Transcript

Nick Offerman: America's Small Farms Are Being Slaughtered by Corporations | The Daily Show

From The Daily Show · Episode page · Watch on YouTube

· 8 min · 1,073 words · 19 timestamped sections

This is the full, timestamped transcript of "Nick Offerman: America's Small Farms Are Being Slaughtered by Corporations | The Daily Show", an episode of The Daily Show published November 13, 2025 (8 min, about 1,073 words). It mentions 19 people, works and ideas, including Nick Offerman, United States (states), Ethanol, Twinkie, Cargill.

Who speaks in this episode?

What is discussed, and when

  1. – 3:00: Ethanol, Nick Offerman, United States (states)
  2. – 6:00: Cardiovascular Disease, Cargill, National Beef, Twinkie
  3. – 7:56: Donald Trump, High Fructose Corn Syrup, Organic Food, Trade War

Notable quotes from "Nick Offerman: America's Small Farms Are Being Slaughtered by Corporations | The Daily Show"

  • Hello, I am that guy from that show Nick Offerman and today I am here to talk to you about farmers. Now, farmers aren't just guys mowing down their corn field to build a baseball field for ghosts.
    about Nick Offerman · at
  • We've, lost, half, the, cattle, ranchers, in the United States since 1980. About 90% of the hog farmers in, the, last, two, decades., More, than 100,000 small farms have disappeared across America's landscape.
    about United States (states) · at
  • Engineered to make more profit than nutrition. Now, don't get me wrong. I enjoy junk food. I'll eat a Twinkie. they're like butt plugs, fun in moderation, and you can stick them up your butt.
    about Twinkie · at
  • This, actually, has, very, real, health impacts. High blood pressure cardiovascular disease.
    about Cardiovascular Disease · at
  • It's because they prioritize organic food made on smaller farms. The average farm size in Europe is 39 acres. In America, it's 500 acres. European farms are like their bathing suits, much.
    about Organic Food · at
  • Refocus America's agriculture on things that mother nature would recognize and not the producers of high fructose corn syrup. We can change our approach to food to make it more like actual food.
    about High Fructose Corn Syrup · at

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

  • Nick Offerman — Person · 1 mention · first at
  • Donald Trump — Person · 1 mention · first at
    Cattle, ranchers, are, furious, over President Trump's plans to bring down beef prices by bringing in more from other countries.
  • James Rebanks — Person · 1 mention
  • Wendell Berry — Person · 1 mention

Companies & orgs

  • Cargill — Company · 1 mention · first at
    All the choices I have at the grocery store. Well, look closer. Tyson Cargill, JBS, and National Beef together control roughly 85% of all beef production in America.
  • National Beef — Company · 1 mention · first at
    All the choices I have at the grocery store. Well, look closer. Tyson Cargill, JBS, and National Beef together control roughly 85% of all beef production in America.
  • JBS — Company · 1 mention
  • Tyson Foods — Company · 1 mention
  • World Health Organization — Company · 1 mention

Products & tech

  • Ethanol — Product · 1 mention · first at
    What's being grown is corn and soybeans used for livestock feed and ethanol or as cheap sugars, starches and oils in highly processed foods.
  • Twinkie — Product · 1 mention · first at
  • High Fructose Corn Syrup — Product · 1 mention · first at
  • Doritos — Product · 1 mention

Concepts & topics

Places & events

Full transcript with timestamps

Hello, I am that guy from that show Nick Offerman and today I am here to talk to you about farmers. Now, farmers aren't just guys mowing down their corn field to build a baseball field for ghosts. They are also a vital part of America's economy and national identity. Now luckily, they have a staunch ally.

We, have, the, greatest, farmers, in, the world. I cherish our farmers. I'm, a, big, farmer, person., I, love, the farmers. I think they're great. I love the farmers. They're great. They're the greatest. The farmers love Trump. And I love the farmers. I love cows. Come on. Come on. Love is love. And I've seen that guy dance. I bet he knows his way around an udder.

And, look,, I happen to share the nonsexual part of his affection for our farmers. I have been lucky enough to work on the small farms of people like English farmer James Reebanks and Kucky's Mary and Wendell Barry. They let a Hollywood mucky muck like me help with hering the cattle, scrubbing the animals, and of course, testing the semen.

No,, they, assured, me, that's, the, most coveted job on the farm. So, please consider my hands sticky with experience. Unfortunately, small farms like those have been tragically disappearing for decades. According to census data, there are already 10% fewer farms than there were just 5 years ago.

We've, lost, half, the, cattle, ranchers, in the United States since 1980. About 90% of the hog farmers

in, the, last, two, decades., More, than 100,000 small farms have disappeared across America's landscape.

America, cannot, afford, to, lose, this, many farms. Without them, we'll have nothing to point at and shout cow on road trips. But the real reason these small farms are going away is in America, we don't farm to feed people. Because we are not growing food. What we're growing is ingredients.

