Transcript

Hour 1: Cock Commander 💥 The Dan Le Batard Show 2022 💥 Top Podcasts In Sports

From The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz · Episode page · Watch on YouTube

· 50 min · 8,327 words · 49 timestamped sections

This is the full, timestamped transcript of "Hour 1: Cock Commander 💥 The Dan Le Batard Show 2022 💥 Top Podcasts In Sports", an episode of The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz published August 25, 2022 (50 min, about 8,327 words). It mentions 9 people, works and ideas, including Spencer Hall, Dan Le Batard, Hobby Lobby, Robert Redford, Florida State.

What this episode is about

This content features a lively discussion on the Dan Le Batard Show, highlighting the excitement of college football season, including betting promotions from DraftKings Sportsbook. The conversation takes a humorous turn as the hosts delve into the controversial film "Splice," exploring its unconventional themes and shocking moments.

Key takeaways

  • Betting on college football? It’s a marathon, not a sprint—turn that five bucks into two hundred with DraftKings!
  • Duquesne's past Orange Bowl win proves that even underdogs can redefine 'football history'—hope is a powerful motivator!
  • College football's week zero: the sport's equivalent of a pre-game warm-up—or just an excuse for more gambling?
  • Being a Miami fan means wearing costumes and embracing chaos; it’s less fandom, more lifestyle choice. Who needs consistency?
  • Tennessee's struggle to recruit talent proves that sometimes, even the name 'Volunteers' can't attract top players—ouch!

Who speaks in this episode?

What is discussed, and when

  1. – 5:00: DraftKings Sportsbook, Spencer Hall, Dan Le Batard, Florida State
  2. – 10:00: Hobby Lobby
  3. – 15:00: Hobby Lobby
  4. – 30:00: DraftKings Sportsbook, Dan Le Batard
  5. – 35:00: Robert Redford, Chad Pennington
  6. – 40:00: Kristen Scott Thomas, Robert Redford
  7. – 49:57: Spencer Hall

Notable quotes from "Hour 1: Cock Commander 💥 The Dan Le Batard Show 2022 💥 Top Podcasts In Sports"

  • Thank you this episode is brought to you by our best friends at DraftKings Sportsbook college football is back and it's time to enjoy the tradition the fun and the great offers from DraftKings Sportsbook.
    about DraftKings Sportsbook · at
  • Alphabet record playing in the background that's an amazing way to start the show I am Spencer Hall of the shutdown full cast and several other properties including Meadowlark…
    about Spencer Hall · at
  • Decaying again okay yeah just the one school I can remember that's playing right Florida State Duquesne I'm doing that for the Miami people who are like today I get to like…
    about Florida State · at
  • I really hope they've tried to steal something else if you're not familiar Hobby Lobby a small craft store that eventually formed into one of the world's biggest theft thieves…
    about Hobby Lobby · at
  • All right I don't want to be too extreme on this but he failed America stugots okay very good this is the Dan Le batard show with these two guards we are presented by…
    about Dan Le Batard · at
  • People out there who always are going to be smarter than them you look at the Jets and you say who's the Chad Pennington for this time and age they don't have one Katie I think that's the problem that's the problem Katie.
    about Chad Pennington · at
  • On WFA and walked in to find them watching The Horse Whisperer Carlin started to speak but they shushed him on the screen Robert Redford was breaking up with Kristen Scott Thomas when the scene was over Russo said solemnly.
    about Robert Redford · at

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

  • Spencer Hall — Person · Main speaker / guest co-host · 2 mentions · first at
    Introduces himself as part of the Shutdown Fullcast and participates throughout the comedic college-football-and-pop-culture riffing.
  • Dan Le Batard — Person · Host / show namesake (referenced) · 2 mentions · first at
    The episode is framed as part of The Dan Le Batard Show universe (including ad promo code and show intro), anchoring the program identity even when others are speaking.
  • Robert Redford — Person · Referenced actor/director (anecdote anchor) · 2 mentions · first at
    Appears in a quoted New Yorker profile anecdote about Mike Francesa and Mad Dog Russo watching 'The Horse Whisperer,' used to illustrate sports-talk-radio personalities.
  • Kristen Scott Thomas — Person · Referenced actor (anecdote anchor) · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned alongside Robert Redford in the 'Horse Whisperer' anecdote quoted from a New Yorker profile, reinforcing the comedic contrast of sports-radio talk framed like sports analysis.
    Watching The Horse Whisperer Carlin started to speak but they shushed him on the screen Robert Redford was breaking up with Kristen Scott Thomas when the scene was over Russo said solemnly Mikey he had to do it he had to do it.
  • Adrian Brody — Person · Referenced actor (pop-culture example) · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned in a discussion of the film 'Splice' as part of an opening comedic tangent about human/animal hybrid movies.
    Trying to think of the first human animal hybrid movie that came to mind and it turns out to be one where Adrian Brody ends up trying to Bone the human animal hybrid he's been…
  • Chad Pennington — Person · Referenced athlete (analogy) · 1 mention · first at
    Used as a reference point in a sports-radio style birthday-call bit about the Jets lacking a 'Chad Pennington' type quarterback.

