We Have to Move In With My In-Laws . . .

What this episode is about

The discussion centers around a couple preparing to move in with the wife's in-laws for six months while selling their house, emphasizing the importance of setting boundaries and having open conversations to maintain positive relationships throughout the experience. The aim is to ensure that everyone remains on good terms and values their connections by approaching the situation with intentionality and maturity.

Key takeaways

• Align expectations upfront: everyone involved may picture 'moving in' differently—don’t leave it to chance.
• Maturity is rare; your intention to maintain relationships makes you the unicorn of adulting.
• Shared spaces matter—discuss boundaries early or risk turning hospitality into hostage negotiation.
• Worries about tantrums? Address them directly; proactive parenting fosters family harmony, not resentment.
• Intentional dinners can unite families, transforming awkwardness into understanding and memories worth creating.

What is discussed, and when

1. 0:00 – 3:00: government officials

Notable quotes from "We Have to Move In With My In-Laws . . ."

• What if when government officials were like borrowed a trillion dollars, they were Hey, let's don't do this until we have a plan to pay it back. Like I just your willingness to.

  about government officials · at 1:46

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

• government officials — Person · Referenced group (rhetorical example) · 1 mention · first at 1:46
  Used as a contrastive example about making plans before taking on big commitments (borrowing money), reinforcing the theme of planning ahead.

Full transcript with timestamps

0:06 So, I have a question um about um you know, what my husband and I should think about, conversations that we should have um and boundaries that we should potentially set with our in-laws as or my in-laws as we um get ready to move in with them in the spring for about 6 months time.

0:27 How come you're moving in? Um, so we're going to be selling our house in the spring and um, we have a 2 and a halfyear-old and we talked with our realtor and she was like, I highly recommend that if possible um, y'all like um, move into a different space while we're staging and while we're, you know, showing the house if possible. It's really hard to, you know, do all of that. And we want to take our time with with buying and we're moving to a new area. And so it'll our goal is no more than 6 months to be living with my in-laws um for that time. And so we want to be really intentional about moving in with them. I want us all to like each other when this is all over um because I I value that relationship with them. And um so I I really want to be intentional about making sure that, you know, we we go into this with our eyes wide open and we're doing things on the front end so that on the back end when this is all

1:21 over, we still like each other. This is one of my favorite calls I've ever received on the show. Ever. Ever. You know why? This is adults making adult decisions and dealing with adult realities. And that makes you in the top 00001% of mature humans on the planet right now. That's so awesome. That's amazing. What if when when government officials were like borrowed a trillion dollars, they were like, "Hey, let's don't do this until we have a plan to pay it back." Like I just your willingness to be like, "Hey, the day after we move out, we still want to love you guys. We want y'all to love us. Let's reverse engineer that." Genius. You're the best, Marie. So, high five. All right. So, I'm going to pretend that everybody involved is that mature. Is that fair?

2:09 Uh, for the mo. Yeah, I would say so. Well, my mother-in-law, but like is is because here's I'm gonna paint you the ideal scenario. Okay. Sure. This is the dream world. The dream world is you take that level of again I wish I had a different word because it sounds like I'm so paternal but that level of maturity and wisdom and the you and your husband and your in-laws you you all set up a special dinner and you all paid for it and it's really nice

2:39 and you tell them here's the goal of this dinner coming up next week. The goal is we want to all be on the same exact page with we want to have the same picture of what the next six months is going to look like.

2:53 And it's aligning pictures. And here's what I mean by that. Have you heard me talk about pictures and words?

2:59 Yes. Okay. So, for people who haven't heard me talk about that, we think in pictures, but we speak in words. And so, y'all, all four are saying the words we're moving in or they're moving in. And all four of you, you, your husband, and your in-laws have a different picture of what the words moving in look like. Maybe your mother-in-law is like, "I'm going to babysit every day and I'm just going to hug that baby." Your father-in-law is like, "I ain't doing any babysitting. I'm watching this game. I don't care what's going on." And maybe your husband's like, "Oh, dude, we're going to get to make out on my old high school bed and it's going to be awesome." And you're like, "Well, no sex for six months cuz I ain't doing it in that house." Like, everybody's got a different picture, right?

