The Bill Simmons Podcast - Guess the Lines Week 5 With Cousin Sal and Joe House (Ep. 267)

What is discussed, and when

1. 0:00 – 10:00: Joe House, Bill Simmons, NFL, Fantasy Football
2. 10:00 – 20:00: Rookie of the Year, Tiger Woods, Bill Simmons, Fantasy Football
3. 20:00 – 30:00: Carson Wentz, New England Patriots, Cincinnati Bengals, Cleveland Browns
4. 30:00 – 40:00: Super Bowl, Dallas Cowboys, Green Bay Packers, Mike Lombardi
5. 40:00 – 50:00: New York Giants, Tennessee Titans, Bill Simmons, Buffalo Bills
6. 50:00 – 1:00:00: Gillette, Minnesota Vikings, Fantasy Football, New England Patriots
7. 1:00:00 – 1:07:13: Rookie of the Year, Bluehost, Bill Simmons, Cousin Sal

Notable quotes from "The Bill Simmons Podcast - Guess the Lines Week 5 With Cousin Sal and Joe House (Ep. 267)"

• Wrote about Trump in the NFL and Trump hijacking the NFL for seven straight days all right coming up we're going to talk about week five NFL but first one to send thoughts and…

  about NFL · at 1:11

• I love the Texans I love the Bucs I loved Cardinal of the Niners I'm a Bronco this is Bill Simmons this is something interesting you did we guessed the lines last week I said Cardinals home for 49ers you said three so that guy say Arizona.

  about Bill Simmons · at 4:17

• Told myself I don't think you can get portal but Seahawks they just turned it on in the second half I like this new running back this is gonna be the big waiver pickup right…

  about Seattle Seahawks · at 7:11

• That so some other stuff that happened we'll talk about the Pats in a second deshaun Watson who knows - Lombardi like the six weeks leading up to the draft it was like deshaun…

  about Deshaun Watson · at 9:48

• To grab the Seahawks spot yeah right unless you think like the Packers are gonna fold I think the lines are legit I was impressed by them in that Falcons game I'm not ready to count out the NFC East I'm only tonight hey I want to see my.

  about Green Bay Packers · at 18:49

• GRE they had one in 2015 and one in 2014 very strange but the defense is bad but what did Carolina have like 21 going into the fourth quarter like it wasn't you know you expect…

  about New England Patriots · at 31:59

• Wasn't that like seven three last year so you hooked I just can't think this is it the Rams everybody's gonna blow smoke up their asses all week Shaun McVeigh oh my god he's so…

  about Los Angeles Rams · at 36:22

• I've been out of the dome team I like Stafford I thought the Lions will get win I think the Panthers thanks to the New England Patriots putrid defense threw everyone off the…

  about Carolina Panthers · at 50:43

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

• Bill Simmons — Person · Host · 5 mentions · first at 0:00
  Primary speaker and host of the episode; sets the agenda (Week 5 NFL, lines, reactions) and introduces guests and other Ringer shows.
• Joe House — Person · Co-host / Guest (segment lead-in) · 4 mentions · first at 0:58
  Appears as an on-episode guest for the first portion; banters on NFL, betting, and plugs his food/golf podcasts and filming schedule.
  The two fellas we have on the podcast today cousin Sal against all odds special guest Joe house of carbs and Shack house he's got two pots so anyway ringer podcast network and…
• Cousin Sal — Person · Co-host / Guest (later segment) · 3 mentions · first at 0:56
  Introduced as a main on-episode participant for the gambling-focused “Guess the Lines” format and cross-promotes Against All Odds.
  Obviously subscribe to the podcast so the two fellas we have on the podcast today cousin Sal against all odds special guest Joe house of carbs and Shack house he's got two pots…
• Deshaun Watson — Person · Referenced athlete (discussion focal point) · 3 mentions · first at 9:52
  Central on-field topic: Simmons and guests discuss Watson’s poise, rookie-of-the-year odds, and how Lombardi had strongly endorsed him pre-draft.
• Mike Lombardi — Person · Referenced expert / analyst · 2 mentions · first at 0:34
  Cited as an authority via his takes on GM Street and pre-draft evaluation of Watson; also referenced for opinions on Patriots defense and Doug Pederson.
  They preview the weekend on Fridays Kevin Clarke Robert Bates from the ringer and then GM street Mike Lombardi and Tate Frazier the producer of this podcast they're putting…
• Carson Wentz — Person · Referenced athlete (Captain of the Week) · 5 mentions · first at 19:18
  Used as an example of leadership/intangibles; Simmons names him “Captain of the Week” and discusses Eagles’ outlook and Lombardi’s criticism of Doug Pederson.
  You actually can pressure the passer and do some stuff yes it's an incredible so Carson Wentz I've seen a couple NFL Films you know like him on the sidelines at him with the 61…
• Christian McCaffrey — Person · Referenced player · 1 mention · first at 11:32
  Discussed in the context of his performance and fantasy football implications.
  Lewis it seems like I don't even know when Tate have you give it up already okay everybody blowing him before the season because it seemed like they were revolving their whole…
• Joe Frazier — Person · Producer / On-mic contributor · 2 mentions · first at 0:37
  Identified as the producer and appears briefly in banter (Carolina win, Bears/Trubisky aside), and is mentioned as part of GM Street uploads.
  Nights you can get the light at that instant reactions they were Tate was all giddy last night because Carolina won so you can subscribe to that on the ringer NFL show and…
• Tiger Woods — Person · Referenced athlete · 2 mentions · first at 17:04
  Mentioned in the context of golf and personal anecdotes.
  Before who cares it's giant go ahead stuff right now talk bad about Tigers penis in front of houses this should be partners the shack house podcast every week each Tigers penis should get an email from each sent an.
• Adrian Peterson — Person · Referenced athlete (example/critique) · 4 mentions · first at 7:57
  Used as a negative example in Saints discussion—predictable run tendency and perceived poor fit—supporting broader commentary on team usage and roster decisions.
  Mckissick that's it mckissick yes that's right JD mckissick yeah he was familiar yeah meanwhile the Saints have Adrian Peterson when it comes in the game and you just know…
• Kevin Clarke — Person · Referenced contributor · 1 mention · first at 0:27
  Mentioned as a co-host of The Ringer NFL Show (with Robert Mays), framing the broader Ringer NFL content ecosystem around the episode.
  Friday they preview the weekend on Fridays Kevin Clarke Robert Bates from the ringer and then GM street Mike Lombardi and Tate Frazier the producer of this podcast they're putting them up Sunday nights you can get the light at that.
• Robert Mays — Person · Referenced contributor · 1 mention · first at 0:27
  Mentioned alongside Kevin Clarke as part of The Ringer NFL Show schedule; serves as cross-promotion context for Ringer programming.
  Friday they preview the weekend on Fridays Kevin Clarke Robert Bates from the ringer and then GM street Mike Lombardi and Tate Frazier the producer of this podcast they're putting them up Sunday nights you can get the light at that.

