Transcript

I Hate When My Husband Leaves Me

From The Dr. John Delony Show · Episode page · Watch on YouTube

· 18 min · 3,062 words · 67 timestamped sections

This is the full, timestamped transcript of "I Hate When My Husband Leaves Me", an episode of The Dr. John Delony Show published January 19, 2026 (18 min, about 3,062 words). It mentions 3 people, works and ideas, including Delete Me, Jaco.

What this episode is about

A 29-year-old mother of five, who is expecting her sixth child, expresses her emotional struggle with feelings of bitterness when her devoted husband takes time for himself on hunting weekends or outings. Despite appreciating his support and recognizing the chaos and joy of motherhood, she grapples with the challenges of managing such a large family, prompting her to reflect on the need for personal space and balance in their relationship.

Key takeaways

  • Raising a basketball team before 30; clearly, playdates require serious logistics and a touch of insanity.
  • Feeling bitter about your husband's 'me time' might just be a side effect of family chaos—totally normal.
  • It's recognized that feeling overwhelmed doesn't mean you're failing; it’s the social equivalent of a low tire warning.
  • Juggling five kids and a sixth on the way? That’s less a 'family' and more a 'full-on circus!'
  • Emotional fairness is a slippery slope—your kids won’t appreciate the ‘scorekeeping’ from your childhood!

Who speaks in this episode?

What is discussed, and when

  1. – 9:00: Delete Me, Delete Me

Notable quotes from "I Hate When My Husband Leaves Me"

  • I'm all over the internet because of this job. And I hate feeling so exposed and out there, and that's why I love Delete Me. They help me take control of my digital privacy so I can be peaceful and not paranoid when I'm online and.
    about Delete Me · at

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

  • Jaco — Person · 1 mention

Companies & orgs

  • Delete Me — Company · 1 mention · first at
    This job. And I hate feeling so exposed and out there, and that's why I love Delete Me. They help me take control of my digital privacy so I can be peaceful and not paranoid…

Sponsors

  • Delete Me — Product · Sponsor · 1 mention · first at
    Promoted as a solution for digital privacy, helping users take control of their online presence.

Full transcript with timestamps

So, I am 29 years old. I've been married for almost 10 years, and I have five little kids with my husband.

Whoa. That's a lot of people in the house. It's a lot of people. Yeah. How old is your oldest?

Um, he just turned eight. You have five kids, eight and under? Yes. Yeah, I do.

Do you just set yourself on fire just to feel fun sometimes? Good god. I always joke with my husband that uh I'm going to set my hair on fire and run down the street. That's like our our joke that

No, you already did that. Eight and under. You did that. Wow. I know. Yeah. We But it's so great. Of course. We're very blessed.

What an amazing chaotic fun adventure y'all are on. That's cool. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm actually I'm pregnant with number six. Why not? Super new.

Why not? Yeah. At this point, you know, you have a backup on your basketball team. Yeah. That's right. That's right.

Yeah. Yeah. So, um, if you ever want to call into the show and ask why this keeps happening, I could probably help you out there, too. But it's good.

Yeah, we do. We probably do need some help in that area. No, keep them coming. Just giving up.

Keep them coming. I love it. Um, yeah. So, I I'm married to seriously the best the best man in the world. Um I I knew I would get emotional at this point. Um you know how you always say like that girls should have a dad that would light the world on fire for them? That's that's my husband. He would literally do anything for me. Um

and I love hearing that. Yeah, he is just he is so great and I really lucked out. Um,

did he luck out too? Yeah, I think he did. Yeah, he did. Yeah. Um but yeah, I recently just like when he wants to go like on a hunting weekend or um do things to like refuel for himself, um

I find myself like just feeling super bitter. Um and it always starts out great. Like I normally have a plan for all the kids for those weekends or those evenings or whatever. And it just seems like, you know, if he runs a little bit late or if something, you know, like if life happens and it ends up being later than he thought or something, I just like I feel something inside of me that just like bubbles over and I get like so angry and feel myself getting bitter about it. And I I feel so much shame and guilt around it because he's so supportive.

Whenever I need time, like if I want to go to a ladies night or book club or a retreat, he's just so supportive and would literally do anything to to help me with that. And so

I feel like it's something like like deep inside of me and I just can't seem to figure out what it is. Um, and so I thought maybe you would have an idea.

Yeah. Like, well, I mean, a you're I I like to start with the premise there's no bad thoughts.

Thoughts happen. Okay. Right. And feelings are um a light on a dashboard in your car,

right? So, sometimes they're annoying, sometimes they're they keep us safe, sometimes they're right. Like, but they just are. Right. Mhm.

And I think we get ourselves into trouble when we act on every feeling or more importantly we try to sub we try to ascribe meaning and depth and what's going on in my subconscious to every emotion and feeling. And so this is going to sound counterintuitive, but and this may be the wrong track, but what if we unintellectualize them

and we just put them on the table as I'm pregnant with five kids and I love love love that my husband's got friends and hobbies and activities and I won the lottery with him. He won the lottery with me. But dude, our life is scheduled to the second because it has to be because we're not even 30 and we already have a basketball team with the backup on the way and like there it's just always there's a lot going on. So what if the your body's alarm system what if it's detecting a low air pressure

in one of the tires, but that's not really what's you know what I mean? Maybe it's just low cuz it's cold outside and it doesn't mean something's wrong, something's broken. It just kind of is.