3:39 Yes. And so it is simply aligning that picture, okay, of here's what we think this is going to look like and feel like. And I love the way you said this. If you look at your in-laws and say what y'all are giving us is such a generous opportunity for for our 2 and a half yearear-old 20 years from now,

4:00 I want to make sure that we love each other more the day after we move out than today.

4:06 Yes. How can we best inhabit y'all's world in your house and love and honor your hospitality? And often aging parents have forgotten the the realities of life with a 2 and a halfyear-old.

4:22 Yes. Right. Yes. And so putting that on the table, how like um are y'all going to be in the same house? Are you all going to be like in a back house or something like that?

4:32 So we'll be in their basement. Okay. Um they have like um they have a couple bedrooms down there and um there's like a small little like kitchenet type of thing, but there's also like some shared space that we don't want to cut them off from being able to use for that entire 6 months that we're there. So that does complicate things a little bit. But for the most part, we do have our own space. So there's not like a door to the basement. Okay, so here's where this is important. They may have already decided between the two of them, dude, that shared space is all theirs for six months.

5:04 We love to give that up. And if you and your husband are already like, "Okay, we don't want to take this from them." Already you see there's a wedge between you without and both of y'all are trying to do the best you can to love each other.

5:14 Yeah. And so it is putting that out saying I here's my worries and I'd love to hear your worries. Worry number one, I got a 2 and a halfyear-old. They I don't care how good of a parent you are, they throw tantrums.

5:27 Um my plan is if there's a tantrum, we're going to take the kid downstairs and we're going to deal with it. Worry number two, there's the shared space. I don't want to take y'all's shared space for the next six months. And all of y'all address each individual worry. And maybe a worry is we want to plan for a weekly dinner where we all eat dinner together, but we also want to preserve some just dinner with me and my husband and our new little baby together in the basement.

5:56 Yeah. and having those individual maybe if I don't know if yall go to church but we're going to go to this church and y'all go to yours. It's we just don't want to feel like, well, we have to invite them up for dinner now. And here they come down the stairs again. Like,

6:08 let's go ahead and have those things out. And the if in a in a super wise family, y'all could leave that dinner and say, okay, cool. Friday night's family dinner night.

6:17 Or Friday nights, they would love to babysit and you and husband go out for date night. Mhm.

6:23 Um or every Tuesday night is all of us are getting together for dinner and it's just on the calendar and Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday we eat downstairs with just our nuclear family.

6:34 Mhm. But it's getting all those things out on the table and that you're you So here's how it best works. You and your husband say in a perfect world, this is what we would love.

6:44 Okay? We want to have dinner every night of the week with every night of the week with them. Or we don't want to do that. Um, we are worried about our two and a half-year-old drawing dinosaurs on the walls with crayons, which 100% he will do, right? Like those things and then addressing those out on the table there.

7:06 Yeah. All you going first though and saying, "Here's my number one goal to honor your hospitality because this is such an amazing gift. This is like a like a potentially generation generational shifting gift. 6 months of no rent, no bills, no and maybe maybe I'll decide it's a big deal for us to pay 500 bucks a month. Yeah.

7:27 And then and let them say we're not taking your money. Are you crazy? Yeah. Or whatever. Right.

7:34 Yeah. I think what I'm most worried about is um like my we have a 2 and 1 half-year-old and she does throw tantrums and she does um have one day a week where they have her for child care so my husband and I can work already and so um the like we want them to still be grandparents. We don't want them to become a second set of parents to her, but we also like when we're living there, we don't want the way that they um the way that they discipline or whatever you want to call it when she's there one day a week to undermine what we do the rest of the week now that we're living in the same space.

8:13 And that would be a beautiful sentiment for your husband to say out loud. I want to make sure that me and my wife remain their parents and y'all get to have the honor of just being their grandparents.