Companies & orgs

• New England Patriots — Company · Referenced team · 3 mentions · first at 19:10
  Discussed in the context of their performance and challenges in the current season.
• Los Angeles Rams — Company · Referenced team · 1 mention · first at 5:16
  Discussed in the context of their performance and upcoming games.
• Seattle Seahawks — Company · Referenced team · 2 mentions · first at 36:15
  Discussed in the context of their performance and upcoming games.
• Green Bay Packers — Company · Referenced team · 1 mention · first at 37:44
  Discussed in the context of their performance and upcoming games.
• Dallas Cowboys — Company · Referenced team · 1 mention · first at 39:43
  Discussed in the context of their performance and upcoming games.
  Ramps I thought that like Cowboys yeah right well then Charlie wasn't like three and a half but the Rams I didn't watch that game because I was driving all over Southern California for soccer it looked like the Rams just moved the.
• Carolina Panthers — Company · Referenced team · 1 mention · first at 50:20
  Discussed in the context of their performance and upcoming games.
• Atlanta Falcons — Company · Referenced team · 4 mentions
  Discussed in the context of their performance and upcoming games.
  To grab the Seahawks spot yeah right unless you think like the Packers are gonna fold I think the lines are legit I was impressed by them in that Falcons game I'm not ready to count out the NFC East I'm only tonight hey I want to see my.
• Miami Dolphins — Company · Referenced team · 4 mentions
  Discussed in the context of their performance and upcoming games.
  Down right why is he in the team he doesn't be on that team yeah there are teams that can use him I was so excited I woke up yesterday I just we've gone out to Cassell's the…
• Pittsburgh Steelers — Company · Referenced team · 4 mentions
  Discussed in the context of their performance and upcoming games.
  Name is Bill Turner that's gonna be a problem in your quarterback stool last game for the barely watchable Pittsburgh at home against Jacksonville who bored old cousins on this…
• Washington Redskins — Company · Referenced team · 4 mentions
  Discussed in the context of their performance and upcoming games.
  Stink maybe a number two receiver being traded like a number one receiver and the dead skins shut them down shut them the F down quick great talk about blue house the top…
• Bluehost — Company · Sponsor · 3 mentions · first at 15:00
  Mentioned as a sponsor of the podcast, promoting their website hosting services.
  On the ringer on Fridays something NFL related thanks to Bluehost whether your blogger small business owner blue houses everything you need to build hosts and manage the…
• Gillette — Company · Sponsor · 3 mentions · first at 53:19
  Mentioned as a sponsor of the podcast, promoting their razor blades.
  We've completely lost our home field advantage so I blame myself I don't think it's Gillette spot but the tip of a Gillette razor blade measured on an atomic scale their blade…
• Detroit Lions — Company · Referenced team · 2 mentions · first at 3:46
  Discussed in the context of their performance and upcoming games.
  Falcons beat him all right yeah that was a good point I would be so Chiefs Rams Lions Broncos cuz the Lions should be undefeated the Lyle it was stupid I guess to throw over…
• New Orleans Saints — Company · Referenced team · 2 mentions · first at 6:27
  Discussed in the context of their performance and upcoming games.
  Mckissick that's it mckissick yes that's right JD mckissick yeah he was familiar yeah meanwhile the Saints have Adrian Peterson when it comes in the game and you just know…
• Tampa Bay Buccaneers — Company · Referenced team · 2 mentions · first at 23:01
  Discussed in the context of their performance and upcoming games.
  Down the line it's like I don't know about Jameis no I know like what why I really I needed Tampa to cover the minus three and I was gonna go five and on the super contest and…
• Cleveland Browns — Company · Referenced team · 2 mentions · first at 26:08
  Discussed in the context of their performance and upcoming games.
  Through the poop fact okay I had to this week I had at least two yeah the New York Jets are at the Cleveland Browns and the Indianapolis Colts are hosting the San Francisco…
• Tennessee Titans — Company · Referenced team · 2 mentions · first at 43:59
  Discussed in the context of their performance and upcoming games.
  Minnesota who has now just been ravaged just like Bradford my who knows when he comes back they lose down home for the Saints at Arizona home for Philly at Seattle at Tennessee…
• New York Giants — Company · Referenced team · 2 mentions · first at 45:49
  Discussed in the context of their performance and upcoming games.
  They'd be on the road yeah they've had some fans everything it's same experience anyway the Giants have covered the last two weeks they covered the Eagles game they're down 14…
• Minnesota Vikings — Company · Referenced team · 2 mentions · first at 55:55
  Discussed in the context of their performance and upcoming games.
  Me this thing like nine six or something Jesus yeah who is the Vikings starting running back this week what is it mechanic what did what are they doing like it's both it's…
• SeatGeek — Company · Sponsor · 1 mention · first at 0:04
  Mentioned as a sponsor of the podcast, promoting their ticket buying and selling services.
• Cincinnati Bengals — Company · Referenced team · 1 mention · first at 27:36
  Discussed in the context of their performance and upcoming games.
  Barely watchable so we'll just go through this let's do add to road favorites first cincinnati hosting the Bills of buffalo I had the bills - - I might be wrong I had the same…
• Indianapolis Colts — Company · Referenced team · 1 mention · first at 42:11
  Discussed in the context of their performance and upcoming games.
  Through the poop fact okay I had to this week I had at least two yeah the New York Jets are at the Cleveland Browns and the Indianapolis Colts are hosting the San Francisco…
• San Francisco 49ers — Company · Referenced team · 1 mention · first at 42:13
  Discussed in the context of their performance and upcoming games.
  Through the poop fact okay I had to this week I had at least two yeah the New York Jets are at the Cleveland Browns and the Indianapolis Colts are hosting the San Francisco…
• Buffalo Bills — Company · Referenced team · 1 mention · first at 43:33
  Discussed in the context of their performance and upcoming games.
  Most wrong about all year I think but kind of lucky to be where they are I think I really do the bills are they beat the Jets bills they come [ __ ] one week one couple calls…
• Los Angeles Chargers — Company · Referenced team · 1 mention · first at 46:15
  Discussed in the context of their performance and upcoming games.
  You want an audible captain the captain my captain kind of picking up on the cousins theme here Dean Spanos for the incredible job of poop alchemy I mean it's unbelievable that…
• Red Cross — Company · Referenced organization · 1 mention · first at 2:31
  Mentioned in the context of donations and support for the Las Vegas tragedy.
  Monday night game and donating it to the Red Cross or something with of course they need a lot of blood over there yeah but yeah seems a little weird house yes you're gonna…
• New York Jets — Company · Referenced team · 1 mention · first at 42:09
  Mentioned in passing in the context of sports discussions.
  Through the poop fact okay I had to this week I had at least two yeah the New York Jets are at the Cleveland Browns and the Indianapolis Colts are hosting the San Francisco…

Concepts & topics

• NFL — Concept · Core topic · 2 mentions · first at 0:13
  Central theme of the episode, discussing various aspects of the NFL including teams, players, and events.
• Fantasy Football — Concept · Core topic · 4 mentions · first at 5:04
  Discussed in the context of managing teams and player performances.
  It looked like the Rams just moved the ball and did stuff yeah champs have a good offense like I picked up Jared Goff in our fantasy league last week -he was available I think…
• Rookie of the Year — Concept · Referenced award · 5 mentions · first at 11:20
  Discussed in the context of potential candidates and performances.
  Data for a minute physically I'll say about Watson yeah Rookie of the Year unfortunately doubt when cooked out of the mix now I think he was favored yes by the way I'm gonna have services for my fantasy team yeah at the end of this.
• Super Bowl — Concept · Referenced event · 3 mentions · first at 34:01
  Mentioned in the context of past and potential future games.
  Have to do cuz I don't know if they can solve the deal I think they do have to do that the other option would be to fire the defensive coordinator who belcheck has been…
• NFL Draft — Concept · Referenced event · 4 mentions
  Mentioned in the context of player selections and team strategies.
  That so some other stuff that happened we'll talk about the Pats in a second deshaun Watson who knows - Lombardi like the six weeks leading up to the draft it was like deshaun…
• MLB — Concept · Referenced organization · 4 mentions
  Mentioned in passing in the context of sports discussions.
• NCAA — Concept · Referenced organization · 4 mentions
  Mentioned in passing in the context of sports discussions.
• World Series — Concept · Referenced event · 4 mentions
  Mentioned in passing in the context of sports discussions.

Places & events

• Las Vegas — Place · Setting · 1 mention · first at 1:21
  Mentioned in the context of the tragic event that occurred there.
  Football today but we're gonna plow through it but man that was rough last night it was happening on late Pacific Coast time last night and it was watching the CNN and all…
• Kansas City, Kansas — Place · Setting · 5 mentions · first at 2:56
  Mentioned in the context of the Kansas City Chiefs football team.
  Proven City good there's no contenders I'm sticking with nobodies good for now I think if the Chiefs wax the skins today then maybe they're the dominant Green Bay and ahead of…

Full transcript with timestamps

0:00 today's episode of the bill simmons podcast on the ringer podcast network is brought to you by SeatGeek our presenting sponsor buy and sell tickets and two taps on your phone everything fully guaranteed football fans $20 off your first seeking purchase on NFL tickets use promo code BS NFL download the CQ caprica right to CQ calm we're also brought to you by the ringer NFL show that is heating up if you love football Clarke and Mays twice a week Tuesday and Friday they preview the weekend on Fridays Kevin Clarke Robert Bates from the ringer and then GM street Mike Lombardi and Tate Frazier the producer of this podcast they're putting them up Sunday nights you can get the light at that instant reactions they were they were Tate was all giddy last night because Carolina won so you can subscribe to that on the ringer NFL show and obviously subscribe to the podcast so the two fellas we have on the podcast

0:56 today cousin Sal against all odds special guest Joe house house of carbs and Shack house he's got two pots so anyway ringer podcast network and finally the ringer calm that's where my Friday calm is up every week last week I wrote about Trump in the NFL and Trump hijacking the NFL for seven straight days all right coming up we're going to talk about week five NFL but first one to send thoughts and prayers to everybody in Las Vegas who was affected by last night's just unspeakable tragedy you know it's it's it's weird to talk about something as insignificant as football today but we're gonna plow through it but but man that was that was rough last night it was happening on late Pacific Coast time last night and it was watching the CNN and all these stations for two hours to three hours last night as things keep getting worse and worse than the numbers kept climbing was just awful so we're thinking about

