Transcript
Trump Attacks CNN's Kaitlan Collins Over Epstein Q & Renovates D.C. in His Image | The Daily Show
From The Daily Show · Episode page · Watch on YouTube
· 10 min · 1,607 words · 16 timestamped sections
This is the full, timestamped transcript of "Trump Attacks CNN's Kaitlan Collins Over Epstein Q & Renovates D.C. in His Image | The Daily Show", an episode of The Daily Show published February 5, 2026 (10 min, about 1,607 words). It mentions 8 people, works and ideas, including Donald Trump, Kennedy Center, Jeffrey Epstein, Lincoln Memorial, Grace Kuhlenschmidt.
What this episode is about
The content addresses President Trump's announcement of a new merchandise line amid various national issues, including rising tensions and economic concerns. It highlights his contentious interaction with reporter Kaitlan Collins regarding Jeffrey Epstein's survivors, critiquing Trump's dismissive attitude and the inappropriateness of trivializing serious subjects.
Key takeaways
- When life's a dumpster fire, a fancy hat won't extinguish the flames, but it sure can distract.
- Trump’s big arch might lift spirits, but experts worry it’ll be a monument to poor priorities.
- Buying raspberries for $43? At this rate, they're worth their weight in presidential announcements.
- When government’s a circus, the big top just might as well be a giant arch over D.C.
- A $400 million ballroom? In the Trump era, luxury isn't the question; it's just the ask price.
Who speaks in this episode?
- Trevor Noah (Host) · 7 min speaking
- Grace Kuhlenschmidt (Guest) · 3 min speaking
What is discussed, and when
- – 3:00: Jeffrey Epstein, Donald Trump, Kaitlan Collins, Lincoln Memorial
- – 6:00: Kennedy Center, Donald Trump, Washington Monument, Arc de Triomphe
- – 9:00: Kennedy Center, Donald Trump, Grace Kuhlenschmidt, Lincoln Memorial
- – 10:10: Grace Kuhlenschmidt
Notable quotes from "Trump Attacks CNN's Kaitlan Collins Over Epstein Q & Renovates D.C. in His Image | The Daily Show"
But don't worry, President Trump has an announcement that's going to turn everything around.
about Donald Trump · atThe president has announced his intention to build a giant arch across from the Lincoln Memorial.
about Lincoln Memorial · atI don't-- And as for the arch design, it's basically just copying the Arc de Triomphe.
about Arc de Triomphe · atStrange he's doing this now, since they already renovated the Kennedy Center the last time he was president.
about Kennedy Center · atGrace, what is the point of all this?
about Grace Kuhlenschmidt · at
Who and what is mentioned in this episode?
People
- Donald Trump — Person · Primary referenced political figure / subject of satire · 4 mentions · first at
Central figure driving the episode’s satire: avoids questions about Epstein-related redactions while focusing on vanity construction projects and merch (a new hat). - Jeffrey Epstein — Person · Referenced criminal figure / case at issue · 3 mentions · first at
Referenced as the center of a major sex-trafficking scandal; used to frame questions about redactions and accountability that Trump is portrayed as dodging.A lot of women who were-- are survivors of Epstein's are unhappy with those redactions that came out.
- Grace Kuhlenschmidt — Person · Correspondent / field segment speaker · 2 mentions · first at
Introduced as reporting 'in the nation's capital' and delivers an extended comedic bit interpreting Trump’s building spree as legacy-marking/territorial behavior. - Kaitlan Collins — Person · Referenced reporter asking a question · 2 mentions · first at
Named as the reporter pressing Trump about Epstein-survivor concerns and redactions; becomes the target of Trump’s 'smile' remark in the satire.A lot of women who were-- are survivors of Epstein's are unhappy with those redactions that came out.
Places & events
- Kennedy Center — Place · Setting · 6 mentions · first at
The Kennedy Center is mentioned in the context of President Trump's plans to renovate it, which is part of a broader discussion about his construction projects in Washington, DC. - Lincoln Memorial — Place · Setting · 2 mentions · first at
The Lincoln Memorial is mentioned as the location opposite which President Trump plans to build a giant arch, highlighting his focus on construction projects. - Washington Monument — Place · Setting · 1 mention · first at
The Washington Monument is humorously mentioned in the context of President Trump's arch project, suggesting a fictional marriage between the two structures.And now it's marrying the Washington Monument.
- Arc de Triomphe — Place · Referenced work · 1 mention · first at
The Arc de Triomphe is mentioned as the inspiration for President Trump's proposed giant arch in Washington, DC, critiquing the lack of originality in the design.