8:27 Yeah. And so we want to walk in the door setting the table for. We're going to take care of the discipline. We're going to take care of the kids groceries. We want to be responsible of those things because we want y'all to get to remain the most precious thing on the planet, which is grandparents.

8:43 Yeah. and just setting it out loud like this is what I want to do here and the reality is your father-in-law is going to be like hey we don't yell in this he's going to do that stuff and you know that your mother-in-law is going to be like you should when she throws a tantrum you just need to pinch her on the back of her calf whatever right and rub some essential oils under that nose like I don't know you just you have to know I'm am going into their house and they're going to say their Yeah.

9:14 Right. And you get to decide, and this sounds crazy, you and your husband get to decide how much of that you let annoy you, frustrate you, or make you mad.

9:27 Yeah. Right. Because here's the deal. Two-year-olds are going to do two-year-old stuff.

9:32 Grandparents are going to do grandparents stuff. Mhm. And new parents trying to prove to their mom and dad and to their mother-in-law and their father-in-law that they've got this. Y'all are going to do your stuff, too.

9:46 Yeah. True. And so hopefully your in-laws are like, "Dude, the fact that they sat down and had this direct conversation with us was amazing. That shows a level of wisdom we didn't even know they had. and we're going to let we're going to do our best to let them take the lead on discipline and stuff and remain grandparents and fill in the blank. We hope that's the case.

10:10 Yeah. But even the again the fact that you're not just making this is going to be great or this is going to be miserable, but you're like, "Hey, let's we get to choose what this is like." Mhm.

10:23 And you and your husband, I want y'all to also go and y'all go out and have coffee and pregame with each other. How is the best way we can love each other when your mom says something that really annoys me?

10:36 Yeah. Or how when you get around your dad, you act different. And I want us to have that conversation now.

10:48 Yeah. Is that fair? That's good. Yeah. Totally. And so if you and him get together as y'all map out here's what we want this to look like. Here's how we want to honor our our parents and in-laws. And more importantly, y'all talk about, hey dude, when you're around your mom, you get real sassy or you get real or when when hey wife, when you get around my mother, you get real performative and you try to go into it's all perfect. It's all good. It's I don't I'm just making stuff up. But um

11:16 yeah, I we need to have a signal that we can call each other out and we're not going to get mad and infuriated, but we're going to we're going to accept the challenge because we love each other.

11:26 And what must be true? We have to overceelebrate each other because you can't have challenges without celebration. We're going to overly challenge each other. I'm going to keep my eyes extra attuned when I see my wife is str I see you struggling. He's going to grab that 2-year-old and be like, I'm out of here. You go spa date. We're gonna put a money for spa day. We're gonna put money for I don't know what you do. You may go to the gym. You may go to I don't know go smoke weed with your friend. I don't know what you do in in Denver, but like we're gonna go do we're going to have those things built in so that we can overly celebrate each other. Dude, I saw you. Thank you for grabbing the laundry last night.

12:00 Thank you for getting up with two and a half year old. Thank you for making the bed. Like those little bitty things so that when I have to challenge you like, "Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, you're turning into um a 14-year-old son again. I need my husband back." that he'll be able to go, "Okay, I got you. I'll accept that challenge and it won't come off as more criticism." Um, but man, you and him get together, then y'all come up with your game plan, take your in-laws out to a nice dinner, let them know what's coming, and y'all map this sucker out.

12:28 And I'm so honored to talk to people who want to be wise about a challenging relationship season and owning. We get to choose what this thing looks like. Let's make that choice on the front end. I love it. I love it. I'm proud of you, Marie.

Questions about this episode

What is "We Have to Move In With My In-Laws . . ." about?

The discussion centers around a couple preparing to move in with the wife's in-laws for six months while selling their house, emphasizing the importance of setting boundaries and having open conversations to maintain positive relationships throughout the experience. The aim is to ensure that everyone remains on good terms and values their connections by approaching the situation with…

What is mentioned in this The Dr. John Delony Show episode?

1 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including government officials. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "We Have to Move In With My In-Laws . . ."?

The episode runs 13 min; the transcript is about 2,527 words in 39 timestamped sections.

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