1:59 everybody there today we're going to talk about football today try to take your mind off at 4:00 at our Joe house Sal coming up here we go alright sassier houses here I thought this would be more jovial morning for us but we'll pull through yeah I'm taking everything I was gonna lose on the Monday night game and donating it to the Red Cross or something with of course they need a lot of blood over there yeah but yeah seems a little weird house yes you're gonna you're gonna have the first 25 minutes with us and then we're gonna guess the lines of that you cuz you have to go film house carbs I do have a house of carbs coming up your team plays tonight the watched professional football team they're getting seven points yeah it's Kansas City mm-hmm this feels like a weave now like flip to the good teams are the guys doing the Power Poll and I are the top five teams right now would you say Chiefs Packers Rams

3:09 Lions Broncos is top five you didn't put your pagers there give it up 128 points in four games I have a whole different thing about how this is the least impressive three-in-one crop that I've seen in a while like who's who's a proven City good there's no contenders I'm sticking with nobodies good for now I think if the Chiefs wax the skins today then maybe they're the dominant Green Bay and ahead of the Falcons because they played each other and a Falcons beat him all right yeah that was a good point I would be so Chiefs Rams Lions Broncos cuz the Lions should be undefeated the Lyle it was stupid I guess to throw over the middle of Golden Tate like if it doesn't catch you you lose the game but I mean they were like six inches away from being on right right that was lost a week ago maybe there is no top tier tier I don't think so I think the Chiefs could pull away a little bit but I still think you know if

4:07 they somehow would have to go to Foxborough in January that's that's a loss but I love my sleep yesterday and somehow lost money anyway yeah I love the Rams I love the Texans I love the Bucs I loved Cardinal of the Niners I'm a Bronco this is Bill Simmons this is something interesting you did we guessed the lines last week I said Cardinals home for 49ers you said three so that guy say Arizona by three I said no it's seven he's like that's ridiculous I'm betting the bet in the Niners and it worked and I did something real how often does that work will you say something like on a Monday like oh no way that that line is way off I said those off and setting for the ramps I thought that like Cowboys yeah right well then Charlie wasn't like three and a half hmm but the Rams I didn't watch that game because I was driving all over Southern California for soccer hmm it looked like the Rams just moved the

5:02 ball and did stuff yeah champs have a good offense like I picked up Jared Goff in our fantasy league last week mm-hmm he was available I think they have the most points in the night it's gonna look at so 142 points and four yeah could top that today with like 20 points but right yeah the Rams are putting up 30 a game yeah well house isn't a believer I it's so early I mean you know we've we we can't reach I don't want to fall right into cliche talk but only four games in there's just some eyebrow razor says is all I mean I mean you know the Rams have a proven history of underperforming in a colossal I mean in a wonderful array of different you know manners so before the week one column that I wrote or during the week one column I wrote I said that they had a chance to be the shitty ten and six team that made the playoffs right I don't know if they're shitty this literally might be like is he one

5:58 of the four best running backs in the league this year how bad everyone seemed that had Todd Gurley I'm one of their seven fantasy sounds last few years and now there's so much buzz so their next fight their next five games they're going Seattle at home that's the big one that's a big one yeah at Jacksonville home for Arizona bye week at the Giants home for Houston at Minnesota who has now just been ravaged just like Bradford my who knows when he comes back they lose down home for the Saints at Arizona home for Philly at Seattle at Tennessee home for San Francisco like that kind of feels like 12 and 4 if they can stay healthy if you have this if you like them to beat Seattle this week you're gonna have a tough time convincing yourself that Seattle is going to come back and win the division right I know it is really but you two game lead would be great dinner last night I did not watch that game I don't

6:50 think I missed that much cold Seahawks but I know because you watch all football games did is there anything you learn for the Seahawks was my best bet my one of two best bets had the Jaguars who were on the two yard line down three about to go up four but now before I got bored old but uh but uh portable I don't know it's gotta be he got bored or you got portals yeah yeah I I guess I bore told myself I don't think you can get portal but Seahawks uh they just turned it on in the second half I like this new running back this is gonna be the big waiver pickup right which one McNichol what is it whose running backs to the Seahawks are infinite number it just seems like the running backs supply is endless it's true like the Giants yesterday I had this dude was his name Galman I don't know yeah right shoes wasn't good yeah scowling juniors in yeah he was just the entire tate was the third and fourth round just all running

7:44 backs sorry I'm trying to find this guy's name because I laugh every time they said it I like JD JD mckissick that's it mckissick yes that's right JD mckissick yeah he was familiar yeah meanwhile the Saints have Adrian Peterson when it comes in the game and you just know they're gonna run the bottom he runs in the line and falls down right why is he in the team he doesn't be on that team yeah there are teams that can use him I was so excited I woke up yesterday I just we've gone out to Cassell's the night before that pat him out I felt I just woke up my stomach hurt and it's like 6:20 the morning it's pitch black and I'm like what am I gonna do I'll just go through emails I'm like Oh seats dolphins I was so excited there was football on sit down and make coffee sit down and watch it and it's just awful there's like zero zero look like you got caught in power too oh he's so bad yeah Matt Moore

8:37 should start for them this week you would think right yeah colors the body language is bad the throws are bad what's good about I wonder what Adam GaSe was trying to prove they're like I am just like I'm the Cutler whisperer so even though I'm at more may be fine and he was decent and got us the little to the playoffs and you know but we lost a tough game but but what is what does his deal it seemed like a lot of downside bringing Cutler in yeah especially like they were only six and nine with him that year when he was the color whisperer but I watched that team I have Jarvis Lindsey on my fantasy team it seems like he's open Devante Parker scary though James is good kid I can't get him off have you get shut out by the Saints Parker and Landry supposed to be two of the top 20 fastest guys in the league and Cutler refuses to throw downfield it's all checked down you don't want to say a football team is like didn't try because

9:28 it's ridiculous they have now badly injured guys can get for not trying but third and 20 like nine minutes left they ran the ball yeah 13 ahead and scored yet third would not like mister throw deep balls down the field I don't you somebody jump up and try to get him guys if you're gonna get shut out I don't get that so some other stuff that happened we'll talk about the Pats in a second deshaun Watson who knows - Lombardi Lombardi like the six weeks leading up to the draft it was like deshaun Watson I would take him that guy's a culture changer this guy can't miss I don't know what these teams are doing that I'm a quarterback like he was like he went all in right and then a bunch of teams passed and including the Jets and Bengals and the Browns traded their pick that ended up me de John Watson he was against the Pats always hard to say with this how bad this pads defenses but the thing that struck me in that game was

10:22 how calm he was and how nervous I was cuz him then it transferred over this Tennessee game and now here the houston guys talking about him like oh my god we have a quarterback this is the shot DeAndre Hopkins he's gotta feel like he won the lottery it's the very best possible situation for DeSean right yeah he goes to a team it's it's almost like if he gone to Houston or Denver those are the two passes where they have incredible defenses with the critical missing link they have is at the quarterback position well if you've got a like Cincinnati name is on Cincinnati or the Houston is that gate they not only did they really need him not only was he the missing piece but he goes to this fan base that's never had a quarterback right hit shop shop for a minute he had a minute there was a shop they won they went 12 and for once he knew what you're again what job he was getting that first playoff

11:14 game against the Bengals and there's no data for a minute physically I'll say about Watson yeah Rookie of the Year unfortunately doubt when cooked out of the mix now I think he was favored yes by the way I'm gonna have services for my fantasy team yeah at the end of this podcast is officially over so I also spent $20 on Christian McCaffrey who know he's basically Dion Lewis it seems like I don't even know when Tate have you give it up already okay everybody blowing him before the season because it seemed like they were revolving their whole offense around it right but they did and then they stopped right Tate like they did last week and now he was a decoy this week and they won so he's gonna make his hostile mouth I'm sorry just say anything scream your lungs out but what would you who would you go rookie there right now hunt - one can be cream hunt what about Watson why not why not Watson

12:05 plus 110 well if cream hadn't rushes for 3,000 yards and 30 touchdowns I'm gonna vote for him I found pace I didn't know that you could still get watched and at a plus number that's what I might I have some very important messaging to do before the year we talked about him for rookie yeah right the idea you know I always take a quarterback over a running back for a rookie of the year don't forget it was the crazy stats and Prescott won last year maybe it is worth taking Watson Dayton know Mariota already got hurt over the furqan these news doesn't I've never heard of Lombardi talked about a GM Street last night and it got me thinking like I've never heard of a quarterback like pulling a hammy mm-hmm what does that ever happen in the history of football I don't want to revel in it because he saw clearly such a good guy is such an important part to that team I don't want to be a dick about it I used to be a

