later mge carefully slips back into bed gently puts her head back down on the pillow and closes her eyes beat the alarm clock goes off Joel wakes up he stretches and then glance over glances over at MCH sleeping he shakes her hey morning Midge wakes up slowly she turns to him did the alarm go off it sure did he kisses her and smiles wow I didn't hear it at all you never do Joel gets out of bed Mitch Smiles it worked again interior living room morning emerges from the bedroom perfectly dressed in a perky sleeveless dress she heads to the kitchen interior kitchen moments later mij finishes washing the Pyrex she drives it low uh lovingly and dries it lovingly and puts it back on the proper shelves above the stove interior living room moments later mij sweeps through the room and exits interior hallway continuous mij

goes over to the elevator and pushes the button beat the door opens an ancient uh Jerry is on his stool morning Jerry the door closes interior elevator continuous yesterday that was a good cook I'm so glad M glances up at the elevator number angle on the numbers uh 10 lights up 11 lights up 12 lights up ding see you later Jerry the doors open mij walks out interior hallway continuous mij walks over to the apartment 12C and walks on in interior weselman apartment continuous mij waon hello it's me Zelda the weselman uh crispy uniformed maid comes out morning Miss Miriam can I get you some coffee oh yes Zelda please mij walks over to the den this is ab's room or domain big leather chair and his baby grand uh piano the door is open Abe sits reading the paper Ethan Ethan M mid's three-year-old son lays on the floor across uh also reading the paper morning Papa hey nods but keeps reading morning Ethan Ethan just keeps

reading his paper morning Ethan Ethan Ethan Ethan oh never mind mid starts off Rose walks up in the feather uh in a feather trimmed Satan satin Satan satin satin Satin dressing Gro uh grown gr grown go like something out of sorry my bad something out of a of out of n MGM musical did you get coffee and a great welcome from my son man thanks for taking the kids last night were they okay ah we need to talk about the baby why what's the matter with her interior bedroom continuous very pink very feminine very rose rose and mij enter and walk over to the ba uh the bassinet that forehead is not improving Rose lifts uh Esther one out of uh out and lays her down on the bed what are you sure it's getting bigger the whole face will be out of proportion but look at her nose it's it's elongating now see the nose is not the problem the nose you can fix but this gigantic forehead well there's always bangs I'm

not I'm just afraid that she's not a very pretty girl Mama she's a baby I just want her to be happy it's easier to be happy when you're pretty you're right bangs will help Mitch picks up the baby they start out uh start out of the room how did Joel's little show go it went very well I still don't understand this whole thing who was he performing for anyone who shows up and they pay you they pass a basket around at the end of your set and whatever's in it you get to take home if you need money oh we can give you money we don't need money Joel is funny and he likes to do his comedy but how long are you going to be doing this I mean running a around at night taking money from strangers like a snorer as long as it's fun H six to nine more months left on those arms really I've been doing those exercises with the Soup cans forget the cans buy a bolero they exit interior living room continuous mid and Rose walk in

Ethan let's go is everything ordered for next week yes all done I thought we do dinner at your place your dining room is bigger than ours our dining room is fine if you don't entertain well it's fine Ethan comes out M puts Esther in a straddle stroller I'll call you later bye Papa say goodbye Ethan Ethan Ethan never mind mij pushes the stroller and Ethan out the door interior mid's living room evening mij stands in the middle of the room wearing a black leotard and black tights uh measuring uh measuring her ankles with the with a tape measure her friend imagene is uh sprled sprled out of the couch on out on the couch and picture of dakes thank you d uh de dearies and a couple of glasses sitting on the coffee table the television is on please IM imag you had it right imagene okay imagene is a round faac slightly dizzy lady mid 20s who is probably never going to lose going to lose that last bit of baby weight she

has a pen and a thick black leather binder on her lap so she's going on and on about this miracle treatment she had done in Mexico it involv goats milk and avocados right ankle six left ankle six they smear it on your face write a hot towel around wrap a hot towel around your head and put you in a boat right calf 13 left calf 12 12 and 3/4 then they roll you out to sea right th 15 and a half drop the anchor and you sit there for four hours then left thigh 16 they roll you back in and hips 35 they scrape you down waste 28 slap you in the face with an old B skin bust 36 and charge you $75 and send you home she thinks she looks 20 I think she looks the same oh God you're so tiny how long have you been measuring yourself like this every day for 10 years even when you were pregnant God there's not enough Jackies in the world there you are are you hungry I made Curry and ordered Chinese in case

it's awful oh I'm sure it's fine did we have children they're upstairs hi imagene oh hey Joel did you hear we're coming downtown to see you tomorrow night we're very excited oh don't expect too much gohe heads into the kitchen oh you'd better be great I'm going to wear a beret see you tomorrow imagene gets up grabs her purse and coat goodbye CH Imaging exits oh the curry is terrible we'll have to take the takeout mij slips her uh sips her drink she hears something and glances over at the television angle on the television it's the Ed Sullivan Show the comedian Bob newart is on he's performing one of his routines so um listen Abe um what's the problem oh oh you're you're thinking of Shaving it off um Abe don't you see that's part of the image right with shawl and stove pipe hat and and oh string tie Angela M she sits up oh oh oh oh you don't have the Sha okay um where's the sh oh you left it in Washington H and