Companies & orgs

  • Hobby Lobby — Company · Case study · 7 mentions · first at
    Discussed for its controversial practices and cultural impact.
  • Florida State — Company · Referenced expert · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned in the context of college football discussions.

Sponsors

  • DraftKings Sportsbook — Company · Sponsor · 3 mentions · first at
    Primary sponsor of the podcast episode, promoting college football betting offers.

Full transcript with timestamps

foreign thank you this episode is brought to you by our best friends at DraftKings Sportsbook college football is back and it's time to enjoy the tradition the fun and the great offers from DraftKings Sportsbook to celebrate the best time of the year right now new customers can bet just five dollars on any team and get 200 in free bets instantly win or lose if that's not enough you can also place the same game parlay for a shot at an even bigger payout just combine multiple bets into one like which team will get the win which team to score first and more DraftKings a safe secure and reliable best of all you can deposit and withdraw your cash whenever you want download the DraftKings sports book app now use promo code Dan batches five dollars on college football and get 200 in free bets instantly that's code Dan only at DraftKings Sportsbook 21 plus and most eligible States but age varies by

jurisdiction eligibility restriction Supply see draftkings.com Sportsbook for terms and resources gambling problem call 1-800 Gambler in Tennessee call or text the Tennessee red line at 1-800-889-9789 in New York call 877 or text Hope NY 467-360 nine one Purdue customer minimum five dollar deposit and wager 200 issued as eight twenty five dollar free bets

to the Dan Le batard Show podcast full cast we're doing a hybrid thing everybody always always crisp always landed it straight on the carrier all three all three pieces of landing gear down have you guys seen splice the movie no okay yeah that's probably a good thing it's probably a good thing I was trying to think of the first human animal hybrid movie that came to mind and it turns out to be one where Adrian Brody uh ends up trying to Bone the human animal hybrid he's been raising as his own daughter this is exactly what I wanted to talk about this somehow skated under the radar that's is this the movie where she just looked at him and goes inside you yes oh okay I do remember that I do for all of the wrong reasons like there's an alphabet record playing in the background that's an amazing amazing way to start the show I am Spencer Hall of the shutdown full cast and several other properties including uh Meadowlark media

is not dnf with Jessica's Matana he's carrying all of you sons of [ __ ] back there on her back uh the world's best F1 podcast this we are members of the internet's only college football podcast which is why they have us here today ahead of week zero in college football the sport so good that we have a week that doesn't even really count a week so good where we do what most restaurants do four of those what are you talking about no no no listen the NFL doesn't put Duquesne out there what if they could tell me they wouldn't if they could we're doing decaying again again okay yeah just the one school I can remember that's playing right Florida State Duquesne I'm doing that for the Miami people who are like today I get to like blatantly Pander to Kane's fans which is awesome it means I don't have players on the air I don't have to know anything that the Bears would beat Duquesne I am not yeah beat yes but not score on somehow

by reader James Coleman 46 minutes ago that the last time Duquesne played an FBS school in Florida they won the Orange Bowl bet accordingly yeah whatever the line is y'all DraftKings I'll I'll quote I'll quote Mike Ruiz here that's a lot of points that's my favorite that's my favorite microwave lies whatever it comes up on a line he's like that's a lot of points it's always a lot of points especially when you're a Miami fan you don't have to know anything you don't have to know anything to buy it it's like I'm not making fun of you I am jealous of your freedom you could just enter Kane's fandom with a hand sign and enthusiasm Vibes only sometimes you need a costume sometimes that's what they wear all the time is like hey you need to dress up like Indiana Jones but in Miami colors for some reason sometimes you need to be a storm trooper yeah a storm trooper with Mardi Gras Flair yeah because you know you just got

out of the academy but you want to keep it festive yeah what Academy I think you need that and you need a system that judges all college football teams based on how many NFL Pro Bowlers they later produced like you have to retroactively assign national championships based on that I should start thinking about adopting that program or or not it's a very early chunks it's so early for you to start this [ __ ] with me it was fine I got Michael Felder going on television and saying Tennessee's going to win 10 games this year I don't need this that's your playoff pick that's not my fault it doesn't matter that matter is coming anyway you're on this team you should explain for people who are new to this program that we picked our playoff teams by Rolling a 20-sided die and I got my alma mater nope we picked them based on uh what our uh Sirius personal analysis our actual sincere opinions yeah

proprietary stats pick is Vanderbilt that's correct yeah that's true if you want those proprietary stats subscribe to channel 6 the newsletter ten dollars a month for the most complicated statistical analysis guaranteed to get you gambling winnings description not legal may not apply to set website the state of Tennessee is kind of like a football vacuum and therefore it's sucking in all the football Talent all the football goodness from the surrounding states I'm gonna turn you upside down and Shake you there's nothing there Ryan you've made the first ever argument that like Tennessee can recruit in the modern era like there's not a lot of talent being sucked toward Tennessee here okay this is actually I think you may have accidentally stumbled onto an explanation I can't believe we're gonna of how several programs manage to be historically great because if you look across the history of college football