13:03 center be healthy yeah okay you got a play well it looks like Houston has that division by the balls now I like that that was an original pic right yeah he's didn't feel good about that the problem is what was our big bet with House Seattle Green Bay Pittsburgh and yeah wasn't it nice yeah that's right see out of Pittsburgh in the paths yeah which one is the most ever said to win the division incredibly G I think the Rams could do that division yeah we're gonna have to do a hedge yeah I went even further I put the Chiefs on one I put the Texans on - I fought away the Texans and they take three way to four-way Sochi looks like the Raiders my instincts were correct you were right another was good at the Raiders I was listen I was wrong on plenty of things but it looks like the Raiders were the everyone's blowing smoke and jerking them off and they're a legit contender and meanwhile they hadn't done anything and they're three

14:02 and three against AFC West last year I still don't understand and you listened to GM Street and Lombardi talks about the blue chippers on the offensive line for the Raiders I see with your team here yeah no game breakers how is it possible Cooper and crab - I think they might stink maybe a number two receiver being traded like a number one receiver and the dead skins shut them down shut them the F down quick great talk about blue house the top Raider website provider powering over 2 million websites for bloggers or small business owners blue house does everything you need to build hosts and manage the person or a small business website you've always wanted design your website your way without being limited by templates simple enough for beginners powerful enough for even the most advanced users so maybe you could put your 500 picks up this year 500 500 500 every week oh yeah yeah this week 100 fully customizable templates

14:57 third-party app support 99 percent uptime guarantee maximum security not to mention Bluehost 24/7 tech support online resources expert services no wonder it's been the top recommended WordPress host on wordpress.org since 2005 Bluehost makes hosting websites stress free get back to what matters most gambling now our listeners say 50% when you sign up at Bluehost comm slash Bill Simmons that is Bluehost comm slash bill simmons speaking a game in the on your podcast against the lodge the trifecta they did a great job they swept it right no damn with the Cowboys cost on a money line for that like kid but you had a chance to sweep out a chant and that's the one I bought I do a thing called sharp tank where I between the three they pit I mean their best bet and two weeks in a row I've picked the only one that's lost but but Harry had Washington state was like plus 180 over USC big win and brother Bryan has a 17 college parlay

15:52 that one I had a reach out to house I couldn't even find the scores for this like the top American who's so little interested it is you know there was barely any like results afterwards like oh they basically shut the hole they won the thing Saturday yeah I had made a couple of small plays on top American there's some decent there's no Aaron Kefka when did the Presidents Cup start 1994 feels like this contrived yeah network executives started it like what if we have the arbors well it wasn't quite that cynical there was this idea that getting the non-european international players some exposure would be good for for all of the tours and so that's what it's the Australians it's the South Africans and Gary players had a big big part in it there's just can't they just don't take enough guys together that are worthless [ __ ] I feel bad I feel like we're robbing it and we do a cartwheel these

16:49 guys who are expressionless for months and months and months and they're just like playing making snow angels in the sand traps like after we win Kistner and and Mickelson did the three amigos chest bump yeah Tiger Woods has launched a new Cup is over lay no golf course next year you didn't hear about this Tiger Woods tripod Cup oh no it's a trophy it's shaped like his tripod Sofo picture that was a discussion at dinner last night we sketched at dinner last night was whether Tiger released that photo of himself and photoshopped it Oh interesting well it's they were internet rumors my photoshopping I don't think that was spam thing hey my only suspicion anytime there's a cell phone pic like that is whether there was a little cell fluffing before who cares it's giant go ahead stuff right now talk bad about Tigers penis in front of houses this should be partners the shack house podcast every week each Tigers penis

17:55 should get an email from each sent an email to Tigers penis hey Tigers penis I'm thinking about that buy a new car huh the other time I'll just go big there's only part of him that works Davin kick out for the year that's st. Bradford is Sam Bradford I like that team and now defense is so good it's gonna keep them in all these games yeah yeah you lose your quarterback shade I'm coming back no interesting yeah so it looks like lions versus Packers we got two playoff teams in that lambs Rams and Seahawks two playoff teams in them not sofa whoever wins the NFC South and then whoever wins the NFC East and that's our sex the NFC South the last place is two and two why don't you why couldn't there be two teams from more than they'd have to grab the Seahawks spot yeah right unless you think like the Packers are gonna fold I think the lines are legit I was impressed by them in that Falcons game I'm not ready to count out the NFC

19:00 East I'm only tonight hey I want to see my guys tonight I like it that defense is so much improved at I can't know your great defense it's a complete opposite of how I feel when I watch the Patriots you actually can pressure the passer and do some stuff yes it's an incredible so Carson Wentz I've seen a couple NFL Films you know like him on the sidelines at him with the 61 yard field goal and him right the way interacts and then there's stuff about how he took everybody to North Dakota and they had like this bonding he actually seems like he might be something he might have some leadership skills you like him maybe I might I think I like him I like the way he carries himself I don't know how good he is but I like he has the quarterback intangibles thing down I totally agree with you and I like the Eagles coming into this season as the the team that's gonna win the NFC East and I said they they haven't done

19:53 anything to detract from that Lombardi is so down on Doug Peterson oh yeah he'll pee kills Peterson but the thing is if Wentz is the leader right and they're they're all galvanized around him then that offsets the Peterson effect damn it Eagles now once minus 120 first time their favorite to win division this year you know why I brought him up let me hear cuz Captain Morgan the captain will not rest until his bride his adventurous spirit delicious rump to every corner of America original spiced coconut pineapple white black grapefruit whatever you want the captain loves anyone who learns to mix like a captain every week sound I pick a captain of the week I think mine is Carson Wentz you like him I like the way he carries himself I think if I'm a Philly fan I don't know how talented he is maybe he's guys gonna throw the ball way too much I like the way he moves around I like the way he inspires the team I agree

20:46 with Lombardi that Doug Peterson might be a train wreck mm-hmm but I think I have a real quarterback and you go on down the line it's like I don't know about Jameis no I know like what why I really I needed Tampa to cover the minus three and I was gonna go five and on the super contest and I'm watching Jameis Sheamus is just too up and down everything looks too difficult for him yeah he's better in two years and I really thought this was gonna be the year he made the leap right and then you look at Mariota who just can't stand the field then you go on down the line Andrew Luck's already banged up and Cam Newton even though he just come back weak but but when smite you know when sand Gough that maybe those guys are good I would never put golf anywhere in here why can't we like off-gas played well this year needs to speed up that blue garment Carson Wentz is my captain who's your captain this week let me just

21:37 say is he still your captain if he doesn't give his game check to the kicker like you promised yeah how do we feel about that it was all a lie I think we have to say it's not captain like if you promise a game check and then rain how much do we think he makes a year like for five million deal in the 17 that's like a $300,000 game check yeah yeah that's stupid if it gives that up I think you should now he needs to do it by I'm dinner not even physically he's gotta be a captain yeah that J Kelly it's so happy that is my captain it's tough because it's an eighty four thousand four hundred and twenty three-way tie for every spectator how to watch that crap vest and Wembley they're all my captain of the week all the letting out that sitting through that soggy suckfest of a game yes terrible where there was how many point that was uh that's great it was it was a hundred and I don't know I had the

22:35 number and I can't read it now 146 yards and penalties one team didn't score it's just awful like we should be sending these games to North Korea not London I'm done with this that's interesting idea that the North Korea market right if that what kind of game do we send there if this is a nice thing this is crazy I'm sorry London when here's your football game Rocket Man sad and no one standing at your anthem your anthems crap Caroline the New England Tampa Bay Newt Giants we could have sent them a lot of good games we didn't we sent them and I apologize that Saints dolphins was gonna be good I was going into it I was excited as the Cutler's can hair it out this week yeah well shootout and it was like they couldn't stand their house do you want an audible captain the captain my captain kind of picking up on the cousins theme here Dean Spanos for the incredible job of poop alchemy I mean

23:32 it's unbelievable that a guy could take an NFL franchise in a city with a stable fan base and because he's not able to extort a stadium out of them move them to a place where the people could not care less and in fact provide a venue for the fans of the other team to all gather together every week o eight eight weeks here in Los Angeles area against the LA Chargers fans of those other teams get to come and celebrate congratulations despair those 15 years the LA market sitting there and he's just staring at it it doesn't do anything and then Kronk just comes in buys all the land has to go yeah oh you have to go yeah good this is he can't go 25 minutes without eating this is it so what's the house of carbs today yes let me pick up on this one thing because I talked to three Eagles fans who went to the game I make a lot of Philly fans yeah that gave well my friend and he's like he asked me like midweek he's like I have

