How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains - John Assaraf

What is discussed, and when

1. 0:00 – 10:00: Toronto, Jeffrey 71st – Miller, Charles, Montreal, Canada
2. 10:00 – 20:00: self-image, Affirmation, Alpha brainwave state, Cadillac Sedan DeVille
3. 20:00 – 30:00: Mr. Alan Brown, Allen Brown Real Estate Company, Frankenstein's Monster, visualization
4. 30:00 – 40:00: Rubik's Cube, Affirmation, AI platforms, marathon
5. 40:00 – 50:00: marathon, Frankenstein's Monster, Toronto
6. 50:00 – 1:00:00: Flow State, automaticity, hospice, Rocking Chair Test
7. 1:00:00 – 1:06:13: Exceptional Life Blueprint, App Store, Facebook, Instagram

Notable quotes from "How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains - John Assaraf"

• One died. And he introduced me to this one guy and this guy was a real estate developer in Toronto, Canada. I was living in Montreal and he asked me if I would meet this guy…

  about Toronto · at 1:46

• Questions? and he gave me this document. And the first question when I flipped over the page, Charles, was at what age do you want to retire? And I'm excuse me, what am I…

  about Jeffrey 71st – Miller, Charles · at 2:54

• Our bodies. We can rebuild, we're both athletes. We're I'm a triathlete. You can rebuild your bodies and how you move. People don't understand that you can actually reshape your brain. And you go through and there's this thing called.

  about triathlete · at 7:58

• And passive. So we know we have propensities. but we also know that a child is not born with a self-image or beliefs that they're good enough, not good enough, too white, too…

  about self-image · at 9:21

• I coined this term. So, let me take you back to, when Mr. Alan Brown became my mentor, right? So, the goals that he had me set, right? he had me rewrite them afterwards in a form of a story.

  about Mr. Alan Brown · at 15:07

• Truth and you are consciously trying to plant these new seeds, these new affirmations, affirming these new language patterns in your own subconscious.

  about Affirmation · at 16:59

• Me, and I got this one easily. He said, when you visualize, he said, visualization is a mental and emotional simulation.

  about visualization · at 19:36

• Great. What about health? If you want to lose weight and keep it off, you want to run a marathon, you want to do a triathlon, you want to have a better relationship in every area of health wealth relationships career business spirituality.

  about marathon · at 32:42

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

• Jeffrey 71st – Miller, Charles — Person · 4 mentions · first at 2:59
• Mr. Alan Brown — Person · 3 mentions · first at 15:09
• John Asaroff — Person · 1 mention · first at 0:06
  Today's guest, John Asaroff, proves that's the biggest limitation holding you back. The show starts now.
• Michael Merzenich — Person · 1 mention · first at 10:06
  Michael Merzenich, who's a friend now, discovered because we were able to look deeper into the human brain and analyze a human brain in real time or through slicing a brain after somebody.
• Neil Armstrong — Person · 1 mention · first at 19:57
  Your brain is actually firing those same neurons. And my friend today, Dr. Dennis Weightley, he worked with Neil Armstrong. Okay. Getting him prepared to go to the moon.
• Dr. Dennis Waitley — Person · 1 mention

Companies & orgs

• Phillips Electronics — Company · 1 mention · first at 2:03
  And maybe he would give me a job. And at the time I was working for that big electronics company called Phillips Electronics. And I was working in the shipping department…
• Allen Brown Real Estate Company — Company · 1 mention · first at 28:30
  Hi, this is John Asar with Allen Brown Real Estate Company. We have somebody's looking to buy a home in the neighborhood. Have you thought about making a move?
• Innercise.com — Company · 1 mention
• JohnAsaraf.com — Company · 1 mention
• NeuroGym — Company · 1 mention
• Zoom — Company · 1 mention

Products & tech

• Rubik's Cube — Product · 2 mentions · first at 33:16
  One of the visuals I like to give people is have you ever tried to solve the Rubik's cube?
• Exceptional Life Blueprint — Product · 2 mentions · first at 1:01:14
  The one thing that I want I really want to like leave people with is in front of me I have my exceptional life blueprint and one of the things that I do that I encourage everybody to do regardless of whether you learn it like I start.
• Mercedes-Benz — Product · 1 mention · first at 3:50
  Put a few million. So, I put 3 million. the next question is, what kind of car do you want? Mercedes-Benz, convertible. What kind of house do you want? Oh, four bedroomedroom house, twocar garage.
• Cadillac Sedan DeVille — Product · 1 mention · first at 15:39
  Story. I'm now living in my dream four-bedroom home. I'm driving. At the time I said I wanted a Cadillac Sedan Deville. I'm helping take care of my I wrote this onepage story…
• AI platforms — Product · 1 mention · first at 33:08
  We can have at our fingertips in 5 seconds on, chatpt or one of the AI platforms. So, how to exist? And one of the visuals I like to give people is have you ever tried to solve the Rubik's cube?
• Innercise App — Product · 1 mention

Concepts & topics

• self-image — Concept · 4 mentions · first at 9:26
• marathon — Concept · 4 mentions · first at 32:46
• triathlete — Concept · 3 mentions · first at 8:01
• Affirmation — Concept · 3 mentions · first at 17:03
• visualization — Concept · 3 mentions · first at 19:40
• Frankenstein's Monster — Concept · 2 mentions · first at 21:44
  Curious what they mean to you. When you've got Albert on one side and you've got Frankenstein's monster on the other, what is what do you have as the difference?
• Flow State — Concept · 2 mentions · first at 50:12
  Now the neurochemistry of fear is actually required in a flow state.
• Alpha brainwave state — Concept · 1 mention · first at 17:45
  An affirmation okay embeds into the subconscious mind when you do it and we didn't have the term like an alpha brainwave state back then but we all know like gears in a car if…
• automaticity — Concept · 1 mention · first at 51:39
  And automaticity is effortless to the human brain. Whereas consistency initially is effort more, but it becomes a pattern. It becomes a habit. One of the things that people waste more than.
• hospice — Concept · 1 mention · first at 52:03
  You got an hourglass. People waste time as if it's this limitless resource. I spent eight years in a hospice watching people die. So time for me, everyone's Oh, your health is your wealth.
• Rocking Chair Test — Concept · 1 mention · first at 57:58
  Be worth it? Part one. Part two, I can get them. For example, if I was to sit you in a rocking chair, right? a rocking chair test. Now, let's take you to close to the end of…
• Law of Goya — Concept · 1 mention · first at 1:03:28
  And then I get this physical body, right, into what I call is the law of Goya, right? The law of Goya is the get off your ass law and take action now.
• Beta, Theta, Delta, Gamma brainwaves — Concept · 1 mention
• habit formation — Concept · 1 mention
• Impostor Syndrome — Concept · 1 mention
• Innercise — Concept · 1 mention
• Self-trust — Concept · 1 mention

