TACS #109 (feat. Jimmy Kimmel, Joe Rogan and Pat O'Brien)

What this episode is about

The content features a humorous and informal discussion led by Jimmy Kimmel as he fills in for Adam Carolla, who is at the hospital for the birth of his twins. The hosts engage in lighthearted banter about the challenges of childbirth, privacy concerns during delivery, and the dynamics of their showbiz lifestyle, showcasing camaraderie and comedic storytelling.

Key takeaways

• Today marks a birth, and Jimmy Kimmel's biting humor delivers as many laughs as it does insights.
• Invasion of privacy? Delivering twins is already messy enough. Who needs a third wheel in the room?
• Censorship of seemingly benign words? A reminder that comedy often dances on the edge of controversy.
• Broadcast teams echo family dynamics—chaotic, close-knit, and sometimes, hilariously dysfunctional.
• From 'dumb man' to 'dropped mics', shows how spontaneity fuels engaging radio—scripted chaos at its finest!

Who speaks in this episode?

• Adam Carolla (Guest) · 15 min speaking
• Jimmy Kimmel (Guest) · 1 h 1 min speaking
• Joe Rogan (Host) · 8 min speaking
• Pat O'Brien (Guest) · 15 min speaking
• Dave Dameshek (Guest) · 23 min speaking
• Bald Brian (Guest) · 15 min speaking
• Teresa Strasser (Guest) · 8 min speaking
• Christian (Guest) · 8 min speaking

What is discussed, and when

1. 0:00 – 15:00: Adam Carolla, Natalia Corolla, Sunny Corolla, Pat O'Brien
2. 15:00 – 30:00: Adam Carolla, Sunny Corolla
3. 30:00 – 45:00: Adam Carolla, Joe Rogan, Lynette Carolla, Natalia Corolla
4. 45:00 – 1:00:00: Adam Carolla, Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt
5. 1:00:00 – 1:15:00: Adam Carolla
6. 1:15:00 – 1:30:00: Adam Carolla, Joe Rogan
7. 1:30:00 – 1:45:00: Joe Rogan, Adam Carolla, Queen Latifah
8. 1:45:00 – 2:00:00: Joe Rogan, Natalia Corolla, Pat O'Brien, Adam Carolla
9. 2:00:00 – 2:15:00: Adam Carolla, Pat O'Brien, Joe Rogan, Brian Albert
10. 2:15:00 – 2:30:00: Pat O'Brien, Adam Carolla, Joe Rogan
11. 2:30:00 – 2:32:02: Joe Rogan

Notable quotes from "TACS #109 (feat. Jimmy Kimmel, Joe Rogan and Pat O'Brien)"

• Be something if you could pull this off Brian there we go wow I'm Jimmy Kimmel filling in for Adam Carolla the expectant father who's probably smoking a whole pack of cigarettes in the delivery room right now as we speak.

  about Adam Carolla · at 0:52

• Today we will find out what after all this talk Adam has decided in the names he's having a fraternal twins it's a girl and a boy and I'm hoping for Regis and Kelly I asked him…

  about Natalia Corolla · at 10:16

• Drunken Tree mascot is death rat guy coming in this morning no tomorrow all right don't listen for him and Pat O'Brien also will be on the program it's the Adam Carolla show…

  about Pat O'Brien · at 11:16

• Jimmy Kimmel filling in for Adam Carolla who is at the hospital awaiting the birth of the twin Corollas Regis and Kelly is Adam on the telephone let's speak to him now good…

  about Sunny Corolla · at 27:37

• All this are you in the delivery room right now no well we're in the like pre the prep room right Lynette's hooked up to the IV got the kids Hearts pounding in the background…

  about Lynette Carolla · at 30:34

• Hospital and visit but primarily my plan is to take some pictures of the children because they got a fortune for those Angelina brangelina pit babies there and I mean if they got 7 million for one baby I think I could I think I could get a.

  about Angelina Jolie · at 33:57

• It's 866-901 Adam we have many things in store today Joe Rogan will be here he's been fist fighting with contestants on Fear Factor and fighting on the internet with random strangers we're oh we got to hear that Paris Hilton song because.

  about Joe Rogan · at 38:34

• Every newspaper yeah it's all Corolla talk how much did they get for those photos Okay well here's the deal they got about 4.1 million dollars from People magazine and reports…

  about Brad Pitt · at 51:35

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

• Adam Carolla — Person · Absent host / primary subject of episode updates · 38 mentions · first at 0:40
  The episode centers on Adam being at the hospital for the birth of his twins; the show repeatedly checks in with him and riffs on his personality and habits.
• Joe Rogan — Person · Main guest (in-studio interview) · 19 mentions · first at 38:38
  Introduced as an upcoming/arriving guest; discussed for Fear Factor, internet arguments, and a reported altercation with a contestant.
• Lynette Carolla — Person · Referenced family member (Adam's wife) / childbirth subject · 2 mentions · first at 30:40
  Lynette is in the hospital undergoing a C-section; her condition and reactions are discussed during calls with Adam.
• Natalia Corolla — Person · Referenced newborn (Adam and Lynette's daughter) · 5 mentions · first at 10:21
  Mentioned as one of the twins expected that day; discussed in the context of baby names and the birth.
• Sunny Corolla — Person · Referenced newborn (Adam and Lynette's son) · 3 mentions · first at 12:27
  Mentioned as one of the twins expected that day; the episode builds suspense around the twins' arrival and naming.
• Angelina Jolie — Person · Referenced celebrity (news/gossip subject) · 2 mentions · first at 34:03
  Discussed alongside Brad Pitt regarding baby photos and the value of celebrity newborn images.
• Brad Pitt — Person · Referenced celebrity (news/gossip subject) · 1 mention · first at 51:25
  Discussed in the context of celebrity baby photo deals and media coverage.
• Pat O'Brien — Person · Scheduled guest (mentioned) · 9 mentions · first at 11:21
  Named as a planned on-air guest for the program lineup.
• Kathy Griffin — Person · Referenced comedian/celebrity (comparative mention) · 2 mentions · first at 1:57:34
  Appears in a list-style celebrity reference (context suggests celebrity gossip/comedy ecosystem).
  That question to very ill effects we'll get to that and also how much would you pay to live with Kathy Griffin for the weekend beautiful Adam Carolla show and it's Jeff Probst and you are.
• Queen Latifah — Person · Referenced celebrity (comparative mention) · 2 mentions · first at 1:33:01
  Mentioned as part of broader celebrity/pop-culture references in the episode.
  For sure I wouldn't have felt bad about that at all I'm seeing on CNN right now the Queen Latifah is announcing National Women's confidence day breaking news I just want to make sure I got that in so we weren't Google I'm.
• Brian Albert — Person · Referenced sportscaster (name mention) · 2 mentions · first at 2:08:53
  Appears as a named entity but without clear linkage to the main discussion in the provided excerpt.
  Couldn't be more straightforward Joel your first question is what do you say Marv Albert Tech stock or NBA player first the player yeah let's let Joel answer before good idea Joel I'm gonna have to go with tech stock.

Companies & orgs

• Umpqua — Company · Incidental mention · 1 mention · first at 2:09:14
  Mentioned briefly without context in the transcript
  I'll say you Marv that's one he must get two of the next four Umpqua is indeed a tech stock yes all right here we go you're next question number two can tell.
• Zlinks — Company · Incidental mention · 1 mention · first at 2:10:21
  Mentioned briefly without context in the transcript
  Go here we go zlinks zealinks definitely Tech stock huh what do you say Marv from downtown there you go congratulations Joel you and your choice.

Full transcript with timestamps

0:00 foreign good morning and welcome to another exciting broadcast day it's the intro wow talk about Show Business you guys really know how to do it around here welcome to another broadcast well welcome to another broadcast day um what day is today is today Wednesday June 7th Wednesday June 7th the day of the birth of the um well the chosen ones Adam carolla's baby twins hard to be born today yes that's the sound of a baby crying in case you didn't know what it sounds like we should really get two babies crying because that's what Adam's been here all the time wow this would really be something if you could pull this off Brian there we go wow I'm Jimmy Kimmel filling in for Adam Carolla the expectant father who's probably smoking a whole pack of cigarettes in the delivery room right now as we speak we don't know I guess we shouldn't say what hospital he's at what's going to go on today is I thought Tad was going to

1:13 be at the hospital with Adam and Lynette delivering the children well that was the plan and we brought it up yesterday in our post show meeting and uh it seemed like Adam was Adam was at the postal meeting for the first he's always there for the first four minutes no uh I'm kidding um but anyway uh we brought it up there you go that was it seems like I would I mean you know you should have done this is you should have pushed for Tad in the delivery room and then settled for him in the waiting room because I and why do you think he didn't want that in there I think he felt there was a little bit of evasion of privacy and I think he was worried that Lynette didn't want to see this is that's an invasion of privacy how long and you already got your first one pretty sure really offensive really and you're okay it's okay to say that and it's not okay you can say p you could say you're on but when you got us and

2:08 you say you're an on but you got to stop there because so you just got bleeped again no the guy's name we're out of dump right now and uh he turned off the mics we're at a dump right now so we gotta wait till that builds up are we built up all right go by all right go ahead go ahead turn off the mics okay anyone ever turns Jack silver turns Mike off on me he's fired no we're just Mike off on me again the good news I turned it on for you but the problem was that if you turned it off is the question the dump man turns it off who's that man he's uh right there bro oh my God Brian what a life you must lead that man should be forced to stay in the bathroom at all times you're gonna be dumb man you'll be dump man dumb man let's see dumb man and we can't say the name of what's his name's friend on Growing Pains Kirk Cameron's best friend this is his name his Christian name it rhymes with Stoner and it starts with

3:33 a B can we say that that's ridiculous by the way when I was at K-Rock we can say all this stuff and and they still can say all this stuff I think he could say Woody you of course you can because Woody Harrelson would not have a name otherwise he would just be he'd be bleep dump out Harrelson can you say Woody Woody Allen Woody Harrelson still around that word and I'm not going to say this already I'm in Rage I have to say that word is an old word meaning mistake it's not it that's that's ridiculous that that would get bumped out automatically that's true that's exactly you know man I I think it's I think it's rather Preposterous to the whole thing but I I'm basically have to answer to my boss who's your boss uh let's call Jack right now uh well I don't know he's probably not up I don't care if he's up I don't want him to be up do we have his home telephone number we gotta I'm not able to do the show

4:31 without this word planning to build the whole program around this world every bit is now in question absolutely I don't know what to do now I I we had a whole plan for the day built around this particular word and we're not allowed to say it by the way 604 Jimmy already enraged almost 605. almost 605. well we'll leave that for a second but we we should wake Jack up and uh I would hope that Jack is listening right now um but apparently he's not is do we have Jack's home phone number we're getting him okay good all right very good well thank you for uh having me here it's a pleasure to be here I've known every pretty much everyone in the room for quite a while that Brian not so much but uh uh big Tad and Jimmy brusca and Teresa of course Theresa and I have known each other for a long time since Theresa was a writer on when Ben Stein's Money um Dave damishek who sat at my left hand last night

5:29 um filling in he helping me write the monologue as he did for so many wonderful years we had together that's why the show was so good last night what was your best joke last night oh well I mean it's not about individual credit it's about making Jimmy Kim alive the best Jimmy Kim alive that's right that's right oh you did have a good one last night I just can't remember what it was exactly I'm sure it was solid it was following that something stupid that somebody said um but um of course uh all the players are familiar to uh who's your favorite radio audience of all the people in the room yeah Nebraska now actually in a way Tad is because I have a um an almost fatherly an abusive fatherly relationship with Dad that I meant when he was 19 years old or so how old were you Tad when we met that can't work the microphone Ted no I can work the microphone I'm just answering phones like I'm supposed to

6:27 okay I'm sorry he talks back like a teenage son exactly I love you dad I met dad in the halls of uh of K Rock he was wearing a green Day t-shirt that was about three sizes too small for him and he had sunglasses on prescription Sun actually there were prescription glasses that darkened you know most ones we were what was happening they were still why were they still dark in the in the radio station when they're doing Windows they weren't they weren't sunglasses that uh you know go darker they were just they were regular Sun prescription sunglasses but but what had happened is I broke my glasses uh the day before my regular glasses yeah and and I had these prescription uh sunglasses so I I can't see without glasses well that was back in the day now and you can see dad's storytelling ability is What attracted me it made me nervous initially okay go back to answering the telephones Tad is not Adam would not allow Tad and

7:26 of all people you'd think you'd want that by your side at the hospital you know he didn't want him and uh I guess he was afraid if Lynette looked up while giving birth and saw Tad whenever my attached you should be afraid looking up and seeing Adam as the father of the children giving birth this is a person Adam Carolla who um I just can't imagine him being a parent I really can't he he he was in my backyard once and um I can't even say this word he peed oh yeah I can say this he was peeing in my children's sandbox really as if it was some sort of big like kitty litter area and I went outside and it sounded like there weren't bathrooms in my house there are many bathrooms in the house and I said what are you what are you doing and he said ah you know and he had a beer in his hand and he's peeing in the kid's sandbox I said my children play in this sandbox and you're peeing where they play how

8:27 how can this be a father of not just one but twins well we have Jack silver on the phone um should we take them how do we do this I don't know how to answer the telephone press the VIP line no Jack Jimmy Kimmel look at you stud I'm sorry to wake you up but we have a problem already right out of the gate number one somebody's got to talk about to Adam about the fact that he would not allow Tad in the delivery room with him and Lynette today and secondly there's a word that we're not allowed to say that it's I can't I cannot even believe we're not allowed to say it it starts with a b and it rhymes with stoner yeah there seems to be a big uh oh just a big issue over over that word um yeah there is is that something you want to say Jimmy I was planning the whole show around it all right well how about in that case let me go ahead and make an executive decision if you want to say it say it God bless

9:26 you jack silver thank you so much and now you can go back to sleep God's speech thank you so much see that he's a reasonable man he's not going to just put put things out there that you have to abide by regardless of the situation that's an old word I bet you it's right there in the dictionary I just looked it up it does mean a gaff exactly like you said there you go from the from the French it also means erect penis you know what out like for instance you know how when the spelling be when you watch that that little say can you put it into some context for me Jack silver woke up with a morning boner well I don't know if you're allowed to say it but I am allowed to say it well no lights we have uh we have a lot of stuff planned this morning of course we're going to check in with Adam and the babies baby um Laverne and Shirley is that what he settled on we're gonna find out what today we will find out what after all