24:30 two tickets you wanted to go a game and I told him I said [ __ ] you don't ever talk to me again your head I said what these tickets I don't want to go but anyway I talked to Eagles fans and they see it as where else would you want to watch a football game this is great that the opposing team sees it as like a sports bar like you know when you said what's the Boston Safari get see how your team that's it it's your Boston sports bar times a thousand right all your guys that's basically with every Red Sox Angels game is right yeah they into the 10,000 Red Sox fans in the games and it's like I'm with all my Boston Red Bull but it's terrible right a few reason you're gonna charge your fan it's not good well but that if you're a Chargers fan you should have quit on this team anyway because they moved out of your city so give up if I just start gambling or picking a team right or stay with them and just watch

25:19 on TV I think what sucks is that if you're on the team you have a home-field disadvantage mm-hmm I thought they'd have more fans at these games I knew that Philly fan was gonna be the game was gonna be a problem I didn't know like the Dolphins were gonna overtake this thing that was crazy yeah so like they have a red would have that what team would like Tampa do well like I'm not sure like who where does it become fancy yeah pretty crazy but I went from thinking oh maybe maybe the energy in that stadium you'll have fans on both sides and there but now it's just sad and depressing crop before we get to the the week five games cross off teams Oh New England Patriots who else crossing off the Browns right oh yeah cross not the Niners own four mm-hmm all the own fours Chargers crossing up the Chargers yeah the Giants are the only one I hesitated on hmm could they go nine and seven could though it could this could the second

26:28 wild-card be a nine and seven record could they get to nine and seven I don't have their schedule but because their last two games they lost in the you know in the last three minutes that's not they're not like the Browns just getting blown out indeed all right they go their home for the charges this week mm-hmm at Denver home for Seattle by week I think they have to win two of those next three so they'd be two and five mm-hmm home for the Rams at San Francisco conceivably four and five at that point home for Kansas City at Washington on a Thursday that I have to split those five and six at Oakland who knows with that team that could be six and six by that point home for Dallas Philly let's say they split those seven and seven at Arizona home for Washington there last month's pretty favorable three home games against NFC teams week away yeah I don't think they go nine in three but we usually try to cross off a team or a

27:29 week where for weeks and I can only find three okay wait you wouldn't press off anyone else right yeah I guess the the Bengals survive another week of press off anyone in that division right because it's bad cuz it's bad and it's like if Roethlisberger gets hurt next week then nine and seven might win that division I'm not cross the Colts off can't if they lose this week though can't cross the Colts on because of luck coming back maybe all right yeah so that's it the reverse or not even though you're saying two teams in the NFC no one cross off the Bears ik is the Viking stink and I think that bears schedules but there's two good teams already in that division they're like two games behind the Lions who you have as a wild-card all right well I can't cross the Bears up here yeah Kate would you cross the Bears off yeah take grab your bike back oh yeah hey Tate's not crossing them off until he sees true

28:21 Biscay in there yeah: intra Biscay I'm in on both those guys mm-hmm I think the Bears have something like those two running backs together kind of scary I don't want to cross them off it I like their defense too all right five week five we have some buys this week let me just say we're two and two against each other with some people get mad that we don't recap the score and everything week five two and two yeah four teams on buy Falcons Broncos Saints Redskins which of those four needed to buy the most probably the Falcons yeah I guess the Falcons yeah III think they win that game I know I'm gonna get crap from Bell's Bills fans but and because they were the team I was most wrong about all year I think but kind of lucky to be where they are I think I really do the bills are they they beat the Jets bills they come [ __ ] one week one couple calls what week one remember week one they should have went

29:21 didn't they play the Jets week one week two Panthers Panthers all right yeah yeah we - is Panthers Jones and yes that sort of us yeah yeah sure when that one maybe weird call with Dan Birnbaum there's good down turn the ball over yeah that's good but Julio Jones plays Mohamed Sanu plays the part I don't understand with them is why they didn't need Sammy Watkins well that's what's weird it was he like a bad team is wrapping the whole team for draft picks yeah Reggie Ragland at the end like that's never that never works for teams I don't know if that zeta-jones is the answer but maybe they'll be able to if they really feel like they have a chance to win the division they could always be good flip for a wide receiver so Thursday night here we go this bizarre I actually thought it was a mistake when they were talking about this during the Pats game wow they got it you know Thursday night and tape I'm like did

30:09 we're playing Thursday in Tampa like somehow I missed it I don't think we've played in Tampa Bay three times in my life that could be right I'm gonna say if you gave me the over-under for three and a half I would go under I can't remember the last time we've played there I honestly can't I don't know if it's happening on Thursday night I can't remember the last road game they've played on a Thursday night against a non AFC East team and I actually thought that mostly division games right but this one's not it's a weird game and it's it's the worst possible timing for them because the defense is and complete disarray and of all weeks where you would have wanted a week to kind of plan stuff my guess is that everybody and their brother is gonna write them off this week which is usually a good sign of your Pats fan write them off shines I know people to be careful with the paths I picked for

31:10 this game Pat's at Tampa my pick is Pat's by three and a half now you know it's higher than that you just know you know it's higher than that it's higher than that yeah because it's it back against the wall game I had six it's five so it's a mistake hmm it's a Thursday night game oh I get it I think Tam is pretty good and and I mean where I'm pasting about over 500 points this year so I looked it up the light the entire belcheck Pat's rent mm-hmm true or false they've never given up 350 points in a season false true really yeah nobody they've never given up more than like 346 so they're on pace right now for 516 mm-hmm I don't know it's a problem the other thing is they have two home losses I think they had tuitions GRE they had one in 2015 and one in 2014 very strange but the defense is bad but what did Carolina have like 21 going into the fourth quarter like it wasn't you know you expect your team to score 35 at home

32:16 the brown they didn't take care of Malcolm Butler and he hasn't been good this year they spent their free agent ransom money on out ransom but they're there whatever for Gilmour who has not been good this year right and they didn't address the front seven really at all then their third-round pick gets hurt [ __ ] rich retired think of it retiring could be bigger than anything on branch numbers wise not spectacular but lalita but it's like I'm like a leader yeah they just kind of lost our identity and I don't see how it gets better because you know as as Lombardo said on GM Street you can see every play they're getting push backwards mm-hmm and that that's not fixable I don't know how they fix it here's what I would do if I was the Patriots I would go the other that people are like Oh which they do go out who can they trade for it's like this defense is gonna suck bail checks gonna be able to put stuff together I

33:09 would actually try to make the offense better hmm I would go get Jarvis Landry okay let's just load it up let's have like a million weapons and just be like we're staying on the field for 40 minutes a game you're not even getting the ball we're just gonna fly down yeah and kick your ass well because you because you're gonna score on us when you get the ball it's interesting it's a nice thing to do for Brady to like in his last couple years was that cool to show off remember that Colts team that didn't they even they might even won the Superbowl when uh the safety Bob Sanders when he was hurt most oh yeah and they were just keeping up 30 points a game but Manning was scoring and they wrote some yes James maybe that's what they have to do cuz I don't know if they can solve the deal I think they do have to do that the other option would be to fire the defensive coordinator who belcheck has been carrying for the last

33:57 few years and nobody wants to admit that he's really not good and that we in all of these Super Bowls they fall behind teams have had big drives in them and you know if it's not for that Malcolm Butler play they lose that Seattle game I don't know about zooming scheming wise they do seem to draft the right type of guy for every position that that isabela check special but when you get to like scheming as a defensive coordinator maybe you're right maybe maybe this isn't the guy guy for the job made that - seven hundred to win the division that one wait what was it to start - five thousand or something crazy this is easily the worst defense I actually went through because I remembered like the oh five defense being bad that year brewski after the third Super Bowl brewski had like the stroke so he didn't play that year and people got all that was I remember that defense being really bad and I think they gave up like 340 points

34:48 right it wasn't even they weren't even that bad you know they gave at danto gave up a 40-point game in the colts but other than that it wasn't like a disaster then jake plummer kind of picked him apart in the playoffs this defense is much worse than that do you guys want to guess one more odd Z type thing when the Panthers the game was tied the Patriots tied it well how much time was left how much time did the Panthers at fit four minutes no was it that much four minutes Panthers have the ball what do you think the line is on the game Pat's by like 200 - 200 Wow just the fact that they were favored there was - 150 but the fact that they were favored the Panthers had the ball driving against his bad defense - I thought it was a quick three and out for the pan oh yeah and Brady comes down and scores a touchdown that's could've been there was a defense of a couple of weird calls in that last Drive the Pats amido