Places & events

• Toronto — Place · 5 mentions · first at 1:51
• Montreal — Place · 3 mentions · first at 1:54
  This one guy and this guy was a real estate developer in Toronto, Canada. I was living in Montreal and he asked me if I would meet this guy for lunch and maybe he would give me…
• Canada — Place · 1 mention · first at 1:51
  One died. And he introduced me to this one guy and this guy was a real estate developer in Toronto, Canada. I was living in Montreal and he asked me if I would meet this guy…
• Maldives — Place · 1 mention

Sponsors

• YouTube — Sponsor · 2 mentions · first at 34:31
  Right yeah you want to learn how to do this go to YouTube right now you'll have this done in 10 minutes this will take a lot longer, but there are people that will teach you step by step. And if you're.
• App Store — Sponsor · 1 mention · first at 1:00:42
  Techniques with experts videos training and they can get that on inner size.com or my app or the app store. I'm on Instagram. I do a ton of YouTube videos to show people things…
• Instagram — Sponsor · 1 mention · first at 1:00:45
  Videos training and they can get that on inner size.com or my app or the app store. I'm on Instagram. I do a ton of YouTube videos to show people things that they can do to set…
• Facebook — Sponsor · 1 mention · first at 1:00:51
  Of YouTube videos to show people things that they can do to set goals and achieve goals. I'm on Facebook. I'm on all the social media channels and they can find a whole bunch of my articles on you know my website johnasf.com.
• Innercise.com — Sponsor · 1 mention
• JohnAsaraf.com — Sponsor · 1 mention

Full transcript with timestamps

0:00 Welcome to the Proven Podcast, where it does not matter what you think, only what you can prove. Everyone says you can't change who you are at your core. Today's guest, John Asaroff, proves that's the biggest limitation holding you back. The show starts now.

0:12 All right, everybody. Welcome back. I'm excited to talk to John. John, thank you for being on the show.

0:16 I am so happy to be here with you and it's going to be a lot of fun. There's a lot of things we're going to go over and a lot of people might not know who you are and what you've done and you've done some really radical things and we're going to get into a lot of those things, but I want to make sure people kind of know who are you, what have you done, give everybody an update if they happen to not know you.

0:34 Maybe I should start off with um how I got to what I've done. Um listen, I think I'm a um an average guy

0:43 who is very passionate about living an extraordinary life. And so I've been focusing on, you know, how can I live a better than average life, an extraordinary life. And one of the reasons I I made that one of my focuses is when I was in school as a kid, uh I fell behind by two years. I failed English. I failed math. I left high school at grade 11. My father was an alcoholic who used to beat me and my brother. Uh my mother was kind seamstress and they always struggled struggled in a relationship struggled with money and uh there was never enough money at the end of every month and um I didn't do well in life as a kid and I got in trouble with the law. Uh sold drugs, did drugs, did breaking in entries, uh was in junior detention halls a couple of times and that's kind of like my teen years. And at the age of 19, my brother who was concerned for my well-being, specifically not going to jail or uh dying, uh one of the friends

1:44 I was hanging with went to jail. Another one died. And um he he introduced me to this one guy and this guy was a real estate developer in Toronto, Canada. I was living in Montreal and um he asked me if I would meet this guy for lunch and maybe he would give me a job. And at the time I was working for that big electronics company called Phillips Electronics. And I was working in the shipping department making a $165 an hour, opening boxes, putting boxes away, on the truck, off the truck, and I hated it.

2:16 I took the train from Montreal to Toronto. Uh met this gentleman for lunch and he asked me what I wanted to achieve in my life. And uh I said, "Well, I'd like to make more than $165 an hour. I'd like to move out of my parents house and I'd love to buy a car cuz I'm tired of taking the bus and the subway here in freezing cold Montreal in the winter. And he said, "It's all great. Um, but what are some bigger goals and dreams you have?" I said, "Uh, I I don't have any." And this was a pivotal moment in my life because he he he said to me, he said, "Would you mind doing me a favor since we're going to be talking about maybe you coming to work for me?" I said, "Well, sure." He said, "Um, can you fill out the answers to these questions?" and he gave me this document. And the first question when I flipped over the page, Charles, was at what age do you want to retire? And I'm like, uh, excuse me, uh, what what am I

3:07 supposed to put over here? He go, pick a number. And I was 19 at the time. And so, uh, I said, like, what's a good number? He says, pick, you know, 20, 30 years. And I said, is like 45. Okay. He goes, sure, put it down. Um, the next question was, um, upon retirement, how much net worth do you want to have? I'm like, net worth? I, excuse me, sir. Um, what does net worth mean? And he explained to me what net worth. I said, "Okay, how much should I put there?" He goes, "Well, uh, you're going to need probably a few million dollars, you know, if you want to retire at 45 and, um, you're going to live to probably, you know, 75 or so." Um, he said, "So, um, put a few million." So, I put 3 million. Uh, the next question is, what kind of car do you want? Mercedes-Benz, you know, convertible. What kind of house do you want? Oh, four bedroomedroom house, twocar garage.

3:56 Where do you want to travel? All over the world. Um, how do you want to dress with Italian clothes? Who do you want to help? My mother and father. I wrote down all of the answers to these questions. That was just a bunch of answers.

4:09 Yep. Just out of my ass. And um he looked at the the questionnaire and he said, "Well, this seems like it would be a great life, wouldn't And I said, "Yeah, it would be awesome." And the back of my head, I'm thinking, "But there's no way I'm going to achieve that. I don't know how to achieve that." And he asked me one question, Charles. And the answer to this one question changed my life. And here's what the question was. He leaned in. He looked at me and he says, "Son, are you interested in achieving these things or are you committed to achieving them?"

4:44 I'm like scratching my head. My brother's sitting next to me and I and I looked at him. I said, "Excuse me, sir. Uh, what's the difference?" He said, "Well, son, when you're interested, you allow all your present circumstances and your old results and stories and reasons and traumas and excuses, you allow those to control your present decisions and your focus." He said, "But when somebody becomes committed, I'll never forget this." He says they upgrade their identity to match the destiny. They upgrade their beliefs, their knowledge, their skills, their habits, and they become the person capable of achieving whatever they choose. He says, "And by the way, I've achieved all of the things you want and then some. So, son, are you interested or are you committed?"

5:37 I don't know why, Charles. I was cocky 19year-old. Well, I said, "Well, in that case, um, I'm committed." And he reaches out his hand. He says, "Wonderful, young man. Then I will be your mentor." And I said, "Wow, thank you. Uh, what what's a mentor? Explain to me what a mentor did." I ended up moving from Montreal to Toronto. I ended up working for him in his real estate company on commission only. I went from $165 to zero.