10:17 this talk Adam has decided in the names he's having a fraternal twins it's a girl and a boy and um I'm hoping for Regis and Kelly I asked him to name the children Regis and Kelly also uh Paris Hilton's single somebody emailed me I don't know if this is out yet I don't know if anybody has anyone heard this before I haven't heard it this was emailed to me and it's her like it's her singing It's her pop song that's hot yeah it is that's what she should have called it by the way what is it called stars are blind is it really I swear and um also here's another big scoop here I guess uh Mike Dawson who works here saw an early cut of Rocky six that's true what yeah he saw Rocky six last night awesome I want to hear about this I want to hear about it too so we got a lot of stuff going on gonna be here yeah Drago makes an ancient comeback um drunken Tree mascot is death rat guy coming in this morning no tomorrow all

11:21 right don't listen for him and uh Pat O'Brien also will be on the program it's the Adam Carolla show Jimmy Kimmel filling in we're gonna take a break and we'll be back shortly with even more boner material ransick in studio the first the one the only the original Apprentice I was talking with Mr Trump today Mr Trump name your Siri I actually talk about Donald Trump because I named my thing Mr Trump the good news is you're fired next time you see Adam Carolla on a bus back or a billboard hit the guy next to you really hard and say one nothing see Adam Carolla show trick yeah a severe penalty for being a jerk yes beware your foul Behavior sitting in for Adam Carolla who is at the hospital with his wife his twins are on the way they may even be out now who knows I I don't know how long it takes to prep I think they have to shave the mother and then they uh shave the father and then they shaved

12:38 the father one of the father's eyebrows unfortunately Adam only has one so that might be a problem for him and then the babies come out and they're welcomed into the world and we'll find out their names and we'll talk to Adam in just a moment but before that Dave damishek what is this a Wednesday night a Wednesday morning tradition that's right here the jerk report you got it okay and again I think this should be made uh into a list sort of a top ten list but I'll let you you know better you are Dave damishek uh Sports guy um pittsburghian extraordinaire I don't want to rank see if I rank these these people are just jerks I don't want them to feel like they're a lesser jerk if I rank them like the 10th biggest jerk then they feel like well they're at least nine people I'm sure you have excellent reasons for all of this but without further Ado here's Dave with the jerk report The Jerk report

13:31 that's the intro that's right and what happened to my theme music at the beginning of the show it was right here on the schedule and no theme music but whoever did that on the jerk list will you listen I'm already on the jerk report I'm sure okay there's a very high likelihood that Brusco will make the jerk report again all right very good once again let's go with that great intro again Dave damishek The Jerk report The Jerk Report with Dave damashek reporting that's right all right beware evil doers I've taken my perch Atop The filth and the oils and the grime that infects our planet Pisces clearly it stays far and no Shield can protect you from my blaster as always my Hired Gun a mercenary the Assassin himself bald Brian let it begin listen there's a magazine out there that I've I've taken great pleasure in over my lifetime called Sports Illustrated yes I've heard of it yes they have a

14:35 list now called uh the best number twelves of all time you know best players you understand to ever wear the number 12. so of course my mind went to the same place as all of yours did any rational person Terry Bradshaw right so I'm looking at the list you know John Stockton of the Utah Jazz you know Roger Staubach Joe name is all building to number one and Terry Bradshaw the great Steeler QB but no I see Bradshaw number two who's won Tom Brady I'm Brady excuse me sir four Super Bowl crowns beats three in my book with those Radio Shack commercials had or not the Radio Shack but the collect call commercials had to knock them down way down on the list I got two words for you Cannonball Run yeah how about that today he does one of those Bradshaw's number one in my book I'll throw another thing at you Supercuts commercials a bald man doing haircut commercials I guess that would put them higher on

15:32 the list and also was that in this list a numbered list no it was no this was number one the number one number 12. you see how much more interesting it is when it has numbers thank you Teresa do not push me Kimmel you can wind up in here very quickly sir all right how many are on this list by the way of yours I have 37. coming in at number 36 is every week Dr Zhivago Ryan I know that you went to high school with Tom Brady and everything do what needs to be done take them out well done sir this was the biggest moment of your life you're either with me or you're against me it's very upsetting and now I'm out Braska yeah I like to you know my minions who go out and and uh seek out the jerks of the world many have written in and said one Jim bruska belongs not just on the jerk report this week they say I should open the books for him and put him into the Hall of Shame it's ridiculous and once that book is open once you're put

16:35 into the Hall of Shame you don't get out it would be you and Barry Bonds but I want to be a benevolent King to you Brusco this is your last warning all right sir how am I comparing with Barry Bonds this is ridiculous I don't question what is what is the reason yeah what is the reason why yeah if you happen to hear the show bruska has a little habit of cutting off the sports early right people don't like that and when you say people who do you mean Dave damage even Dave's father he's all right all right now McDonald's has a new a new commercial out for their chicken sandwiches have you seen this one where those co-workers says today he's eating the chicken sandwich and his co-worker says you keep eating those you're going to turn into a chicken and then the guy over the course of the commercial becomes a chicken he gets a beat now he gets like like a you know like Michael Jackson and Thriller gets

17:26 to be like half man half wolf you know this guy turns into half chicken like he gets the beak knows and he grows defeat hey McDonald's stop telling me I'm gonna turn into a chicken I'm not gonna eat your sandwich you tell me I'm gonna become poultry now that you already have one chicken sandwich on your menu here's another one for you jerk are you concerned about the filet-o fish no I have no issues with that I've enjoyed our product out listen to this yes Michael Jordan this would be so much better if there are numbers because that's the one because that's why they're a list that's why the e-entertainment they put on these shows where there's a coming in at number two and there's like and we'll be right back with the number one jerk of the week who's not gonna win around the seat do you have that wow I'd like it if if we can go ahead and just Slade and each week for this I'll do a bill top

18:21 one I don't think you need an hour and a half I think you can go right through them no problem here's the next jerk I'm gonna go I'm gonna jump straight to the creep of the week okay so that's the build okay NBA finals are are tomorrow now Dwayne Wade of the Miami Heat you know one of the best players in the league is talking on ESPN's Sunday night conversation and he was talking about a phone call he received take a listen to this I ain't doing nothing he said hold on someone will talk to you know so I'm not taking this nothing and uh and then I hit a deep voice go to the phone yo what's up so I know I know Jordan Boyce you know my wife's coming fly with me you know all this so I know the voice you know Jordan right away this is a recurring theme with any NBA player Michael Jordan calling them up to tell him what the score is townhouse what kind of narcissist College people up who he doesn't know to tell them you know what

19:15 if you can't beat them join them I'm calling Michael right now Michael Jordan hey Mike it's Dave damishek of the jerk report I got a little uh critique for you you're a jerk wow that's pretty hardcore because Michael Jordan calls young players yeah to inspire and congratulate them he has he's been named creep of the week that's right right for trying to help a young player to be inspired who's he wasn't with Dwyane Wade sitting by the phone to hear from Michael Jordan only the greatest basketball players are over go sell your wieners and Gatorade Terry Bradshaw not a jerk Michael Jordan wait a second one last entry let's balance these things out Jimmy Kimmel jerk uh well I hate to be put on that list but uh at least at least it had no numbers attached Connor you're on a list with Michael Jordan you think wrong Missy yeah and McDonald's and their sandwiches thank you Dave that was a terrific

20:22 um we have we have some real professional comedy now uh 13 year old Christian for those of you who listen to the show regularly as I do in my home you know the Christian is a an Aspire a budding comic is he technically now he is a comic but um he's been taking some instruction from Jeff Ross and um he's on the phone right now I'm gonna try to pick that up hello Christian hey how you guys doing we're doing well Christian thank you um please help uh take this plane out of the nose dive that Dave just put it in might be putting me it's already been laid out and nothing can be added to it so don't worry about it why what's your problem with Dave Christian well I don't have a problem with Dave I don't have a problem with anyone but I've told most of my jokes have been observational humor but me being Jeff Ross you know Jeff Ross helped me out I wanted to roast somebody Jeff Ross of course is famous for his

21:25 roasting and you are now going to do some roasting yes but have you discussed this with Jeff I sent him an email I did you did and did he respond to that email um you know I I told him I thought it was going to be on yesterday and he asked me how it went but I told him I had to get the podcast if it was going to be on the website all right record it and listen to it okay that's far too much detail but um Jeff is okay he's giving you his Blessing now we'll be using your own jokes or some of the old the classic rose jokes uh these are mine I made these myself all right very good and you will be roasting Dave exclusively no I'm gonna be uh roasting the whole Adam Carolla show oh really well how long is this gonna take not a minute minutes oh really all right okay all right well go ahead here he is Christian the 13 year old comedian roasting the Adam Carolla show take it away Christian Adam Carolla is a very

22:16 successful man and he'll tell you that he likes to brag that he has a lot of money even though he has to do stupid things to get it Adam plays Spanky and the popular Drawn Together show Spanky is a perverted Pig who eats mounds of food at a time while watching porn Adam if you can hear me when you're acting you're supposed to be like somebody else that's not bad that's not a bad joke I mean the setup could use some refinement but that's pretty good all right keep going Christian Maverick comes into the studio a lot but if he could actually hear the show he wouldn't be coming in anymore that's of course the death frat guy okay very good Steve damashek is a very talented man he can be a sports fan and a nerd Dave has the ability to tell you about any player on any team during any game and can still be a woman repellent what gifts all right Teresa Rich let the show and their listeners name her vagina

23:09 coincidentally all the names add up to the same thing a deserted and barren field funny and true the tree mascot death rat guy is it coincidental that everybody who comes into your studio is a drunk I mean they just need to have a warning on beer now warning you may go into the Adam Carolla Studio you better have a new line of friends or an alibi saying that you were drunk because your popularity is about to plunge that's what I got so far thanks for listening there you go that's nice Christian that's very well done what about bald brine what about bosom's brusca what about all these people that get spared well this was just it was just the three common people who come into the show it's called being concise Dave perhaps you should take a lesson lesson from Christian so go home and get your [ __ ] shine boxes is the guy who who books Christian so he doesn't want to bite the aerial that feeds him

24:01 absolutely right oh Braska what have I gotten you into here Adam is gonna you know what we're gonna do next is we're gonna check in with uh Corolla at the hospital where the twins are gonna arrive I wonder if we're gonna find out the names of the uh of the kids maybe we should save that for later in the show and we'll keep bothering him throughout the morning we'll find out if Adam is in the delivery room he says he's not going to be in the delivery room and actually uses um profanity to describe those who do those men who do go into the delivery room but I predict that that he will indeed be in the delivery room whether he admits it or not I cannot imagine him not being at least forced into that delivery why do you think he'll be in there because number one he says a lot of things that he doesn't mean he does this all the time this is a man who cried at his wedding by the way at the wedding kept all his friends out

24:56 of the wedding would not allow me at the ceremony and then wept like a like well like his babies I got reports I have people I have eyes everywhere and people are always watching not just him but all of you and um we're going to talk to Adam I also have the list of top African-American baby names in case Adam is um unsure about what he would like to name the child when I had when we had my daughter um I didn't have her alone I did it through a surrogate my ex-wife and uh we I didn't want to name her beforehand because it seemed weird to me to name a kid before you see the kid because it'd be like if you got a dog and you named it Blackie but then it was like some Samoyed or something with a big white coat you don't do that you wait and you see what the kid looks like it like Tad for instance his mom he Tad came out of the birthing Canal came bursting out like the Kool-Aid guy and uh his mom

25:55 said wow look at this tiny little 18 pound baby I will name it Dad Tad may have been named before he came out because had he come out first there's no way he would have gotten the name of a little droplet of water so these are the sorts of things we'll talk to Adam about also Paris Hilton's new single and um we're gonna oh we're gonna get a review an early review of a rough cut of Rocky six starring an elderly Sylvester Stallone all here on the Adam Carolla show

26:48 there's a lot more coming up so stay here or there wherever you are just don't change the station see Adam Carolla show a restaurant review with the deaf frat guy today's review El bizo cocho in San Diego the mood in this luxurious romantic Rancho Bernardo in dining room is formal with Rich French Fair impeccable sermons and live piano music moose can totally play Happy Birthday on the piano with his Wang they should have someone do that this place needs more food less dude I give it four potato gun blast all right thank you deaf fried guy it's Jimmy Kimmel filling in for Adam Carolla who is at the hospital awaiting the birth of the twin Corollas Regis and Kelly is Adam on the telephone let's speak to him now good morning Adam good morning Jim you're doing a great job thank you Adam I'm excited to do it and thanks for asking me and how are things how is Lynette first of all she's uh nervous but she's doing well she was uh

28:02 a little angry at me for listening to the Walkman and laughing at Dave's jerk report in the middle of instructions by the nurse and uh let me quickly I want to thank you for filling in for me Jimmy and tell me uh who's going to be on your show tonight so I can start preparing well uh that's interesting that you would ask Adam at the spelling we have the spelling bee Champion that girl who won a spelling bee and um Larry the Cable Guy Tad you hear that Larry the Cable Guy would be on and uh a band called him they're here from Finland have your producers dropped the BIOS over at the hospital so I can bone up on them I don't want to stumble tonight Adam are you nervous at all I am you are I really am are you sweating no not yet but I'm but I'm gone out you want to hear the kids heartbeats by the way they're in they're hooked up to the machine yeah cool definitely let me turn the volume up I hope I don't hit the

28:59 self-destruct button uh yeah that would be bad do you hear that wow that's stuck they have one heartbeat together or are they in sync there's uh there's two if they had one it'd mean they were engaging I mean wow that's something that's almost that's almost as good as Don Johnson's heartbeat let me give a quick Hospital observation because you know I can't see anything without complaining about it you know they put that wristband on on you they put one on Lynette they put one on me and then they proceed to cut off the extra 26 inches that's hanging off of it whose wrist is that big Tad no I'm saying men and Katie Katie's wrist are separated by about 7 8 of an inch nobody needs the extra 14 inches hanging off the wristbands they must be wasting miles and miles of plastic every year with all that plastic that they cut off you know any rainforests are being cut down for those wristbands I'm sure

30:02 Lynette would love it if you took this opportunity to rail against it to the nurses oh don't worry I got some Choice words for them and I haven't even gotten started on accounts yet and not only that these wristbands it seems like if you were to get an enormously obese person that came into the hospital which does happen from time to time they could just link two wristbands together in that case yeah like like the add a leaf or that thing that they do with the seat belt when Stan has to fly commercially I'm sure Lynette is delighted to hear all this are you in the delivery room right now no well we're in the uh like pre the prep room right Lynette's hooked up to the IV got the kids Hearts pounding in the background and and let me say this to uh damashek because I know it's been an ongoing thing I heard it earlier this morning we got into the discussion about what language was appropriate for the air yesterday when