look at the teams that have been good in the sort of pre-modern modern era since 1950 most of them are places that have had negative population growth or that you do not want to go or have other serious issues uh societally culturally and economically so let's just go ahead and look at the great programs uh Nebraska my point proves itself a vast sucking noise somewhere in Nebraska Drew talent to Lincoln for over 30 to 40 Years of success oh people just love the tri-cameral legislature my dude people love it I'm sorry I'm gonna I'm gonna derail this completely because talk of my home state makes me Twitch uh Hobby Lobby's trending again today yes one of our I think steel Hobby Lobby what did you see I'm not gonna look at it I'm just gonna say speaking of Indiana Jones um I really hope they've tried to steal something else if you're not familiar Hobby Lobby a small craft store that eventually formed into one of the

world's biggest theft thieves of antiquity one of the biggest crime rings when it came to stealing the treasures of Sumeria Babylon and other ancient empires that's what the American dream is I started a small craft shop so that we could steal the Antiquities of ancient Eurasia am I jealous that we didn't think of this first kinda I hope whatever they stole was French so that we get to hear a bunch of French officials go Obi Libby it looks like they are trending because they are openly calling for a theocracy and Crystal fascism oh that's no I liked it more when they did it subtly by like raiding Antiquity live laugh Leviticus that's what I've got on my wall I how would you think like okay listen I'd buy a print of Gilgamesh if it was in that live laugh love font I think yeah I would do I would buy all kinds of sports quotes if you could put them in because Leviticus is sports right what if we

went through every Locker man going through all the locker rooms in the off season and just changing all the quotes on the wall to sorority fonts oh yes oh my gosh I'm sorry the new font is now it's like an all caps uh very tall lettering like and it's all all in all these mugs at Hobby Lobby oh it kind of looks like Among Us right yeah like it's like the Among Us it's like blessed like I was I was at home because the other day and it was like on this plate and it was like taco dirty to me and like there's a new font the sorority font it's no longer swoopy it's very straight and very narrow and it's on all okay okay they're saving the swoopy for the custom neon signs thank you for reminding me of the greatest piece of signage I've ever seen in one of these establishments this was in Leeds Alabama so I don't know how it didn't get burned to the ground because this is Auburn country but it says and as for me and my

house we will serve tacos foreign Goods trips are you making in a month um it's almost Halloween yeah it Halloween stuff came out last month actually the end of July so I have been oh we've never talked about this on the air we have we have similar interests here the giant are you talking about our giant friend no I'm talking about 17 annual trips to buy Halloween decorations at low low prices I love Halloween I will go ape [ __ ] for candy corn colored cupcake holders for a Halloween colored sprinkles for anything with a skull on it or a skeleton are you a are you a big fan of the neighbor who just puts out murder there's inevitably one person in the neighborhood who just decides that I'm gonna put a crime scene in my front yard because that's what I've always wanted and I'm gonna call it Halloween just calls it practice foreign Hey listen if you had a kill room and you had a live laugh love think you'd

laugh right like if you woke up in someone's kill room and you're like ah what's the point of having a kill room and not enjoying it yeah like if Dexter got you but you look up this guy sucked he took no pleasure in this right like why is there a Nespresso in this kill room he didn't level thoughtful of them he didn't love the game like you're about you're about Dexter didn't have the want to you're about to get slaughtered by the County's most prolific serial killer and you look up and they've just got like a couple of really nice neon like you know swoopy you know Joy you look you look at me you're like oh I talked to him before he had his coffee that's why this has happened happening it's always about matters there if I'd just been polite out oh Hobby Lobby took out a full page uh newspaper man that's festive chickens the penis of Napoleon we would like to request this artifact back it is very important

honestly I don't know how many curious Imperial penis wait like a physical anchor or like a psychic anchor a boat yeah we have exiled him through his um horcox somebody is yesterday in the control room are we in trouble God Napoleon's penis sponsors this segment this is the second episode this week where we're gonna get into weird Ghostbusters sexual theatrics welcome to week zero of college football season oh yes that's definitely what we're here to talk about Hobby Lobby by the way buys Antiquities because as uh buys you buys I'm convinced they're doing that because what they're trying to do is take out the competition if they are really think about it they crap they're into two things crafts and extremely extremely enthusiastic Evangelical Christianity so if they're into those two things what are they going to need to Corner the market on other religions and crafts what are like what's the Apex

of crafts that's right ancient relics they're just going to acquire it all okay I'm gonna I'm gonna say one thing in their defense devil's advocate here wow I think any no hang on hang on hang on I'm going somewhere with this I think anybody anywhere should be able to steal Antiquities from England and it's not a crime that's fair under International backseats protocol absolutely I like I like the idea that Michaels is the less accomplished little brother store to Hobby Lobby so they're trying to steal ancient texts but they're all forged Joanne Fabrics once a word Michaels is also the lapsed Catholic of of craft stores nope let's let's hope let's unpack this girl yeah where it's like yeah I'm still unpacking a lot of [ __ ] literally and emotionally yeah I'm here at Michael's trying to take up I've got these this wire and these blocks of foam I'm going to figure it all out so all those