6:05 Mhm. But he taught me um uh how to develop the identity of somebody who is successful. He taught me how to train my brain to believe that I could achieve the goals that I want to achieve. He taught me how to create a plan, simple plan for every goal that I want to achieve. He said there is a process to achieve it. And so I said, "Okay, well you're driving the Mercedes. You have the beautiful house. You have real estate offices. You have 700 people working for you. I'll do what you say. So, I moved to Toronto, lived with my brother, went to real estate school, got my real estate license, went to work for him, and over six months, I made $31,000 for me. And he also made $31,000 for him because I gave him half of what I made.

6:53 And he kept teaching me over the next year after that. And I ended up making $300,000 gross. gave him I think it was 150,000 for him, 150,000 for me and I died and gone to heaven at 21 because he taught me a process and I never had a process. So that changed my life. And so we can start with some some of those structures um and understanding maybe my journey over the last 43 years since then or 44 years since then. So I I I love that you talk about this in a way that most people don't. People will talk about strategies. They'll talk about tactics.

7:34 They'll talk about, hey, there's these ideas, but your mentor and the same something that you and I agree with is you have to start with the who. You have to start with this identity. Who are you? And how does that person show up? Because to your point, there's a difference between, hey, I'm interested in becoming financially free and I'm committed. When you're committed to do something, you're willing to dive. You're willing to go all in and your brain will start asking different questions. And one of the things is people understand that we can rebuild our bodies. We can rebuild, you know, we're both athletes. We're I'm a triathlete. You can rebuild your bodies and how you move. People don't understand that you can actually reshape your brain. And you go through and there's this thing called neuroplasticity. And it's something that you really do a really amazing job on.

8:14 And there's this way to have exercise within you because we all follow, hey, we're going to go to the gym and we're going to go lift weights up. But you've you've mastered a different way of of kind of doing that and interacting with that because you understand it starts with your identity and then I'm going to give you strategies because I think to your point if your mentor said okay here's the strategies how to go sell but if you are interested you're not going to commit you're not going to you're not going to get results but if you're committed he could have given you half as many strategies but I don't think people understand what neuroplasticity is and they obviously don't understand how to exercise that inside of their brain. So could you explain to us what neuroplasticity is and how you actually can achieve it as well?

8:52 Sure. We used to believe that um we were born and and scientists call this hardwired. You know, you you're born and you're just like your mother, you're just like your father or you you're just like your grandfather or your aunt, right? And uh we know you know through a lot of the research now that we all have these genetic propensities like when we're born we have these character traits. Some kids are shy, some kids are aggressive, some you know might be a little meaner than others, some are kind and passive. So we know we have propensities. Um but we also know that a child is not born with a self-image um or beliefs that they're good enough, not good enough, uh too white, too black, too Asian, whatever. We don't have any beliefs. We don't have an identity. We don't have a fear of anything. We and we certainly don't have any knowledge or skills. You know, we might have not might. We we have the

9:48 propensity to maybe suckle on mom's boob, right? To get milk on on a bottle, but that's a genetic, you know, millions of years of evolution um autonomic part of our being. So when we talk about neuroplasticity, it was only about 25 years ago, a guy by the name of Dr. Michael Merzenich, who's a friend now, um discovered uh because we were able to look deeper into the human brain and analyze a human brain in real time or through slicing a brain after somebody was dead, we can actually see that our brain has got cells. We know that there's I call them like marbles like 75 you know billion marbles and these marbles make connections

10:33 and we used to believe that we were born hard and these connections were already there and they discovered that that's not true. We're creating connections from the time we are born. You know, every time, you know, we hear, see, smell, taste, touch, um a parent says, "You're you're really wonderful. You're terrible. You'll never amount to much. You're going to become whatever you want." Um money is easy to make. No, money is really hard to make. Only, you know, uh wealthy people are all thieves. So, we develop these beliefs. And when we dive a little bit beneath the surface, we understand that a belief is nothing more than uh brain cells that have made connections that had then been reinforced. And the reinforced brain cells become stronger. Uh you talked about being an athlete and we've talked about you know being a triathlete and like you know when when we run when we lift weights we are strengthening

11:27 whether it's our cardiovascular system we're strengthening our legs our shoulders our our chest our glutes whatever it is we strengthen the muscle. Well what if we started to take a look at let's say self-image how I see myself. What if we looked at it as is that a muscle possibly like a neurom muscle?

11:47 Mhm. And some people have a healthy, strong, empowering selfimage and other people say, you know, I I'm not good enough. I'm not smart enough. I'm not worthy enough. Now, neither one is born that way. And so somewhere along the way, we develop these patterns in our brain that got reinforced. Now, here's where this gets really interesting. When we're born, this thing called the neuroplasticity switch. All right? In our brain, we have like switches. We have the motivational circuit turns on or turns off. Stress circuit turns on or turns off. Fear circuit turns on or turns off. So, there's these circuits in our brain like, you know, like your light in your in your room. Turn it on, turn it off.

12:33 Well, when we're born, this thing called the neuroplasticity switch is fully on and we're creating these connections, these meanings, these feelings, these smells. I like the way this broccoli tastes. I hate how it tastes. You know, we start to see, think, feel, and create these patterns that get reinforced from zero to about 13, 14. At around 14 years young, the research has shown that this switch goes off. And now we go into a reinforcement pattern where we reinforce the beliefs, the self-image, the fear of the snake or the fear of driving or the fear of sex or the fear of jumping out of a plane or of flying. So we reinforce these patterns and they get stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger. And the way the brain works is consistency compounds.

13:26 So when I think negatively over and over and over again, it compounds. When I feel disempowered, disillusioned, not good enough, not smart enough, not worthy enough, it compounds and then our brain just moves into keeping the patterns consistent to maintain identity and

13:46 right. Absolutely. And what I loved about this is you could take someone, they did a study, they scanned a bunch of brains, they put the scans in front of people and said, "You're not going to know who the person is. You're not going to know what they're connected to, but I want you to pick out the people who are depressed. I want people that have anxiety, people with ADHD. I want you to speak all these things and you walk through it and they literally showed the scans and within reason scientists were like oh this person's got this this person's got this this person's got that and then they went through a very specific process and they remode molded their brains and 6 months later they came back and say okay same brain completely different shape it's in a completely different environment and I don't think people truly understand that you can redesign your physical body your calves your legs your chest your arms as

14:26 much as you can do your body as well and more importantly they don't know how to do it they the concept of it they get like hey if I'm saying I'm not enough it's the old conversation if someone's sitting there going I can't lose weight I can't lose weight I can't lose weight I can't lose weight why can't I lose weight well because you just said it for you know forever but they don't have the methodology they don't have a way to go and go through say okay I understand meditation's a good idea we understand conceptually that there's this great research that it physically changes the shape of your brain by doing it but people like do I meditate by eating frosted flakes do I meditate by sitting on a on a log going through that you've got an immense amount of experience where you help people redesign and basically get their brains in shape. How do they do that?

