Transcript

MBMBaM 796: Wire and Ass

From The McElroy Family · Episode page · Watch on YouTube

· 53 min · 10,405 words · 257 timestamped sections

This is the full, timestamped transcript of "MBMBaM 796: Wire and Ass", an episode of The McElroy Family published January 12, 2026 (53 min, about 10,405 words). It mentions 22 people, works and ideas, including Klay Travis, Avatar Fire and Ash, Avatar, Bridgerton, Jenny's.

What this episode is about

In this episode, the Mroy brothers humorously discuss the absurdity of their own qualifications while offering offbeat advice on various topics, blending personal anecdotes with playful banter. Their self-deprecating humor and silliness create a light-hearted atmosphere, with discussions ranging from unusual experiences, like watching a movie during a colonoscopy, to the joys of unexpected friendships.

Key takeaways

  • Mroy brothers: the ultimate proof that unsolicited advice should come with a warning label.
  • Travis's self-proclaimed expertise feels as reliable as a 'run pee' app during a three-hour movie.
  • Sipping from life's chalice while watching Avatar? Bold choice, but did you leave the theater spiritually unscathed?
  • Colonoscopy and Avatar: two screenings where waiting for a plot twist takes on a whole new meaning.
  • When a movie's runtime sparks more bathroom breaks than plot developments, it's time to reconsider your life choices.

Who speaks in this episode?

What is discussed, and when

  1. – 5:00: Avatar, Jim Cameron, Avatar Fire and Ash, Run Pee
  2. – 10:00: Predator Killer of Killers, Klay Travis, James Vanderbeek
  3. – 15:00: Avatar Fire and Ash, Avatar, IBS, House Hunters
  4. – 20:00: House Hunters, Klay Travis, IBS
  5. – 30:00: Go Fact Yourself, Maximum Fun, Transgender Law Center
  6. – 35:00: Jenny's, Bridgerton
  7. – 40:00: Fantasy Football, Chemistry Lab
  8. – 45:00: Chemistry Lab, Fantasy Football, Dunston Checks In
  9. – 50:00: The Odd Life of Timothy Green
  10. – 53:24: Klay Travis, Maximum Fun

Notable quotes from "MBMBaM 796: Wire and Ass"

  • Yeah, cuz I' I've sipped. Can I just say I was s so greedily from the chalice of life since we last recorded. I both saw the third Avatar movie and had my first colonoscopy at the same time.
    about Avatar Fire and Ash · at
  • Middle of Jim's vision. I haven't checked the run times Justin but I imagine there's some disparity between Spongebob and Avatar 3.
    about Avatar · at
  • Oh, Trav, that's so interesting.
    about Klay Travis · at
  • Distraction that I needed. The predator killer. If killer, the predator was there for you when you needed him most.
    about Predator Killer of Killers · at
  • I think you should just tell your realtor that you have IBS.
    about IBS · at
  • Twice a month, every month, here on Maximum Fun.
    about Maximum Fun · at
  • On right now in the world of food and fast eating. I want to tell you guys though, I'm excited about Jenny's launching an ice cream collaboration with Bridgetgerton.
    about Jenny's · at
  • I can't watch Bridgetgerton without eating ice cream.
    about Bridgerton · at

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

  • Klay Travis — Person · Co-host / speaker · 5 mentions · first at
    Travis is one of the McElroy brothers hosting the episode, participating in the Avatar/colonoscopy bit, advice segments, and announcements.
  • Jim Cameron — Person · Referenced creator · 3 mentions · first at
    Referenced as the director whose 'vision' results in an extremely long Avatar film; used for jokes about runtime and viewing intent.
    Even though that is the way that the director Jim Cameron did intend for you to see the third avatar and ass is Guys, can I just tell you this is the I won't tell you. Which do you want to.
  • James Vanderbeek — Person · Referenced advocate/celebrity · 1 mention · first at
    Cited as raising awareness about colon cancer screenings, motivating Justin's colonoscopy at age 45.
    I'm cutting back on that. But no, but the colon was great. I did this cuz I turned 45 and James Vanderbeek has been raising awareness about getting these screenings done. 45 is…
  • Sigourney Weaver — Person · Referenced actor · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as being present in the Avatar film being discussed, reinforcing the Avatar bit.

Companies & orgs

  • Jenny's — Company · Food brand discussed / pseudo-ad segment topic · 4 mentions · first at
    Central to the 'Bud Squad' segment: hosts describe Jenny's Bridgerton-themed ice creams and read flavor descriptions.
  • Maximum Fun — Company · Network / platform · 2 mentions · first at
    MBMBaM is part of Maximum Fun; the episode includes a Go Fact Yourself promo and a donation announcement tied to MaxFun Drive.
  • Transgender Law Center — Company · Nonprofit beneficiary / cause highlighted · 1 mention · first at
    Maximum Fun announces a $43,000 donation to Transgender Law Center and describes its mission supporting transgender and gender non-conforming people.
    Thank you to all the Max Fund members who made this possible. Transgender Law Center champions the right of all transgender and gender non-conforming people to live freely, safely, and authentically. A mission.

Products & tech

  • Run Pee — Product · Referenced tool / comedic device · 3 mentions · first at
    Justin uses the app to plan bathroom breaks during the long Avatar movie; later riffed into 'run pee from the butts' joke.
    And really embrace Fire and Ash, like really get deep into the world. And I pulled up my app, my special app I used to tell me when to pee, run pee.

Concepts & topics

  • IBS — Concept · Advice-question constraint / comedic premise · 2 mentions · first at
    Central to the housing question: the couple needs 2+ bathrooms due to IBS; hosts discuss stigma and how to tell a realtor.
  • Fantasy Football — Concept · Referenced concept / comedic tangent · 3 mentions · first at
    Used as an explanation for the 'young hip managers' chat and as a recurring joke about accidentally being added to leagues.
    Stood there for long enough, they were going to ask me to join or they might just sign me up. I don't know how you get in fantasy football. It keeps happening to me. Me neither, man.

Places & events

  • Chemistry Lab — Place · Setting of advice question · 4 mentions · first at
    Workplace context for the 'young hip managers' group chat question; hosts riff on lab management and cool experiments.
    I've been a manager for around a year now in the chemistry lab I work in. In one of the recent meetings with the rest of management team, I happened to glance over at the laptop of a person sitting next to me and saw that they were in a.
  • Pullman Square — Place · Referenced place · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as the area with the movie theater and other shops while discussing leaving Avatar mid-movie.
    Hey guys, there's a lot to do at Pullman Square. I don't know if you noticed, but it's not just a movie theater anymore.