35:41 is not gonna play 17 games or 17 he's not gonna last seven two weeks the way that they were lying on and out because he can't stay in the field he takes too many hits no that's why I Jarvis Landry I feel like you go steel right now he's just terrible situation with this bad quarterback and Miami he doesn't seem like they're happy with him I would go take that guy just put him in trust put him on the team mate should I be smart out there in third division traded kills the inferior team so the Sunday Marquis game of the week I almost hurt your feelings and did Seahawks Rams for this okay I almost hurt your feelings cuz the game I'm the most excited about Seahawks Rams but wasn't that like seven three last year so you hooked I just can't think this is it the Rams everybody's gonna blow smoke up their asses all week Shaun McVeigh oh my god he's so great jerk-off mm-hmm Todd Gurley this is it all right God

36:36 prove it cuz everybody's gonna kiss your asses Sunday Marquis Dallas hosting the Packers you wouldn't have green bags we're not very good right now Packers I have favored by three points in Dallas oh wow I had Cowboys by two it's Cowboys by two and a half well you're really down on the time really I can't believe you'd make this in the marquee matchup I'm so down as favored on that I thought your defense was shaky anyway and how long Shanley yeah now it's you know they don't know but it's gonna be it's gonna be bad I mean there was a mass exodus for the d-backs this year from Dallas and I didn't even love any of them I like Barry church he's a hard hitter you went to but then Mars Claiborne died no use for car played but you know serviceable but never got hurt but these replacements are not gang busters in any stretch and you lose John Lee and it's a different story marinelle we talk about defensive coordinators that might

37:35 be in trouble yeah but us organics supposed to be there right I don't see how you keep pace with them this game des isn't the top eight receiver anymore don't you think the Packers will be favored by the end of the week maybe it can I come down and then again they're playing on ten days rest against Dallas you know another another Screwjob in that regard I was gonna I really was trying to talk myself into the rams moneyline astronaut can do it I like doing the Niners moneyline yeah which is like plus 2:30 let's see huh sister that overtime first down and goal from the 8 they'd run play the guy gets tackled 7 yards beyond the line of scrimmage for the field goal and then carson palmer you know is anybody just vacillate between confident and completely incompetent like him during a football game all of a sudden he's confident he's just burned down the field he's finding open guys it's like

38:25 what terrible for three hours just send somebody every time against him he gets the happy feet and he's in trouble what do you think in the overtime the 10 minutes I think you're I think it's I think it's like - I would have gotten 12 yeah 12 as better 12 seems fair because it ain't seem too fast well now the coin toss means more than any yeah right you get a six and a half minute drive and you kick a field goal the other team only has three and a half minutes to match your field goal it seems like coin tosses means a lot if you were a 29 year old up-and-coming play-by-play guy mm-hmm who your dream was to be like the next I'll Michaels is Jay talking about Tate right now yeah and you were watching that game and I think that was the game dick Stockton's announced he was announcing one of them I think with Sam Rose Oh Sam resin so you watching these games and it's like dick Stockton's Sam Rosen yeah you just

39:16 gotta be like oh my god I'm never getting a break these guys are a hundred years old still if the play-by-play guy said what am I gonna get a chance you rest do the math Joe Mac's not leaving Oh Michaels is leaving like how am I gonna break into the business ya have to kill can't do it Tate sorry can I just say something bad Zeke Elliott real quick people think he's not a good guy so he don't think he's not a good guy okay you'll see let's listen he dives for the pylon and he scores touchdown he does the hot potato thing the Cowboys get in the circle the offensive line he throws the ball around the fat number 73 spikes it and that's it they review the play he's not in it's not a touchdown okay he scores later on same endzone takes the ball runs it up to his mother in the front row and kisses her he was that convinced that he was going to score twice that he forgot about his mother for the first celebration but that's all

40:10 good guys sorry Mike I do this hot potato thing if there's time and I score and happens to be in the same end zone you'll get the ball I prompt what a great guy there you go I'm still that convinced it's confident as watching the Broncos Raiders yesterday I think it was CJ Anderson they showed his mom in the stands dad apologies if it wasn't him but I think it was him it was somebody in Denver and they're like there's his mom she's wearing a Raiders jacket oh no and she's got the Denver Jersey underneath and and they're saying there's this mob she's a huge Raiders fan she's really conflicted about this game I'm thinking like conflicted like that's her son one game just wait for one game for your son what's worse than having lousy sheets I can't think of anything remember being in college trying to prolong the same set of sheets yeah nine weeks disgusting they wear Tate how often you deal in laundry what

41:04 are you in for my sheets no just in general half-indian logic young people I'd like to be large like two weeks once every two weeks you guess what great sleep starts with the right sheets and they're more affordable than you think with bow and branch they make the most comfortable sheets you'll ever sleep on fall asleep faster sleep deeper wake up ready to kick some ass each sheet crafted from a hundred percent organic cotton feel incredible look amazing and since ball and branch sells exclusively online no expensive retail market markup half the price twice quality anyone who sleeps on bull and branch sheets loves them that's why they have thousands of five-star reviews go to ball and branch calm today you'll get $50 off your first set of sheets plus free shipping when you use the promo code BS it's Bo ll end and the branch calm try them for 30 nights if you're not impressed return them for a full refund again $50

41:54 plus free shipping $50 off plus free shipping right now at bol and branch calm okay man we got to race through these lot of blog games let's race through the poop fact okay I had to this week I had at least two yeah the New York Jets are at the Cleveland Browns and the Indianapolis Colts are hosting the San Francisco 49ers dare I say we've never had a better poop effective combo than those two yeah it's I don't want to watch one second of either of those games I had the Jets minus three at Cleveland and I had the Colts minus two and a half at home against the 49ers would us I had Jets minus two and a half somehow Cleveland is favored by one and a half oh my god what did you have for anything Cleveland's been favored twice this year hey why are we doing this to ourselves I feel like that why don't we just bet against the Browns every week it's like we're going in the buffet and passing the crab legs just to get to the mashed

42:51 potatoes like what are you making hard arms if we had just gone into the season and well you know why because they threw us off in week one when they covered after they did that we should just be like all right there wanna know against this let's go you're right so the the end ones - to now form the night it's aw it's off the board I had three but they don't know about luck or versed or anything I continue to kind of like this Niners team I think they're The Frisky hang around but lose at the end team yeah that is fun to bet on I feel bad a little for Kyle Shannon they should be a little better than this they lost three games by eight points well yesterday they were dropping passes that they should have when that came yesterday all right barely watchable I have six barely watchable so we'll just go through this let's do add to road favorites first cincinnati hosting the Bills of buffalo I had the bills - - I

43:41 might be wrong I had the same thing Bill Simmons and Cincinnati's favored by three off by five points that game so the bills are just gonna be that nobody believes in the rest gambling in the bank yeah they hang in these games they're as good they're as good as the bangles at least I think the other one is Tennessee is at Miami there's no way Miami can be favored in this game how long is Mariota out do we know I think that I think this is based on him playing because there was a line on this so Mariota went to get his hamstring checked out yesterday and I brought a cheese plate for the doctor and gave all the nurses and stuff candy and just there they were just in love with him it's not making that up he's my head is a great guy started like yeah make a great if he stayed on the field for four straight games stretch that hammy yeah it's great guy though what'd you have for this Titans minus three in

44:35 Miami is what I had that's what I had and that's what the line is so could this be Matt Cassel for his Jay Cutler is that Tate is that what this is yeah Ben it's gonna be the [ __ ] could be Matt Moore versus Matt Cassel one of the Matt's listen I'm already on the record with this from last year I continued the Matt Morris half-decent you know a half game he got concussed and that was the only reason he [ __ ] the bed in that plan but they were playing well up until that point I think Castle I think this is still a three point the Titans are favored by three even if Castle but what do you need three or ten points to beat the Dolphins that that's fine Castle Mario it doesn't matter there's might guess to be matt moore is the quarterback for this game all right for home favorites for the barely watchable first one probably not alive for this raiders hosting the ravens yeah no line I don't even guess both teams to into

45:27 obviously back spasms they're positive about car but they're not pop they're not sure so the Ravens past the injury point of no return it seems like because I like them as like how the hell is this team tenants takes their defense carrying them but they now they can't block they lost yonder and talked about a team that threw us off with the first two games yeah but they had too many injuries I don't hold that against him yeah Giants are home for the Chargers this has all the makings of the Eli ramen it up your butt bet has all the makings yeah he's putting on that he's putting on the latex glove Vaseline ready for you yeah and there's all probably some rivers a little little rivalry right with the draft picks and everything go for they got foot I mean the Chargers have to be happy to find they'd be on the road yeah they've had some fans everything it's same experience anyway the Giants have