15:07 I coined this term. So, let me take you back to, you know, when Mr. Alan Brown became my mentor,

15:12 right? So, um the goals that he had me set, right? Um he had me rewrite them afterwards in a form of a story.

15:22 So, the story went like this. I am so happy and grateful that I am now earning $10,000 a month. I am selling real estate easily and happily and people love working with me. I wrote this whole story. I'm now living in my dream four-bedroom home. I'm driving. At the time I said I wanted a Cadillac Sedan Deville. Uh I'm helping take care of my I wrote this onepage story of what, you know, this new identity and new story would be. So that was kind of like part one, week one. He then asked me, he says, "In order for you to actually live this story," he said, "what would you need to believe about yourself?"

16:02 I guess I have to believe that I'm smart enough. I I guess I would have to believe that I can learn how to be a real estate agent. I guess I would have to believe that I'm worthy of it. I deserve this. It's possible. And so he says, "Write those down." And so I wrote down, you know, I I am so happy and grateful for the fact that I am feeling worthy of earning $10,000 a month. Now, when I wrote it down, there was a voice in my head that would say, "Bullshit. No, you don't." So, I would write it down. I would read it. I then recorded it on my on my recorder. Back then, we had cassettes. And I would listen to it, but I'd have this little voice that would go, "Bullshit.

16:47 making a buck 65 an hour and now you're making zero. So I'd have this dialogue in my head. And he said to me, he says that's totally normal. He he said because your subconscious knows the truth

17:00 and you are consciously trying to plant these new seeds, these new affirmations, affirming these new language patterns in your own subconscious. And no differently than if you're weak with a muscle, bicep muscle, and you lift three lbs. Oh god, that's hard. It's hard for a day or two or three or four, and then the muscle gets a little stronger, and then you can do four lbs, then six lbs, then 10 lbs, and then you learn some techniques, right? Then you learn different types of bicep strengthening exercises. So he said when we affirm an affirmation okay embeds into the subconscious mind when you do it and we we didn't have the term like an alpha brainwave state back then but we all know like gears in a car if you drive in Europe you go first gear gets you going fast you plop pop the clutch go to second gear the engine's working less but the car is going faster hit the clutch again going to third gear oh my

18:03 god the engine's working less but the car's is going faster. We have brain waves um beta, alpha, theta, delta, gamma, and sub modalities there. And he says, each one of these brain waves allows you to do different things with your brain.

18:20 Oh. And he said to me, you have a brain. Okay, you are not your brain. And now we're going to train your brain. I coined the term a few years back called inner size. You know, I was exercising for strength in my physical body, but now I was inner size. So every day I would actually read, okay, this new script, this new story that was not true. And every day for 30 days, 40 days, 50 days, I'd hear That's not true. That's not true. It's not true. You're not good enough. You're not smart enough. You left high school that my old story kept coming up and it kept challenging me.

18:57 But he said to me, he says, "That's your old self trying to keep itself and keep you sane." He says, 'But every time you hear that voice, just go next. I understand I am creating a new self-image. So, I didn't lie to myself. I'm in the process of building a new self-esteem, a new identity, new beliefs that I want instead of the ones I was given to by my father, my mother, my siblings, the the neighborhood we lived. And he said to me, he says, you know, the other thing we're going to start doing is in in addition to, let's say, affirming, planting in my mind, we are going to visualize. And he said this to me, and I got this one easily. He said, when you visualize, he said, visualization is a mental and emotional simulation.

19:46 And when you mentally and emotionally simulate a result you want, he said, your brain is actually firing those same neurons. And my friend today, Dr. Dennis Weightley, he worked with Neil Armstrong. Okay. Getting him prepared to go to the moon.

20:03 Mhm. And they were using visualization as a mental and emotional rehearsal. Now, we didn't know this then in the late60s, mid60s. But what we do know now is when I visualize the exact same brain cells that are firing when I visualize fire if I'm actually doing the thing. One of my favorite examples of this is they did a study where they I think I had three groups. Some would go practice every day shooting basketballs.

20:34 Yes. But you know which one I'm talking about. Some would not practice at all and some would just visualize it. And the people who just visualized it did almost as well as the people who actually did it because it's it's when I wanted to throw a 92 mph fast ball. My brain knew I could not throw a 92 mph fast. I was 13. I was happy to break 70. But my brain then went into, okay, this is what I have to do. This is these are the next steps. So I think what people don't understand is we've been doing this our whole lives. Like oh, I want to ask that girl out. Oh, I want to pass this test. Your brain will automatically go, okay, I need to pass this test so I get a good grade. what are the steps and it'll start using it as a survival mechanism and it'll start queuing in and it'll go through that. One of the things you just said and and this ties in really importantly to kind of your background. Um you said you are your not

21:19 you have a brain, you are not your brain and you got two things behind you. You've got Einstein up over your right hand

21:25 and you've got you know the Frankie Frankie these are the Stein cousins. Yeah, the Stein cousins. So, when we talk about slicing someone's head up, which I Albert did not realize that his brain was going to be sliced up and passed over Einstein, but when you have these two dichomies right there, I'm curious what they mean to you. When you've got Albert on one side and you've got Frankenstein's monster on the other, what is what do you have as the difference?

21:47 So, I I um I I brought this little prop to uh share with you and everybody else. Obvious, right? It's all mapped out with the stem and the uh loes, etc. And here's what we we've discovered, right? Um, going back in time, we had a brain. Like we we it's kind of like we had a a piece of meat,

22:06 right? We had no idea what the piece of meat consists of. But, you know, with technology, we've been able to uh do imaging of the brain when we're thinking, feeling, looking at something that scares us or something erotic that excites us. So, we can see circuits turning on or off. We can see blood flow. They can see more into the human brain now than ever before. And so one of the things that the scientists have discovered is our brain is made up and I like to give people a visual. Imagine that u you are the conductor and have an orchestra of about 10 people or a band and your job regardless of whether you can play any music or not or sing is to is to make sure that the members of your orchestra or band they're doing their thing and they're playing in sync.