Media & podcasts

  • Avatar Fire and Ash — Media · Referenced media / running gag topic · 3 mentions · first at
    Used as a comedic comparison point to the colonoscopy experience and as a centerpiece of the long-runtime/pee-breaks discussion.
  • Avatar — Media · Referenced franchise / anchor for bit · 4 mentions · first at
    The Avatar franchise frames the opening comedic segment about runtime, pee breaks, and 'Jim Cameron's vision.'
  • Bridgerton — Media · Referenced media / ad-read discussion topic · 1 mention · first at
    Discussed in the 'Bud Squad' segment as part of a Jenny's ice cream collaboration; hosts debate the show, characters, and tone.
  • Predator Killer of Killers — Media · Referenced media / coping aid · 3 mentions · first at
    Justin watches it at 2 a.m. during colonoscopy prep; becomes a humorous recommendation paired with screening advice.
  • House Hunters — Media · Referenced media / analogy source · 3 mentions · first at
    Used to discuss how home-buying preferences are framed on TV and to riff on contradictory couple requirements.
    Is I'm scared of heights and I don't want to be up there at all. And they cut to the realtor. is WHAT DO YOU WANT THIS [ __ ] GUY TO DO, MAN? WHAT DO I DO? JOSH, YOU DON'T WANT…
  • SpongeBob — Media · Referenced media / contrast point · 1 mention · first at
    Justin checks on his kids watching SpongeBob during an Avatar pee break; used to contrast runtimes and theater experiences.
    Middle of Jim's vision. I haven't checked the run times Justin but I imagine there's some disparity between Spongebob and Avatar 3.
  • The Odd Life of Timothy Green — Media · Referenced media / analogy · 1 mention · first at
    Referenced as a possible narrative template for 'you grew him' when discussing hiding a child from a landlord.
    Yeah, you could. now I've never seen The Odd Life of Timothy Green, but I've heard people talk about it. Say, You grew him. Is that the one with Lyn Manuel Miranda? Is it? I think it's.
  • MySpace — Media · Referenced platform / joke · 1 mention · first at
    Used as a joke about being 'very active on MySpace' while discussing the 'big boy' motivational bit.
    The more I live with it, the more I love it. I have been, as you guys know, I'm very active on MySpace and I've seen some questions about who the big boy is.
  • Dunston Checks In — Media · Referenced media / example · 1 mention · first at
    Used as a throwaway example to mock unnecessary group chats ('Dunston Lovers').
    If I'm talking to two of my friends and I'm You guys remember the movie Dun Checks In? And then the next day, one of them has invited me to a group chat called Dunston Lovers. It's like this would didn't need to be a we didn't.

Sponsors

  • Go Fact Yourself — Media · Promoted show (network promo) · 2 mentions · first at
    Appears in an inserted promo describing the trivia format and that it runs on Maximum Fun.
    Say, what's the trivia show where dreams come true?

Full transcript with timestamps

The Mroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby?

1 2 3 4. It's the start of something beautiful. A small acquaintance has blossomed. It's ripened into a precious friendship. I could have never seen what was coming for me. Hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach. My life it feels like it's better. It's better with you. My life, it's better. It's better with you. This is true. Oh, it's better. It's better with you. It's better with you.

Hello and welcome to My Brother, My Brother, and Me, an advice show from the modern era where we're apparently we're not even allowed to cough anymore.

You weren't coughing the old brother up off the ground. Why was it on the ground?

And you waited until audio podcast. We finished like we synced and then you knew it was game time and you reached down

and then you were like bite of apple. I had a coughing fit. You didn't chewing fit.

That sounded like me eating an apple and it looked like It looked like it. We saw it. Why was it on the ground? Why did you have a ground apple?

We have done so much work on our video setups, Justin, for you to keep saying that's not for them.

Yeah, cuz I' I've sipped. Can I just say I was s so greedily from the chalice of life since we last recorded. I both saw the third Avatar movie and had my first colonoscopy

at the same time. No, that would have been very convenient. Even though that is the way that the director Jim Cameron did intend for you to see the third avatar and ass is

Guys, can I just tell you this is the I won't tell you. Which do you want to hear about

[ __ ] Yes. Can you talk about it in a way that it applies to both of them at the same time?

Compare and contrast. Yeah, that's cool. Well, I meant like make big broad general statements.

It took longer than I would have wanted. Like that kind of stuff, right? There were some surprisingly funny parts. Okay. Um I liked it when the whale talked. There was a twist.

Sigourney Weaver was there. I sat down. The Slice and I were going to go see Fire and Ash. Dad was going to see a movie with the girls at the same time. So, we're just gonna hitch a ride, you know, and really embrace Fire and Ash, like really get get deep into the world. And I pulled up my app, my special app I used to tell me when to pee, you know, run pee.

Yeah. And I and I saw it said 3 hours and 15 minutes until credits. And I tried to like I figured it was a bug, so I tried to make my phone refresh. And I looked at Slice. And I said, "Slice, is this [ __ ] 3 hours 15 minutes long?" And I almost at that point was like, I not even for the vine, my man. Not even. I have to go. I can't stay for Avatar.

Has anyone let Jimmy Cameron know that they have let him make multiples of these and he doesn't have to squeeze it all into?

Just curious how many pea brakes were in this bad boy because that sounds like three dozen like good fertile ground.

I took five. All right. I will. I took five and one of them I went and bought gummy snakes and then found the theater that my kids were in watching Spongebob and went and just saw how they were doing brought some like just checked in on them for a little bit just like a little field trip in the middle middle of Jim's vision. I haven't checked the run times Justin but I imagine there's some disparity between Spongebob and Avatar 3.

They see it twice. Do they do it? Yeah. They finished. Did they just wait the hour and 45 minutes for your movie to be done?

Hey guys, there's a lot to do at Pullman Square. I don't know if you noticed, but it's not just a movie theater anymore. There is a Chico.

Yeah, sure. So, did you see the movie? Because you made it sound like you left the movie because you thought it would be too long.

No, I left in the middle of the movie for a while and then came back. This movie was so long that I like I disassociated and then had the thought like there's no way this movie is still going. I like completely left spiritually too. That doesn't count the five physical absences that I took during the movie. U which will be a really new textured experience when I watch at home with the family gathered around. Now were you able it will all make sense. Were you able to similarly kind of astral project while you were getting your butt examined, your butt and butthole looked at? Do you guys know about the the whole I had to drink I had to drink a liter of diuretics in addition to not eating the day before. I had to drink four lers of diuret.

They're like when I c when I they're like we're about to start this is the how you do the prep and they hand me this huge jug that I had to drink

and they chanted your name and said [clears throat] down in one down this is no problem for me I can drink lots of stuff no problem it looked like your big jug that you have Griffin your big water jug but then motivational

there's a twist in the instructions where you have to start drinking at 6 so I had to start drinking at 6 p.m. the night before my procedure and then every 15 minutes another cup. So like every I did my own little power hour of diuretics.