framing coupons are really just cries for help yeah I go to church on Christmas on Christmas with my parents but I don't take communion because I'm just not into it anymore see and so many like Catholic heavy parts of Europe this makes you a totally fine Catholic see I think the actual reason why Hobby Lobby is going after these relics is because they are anti-crafts like if you think about relics the whole thing about a relic is that it's one of one well unless it's like a Saint's finger in which case it's one of ten but still that's extremely limited edition these are the original nfts um but non-fungible toes is what they were called back in the day so Ryan you're saying um Hobby Lobby is being extremely anti-catholic by attempting to remove relics from the marketplace like if people the more people spend on relics the less they will spend on crafts that we can make thousands of um it's the only anti-catholic you don't

want to be into these like oh I have like this this I have the only copy of this thing and it's like no we want you to we want to sell a thousand of these unfair slander I am not and I am not anti-catholic Church there's so many relics that are like they're they're kind of are a thousand of them yeah right exactly like and I think another thing by the way I'm not anti-catholic because again that's a throwback to an earlier episode I was just trying to shoe warn it in okay they don't know that I I know you know that's what makes it funny oh uh Spencer I have a quick question for you yes would you like to play my favorite game Guess the fake musical yes I would uh I have two rounds of this game I don't have an air horn this morning so the way it works for everybody uh who hasn't listened to this game before I'm going to read a synopsis of three musicals two of them are real like Broadway real not three shows in

Tucson real one of them is fake and I made it up and Spencer has to guess which one is fake he is surprisingly good at this for somebody who hates musical theater except somebody who says he hates musical theater but he loves wrestling I'm deeply embarrassed by it yeah okay all right are you ready you've seen Les Mis like five times round one is that right Sterling or musical theater oh no musical theater is deeply embarrassing wrestling is divine wrestling is the highest form of art yeah and embarrassing round one here are your three choices identify the fake musical please okay show one van ghost after suffering severe pneumonia Paul Cezanne lies on the brink of death he slips in and out of Consciousness reflecting on his career until he is visited by the ghost of a contemporary Vincent van Gogh who implores him to recover and create one last painting can I just pause can I pause you for a

second like I know that if it were real that would really like it would suck and I would hate sitting through it that is such an awesome idea that is so metal like for a musical or for real life both it's so awesome like if that happened to me if I was like dying and you know Vincent van Gogh popped up and was like hey bro I feel like this is the best thing that ever happened so excited show two into the light James Prescott a physicist from Los Alamos is attempting to prove or disprove the truth of the Shroud of Turin his obsession with his task strains his relationship with his wife and his young son okay show 3 milk and honey the story of a busload of lonely American widows hoping to catch husbands while touring Israel set against the backdrop of the country's struggle for recognition as an independent nation I'm gonna say that uh two two is the Fault is the fake musical into the light the one about the Shroud

of Turin no that sounds real I'm gonna go the first one the first one van ghost van Gogh's is the fake musical great job wow damn how does he do this I do it every time pardon me hang on oh I got the trumpet Fanfare it's the lebat show now baby alive that's the Shroud of Turin now yeah what kind of songs do you sing about like doing academics on the Shroud of Turin it doesn't matter yes yeah you can you can it's amazing I made a bad song about anything I I I'm I'm uh I'm familiar with this world so like I I guess the idea of writing songs about like we're testing the freaking DNA and what have you on this Ancient Ancient garment oh here let me see if I can find some of the songs I mean I guess they're addressing this park song so like DNA music isn't that weird uh let's see here are some of the musical numbers I'm just going to tell you the titles the data oh yeah oh yeah to measure the darkness

there are several songs called the testing this is the nerdiest musical yeah this is not this isn't great this is AP musical played 13 previews and closed after six performances why Spencer do you want to do round two of this there's only two rounds today okay yeah I can I know I'll nail around two let's go okay here are your three musicals via Galactica a futuristic story of social outcasts living on an asteroid in the year 2972 one of them is a space sanitation man who collects trash in a garbage ship called the Helen of Troy no that one's real I'm just gonna call it that would be absolutely real man on the moon an American asparties to prevent the destruction of the universe by a bomb that has been placed on the Moon by an evil scientist awesome and number three cosmonaut chivago a young newly married Russian doctor is drafted into the Bolshevik space militia falls in love with an Intergalactic

traveler and saves a space colony from destruction with poetry so it's such a sick plot which one is that's so awesome and I bet it sucks so hard I'm gonna say the second one because it's the least crazy uh man on the moon was real it was that's the first one you've gotten wrong it was written by that's so boring one of the one of the one of The Mamas and the Papas singers Andy Warhol was the producer that's why it's ass yeah closed after two performances with horrible reviews Cosmonaut Zhivago is the fake musical wow that should be real that's that's that's great work Ryan because that one is about like The Power of Words we'll save the universe which is the type of [ __ ] writers right oh 100 yes yes good that's very sneaky the only thing that would make it more musical is this we need to work New York because remember every musical has this blatant suck up to New York number space New