22:56 right now. Imagine that. Um, one part of your band is uh is uh uh always com, well, what if she doesn't show up and what what if what if that's too expensive and and what if we can't make our flight? And that person on your team is actually very very valuable because, you know, they're always think about what if negative

23:19 like what what if you what if you fail? Uh what if you're embarrassed, ashamed, ridiculed, judged, rejected? What if you lose money? What if you lose time? What if she says no? Uh what if you're abandoned? What if negative? Well, we know um that uh Einstein is not doing that. We know Einstein's always going, "Wow, the way I can achieve this is by doing this and by doing that, and I can envision this, and I can use my imagination." But we always know that that other part of our brain, Frankie's monster, is always on high alert to warn us of real or imagined danger. So we now know that when Einstein, all right, is saying, "Hey, um, I want to make more money. I want to live a better life. I want to lose weight and keep it up. I want to have a loving, caring relationship. I want to be a great mother or father, you know, whatever the case is." Um, we activate other circuits in our brain that are like motivational.

24:14 They're exciting. Like, oh my god, that would be so good. But because our brain is wired for safety, security, and avoidance of pain or discomfort first, Frankie goes wild whenever we're outside of our comfort zone because it's possibly dangerous. It could be dangerous mentally, emotionally, physically, or financially. So this what I calls the early warning detection mechanism always goes on when we have a goal outside of our current familiarity zone right?

24:49 And I think people ignore that. People push it away. They're like, "Oh no, I'm not." Whenever I have my, in your case, Frankie, I call it lowest persona. I always sit there and say, "Okay, there's something I'm missing. Let me listen to it. Let me figure what is it trying to tell me, but it doesn't get to drive my car anymore." In other words, like, oh, we're going to fail. Okay, cool. Why do you think we're going to fail? what's going on. And there's these different sides. And I love that you divide that the brain is different.

25:12 When you go into this and someone is trying to recode this and they get it now that their brain is just trying to keep them alive and it's not making the best possible decision because they haven't redesigned if they're committed to it or if they're interested in it. Your your default part of your brain when you showed the the slice up the um the smaller part of your brain is only cared about am I going to be alive,

25:35 right? Can I keep you alive? That's it. But when you have to go out farther and get out of that, it's a different ballgame. You talked about exercising your brain on the inside.

25:44 What are the tactical things that people do? I mean, again, people know meditation works. What are the things that you've proven and that you've seen because you've helped people because a lot of people come across you like, "Oh, he's just he's just mental stuff." No, not just mental. You've created an immense amount of wealth for your clients. You've created an immense amount of wealth for the people that are around you and for yourself. You don't do this because you just gave them strategies. You know, I talk to people all the time like, "Oh, I I just don't know how to do it." Do you have an iPhone? Do you have a Google phone?

26:10 Yeah. Then you know how to do it. So, shut up. So, what are the things that you actually need to do? How do they actually do this and exercise their inner part of their brain?

26:17 Sure. Uh, can I get to that in just one second because I want to I want to I want to put one more piece that you're talking about right now into what Alan Brown had me do. So, I had my story, my goal. I want to make 10,000 a month. I want to buy a home. I want a nice car. You know, I want to give some money to charities. I want to take care of my parents. So I had this like as my vision and then I had goals for the end of the year for 9 months 6 months 3 months and for like what do I want to achieve in one month and I didn't know how to set goals before I didn't know what was realistic what wasn't realistic but I was a beginner I was like a a beginner the only thing I knew how to do uh I played basketball and hockey when I was a kid so I knew that I had to train and practice uh before game time um so Mr.

27:02 Brown helped me create a daily action plan. So he said to me, "You want to make $10,000 in a month?" I said, "Yes." He says, "Well, based on the home prices here, you're going to need to get either these number of listings or you're going to have to get these number of buyers to buy a home." So he broke it down to, "Okay, now I have a number." He says, 'Now, in order to get this many listings, you're probably going to have to be in front of, you know, 20 people this month that could say yes to you. And you're probably going to have to speak to people who want to buy a house.

27:40 And we determined that I had to make a hundred calls a day and prospect. So if I called 100 made 100 calls a day and back then we could phone call um you know and we'd get probably 30% of the people answer the phone and they said great so here's the math behind achieving the goal and he said um and here's the numbers to achieve the goal. He says but but that's not enough. He says because you can make a hundred phone calls and just blab your way and sound stupid and yes you'll get embarrassed and ashamed and ridiculed and judged and rejected. He says, "But let me upgrade your skill now." So he gave me literally like a sheet of paper that was typed out. And on the sheet of paper was a script. And here's the script 45 years later. Ready?

28:29 Mhm. Hi, this is John Asar with Allen Brown Real Estate Company. We have somebody's looking to buy a home in the neighborhood. Have you thought about making a move? If they said yes, I go, "Great. Could my broker and I, Alan Brown, come over today at 3:00 or would 5:00 be better? So, I had an alternative choice,

28:48 the illusion of choice, right? Um, and then if they said, "Sure, 3:00 is great." Great. We'll see you there. I'll let you know if there's any changes. Hang up, Mr. Brown. We have a 3 to 5:00 appointment. If they said, "No, we're not thinking about making." I said, "Thank you so much. Oh, by the way, have any of the neighbors, you know, said anything about moving this year?"

29:08 Yes. Oh, great. Would you mind putting me in touch with them? Give me the number. Whatever. If they said no, I said, "Oh, thank you." Oh, one last question. since we are the local real estate company in the neighborhood. Um, do you know when you might be thinking of making a move? So, we could put it into and at the time they had a card decks file. We we wrote everything by hand. You know, we put in our file. So, I had a script. And I was also taught, yeah, people hang up on you. Yeah. People go, you freaking idiot. What do you call me for? It's dinner time. Absolutely.

29:36 So, he taught me how to manage the rejection, the no, the clicks. He also gave me this sheet and it had a hundred boxes on it. Box one had $15. 15, 30, 45, 60, 75, 90, 105,120, 135, all the way from $15 um all the way down to 1,500 and box 100. And here was the game. He says, "Your job is to make a hundred calls a day. Speak to 30 people, get five appointments." He says, "You do that. Maybe today you'll find somebody who wants to buy or sell a house and you'll make that $1,500 over time. So, he taught me these frameworks to make it fun, to not take rejection personally, to upgrade my identity, my knowledge and skills to match the goal that I want to achieve. And within 6 months, I made, as I mentioned, my first um uh I made $60,000 in six months, 10,000 a month, but he got half of that. But then he taught me some new skills. and then I made $300,000 in the next 12 months. So, there was a

30:46 behavior to follow my story and my affirmations that were not true and my visualizations and listening to this story that I would say is But in week 1, 2, 3, 4, it was like heavy, no way, negative. I can't do it. But as soon as I got some appointments, as soon as we got a listing, as soon as we made a sale, I'm like, well, maybe I can do this. So, I went from I can't, don't deserve it, not smart enough, not good enough to maybe I can, hey, this is not that bad. I'm making progress, I'm doing better, to holy can I ever do this?