Yeah. or or has this been something that's been following you around forever? Have you been a scorekeeper your whole life? Or um Jaco calls it the fairness fairy. Have Have you been looking since you were a little kid? My daughter has that like I got this piece of chocolate. Yours has to be the exact same size as mine or it like it's cosmically unfair and we just set everything on fire. Like which one of those feels right? Well, I'm the oldest sibling in my family, so probably the latter.

Okay. All right. So, you're a This wasn't fair. Younger one got the car and you had to ride your bike and that kind of thing.

Yeah. I think that resonates a little bit more with me. Okay. Um, especially because like when it does happen, it's like I think I try I try to do like any sort of any sort of like mental gymnastics I can to like make sure that it's not a big deal and that I'm not overreacting. And it's just like it feels like it's this thing that I just like cannot cannot get over. You know what I mean?

What what is it? Take so take kids off and take husband off. Okay. Mhm. Give me an example of something off the table. Give me some an example of something that you see in the world that is just patently unfair

and it enrages you. I would say yeah, like well this is kind of I guess a maybe too personal of an example, but like if I have a friend that's like not invited to a group gathering and it's not like my thing that I'm hosting, I get like

I get really angry for that person when That person might not even care. Gotcha. Okay. So, you have like an internal sense of justice.

Yes. Yeah. For sure. The things need to be the right way or else. Yes. Mhm. Often like so a good a sense of justice is important. I want everyone in the world to have that. I think that's amazing. But if it is serving as an anti-anxiety medication for you,

if it's your way to get some tiny sense of control in your life when the world feels out of control cuz you have five kids eight and under.

Yes. Right. Then it can it can be it becomes um not a useful way of being in the world but it becomes a drug

and then nothing feels better than when everything's out of control. Nothing feels better than rage. That's why our culture is the way it is right now cuz things are things are uncertain, things are out of control. And so what do we do? We just get in rage because it feels it makes us feel powerful underneath a blanket on our own couch. Yeah, that I relate a lot to that.

So, what is it? What is it getting you? I'm all over the internet because of this job. And I hate feeling so exposed and out there, and that's why I love Delete Me. They help me take control of my digital privacy so I can be peaceful and not paranoid when I'm online and offline. For 20% off an annual plan, go to joindeleteme.com/deloney. What is it getting you?

Um, that's a good question. Or let me ask it this way. What What is feelings serve a purpose? So, what is your body trying to protect you from?

I think it's trying to tell me that I'm being let down. Ah, tell me about that. Um, yeah. I mean, I was let down a lot growing up.

How so? Give me an example. Well, my family, my parents, they separated twice while I was growing up. Mhm.

Um and then for a third time more recently almost 4 years ago. Um and yeah, being the oldest, I yeah, my dad had to go to rehab. He had to he went and did a lot of things to to better himself. And I found myself like at the age of 14 having to go and work and having to give up things that I really loved in order to to keep things okay at home. Um, and I think then when they were okay for a long time and 3 years ago it happened again, it was like just a huge letdown.

Yeah. um in a huge shock and I kind of got brought back to all of those feelings of when I what I felt growing up.

So, and I need you to be honest, okay? Cuz we can't get to the truth unless you just can lay it all out there.

Mhm. Somebody can be wonderful and not show up all the time. Mhm. or not fully understand the extent of it of they are not showing up. So you've got this amazing self-described wonderful won the lottery husband. Are there places where he's not showing up in this new Y'all have a brand new marriage and you're about to have another new marriage.

You all had six new marriages, right? Is there places where he's not showing up as you need him in this new world? Okay, I know you're going to call me crazy, but honestly, no. Which I feel like that's great. Is why I feel like so much shame around this.

Okay, what if you were really compassionate with your body? Because when he's late and your body goes, see, I told you he's not going to show up for you either. You intellectually know that's not true,

but your body's got a road map. It's been down this before and it just automatically kicks in to four-wheel drive to keep you safe.

And that doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. That doesn't mean your thoughts are bad. That doesn't mean your feelings are bad. That doesn't mean you getting angry is bad.

Where it becomes problematic is when you then go into I shouldn't be feeling like this. I'm a bad wife. He could have done better. I can't believe these kids got stuck with me as a mom and now we're off to the race to the bottom. You get what I'm saying?

Mhm. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. It It's the difference in he did a thing that I don't necessarily like, which is come home two hours late, which is fine, and he did that to me. Right? Like deciphering between like he didn't do that on purpose to hurt me,

right? And telling my body that it's okay. And the way we tell our body is not sitting in our heads and stewing.