Full transcript with timestamps
It's no secret that things have not been great in the old US of A lately. Government shock troops are rampaging through the streets. Billionaires are stripping our last remaining news outlets for parts. And I just bought a pint of raspberries that cost $43. But don't worry, President Trump has an announcement that's going to turn everything around. America is back. It's a new hat. We just came out. America is back. Americ-- America is back. Thanks for that inspiring halftime speech, Coach. Team, I know we're down 55 to 0.
But on the other hand, I made a hat. Hope that helps. Good luck in the second half. It's bad enough they release hats as often as iPhone updates, but it doesn't even look like Trump's heart is in this one. Can someone ask him a fun question to cheer him up a bit? And please, make sure it's not about a subject that he's desperately trying to avoid. A lot of women who were-- are survivors of Epstein's are unhappy with those redactions that came out. Some of them, entire witness interviews are totally blacked out. Kaitlan Collins, ixnay on the dead edophile-pay.
This is supposed to be a fun merch drop! Trying to hold the president to account is really killing the vibe here. Mr. President, why don't you answer the question in the dignified and respectful manner that we've come to expect. You know, she's a young woman. I don't think I've ever seen you smile. I've known you for 10 years. I don't think I've ever seen a smile on your face. Well, I'm asking you about survivors of Jeffrey Epstein's. You know why-- you know why you're not smiling? Because you know you're not telling the truth.
Damn. That is messed up. Can I talk to the president alone for just a second? Hey, DJ, a few thoughts, all right? I don't know if there's ever a time to tell a reporter to smile, but I'm almost positive it's not when she's asking you about sex trafficking victims. I mean, even-- [CHEERS APPLAUSE] --even if she did smile, would that make it better. Hey, I'd like to ask you about that pedophile ring. But to be fair to the president, he's really tired of being asked all these questions that he refuses to answer. I think it's really time for the country to get on to something else.
Yeah, yeah, of course you want to move on to something else. I would, too, if I was in the Epstein files thousands of times. I feel the same way when the IRS tries to audit me. Hey, guys, I appreciate your interest, but me and my business jacuzzi are ready to move on. But you know what? Donald Trump is right about one thing. There are a lot of other important issues to focus on. Like what, exactly? The president has announced his intention to build a giant arch across from the Lincoln Memorial. Whee! I'm the president!
My arch is going to fly! And now it's fighting Godzilla! Grr! And now it's telling Barbie to smile. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! And now it's marrying the Washington Monument. Oh yeah. Oh! Uh uh. [KISSY SOUNDS] Is that what you guys laugh at, stuff like that? [KISSING SOUNDS] OK, so the president has decided to spend his time building a giant arch. How giant are we talking? The Washington Post reports it could stand as high as 250 feet, just 40 shorter than the US Capitol. Two people say he's grown attached to the idea, despite some architectural experts being alarmed by the scale.
I'd like it to be the biggest one of all. Wow! Get excited, people. Trump is building Washington, DC's hottest suicide destination. First off, it's never good when the architectural experts use the word "alarmed." And secondly, do we need the world's biggest arch? This is how you can tell Trump doesn't live with Melania full time, because this is one of those ideas men have when they're home alone for too long. Whenever my wife goes away, two days into her trip I'm like, actually, you know, we do need a skate park in this living room.
I don't-- And as for the arch design, it's basically just copying the Arc de Triomphe. And honestly, if we're going to be derivative of France, let's not just settle for their arches. How about socialized health care? Or even better, the right to-- yeah. [CHEERS APPLAUSE] Or even better, the right to start a riot when your boss emails you after 5:00 PM. But-- but fine, I guess go build your arch. Then we can get back to those important issues that you are so eager for America to return to. So what do you got? President Trump announcing he will shut down the Kennedy Center for two years for a top to bottom renovation.
Ugh! No! Trump is shutting down the Kennedy Center for two years? But I promised my wife we'd go see the Bulgarian National Modern Jazz Dance Company. Damn you, Trump. Strange he's doing this now, since they already renovated the Kennedy Center the last time he was president. There can't be another reason he wants to shut it down for two years, right? Right? Right? That planned closure is coming after a slew of artists canceled performances once the president purged the Kennedy Center's board, naming himself chairman and putting his own name on the building.