46:22 covered the last two weeks mmm they covered the Eagles game they're down 14 come back they ended up they lose but they cover I feel like I talked you out of a couple bets you like the nine same yesterday Thursday night you like you said let me know Tampa gets down to two and a half no I like that house like it did I found that I like the Rams Underwood minus three there's the same kind of plant one buy but didn't cover yet we've had a couple of those so the Giants let yesterday somehow cover Tampa Nick folk just incredible I mean obviously he's just had a bad day but it did it did make you think like if you were ever gonna fix an NFL game right you go after the long snapper the kicker more like the umpire who can call which empire would you go after at the line judge what for an offsides will you st. I guess you probably want some pass interference right yes all of those you'd want somebody on the sidelines who

47:19 was just throwing pass interference penalty those would be the three Nick folk yesterday single-handedly cost them the cover sure because they they were better than the Giants I mean that game should have been a but also Evans going down at the three-inch line yeah and they don't score they don't get a touchdown like why isn't Winston why don't they have a QB sneak there why haven't screw around all right the Eagles are home for the Cardinals wait you didn't say giant Giants by four and a half I put that in the Vegas zone huh I I got it I said three and a half and it is three and a half and I think that's it I think McAdoo was Mac and done I'm going against you here I think the Chargers win Tate like that when McAdoo is minus 200 ton minus 200 first coach fired Pagano plus 220 huge actually this is an amazing game because you have two teams that just continually figure out how to screw up in the fourth

48:09 quarter and pull defeat out of the hands of victory and NASA maybe they tie can we bet the draw like a bug this is yeah we should drop it but you like this game so much better than some of the other two and two teams fighting each other right like you would watch this more than the charges made me feel bad about myself when i watch the they're just fill rivers yesterday there's one point they're gonna go for it on fourth and two or something for the 40mm and there's something got screwed up and he comes late and come in and he threw a tantrum like that my son throws when like the HDMI cable doesn't work on his xbox it's like watching the night euro because God forever says eight kids here I was like a kid Eagles hosting Arizona hmm Carson Wentz a lot of pressure on him now he was one of our captains of the week I had the Eagles by seven they're dying for us to put them in at ease there they're begging us you were closer

49:04 I had five at six and a half and they don't need to beg you you love the Eagles you hate no I don't have egos a Cardinals I will not put Doug Peterson no chance I think I will not see well that is brainwashed I don't trust Dave I think that team's poor the coach they should have won that game yesterday but 15 points and right I think the Cardinals are bad yeah like they're they're just a bad football team I can't even believe them when that came in I mean the best players gone it's tough yeah you lose your bet your best do it all running back guy who your own name is Bill Turner that's gonna be a problem in your quarterback stool last game for the barely watchable Pittsburgh at home against Jacksonville who bored old cousins on this week they you got bored old by them well but also like let's the hand it to the Jags defense you have one play you have to guard against all game it's the off tackle

49:53 right and it's Bell Powell and just make sure he's tackled when he's tackled yeah I got something run 75 yards that was a killer sorry it's Taylor seven and a half you get this I had seven it's up to nine I'm not teasing them I don't trust the Steelers yeah nine you have to do a little you have to be a little creative with that too watchable mm-hmm these are pretty watchable pretty watchable these combo Detroit is hosting the rejuvenated Panthers of Carolina mmm-hmm I have the trip by four maybe lo let me find this no no yeah it's hi I said three it's exactly three because I believe in Alliance I think they like the Panthers to hate how do you feel about that for whatever reason the Panthers have been better the road this year so but I don't know I've been out of the dome team I like Stafford I thought the Lions will get win I think the Panthers thanks to the New England Patriots putrid defense

50:52 threw everyone off the scent a little bit this week I don't think they're nearly as potent as they looked at that game I'm going I'm going opposite here take three to one to win the division Panthers you've liked Carolina from the get-go I thought there were ten win team we said as long as Kiki's playing we like them the moment he goes out it's like a Shawn Lee situation I just word aboard a blue like it landed that much more than Carolina or Carol eyes now you don't want three two one I think Alana's I did it starting to look like this season from how for them right like Maddie I says what seven picks down and like for them were deflected or tipped and it just seems like one of those seasons Vic Beasley got hurt already the other watchable game the LA Rams I'm gonna say it Sal this is the biggest football game in Los Angeles for professional I'm gonna say since like 1991 you're gonna beat me on

51:41 this anything I have the Seahawks favor by tuna oh okay you're gonna love this I had Seahawks by three its Rams by two the Millennial shot nickname this game you need to go to this game I'm genuinely into the Rams go to the game my son were Rams tears yeah would it be upset wow I like the Rams I like girly I like Sammy Watkins is on my fantasy team I enjoy Jared Goff I like the Millennial shot McVeigh it's like it sounds to me no fun their defense would be a lot better I thought you do yeah I think as folks later I gotta say I love the ramps I know you know I mean in this game oh I say I love the ramps alright I think if it's less than three take the ramps I think they're better the Seahawks will get to where they need to go it's just not gonna happen yet could they win the division if they're two back and so France can win the division will win it okay if they went listen this happens every single year there's a team that we

52:40 have we just can't believe it that they're gonna finish the Levin and five last always happen who was it love the Lions last year who is yeah was the now I think the divisions like close the Raiders last year yeah Raiders remember people the rollers can't know but people are like ah the Raiders aren't going to make the playoffs they're the Raiders and then also like eating one you're in the Falcons last year after the Panthers I get a Super Bowl and there's about 15 and 1/2 percent you look at the Rams and they've had a million first-round picks then they screwed up a lot of them but at some point you know you're gonna start adding good players Oh Sunday night right we got to talk about Gillette okay first of all I'd like to apologize to Patriots nation cuz ever since I started doing these Gillette ads we've completely lost our home field advantage so I blame myself I don't think it's Gillette spot but the tip of

53:35 a Gillette razor blade measured on an atomic scale their blade edge edges are thinner than a single brain cell it's the work of many brain cells hundreds of members enjoy its research and development team that have spent over 4700 years combined working to make your shave closer more comfortable I wish they had spent more time on our defense they're not in the path of Pat's fredcember know a thousand craftsmen and women in Boston busy making our blades and another team putting our blades through more than 60 extremely strict and precise quality checks fail one of those tests and it doesn't leave the factory I wish the Patriots defense I wish they didn't leave the factory I wish they kept working on it the hard-working people that never stop working to make your blades better that includes the price tag you can get your lap blades at their lowest prices in years see for yourself at Gillette

54:22 ondemand.com sours Gillette the best a man can get it's absolutely the best of mankind that's how I feel too pricing applies to select products and as the sole discretion of the retailer all right I don't even know if a woman could do better than Gillette no no my wife Oh she'll shave her legs which isn't good just grab my leg she'll crap this is actually what does your wife do this grab your razor by accident yeah and then but then they kind of mess it up yeah yeah thermals worst Sunday night is a great game I'm genuinely looking forward to this game Houston hosting the Kansas City Chiefs I have the Chiefs favored by two and a half out of myself forgetting this right it's one and a half hmm right now so if they blow out washed in tonight I think that line most of three yeah you know it's funny we always talk about the short week and everything I think like RJ belt someone listed the stat like I don't

55:15 know Monday you play Monday then you have to go on the road like I think like the the team playing on the short week is 572 and 571 against the spread know that it's factored into the line can I make one prediction for this game I'm gonna parlay it with the Texans Chris Collinsworth deshaun Watson will make some play unlike the second quarterback oh this guy's not rookie you can't tell me this guy's rookie he's not a rookie I could do that whole thing I like to show Watson Monday night the Bears of Chicago mm-hmm our hosting the Minnesota Vikings now I I I'm changing my guest for this cuz since I've made these picks that one cook is now out for the year so that you I had this like two and a half I'm gonna I'm gonna cut a half plan I'm gonna sit Vikings by two in Chicago you just screwed yourself I did yeah Vikings I said by three and a half it's three really we would have split that one let me see if it matters

56:18 then Matt I think I'd be jealous you be me this thing like nine six or something Jesus yeah who is the Vikings starting running back this week what is it mechanic what did what are they doing like it's both it's uh mccannon and uh why can't I think of this tell you do his Vikings was Marie right Latif oh yeah well Tavis yeah they wouldn't put McKenna no problemo yeah we still don't have a sponsor for parent corner but it has become America's favorite segment if anyone who wants sponsor parent corner just make us an offer will do week to week sponsors that America loves it they do do you want to go first I guess it seems petty right now it seems like champagne problems but you know my four-year-old has a side pad it's been handed down I know it's already gross but can't be down an iPad yeah so he gets mad at this one baseball game he doesn't realize it's a smart kid he doesn't realize when he's at bat or