The way we tell our body is going to do the next right thing. And I think we have overintellectualized everything. We think about it and think about it and talk about it and listen to podcast about it and we think about it some more and then we talk about it some more and our body is going to war inside of our own chest because it it thinks the stories we're telling it are are real. It's it's go time. He's going to leave.

And then he Bbops in the door and he's like, "I got a big buck." AND YOU'RE LIKE, "SHUT UP." RIGHT.

YES. Because you you've been having you've been having an imaginary conversation with him for hours. Yeah, that's pretty spot on.

So, what does it look like to a when he goes out and I'm making something up in real time that may or may not happen in my house on a regular basis, especially during hunting season. Um, what if when he goes out Saturday morning at 4:00 in the morning and he says, "I'm going to be back tonight. I'm going to be back around 6:00." in his heart and mind, he wants to pull in that driveway at 5:45.

Mhm. And life happens. The woods are crazy places. Mhm. What if your mind was he's not going to be home till 9.

I'm going to expect him at 9:00. So, I've got bedtime tonight. I've got all this stuff tonight. and I'm going to do one or two things that will blow his mind as he walks in the door. Not he's going to walk in the door and I'm going to dump five kids worth of frustration on him.

I'm going to hand him his favorite warm tea when he walks in the door. Yeah, I like that a lot better.

Well, and what it's doing is it's taking it out of your head and it is I had this feeling he's not coming back. And you know, yeah, he is. And since he's coming back, he's that kind of guy.

I'm gonna begin to teach my body that when he's late, I got an opportunity to serve. I got an opportunity to double down amidst all the crazy.

Mhm. And you have to have the courage that if he's like, "Oh, sweet, man." She doesn't care when I get home and she greets me with a cup. And if this becomes I'm not saying abusing in like the abusive word, you know what I mean? But like in the if it becomes something he takes for granted, then I'm going to have the courage to sit down and say,

"Hey, when you say you're going to be home at 6, like come hell or high water, I need you to be here at 6."

Yeah. Or I know when you say 600 with all of your heart and mind you want to be here at 6:00, but I know it's not 9:00, but now you're coming home at 11.

Sure. Yeah. And being able to put that on the table. And he sounds like the kind of guy that could hear that and be like, "You're exactly right. I messed that up. won't happen again.

Yeah, totally. He would. Yeah. Yeah, I think that would uh for sure be a good a good place to start. For sure.

So, you saying, "Hey, when you walk in the door, if you have some dinner with you or my favorite cup of coffee or you come in and you go straight upstairs to jump into bedtime, that would mean the world to me."

Yeah, that's a really good idea. I think sometimes like in the craziness like those are the details that we miss because it's just like constant survival mode.

Exactly. Right. And so how do you and him get away for a morning and say, "Hey, we're about to have our sixth or seventh marriage."

Mhm. We've never been married with six kids and so we have a new one. That's awesome. It may look like for a couple of years hunting season is like one or two weekends and I know you love it with all your heart but we both decided to create

you know a half a dozen humans and that's going to come as some sacrif that's great cool

yeah yeah and when you walk in that door here's what I need from you but then he walks in the door refreshed and he's got a road map to you have been intentional about the things that you need to do to be well and it stops s it from being, well, I had to do this, so you had to do that. The scorekeeping is what melts relationships. I did this, and then you did that. And then if it does, he's going to turn into, oh, I can't get one weekend. I can't get two weekends. I can't get three weekends a year to go right. And of course, that's not reality either. And so, it's backing all the way out and saying, okay, we got a new marriage. What do we want this to feel like? And I'm going to be really honest and intentional with you, and I'm going to ask you to be really honest and intentional with me.

And the driver here is you are not going to beat yourself up about those lightning bolt thoughts that pop in your head. And you're going to have a list of things that are the next right thing. But I guess the med I want to pass along to you is there's nothing wrong with you. You're not broken. You're in a wild season. And it's going to take him giving up some stuff, you giving up some stuff. And more importantly, it's going to be y'all giving up secrets and being honest about here's exactly what I want on a day in dayout basis and on these special weekends. And you having the courage to take him up on it and him having the courage to take you up on it.

Questions about this episode

Who speaks in "I Hate When My Husband Leaves Me"?

Dr. John Delony (Host), Unknown Caller (Guest).

What is "I Hate When My Husband Leaves Me" about?

A 29-year-old mother of five, who is expecting her sixth child, expresses her emotional struggle with feelings of bitterness when her devoted husband takes time for himself on hunting weekends or outings. Despite appreciating his support and recognizing the chaos and joy of motherhood, she grapples with the challenges of managing such a large family, prompting her to reflect on the need for…

What is mentioned in this The Dr. John Delony Show episode?

3 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Delete Me, Jaco. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "I Hate When My Husband Leaves Me"?

The episode runs 18 min; the transcript is about 3,062 words in 67 timestamped sections.

More from The Dr. John Delony Show

About this transcript: the episode's spoken words as captioned on YouTube, split into timestamped sections. Reclip.Me locates every person, work and idea in the text, keeps the time it is first named, and quotes the words around it verbatim. Last updated January 20, 2026.