what are you wearing Abe a sword of Cardigan angle on Mid she frowns Joel she gets up and heads into the kitchen Joel interor kitchen moments later Joel is eating Chinese takeout for from the counter M comes in Furious you're not going to believe this Bob newart is doing your act what what Bob newart he's on The Ed televis Show doing your act he must have come to the club one night and seen you perform Joel goes to the clip Bo and starts looking for something and now he's on television doing it just like you do well it's a little different because he does it faster which is better actually that's beside the point Joel pulls out a bow and dumps a container of rice into it I'm mad aren't you mad oh mijch relax you're not mad no or stunned Joel grabs a fork from the drawer not even mildly beused it's his act I don't I don't what are you going to put the rest of this on a platter how is it his act how did you

know his act Joel goes back to the clipboard and looks for platter I've got his record so you you stole Bob newarts act it's fine everybody does it everybody steals his act yes well no well not steals borrows oh it's no big deal it's not when I found out June fredman used my meatloaf recipe I almost stabbed her in the eye with a fork everybody in comedy steals borrows oh borrows everybody else's jokes especially at the beginning I mean Bob newart probably used Henny youngman's stuff when he started well that's how it's done oh well if that's how it's done it is I thought you'd written it that act I feel a little silly now well I I did put my spin on it yes you slowed it down down and my inflection is different right well I'm new to this so well you'll learn yeah I guess so Joel gathers up the food and forks and knives you want a drink he heads out sure I guess I should go apologize to June Freeman now mijch St uh stands

there feeling slightly disappointed exit up uh exterior Upper West Side afternoon the streets are bust bustling the leaves are turning a breeze blows orange and gold leaves through the air interior a uh kitchen afternoon uh mij is wrapping wrapping the measuring tape around Esther's forehead the phone rings mijch answers it hello how's brisket is it okay do you know something I don't yeah interior Joel's office continuous Joel's places uh Joel's Paces clearly a agon agitated AG agitated that's okay we will inter cut for the remainder of the phone call just answer the question Mitch yes it's fine what's the matter I had to work straight through lunch so I couldn't get downtown to get a time for tonight tonight understand tonight yes I understand Archie and Emma are coming remember of course I remember they're coming tonight and I don't have a time you know what what cancel them tell them

I'm sick but they've got a babysitter it's all arranged I I should have changed that lunch damn it Jo Joel come on I promise you'll get on I'll bring the brisket I'll do my thing everything will be fine okay oh okay hey remember this whole comedy thing it's supposed to be fun that's why we do it right you'll have to you'll have to bring my show sweater oh I left it at home I can do that and you have to be here right at 6 I will be on time okay oh oh I should go hang uh mij hangs up and turns back to Esther your daddy's crazy now let's measure that forehead interior cab evening mij dressed in her downtown clothes expects for uh expects for the addition of a short jacket pulls up in the cab it'll just be a minute the doors fly open and Joel gets out uh gets in and slams the door geez where the hell have you been it's 6:30 I'm sorry I do you have my sweater you didn't have to stand out there I would have come up if you get

here at 6 You' come up are you kidding me what holes holes everywhere what I can't believe you didn't look at it before you left the house I was in a hurry to meet you you can hardly see them hardly see look a hole there a hole here two holes here I mean how does this happen it was probably a moth a moth yes what moth Ted it was Ted The Moth dim size hold that's his signature you think this is funny I think it doesn't matter I'm going on stage with holes in my shirt like a it's downtown if you have under on you're overdressed Joel shoots her a look exterior glass light Gaslight Cafe night the cab pulls up mid and Joel now in his holy sweater gets out and hurries into the C Club interior glasslight Cafe moments later Joel and mij come down to the usual Smokey packed room hey why don't you talk about it about what about your sweater you know joke about it in your act it would be fun personal yours I don't

know great they're here okay Joel why don't you go join them get some coffee calm down and I'll go deal with this okay fine hurry Joel walks off mij and the brisket make their way over to the bar there's no baz in sight but Susie sits there working the books mij walks up to her excuse me is baz around nope uh do you know where he is the perhaps he's out do you know when he'll be back nope nope well excuse me see my husband Joel masel over there okay he couldn't get away from work to come down here earlier for a time to perform he's a comedian anyhow it was a crazy day to worky tonight our best friends came the GES the gers are here you're kidding where over there well I'll be damned that is exciting the GES wow anyhow I was wondering if you could find a way to give my husband a Time preferably before 11:30 why isn't he over here what Mr Saturday nights wasn't it uh why isn't he asking for the time why are you

asking for the time well I have the brisket huh Susie goes back to her work so anything you could do would be great so thanks mij hesitates a beat then gives up and uh and heads off angle on Joel Archie and in ad imri table that looks like Alan Ginsburg imagene doesn't that look like Alan Ginsburg everyone here looks like Ellen Ginsburg mij walks up hey there kitten mijch kisses them and sits down and this place is perfectly filthy you should see the bathroom don't go in the bathroom well now I'm definitely going in the bathroom the waitress puts down for uh four cappucinos yeah Joel digs in her pocket Oh no I got this a starving artist never pays I'm not a starving artist your sweater tells a different story here you go so what did he say uh he wasn't here but the lady said she'd work it out a Flo uh folky Trio takes the stage I want a real drink there's a bar next door you want to get a drink right