57:12 when he's pitching in this baseball app so when he's when he's paid Shing and the guy his opponent swings and misses he freaks out because he thinks he's freed swinging and missing so he throws the iPad as a tantrum tantrum it's everything I deserve it's sounds like it really is so now this thing is splintered and these things the glass it breaks right now so we've replaced this twice and it's not cheap to replace the glass on an iPad like 140 bucks if they do it right a lot of times they don't you take it back now he's got a racket by the way there's like some it's always like shady guy tomorrow's a yeah $130 cash yeah it's a new term I Center yeah you have termites that's it but anyway so this is splintered up and now it's got what I need advice in this week's parent corner how bad does it have to get before I now replace it because again now it's broken and splintered then we have like band-aids

58:07 on the iPad it's crazy and like one day like we thought he had ketchup on this page you don't it ketchup on it so it's like I was looking let's wipe his hands after he's like no that's blood he's bleeding because he's swiping on there on the on a splint it up iPad so I need help as to win we need to replace this eye well just my face would have been you don't get to use the iPad if you're gonna throw it yeah we tried that a little Mike it's such a great babysitter you can't can't totally do away with it that's pretty good alright send us advice at the bail bag at the ringer calm or band-aids yeah band-aids those advice parent corner for me this week Saturday night we go out to dinner come back we're getting rent a movie as a fan watching movie my my kids love horror movies mm-hm so Leatherface was available on DirecTV nice which is the prequel of Texas Chainsaw Massacre but the modern version of the prequel so I'm

59:05 like oh leather face and Ben my son is all fired up for the leather face because he loves horror movies and it's rated R so solid are solid are so I'm about to go on the internet to see like to make sure there's not sexing a turd like it's not bad Ben my liar son who's the last we covered last week he's just a flat-out liar to lie right to your face Ben Ben goes now I went on the website it's fine there's no sex in it I checked and normally I could tell when he's lying but he really didn't seem like she was like all right cool I'm excited for this movie I'm glad we can all watch it as a family it starts out with somebody gets hammered in the side their whole head explodes its backside there but it goes like about a half hour in and there's a sex scene where that all the inmates are escaping this asylum and this girl gets excited with her crazy lover that she's with and goes down on it oh no in the

1:00:10 thing so we're like covering their eyes were in my wife's like this is crazy we got a step wide system no no it's fine it was one second it's not sex ten minutes later there's like these two people just start going at it all the sudden it's like I mean it's like like kind of graphic riding thing I can't find the pause button cuz we had let the thing and it's like there's like doggy style Oh No Ben's pretending he's covering guys it's not we were just so mad my list man at me I'm mad at Ben right my daughter's like why do you trust he's just a liar by sense a liar I love it what are you watching with the teacher from waited for Nick to be in the sexy the new PE teacher would be the only way better yeah yeah so tomorrow the story is don't watch Leatherface with your mates anyway but definitely don't watch it if you think there's that gonna be sex in it because there is right and and my son's a liar flat-out

1:01:18 liar he lies I have a broken iPad for him if you make any any of these games jump in a TV for this week potentially no not a lot of them I don't know I do think green baize can score on Dallas though it feels like an underdog week yeah it's my take away I did have this 35:25 and one underdog so that's like nine and six every week might as well just we know that in your pool just circle all the other dogs we've said for ten years I think on this podcast if you just take the home favorites every week mm-hmm and just just automatic you'll be about 500 over your home favorites I'm sorry the home underdog yeah right homeowner dogs it's always it ends up being like they go 30 and 21 or yeah 32 and 23 you're always gonna be like 8 9 gets over at 500 what do you have to plug this weekend oh we have against all odds like I said the degenerate trifecta is pretty hot hairy plus 180 brother Brian had a

1:02:23 17 parlay that cashed listen for that Wednesday night and OJ Simpson will be our guest oh no no we're not gonna do that now Jimmy Kimmel Live Anthony Anderson Alex Rodriguez one of your favorites ah my music from savage tonight and that's that I have a couple things to plug but house and I are gonna do MBA over unders which we do every year on this podcast then I'm doing the MLB show that we have the ringer and mobi show on Wednesday morning after the Yankee wild-card game Joe and I are gonna have a special edition Oh God either a post mortem for the Yankee season what's the land Yankees - 240 70 for one game and by the way their fans are already trying to figure out the Indians match is always works every 10 is a good picture like I would not have an update Leo we're gonna roll over Vince Santana that guy will keep them in the game and and there's good guys in the twins and that would be a little more nervous

1:03:19 surprising fit so either way Jaco and I are gonna be on the ringer MLB show and then Mallory Rubin and I are gonna are gonna talk about uh playoff odds for that nice don't forget about my column on the ringer on Fridays something NFL related thanks to Bluehost whether your blogger small business owner blue houses everything you need to build hosts and manage the website you've always wanted saponin for beginners powerful enough for even the most advanced users design your website your way no wonder it's been the top recommended WordPress host on wordpress.org since 2005 and now our listeners say 50% when you sign up at Bluehost comm / Bill Simmons thanks to Gillette did you know a Gillette razor blade edge thinner than a single brain cell did you know Gillette Stadium hosts a team that doesn't have a defense anymore that's the product of many brain cells at work from the thousands of men and

1:04:07 women at Gillette they're always working harder to make your shape better now you can get Gillette blades for Less at Gillette ondemand.com thanks to Captain Morgan our friends don't forget to be the captain out there thanks to see geek don't forget BS NFL 20% off first time football purchases so can you tape tomorrow boot Fulford you'll figure it out yeah so we're gonna have we're gonna do the eastern calm which conference do you want on again Stella no why don't you guys do over on there's and we'll do everything else Rookie of the Year and drums props yeah that's what you want to do yeah let's make it like I'm screwing you now so you want to do rookie this Monday we could do divisions we can do conferences we could do Rookie of the Year you guys do over/under wins that's a good idea okay so we'll go faster with the over/under Smith GM that into one podcast and then do all the props yeah the Rookie of the

1:05:01 Year is like almost its own podcast so you're not even allowed to touch that right or you can't I just can't yeah Kate the Rick is the most exciting Rookie of the Year bed in class I've ever seen yeah for football lots I was almost I think he's favored yeah I think he's plus 250 and the bit but like he's like a pretty heavy favorite for Rookie of the Year and I have some thoughts on that alright alright so against all odds not going I just say I just this is what a loser I am I got a text from an unidentified number it says we have information which will affect the outcome of Washington the Kansas City don't touch this game until you hear what we have to say reply yes we'll text it free Thank You tears thumbing less for 30 years I'm like I'm getting texts from people who are threatening me from considering the game our customers attributed this as a my story right funny thing is he is a Forester yeah

1:05:53 yeah he's legendary Forester I was because I was like did did someone in Jimmy's life suggest this pot line yeah or did Larry David independently just just supernaturally know Jimmy was the perfect guy for this I think HBO said that he for stood you on that that's how this whole thing started there's no way to prove that right yeah no it's you know if Jimmy's recommended somebody oh it was like to foist er himself no it's a great episode and a great to have that show back good time that shows been gone for so long that they were showing the last season yeah and I totally forgotten like Michael J Fox like that whole season no it felt like it was 70 years ago right great to have that back cuz good job by you good job I be back later than we can be a spy

Questions about this episode

What is discussed in "The Bill Simmons Podcast - Guess the Lines Week 5 With Cousin Sal and Joe House (Ep. 267)"?

In order: 0:00 Joe House, Bill Simmons, NFL, Fantasy Football; 10:00 Rookie of the Year, Tiger Woods, Bill Simmons, Fantasy Football; 20:00 Carson Wentz, New England Patriots, Cincinnati Bengals, Cleveland Browns; 30:00 Super Bowl, Dallas Cowboys, Green Bay Packers, Mike Lombardi; 40:00 New York Giants, Tennessee Titans, Bill Simmons, Buffalo Bills; 50:00 Gillette, Minnesota Vikings, Fantasy Football, New England Patriots; 1:00:00 Rookie of the Year, Bluehost, Bill Simmons, Cousin Sal.

What is mentioned in this The Bill Simmons Podcast NBA episode?

49 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Bill Simmons, NFL, Joe House, Fantasy Football, New England Patriots, Los Angeles Rams. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "The Bill Simmons Podcast - Guess the Lines Week 5 With Cousin Sal and Joe House (Ep. 267)"?

The episode runs 1 h 7 min; the transcript is about 12,954 words in 72 timestamped sections.

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