Ah yeah. He "decided" to close the Kennedy Center the same way your friend who collects dolls "decided" to become celibate. Come on, Trump, you can replace those performers. There's plenty of great conservative artists, like Nicki Minaj, and Kanye West, and I'm sure someone else will also have a mental breakdown soon. Also, hasn't the Kennedy family been through enough-- the assassinations, the scandals, spending Thanksgiving with RFK Jr.? (RFK JR IMPERSONATION) Instead of turkey, I spatchcocked a raccoon. But fine, I'll give you the arch and I'll give you the Kennedy Center.
Just, please, for the love of God, stop building stuff and focus on your actual job. The president has shared what he calls the first public rendering of the future White House ballroom. The estimated cost of the project has skyrocketed from $200 million to now $400 million. Oh, that's right, the ballroom. I mean, I-- I guess it doesn't suck. But for $400 million, it's definitely not blowing me away. I mean, who designed this thing, Frank Lloyd Just All Right? Architecture slam! Let's sum up how we got here. The president of the United States is in the Oval Office, insulting professional reporters for asking about his administration's mishandling of the highest profile sex trafficking case in American history.
And instead of answering these questions, he'd rather spend his time on his construction fetish of building his arch, a new Kennedy Center, and a giant ballroom he and his friends can dance in while the rest of the country collapses around them. Or, in other words-- America is back. God, that enthusiasm is infectious. For more on the president's makeover of Washington, we go to Grace Kuhlenschmidt in the nation's capital. [CHEERS APPLAUSE] Grace, please tell me they are going to be done with all this soon. Absolutely Michael.
After that arch and the Kennedy Center, they're going to be all done. - Great. Phew. Awesome. Psych! This is just the beginning, honey! Just you wait till they see what they got planned. They are going to build a small statue of Trump to sit on the lap of the Lincoln Memorial. Then Trump is going to add a second dome on the Capitol-- because, you know, boobies. And every name on the Vietnam Memorial wall is getting Trump added to it. - Wait. Whoa. That seems really disrespectful. Oh, how dare you say that about the thousands of Trumps who have died for this country?
Grace, what is the point of all this? Why does he keep building stuff all over DC? Well, Trump is very invested in his legacy. He wants to make his mark on the city's territory so people will always remember that he was there. Mark his territory? You're making him sound like a dog. Yes exactly. Donald Trump is just like a dog. Specifically one of those dogs that got too inbred and now has all these weird health problems. Like, I didn't even know a dog could get cankles. OK, so-- so he's going to spend his entire term putting up buildings around DC like a dog who pisses all over the neighborhood?
No. Eventually, he will run out of ideas for buildings. OK, thank God. Yeah. And then he will actually start pissing all over DC. Why would he do that? Because he's a good boy. He is President Good Boy. And that's his spot, and that's his spot, and that's his spot. Grace, he can't just pee on everything in DC. He'll run out of pee. No! No, he's 80 years old. It's like a water bottle in a hamster's cage down there. There's always a little bit dripping off the tip. Oh, my god. Grace that's-- --Grace, that's-- that's really upsetting.
The country's falling apart, and the president is spending his time lifting his hind leg and spraying a fine mist of pee all over our beloved Capitol? I got to tell you, this is making me depressed. Well, you being depressed is making the rest of us depressed. Could you try smiling a bit more? Fair. Hey Grace Kuhlenschmidt everyone.
Questions about this episode
Who speaks in "Trump Attacks CNN's Kaitlan Collins Over Epstein Q & Renovates D.C. in His Image | The Daily Show"?
Trevor Noah (Host), Grace Kuhlenschmidt (Guest).
What is "Trump Attacks CNN's Kaitlan Collins Over Epstein Q & Renovates D.C. in His Image | The Daily Show" about?
The content addresses President Trump's announcement of a new merchandise line amid various national issues, including rising tensions and economic concerns. It highlights his contentious interaction with reporter Kaitlan Collins regarding Jeffrey Epstein's survivors, critiquing Trump's dismissive attitude and the inappropriateness of trivializing serious subjects.
What is mentioned in this The Daily Show episode?
8 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Donald Trump, Kennedy Center, Jeffrey Epstein, Lincoln Memorial, Grace Kuhlenschmidt, Kaitlan Collins. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.
How long is "Trump Attacks CNN's Kaitlan Collins Over Epstein Q & Renovates D.C. in His Image | The Daily Show"?
The episode runs 10 min; the transcript is about 1,607 words in 16 timestamped sections.
More from The Daily Show
About this transcript: the episode's spoken words as captioned on YouTube, split into timestamped sections. Reclip.Me locates every person, work and idea in the text, keeps the time it is first named, and quotes the words around it verbatim. Last updated February 5, 2026.