York right even space New York it's the greatest place in the world we found a planet that's nothing but New York singing to New Yorkers and people who are here because it's New York what happens in Super Mario Odyssey it does Super Mario Odyssey is a musical but yeah you should write that the end of it is a musical oh my gosh Coruscant is just space New York yeah that's all it is and look what happens yeah it went great what happens by the Jedi or DJs it now has become space New Mexico we just test bombs on it was it was it space Texas before space down maybe it's like space El Paso and then God's space Dallas would be Grim space Vegas I know it was supposed to be like it is yeah like space Vegas was in uh the Death Star is space Dallas Fort Worth airport I would argue well like God it's nothing but Halls how long have we said that Dallas is just Nashville with more Office Buildings that is the

Death Star I think the the the exhaust Port that saves the day that's Fort Worth guys yeah is not space Vegas it's space Monaco get it right thank you for the correction we have we have got it is long past time this show started getting some live jackets you couldn't you you couldn't get like a 64 ounce beer in cannabite right like that's probably not happening none of us have good radio voices bb-8 is kind of shaped like a a party ball rolling cake oh man if you could tap bb-8 like if they just did that like you know they've done that um now I want to see bb-8 drunk what you really should do is using cocktails okay like you don't want to put beer in BBA but you could definitely use him as like a well r2d who serves drinks on Java's party barge remember this is he making them or is he just no he's got a little drinks hell yeah he's a little trouble yeah he's getting people trashed right

because think about that when Jabba gets drunk when Jabba dies he's definitely hammered like he's definitely trashed off his ass when he dies right and getting choked by a lady in a bikini which I like 30 of the guys watching that movie are like that's way to go Jerry Jones watched this and he was like that's I'm gonna live my whole life like I'll go get there whole life a lot of guys watch that and said I'm gonna become a hutch I don't have an empty hole that I dropped my enemies into that eats them does bb-8 count as a vehicle if so is he able to uh you can't ride him well like is he able to transport himself while intoxicated can he operate himself while filled with alcohol can robots get DUI is your question yeah I realize this is very like this oh man Asimov level spiritual questions just goes this goes straight into whether robots have free will oh robots definitely in Star Wars Universe have free will R2D2 is just

like an enormous [ __ ] for most people is aware of his free will but denies it he's very calvinist yes he's like kind of resents that he has free will uh what's the name of the the robot in Star Wars Rebels who uh who is absolutely the demonstration that there is Free Will and it could be malicious Chopper Chopper thank you 110p yeah Chopper commits murder you did that okay now it's attempted murder because it's not exactly successful uh because he a rival robot shows up and actually does his job well and the crew expressed their satisfaction and affection for this Droid and the droids like I think I got your job Chopper and they're overlooking like a beautiful planet that they're leaving but an open hatch a chopper is like boom and just knocks him out and just just kills him because he was going to take his job like they have free will and they can be malicious Chopper mix R2D2 look very congenial

correct he's an [ __ ] Chopper is an [ __ ] man I love Chopper Choppers Chopper's the dream what do you do I do my job poorly and then I I take out 10 000 Stormtroopers at once tougher makes R2 R2 look like the footstool of the bourgeoisie running dog of the Rebel Alliance all right so wait if robots in the Star Wars Universe have free will does that mean like is ig88 a bounty hunter because he loves it yeah man Love of the Game okay he's do you have to pay robots in the Star Wars universe yeah yeah ic88 takes credits man right but like does 3PO have money if he does he's just an idiot but he's like very aristocratic and futile like you know like paying him with like honor and dignity and [ __ ] he likes that he thinks that's that's currency you know yeah there were some labor issues here I'm not comfortable with yeah well like the the the lady robot in uh in Solo right like if her and threepio were to

have a debate she would she would radicalize him in seconds sure yeah yeah I don't know about that I feel like he he'd snitch her out like he'd go along with it then he'd turn around and say hey humans this one over here is trying to organize an uprising he would three three pository right at heart like he's one of those guys he's one of those guys like apply maids to a problem when he Stormtrooper and and he's like oh uh we're not doing anything we're just uh please don't bother us in no way is he like oh you I'm gonna [ __ ] you up no he's like he's had his moments like whenever they change a color of like uh put a red limb on him or put a uh put a Droid hat head on him he's had some murder moments or when they do his reverse his programming like in the last uh in the Skywalker rides a Skywalker and now all of a sudden he's got Sith programming so he's gonna talk like this show every week because none of the rest

of us have radio voices yeah no me neither I do you know I do like that people confuse you for Charlie day that's good Ryan I think you've circled all the way around to you like you do have a radio voice yeah it's yours alone it says a lot about radio I mean have you ever heard mad dog Russo that like that man is not making I mean we have radio voices we just don't deploy them yeah you sound like the guy on ESPN who constantly gets embarrassed by athletes cool the job brother awesome check's clear check's clear not for me they don't that's how you doing I don't like it that's how you know I ended up working for the Empire checks clear brother that's what I should do I should be like that's gonna be my new side gig it's like hey does your kid want a birthday call from Chris Mad Dog Russo well I'll do it for twenty dollars like slightly angry dog Sleepy Dog less mad dog hello listening audience it's Mike Ryan