behind you I swear that's Alan Ginsburg the men exit he's ch yes well show is the ladies laugh that is the cutest Belo thanks my mother got it for me interior glasslight Cafe much much later M Joel and ingri sits uh sits many cigarettes crushed out in their ashtray Joel's mood is getting darker by the moment Mage nervously checks her watch Archie rejoins them it's not Alan skins when the hell am I going on I don't know soon hang on the stage the MC Gets behind the mic next up a lady fresh off some boat from somewhere Janet Shaw the scrawny girl whose Hair Skin and dress are remarkably all the same color takes the stage this poem is about Spokan Spokan Spokan Spokan man angle on table Joel shoots mid mij a look I'll be right back mij rushes off angle on the bar mij walks up to the waitress making a coffee where is she H the one who looks like she lives here under lives under a bridge oh Susie oh

she went out do you know where um God no who would ask angle on the table Archie and Ingrid are standing putting their coats on any minute now kitten we're gonna have to take a rain check it was a blast though please wait just a few oh we're going to what we can't go I have an early morning

meeting Joe I say we just tell everyone it was alen Ginsburg suy walks by y you're up she's off what what did she say I think she said you're up oh goodie hang on stage thank you Janet Shaw don't need to go to Spokane now next up ah comedian oh hey angle on our forsome Archie sits down that's you well go be funny Joel masel Archie and imri whoop it up woo up seeing No Way Out Joel heads up on stage mij gets out her notebook angle on stage Joel Gets behind the mic he clearly a bit he's clearly a rattled thank you uh thanks um Joel looks nervously at Mitch she smiles incouraged so exciting H so my sweater um it's a new sweater but I asked my wife uh to bring it to me uh because I I work during the day so she does and I put it on and holes holes in my sweater no laughs ingri and Archie glance at each other so I ask how did this happen and she says Mo and I'm like Ms what Ms and she says Ted P them

off silence a cough more silence he's very evant card mij Smiles weily then looks back at Joel panicked mortified and heartbroken all at once that was uh just something that um you know happened okay uh so uh anyhow uh this is a press agent talking to a Lincoln hey Abe sweetheart how's uh um oh uh did anyone read the hidden persuaders I it's about marketing agents and they had to create AB Lincoln oh I mean if they had to create AB Lincoln the book's not about that I mean this fit anyhow hey Abe sweetheart how Gettysburg kind of a drag huh Archie slumps in his seat ingre tugs at her breath uh breit brette Beret beray mij watches m misery Mis miserably miserably thans as Joel continues to go down in flames inter your cab later that night and Joel sit in silence for a beat you told me to talk about my sweater I know I just thought you put it in some sort of joke form or something sorry the drive on uh the

drive on in silence mij takes out the notebook don't she puts the notebook away no more talking tonight inter your bedroom night Joel pulls the turtleneck sweater off and throws it in the corner he sits on the edge of his bed mij walks in can I get you anything Joel doesn't answer mij heads into the bedroom interior or bathroom interior bathroom continuous M midges sink down onto the uh her V vanity stool she kicks off her shoes and sits in sits there miserably after a beat she takes a deep breath gets up and starts undressing interior bedroom a little later mij now in her night gown hair and makeup still evening perfect comes out of the bathroom she sees something and stops in her tracks what are you doing joelish stuffing stuffing clothes into a suitcase on the bed he looks at her and stops I have to go mid stares at him confused I have to leave M stares at him still confused you I have to leave you

beat that's my suitcase it is you're leaving me with my suitcase Joel looks at the floor but tomorrow's young kapor Joel I'm I'm not happy no one's happy it's y kapor I don't know how to do this I'm not good at things like this things like what like leaving me yes well then don't practice a little do it later when you're more confident about the moves Mitch Joel the rabbi's coming I know he is five years we've been trying to get the rabbi this year we we get him we got him we got the rabbi oh go no please I don't understand I thought my life was going to be something different I thought I was going to be someone different but tonight was just so terrible I mean a room full of people just watching me Bomb It was one stupid night and I'm up there dying and I'm thinking about last week we're in Temple and the r Rabbi tells that stupid Sodom and gomorra joke and suddenly the the whole synagogue

goes nuts so he got more laughs in five minutes than I did in five months you were jealous of the rabbi he was in bucken wall throw a bone did you ever think you were supposed to be something and then you suddenly realized you're not yes married good that's good oh you're good Joel please I'm never going to be a professional comedian mij never well of course not what do you mean of course not what do you mean what do I mean what did you think all those nights at the club were I thought they were fun they were our fun couples thing you know like how the Morgan Sterns play golf or how the Myers ballroom dance or how the Levens pretend they're from Warsaw once a week to get 10% off of that polish restaurant that has kabasa nights I can't believe this I never knew you were serious about it of course I was serious Miriam what the hell ever made you think I wasn't serious well for starters you were doing someone else's