The, number, of, farms, and, what, they produce for human consumption have been on a steady decline over the past few decades in the US. Instead what's being grown is corn and soybeans used for livestock feed and ethanol or as cheap sugars, starches and oils in highly processed foods. In other words, we're not growing corn and beans to eat. They're being grown to turn them into whatever the a Dorito is. I believe that is short for dirt burrito. And this is something America's farmers have known for decades. Our food system is no longer about food. It's now about corporate interests. And everything is engineered to make more profit than nutrition. Now, don't get me wrong. I enjoy junk food. I'll eat a Twinkie. I mean, they're like butt plugs, fun in moderation, and you can stick them up your butt.

Or so I've read. But as the number of small farms shrinks, the diversity of our food supply shrinks with it. And you might think, well, that can't be true. Look at all the choices I have at the grocery store. Well, look closer. Tyson Cargill, JBS, and National Beef together control roughly 85% of all beef production in America.

This, bacon, is, a, good, example., You, know, these look like three different choices of bacon. They're all actually the same company.

You, capitalist, pigs, have, ruined, our normal pigs. How dare you trick me with bacon like I'm some dog you're training to sit. Now, in fairness, I will present my paw for meat snacks. Nevertheless, giant food conglomerates have turned America's farms into what we call factory farms, which is an oxymoron like bittersweet veggie burger or Canadian football. Well, we're all friends. Now, just look at some of the wonderful benefits of our current industrial food system.

Ultrarocessed, foods, make, up, 73%, of, the US food supply. This, actually, has, very, real, health impacts. High blood pressure cardiovascular disease.

Ultrarocessed, foods, may, be, linked, to anxiety and depression and sleep problems. In 2015, the WHO classified ultrarocessed meat as carcinogenic.

Jesus,, I'm, trying, to, make, a, BLT, here, not become a Spiderman. Now, you don't need me to tell you that our food system is a nightmare. We all understand in our guts that the quality of food is better in other countries. It's the one time even Fox News will praise Europe.

When, you, go, to, Europe,, the, food, is delicious. It's so fresh. And you don't gain weight if you eat a big bowl of pasta. We can eat pizza. We don't gain any weight. You feel fresh. You feel clean. You come back here, you start eating pasta, and you gain weight immediately again. So, there's something wrong with our foods.

Yes., Why, is, it, that, the, food, tastes better in Europe? It's not just because you're starving after waiting in line for 12 hours to see a painting of a modestly breasted woman not smiling. It's not. It's because they prioritize organic food made on smaller farms. The average farm size in Europe is 39 acres. In America, it's 500 acres. European farms are like their bathing suits, much smaller, so you can see every detail of their meat and veg. And the good news is we can be more like Europe. But unfortunately, right now our policies seem to be making it even harder on all our farmers. American soybean farmers have been hit hard by Trump's trade war.

Cattle, ranchers, are, furious, over President Trump's plans to bring down beef prices by bringing in more from other countries.

You're, telling, me, the, president, is disappointing beef boys and soy boys? That's practically all the boys. So, Mr. President, please live up to your pro-farmer rhetoric. Help us refocus America's agriculture on things that mother nature would recognize and not the producers of high fructose corn syrup. We can change our approach to food to make it more like actual food. We can change our approach to farming to reflect respect for farmers and for the animals we consume. We can have a system. Yes, we can have a system that lives up to the words of America's greatest agrarian mind.

I, love, cows. I couldn't agree more. But hey, that's just my opinion.

Questions about this episode

Who speaks in "Nick Offerman: America's Small Farms Are Being Slaughtered by Corporations | The Daily Show"?

Nick Offerman (Host), Donald Trump (Guest), Unidentified News/Documentary Narrator(s) (Guest), Unidentified Fox News Clip Speaker (Guest).

What is discussed in "Nick Offerman: America's Small Farms Are Being Slaughtered by Corporations | The Daily Show"?

In order: 0:00 Ethanol, Nick Offerman, United States (states); 3:00 Cardiovascular Disease, Cargill, National Beef, Twinkie; 6:00 Donald Trump, High Fructose Corn Syrup, Organic Food, Trade War.

What is mentioned in this The Daily Show episode?

19 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Nick Offerman, United States (states), Ethanol, Twinkie, Cargill, National Beef. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "Nick Offerman: America's Small Farms Are Being Slaughtered by Corporations | The Daily Show"?

The episode runs 8 min; the transcript is about 1,073 words in 19 timestamped sections.

More from The Daily Show

About this transcript: the episode's spoken words as captioned on YouTube, split into timestamped sections. Reclip.Me locates every person, work and idea in the text, keeps the time it is first named, and quotes the words around it verbatim. Last updated November 17, 2025.