and if you can believe it or not I am presently laying out by the pool that's right catching some rays and drinking some ice cold Miller Light it's a beer you know you're craving the one that's light on calories but not on Flavor why don't you reach for a Miller Lite to help supplement those summer memories we only have a limited time left in this summer why not enjoy it with a 12 ounce serving that contains just 96 calories and 3.2 carbs enjoy a guilt-free beer All Summer Long a light beer that actually tastes like beer a beer that is brewed with a beer lover like you in mind the next time you're getting ready to enjoy cold ones with a crew or even by yourself outside go to millerlife.com forward slash Dan to find some delivery options near you or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer it's Miller time celebrate responsibly Miller Brewing Company Milwaukee Wisconsin 96 calories and 3.2

carbs per 12 ounces all right I don't want to be too extreme on this but he failed America stugots okay very good this is the Dan Le batard show with these two guards we are presented by DraftKings Sportsbook an official sports betting partner of the NFL download the DraftKings Sportsbook app today and use code Dan for a special offer when you sign up that's code Dan only at DraftKings Sportsbook here's the okay real quick media personalities you would give to uh whose birthday calls you would give to a child whose parents you don't like Francesa Francesca number one with a bullet who am I calling yeah does it really work does it work without the dichotomy though because he works as a solo act Katie happy eighth birthday uh parents do in the face too it's good shocking shocking a Diet Coke though the whole time it should I think they should trade Aaron judge you know uh I would send I would send Pablo Tori because children

need to know that there are going to be people out there who always are going to be smarter than them you look at the Jets and you say who's the Chad Pennington for this time and age they don't have one Katie I think that's the problem that's the problem Katie uh it starts with a Chad Paddington either have it or you don't uh I'd get ray Hudson I'd get ray Hudson to call a kid because that'd be terrifying right messy just into the phone genius El Mago let's go all the way and get Mike Breen then um by the way Mike francese is a reminder that like when you figure out what people actually like regionally it always embarrasses the place I had no idea who Mike Francesa was until I was like 35 and then I realized until that profile came until then until that profile oh God it's we will get to that just read just read the whole thing aloud like a bedtime story I will read that because we need to discuss that at

all times every day the best profile that the New Yorker ever put out and the only one I think is relevant to any Sports Talk Radio is the profile of Mad Dog and Francesca that they did detailing their relationship in particular the two of them watching The Horse Whisperer the Robert Redford film like together in a hotel room yes watching it together in a hotel room I will get to that um once I look it up here on my phone but I I watched that and I was like oh yeah New York ain't [ __ ] like there's it's just a place if this is what y'all are listening to all day if this man makes money doing things I was like we have this guy too he could read the phone book as well on air and his listen to some guy from Queens just go like yeah I don't know uh Brandon Jacobs is the greatest radio back I've ever okay I'll talk to you later that's it I'm describing like the reverse of like someone from DC

discovering Paul Finebaum is a big deal correct man correct which fine bomb is a big deal birthday because it'd just be like hey SEC network honk Spencer Punk says Paul Finebaum is a big deal can you make money can you make as much money as that man has made saying 32 words an hour this is what I make as much money in any way if my mom opens the mic and goes we've got the captain from Jackson captain for seven minutes yeah that's the that's the topic not an accident that he looks like the saw puppet with the mask off thanks for calling the man the man could play par with words on an hour if you set that part like 150 we'd be fine unless he talks the only time he'll do is if he's bored and he calls somebody that he's just like I really don't want to talk about football what more books you're reading that's when fine bomb will talk what war books are we reading guys I am uh look up your war books I'm going

to read this that is from a New Yorker profile called the boys read the part about the horses I'm confident we have read this on the show at least twice I don't care I'm gonna read it again no it's new to everyone here okay and it's uh by Nick palmgarten who is the greatest profile writer of all time because he had this idea and in addition he caught this moment between the two of them when they are having a rare moment of togetherness the joke is that the two of them actually do not like they're not real friends right they don't like hang a lot like us um exactly like us so let me get to this I will find it I am definitely killing time here while I scroll and find the right line I just found out at Mike Francesa did a year at USF in Tampa before transferring back to New York oh that's a musical what the hell if you went to college with Mike Francesa for one year in Tampa please email me I just want to sound off in the

comments what the hell what the hell was was Mike Francesa doing in 1974 done running founding the Tampa Bay Buccaneers that's what it was yes do you think he thinks about Tampa like Rio that's what like some people from the Northeast think about Tampa they're like God it's like Rio de Janeiro down there Ryan you're a native yep just tits out all day in Tampa that's got just enough alliteration in it to pass for a Civic slogan underneath it that's tits out all day in town that's why Tampa's Tampa's Tampa's acrostic is towed tits out all day Spencer's still scrolling so I'm going to tell about my favorite uh my favorite City Civic sign um none of you are golfers right Silence has anybody besides me ever been to abandoned Dunes has anybody been abandoned in Oregon where Bandon dunes's famous golf course no all right so are we familiar with Clippy the little paper clip yeah oh yeah of Microsoft Word of yours okay so