act I told you everybody does that when they start if you really wanted to be a comedian you should have written WR a joke I tried with the Ted thing I wrote the Ted thing and it bombed because you killed it oh forget it Joel come on you have a job but comedy was a dream do you know what a dream is a dream is what keeps you going in a job you hate since when do you hate your job do you know what I do image you're the Vice President in charge of no I I mean do you know what I do every day day in and day out what the actual physical mations of my job are no neither do I I take meetings and make phone calls I shuffle paper around and I have no idea what the hell I actually do well maybe if you did you'd like it more I just thought with the brisket and the notebook I thought that you understood I'm sorry yeah me too but Joel you can't just leave I love you we have a home we have children they're going to

notice I have to go no wait please I'll be better I'll do better I'll pay more attention you can quit your job you can go to the club every night I'll buy more notebooks and I've been having an affair the wind is knocked right out of her it's been going on for months and I thought it was a phase but now who Penny your secretary you're leaving me for the girl who can't figure out how to sharpen a pencil it's not about her and and it was a new sharpener it was electric all she had to do was push don't you understand I need to start over with her she wins this isn't a contest I just don't want this life this whole upper west side classical six best seats in Temple wife two kids I just don't want it Joel ster a beat so you'll tell your parents for me mij starts to laugh though her through her tears that might be the funniest thing you've ever said honey I'm tomorrow's yoke and poor I have 30

people in a rabbi coming for dinner and this is the moment you pick to tell me you're going to March off into the sunset with your short bus secretary can I just say that you have the worst timing ever I'm sorry go leave buy some pens on the way home you'll need them Joel looks at her sadly a beat he closes up the suitcase I'm not proud of myself oh well as long as you're not proud interior or Joel walks out of the bedroom Mage trails around him interor living room continuous without show slowing down or looking back Joel walks walks uh out the front door mid reaches uh reaches the door and grabs it before it closes she sees Joel walk down the hallway to to the elevator and presses the button mijch can't watch the rest she closes the door oh out in the hallway we hear a ding of the elevator ding evening Mr masel going on a trip mid mid uh n uh nly nly walks num num walks into the dining room the table is already set

for Yam yamber rabbis uh dinner the following night China silver beautiful crisp linen flowers and rabbis chair of honor at the head of the table mij grabs a bottle of wine off the table and heads into the interior kitchen continuous where she grabs a bottle uh a bottle opener off the sink and opens the wine she pours some wine into the glass and knocks it back she pours again and knocks it back suddenly something catches her eye an empty shelf the Shelf where the part porx porx usually ISX yeah she looks around she doesn't see it she frowns she thinks she remembers exterior apartment building night it's raining and miserable out Roberto stands by the entrance doors having a smoke mid a coat thrown over her night gown and a wine bottle still in her hand walks out Roberto spots her and rushes over uh Mrs ma uh masel are you all right do you need a cab nope GNA take the subway it's miserable out there out here

it's miserable in there too mij heads off to the subway interior subway car night close on mij drinking straight from the bottle we widened to reveal other writers watching her nervously even the scary ones are slowly moving away from her interior Gaslight Cafe night the crowd has thinned out a bit from earlier a very soggy and slightly Tipsy mge makes her way down the stairs she walks over to the board waitress at the bar I left my pirx here and I'd like it back your what Pyrex my Pyrex nope it's a Pyrex you keep saying that but Pyrex a glass baking dish very durable can go from hot to cold without cracking we don't serf food here I know it's not yours it's mine I brought it here why I made a brisket for is that really important right now my dishes here are like it back can you make that happen where is it I don't know I had hoped you'd have a clue I don't hey have you ever thought about

being a secretary the waitress looks at her a beat where do you wash the coffee cups in the back Mitch Smiles at her well this place gets so weird late the waitress pulls herself off the stool and begrudgingly ambles off mij sits exhausted the young fragile sad poet finishes and the room applauds half-heartedly mij takes the last Swig from her bottle it's empty she sigh and puts it on the bar and the MC takes the stage again well that was deep Christian I think who knows okay um next up um um hang on folks I'll be right back he gets off the stage Dy where's my set list the audience starts talking amongst themselves Midge eyes fixed on the stage slowly gets up and steps upon it almost as if in a trance she walks around taking it in she stops facing away from the audience so this is it huh the audience starts to notice her this is is the dream standing up here on this filthy sticky stage all

alone if you couldn't have that you didn't want me was that it Joel beat who's Joel Mitch turns around startled not realizing she was being watched there's a bright Spotlight on her and she blinks partially blinded oh what who's Joel my husband a man with the blonde woman calls out we can't hear you oh sorry uh Joel is my husband of five years and tonight he left an in the audience woo thank you thank you very much yep he left Joel left he packed up my suitcase and left I had to tell the rabbi he got lime disease and was at the hospital for a shot he made me lie to the rabbi onon kapor couldn't get a clean slate for one day I don't understand what's going on me either sister me either angle on the bar Susie ambles in from the back she freezes stunned to see mijch on stage angle on mijch so many questions spinning in my head why did he leave why wasn't I enough why didn't they put the stage over there on that