Did Johnny Johnny 40 hands with [ __ ] diarrhea juice. You were allowed to sleep though, right?

Oh, Trav, that's so interesting. Legally, yes. From a from a legal perspective, no judge would havem

as you sloshed around like a hot water bag. This was the actual procedure. I had to drink every 15 minutes a cup of it. And then at f for the first hour I was like, I don't think this laxative is working. And then I was wrong. And then I I did that for 3 hours, every 15 minutes until I drank three liters. And then you have to start the next round five hours before your procedure, which for me was 2 am. So I had to wake up at 2 am,

start drinking laxative. Couldn't go back to bed during this guys cuz like the laxative does practical. It's a real productive. You know what I mean,

right? I watch [gasps] Predator killer of killers, man. And if you NEED A MOVIE, DON'T WATCH UP AT 2 A.M. your

colonoscopy laxative. I have to imagine your nerves, your nerves are already on edge. What from all the laxative? I imagine introducing the predator into that mix is overload.

Oh no, it was exactly the sensory distraction that I needed. The predator killer. If killer,

the predator was there for you when you needed him most. I wanted to go in. There is a chart that shows you how good you did at cleaning out your colon. And it's like the leaderboard.

It's like if you if your last BM looked like clear. Like that's what we're going for is clear water, pee from the butt. If your last one was clear, you get a A+.

Is that how the doctor is the doctor said to you is clear water, pee from the butt?

They say you can't get our You had clear water, Florida, pee from the butt this morning. We know it's important for you to do this exam. Gentlemen of your age should certainly be safe and keep an eye out for stuff. But we won't do it. We won't do it until we get clear water pee from the butt.

We noticed there's still some fans in your system. We're waiting for you to go clear water pee from the butt.

Right out of there, buddy. It was uh I had to wait about two hours before I could really get it going. Yeah. And uh [clears throat] before I get the anesthesia and stuff and uh I was separated by a very thin curtain from strangers getting a very similar procedure to me who were being asked a lot of invasive questions that the gentleman next to me was pretty determined to answer at his loudest possible volume. I don't want to dox this guy by telling you what the questions he was asked were, but the answer was like, I don't know if I have diabetes or not

or um this was good. Yeah, not quite clear. More of a brown and mucky. It's like I was in my head feeling very superior.

Yeah. And she's like, show me on the chart. He's like, well, let me take a look here. Oh no. Oh no, pal. Uh, but I had the uh I got a a super clean bill of colon health.

Loved it. Love the colon. Said I've been taking a bit too much ibuprofen, which is interesting cuz the wrist doctor told me to gobble up like Pac-Man. So, I don't know, man. These doctors did they find the ibuprofen still kind of clumped up down there?

There's still like eight or nine ibuprofen in here. No, it just is all like messed up and bad down there. You know what I mean? Like, you know how you're not supposed to take a lot of, you know, it's just messed up and bad.

Like the plumbing, the plumbing works. Aesthetically, it's not so great. We've seen better.

I'm cutting back on that. But no, but the colon was great. I did this cuz I turned 45 and James Vanderbeek has been raising awareness about about uh getting getting these screenings done. 45 is the cut off for mine cuz cuz James has been uh uh uh raising awareness of colon cancer and I wanted to get it out and ahead of it. I got a clean bill of health and when you turn 45 if you haven't got a colonoscopy yet and you also haven't seen Predator Killer of Killers yet.

Sure. Or Avatar Fire and Ash cuz it really juices or Avatar Fire and Ash would be actually a actually that would be a when it's available to stream on home video that would be an excellent late night a colonoscopy. Maybe not during the colonoscopy, but while you're drinking the juice, for sure. Like the number of run I mean it'd be run run pee from the butts, which is a different app that we're starting and we're going to be sued out of existence by

you. Got to have clear water pee from water. Is it too late to change the theme of the year?

I didn't want to touch 2020 drip 2020 drips. Clear water pee from the butt. We're not changing the year.

It's so good, you guys. I don't know. How are you feeling? One week out. Actually, we recorded that what almost two weeks out now. How are you guys feeling about it?

I love it. I'm loving it. I've been living more. It's great. The more I live with it, the more I love it. I I have been, as you guys know, I'm very active on MySpace and I've seen some questions about who the big boy is.

Oh my god. And I thought this was self-explanatory. We said it's a boy at a hospital.

A boy in a hospital who's counting on you to stick to your goals for the year, right?

Yeah. I maintain I maintain that the big boy could also be like inside of you like the witness of you like your consciousness or whatever. And I maintain that for the right price it could literally be fresh's big boy if they would just pick up the phone and call. So I want you all to put listeners yourself in the mindset of that baseball player who the big boy is like just throw a heater just one heater for me. But maybe it's like the big boy's like, "Hey, you know how you've been thinking about learning French for a while. Do that for me. I'm dying."

Yeah. But it that but like don't get too hung up on that part. It's not a dying part. He's a imaginary boy.

Yeah. But you need to do it do it for someone. But even the imaginary boy shouldn't die. Like the boy in my girl is imaginary, but his death still causing great pain.

Maybe when he finally learn French, he won't die. Yeah, maybe. I mean, no. Are you trying to get to like a yearly submission cuz you realize that we do not have a way of ending this episode?

No. So, I'm glad that you brought that up, John, because part of my make it stick is to stick with the fierce because I really like it and I want to make that stick. That's

Oh, that's interesting. Interesting. We didn't discuss that beforehand. I think we're going to have to make it stick like stick the landing for the first time.

We'll make it stick. Just go back to Yahoo Answers. No problem. That would be good. That would be good. Hey, uh this is still an advice show. That's not changing. No, right. That is that's consistent. That that will not that will not change. Uh and we're going to take your questions and turn them alchemy like into wisdom because that's that's it's our trade.

That's what we do. My wife and I that's what we do. That's what we do our job. My wife and I are starting to look at houses. I was afraid to look at them for a long time, too. I used to shield my eyes as my father would.

It's too much. My wife and I are starting to look at houses. says, "We got married in October." Yay. A realtor keeps sending us suggestions that only have one bathroom. This would be probably fine for a typical couple, but we both have IBS and need two plus bathrooms. It's a good plus there. The plus is doing some heavy lifting.

Uh, how do I tell the realtor that one bathroom just won't cut it? That's from problems in Providence. I mean, obviously you can tell your realtor that you'll really only need a home with two two plus bathrooms. Please don't. Realtors will keep showing you [ __ ] Like, there is no amount of asking you can do or the realtor's not going to be like, "But maybe that I know that you guys both have pooping emergencies every day, but look how charming." And the price per square foot of this one is good. Sorry about the poop emergency thing, but I am going to show it to you.