Bandon Oregon is this town attached to abandoned Dunes this beautiful rolling famous uh Golf Course by the Sea and in the dead ass middle of this small town instead of like a welcome to Bandon which you know you've seen or or sometimes when you're leaving as a town you'll see you know we hope you enjoyed your stay come back soon in the dead ass middle of town There's a banner across the main street of Bandon that just says we hope you are enjoying Bandon and it's like clippy was the mayor and he just put up a little sign that's like it looks like you're enjoying our city would you like some help with that that's very yeah that feels very like Hasty video game like we gotta add some flavor to it it feels like John Boyce broke contain and just manifested himself into the Civic architecture of a city on the opposite Coast I love the interstitial World building like uh if you're if you're you know starting the

story in media race and you're like where am I well guess what yeah guess what buddy it's you so yeah like so instead of you are now entering or you are now leaving it's you are still here that's all right grounding it's very centering I have I have the passage Mike and the Mad Dog are not friends really they hardly spend any time together outside the studio Beyond appearing at charity events and walking to the parking lot after the show but on the air they sound as though they were close enough to share gum during exciting games Francesa and Russo often talk on the phone Francesa told me with some exaggeration that on the night of this year's triple overtime playoff Thriller between the New Jersey Nets and the Detroit Pistons dog called me 42 times Francesa and Russo have become so accustomed to talking each other about sports that even when they are talking about something else they sound as if

they're discussing a faked punt or a quirk in the Yankees schedule a few years ago circumstances Knicks Pacers Conference Finals in Indy Francesca's hotel room not ready place the two of them for an hour or so in a hotel room together a rare occurrence this really tells you like how far ago we're talking in time and you're like ah yes Nick's Pacers in the Conference Finals Knicks in the playoffs and a hotel room without electricity right that's how long ago this was also I like that putting them in the same room is like caging dogs and cats together it just shouldn't be done right like we had them in the same cage when they're on the road they often stay in separate hotels I always stay in the best hotel Francesca told me that is the most New York [ __ ] I have ever heard that you would go out of your way to be like I always stay in the [ __ ] Hotel I know thanks Prestige for every meal breakfast steaks lunch

steak tell us something who's got a guy like I got a hotel guy I wear a uniform and it indicates Valor like that's the most New York [ __ ] ever anyway Chris Carlin their producer at the time who now has a show of his own on WFA and walked in to find them watching The Horse Whisperer Carlin started to speak but they shushed him on the screen Robert Redford was breaking up with Kristen Scott Thomas when the scene was over Russo said solemnly Mikey he had to do it he had to do it it was the right move dog Francesca replied The Right Move that that happened in real life and he got to write it down that should have gotten a Pulitzer Prize I have some breaking news here please uh you you how are we all caught up Carson Scott Thomas I hope it is kind of are we all caught up on the mascot name fight in South Carolina uh yeah about them not using super big Spurs sir big spur Spencer do you want to explain this yes

so sir big spur is or was the actual live mascot for the South Carolina of the British Empire please yeah yeah ob-e yes he and Ben Kingsley both shared this honest yeah that's been Thunderbirds thank you excuse me I did that for you yeah um so sir big spur is the official live mascot is it is a threateningly large chicken if you want to know I mean it is a bigger than a chicken should be and there is a serious debate over the chicken because the chicken a lot of mascots by the way like they're not property University somebody just has them and they bring them to games like oga for UGA right they're big um asthmatic Bulldog right big obese asthmatic inbred Bulldog that they bring to games does it not belong to the university this isn't actually the argument the argument is about the name because I'm trying to get to the great part all right we're skipping all this [ __ ] so anyway the usual life mascot

argument this is the argument over whether or not they are allowed to use the name sir big spur due to there's there's a there's the family that owned the original rooster uh is is beefing with the university anyway the point that I'm trying to get to is that the state South Carolina's uh finest college football newspaper is suggesting new names including Marco Poyo cluck Norris and [ __ ] Commander yeah how is how is anything other than [ __ ] Commander possibly going to win that's a great you had me at one until three I mean I'm sorry I'm I'm holding out for Marco Poyo they took home screen I'm not gonna win nobody in South Carolina is going to get the joke well how many like uh college students are voting on it I think that determines the entire thing correct like this is this is the the school that it's for years its largest Beyond South Carolina claim to fame was that you could buy a hat that said Cox

on it in large lettering Go Cox see other suggestions Cock-A-Doodle dude no um that implies some sort of like anthropomorphism that's not there um oh that really sounds like it's like a Don Bluth animated film um kicking chicken after its own jail you can't name a chicken coop what if you call it Cooper Manning hey now there's some heritage they should just call I mean they're like they're not gonna call it Spurrier right like greatest coach in the history of the program it's right there I think the real opportunity South Carolina is missing here if you're gonna like the live mascot is not a it has definitely declined in usage over the last I don't know what would we say 30 40 years it used to be you know Florida had an alligator at games and and we're sort of down to you know dogs Ralphie Vivo um Mike the Tiger but I think if you have a bird I think if you have a a rooster specifically the