wall instead of here by the bathroom so you wouldn't have to listen to every giant bow movement that takes place in there oh yeah clear as a bell hangle on Susie she's fascinated now back to MCH I'm sorry I'm a little drunk and my brain is spinning everything I had counted on is gone a guy comes out of the bathroom you feeling better now I uh so my life completely F oh I know you're supposed to I'm just interrupting him anyway go ahead the audience laugh they think it's a performance now so my life completely fell apart today did I mention that my husband left me wo okay fine but did I tell you he left me for his secretary she's 21 and dumb as a bag of salt and I'm not naive I know men like stupid girls right but I thought Joel wanted more than stupid I thought he wanted spontaneity and wit I thought he wanted to be challenged you know what I mean huh you two will be together forever and

I tell you this much I was a great wife I was fun I planned some theme nights I dressed in costumes I gave him kids a boy and a girl yes our little girl is looking more and more like Winston Churchill every day you know that big old Yalta head but that's not a reason to leave right a guy crosses a stage and heads to the bathroom really after what I just said about the bathroom the audience laughs the guy turns and sits back down I loved him sorry the women in the audience are with her and I showed him I loved him and the men of the audience are with her all that they say about Jewish girls in the bedroom not true there's french whes standing around the morray district saying did you hear what mij did to Joel's balls the other night I can't do accents sorry Joel did accents Joel did great accents oh God can't believe this is happening I can't believe I'm losing him to Penny pan that's her name terrible right Penny

pan Penny pan Penny pan I'm officially losing my mind which is perfect now I'll be alone and crazy the famous mad divorce of the Upper West Side a couple applauds Upper West Side really where 72nd anoun Dam the place in the corner with the courtyard yeah that's the one oh that's nice we looked there but the closets were so small and I wanted a powder room you know I've seen her twice wearing her shirt Inside Out Penny twice once fine you were rushed in the morning twice you can only be trusted to butter people's corn the county fair and here's the worst thing and I know it's shallow and Petty and small but she's not even that pretty her ankles and calves are the same width ew the AI yes yes and her hips are extremely wide and pointy then then everything gets progressively smaller on the way up like a reverse triangle medium waist Girl Scout boobs Stumpy neck pin head right on top it's it's

like she was made by a three-year-old girl from she found on a toy box she's Mrs Potato and I'm sorry but look at me look at me I'm the same size now that I was at my wedding don't you doubt it I've documented this every day for 10 years I've measured every part of my body and come on who wouldn't want to come home to these every night this every night sorry okay maybe today is not the best day to judge I've been crying my face is all puffy and from here down from here down who wouldn't want to come home to these every night to this every night to this actually I'm a little bloated right now I drank a lot of wine so my stomach sort of uh can of borrow your okay thanks okay so so ignore this okay but imagine coming home to these these every night the room applauds they're completely with her now they're good right plus they're standing up on their own wait wait mijch pulls down her straps and shows her boobs we

hear gas cheers a couple of booze glasses crashing to the ground it's complete pandemonium su's red oh oh now seriously seriously seriously there's no way Penny can compete with these tits two policemen walk past Susie toward the stage oh Susie takes off after them mijch continues oblivious to all this so what if you're never going to be a comedian look at what greets you at the door good from there right now you think Bob new Hart's got a set of these at home polican W Yanks mij off the stage ow hey the policeman pull her off that was the best thing ever the policeman walk mge out Susie catches up with them it's not what you think she's a housewife she doesn't know the rules now we can discuss it at the station station what station the policemen pull her up the stairs the room gives her a standing ovation exterior Gaslight Cafe same time the policeman walk midge to their car I don't understand what's going on

you're under arrest what why well public and decency and Performing without a cavaret license you need a license to do that seriously yeah yeah you can all about it to your friend in the back seat there they open the door of the police car and shove her in interior police car continuous the door slams in mid's face she pounds on the window hey hey hey Mitch sigh and gives up she glances to her left we pan Over Lenny Bruce sits on the seat next to her hey hey into your jail cell later Mitch stands stiffly at the bars behind her two roughl looking women sit on a cut smoking and talking Mitch glances at them so he says the money now and I grab his knife and do I owe you money sorry anyhow I grab his knife and I thought he'd move hey everyone dies the worst part was of blood it was everywhere on the walls on the floors I mean look at this I mean he was it was like a fire hydrant and I love this top salt

it what the stain you salt it then pour boiling water over it until the water runs Clear Stain should be gone a guard comes over to the cell Miriam masel you're out the guard opens a cell and Miriam walks out hey thanks you're welcome M follows the guard off yeah that's a great tip interior police station front desk moments later Susie sits on a bench the policewoman leads Mitch out here you go here here you go thanks Judy the policewoman walks off you bailed me out my good deed for the year you got chick raped I don't think so exterior Greenwich Village continuous Susie and mij emerged from the police station onto the still bustling streets of the village it's still night out come on they start walking down the street I feel different you were in there 20 minutes 20 minutes can change you not really I'm a con now not quite I've got a rap sheet no you don't I'm hard I'm a hard used woman is my hair gray no it's