There's no way. But like if you say, "Uh, I need two bathrooms." And if they say why, you had to have an answer prepared. What are you gonna You'll just freeze. You got to know why. I don't think there should be.

To be fair though, I don't feel like having two bathrooms is a wild request that you would need. Two bathrooms, la duh. Why?

Yeah, but obviously they obviously they felt like they needed to justify it at some point. If you guys want to continue to challenge the premise of the existence of the question, we can, but it feels like it might be more fruitful to just

truck truck right through. This never comes up on like House Hunters or House Hunters International or House Hunters Beachfront or House Hunters I don't know

is they're never the requests are never like how many bedrooms or bathrooms they need.

Yeah. It's always So maybe if you throw out like eight weird things that you need and two bathrooms and then you're willing to let go of the eight weird things as long as there are two bathrooms there.

Yeah, I don't think they let you do that. I think they want if you're going to be on the show, you got to have weird stuff. They can't have you be on the show and be like, I take when my dumps come, they got to come now. And same for And same for the misses. So, I watched the House Hunters recently. I love when they do this. The guy was like, I love a a wide view. I want to be up high where I could see a lot of stuff. And the wife is like, my main thing I'm looking for is I'm scared of heights and I don't want to be up there at all. And they cut to the realtor. is like, "WHAT DO YOU WANT THIS [ __ ] GUY TO DO, MAN? WHAT DO I DO?" JOSH, YOU DON'T WANT TO BE ALONE. In the middle, you're both sad, right? There is no there's no winning for this house.

I got you a real sloped house where one side of a real low. I got you a one-story ranch style with a big periscope.

Big. I'm always on the I'm always looking for, you know, the producers trying to work their magic. This does feel like one of those cases where like fear of heights real. This guy like I just like to be up high sometimes. I think maybe a producer told you you feel that way. Maybe go somewhere. Nobody just like wants to be high a lot. There was one I saw where a guy's like refusal to like not if it has was not if it has too many outlets. Yeah.

Too many outlets. When has that ever been a problem for anybody? [ __ ] never, man. God damn. I we've moved a lot of our [ __ ] around for our video stuff and that involved me putting my desk in the center of my office where outlets don't live. I have been absolutely just pipe dreaming it to glory over here for the last week just running electricity just like a line a like county lineman am I making it work.

I think you should just tell your realtor that you have IBS. I think there's no stigma. IBS is so non-stigma in my mind at this point. Like there's so much other stuff and IBS has been around for so long. It's like, yeah, I'm one of the ones that has irritable bowels. If you're looking for a fun way to tell your realtor, bring him a six-ack of IBC root beer, but you've marked out the C and you've written in an S and it's like, I have something I need to tell you, but I think this will explain it all as you hand it to him, and you won't have to say anything.

Yeah. You you just need to invent another toilet purpose. Like it doesn't have you just like I need one for obvious and one to flush paints when I'm done with paint. I like to flush paints when I'm done with

We love keeping fish but we're so bad at keeping fish. Yeah. And we need one to be the graveyard toilet.

Cut it out the middle. We raise them in there. We Travis that would actually save a lot of time man. If the fish are in the toilet the fish die. Flush.

Flush. Done. Right. My the misses and I are making a real stinky potion and we need a a special cauldron just for that.

Who can afford these wine prices currently in this day and age? Well, I'm going to make my own.

You want me to just pour you pour my stinky potion fixings down the storm drain outside when I'm done with them? No way. I need I need a fixture for that.

You all right, Juice? H Yes. Sorry. My apple was about to roll off the table. So I looked down to catch

the apple. And then I look back. Is that how the apple ended up on the floor the first time?

I Griffin, if I knew if I had seen the apple fall the first time, I would have picked it up off the floor immediately.

Because I asked many times and you would have discovered gravity. It never came back to it. But I asked a few times, why did you have dead ass an apple on the floor? Like I've got stuff on the I've got a box here. I haven't opened and there's my controllers on the floor and like I've got stuff on the floor. There's let me check. Zero fresh edible produce. So like I had recently dropped it. It had recently

I have a knife on the floor. I don't know exactly when I didn't clock it falling exactly, but I had been enjoying it moments before

and then it ended up on the floor and then you picked it up off the floor. I don't want to I don't want to I realized when I was getting my colonoscopy I don't want to be stuck in a hospital bed. I got to take care of my engine, right? So, I'm getting an apple.

A lot more a small person. That's the smallest apple I've ever seen, my man. He's saying I'm making some big changes this year. One apple during my audio recording window.

Yeah. Let me see that. Let me see that bad boy. Beauty blog that [ __ ] Beauty blog that tiny apple.

It's actually Yeah, he's taking a couple bites out of there. JUST THAT'S HOLD IT still for me. You can see the exact sh That apple is as big exactly as Justin's mouth. One of your bites goes goes stem to stern on that thing.

Nope. Right in the right in the gum. You spit that out right now. Peepers. You're Galactis the apple eater. That's wild. Almost got it.

These are cool tricks. Oh god. Hold. Nope. This is what you get with video. WE SHOULDN'T HAVE VIDEO. That was the problem. [snorts]

I DROPPED A GODDAMN APPLE AGAIN. AND NOW IT'S DEFINITELY covered in something cuz it's wet with your mouth goop. But I'm hungry.

Yeah. I won't eat it during podcast though. That's huge. Yeah. I didn't realize this was Schmaners. I thought you're I didn't realize this turned into Smanners all of a sudden. Track was we all have to be so etiquated. Feel like we're on

our apples. Whoa. Griffin just Yeah, it feels like we're all on Schmaners, right guys?

I promised him two small apples. Ah, damn it. No, it's actually, man, somehow we end up with three bags of rockets. I'm just trying to get my kids to eat these tiny apples. I don't know. A few weeks ago, a package for the previous owners of my house showed up on on my doorstep. I brought it inside and waited about a week after which I opened it. When I I I opened I found a pair of Birkenstock slippers that fit my partner perfectly, so I gifted them to her. A few days after that, a note was slipped through my mail slot by the previous owner explaining that they mistakally had an exos present shipped to the wrong address and asking if I would text him to arrange picking up the slippers.

Brother, what do I do? A slippery situation in Baltimore. That's a boy, that's a slippery situation indeed. I put this question in because sometimes we get questions where we're like, "Oh, you [ __ ] up." You have to know you [ __ ] up.

Yeah. It's the clearest. Like, what did I do wrong? A week is not long enough. A week is not long enough.