31:00 we were talking about uh well I don't know if I can say it it's going to get dumped out but the name the name of the friend on the sitcom yeah no you could say now Jack silver said you can now although ironically we're now no longer allowed to say the word Jack on the air but um we are allowed to say the word boner on the air I I went home and turned on a rerun of The Simpsons last night and they did a joke about George Plimpton playing uh oh someone's giving me the stink eye playing the principle of the college oh I got it again wait who's giving you the stink eye over there I tell you I really think that in hospitals there's actually a paying job where they take women post-menopausal women with shortcropped hair and bad frames and ask them walk up and down the hall lean in look like something horrible is going on in the room Jen looked disgusted and move on I swear this woman is on rotation every 15

32:08 seconds she pokes her head in gives a look like she smelled something bad and then keeps going Adam what time will the twins be born twins will be born at 10 o'clock this evening we wanted to get here early now they're going to be they should be born at like 7 30. Wow have you guys have you don't tell us what the names are but have you settled on names yet we're going with Jack and boner um no uh we haven't settled on a name yet but we got checked in the guy who checked us in was named Hardy and I thought like the hamburger chain what's that yeah like the burger chain like the burger chain party and Wendy we'll name the girl Wendy right yeah wow that would be something yeah that would definitely be fat I mean you're still getting around fat if your names are hearty and Wendy wait Adam can I ask you has Lynette been sedated at all or is she still Wide Awake Lynette has not been sedated that's why she's giving me the

33:07 stink guy yes she is she's nervous she's never been in the hospital before well she hasn't never no oh she's never been in his a patient before I don't know if Elena have you ever been to the hospital yeah all right well tell everyone just don't talk a lot lay back lay back and enjoy it you know because I can enjoy the ride baby it's because it's a lot of fun daddy will be right here talking to us uh radio show when you have a C-section the vagina is not involved in the delivery true they go in through it to make the incision I hear it's like a waste of time to me but no yeah there is uh no it is not it is not involved with that now I'll be honest with you I would like to come by the hospital and visit but primarily my plan is to take some pictures of the children because they got a fortune for those Angelina brangelina pit babies there and I mean if they got 7 million for one baby I think I could I think I could get a

34:15 million for your two kids I uh I would not donate any of the money and I would think I'd be more than happy to split it with you Jimmy I wasn't really looking towards splitting it with you necessarily but maybe you know what I'll do I'll make a small donation to the kids college junior college fund and we'll do it like that all right a bong is a terrible thing to waste that should be the Creo Credo for the junior college fund Adam when are you guys going to get out of the hospital um I think well Lynette's not going to be out for about uh three or four days oh really wow three or four I didn't know that we had four days well that's what they say yeah they say like Saturday or Sunday I thought nowadays they turned it around it's like you went in in the morning and you're out before lunch uh I you know with C-sections for some reason it it they're they're saying because Lynette is pointing out it's a major surgery right

35:17 right right and you'll be pointing that out for the rest of your life by the way yeah three or four days is uh what they say I see all right so uh you know if anyone's up for poke or this weekend yeah how many how much time will you be spending at the hospital you will you be there all the time I'm gonna leave in about 10 minutes and then I'm gonna honk the horn on Sunday morning and Lynette will come out with the kids I imagine I kind of figured that you might not have any names planned for the children so um I had the guys look up the top African-American baby names fantastic and I thought maybe this you're gonna be shocked when you hear the top African-American baby names you're gonna be shocked you really are honestly because I know we don't think it's going to be Shaniqua and whatnot and um turns out it is no you want to hear them hold on Jimmy if you're gonna uh dispel or squelch any

36:16 stereotypes right now I will hang up this phone all right let me give them to you just for the hell of it all right the top 10 African-American baby names for a male Xavier number 10. Josiah number nine Jonathan number eight James number seven Jeremiah number six Jaden number five Anthony number four Joseph number three Joshua number two Josh and the number one Luther Isaiah really yeah Josiah is the weirdest they were all all biblical almost there's there you know what they're finally smartening up because uh Josh sounds a lot better when the Bayless calls it than it where's the Shaquille where's the Kwame where's Mexico where's the plexical for God's sake very disappointed the top 10 uh female names Jade number 10 Ariana number nine now we get into the Ania number eight Aaliyah number seven seven actually I may have these screwed up Jada Sarah destiny Trinity at number two and at number one

37:37 a name I've never heard before Nevaeh that's the most popular name that's your body just go to Isaiah and Nevaeh I think that would be great if you picked the top African-American baby names done and done all right very good I mean I'm gonna do that I mean I'm gonna name them done and done in fact notice how he numbered his list and it was effective I couldn't wait to hear what was number one yep there you go very simple thing all right Adam well please give Lynette our love and uh and we'll check back in with you when the when the little ones actually arrive all right I will call the second day a ride all right very good Adam Carolla reporting from the hospital oh we never found out if he's gonna be in the delivery room he said he would be we'll find out later I don't want to pressure him into anything he's going to be in there he's going to cut the cords even though he says he wasn't going to do

38:25 that and he's going to cry these are my he's going to have the hat trick I agree with you completely Dave damishek we're gonna take a break let me give out the telephone number if people want to call it's 866-901 Adam we have many things in store today Joe Rogan will be here he's been fist fighting with contestants on Fear Factor and fighting on the internet with random strangers uh we're oh we got to hear that Paris Hilton song because she's got a new single out we're going to hear that uh we have a sneak preview and also another sneak preview of Rocky six the movie which one of the staff members here saw last night Teresa what's in the news before we go well you may remember Olivia Newton-John's boyfriend disappeared weird he's back he's back he's back and I'll tell you where he is also a frightening new way to catch herpes I'll tell you so you can avoid it that and some stuff about Hillary Clinton

39:17 the Adam Carolla show call 866-901 Adam hey this is Phil Henry you are listening to one of the most brilliant rocking tours one of the most great hey this is Phil Henry you're listening to a man who slept with my wife and yet I enjoy his radio program Adam Carolla hi I'm Phil Henry this cat can bowl Adam Carolla hi I'm Phil Hendry oh my are we are even getting close to anything here stay right here there's more coming up the Adam Carolla show coming up this up this Michelle Adam's live at the hospital because his wife is about to have the twins we'll check in with them the drunk tree mascot's gonna stumble into the studio I think I may need a bucket and fear factors Joe Rogan now back to Jimmy Kimmel on the Adam Carolla show how about that you made that especially for me thank you so much uh Jimmy Kimmel sitting in for Adam again Adam is at the hospital let's take a quick couple of calls if we could

40:23 because uh we got a couple of things I ran the top African-American baby names by Adam who's looking for names for his son and daughter which will arrive this morning and Nevaeh is the top female African-American baby name Jack is on the phone from Fresno and Jack says he knows the origin of the name I've never heard uh I've never met a person named Nevaeh Jack well I've never met a person named levia either but I've been hearing a lot about it and believe it or not it's heaven spelled backwards is that wow you're right wow that's weird it's having spelled backwards it's like maybe Oprah and the Harpo thing is what brought this on could be is it good do you want really the reverse of Heaven for your child very interesting thank you Jack appreciate it and as far as the name for Adam's kids you know I think he should really keep it safe and simple call the kids pan pan they're not pandas that's NAB nap

41:29 backwards right uh easily well yeah after that crazy guy trying to tell you guys all those knives a while back oh yeah that's right yeah I think you're going for the nap NAB joke but thank you for that obscure reference all right very good we got another call Marv here in Los Angeles Marv you know why Adam will not be in the delivery room yes because when you have a C-section that's a major surgery they open her up and you know you can't have people in there you need your sterile environment I'm a father of twins and uh when my twins were born the first one was natural the second one they got arm and a leg and the card down so they had to do the C-section and they booted me out right away that may have been just you Mar because everyone's shaking their heads around here I know yeah we talked about it yesterday that the doctors told him that he could be in there and cut the cord Marv why do

42:17 you think they kicked you specifically out of the delivery room well it was an emergency they they're supposed to be both of them natural and then uh what year was this uh 1984. uh well maybe that you know they're probably it's 22 years later probably figured it out now and they they probably just laminate you and send you in there so you'd be sterile also and when they were training this guy he was a uh lb guy from San Bernardino County Hospital fascinating thanks for calling Mark into the guy's medical history all right let's do a little bit of let's do a little bit of news and uh Teresa you'll be happy to know that Ed is on the phone from Las Vegas Ed you want to do what Ed no this is not Adam it's Jimmy Fillion Adams having a baby two babies today Ed all right thanks for calling ahead what happened there I didn't think I touched anything did I I'm sorry Teresa I broke your momentum let's pretend that never

43:18 happened and once again Teresa with the news thank you the Senate is debating a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage President Bush has been supporting the band New York Senator Hillary Clinton has not here she is it is unfortunately on the list for the political machine of the White House and the Republican majority they didn't sign up for the mean-spirited divisiveness that goes after gays and lesbians that tries to make it you know somehow a you know political issue as to the life you lead and who you are oh let me say this in defense of President Bush how else are we going to distract everyone from all the other terrible things he screwed up right I mean do you want people to focus on the very unpopular war no let's keep Siegfried and Royce single exactly oh that's beautiful yeah and maybe one day they'll have beautiful twins of their own exactly they could name them and the tiger will eat them

44:21 in entertainment news almost a year ago you may remember this story Olivia Newton-John's boyfriend mysteriously disappeared on a fishing trip yeah yeah and then shortly thereafter reports surfaced that he was in an ugly legal battle with his ex-wife well now four separate Witnesses are claiming to have seen the 48 year old photographer in Mexico the investigation into his disappearance is still open and Olivia Newton-John has not commented on the reported sightings because she was on like the Today Show or something and crying yeah I mean I don't think she's faking it no it's legit this son of a [ __ ] first of all as a uh as a 38 year old man who grew up um really just learning about his body thanks to Olivia Newton John that outfit you were at the end of Greece I can't imagine leaving abandoning Olivia Newton-John like that even now she's like what almost probably 60 years old she looks fantastic

45:22 what about the fact you prefer at the end of Grease you prefer [ __ ] Olivia Newton John to clean I like it all I like it all right good yeah both are good but it is nice it's a real charge for you when you're a teenager and you get to see that I don't like them that's tight yeah while she's gonna be pissed when she gets a hold of him that's what they should put on TV when she he disappeared I read this article by the way he owed they talk about this child support thing do you know how much he owed in child support like 800 a month this is not a major this was a tad type um uh cost sorry Dad but the 800 a month do you think with the proceeds from this wonderful song Xander did which is by the way probably where he was hiding New Mexico it's right on the coast he'd think that that alone could have covered the cost but apparently not wow and if I'm not mistaken I think she was recovering from breast cancer maybe

46:15 that's what it was maybe that's why he left I would put him number 3 on the jerk report which will now be numbered right well we'll hope so in the future Dave will start numbering The Jerk report but it certainly seems like he warrants a place on it and I would like to say this to miss Olivia Newton John and the entire Newton-John family especially the female segment if you um if you're looking for some companionship in this difficult time I would be more than happy to accommodate you is there an open invitation for Olivia Newton-John to go on Jimmy Kimmel Live sure absolutely so that's how she feels about this jerk she doesn't even have to talk about that you know if she just wants to make out or something by the beach I would be happy to do that as well what is the message of Greece too by the way is it if you're a nice girl you don't get the fella but if you turn into a filthy [ __ ] that it is that is

47:00 the message that's what I took from terrible that's the exact message of greed and it's an important message for children to learn well speaking of Paradigm shifting music Paris Hilton's new song stars are blind yeah has been leaked on the internet we have it here for you Paris Hilton is leaking this really is it this is stars are blind yes it's got a reggae tinge defeat too I'm gonna admit something I don't think it's bad I really are you sure you want to do this well you know what her voice is not great but it's no worse than most everyone else's say don't mind spending some time it's got a nice The Tide is High Tide feet to it I like to set this keep it going because this is nice I like it I like to see her sex video along with this bouncy little music video as well you know a sweet song for something so yeah disturbing let's hear the chorus hit that let's hear it that's not bad I don't know what it means stars are

48:27 blind it doesn't mean anything she's an idiot but it sounds okay I mean it's what they've done basically is they they take in Paris and they said say this exactly right here but it sounds like she's kind of on key and I'm sure the video will be filthy oh yeah all right so you're on record of saying this is a d I'm on record to saying this is uh one of the best songs I've ever heard all right it sounds all right I mean you would expect it's disappointing really because you're hoping for uh what was that Kevin featherline song or something but this is out no it's not Huey Lewis on the news how dare you how dare you Huey Lewis probably will be joining me on the program triumphantly and in concert with Chicago here in Los Angeles and all over in many of the markets um he'll be on my show next Tuesday Jimmy are you are you Wednesday rather Wednesday are you a fan of Last Comic Standing I hate it oh yeah but go

49:25 ahead and talk about it perhaps I'll skip my next no no don't skip it go ahead uh 20 comedians competed last night to get into the finals here's a gal I like Roz uh-oh why are you always late for work cause it makes the make so faster why do you hate the show I just it's you know it's it's sad to me because you see these veteran Comics people that are really good really talented humiliating themselves by joining you know these group of lunatics and then people let you know I mean people that I see at the Improv and people that are veteran solid Comics they get rejected by this show and then somebody like that fan winds up winning it and you never see him again it just seems like they don't pick the best people to be honest I agree there were some very funny people that did not move through to the final five it was upsetting perhaps I'll never report on it again yeah well listen go ahead but I

50:27 personally I don't care for the show but I know those there are those that do I like to see the battle I would watch a show that was all the terrible comments that's what's enjoyable that's the fun part but they they go right by it they go too fast a New York City woman went in for an eight dollar eyebrow wax and ended up with suspicious lesions near her eyebrows it turns out she caught herpes simplex 1 and believes the salon is responsible according to Dr Cornell it is actually possible to get herpes from an eyebrow wax really if she could get herpes from an eyebrow wax Adam could actually get AIDS from that with that giant eyebrow of his he should be concerned herpes from an eyebrow yes I by the way I'm canceling all bikini waxes where was the eyebrow is the eyebrow on her private parts no it was no it was right above her eyes right above her eye all right yeah she got the lesions and I like the cases going to