not it feels gray oh Jesus Christ I had it all everything I had always wanted and now it's all falling apart okay come on suie Po's smge passed a bright knee on bar sign and into the kettle of fish bar interior kettle of fish continuous a dark Village bar catering to both locals and the likes of duning Ginsburg carak corso and soon Dylan Susie pulls mid over to a table and sits her down jimy look at all the people and they look so happy are they high yes they are that must be nice God I'm so tired I don't think I've ever been this tired have some nuts did you notice that I'm not wearing my own shoes I'm not don't know when that happened either now I'm just a single gray-haired excon drinking Hooch and eating old nuts in someone else's shoes a waitress puts a couple of drinks down on the table uh drink that Mitch takes a slug of whiskey a long-haired Young girl Tracy comes bounding over to

the table Susy great big H Hooda nanny in Woodstock tomorrow feed my dog no use the fire escape window I owe some rent no walk him twice a day if he doesn't want to walk just carry him around the block like a baby no I'll see you in a week Tracy runs off I am not gonna feed your dog I always wanted a dog Joel thought there would be fleas yes yeah well you can have her please what kind of Life can I give a dog now huh this is empty look if you still upset about your husband you should be you shouldn't be he was a loser a fraud you don't know him I know he was doing Bob new Hart's act well everybody steals right everyone steals you didn't a young guy in a cat goes from table to table handing out pamphlets to people I didn't what house party tonight uh tomorrow night Mitch takes a pamphlet and the young guy moves off steal you don't steal your was totally original don't get me wrong it was tough

it was rough but there's definitely something there now wa just puts a new drink down on the table I'm thinking we can meet somewhere maybe the club if I can just get buzzed to die what are you talking about I'm talking about your act I don't have an act you will once we're done I don't understand you should do stand up I and I can help you oh come on I'm serious but I'm a mother great we'll use that does one of your kids do something weird last night was an isolated incident there are medications I can take to make sure that never happens again look nine years I've been working in the clubs okay nine years of watching every kind of loser get up twice ah get up they're thinking he's Jack Benny twice I've seen someone who really has the goods the first time a guy come in came in West Coast stunt a uh ar ar arrogant pain in his a in the ass three words into his set I knew I always uh I said to bu uh Buzz

that guy's gonna be famous who was he more shell oh he's good we saw him at gringer last year and the second time was last night stop it I know I'm right at least just like I knew that unless I somehow get rich enough to hire someone uh hailton Bor to walk me around Central Parks twice a day in my old age I'm going to spend my entire life alone that's not true it's fine I don't mind being alone I just don't want to be insignificant do you which doesn't answer don't you want to do something no one else can do but remembered as something others uh other than a wife a mother a member of a Communist party when did I come become a member of the Communist Party the minute you took that fly what your name already is U your name's already in Hoover's file now let's put it up on a marquee Mar as well I oh no oh no it's yon kapore and I'm supposed to be fasting atoning for my sins in the eyes of God so I'm eating peanuts

you showed your you showed your tits to half the green witch V Village you think the peanuts are what's going to piss him off I have to go but I'm sorry I I can't be your morile bch high tails it out of the bar into your rose and ab's living room a day later Rose and ab stand there Abe is pacing and flipping through a Bible ay please I'm just curious that's all there's a light knock at the door Mitch comes in oh your father's a crazy come in nowhere in the Bible does it say you have to fast on your KU cuber Kipper and whole cities fast say uh starving and I'm crazy mama papa what are you wearing it's not binning I have something to tell you you should both sit roseen a remain standing M drops into a chair last night Joel packed my suitcase and left he's gone Joel left you yes beat why what did you do nothing I didn't do anything babe storms out and slams the door he's in love with his secretary did you know this did you know

he was having an affair no of course I didn't know a large bang is heard off stage mijch jumps startled God this girl is she oh my God is she pregnant another large crash did you did you know did you talk like that around him did you use Sailor Talk no I didn't use Sailor Talk another bang is heard from the other room she must be pregnant a man doesn't leave unless the girlfriend is pregnant crash what the hell is he doing he's mad at who at me sh they'll hear who will hear them them who's them Rose collapses on the bed sobbing mom a large angry version of rachmaninov's Concerto Number Two in c minor Bellows through the apartment mijch knocks on the steady door dad interior steady continuous Abe is at the piano playing like he's mad at the keys mij storms over to him what is it why are you mad I didn't do anything wrong Abe slams The Piano shut and whirls around on her well I agreed to send you

to that fancy Gman College it's it's goam it's it's a term for someone who's not Jewish goam College what was the one thing I told you they'll have a terrible Deli the other thing I told you the important thing I told you don't pick a weak man a points his fingers at her exactly he slams his sheet music down and storms out of the room into your living room moments later a is at the bookshelf mij enters marching after him Rose's sobs are still heard loud and clear this isn't my fault of course it's not your fault everything we bring on ourselves is our own fault he was a good husband a good provider ma please stop crying what are you GNA do now what are you what are your children GNA do for the love of God stop crying in that bedroom this isn't fair the bedroom door opens Rose marches out goes into the guest room and slams the door the crying resumes much better thanks life isn't fair it's