Long enough. You know that, right? Week's not long enough. It's also mail fraud. Boom. We got you

before Christmas too is there's a few things about the timing here that is hugely sus. I would have definitely definitely given it until the new year at the very least.

You know what sometimes people on TikTok mispronounce words intentionally to build engagement because everyone in the comments will be like, "Hey, you said this wrong." This feels like a cry for help in that same sense, right? Like you you needed us to step in. Like you need I don't want to be I I worry it's a kink a little bit. It's like, you know what I mean? This person wants to get beat up in public. They want to get beat up in public.

One time I opened I got several huge boxes to my front door. I opened one of them. Inside is I believe 10 foam boogie boards. [ __ ] That I did not order but had been

I remember this. And maybe the strangest scam ever scammed like on my Amazon like to my card. I was able to get the charges

refunded to his home though, right? Like to my home like you got him. The perfect crime

and I was able to get the charges refunded. Still sitting in my garage. Yeah. Are three boxes of 10 to 12 foam boogie boards.

Uhhuh. that I don't know what to do with for fear that one day Amazon will contact me and say, "Hey, hey, we gave you the refund. We do need those back."

Well, Trav, when the big one comes, I think you'll be glad to have 10 premium boogie boards.

Yeah. I mean, 30 to 36. I can't remember the exact count. Griffin, I have enough for a child's classroom to get a boogie board

or for some sort of survival bunker. Floating survival bunker. the nose arc 2 boogie down

or if robots that only have like nerf level weapons attack. I've got a bunch of shields.

A week's not long enough. We've cut we've really harped on that. I do want a not long enough. I I do want to I don't want to I feel like you kind of made your own bed.

Shouldn't be our problem. But no, we're professional. That's not We're professionals. I know. I know. I know.

It's so hard because you messed up so bad really bad. This is hard on. Does your partner know how these Birkenstock slippers were?

Because one, you're not going You shouldn't take them back and then give them to him. You should get a new pair or something.

Got to get a new pair. Oh, damn it. The porch Oh, damn it. You know what it was? Them damn porch pirates got me.

I never got it. Now this is a lie. Damn porch pirates got me again. Yard. Yard. I never forgot it. So I don't know what you're talking about. Must have been the Buccaneers. Now, we do have if we ever get um questioned, we'll flip on you so hard.

The speed at which I will say, "Yeah, they emailed us. They got the slippers." That should be

We've been doing ads forstamps.com for so long. We're basically mandatory reporters when it comes to postal fraud. So,

there's very little fraud I care about, but it's postal fraud and fraud fraud. I think you got to replace the thing and then get and then give it to him. But god, that's a that's stressful because are you going to get the exact right one?

Also, can I tell you something else? You can't get that packaging back. You're You can

You have to go to Okay, you know what you have to do? You have to go to Amazon. You have to buy these for that person.

Yeah. Right. and then have them shipped to your to that former address, right? That's the only pos that's the only way out. And you better pray you can get it there quickly cuz if those damn things are on back order, it's going to be two to 3 weeks. You're going to have to come up with a pretty hefty lie as to why you haven't found them yet.

Dude, I'd love to help you out. It got Grinched. He did. He's really He came He got us good, dude. Your [ __ ] My [ __ ]

I'm on his trail and I think I'll catch up to him in two to three weeks. Your your Christmas tree is still up right there. Yeah, it's weird. He He only He only wants shoes. He's a [ __ ] He's nasty and weird. So, he wanted only the shoes. Hey, uh let's take a quick break and we're going to head on into the money zone.

I had an idea for a new kind of direction with the money zone. Oh. That I wanted to try. I thought we could do like an alter call.

Oh, where you guys give me some quiet like Amazing Grace in the background. Okay, I could get like Yeah, I Let me get Garage Band open on my phone while you start the copy points.

But now, hey everybody. I know we've had a lot of fun here today and a lot of you guys have already come to Squarespace and accepted your your trial with Squarespace. you tried Squarespace out, but I just feel I feel like out there there's still some people

uh and you know, you're thinking about it. You know what I mean? It's in your hearts, but you're not sure. And listen, yes, Squarespace gives you everything you need to offer services and get paid all in one place. We know that you get paid on time with professional onbrand invoices and online payments. And in your heart,

Griffin's almost ready for you to start traveling. You almost I'm almost there. I just I can't figure out how to change this.

Nope. Yeah, you get when you Okay. And plus, you could streamline your workflow.

I thought you said your piano is like within reach now with built-in appointment scheduling and email marketing tools and it's calling to you. You can feel it. I understand.

So, we're just going to do a couple more couple more stanzas here to give you a chance to consider their cutting edge designs, their award-winning templates, everything you need. Um I you know I accepted

Griffin is um thoughtfully changing the melody enough so we don't get automatic by the bots. He's like mixing it up a little bit and you know Squarespace has done so much for uh so much for me

so much changed my life. Squarespace has been there for me and I know that you're ready for Squarespace to be there for you to set you up with that website you need.

Give me the offer code. All right we're going to say it one last time. Head to squarespace.com/mybr for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code my brother, all one word, to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Amen. Is has gone fully Frampton comes alive over there.

Wow, that was pretty cool. And I think we should just do that from now on. Yeah, that felt good. Let's see. Squarespace, did you like that? You never tell us. Look at us, senpai. Senpai.

Senpai, just tell us if you're listening. Squarespace. Send us a message. The checks are still clearing, so something's got to be working. Respect me. Say, what's the trivia show where dreams come true?

It's got to be Go Fact Yourself. Legend in the house. We quiz celebrity contestants about topics they love,

then bring out surprise experts to delight and amaze. And then finally, tell us why you know and love the lyrics to the song Knocking Boots by Candyman.

Joining us tonight is a rapper and producer. It's Candyman. Candyman. This is among the greatest moments OF MY LIFE.

THIS IS one of mine, too. I love it. That's Go Fact Yourself. Twice a month, every month,

here on Maximum Fun. Since 2017, after every MAX fund drive, we've held a sale for Max Fund members where all of the proceeds go to a nonprofit. In December, we donated $43,000 to Transgender Law Center. 43,000. Thank you to all the Max Fund members who made this possible. Transgender Law Center champions the right of all transgender and gender non-conforming people to live freely, safely, and authentically. A mission that everyone at MaxF fund supports. If you'd like to learn more or make an additional donation, go to transgender law center.org. And for anyone who needs to hear this, you belong here.

You deserve to be able to be yourself, and we love you. Cool. [screaming] Squad. I want too much squad. Welcome to Bud Squad. It's a podcast within a podcast profiling lazy race in in brand eating. Uh there's a ton going on right now in the world of food and fast eating. Um I want to tell you guys though, I'm excited about Jenny's launching an ice cream collaboration with Bridgetgerton.