51:22 trial nice now you may have heard about the Brad Pitt Angelina baby I didn't know if they had one yeah you didn't oh my God that's so great really yeah I made sure it was buried on page 23 of every newspaper yeah it's all Corolla talk how much did they get for those photos Okay well here's the deal they got about 4.1 million dollars from People magazine and reports are they got about the same from a British weekly called hello well the cover of that magazine Hello magazine has Brad Angie and the baby and it's already been leaked onto several internet sites yeah we played it on the show last night I like that that they spent 4 million on it and we got it for free although they're saying maybe that wasn't the baby who the hell knows though they're babies they look exactly how can you tell I thought it was a cute baby well sure of course it was cute babe they're not gonna put an ugly baby if they're

52:12 faking the picture plus Brad and Angela they're incapable if they had an ugly baby the world would end like Port remember when Billy Joel had the kid with uh yes Alexa Alexis Christie Brinkley yeah and then the kid got a little bit older and then you saw that she was gonna look like Bill and it was a very sad thing and I think they actually locked the child away and made me change the kid's name and sent her to another country because I have not seen Alexa Ray in several years I speak to Mexico with Olivia Newton John's boyfriend all right a 54 year old Canadian man uh needed a light he really needed a light so he walked into a business and he asked for one only the business was a police station and the man needed a light for his half-field crack pipe he was promptly arrested and charged with possession of a controlled substance stupid crack guys it's weird that somebody on crack would make a bad

53:03 decision yeah you don't expect that from them may he rest in peace God bless his soul Apprentice winner Sean well he's in Hell by the way he's not I know people have the idea that all celebrities go to heaven no matter what they do but Rick James is in hell I'm pretty sure roasting in hell right now in fact they're roasting him with a crack pipe in hell I'm sorry go ahead awesome anyway sweet irony Apprentice winner Sean is now engaged to fellow season five contestant Tammy they met on the show and obviously These reality show relationships usually do Go the Distance so I wish them well I'm Theresa strawser and that's the news thank you it's time for Dave damashek's number one sports number one Sports

54:03 that's awesome the originator of The Magnificent intro let's go to the National Pastime Orange County Halos beat the Rays of Tampa Bay Oakland athletically superior to the show and what are they now uh uh what is it uh only 100 more games left oh I'm sorry I wanted you to feel comfortable I thought I was gonna get a two-day break no no no sorry you didn't Mariners over the twinks the senior circuit Dodgers dumped the New York metropolitans big story from that game bombs closer air gonya got his first save in almost a year Arizona snakes meantime got whipped by the Phillies Padres shut out by the beer makers gigantics beat the Florida Fish you know we're two days away now from World Cup very exciting I am actually going to tune in I don't care what any American says I'm looking forward to it listener Sean Long wrote in to give me a few more names to whip my appetite forget about chichu and TAMU that's

55:00 that's yesterday's news listen to some of these names Holland has a player Raphael vandervart AC Milan Brazil plays caca what his name is Kaka he plays for Brazil how do you spell k-a-k-a that's Kaka that's not Kaka that's he's got the little Accent on the second is it is he fast because then he gets the runs I see gold Kaka here's your best one though kaka's Dynamite the czechoslovakians have a guy named Thomas UFA Lucy Lucy hey there's a report we just stopped for Lucy I love it I love it I'm gonna be on cloud nine now Clippers this is the weirdest thing the Clippers had a spike in merchandise their merchandise 137 by Far and Away the the biggest jump in uh for any NBA team this in spite of the fact that their own players don't even know what a Clipper is I'm Sean given stand on point guard from the Los Angeles Clippers and I can't from Peoria High School in Illinois all right let's start out with an easy

56:11 one what is a clipper wow I don't know that's something I'm still trying to figure out everybody you know says the barbershop but I know it's not that so yeah started out in San Diego why don't you go ahead and just take a guess no I probably I wasn't born if you weren't born for something then of course what the hell is a Laker while you're at it and by the way if they jumped 137 percent in Jersey sales that means they went from 11 to 18 jerseys sold or you know 25 jerseys sold in a year because nobody was wearing Clippers crack I wonder where they rank on the actual on the real list because they have a horrible the the you know the White and the red and the blue it's nothing you want to buy if anyone from the Clippers wishes to contact me I have some wonderful ideas I'm sure you do that's right I do as a matter of fact now NBA Finals 5-0 tomorrow Dallas Texas in the scene Shaq Foo Dirk Nowitzki

57:11 Dwyane Wade Mark Cuban at all Mark Cuban by the way will be on the show tomorrow as Will Bill Walton to break it down for us but uh Shaq Foo was talking about what the key to his relationship with uh Dwyane Wade has been versus his prior ones with a penny Hardaway and a guy named Kobe uh I called Dwayne so I told him I said listen this is what happened in Orlando with me and what you call this is what happened in L.A with me and what's going none of that could happen between me and you Kobe Bryant reduced a candy bar name Whatchamacallit yeah so in other words Dwayne Wade do not accuse me of paying a woman off after uh after sex to the police that's the message to Dwayne and lastly the uh the you know the Mayors they always have to make a bet on these finals so the Dallas mayor and the Miami Mayors have made their bets so hey Miami's bad is if they lose stone crabs and Cuban food the uh of

58:06 course Dallas Cowboy Boots and Tex-Mex food is the bet just once I would like a mayor to be so confident to let's make a bet 78 000 that would be great it would be even simpler though if they did the BET was like it you have to you have to french kiss a man if you're like you have the French kiss another man preferably the coach of the losing team like if Miami loses the mayor Miami and Pat Riley have to touch tongues and really go at it that would be something to see who cares what they get to eat Laura Miller in the Manny Diaz yeah what kind I mean you lose a bet and then you have to eat good food yeah the punishment yeah well no you lose the bet you don't get the food you don't get anything yeah yeah number one sports that was the number two sports right there Dave I have to say um we have uh we're gonna again uh Adam is at the hospital if you're just tuning in this Jimmy Kimmel filling in for him

59:07 we're gonna check in with him um in hopefully delivery room although he claims that uh for some reason he's decided it is uh immasculine to enter the delivery room although I would bet anything that Adam will be in there at the very least to look at and touch the equipment and to complain as much as possible we'll check in with Adam in a minute uh drunken Tree mascot is going to be with us in a moment as well so stick around won't you thanks there's more coming up the Adam Carolla show what is it spell though she got drunk in her costume she smells like a bar room kicked out of Stanford drunk Tree mascot I didn't hear me need a bucket completely loaded her beer gut is bloated she'll screw you for a quarter drunk tree mascots champagne makes me fart yeah there you go drunken free mascot is actually roaming around the hall wow I you know I've never met the drunken Tree mascot in person but uh a beautiful

1:00:36 young man this is Aaron I'm Jimmy Kimmel filling in for Adam Carolla who is uh who's having babies this morning we're gonna check in with him in a moment hello there Aaron how are you what happened to you um no no I'm not animal I'm not Adam Adam is listen just listen to me because I've been through it I've gained weight I've lost one yeah it's like just cause your wife is gaining weight doesn't mean that you have the license to take like you know like a little bit of something smaller partial yeah but you don't understand I'm not Adam I'm never mind she's a mess again how many times have we talked about the drinking yeah all over the studio too not just one microphone but using all of them that a human body is most Loosely made up of water yeah damn the dork

1:01:37 that's nice in here yeah oh look at that a beer at this hour that is well yeah he got a pick yourself up somehow yeah I guess so all right well done why are you here this morning Erin what is your purpose here today well I rolled over and I heard the radios on it and that that we're getting pretty close here in the hospital so this baby's coming out there when I put these microphones actually in the hospital now we're in the radio station in the same station that you normally come to Adam is in the hospital but Adam is not here whatever anyway in the hospital which didn't a lot of security anyway my point is I forgot didn't you want to become Adam's Nanny that's it thank you Chelsea okay well again we've met many times [ __ ] it's just a sound effect don't worry about it I know these babies are on their way yeah they are on their way this position is probably getting down to the wire yeah and I want to be your

1:02:46 Nanny because I think I'd be a beautiful mommy yeah if I had a baby I would walk it never even threw it yeah but so that's it I'm coming on to prove my cake have you ever done any babysitting before no not really yeah babies you have I was in the primary key Terry at the time what I wasn't the primary kitten tanker Kern you were around whose babies were you around I don't know whoever they were I was in a park yeah all right so you've been to the park all right so that's not bad you got a little bit of experience hi Adam no no Adam again I'm not Adam but we do have another candidate Nanny position you didn't I don't know if you've heard but we have another as you say finalist for the position I think her name's Cassandra she goes to San Diego State she did not take any other summer job because she's been banking on this one really to be at to become Adam's Nanny well let's put her on the

1:03:46 top with Aaron for the job hi Cassandra how are you good how are you well I'm doing well thank you you should know now that uh that drunken Tree mascot is also interested in that here yeah drunken Tree mascot may be interested but I talked to Adam and Adam doesn't want her so I talked to Adam too and he was like the new roasted he don't even know who Adam is hold on for one second because I would like to because I actually live right down the block from Adam and so it's important to me that he has a good nanny too because this is somebody that I'll be dealing with a lot do you want to deal with her no you don't oh well I I haven't decided but tell me a little bit about yourself if you would I'm Puerto Rican hey be quiet you live in a [ __ ] Hut but Puerto Ricans technically become Mexicans when they cross the Mississippi River true yeah no we're not oh you're not oh you don't okay all right

1:04:47 no she doesn't she lives in San Diego you're what are you studying there in San Diego uh nursing nursing oh that's good and I speak sign language and babies can sign before they can speak they're not Adam's kids they won't be signing out Adam could barely sign his own name I've said this before and I will say it again I am willing depressed feet yeah all right are you willing Cassandra to breastfeed the children I don't think you're able to do that unless you have your own babies but lactate you know what that's a negative attitude anything you shut your mind to what I'm trying to wow you're trying to now tell us about yourself physically which is really the most important um consideration well I'm later on site too I weigh 115. my measurements are 34C 28 36 I am now flat one and um yeah I'm curvy I'm Puerto Rican too it might be another word he is I have medium length dark hair medium length hair okay all right that's the

1:05:54 most important thing in life of your hair it's almost a physics problem and yet you're not willing to use them to feed these children I think you create a little too chaotic an environment for twins can you trust Puerto Ricans can people trust Puerto Ricans you can see that you can't I'm not gonna I'm not gonna get drunk around the baby I'm not gonna be trying to like walk them when they can't even sit you put them on a leash it's not that hard see that's terrible yeah I agree with you now you will not get drunk around the baby but what about around Adam I mean Adam is Adam's wife his beautiful wife Leonard is going to be going through a bit of a recovery period And this is not just about taking care of the children this is also about taking care of the husband who works so hard which is my main um my main reason to become a nanny but don't tell Annette that don't worry Lynette is heavily sedated

1:07:20 right now and this is a great time to advance two of us that you would indeed I'm just trying to get an atom ever since he was on Loveline like I started um I started liking him when I was 15. and I used to live close to where he used to do his show yeah but I could never go like I would um okay so you would be in a way I'd feel safer having drunken dream basket The Nightmare on Aaron can you just let me just ask you a serious question Barbara thank you yeah it's Teresa if you do breastfeed the babies the breastfeeding mothers cannot drink well I'm getting I'm getting the milk from bresca let's be honest about it okay I'm chubby or I'm a lesbian pickles I will arrest you and then I will whenever you do after that yeah breast great now you you will be actually lactating for the children now they're fighting now drunken dream mascot and roskar are physically uh wait here I will mace you Cassandra have

1:08:32 you ever met Adam no but I want to meet him okay so you're not a stalker then because you never saw him out I didn't want to see that because I knew you guys would think that yeah um another beer I'm just trying to like I don't think Adam cares as long as the measurements add up correctly because you know how it goes on the radio people exaggerate a little and make them so I only think she always tells me I have to lose 20 pounds which I can't Adam tells you to lose 20 pounds I like the first time I called he said well first of all you need to lose 20 pounds well how much do you love these babies I mean if you really love these but yeah if I lost 20 pounds I'd be 95 pounds yeah that is he's right that is too that's but maybe you lose that's only ten right you said you're 115. yeah all right I don't feel like I can make the final decision but I think Adam has two very excellent candidates and I'm going to

1:09:25 say this there's two babies here there's no reason we couldn't have two nannies one there's no reason at all I swear I'll be good Cassandra wants the little boy Aaron the drunk intrigger would you would you take the little girl little girl Corolla sure all right we got a deal then we got two nannies for Adam yay it sounds like the worst sitcom ever my two nannies all right all right well thank you very much Cassandra I'm gonna put a good N word word in for you we'll keep the whole sex with Adam thing quiet from Lynette all right and what was I going to tell you I don't know what you're going to tell me I have no way of knowing that how could I ever know what you were gonna tell me don't tell him that I'm a sucker don't don't tell them oh you are a stalker no I'm not but you are in love with him I am I'm very much you should meet us down the police station honey all right very good thanks

1:10:20 uh thanks to Cassandra in San Diego we'll be in touch with you very soon I may need a nanny who knows you know maybe I'll adopt something in high school all right but you know what somebody needs to drive into school and then come back and have sex with me uh thank you uh Cassandra Aaron drunken tree girl thank you so much great to meet you in person nice to meet you lovely woman and any family would be happy to have you as their Nanny our phone number here is 866-901 Adam Ada shimmy Kimmel filling in for Adam Carolla when we come back we're gonna play what can't Adam complain about without I don't know how we're gonna do this right now but we are gonna do it but I tell you what we're gonna figure it out during this commercial break and when we come back good times also a review of Rocky Six coming up and also so we can play what can't Adam complain about we need callers we need things like yeah Adam has complained about

1:11:15 dolphins you're right boobs beer so on again 866 901 Adam is the telephone number and we'll be right back the Adam Carolla show we got a question for DeFranco I got a buddy that's throwing a three kegger on Friday night I gotta go to traffic school on Saturday morning 7 30. pull it all nighter where does it say in the U.S Constitution that there's a law against going to Travis school with it the Adam Carolla show all right so what do you do you call in you throw out a topic I complain about it I cannot complain about death fry guy over here and you talk about him um I am a fan of death rat guy but death rat guy is a fan of himself he has a sense of entitlement he really looks at himself as as the entire program he looks at us as merely players and the death frat guy Morning Show essential massage ah that includes the happy ending a happy release it is uncomfortable all right that's Adam Carolla this is