31:24 And I think it happened because you went from I'm inspired to do this versus I'm committed to do this, right? And it had to start with that because to go through that process, that evolution, that pain, just like when you're at the gym, just like when you're learning how to run, the first mile, the first time you do it is brutal. It is brutal. Your legs hurt. You want to throw up. Your back hurts. Parts of your body you didn't know exists hurts. It's like going to the beach. You find sand in places you didn't know exist. Same thing when you first, but you just keep committing to it by saying, "I'm going to complete this goal because I am this. I am a triathlete. I am a this. I am a that."

31:56 That you switch that identity. I don't think people jump into that. If I can show you something, I'm going to put some props in front over here. I want anybody who's watching or listening, I want you to ask yourself this question. Uh, it's 2025. All right? You might be listening to this in 26 or 27, but it's 2025 right now. And ask yourself this question. Do we know how to make $10,000 a month in just about any industry or 20,000 or 50,000 or $100,000 a month? Do we know you're insurance sales, real estate sales, you start a business, um programmer, developer, you've got your own app, uh you got a cleaning, whatever it is, is the information on how to available?

32:42 Absolutely. Great. What about health? If you want to lose weight and keep it off, you want to run a marathon, you want to do a triathlon, uh you want to uh have a better relationship in every area of health wealth relationships career business spirituality how to achieve my goal of X.

33:01 Mhm. We can have at our fingertips in 5 seconds on, you know, chatpt or one of the AI platforms. So, how to exist? And one of the visuals I like to give people is have you ever tried to uh solve the Rubik's cube?

33:17 I'm very good at those until they they made it so you couldn't take the stickers off. Then it got very hard for me.

33:23 So So most people would agree if I asked them this question. Is it possible to solve this or this? Is it possible?

33:31 It is. Right. But you have to learn the algorithm. You have to upgrade yours. First you got to make a decision you want to. But whether it's a 2x two,

33:40 you know, a 3x3, 4x4, or 5x5, or even one of the granddaddies, all right, it's possible to do it, right?

33:52 So, a couple of options. Option one, um, figure it out yourself and sit there and try the literally billion possible moves. And you're like, I'm frustrated. This is too hard. I don't know. I don't know what I can get this here and that there, but I can't get So, you give up. So, we give up. Now do we give up because it's not possible or do we give up because we implemented the wrong process to do it

34:15 right and it's a we have we have frustration and now uh you know I give up and now I develop this identity of somebody who starts but does not finish hard stuff

34:28 right yeah you want to learn how to do this um go to YouTube right now you'll have this done in 10 minutes

34:36 uh this will take a lot longer longer, but there are people that will teach you step by step by step. And if you're committed, um, you can actually hire somebody to coach you, uh, on Zoom in person. Go to a weekend, you know, Rubik's Cube retreat. There are three-year-old kids that do this in seconds.

34:53 Now, some people have natural propensities. I got it. But everybody can learn how to do it. Mhm.

34:59 So the first thing is whatever goal you have, don't confuse the fact that you may not have the knowledge and skill how to do it with it's not doable.

35:11 Right? Two completely different stories. Two completely different, right? So, so there's only four things that hold us back. So number one is I lack the knowledge and skill of how to do something. And when us humans lack the knowledge and skill, we have self-doubt. And we have self-doubt that causes this state of uncertainty. And the average person has never been taught that when we feel uncertain, our brain actually releases stress neurochemicals, cortisol, you know, epinephrine. Uh, and those stress neurochemicals actually activate something called the sympathetic nervous system. them in our brain. And when that circuit is turned on, like the light switch I was telling you earlier, when that circuit is turned on, it's that Frankie's monster, okay, that's that's saying, "Hey, protect yourself and either, you know, run away, self-sabotage, procrastinate, you know, fight this thing, you know, or do

36:13 something else." So, we know that the like the mechanics of our brain is when I'm uncertain, I have a bit of fear and I have a fear of failing. I have a fear of being embarrassed, abandoned, ashamed ridiculed judged rejected etc. Uh, losing. And so I move into protective mode, not because I want to. It's just a biological system that was created by our creator, whatever you believe the creative intelligence is, um, as a protective mechanism. But can you learn how to feel uncomfortable, feel uncertain, have self-doubt, feel fear? Can you can you learn how to feel fear? And can you for example with four breaths deactivate that circuit? And the answer is I don't know. For most people said, well, here's here's something most people don't know. There's something called the physiological breath. And if you just did this where you're lifting up your diaphragm, putting oxygen into your lungs, into

37:22 your brain, you actually turn off this circuit and then you what goes online? Einstein comes back online and that's known as the the parasympathetic nervous system and that's the genius part of our brain that is calm that can now respond. Einstein is the part of the brain we want to operate from because that's our CEO. That's our imagination, deductive reasoning, our intelligent part of our brain. But Frankie wants to run the show to protect

37:54 all the time. And so Frankie is the quitter. But what happens when we go into this part of our brain called the sympathetic nervous system where we can be calm to respond? Now we're not feeling that angst of the stress or worry or fear or doubt or pain. But now we can say, "Okay, I'm feeling uncomfortable. I'm feeling like afraid. I'm feeling uncertain. I feel like I might lose X, Y, or Z or experience this and I don't like that." Now, can we ask ourself, well, what would have to happen in order for me to take action and feel safe? what would have to happen in order for me to learn the next two or three steps only like just two or three steps so that I'm not stuck frozen in fear you know re reinforcing this thing that's preventing me from achieving my goal what would have to happen well could I find one action step that at least moves me a little bit towards what I want small tiny action not a big huge action step

39:03 it's too big for the human brain to take big action steps unless you're trained to. So what we want to do is we want to start creating these micro decisions to move in the direction of our dream. So uh the first inner size you know we can do is the physiological breath or we do something called take six calm the circuits. That's inner size number one. First we calm that sympa sympathetic circuit

39:30 right? Take six slow deep breaths in through our nose out through our mouth. Then we do inner size number two. It's called a A I A. And A just stands for awareness. Awareness of my thoughts, feelings sensations emotions behaviors that I'm that I'm taking or not taking. And when we learn how to observe our physiology and our mental state without, and this is really important, without judging yourself, blaming yourself, feeling guilty, or being ashamed. It's just pure observation. Well, I'm talking negatively to myself. I'm feeling uncomfortable. Right? And then we have the I for ina is what's your intention?

40:14 Is your intention to not take action? Well, no, it's not. Is your intention to achieve the health, wealth, relationships, career goal? Yeah, that's my intention. And here is the here's the magic. What is one one small little action you can take towards that? You want to get in better shape, one small action. Put your running shoes out somewhere where you can see them.