That's right. Bridgetgerton ice cream. The partnership, the collaboration that everyone has been waiting for for many, many years since Bridgetgerton was extremely popular. Uh,

now I've seen every episode of Bridgetton in existence. I think I'm the only person to have done that.

Yeah. So, and they're still making it, Trav. I assume. I can't wait for the Benedict season. Are you kidding me? He's my favorite. Second brother bit of just like a a a R scallion out there living his life, doing his art and whatever. I'm so excited. Are you kidding me?

I can't watch Bridgetgerton without eating ice cream. Well, Trav, they're going to capture the decadence of the Regency era and popular Netflix and Shaoland series uh with these two iced creams.

Making making his first appearance on 15th of January is Queen Charlotte Sponge. Royals have been immortalized in confections in Queen Charlotte sponge cake is Jenny's tribute to the fashionable and discerning monarch of the ton. Huh.

It is a brown sugar and almond buttercream ice cream filled with raspberry rose jam and honey sponge cake.

I'm just going to say Queen Charlotte, not really a um important figure in the books. I don't know if she's present in the books at all. Was wholly made up uh as a character. I mean, not made up. She was an existing person, but you know what I mean. Added for the TV show. So, we that they went that direction kind of a snub to the literary folk. Is is Bridgetgerton just sort of period piece entourage?

Discuss. Uh yeah. Is uh period piece OC in a lot of ways. Don't you [ __ ] dance.

That sounds extremely good. It is. It's fun. It's a fun show. That makes sense.

I watched I watched it at the beginning, Bridgetgerton, and then there was an entire episode that hung on a young lady being surprised by the idea of Jiz and not understanding the mysteries of J. This the the if you will, as Cindy and I have begun to refer to it, the secret of the ooze. And when she discovered the secret of the ooze, I was kind of done with Bridget Rit. I watched. IS IT LIKE to have hardened your heart that much, Justin? It's fun. It's innocent, but still sexy and fun and sexy and innocent and fun and sexy.

I was watching Bridgetton, but it lost me. That episode where a smoke monster came out of that lady's privates and killed a guy. Oh, I said I said check please. Actually, I was going to say that was lost, but I don't know what that was that you were watching, Griffin.

[snorts] It was Bridgetgerton season one when the smoke monster comes out of the

Was it a fan-made thing? No, it's like a pretty important plot point. Like the guy who got killed is like a big big character and I was his name.

Renley Baratheon. I think it was Cowboy Curtis. I might be No, they were together so they they Yeah, they could turn into one another at will. Yeah.

Okay. Uh, for the second release, they're doing an Earl Gay creme brulee ice cream, which is as fun to say.

Hell yeah, it is. Yeah. Wrapping the favorite tea blend enjoyed by the ton into

What character is that? Yeah, the t that's like the aristocrats of the like uh society.

Um, here's the thing. What character is that based on? That's just tea. You know, tea. They're like te This is an interesting twist Janice has done. They've given us a it's like a quote

but they haven't sourced it to anybody if that makes sense. This is the next last paragraph in this

for this collaboration. Jenny's was inspired by the fantastical decadence of the Regency era brought to life in the scenes of Bridgetgerton. It was essential that the flavors feel like an extension of the essence of the show. romantic, indulgent, and captivating ice creams that would linger long after they were gone and to which you cannot wait to return whether you're a Bridgetgerton fan or not. I mean, probably the if you're a Bridgetgerton fan one.

Probably that though, right? Probably that one would be what you would stick with more.

That quote was actually from Jonathan Bailey, star of Bridget. He he's a big champion of this Ice Cream Bridgetton crossover. He's been pushing for it for years now in all of his interviews. Uh I also wanted this is more of a an alert. I did want to let everybody know that uh uh Subway is doing protein pockets.

All right. What's that mean? Yeah, you can Yeah, you can sync it. They're protein pockets. They're packed with 20 grams more than 20 grams of protein in these little tortillas. And uh here's the quote about it because um Dave Scann is up in the mix. Getting more protein in their diet is important to so many people, but too often that protein is expensive or fried. I like that part cuz that's Subway saying like what isn't our food? Like they're trying to go like one of the two things. What isn't us?

Wait, has Dave not expensive? Has Dave Scana always been at Subway? No, he used to be donuts. Yeah, good for him.

Dave Skenna. Yeah, he he relocated. Used to be with Crispy Creamy. Now he's with Subway.

Justin, I want to tell you what's bothering me. I've never read about Dave Skenna before, so I was not aware of Dave Skenna.

So far in this alert, they have not specified what the protein is in a way that makes me wildly uncomfortable from a company known for questionable ingredients in one of their sandwiches. Yeah, they've run.

Baja chicken, pepperc corn ranch chicken, Italian trio, and turkey and hum. Getting more protein in your diet is h turkey and hum. Turkey and hum. Turkey and ham.

All too often, that protein is is expensive or fried. With Subway's new protein pockets, they can get over 20 grams of protein for $3.99 without sacrificing taste.

And with our new Sub of the Day lineup. Yeah. Or or your child. You're not going to sacrifice anything. No sacrifice. This is a subway.

You have to sacrifice $4.99 at the altar. Yeah. Oh, also we're replacing all of our point of sales with altars.

So that's going to be throw you off a little bit. And we're we're now only accepting zel and blood magic. Those are the only two currencies.

Zeni, zel or blood magic or ass or grass or cash. Nobody eats Subway for free. I've been a manager for around a year now in the chemistry lab I work in. In one of the recent meetings with the rest of management team, I happened to glance over at the laptop of a person sitting next to me and saw that they were in a team chat titled young hip managers. I would like to think I'm reasonably hip. I'm also the youngest manager in the building. What can I do to subtly imply that I'm cool enough to be invited to the secret group chat? That's from young but not hip enough in Ann Arbor. Oh, that's tough.

That's a tough one. Th nobody wants to think they're not young and cool and hip. See, this is difficult because for me, I both know that I am neither young enough nor hip enough to be in a group chat that seems to be living by those ideals.

But if it was like a strong strong guys, like you saw a chat strong guys, right? And you're like, you look over and you're like, "Hey, wait, strong guy." If it was strong guy purple hair,

I'd be like I definitely have purple hair. It said if it said that you've been Truman showed and you need to stop cuz that's gone too far, right? That that's so they're doing a prank on you.

But then but then you look over and someone's got they're on a a thread called limp dick idiots and you're like I'm glad I'm not IN THAT ONE.

YEAH. [screaming] YOU KNOW, count your blessings. Count your blessings. Cool. Awesome. I'm unalous. Maybe it's ironic. Maybe they It's like they they're kind of like the old boring managers. Okay. But they want So they're like the level of selfawareness there

like a winky sort of like we're the ones that suck. Yeah. We're old. Can I get in that? You don't want in this.