1:12:30 Jimmy Kimmel filling in Adam is at the hospital where his wife Lynette is uh has gone under the knife she's having twins today they're having a boy and a girl I'm filling in and we're gonna hear from Adam in a little while and hopefully find out what he's decided to name these kids already uh but in the meantime we're gonna do we're gonna carry on with what can't Adam go oh what is this I can't Adam complain about her phone number is 866-901 Adam drunken Tree mascot I thought you left you yeah look fat no I'm not well can I say something yeah upside yeah a lot quicker on the whip you into clowns that's very nice of you to say I appreciate that information but um drunken tree mask on has re-entered the studio you do an Adam Carolla imitation true yeah I do I do it goes like this ready yeah I'm ready the new roasted Panino that's it I can describe what's on the sandwich if you want all right a Quiznos

1:13:35 sandwich yeah okay all right well we're going to do this and help help me out and uh we're doing what can't Adam complain about cue the music stuff the world is full of it and one man has a complaint for it all this is what can't Adam complain about we will begin with Alfred in Downey hello Alfred what would you like to hear Adam complain about um The Who the who you have the who that here's the thing about the hoe uh great band but uh who decided they turned into a TV theme song with the CSI all of a sudden Baba O'Riley is up there with the the theme from Growing Pains the who and what's with that confusing name of that song they don't say Bob O'Reilly anywhere in the song why would you name a song after something that's not even in the lyrics the hill who brought this new roasted potatoes delicious all right very good oh and uh we've got Rebecca from Las Vegas hello Rebecca how you guys doing

1:14:51 we're doing well thank you what can Adam complain about how can anyone complain about Teresa's vagina oh Teresa well that's not you gotta do it as Adam drunken free mascot because that's let me begin and say uh you know we hear so much about about uh Teresa's vagina where is it uh I've never seen it it's like the Osama Bin Laden the vaginas already bring it out let's see show your face

1:15:36 Rebecca from Fresno California hello Rebecca hello what can't Adam complain about this morning how can you not how can you complain about the last day of school before summer break you know what when your kid the last day of school's a great day I hear that bell ring sounds something like this you get out you feel like the whole world is ahead of you got so much to look forward to and then you're sitting in uh the garage of your Stepmother's house and you're uh you can scouring the place for a bag of Cheetos there's nothing to eat there's nothing to do the cable is out your parents are too goddamn cheap to get HBO and you realize you got three months of this in the roasting heat in Van Nuys you're probably gonna wind up cleaning carpets for the rest of your life but if you're lucky you'll go to Junior College the hell with the last day of school I see fish tank that's my damn Mark in Seattle Mark what

1:16:49 can Adam complain about how could you possibly complain about a stop sign in the road well no problem complaining about stop sign who are they to tell me who is the government to tell me when I can when I should stop away and she go and by the way if you're gonna have a stop sign what about a ghost sign how can we never see any gold signs never tell us pie just go just go right ahead now always stop stop the government wants is your money they're just looking to get tickets so that you get in trouble have to give their money that's all they care about that's all you have to know I hate stop signs I hate stop signs with bottom of my heart unless of course there's new roasted Panino on Top shooting up there and I'll say oh boy oh boy all right all right next up Janet from San Francisco janetwood can Adam complain about well I want to say Jimmy Kimmel oh that's a good all right it should be

1:17:45 interesting Jimmy Kimmel what does this guy think he is handsome funny smart it's too much already listen the rest of us are only human who does this guy where does he get off where does he come from I'll tell you something I've seen the guy naked nothing to look at nothing to see there looking at a at a goat with its pants off anything drunk oh my God yeah you Jimmy kill me yes that's right that's right yeah

1:18:36 feel like I've been raped and I have all right thank you probably ask Aaron uh yeah all right thanks drunken tree mask I'd have been thrown out of the studio right now a beautiful lady we're gonna take a break uh our phone number again if you want to chime in on any Topic at all 866 901 Adam when we come back one of the folks here at the show got to see Rocky six an early cut of Rocky six last night and we're gonna hear all about the elderly Sylvester Stallone taking on Wilford Brimley right his opponent I think or is it Ned Beatty I don't know and also we're going to hear from Adam if uh if God willing everything's going well there at the hospital be right back Jimmy Kimmel in for Adam Carolla celebrity he has a c-lister but a celebrity I will have a couple of children if I at any point two years from now decide I'm gonna sit down and Pen myself a children's book I want you to attack me with a folding chair

1:19:32 there's a lot more coming up so stay here or there and wherever you are just don't change the station see Adam Carolla show let's check Adam's voicemail on the Adam Carolla show crazy I'm listening to you on the internet and uh I had a question uh regarding um if your show's ever going to come live out here syndicated in New York um no sure sure like to hear you over here uh thanks for the uh you know the good times in the morning and uh you know look forward to uh some of your shows now back to the Adam Carolla show scintillating um little piece of production there and the man responsible for it is here with us uh nothing more interesting than hearing a guy say he wishes the show was on New York Mike Dawson is here uh Jimmy Kimmel filling in for Adam Corolla we're gonna talk to Adam in a little while he's having his twin babies right now or at least I think his wife is gonna have them this time around but uh we have an

1:20:42 interesting thing here because we CA I came in this morning and Mike said that you saw what movie last night I saw Rocky six but it's it's called Rocky Balboa it's called Rocky Balboa yeah there's no number with it no number at all really wow that's interesting how did you come how did this is the movie that um many jokes have been made about yeah in fact I think we have the um do we have that we have a little bit of we have a little bit of audio from the film Rocky six it's a advanced movie This Christmas for his life

1:21:30 Rocky six Rocky drops dead oh it's I thought you said it was called Rocky Balboa it's actually called Rocky drops dead that would be a great title for the movie how did how did it happen that you got to see it a friend of mine works for MGM is he supposed to be showing this to you oh no they actually they did it inside the MGM kind of Studio building it was a theater with about 50 seats maybe and a bunch of guys who are really just way too important for themselves I'll stand around why did they ask you to come to it my friend got the tickets said it's an advanced screening she said I was the first one she thought of you want to go see Rocky and I said yeah did you have to fill out a comment card or something I did I did and what did you tell us well first of all tell us what the movie's about wait a second before we get to that yeah before I don't know that you're worthy of even having seen

1:22:16 this did you enjoy the previous Rocky picture that's a good question oh yeah dude you lucky Rocky is a superhero one of course is great two Dynamite when he gets up off the canvas at the last second to beat Creed and take the crown three then Drago four you like these pictures even Rocky four you like because I loved Rocky Ford James Brown was rad Living in America yeah yeah I don't that's hardly the highlight of the film but um so what happens in Rocky Balboa Rocky six well it starts out Rocky's uh down and out and yo Adrian's dead oh no Adrian's dead what happened uh well you know she always had some some problems with the pet store she had the heart palpitations whatever she died she did not go the distance she did not go 15 rounds all right so she she's dead and what he's he's done when he's down and out and he bores everybody kind of like uh the guy on The Sopranos who owns a restaurant

1:23:18 yeah he interrupts everywhere Rocky does but he tells stories about his fights right and everyone's sick of hero Mick says and they are they're totally sick of hearing them and then uh Rocky decides that he needs to get back in the ring because you got to live for what you got to live for he's like you can't you you gotta do what you love badly or you'll badly Miss what you love it was one of the is that actual dialogue yeah you know give or take her how old is he supposed to be uh he said in his 50s he's in his 50s in the movie he just turned 60 I think last week in real life in the movies they they uh do not say 60 who does he fight he fights the heavyweight champion of the world the current one Mason the line Dixon no tune-up fights he immediately gets a shot in the ring and does he win the fight I shouldn't say that should I no you shouldn't I don't think so yeah does he win it though I'll answer any questions

1:24:18 just nod to me yes or no he does not okay listen you don't know spoiler alert oh oh I didn't realize people were gonna go see it listen this movie's not coming not coming out until Christmas and um I mean despite Mike's endorsement there's no way it's going to be good let's be honest hold on is there a love interest at all uh yeah actually the love interest is kind of funny remember in Rocky one where Rocky walks the uh the girl home from hanging out with the boys on the streets and it tells her you know yeah stay in school and all that stuff and then she goes yo Rock screw you you creep right right that's the love interest speaking of creepy that's one thing I liked and hated about the movie at the same time it's like one major flashback so Mike on a scale of one to ten how do you rate Rocky six Rocky Balboa

1:25:18 you'd hope that a sequel would at least get the number behind the name of the film I would have given Rocky five a two yeah all right so they're moving up maybe Rocky seven a six yeah all right so far well that's pretty cool that you got to see that that's interesting and they're doing another Rambo also will you get to see that in advance uh after this I don't know all right very good all right Stallone look good at least uh actually he was really wrinkly he looks really old and he's got these big veins really and you know the whole time in the beginning of the movie he's he's wearing these big baggy clothes to cover himself up and I think it's because he's so ripped that by the time he gets in the ring you're gonna think ah he's been working out man here come the muscles I see now really no muscles dude Central and yet he'd kick every one of our asses if he was in here yeah totally well

1:26:09 there you go it'll review a very early review of Rocky six thank you Mike and Balboa loses at the end yes and he loses at the end in case you want to save eight dollars he loses at the End by the way Mike Dawson never invited to another screening that's right I hope you enjoyed it Mike all right let's do the news huh yeah it's not time for news what goes on I think you did the news at the top of the hour here all right well what's our plan then we got Joe Rogan coming in uh right from Fear Factor in a minute we have um have you seen these um these uh the Myspace battle between Joe and some kid it's better than any Rocky if you've ever read the battle between Joe Rogan and his college kid it's definitely better than rocky six I guess right I would give it an eight this um is a just to give you a little bit of a a sample of this this is a uh uh an exchange that starts with a kid named Kevin saying Joe

1:27:07 Rogan I hate you you're not funny and it goes on and gets nastier and nastier and nastier like a lot of these things do but um this one it happens to involve a celebrity and I guess also Joe got enough he got in a fist fight with one of the contestants on Fear Factor last week so we're gonna bring Joe in for some counseling um a little bit later on and uh we're gonna take a break now Adam Carolla also will hear from him he's at the hospital having twins it's Jimmy Kimmel Sitting In For Adam on the atom Corolla show by the way Jimmy Rocky six left this reviewer cold thank you as well the Adam Carolla show if you're gonna wake up with a strange hairy man it might as well be him if you told me when I was 15 hey you can just talk to people all day long and the computer ask them anything you want I probably would have done it only problem is is you cannot text a handy hold on let us laugh stick around headed your way more on the

1:28:12 Adam Carolla show and now Oswaldo reads the 100 greatest movie of all time number 72 from Mommy Dearest ever now back to the Adam Carolla show yeah thank you Oswaldo uh Jimmy Kimmel sitting here for Adam Carolla Adam is at the hospital having twin babies in the meantime you know what happens when Adam goes away you know who steps in and fills the Gap none other than Joe Rogan right here hi Joe Rogan is with us from Fear Factor uh Tuesday nights at eight the reality star edition of Fear Factor starts next week on NBC and uh you have a gig at The Canyon Club as well on Friday night this Friday night yes at nine o'clock in Agora Hills West Valley representing you two are Arch Rivals well you know it's funny you say that because people do presume that but I happen to like Joe a lot and not just a little bit but but a lot and um people assume that because Joe followed me on the man show that there's some sort of

1:29:21 uh Joe doesn't like yeah man but uh but he's always trying to cause conflict with me because you know people really wanted you to say bad things about us when he took over the man show and you never did and in fact you went out of your way to uh to do the opposite and I I do appreciate that I always did appreciate it well I thought that was ridiculous oh come on give me a hug play the music okay I'm okay now but um but Joe is very funny guy and Joe is the host of a show that people thought oh this is trash television this is never going to last and now this show Fear Factor has been on longer than than even yester it's been on how long has the show been on though this is the sixth season the sixth season but it you know a lot of shows will say oh this is the sixth season this is a real I mean you guys do full seasons this is a serious sixth season it's the most we've ever done is 34 episodes a season really

1:30:14 wow oh my God it's just brutal and how does that process go because at a certain point it must be difficult to continue to come up with ideas are you involved you would have nothing to do with it yeah we have uh the the episodes we're Aaron right now are probably the last ones while overdue it's uh June it's gonna air June July and August I think we have 12 or 13 more episodes and then most likely that's the end it hasn't been officially canceled but the ratings were horrible when it was when they were adding it before you see what I like most about Joe is a salesmanship I'm you know I I'm a stand-up comedian everything else I just do for money and uh I don't necessarily want to do Fear Factor no Joe um this Fear Factor though sounds kind of interesting yeah this is the reality one they keep hyping up this uh fight between me and one of the contestants and uh I'll give you the whole story this is what it was there's

1:31:06 this guy uh who was on from The Amazing Race it was all reality stars and there's one of the contestants for The Amazing Race this guy Jonathan Baker and his wife and they're famous for getting in fights on The Amazing Race where he shoved his wife down he seems to be a lunatic not a not a very nice person so anyway while they're doing this stunt they're they're screaming and yelling at each other obscenities you effing [ __ ] and you this and you that and and while they're screaming at each other trying to get the stunt done this kid from Survivor this guy Johnny Fairplay is heckling them oh yeah that guy he's you know he's really funny it was like you know you're dead she's dead weight Jonathan get rid of her get a new woman and you know and they're yelling you shut up it's really really funny so anyway they get eliminated and uh when they come back to the lineup the woman walks up to this Johnny Fairplay kit and

1:31:53 punches him and his stomach as hard as she could really yeah yeah she punched him is that on gonna be on the show yeah yeah I punched her husband well yeah for sure they already do that and that's what part of the problem was and so I said what are you doing I said you just because you hate your husband doesn't mean you can hit other people and so the guy got in my face hey hey it was like the lamest like you know banter back and forth he's like hey hey ham and I said something like no hey hey hey and he said hey hey hey back and then I just shoved him and then hey hey hey it wasn't like the Happy hey hey what's happening hey hey hey no it was just so it was so weird but I didn't trust him he got like right next to my like you know a half an inch from my face and I was like this guy's gonna hit me no so I pushed him and then I grabbed the back of his head and held on to him really they separated really yeah I thought he

1:32:41 was gonna hit me for sure yeah so you were dying for him to hit you though that was that was the preferred thing to happen because you're a killer and you do it for fun you're fighting for fun and to be able to beat some man who beats his wife up on television on television would be the ultimate for sure that would have been a good time for sure I wouldn't have felt bad about that at all I'm seeing on CNN right now the Queen Latifah is announcing National Women's confidence day breaking news I just want to make sure I got that in so we weren't Google I'm sorry I wasn't on there hey Teresa you really have to be on this stuff so this whole thing is on television yeah most of it um for whatever reason they didn't want to air me pushing him out of my face really so yeah they said well that makes you look bad I go dude that's what happened just air it I don't care yeah I mean I don't I did I did not feel like I