move is not oh here is our one live rooster it's here are a hundred here are the hundred roosters we bring to games and we let them roam free and warm warm much like you can't do anything about the cowbells at Mississippi State because it's tradition just say it's it is Tradition at South Carolina to let 250 live roosters loose in the stadium if the SEC finds it sponsor the Columbia Alderman that's right if the SEC finds us for it that's discrimination they're going to lose a star player when they trip over the chicken on the field and they tear their chicken that's South Carolina 15 chickens they're all going to get 85 yeah but you can kill the chicken on site too which would satisfy a lot of people yep like that's I think that's what you need to Miami fans you're kind of with me now huh don't your synonym's not distinctive because you have one chicken if you just have a shitload of them and they're

totally ungovernable like that's an atmosphere I think you I think you won them at the word ungovernable I um what if we said every school has a live mascot budget like one tiger what's that cost like 500 I don't know I've never priced a probably a lot more than 500 but however probably in Louisiana probably not much more but uh however much Mike the Tiger would cost on the open market that is how many dollars worth of chickens you get to fill your stadium with okay so here's our market cap okay hang on you can do anything by the way second time this week I'm Googling cheap live meat near me you can do anything you want that stuff.com is available tiger cheese tiger anybody remember at one point a couple years ago we did an episode that was devoted entirely to states where you don't have to file paperwork to own a tiger okay here we go baby tigers for sale online fifteen hundred dollars oh

1500 bucks that's what it says uh live Roosters on their meal and how to train them at okay it's weird that you can just click the card yeah yeah are you on exotic wildcats.com how much is it gonna ship it to you you can buy a lion what no wow a chicken according to the internet a chicken is two dollars so there you go 750 roosters perfect roaming the sidelines that's perfect chicken wings are free in Miami I think I don't think this website is real I hope it's not real lions are social so would stay with the Dank Vapes Dole Whip family for life okay tigers are not what about this seems wrong to you yeah what about what about I mean yeah there's no action going on there but it's real we deliver to your doorstep don't do that please God please backyard or garage I do not want the doorstep actually Chris Whittingham what's your address real quick just keep it out on the air would you rather us send you a live

tiger or 250 live chickens uh the chickens I'll take the chicken you can send them to the Clevelander 1020 South Ocean Drive okay Chris here's something [ __ ] up it's hard like I don't think we actually could send you a live Tiger but we can send you live chickens we can't do that count our offer all right um the best price I'm seeing for 1 000 worms is 14 okay so that would be what um I don't have the math in front of me like a million worms or a tiger where are we going to keep them what what's in the stadium on the field yeah but that's they're gonna that's grass they love no pageantry there there's still a pageantry I think that that's the primary concern what do you want to teach them how to play Trumpets if possible okay in all seriousness if there are people that you don't like out there you can order snake food and have hundreds of Frozen dead mice delivered pretty much anywhere and it's not

expensive that's true it's true reptile people have an amazing Amazon wish list like if you really want to peruse stuff like literal reptile people Instagram ads must be [ __ ] yeah Instagram just is like I don't know who searches for heat lamps and live mice can I send you a block of frozen mice for your birthday one year you tried to yeah it went to the wrong address meaning you sent a block of frozen mice to a total stranger Sorry probably which is your life probably that total stranger a boa constrictor who lived at my old address oh my God my boss this they probably got this they're like my boss knows I'm embezzling I have to I have to stop I have to stop he's gonna feed me to a snake and now that person is not embezzling anymore so you change something I had the most confusing goddamn day they opened up this weird dry ice box and in it they're a bunch of dead mice and they're like so

that's how my day's starting I don't know who Spencer Hall is but he [ __ ] up he messed something up I thought you needed a birthday treat that boy you you don't call somebody and be like yeah this got misdelivered as an l and move on right no I investigate because I have bad investigate you want to know who who I want to know and that's why I'm the guy who ends up dead in the First Act of a Cohen Brothers movie I found some money surely this will be fine we'll keep it I will keep it don't cry because it's over man smile because it happened

thank you foreign foreign foreign

Questions about this episode

Who speaks in "Hour 1: Cock Commander 💥 The Dan Le Batard Show 2022 💥 Top Podcasts In Sports"?

Dan Le Batard (Host), Stugotz (Host), Spencer Hall (Guest), Mike Ryan (Guest), Chris Whittingham (Guest).

What is "Hour 1: Cock Commander 💥 The Dan Le Batard Show 2022 💥 Top Podcasts In Sports" about?

This content features a lively discussion on the Dan Le Batard Show, highlighting the excitement of college football season, including betting promotions from DraftKings Sportsbook. The conversation takes a humorous turn as the hosts delve into the controversial film "Splice," exploring its unconventional themes and shocking moments.

What is mentioned in this The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz episode?

9 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Spencer Hall, Dan Le Batard, Hobby Lobby, Robert Redford, Florida State, Kristen Scott Thomas. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "Hour 1: Cock Commander 💥 The Dan Le Batard Show 2022 💥 Top Podcasts In Sports"?

The episode runs 50 min; the transcript is about 8,327 words in 49 timestamped sections.

More from The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz

About this transcript: the episode's spoken words as captioned on YouTube, split into timestamped sections. Reclip.Me locates every person, work and idea in the text, keeps the time it is first named, and quotes the words around it verbatim. Last updated January 24, 2026.