a hard and cruel you have to pick your friends as if they were War all there there's a war going on you won't have a husband who will Dodge bullets for you no one who points to the bookcase and says up there how can you say that about Joel you liked him I knew what he was why didn't you tell me then huh I tell uh I'll tell I tell I did tell you when when did you tell me when you came home with him that night I looked at him looked at you and asked is this the choice you said yes that was telling me what do I have to spell it out for you the bedroom door opens Rose emerges now perfectly pulled together and completely composed Joel is sick everything's fine not a word of this to the rabbi I'm going to take a bath Rose marches off to the bedroom listen to Miriam you are a child you cannot survive this now I am no fan of jels but you're you need a husband and those kids need a father what am I supposed to do go buy

one at Zabar's you fix your face put on his favorite dress then you go out find him and make him come back back home Abe heads to the kitchen mij stands there deflated interior mid's apartment moments later mij walks in still reeling from her father's words she looks around at her very Empty Apartment A Beat and then fine mij marches over to a desk and furiously rips through the drawers looking for something she pulls out a flip top address book Mitch flips through it stops and reads angle on the address book Penny pan 255 West 72nd 3B a look of confusion comes over mid's face exterior a very similar Upper West Side apartment building Knight a cat pulls up mid perfect face and hair wearing Joel's favorite dress gets out she looks up the building into your hallway evening mij walks up to 3B she stops looks around the hallway for a bit and then knocks Penny opens the door her eyes widen Joel Joel the door opens

wider and Joel steps up what are you doing here mij brushes past them and goes inside interior apartment continuous a spacious stylish flower fill living room are the kid all right oh sorry Mitch looks around the room is this where you live now well the building the hallway what up Aline oh I can't it's nice oh sorry sorry thank you my my script is messed up I'm reading a different script I'm sorry about that um it's nice really nice in fact it's an awful lot like our place what the building the hallway this room all very similar to ours that's the couch I wanted to buy but you felt it was too deep I don't remember what couch you wanted to I thought I'd find you squatting in some downtown Smoke Filled Loft not two blocks away living the Methodist version of our life with the method Methodist version of me ding is heard from the kitchen MCH looks at Penny dinner brisket pot roast hot roast penny BR this

off the Methodist version of brisket mitage so this is what you were missing Joel pot roast and Santa Claus of course not you said you didn't want our life but this is our life you didn't go somewhere exotic and different you went across the street I had to why tell me why because after the other night at the Club after I felt I failed like that I just knew you never looked at me the same again okay I'll have everything things packed up and delivered here she starts up Mitch wait is that what you came here to say she stops oh sorry go ahead she stops beep no no M Smiles at him sadly and walks out the door in then a montage py Peggy leaves past me by plays I got me 10 P fine toes to wiggle in the sand lots of idle fingers snaap to my command exter streeted night as Mitch walks defiantly down the street a lovely pair of heels that kick to beat the band contemplating nature can be fascinating in tear subway car at night

as Mitch stands holding a strap in the crowded car add to these a nose that I can thumb and a month by gum have I exterior grenwich Village night as mij emerges from the Subway at Christopher Street to tell the whole darn world if you don't happen to like it deal me out thank you pass me by nice interior sus apartment night a dumpy basement apartment basically a dark square with one narrow window through which you can see people's feet walking on the sidewalk Outside The Only Furniture in the place consists of a sad couch opposite the front door and a beat up coffee table in front of the couch piles of newspapers magazines and record albums are stacked everywhere Susie standing in her kitchen hot plate on the radiator eating beans out of the pan that she heated them in she finishes tosses the pan goes to the couch and shoves it over to the window wall she then shoves the coffee table in front of

the couch from the wall behind the couch she pulls down a Murphy bed which takes up every available inch of space in the room she turns off the light and gets in the bed a beat and then a knock at the door Susie climbs out of the bed and Maneuvers over to the door she opens it at least as far as it will open before it hits the bed which is about 6 in M's face appears in the door crack I went by The Gaslight and they told me to come here is this your apartment yeah I'll be by here tomorrow at 10: here M shoves some money through the door for the bail you don't have a very long lease do you because you should move it just face disappears Susie strains to call after her did you say 10 in the morning hey Pass Me By Pass Me By if you don't happen to like it and pass me by into your basket house night the room watches a chubby young man on stage doing some familiar stand sounding standup I what's the problem you think

you're thinking of Shaving it off ah Abe don't you like don't you see that's part of your image angelon Midge in the back of the club she shakes her head in disbelief into your pamphlet party night young guy in the cap and his friends debate furiously as MCH sits on a couch eating chip and dip enjoying the scene immensely if you don't happen to like it pass me by end of Montage interior police station night the door to the holding cell area opens and a weary policeman leads Lenny Bruce out you guys ever going to you guys ever going to do take a broom to this place they already got pencil shave penicillin picin you don't have to grow uh grow it yeah take your things and leave Bruce I have three joints in my wallet and I expect them all to be there hey if you guys have some coke back there we we could have the hell of a party Lenny Bruce turns mijch is standing there you're not my wife no I thought my wife bailed me out no I