1:33:31 was safe I felt like this guy was crazy screaming and yelling he hits his wife he's gonna hit me I felt that way when Dave yelled at me it's not even confident well no you can't tell Joe let's not get into it because that only entices him more than he wants to hear about it and I can respect your space mistakes and I've worked hard directive that's beautiful yeah and Roscoe is the one who's responsible well it's just I mean you know on on National Women's confidence day as announced by Queen Latifah it's so it's not it's the sort of thing that you want to steer clear of am I supposed to have confidence When someone tells me to ask myself I'm sorry that's okay you can use my time for this you do a lot of things and that um you know a lot of events transpire in your life and people will only seem to be interested in the stuff that that it's it's you know the fighting that sort of thing you had a um

1:34:37 a battle actually Teresa was telling me about it with some kid on MySpace on email battle with this kid it was epic it's hardly epic it was different when people well I was bored you know it was uh an early morning I had to get out because I was doing some radio call-ins and I was up so while I was up I was checking my email and uh this is one kid who emailed me before he insulted me before then he did it again but I'm like you know what it's not like it's totally Anonymous like an email when you said a MySpace dude I got pictures of you oh I know what you look like you're 20 years old I know where you live and it's like you want to be mean to some person you don't even know and so for whatever reason that morning I decided I'm gonna be mean to you too and let's see how you like it and we went back and forth and then I mean I was never took it personally or anything but at the end of it he actually apologized it did yeah he

1:35:29 said if you saw me in the street he would shake my hand I said I would too of course you kill him I mean of course he would shake it too that was wasn't the whole point the point was like you don't know me like why being mean like you just some Rand if you came up to me on the street and said I hate you like face to face there's there's a weird thing about the internet where people removed from the consequences of being crappy to people yeah yeah I agree with you it's like a drive-by insult they don't have to face you and so I said let's just get into a battle you know and he calls me a loser and I'm like well okay look let's compare lives where are you can I read them yes Teresa Teresa is in love with this she really is that's what's fascinating to me is why I thought it was the lamest thing ever it's boring no it is fascinating to me because it's the type of thing you you sort of wish you in a way you wish

1:36:16 you could say these things to people but then you think better of it yeah well yes that's my collect their thoughts before typing them and Publishing them on MySpace of a filter between my brain and my mouth you type and press send and that's it here's a little snippet um to this the kid's a college kid right Kevin um who wrote you and uh yes at least that's what it said it's Myspace he could be like a 60 year old woman yeah

1:36:44 to this college kid you're a loser pal always have been always will be if you're lucky you'll find some sad chick that's willing to let you shoot a live round inside of her and then you'll have a little Kevin that you will struggle to feed and raise that's about the best you're ever going to do and even then you'll have to live with the fact that a guy like me could always steal her away from you with minimal effort wow and and this kid started it he started by simply saying Joe Rogan I hate you you're not funny and then you said I love the fact that you need attention so badly you have to email me that enjoy your depression and he says you really are an idiot yeah yeah it goes back and forth and he ends one thing he says to you enjoy balding which is not something a man wants to hear well that's what it was on I was like all right [ __ ] you want to get personal but he's just a little faster and I'm like

1:37:38 that's the thing about see people are used to just being able to do that on the internet just send off an email or say whatever you want but with Myspace it's like I know where you live I have pictures of you I know what you look like I know your hobbies I know your interests yeah I can read your blog and know you're [ __ ] you know it's like there's so much information here's a quiz I just wanted to be clear that I don't hate this kid and I actually we actually did have a little back and forth conversation after it was over and I made up with them it's no big deal here's a quiz from the listeners is this an email to um his or her fans from a Joe Rogan or B Oprah you're an ugly fat face zero and I'm a famous multi-millionaire those are the facts there dear friend Kevin Kevin Kevin actually does I mean for a kid against a professional comedian he does get off some some good ones he says um and not that this is true Joe he says

1:38:28 he says people like you are the reason that everybody thinks they can make it in Hollywood and because people like because of people like you uh look at William Hung and he also says you did Kill The Man Show insecure I guess you have something in common because you keep coming back at me your career is about over anyway do you plan to work the family hardware store after that I'll be back after your next message to me I have a bag of Snacky Cakes to eat and then Joe responded he says listen to answer your question when I was 20. I was U.S open Taekwondo champion and I was teaching it at Boston University going to UMass and thinking about doing instead of I wasn't insulting celebrities and then using my age as an excuse for why I've never accomplished anything what the f have you ever done come on fat boy please amazing seeing how people think this is interesting to me it's like just oh it's

1:39:16 great it is great but why is it why is it interesting because one person's famous and one person's 20. I think it's interesting one way or the other but I think it's more interesting like if you one of your friends had an exchange like this and sent it to you you'd be like oh and look at that and but people feel like they know you so that they feel like oh well right it's like one of my friends and also people think that you're not supposed if you're on if you're on television or whatever you're not supposed to talk like this to people yeah and I don't ever subscribe to that I think just speak your mind no matter what and that's what I thought and but like I said I don't hate this kid I didn't really think he's a loser have you ever feel bad no never spoken we have them on the telephone actually oh you're kidding we're gonna take a break and then we'll come back and talk to Kevin oh man has lost a few pounds

1:40:00 because this could be another brutal beating for 20 year old Kevin Joe Rogan is with us Fear Factor the final season holla hopefully the reality show Edition starts on uh on Tuesday night at age clock on NBC and you can see Joe live at The Canyon Club Friday night at nine in Agoura Hills here in California Joe Rogan is with us Adam Caroll is going to be calling in a minute he's having twins as we speak it's Jimmy Kimmel fill it in we'll be right back well all right this is the Adam Carolla show what up this is Andy Dick and you're listening to the Adam Carolla show hey give Adam a call at 1-866-901 Adam oh excuse me let's put a fart in there and I think that's funny hey if I fart that'll be funny yeah there's more coming up the Adam Carolla Show recently on Fear Factor host Joe Rogan gets into a brawl with a contestant hey hey what are you doing what are you doing you can't assault people what are

1:41:14 you doing he's yelling at you you can't run up to him and hit him look at you and your husband hit each other that's one thing you don't run up and hit on the contestants yelling at his wife the entire time he's sticking up for it he got in Joe's face oh my God and then all of a sudden they start going at it and I was like all right I gotta break this up this joke I would have to say that uh Joe Rogan is about a hundred times tougher than Jeff Bros I tell you higher praise have never been As Good As It Gets 100 times tougher than Jeff gross Joe Rogan is with us and shipping Kim will filling in for Adam Carolla we really are going to hear from Adam uh shortly he's at the hospital I think the babies are here and also his right hand man Oswaldo is on the scene but before that Joe is here Factor Tuesday night at 8 on NBC the reality star Edition you just heard a clip of Joe um put in a a guy who's uh at the very

1:42:19 least very rough with his wife in his place and Joey did it not roughly rough with his wife on TV on his wife yeah to the ground on TV like for instance The Cosby's um cliff and Heath and uh Claire Huxtable or whatever his name was they I mean they beat the crap out of each other okay but never on that when they were on camera it was real life yeah did Bill beat his wife no I made that up but but I'm sure we'll be hearing from Bill's attorneys nonetheless Joe you had a a battle with a guy on MySpace a 20 year old kid he's a college kid named Kevin where's Kevin from uh things somewhere in Ohio right from somewhere in Ohio don't you guys have them on the line we do have them on the line I just want to quickly recap because Teresa is um obsessed with this exchange and went back and forth started with the Kevin saying Joe Rogan I hate you you're not funny and it just it went on and it is mushroomed and back and

1:43:16 forth and that's what happens when I have a day off work this is why if you leave me alone in front of a keyboard that's right likely to type anything again just to recap Joe calls the kid a loser and says that the best he's ever gonna do is uh Mary a sad chick that's willing to let you shoot a live round inside of her and uh Kevin is on the telephone right now Joe and Kevin have never spoken before good morning Kevin how are you hey pretty good there he is that's Kevin hey Jeff what's going on buddy how are you man now Kevin why did you write this email in the first place you know I I didn't really put much thought into it you know I wrote on a bed and uh I don't know kind of snowballed from there what you went on to Joe Rogan's Myspace page no I checked my email you know I get uh emails from like whatever things come from Myspace and I had a flooded email account from like 20 like event

1:44:12 invitations in like La you know I'm from Ohio so of course I'm gonna be there in L.A invitations to do what I show up at some comedy show that Joe would be at oh I see because yeah when you sign up well had you signed up for Joe's Myspace actually uh he he uh invited me as a friend to him okay so like well he probably didn't do that probably it's actually a computer program and you said yes I will take you on as a friend oh yeah and then you decided to attack your friend yeah with friends like that and of course you probably didn't mean a lot by it you just were annoyed you got 20 emails in your MySpace account but um how has it have have you gotten a lot of attention from this do people even know that it's you well I mean I get people that like see me on campus or I mean it was on VH1 for a while and like on other like websites you know like probably a Hollywood gossip website so nothing

1:45:08 people are gonna see it let me ask you this how weird is that for you because like you know for me I thought it was weird because I couldn't believe anybody gave a crap oh yeah but how weird was it for you to like all of a sudden have people asking questions and wanting to talk to you about it like was that bizarre oh I I liked it when uh I got these uh messages from like Joe Rogan fans you know like threatening my life I didn't realize that like Fear Factor is that big of a deal the Rogan Army will crush you and they'll come to Ohio and find you I highly doubt it's Fear Factor fans are doing that but yeah I know um Kevin do you feel bad that you did because you did start this um uh not really how do you feel about Joe right now well I don't I don't really think about it much you know other than when people bring it up like every day to me so every day is all you think about it well he could he could say that yeah you

1:46:00 know where are you a fan of Joe's previous to this fight um be honest with you I didn't really follow him that much I mean he did take over for you in the man show and I was I was upset about that well that's not his fault yeah I mean I left and he was offered a job yeah I mean nobody could really fill in for Adam and Jimmy you know yeah you can't hold that against Joe though I mean you really can't no okay what bothered me about it and this is what I've said about it when I wrote about it is that when people are on the internet it removes the consequences of face-to-face communication like you know you can't just come up to someone that you don't know on the street and say I hate you you're not funny but you can do it on the internet and like why is that okay at the same time though you don't usually roll out of bed and have like 20 people waiting to talk to you as soon as you like roll over into your computer

1:46:48 you know well first of all don't you get spam email every day because I get hundreds of emails a day for you know big penis pills and you know whatever you want you know lose weight I don't really get big penis pill like emails but you don't get spam not really I mean I don't really sign up for it okay well it's not you don't sign up for spam but either way I mean look if you just said hey man can you stop sending me these things I get like 20 of them I'd be like sorry dude and I would send you uh an apology or I would tell my guy to remove you from the list or whatever but definitely at the same time though I mean it wasn't like a premeditated statement I was making to you I mean if you look at it it's like eight words right there well I understand that you just you know you just blurted out but you gotta what you're saying you know I mean it's not it's in you're not saying this sucks why do I keep getting these

1:47:35 you're saying I hate you yeah Kevin have you attacked other celebrities uh not really I mean you should do you're pretty good at it dude you should start go but do it for ones that are like douchebags I thought about taking on David Blaine you know now you're talking that seems dude let's Glitz go together on this typical effort yeah somebody goes in with a hammer and smashes his next snope globe that he he traps himself in some serious David Blaine trickery my friend yeah hold down his water his air hose next time I tell you what I am so glad to hear you guys talk this out because I hate to I hate to see any sort of conflict it upsets me to know that uh celebrities enjoy conflict I enjoy when people Heckle in the audience I I get a kick out of it I think it's funny because it's always it's there's always something more to it than you know what's being said that's what fascinates me Kevin can I ask you a question

1:48:28 because obviously you could have just written back unsubscribe but instead you took the time to write I hate you you're not funny and I'm just curious what was going through your mind well I mean people are people are like ask me that saying like oh why did you go out of your way to make this big attack on them but when you're on the internet all you have to do is type one little line and press enter exactly right from the consequences of being crappy to people oh maybe that a little bit but I mean it's not like I was planning like oh I got to get back at this guy for doing that Kevin were you molested Kevin I am so I'm so glad that we could get you and Joe on the phone together and work this out because that's the thing if the yeah if the Israelis and the Arabs if they could sit down on a MySpace account and then on a radio show together I think that we wouldn't have this conflict well to Kevin's credit he

1:49:21 actually wrote in in another message to me at the end of all this that if he saw him on the street he would come up to me and introduce himself and offer to shake my hand I said if you did that I would I feel like that's no longer true though I feel like this scab has been picked off prematurely now yes because you're a little [ __ ] you're a little woman hater alone and leave me alone Joe I will pay a hundred dollars if you punch him wow this is really turned into Fear Factor does get canceled I might need that money another successful episode of the Dr Phil show well thank you hey Kevin it was nice talking to you man seriously hey uh can I get like a windbreaker or anything like that well Cindy had a windbreaker are you effing stupid hang on Adam I mean Kevin rather Adam on the other hand is Adam Caroll is in the hospital and we have his right hand man Oswaldo on the phone right now who is at the hospital as well what's

1:50:18 going on Ozzie I see you baby man okay now they're supposed to have twins did they did they have twins yeah he had a boy and girl are they healthy yeah okay thank God very good now have you seen you've seen the children Ozzie What's it gonna say you've seen the kids yeah you see oh you saw them are they cute yeah you saw very cute kids yeah okay yeah the boy is the long one the boys foreign

1:51:12 sister that's no good you know what well that's great news Ozzy and how is Lynette doing 15 minutes I didn't understand any of that but perhaps Adam can help us translate because Adam is on the telephone right now can I put them on together yeah okay I gotta I don't know how to work this stuff here because I'm just a temp uh Adam how are you yeah hey congratulations congratulations dude yeah thank you Joe Rogan is here with us and Ozzy is on the phone hey honestly I want to apologize and when Ozzy walked into the waiting room they handed him a mop and I thought that's way out of line uh I agree with you so tell us about the kids well uh the boy is six pounds four ounces and the girl is 79 pounds how big is the girl you don't know it's a five pounds 12 ounces five pounds wow that's big those are big twins right like to make people what does it feel like you just made people well I actually picture masturbating into a