You can't. It's They're so old. So we're actually doing it. You don't understand.

You don't want in this. I struggle with a part of this question which is that you know you're not a part of this group chat and when you share that information with us you say I happen to glance over at the laptop of the person sitting next to me that suggests maybe you don't know who that person was and therefore why would you be in a group why would you be in a group chat with them is there anything

the young hit managers are planning young hit manager things I guess so maybe maybe Maybe it's fantasy football managers and it has nothing to do with work. Yeah. Oh, that's Isn't that tricky when you find yourself in a fantasy football chat? That happened over the holidays a couple times. I realized two to three people around me were talking about fantasy football and then if I stood there for long long enough, they were going to ask me to join or they might just sign me up. I don't know how you get in fantasy football. It keeps happening to me. Me neither, man.

Uh I I keep ending up in these leagues and I don't know how it happened. So, I try to be really careful about everything I do from now on whenever football comes out. For me, it's like I don't know how I keep contracting fantasy football.

For me, it's I keep getting group texts and I get messages from people whose numbers are not saved in my phone and they'll say [ __ ] like to Carter's looking pretty good this year and then an hour later I am invite I'm in a fantasy football league somehow.

Oh man, it's one of the earliest signs. You know, if you can get to it quickly, you can actually reverse all the uh the symptoms.

Time lost is time lost AS I ALWAYS SAY. [gasps] CAN YOU do is there something you can do at your chemistry lab that would be [ __ ] cool? Can you like spin a flask or like

Oh yeah, vape some chemistry fumes. Light your vape on a Bunson burner and people be like that's you shouldn't that shouldn't fire at all, my man. You're out. Get out of here.

First strike. You're out. That's so stupid. Don't do that. Yeah. I I don't know that I've ever been added to a group chat and been excited to be like there's some where I'm like, "Yeah, okay. I'm happy to be here. This is fine." The idea of wanting to be added to a group chat that you were living your life perfectly fine not being a part of before. Unless you're just like, "It's not about the group chat. I don't want to be in the group chat." I would immediately mute it.

Yeah. But why aren't I a part of it? If I'm talking to two of my friends and I'm like, "You guys remember the movie Dun Checks In?" And then the next day, one of them has invited me to a group chat called Dunston Lovers. It's like this would didn't need to be a we didn't need to silo this particular conversation off. This could be part of

why is it on the dark web? Why are there so many layers of security on Dunston lovers?

What's going on with this lab that we need so many goddamn managers anyway, man?

What is at this lab that we need a stratification of management? It's a chemistry lab. Is the person sitting next to you even a manager? Maybe there's a group chat to talk about how cool and hip their young managers are. They're in there talking about how great you are. That's why you're not

It's like a tiger. It's like an issue of tiger beat about young managers like who what which manager has the dreamiest eyes. It's pruning. We love him. He's hugely problematic. Of course.

Yeah. Maybe they're chatting with their physical therapist for a pelvic injury that they suffered and then and so now they're they have to learn from their young hip manager. That's not any That's not anything.

That might have been it, Griffin. You don't know. No, that's not that. Maybe they're organizing um snacks by brand and it actually said Young Chip managers and you just misread it.

Could be. Could be. There's any number of reasons why you wouldn't be involved in a group chat that don't involve you not knowing the people in the group chat. But if you started wearing a backwards baseball cap and you made people like you made people ask and when they did ask you say I saw

[ __ ] No, you can't because you can't be like I was looking at a there's nothing less hip than looking at a neighbor's laptop. I mean,

yeah, that's the bad, you know? It's just not hip. It wasn't hip that you looked. And you can't say like I saw it cuz it's like so not hip.

Here's what you're going to do. You're going to go to these other managers and you're going to say, "I'm thinking about starting a group chat for us young hit managers."

Oh, yikes. Would you guys be interested? Say the exact, you know, you got to change it.

Yeah. No, I heard it out loud. Yeah. Well, I'm starting a group chat for us youthful sexy cool crazy, sexy, cool managers.

I I think it's got to be more organic. I think you got to do cool experiments. I think you got to show up next day. Make an elephant toothpaste. Point at it. Point at everyone else. Point at it again. Like to check my Hey, check it. Mark Robbert. Uh, you

Yeah. Start like a robot fight club. Start a robot fight club in your chemistry. We're getting a little bit far from the the exact

Well, no, you wouldn't want to do it. That's separate from work, Griffin. Work still needs to happen. You know, manager is still a part of the young hit managers. Griffin.

No. Yeah, I know. But this is specifically at work. And so I don't know why is this like are they getting paid to manage it? Is it like the safety patrol? Like what is with all these managers?

Maybe it's like a team like an equipment manager where they're they're like making sure that everybody has all the chemicals and powders and reagents that they need access to.

I want to I want to highlight one detail in this that I've just noticed. It it I in one of the recent meetings with the rest of the management team is when this happened. You got some really I think it is hugely hugely rude to be in a meeting of other managers and be in your young hip managers chat. That is cruel because you know that mar that room someone's going to see. Like if you're trying to keep it secret, what is wrong with you?

Yeah. Are you sure there were other people in this group chat with this person and not just them talking to themselves about how young and hip and cool they are?

Yeah. Right. Uh, another question. Okay. We've been in the house we're renting for 5 years. Four years ago, I had a baby and I didn't tell my landlord. It's a boy.

When lease renewal came, I didn't want to tell them we had a whole extra person in the house we never mentioned. Now, we're looking for a bigger place and our landlord has a great place in the exact area we want to live. How do I introduce our four-year-old without it being weird? That's from not kidding around. So many great great options. So many ways to pretend like the you just kind of added a fouryear-old to the

Can we do it? I would like to pause it to ask us. Can we do it without accidentally tiptoeing into gaslighting?

No. I mean, that'll tie our We could. It'll tie our hands behind our back in a major way. Are we worried about like doing bad stuff to a landlord?

No. Gaslighting is obviously not great, but to a landlord landlord. I mean I here

what if he just says say say this is my short uncle. Cool. I'm just saying this is my building on that. This is my short uncle.

He's not huge on English yet. Mhm. He is my uncle and I am taking care of him. Mhm.

From his Benjamin Button disease. I would like very much. That doesn't make any sense.

Have any questions about that? Benjamin Benjamin Button is not about a very short man who aged the normal way and was four at four.

Yes. If anything, right, you'd be dealing with, if my math is correct, like 96 year old four year old.

You guys, what did did we not say basic competent stage makeup assumed? Like that's assumed.

Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Assumed. Um I think short uncle's really promising. Who is that? Would you also be surprised that the four-year-old is there?