40:39 Um, one small step. Sugar out of your house. Yeah. One small step just to just to have self-rust, self-confidence, and to be able to give yourself a command and follow through to completion. Right? And I and I think this is where people don't get it. They go, "Okay, I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to bench press 300 lb. No, you're not. You're going to start by bench pressing maybe 75 and then maybe 80. And you're going to slowly and we expect that in the physical space, but we don't for some reason expect that in the mental space.

41:12 Like, okay, I'm going to make $10 million. Let's try and make 10. What do we have to do to make $10? Okay, good. You got that. And you start building and and redesigning, recoding your brain and getting that confidence in you. And you start having the ability for to your example, Frankenstein's monster over here going, "Wait, okay, I used to have this fear that I couldn't do 10. Maybe I can do 20 now. And it slowly starts reg. And if we go and you do these things, we can scan your brain before.

41:37 We can scan your brain after. And it will physically be a different shape. It'll physically fire differently. And it's these little baby steps that happen repetitively.

41:47 You work with you work with some clients and you've been doing this for a long time. What are the biggest struggles when they show up and you know they walk up to you and of course you know they want to rule the world and they want to make millions of dollars and they want to grow wings and whatever their myriad of things that they want. What are the hurdles that they normally walk into going this is normal? This is what I normally run into and then here's how that you normally help them fix it.

42:10 Yeah. um whether I'm working with an athlete, working with a CEO, working with a homemaker,

42:18 uh most of them are not operating with a vision of what does it look like in the future if it was complete? What do you look like? What does the result look like?

42:30 One, part two, they don't have any path from where they are today to that. Right? And because we talked about triathlons, you know, imagine if I asked everybody right now if we all committed, all of us committed to um jogging a marathon one year from today.

42:48 Mhm. Uh assuming you're, you know, physically healthy, mentally healthy. Would we if we committed to it? The answer is yes.

42:55 Absolutely. We don't need to be in the possession of the training routine, the food routine, the rest routine, the sleep routine, the the equipment that we we don't need to know any of it now. All we need to know is like a year from now we're running together across the finish line. It might take us 7 hours to to jog slowly a marathon 26.2 miles, right? Um and then we say, "Okay, now let's uh divide everybody into um are you a beginner?" And like you don't even know a training schedule. you don't know the difference between a carbohydrate and a peptide and you don't know the and so let's take all the beginners and say okay beginners for the next two weeks here is what you need to know and learn all you intermediate ones all right that you've done some running you understand a little nutrition sleep okay your training schedule is this all the advanced ones you understand training schedule sleep

43:51 food nutrition okay we're putting you on a in a different path. Now the first 30, 60, 90 days, there's going to be a big discrepancy between the beginner and the advanced.

44:05 But over six months, many of the beginners will go from beginners to intermediate. Some might even make it to advanced. So we have to have frameworks and a process for each person that start with their vision, their goals and then we develop a plan that they can follow. And here is the rule. We look to build the habit first or the behavior and then once we have the habit down we work on intensity and complexity. So, how does one start building that habit? Because again, we're coming up to the end of January by the time we're recording this in 2025 and everyone has now lost their uh abilities to their New Year's resolutions because they it is what it is. When someone wants to start, they have a goal and they want to get there and they know within reason because they have the how because they have access to Google or chat GPT. How do they start developing that habit? How do they start getting there and moving it forward?

45:05 Because I think it's something like 80 something% of the people fail in their goal within the first two weeks. So how do we how do we start developing that?

45:13 Um so first we don't work on 10 multiple goals at the same time that are new to you. Right? So the first thing we want to teach ourselves

45:24 is that I can give myself a command and a goal no matter how small and I can follow through to completion. So the first thing I say is okay give me one goal in one area of your life. Health break. what specifically

45:40 right one um you know one goal and we say okay what can you commit to for a minimum of 5 minutes a day for the next seven days no matter what

45:52 if you're bed tired asleep it's raining it's it's leing it's hailing you're getting up for five minutes and you're doing the thing you promised yourself you're going to do what can you commit to so the first thing I do is I reduce it to the ridiculously small thing so we can accomplish something very very big and that is selfrust and if I can build selfrust that I can say to myself every day for five minutes I'm doing this no matter what and do it

46:23 now okay maybe I could do seven minutes so what happens with most people is they reinforce the negative they reinforce all of the mental and emotional and physical ical habits that actually move them away from their goals versus focusing on their goals. Part one. The other part is um I'm okay with big goals, but big goals have small components. So what is the one or two things that if you did that every day, it would build the habit. So that's part one. But let me give you something really, really, really critical.

47:08 We've already established don't set a goal you're not committed to achieving because you won't do what it takes. But let's say you've committed to it. Um I call it my rule of 100. And based on some of the latest research in the university uh in Toronto several years ago, they discovered something. So let's say I I start um an exercise program today. Um then I'm firing, you know, the neurons. I'm releasing the endorphins and the adrenaline and the and the dopamine, the feel-good neurochemicals, and I'm excited and I'm I have a motive for the action and it feels good. And if I don't like push it too hard, then, you know, I'm enjoying it. Um, what they discovered back when, you know, I was in my 20s, 30s, there used to be this belief that it takes 21 days to develop a habit.

47:56 There was no science behind that. And here's what we now know. It takes between 66 days to 365 days to either develop or replace an old whether it's thought, emotional, or behavioral habit. So, here's my rule for all my clients. Uh, I don't take you on as a client. You can't join any of my coaching programs unless you commit to this one thing. Ready? 100 days.

48:25 Mhm. If you can commit to a little bit of doing, thinking, and feeling the right thing for 100 days, I could pretty much guarantee you'll achieve your goals. But if you can't be self-disiplined to following through to completion, then you are going to be self-disciplined not to right?

48:48 You're going to be committed to your old patterns. And I think when everyone does this, they're like, "Oh, well, I'm going to be committed for 100 days. is I'm going to run a marathon every single day. I'm like, "No, no, no, no, no. How about just commit to a small, as you said, minuscule little thing. Do one little thing." And then all of a sudden, if I could do this, I could do that. I remember when a dear friend of mine went through a radical breakup. It was really rough on him about about a decade ago. And it was tough for him. It was his first major breakup he went through. He survived through it. He recently went through another breakup. And I was like, "How do you feel?" He goes, "Well, I did it before. Probably can do it again. I probably can survive through this." And that's what you're talking about where we retrain Frankenstein monster. So, okay, you get that self-confidence, but

49:30 it comes down to that that nasty C word, which is commit. You've got to commit.