1:52:25 Dixie cup that's what it felt like to make these twins oh is that how you guys did it yeah the boy is named Adam because he's the long one Ozzy yeah yes now it is time to unveil the names well let me just say this I'm just getting a fact here uh we looked at about your twins large twins six pounds five pounds 12 ounces bigger than those fat um Chopper riding Twins and the Guinness Book of World Records you've had the fattest twins in the world finally we're gonna I'm gonna get published what do you guys know what you're gonna name the twins yes I do but first I know I promised I wouldn't but I've already written two children's books you can hit me when I was waiting do they have titles I I don't have titles yet but they're gonna be out on Amazon I just want to give people a heads up well that's great and what are the kids names Adam all right well the the boy is gonna be sunny like Santino wow and

1:53:30 that's his name Sunny Corolla okay now what do you make sure that it's not Sunny with a u because it'll be more like a surfer slash strippy yeah right although you could have a worse life than Surfer slash stripper yeah you're right terrify all right and what is the uh the girl's name the girl's name is Natalia love it that's pretty sunny and Natalia yeah cause it's a cute nickname like Matt or Natty yeah yeah did you watch the soprano Sunday night and stay up all night I was inspired yeah this sounds like an elderly couple from the neighborhood in Brooklyn is sunny and Natalia are coming over God willing yeah from your lips to God's ear Adam how is Lynette yeah you know she's uh she's not Viking stock you know I I don't want to insult their butt Viking stock they didn't take childbirth like a man if he didn't is she Vicodin meanwhile I was stoic you were did you cry you're in the delivery room no no I

1:54:47 didn't I didn't cry were you in the delivery room yes I was in the delivery I thought you said you weren't gonna be in the delivery room he said I didn't want to be did you cut the cord yeah I cut the cord too whoa yeah what do you use the power saw I didn't want to cut the cord but the guy handed me the snippers and just sort of pushed me at my kid and then I I almost dropped the slippers in the kid's eyes well that would have been unfortunate I forgot Ozzy was still on the phone by the way Ozzy are you excited yeah excited man okay I'll try to go because oh okay thank you well congratulations Adam well thanks Jimmy and uh might I say you're doing a wonderful job in the captain's chair thank you and I'm sure Lynette appreciates that you've been listening rather than being at her side throughout this video speaking of appreciating the radio you know when I checked in at like seven o'clock and I said there's this

1:55:52 old Betty giving me the stink eye yeah in the hallway yeah uh about 20 minutes later I got out of the bathroom and uh this old woman was standing in front of me and she said first off you're not supposed to use that bathroom that's for patients only and secondly the reason I was giving you this thing go home and get your [ __ ] shine box all right we got off to a wonderful start congratulations Adam give our love to Lynette and to Sonny and Natalia congratulations dude thanks Joe appreciate it we got to get Pat O'Brien on the phone make sure this is on The Insider immediately immediately also I'm going to be going to the hospital photographing the children and selling it to people magazine nice for for 8.2 million dollars you think his Babies are worth all right they got to be worse let's be honest they're not we're anywhere near what that Angelina baby is but we should be able to get at least a

1:56:47 million two of them there's two of them yeah you should be able to get some cash definitely thank you Joe Rogan you see Joe live at The Canyon Club in Agora Hills on Friday night at nine o'clock and we've got tickets for that as a matter of fact we do give away we're gonna play NBA player Tech stock to give those away four electric razors all right thank you very much for a shaving joke or something or are we really giving away elections we'll let the uh winner make the choice either razor tickets to Rogan's show okay all right that's a nice way to do it thank you Joe thanks for having me what do we have coming up in the news well obviously the biggest news sunny and Natalia Corolla yeah just born but also what actress would you most like to sexually assault a radio station ask that question to very ill effects we'll get to that and also how much would you pay to live with Kathy Griffin for the

1:57:36 weekend beautiful Adam Carolla show and it's Jeff Probst and you are listening to the greatest radio and television personality of all time it's the Adam Carolla show foreign you aren't it's Jimmy Kimmel his friend filling in because Adam big news had a couple of babies today Adam and Lynette welcomed sunny and Natalia Corolla into the world uh both very healthy Mom very healthy um six pounds for the boy five pounds for the girl good times congratulations to them filling in for Adam we still have a lot of stuff on the way today uh Pat O'Brien we got to talk to Pat about uh Pat if you're listening uh give us a call we got to talk to about getting this on the inside or making this a big I want to make this bigger than the um at least if not bigger than the brangelina baby I want to make it bigger than Siri Cruise sure listen he made a promise pob came on this show and made a promise to make

1:58:40 this the lead story there we go all right we'll see if he keeps that promise in moments in the meantime here's Teresa with the news speaking of the brand Jolina baby we were talking about it earlier people in hello magazines have paid you know each in the neighborhood of four million dollars for these pictures of little baby Shiloh nouvelle well the pictures ended up on the internet and people in hello just announced that they will be suing two websites that published the picture of the little baby we showed it on our show too I hope we don't get sued well he you might you might uh yeah Deep Pockets yeah yeah um they didn't say which internet sites they're suing but one of the sites that showed it was Paris Hilton who is our own gossip queen here on the show oh the Queen's being sued could be if I tell you something if People magazine sues me I will never appear in that magazine again candidly posing in my home ever in

1:59:39 there oh yeah I'm sure I have yeah um also this morning a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage was rejected not surprisingly by the Senate it needed 60 votes it only got 48. oh there you go uh congratulations gays there you go congratulations guys Bill the board up says thanks on behalf of all gays yeah hey no problem right back at you Bill do you think you'd ever get married I'm actually looking for something better than marriage I think the gays we outdo uh The Straits and a lot of things guardian and stuff like that yeah you're right and a lot of the straight men are having problems getting divorced and having a lot of problems so I think the gays need to polish up the marriage thing and put it up as something better than marriage well what you need to do is re you need to vote Republican because you don't you that's the last thing you need I mean it's bad enough being married to a woman I can only

2:00:28 imagine being married to a gay man exactly I wouldn't want to be married I would want the gay version which would be you could see them in the hospital you get to have be have them on your bank account right Health Care you know health care but just the important things but then everything else I'm not taking care of my man no way okay I already take care of them enough how long have you been with him Bill three years well you should get married no he doesn't want to get married I'm saying you should all right all right sorry Bill a woman eating at a Burger King Amsterdam found a live frog in her salad the company confirmed it this week and she does not plan to sue that's what's different between our country and because well because they understand everybody's stoned all the time like they may have all hallucinated that frog it you know it may not have been in the salad at all and yet I like that what

2:01:21 Burger King they said they did they did have a frog in their salad yeah they said look there was a frog in the salad and uh we don't know how it got there but there it was and apparently large compensation suits are virtually non-existent in the Netherlands oh really yeah it never happened yeah because here somebody would be five million dollars for the trauma of seeing a frog in your salad emotional damages they don't have that there so it it creates a lot more corporate honesty yeah uh Hong Kong radio show apologized yesterday for conducting an online poll asking listeners to vote on which actress they would most like to sexually assault yeah after widespread criticism the radio station took down the poll and the host apologized promising to be more careful about future content wow well who was the who finished number one they didn't say and I was very curious but who would you most likely well

2:02:12 um listen I don't want to get into a Hong Kong type situation but what I wonder is is the actress that that gets big is she is she flattered or horrified or maybe both I would be flattered you would be flattered what's the implication here this isn't lay down with and make sweet love to this is this is aggressive Austin translation but the phrase that was used was the actress you would most like to sexually assault yeah wow it does seem to promote violence against women and I'm glad they took it off their site yes thank goodness thank goodness uh Kathy Griffin if you watch her show my life on the d-list she's not she's the one I would pick you would most like to sexually assault Kathy Griffin I would like to make sweet love to Kathy Griffin well the two of you actually did have an interaction which she replayed on her show my life on the d-list here it is here's the thing when you're on the deal list you got to work

2:03:04 a little harder so I am auctioning off a weekend at my house and what kind of people do you think you're gonna attract for this okay Hustlers do you remember that I do remember it yeah I forgot how did that what happened with that here's the sad post script a first uh bid came in on eBay 28 grand it looked like it was going to be a big thing really and then the guy pulled out and then the next bidder pulled out really this happened 10 times 10 times until it went down four grand and then it sunk below and no word on how much the weekend sold wow if Kathy wants to call in Kathy's got to spend a weekend now for like 1500 bucks with some lunatic 25 nothing you lose that's very sad yes I I don't know exactly how low he may get demoted to the F list with something like that it's she's getting dangerously close yeah although I'm a huge fan of hers uh the biggest news of course of the day around

2:04:18 here is that Adam Carolla and his wife Lynette had their twins Sonny Corolla 6.5 6 pounds five ounces and little sister twin Natalia five pounds 12 ounces news agencies from all over the world have been contacting us already asking for pictures of the babies right I'm going to say this right now we would not ever violate Adam and Lynette's privacy for less than one million dollars U.S cash never what about Kenny how dare they for even asking no we did not accept those worthless Canadian dollars U.S one million dollars cash thank you very much and I'm gonna be taking my camera to the hospital on my way to work from the show where I will snap those very valuable photographs before any somebody else can get them be like a little Paparazzi right there in the hospital with Adam would you donate the money I will not donate the money to charity no I'm Theresa Strasser and that's the news it's time lord gave damashek's number

2:05:20 one sports do it Dave well the big news for uh fans at the bumps Eric gagne got his first save in almost a year and the Dodgers beat the metropolitans also some more winners for you Halos Athletics Mariners and the gigantic snakes and Padres losers but they'll probably get another chance sometime soon to get back NBA finals tomorrow Miami Heat at the Dallas Mavericks but even better news this just in I think you're gonna be excited about this Kimmel I can't wait LA Times is apparently reporting that they are going to have an advice column written by Mr Kobe Bryant no which is it on who he'd most like to sexually assault the anonymous source says the subjects he's going to cover anything from relationship to financial advice wow come on now let me see that it can't be real what is it going to be in the sports section this is in Jimmy's dream magazine can you Lakers talk.net has learned from an

2:06:30 anonymous source to Kobe Bryant every yeah the answer to everyone is buy her a ring a large ring wow this is going to be something wow I mean if I had my dreams it would be Moses Malone maybe Latrell Sprewell but I'll settle for Kobe Bryant the Kobe advice column has not been named yet though ask Kobe has been floated around or dear Kobe there's no way this is gonna happen there's no way anonymous source is this who's having butt sex what the hell is this oh my goodness gracious and apparently he's also been on Dog the Bounty Hunter and he's in one of the final eight episodes of Sopranos okay yeah he plays a basketball player who gets in debt to the Mob wow wow Kobe is back in a huge way look out ladies okay bend over all right now in honor of the NBA Finals wrapping up yeah first of all tomorrow we're gonna have Bill Walton and Mavericks owner Mark Cuban to talk some NBA Finals but first let's play a little

2:07:36 NBA player Tech stock all right we have Joel on the line and he's going to be playing for his choice he can either play for a pair tickets to see Joe Rogan Friday night at The Canyon Club in Agora Hills or a Phillips Norelco body groom BG 2020. the latest grooming Gadget really yeah it removes unwanted hair below the chin and even below the belt all right um now how do we do this we do the prize first or we do the contest first now we'll let him choose after the fact he must get let's say three out of the following five he must determine of the names I give if they are an NBA player or if they are a tech stock generation these things are great for shaving babies also I want to take one for Adam good very good Joel and this is NBA player or Tech stock Joel how's it going Moines congratulations Adam yes congratulations to Adam and Lynette and um it's time to play NBA player or Tech stock again Dave

2:08:39 this works uh you got to tell us whether this is uh the name of an NBA player or the name of a tech stock couldn't be couldn't be more straightforward Joel your first question is what do you say Marv Albert Tech stock or NBA player first the the player yeah let's let Joel answer before good idea Joel I'm gonna have to go with tech stock I'll say you Marv that's one he must get two of the next four Umpqua is indeed a tech stock yes all right here we go you're next question number two can tell can tell can tell can you spell it I will what's up you can tell q y n I can tell okay q no I'm sorry q y n t e l that's definitely Tech stock I'll say you Marv oh the iron is unkind all right one and one oh that's got a chance of the Boston Celtics really cute wow that's a huge Scrabble word yes all right number three here Avi avi avi can you spell that please a w v e e I'll go NBA player on that one what do

2:10:10 you say Marv he is on fire one more you need one more sir here we go here we go zlinks zealinks definitely Tech stock huh what do you say Marv from downtown there you go congratulations Joel you and your choice of Joe Rogan tickets at The Canyon Club in in uh in Agora Hills on Friday night or the botting groomer from uh Phillips Norelco what do you like definitely go see Joe all right very good congratulations so we'll get you the tickets hang on the line in fact I should make sure not to hang up on him there we go Marv Albert with NBA player or Tech stock thank you Mark and we bid that back to you Pat O'Brien is uh on the telephone we're gonna take a break we're gonna talk to him about the new birth of the Corolla twins who are here we'll give you all the details in case you haven't heard them 13 times already we'll be right back we thought today is the breakout Jennifer Aniston is blocked mayor walking naturally she's

2:11:32 walking naked yeah yeah good buddy but the face is not so much uh you know usually don't worry it's my job to tell you that you're listening to the Adam Carolla show that was easy see Adam girl here's what happened recently on The Insider with Pat O'Brien it's the brand new photos of Brad the dad that's during controversy all over the internet at least four different websites somehow got their hands on what is reported to be baby Shiloh's first picture worth millions of dollars ah there you go Jimmy Kimmel in for Adam Carolla Adam had twins this morning little sunny and Natalia Corolla very healthy the Mama's healthy Pat O'Brien is on the phone from The Insider good morning Pat oh I'm sorry I got a uh good morning Pat take two good morning Jimmy how are you my friend I'm good but I'm not so good with the phones it's good to hear from you Pat in this um great to be on this historic day huh well we wanted to give

2:12:37 you the scoop before anyone over any of the networks got it um but Corolla has had twins I'm sure this will be your lead story not just tonight but probably for the next several nights if not into the coming months and not only that I I went on the internet immediately yeah and Google the origin of the name Sunny yeah and it says um sometimes uh let's see a a nickname sometimes friendly sometimes condescending oh really yeah yeah Alice it's sunny yeah that's why Corolla day so I can condescend forever to the sun I like cat doing his research he's like Woodward and Bernstein over there what about Natalia is there any information news on Natalia other than it's the 909th favorite name out of five thousand names is that right yeah and where did Sonny fall was it even though at 772 wow out of 1219 ranking 49 302 out of 88 000 Plus for people of all ages in the 1990 U.S census and is this how you will lead