Why do you got to OH GOD. WHAT? WHY do you need to introduce your four-year-old?

Why not keep the con going? Why not keep the con roll rolling? You do not need to own up to this.

The longer you go, the funnier it is. Like, if you can make it to 10, that's quite a prestige. I got to say

10. They're not going to know. You know, James, you know. What are you talking? How did you miss the fact that we had a son for this long? A child. Congressman,

he's been around for a while is what I'm saying at that point. Sure, I understand. Yeah. Yeah.

Um, there's always a trench coat. You can always Sure. You can always stand on the kids shoulders, then wear a big trench coat.

Stand on the kids. Well, it sounds like if you could always stand on the kids shoulders, then wear a big trench coat. Pretend to be one person, one taller person. Then you told the landlord, "I got taller over the summer. I got the surgery to make you taller, but I'm wearing the trench coat to cover up the scars."

Yeah, you could. Uh, now I've never seen The Odd Life of Timothy Green, but I've heard people talk about it. Say, "You grew him." Is that the one with Lyn Manuel Miranda? Is it? I think it's Jennifer Garner in it. You grew him.

And yeah, you planted a boy. You grew him. Yeah, he grew. He's only like 3 days old. Uh, you got good soil. You grew a boy.

You grew him. Do you get charged more for a lease when you have a a child living there, too?

Or you maybe it's more of a social situation of it's embarrassing you didn't introduce them and now it's gone off.

I didn't know when to bring it up. You didn't know where to bring it up. I think that that's that's reasonable and now it's like it's weird. Yeah, I get it. I think it's fine. Trench coat.

One trench coat. Uh trench coat's okay. Can we can is there any wiggle room in the stacking order? Because I think that putting an adult on top of the four-year-old's shoulders,

Griffin, I know what you're saying, dude. I know. But the alternative is I know it's a four-year-old's head and arms coming out of the huge giant body.

It's It was almost enough to make me consign that idea to the dustpin of history and not say it because both options, both both permutations of it are illogical and bad.

But it had already left the gate. You know what I mean? So, I just had to back the horse.

Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, what about this? This is my child security guard. I've been threatened by a lot of children in the neighborhood lately, and I can't get adults to beat up those children. So, I hire this child as a bodyguard. Yes. To beat up other children for me.

A reverse drill bit Taylor Benjamin Button situation. Yes. Drill bit Taylor Jr. where he licenses his son out as drill bit button

where he hires kid a kid a strong kid to kick bully kids asses. That feels borderline criminal. Taylor drove a Taylor, too, when he's like 95. He's like, he needs protection cuz he and he hires a kid to protect him like a strong kid.

Yeah, I just I'm 95. I just started playing Fortnite. I'm getting absolutely [ __ ] [ __ ] on. I need to hire the coolest 14-year-old at the high school to be my Fortnite drill bit Taylor.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Make it, Hollywood. Fortnite. I know you guys are doing all kinds of media stuff. This is This one's free.

Splash Jug Taylor. Yes. Splash Jug Taylor. It's not going to get any better than that.

Thank you so much for listening to our our podcast, My Brother. My brother and me. It's this one. The one you're enjoying. You just enjoyed.

Uh couple quick announcements before we wrap up, folks. Yeah. Um Clubhouse will return January 27th at noon Eastern time. Uh, we're going to be streaming on the last Tuesday of each month from now on. Uh,

but Travis, what are we going to be doing all the other Tuesdays? Man, I'm so glad you asked, Justin, because it was the next thing in the bullet points that we're doing a Super Macroy Brothers video game stream uh next Tuesday, January 20th at noon Eastern time. Uh, it's going to stream all the other Tuesdays, plus a bunch of other video game content on our YouTube, all under the Mac Entertainment System umbrella. So, make sure you check that out. Also, we got some merch.

You can follow that Maroy Entertainment System on Instagram. Yes, good call. Uh, we've got some merch over in the Maroy merch store. Besties tiebreaker coin featuring the one and only New York Giraffe. And 10% of all merch proceeds this month will be donated to the immigrant defenders Law Center. Uh, so make sure you check that out at macroymerch.com.

And now for my name's Justin Mroy. We still have to thank We got to thank you Montine for the use theme song, My Life Is Better With You. Uh, it's a it's a fantastic track and the fact that I'm like terrified that I don't know what's gonna happen next doesn't detract from the fact that I'm just a huge uh big fan of it. I was thinking so for the ending that Griffin could give us like a little motivational speech as the big boy um asking for the heater just to kind of establish a tone like Griffin like a sick Victorian child. Anyways,

I was thinking I would pick something up off my desk and throw it at the wall as hard as I possibly could. Oh,

and just like the sound of that. Hey, Griffin, that's okay. Do you like that? The end of every episode this year will be one of us throwing something at a wall to see if it sticks.

I'll get the I got the mic against the wall now. So, this is my lens. Don't throw the mic, dude.

I'll use my lens cap. Here's my lens. And I won't be able to hear. I got to take my headphones off cuz I'm going to go around. I'm going to go behind the desk and just absolutely absolutely hum this [ __ ] thing.

Okay, dude. Absolutely buzz. Sick, man. Sick. This is good. This is good podcast. I like this energy.

THREE, TWO, ONE. My name is Justin Maroy. I'm Travis Maroy. Yeah, that was good. I'm Travis Maroy.

I'm Griffin Maroy. My brother better than I Yeah. Kiss your dad square on the lips.

Lens cap. This is good. This is good. My life. It's better. It's better with you. It's better. My life. It's better. It's better with you. Cuz it's true. It's better. It's better with two.

It's better with you. Maximum Fun, a workerowned network of artist owned shows supported directly by

Questions about this episode

Who speaks in "MBMBaM 796: Wire and Ass"?

Justin McElroy (Guest), Travis McElroy (Guest), Griffin McElroy (Host).

What is "MBMBaM 796: Wire and Ass" about?

In this episode, the Mroy brothers humorously discuss the absurdity of their own qualifications while offering offbeat advice on various topics, blending personal anecdotes with playful banter. Their self-deprecating humor and silliness create a light-hearted atmosphere, with discussions ranging from unusual experiences, like watching a movie during a colonoscopy, to the joys of unexpected…

What is mentioned in this The McElroy Family episode?

22 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Klay Travis, Avatar Fire and Ash, Avatar, Bridgerton, Jenny's, IBS. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "MBMBaM 796: Wire and Ass"?

The episode runs 53 min; the transcript is about 10,405 words in 257 timestamped sections.

More from The McElroy Family

About this transcript: the episode's spoken words as captioned on YouTube, split into timestamped sections. Reclip.Me locates every person, work and idea in the text, keeps the time it is first named, and quotes the words around it verbatim. Last updated January 24, 2026.