did huh well thanks Lenny Bruce heads towards the exit mid runs after him can I ask you a question uh sure do you love it do I love what what comedy stand up do you love it seriously well I've been doing it a while okay let's put it like this if there was anything else in the entire world that I could do possibly to do to earn a living I would do anything I'm try I I'm taking I'm talking dry cleaners to the clan trippled uh crippled kid portraits painters slaughterhouse attendant if someone said to me Leonard you can either eat a guy's head or do two weeks uh at the Copa I'd say pass the salt it's a terrible terrible job it shouldn't not it should not exist like cancer and God honey Bruce a busty blond comes clacking in sorry I went to the baric Station instead why the hell would you do that well because you like baric better Jesus honey you don't get to pick MCH watches him go a bit beat and then but

do you love it Lenny Bruce stops turns around and looks at her he laughs shakes his head and walks off hands in the air I Surrender yeah he loves it Mitch Smiles slightly Dave Edmund's girl talk plays us out Fade Out end of show yay yay that was nice reading y'all that was fun it's such a great show I love that show oh it's fun one have you seen it Jackson uh I have I've only seen clips of like later episodes because I was coming while my mom's watching the show so I'd see clips of it and I've watched a little bit with her but haven't actually seen like any of the first episode or anything like that but I think it's totally worth watching I don't know I'm just a fan yeah it seems fun my screen is so dark there you go I don't know what you did you wiped the dark off good job yeah still a little dark didn't know that was a thing oh if you need a light I turned up my light to ma light put a front

light on yeah you have a front light key light I'll just I'll use my flash oh oh my gosh do like um what is that when you do a flashlight the ghost stories yeah ghost stories exactly we should all do that there you go there we go that's better that's my flash on my phone I guess terrible I hate to do this I have to go because I've got something in like one minute oh thank you so much I really really really enjoyed it I suppose in fact I I seriously you're gonna think this is crazy I had an event tonight with film independent uh to go see Lily Gladstone speaking after a fancy dance down at the L anyway it's it was a great opportunity and I and I had a ticket and I was gonna go but then I remembered that we had this and I hadn't done this in such a long time I felt I wanted to you know be with you guys so oh so glad you did yeah but I watched fancy dance on Apple Plus later when I get a chance well we're glad you came and

joined us you're thank you so much guys take care I'll talk to you next week maybe hopefully see you bye bye bye bye all right let's see it's eight here nine at your guys's place if you want to stay we can take a five minute break first I know I have to go make some quick dinner yeah I gotta go I gotta go put away my I just want to say that I muted myself and said to my husband I had to sing and I didn't know the tune and he said that goes to show that you should have watched the episode you didn't I tell I wish we did uh I would love to do more things with songs in it you know like doing some Disney movies having like Tangled and mother knows best and some of those amazing songs I got a dream I got a dream we have we have done some musicals in the past um and and we had people come and join us simply because it was singing and and they enjoy singing right so yeah yeah next season we should okay

plan on doing at least one musical yeah it's so much fun I love to sing and Disney Music Disney music's like amazing I love Disney it's like like Tangled or Hercules we read um Nightmare Before christas the the yeah yeah the animated yeah I had to sing in that and I didn't know the tune it was like this is madness and and where where there are scenes where people are supposed to sing together that goes terribly wrong because you haven't rehearsed it right so it it always goes really bad for those moments yeah but we've had we've had some good singing funny yeah even if it goes wrong I think that just adds to the humor doesn't have to be serious but it certainly can it's a different kind of humor but yes but yeah I need to go too and this this was so much fun yeah okay perfect all right well I'm not sure what's next on our list I'll have to take a look oh yeah it I don't know we are coming up on uh

oh no it's it's not October yet no October is going to be fun yeah we do three I know it's another film that's all I that's all I can remember I'll take a look I'll put a put a event page up though so yeah okay perfect okay well have a good evening you too yes have a good night bye-bye bye

Questions about this episode

Who speaks in "THE MARVELOUS MRS MAISEL--Table Read Tuesdays"?

Judy Bell (Guest), Vicky Dykes (Host), Jackson Gray (Guest), Cat Wilson (Host), Unknown Host (Host).

What is "THE MARVELOUS MRS MAISEL--Table Read Tuesdays" about?

The content features a cast introduction for a table read of "The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel," highlighting the individual actors, their backgrounds, and the characters they will portray. Participants share their social media handles, locations, and roles, creating a collaborative and engaging atmosphere for the reading.

What is mentioned in this Table Read Tuesdays episode?

10 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Miriam M. Masel, Joel Masel, Penny Pan, Rose Wiseman, Bob Newhart, Amy Sherman-Palladino. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "THE MARVELOUS MRS MAISEL--Table Read Tuesdays"?

The episode runs 1 h 58 min; the transcript is about 14,426 words in 81 timestamped sections.

More from Table Read Tuesdays

About this transcript: the episode's spoken words as captioned on YouTube, split into timestamped sections. Reclip.Me locates every person, work and idea in the text, keeps the time it is first named, and quotes the words around it verbatim. Last updated January 24, 2026.