2:13:37 the broadcast tonight on The Insider with these facts you know I love Adam Carolla he's been in my house you've been in my house I love you yes I don't think we're leading with it uh can I ask you a question though can you can I ask The Insider can I make a suggestion to The Insider no we can't believe me there's something along the lines of Phineas and Hazel not So Much Anymore now it's all about sunny and Italia yeah you know how much these pictures went for it seriously when you talk about pictures yeah we were looking at the figures what do you think Julia Roberts babies went for Phineas and Hazel yeah 150 000. you're exactly right no no I had it written on the card here in front of me coincidentally there'll be a lot of research that goes on here what do you think Elvis and his coffin went for Elvis they actually Elvis or the picture of Elvis the picture of Elvis I don't know that's

2:14:29 a good question people didn't pay that much back then eighteen thousand wow wow that seems like quite a bargain for dead Elvis now you could get a John Cryer photo for 18 Grand but let's not lowball this right off the bad pad I mean Brad and Angelina got like seven million dollars or something for the picture of their baby Shiloh and that's not even twins that's a single baby those are being had all the time twins are special what do you think we can get for the Corolla twins for a picture of them by by weed you mean you and I are going in on this if I have to do that yes I will do that 50 50. yeah and if I put them on the End by the way if you're if you're twins you don't want to be on The Insider okay yeah no it's probably a bad thing because they're either anorexic or one of them has three arms yeah um I don't know I I think a million's fair I like your I like your early number I think I haven't agreed with the

2:15:19 personality of Adam's uh level I think you got to go seven figures the price has been set at one million dollars for the Corolla babies that will start the bidding at a million dollars by the way you know how you can make that a little better oh so the price has been set by The Insider there you go buy The Insider seven o'clock in New York City pob you set the price by making it your lead story yeah that's true you could affect this just like a stock if you go on with the lead story it suddenly becomes a bigger story than it would have been and we make a lot more money off of it well here's the other deal then we can take a a page out of Brad and Angelina and donate the money to charity and then little sunny in Italian I have come into the Earth or the world or however we want to say it already doing something for charity now you're talking crazy you talk this is crazy talk now Adam's really into supporting African orphans

2:16:08 charity got enough money um from Brad and Angelina it seems like we can pocket this ourselves or build another Park in North Hollywood how are you going to announce this on The Insider we have some suggestions um because you know Pat has these very catchy um concise little phrases and um so here's some ideas therapists start your engines Corolla has twins can we hear that how that would sound from Pat O'Brien right now on The Insider therapists start your engines Corolla has twins right out of the box like that how about this this one impotent no more Adam Carolla has twins keep saying that right yeah infinite no more Adam Carolla has twins oh I like that makes that one here's one more this is one more oh go ahead two babies one eyebrow Corolla has twins two babies one eyebrow girl I have twins I like that one I like that one a lot will you be announcing this on The Insider tonight Pat I've got to go into the

2:17:17 meeting I'll present it to the panel yeah I can't guarantee Britney Spears sneezed on a photographer today Major magazines in this country over the years the thing that makes you an Insider at the end of the show let everybody know about the twins you should do an interview with the twins going to the hospital there I'm sure Adam will let you in you can do the first interview with baby with the twins you got the wrong word I think it might be the first intervention yeah congratulations Adam if he's listening over there in the hospital yeah very happy for those guys yeah well listen we'll see how happy you are when we watch The Insider tonight well you can have it on your show of course I'm gonna have it on my show absolutely no question about it well maybe that's the way we do it we tape your show we put your show on my show it's also incestuous it's amazing you can do it all the time how are other

2:18:12 um celebrity babies reacting to this news of the Corolla twins have you heard from Little Surrey have we heard from um Sean Preston any of the any of you haven't heard from Surrey and by the way those pictures haven't been out yet have they uh no no let's see a little Surrey no that's that's the that's the next big picture the bar has been raised though is 20 million and then a million for Adam's unknown kids wow yes a million for Adam's kids before it starts by the way the million for those of you bidders out there all right very good again um if you like to bid uh call Pat at The Insider I'm sure you can get his office line off the internet thank you very much Pat O'Brien thanks a lot Jimmy Kimmel look forward to the report tonight The Insider check your local listings uh yes Jimmy Brusco what we have to take a break okay we're gonna take a break for what they call commercials now and uh we have anything

2:18:58 planned that we can anything enticing that I can tease the folks we're trying to sell the photos oh well yeah when we come back we should call like people magazines let's call that guy from Sugar Ray who's on extra let's see we're gonna give Pat a chance and then you know we're gonna call Mark McGrath if he doesn't come through for us all right we'll do that and we'll call let's yeah let's call US Weekly or something somebody's got to be interested in these kids I feel terrible for these kids already why they're I'm sure they're because no one cares I care I care too but we're not anyone that's you are Jimmy Kimmel filling in for Adam Carolla we'll be back after there's more coming up the Adam Carolla show hey this is Joe Rogan and you are listening to the Adam Carolla show thank God but Adam's not here this morning because he had a couple of babies he had a um and twins actually his wife Lynette had

2:20:02 twins they're doing well the kids names are Sonny and Natalia he cut the cords in spite of for weeks saying he was not gonna do it he was handed the the scissors and he says he almost dropped him in Sonny's eyes In fairness to Adam he and that's true by the way he um he claims that he did not want to go into the delivery room but he did go because we thought he said I will not go and then he the truth is he just didn't want to go into the delivery room and he went into the delivery room which I think was the right thing to do I don't think it was right that he was smoking in there but um you can't have everything not everyone's perfect not everyone's uh Ward Cleaver with the perfect life but this is exciting news for all of us here I personally never imagined Adam would be a father really I never imagined Adam um owning a car to be honest with you but um when we met you know he was impoverished and um doing a public

2:20:59 access show and I wasn't doing that much better myself and uh it's it's weird to imagine Adam holding a kid and I mean I still am skeptical I still I think he's going to be a good dad I think he will be a good dad too but it's it's a role that I never really imagined I mean he's not a guy that um thinks about others is that important as a father um I think it is yeah I think it's an important thing it's a quality that Adam doesn't have um by the way Adam's biggest fan is uh is here right now and master Billy Billy you um by the way they need to change that kind of webmaster because for a chubby teenage boy it's it's just it's like too it's too much it should not be webmaster it should be like um web um web gopher should be your title web gopher well that's why I'm on radio I'm not on TV you know I'm on radio you shouldn't even be on the radio let's be honest with you I mean let's all be

2:21:59 honest for a second now to respect the new children that came into this world how do you feel about this about two new little Corollas oh my God it's amazing you're not at all already do you feel any um jealousy that you know Adam will now be loving a child more perhaps than he loves you I don't really um because he's still going to be here every day and that's you keep telling yourself that yeah yeah but uh no no I'm still gonna love him the same happiest day of your life Billy happiest day of my life this is the happiest day of your life yes are you disappointed that he did not name the kids uh either of the children after you I I am a little disappointed yeah I'll be honest I'm a little disappointed also I would have at least like a jamisha for his uh daughter but the problem is is that Adam really couldn't name his son after me and this is what I'm telling myself because his because my name is James and

2:22:55 his father's name is James and he couldn't do you know he wouldn't want to do that because it would be almost in the mission of uh of something I don't know what but he can't do it because he wouldn't want to give his father that honor and um I don't blame him it's a touching story his father was not a good parent and I just hope he does better what do you think Jesus suppose his parents are there Jimmy oh at the hospital yeah well let's check in with Oswaldo and see can we get us Waldo on the phone I don't want to bother Adam again if we can avoid it but um Ozzy is there Ozzy's Adam's right hand man and uh he's been at his side I hope he washed his hands by the way making some flaps there's a lot of uh construction work at Adam's house and he's been at the hospital reporting and doing a great job of it all morning and uh we can get him on the phone I'm gonna guess that the parents are not there

2:23:45 I'm gonna guess that um uh Adam's sister maybe is there and I'm gonna guess that um maybe one of Lynette's parents or perhaps I have a I have a bad feeling that MO damashek is more excited about this wait a second Adam's parents are not at the hospital I that my guess is that they are not at the hospital my guess is not only they're not at the hospital um they probably don't know about this yet yeah do we know can we get Ozzy on the telephone well Lauren's on Adam's sister's on oh Adam sisters oh well there you go there we go hello Lauren good morning and congratulations thank you now are your parents there at the hospital Yes actually well my mother's here and I I just I recently got here so I'm not sure what the plan is with my father okay all right do you agree is do you think there's any truth too because I would have liked Adam Dev named his son after me but do you think it's possible

2:24:43 that he decided not to do that because it's also your father's name well well Jimmy there could be a connection there and uh maybe not quite uh Italian sounding enough how dare you when did Adam become so Italian all of a sudden by the way I'm not sure just recently yeah season three it was fun when Vito went gay Adam went Italian also have you seen the baby Sopranos I think have you had a look at the little ones I'm looking at them now the little girl is getting washed up and the little boy is yeah she's getting her hair combed

2:25:39 not like I expected are you talking about on the head or have you checked the whole body because I'm speaking of the head okay because they're yeah on the head maybe not but they have to be wolf babies now what about the eyebrows on the kids have you had a look at their eyebrows I haven't had a close look but um I think they've been spared as of as of yet I think they've been spared Gene we've all been praying I know that that happens a little later so hard to say for sure okay so you're saying that the eyebrows could join in the middle we're just gonna have to keep an eye on that as it develops right exactly and is Ozzy still at the hospital has he been helpful to you guys there uh yes he has he's standing right here with us can we speak to

2:26:37 all right thank you yes and here's now this is Oswaldo does movie reviews on the program um A Gifted Man in Adam's right hand man or left hand I'm not sure Oswaldo hey how are you do you have anything new to tell us oh you know I tell to you and the audience the owning or yesterday the angel born today okay the only thing I understood was the word yesterday I think it was sweet if we could understand a woman born yesterday the angel born right what the omen was born yesterday was six six oh six so the omen was born yesterday and the angel was born today oh did you go see the omen Aussie yeah okay will you come in tomorrow and review that for us yeah I I I I I I talked to over the this movie man but you know the important today is okay I didn't really I got Corolla there too but I didn't really get much of that so you're saying that um on the heels of Satan being born in theaters everywhere

2:27:41 now these two angel babies uh have made up for it yep hey Ozzy you uh you know you struggle to say Adam's name he doesn't like how you say his name can you say his children's names better than you could say his own name

2:28:01 so he did name the baby Santino I thought he said Sunny now yeah he said Sunny short for Santina what are their middle names do you know is uh Adam's sister there I don't think Adam's sister knew the first names of the children she's kept telling the boy and the girl good point yeah all right well we'll find that out tomorrow we'll leave some mystery apparently uh we're not having any luck getting in touch with the tabloids who are uh busy covering um Paris Hilton has uh chlamydia and it's a big story as soon as we say we have corolla's baby pictures they haven't been not interested wait aren't they supposed to chase us you would think so I don't think we're negotiating right on this yeah what's fair is fair yeah we get we're giving pob first dibs if he doesn't do it then he's gonna be the one who looks like a jerk Ozzie we need you to take pictures of the babies covertly okay so that we can sell them to

2:28:58 magazines okay okay have fun and have fun what yes 350. oh lit with you 50 half and a half an hour well we'll talk about it's going to be more like a quarter and a uh three quarters of enough because we gotta cut Pat O'Brien and it's a big it's a whole complicated thing yeah all right Ozzy we'll give everyone there a love okay okay let me hear you let me hear you give everyone our love okay love you and good luck but are you in the room with Lynette no no I am in the front day okay you know I see the babies Oh wait can I ask you really quick do the babies look like Adam or Lynette oh I I I I know I appreciate too much you say right now you know it's like a very bad Angle now oh really yeah no I don't know anything we really need him in here to translate

2:30:01 one second the funny thing is even people speak Spanish have no idea what he's saying hi Laura hi who's this this is Chris mom oh hey uh it's Jimmy how are you Grandma I'm okay congratulations Grandma thank you I'm just thrilled well we're thrilled too beautiful they are do you know their middle names boy I after all that talk uh I would imagine they've got them but I don't know them okay because you didn't give Adam a middle name right that's right and it was hard enough to come up with a first name yeah I know it takes a lot of effort well congratulations and congratulations to the whole Corolla family this is it thank you blessed day and uh we're all very happy for you yes we we're all thrilled too and they're they're normal they're healthy well we don't know about the first part but they are healthy there's no way they're normal but thank God they're healthy thank you very much uh congratulations congratulations

2:30:59 nah just throw the phone on the floor um I want to thank Our Guest today Joe Rogan was here you can see him Friday night at The Canyon Club in Agoura Hills Jeff Richards you can see the premiere of where are my dog's at that's a new anime that's a funny show Saturday on mtv2 at 12 30 p.m that's the prime slot or go to his website tasty jeff.com uh coming up tomorrow Sarah Silverman will be here the Frat guy Mark Cuban owner of the Mavericks uh Bill Walton and Brian posein on behalf of Adam and little Santino and little Natalya and Lynette I want to thank you all for listening and say Mahalo everybody see you tomorrow foreign

Questions about this episode

Who speaks in "TACS #109 (feat. Jimmy Kimmel, Joe Rogan and Pat O'Brien)"?

Adam Carolla (Guest), Jimmy Kimmel (Guest), Joe Rogan (Host), Pat O'Brien (Guest), Dave Dameshek (Guest), Bald Brian (Guest), Teresa Strasser (Guest), Christian (Guest).

What is "TACS #109 (feat. Jimmy Kimmel, Joe Rogan and Pat O'Brien)" about?

The content features a humorous and informal discussion led by Jimmy Kimmel as he fills in for Adam Carolla, who is at the hospital for the birth of his twins. The hosts engage in lighthearted banter about the challenges of childbirth, privacy concerns during delivery, and the dynamics of their showbiz lifestyle, showcasing camaraderie and comedic storytelling.

What is mentioned in this The Adam Carolla Show episode?

13 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Adam Carolla, Joe Rogan, Lynette Carolla, Natalia Corolla, Sunny Corolla, Angelina Jolie. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "TACS #109 (feat. Jimmy Kimmel, Joe Rogan and Pat O'Brien)"?

The episode runs 2 h 32 min; the transcript is about 27,246 words in 154 timestamped sections.

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