49:34 Yeah. And by the way, Frankenstein is one of your best allies ever. 100%. I tell people, you know, if you're driving one of a new a newer car today, right? Uh you love it when you know a car comes too close to you and your and your legs beeps. You love it when the trunk is open and ding ding ding ding ding because why? Because it's telling you that hey, pay attention to this. So Frankie has been developing for hundreds of millions of years. So love your Frankie.

50:02 Yes. Okay. But you have to control Frankie versus Frankie controlling you. Now the neurochemistry of fear is actually required in a flow state. Most people don't know this, but we actually want most most flow states start in a state of stress, worry, fear, anxiety. When you're at the Olympics, oh my god, am I going to run well today? Did I sleep enough? Did I eat the right food? Is it the right time? Is it too early today, too late in the day? I wonder what Michael will do. I wonder what Joey will do. I So, we're comparing and then Frankie goes off, you know? But then boom, because of training, we use that fuel. We focus on that finish line.

50:42 We focus on what we have practiced and then we don't have to think about it because we are now unconsciously competent and we go and if we trained right then we get into this flow state where it's effortless. There's effort but it's not work.

50:57 So whether it's earning money getting healthy we focus on the right habits first and through consistency we add intensity and complexity. And so I would prefer somebody telling me, "John, I walked one minute a day for 100 days. I'm ready to to move." Or somebody say, you know, I walked 15 minutes on Monday. I couldn't Tuesday and Wednesday. You know, I walked two hours on Sunday. I'm really sore, so I'm going to take off. No, it's it's too inconsistent. Whatever it is that we do consistently, this is so powerful. Whatever it is that we do consistently, our brain automates.

51:39 Yes. That's called automaticity. And automaticity is effortless to the human brain. Whereas consistency initially is effort more, but it becomes a pattern. It becomes a habit. One of the things that people waste more than anything else is time. And I notice behind you, you've got a sand clock and you got an hourglass. People waste time as if it's this limitless resource. I spent eight years in a hospice watching people die. So time for me, everyone's like, "Oh, your health is your wealth." I'm like, "No, it's not." There's people who had polio who had to live in a coke can for their entire life. They lived to 90 years old. They would much rather have had health their health differently when it comes to time. So when you come to time and health is this battle. How do you feel? And when you go in and again, you've got the hourglass behind you. How does time play into this ball game? How do you master it to become

52:27 effective? Um, so this serves two purposes for me. Uh, let's say this is my life, right? I have no idea how much sand I have left.

52:39 This is the life I've lived. And so I can take the good sand, the only sand I have right now, this second,

52:46 and I could do one of two things. Focus on all the mistakes, all the traumas, all the pain I've had, all the people who did me wrong, all all the things I'm ashamed of. or I could create what I want this to be in the future. So that's number one. Number two is to remind me that there is no such thing as time management. The only thing I could manage is what I do in time. So I go back to are you living your life by design

53:24 or by default? Are you inspired to or are you committed to? Are you building the routine and the habits of consistency

53:32 over and over again? So like I know what my day what I want it to look like because I've thought about what today will be like. Now listen, I fully get um life's curveballs. I fully get it. Um you know, I just had a dermatology appointment this morning. you know, the doctor says everything's fine, but there's something right over here, you know, on your chest. Um, and I want to take it off and we're going to do a biopsy on it. Say, great. Maybe it's cancer. I don't know. But right now, I can focus on being healthy, eating the right food, breathing, drinking the right amounts of of fluids, and taking care of myself.

54:12 So, I get that life gives you curve balls, but I know what I'm trading my life for. And if you recall earlier I said I want my life to be like extraordinary. So and I don't mean you know a lavish lifestyle. I just want to feel happy. I want to feel proud. I want to contribute to the lives of others. I want to have a meaningful purposeful life of impact and influence. I want to ask about that. You talk about purposeful. A lot of people will go through and they'll say I want to make a ton of money. I want to pay for my parents this. I want to pay that. But they go through and they don't live a life with a purpose. And people don't understand how to access a purpose. When your clients come to you, because I'm sure it's similar when they come to me, they think that if I make XYZ dollars, if I become on the cover of magazine, if I win this award, da da da, their equation is if I do this, I'll be

55:03 enough. And if I'm enough, I'll be worthy of love, which is a broken equation all day long.

55:07 How do you get people when you're working with them, your clients and people who have worked with you for years, to identify what their purpose is? How do you get them to access them?

55:16 Yeah. Um, first part, you know, when somebody doesn't feel like I'm enough or I'm worthy or have imposttor syndrome, they usually lack an understanding of what they are. Like if you think about what you are, what is the intelligence that created you that's in you? Um, and you really have this healthy understanding set aside from ego. you realize that like I believe in God and intelligence. I don't believe in God as a deity with a guy in the up there with a beard and a you know the devil down there and you go there or I don't believe in that. That just serves my me and I don't have any issue with what anybody else believes. I believe that um we all have these um things that interest us. gaming, uh designing, uh writing, reading, uh talking with friends, taking care of pets, cooking.

56:14 And if we just listen to what is it that brings me joy? What is it that is actually easy for me that may be difficult for somebody else? Is it math? Is it numbers? Is it is it helping somebody? Like what is it that that makes me feel that inspires me? It gives me spirit when I think of it, do it, experience it, share it. Uh so what is it that inspires me versus what is it that expires me? So let's begin with what are your hobbies? What do you like to read? Um if you could make a difference in the world like would it be for plants? Would it be for animals? Would it be to help people who are dying? Um because there are plenty of people who um go and make a lot of money but they still feel worth less, right? There's lots of people who who give because they think they should give but there's no joy in their giving. Um there's a lot of people that have nice cars or watches uh but they feel like

57:21 they're an impostor because they're still dealing with childhood you know self-belief uh that wasn't theirs. um you know somebody helped them develop that. So, I want to get them into their heart, out of their head, like in your heart and in your gut. Like, what is it that if you could do more of that,

57:42 you just feel like the trade, right? The trade, go back to the time. What would you feel like the trade would be worth it? Part one. Part two, I can get them. For example, if I was to sit you in a rocking chair, right? a rocking chair test. Now, let's take you to close to the end of your life and you're sitting in the rocking chair, right? And you are talking to your younger self. Um, what would you tell your younger self? Do more of that. Do less of that. What would you wish you would have done now that you're at the end of your life?

58:19 What would you do um if you were in, you know, at your 30s or 40s or 20s or 50s or like what would you do then? And then why not come back to the moment and start doing the things that your older self is telling you to do now without limitations? Like what would you need to learn? What would you need to let go of? What would you need to upgrade? Um who who would you help? Who would you ask for help? Um how would you manage that fear that you have uh a little bit better? So, so taking the time, this is this is I've I've invested like I don't know like how much of my life just in um in thinking in being and feeling and in in getting in touch with the essence of what's important for me, right? and then designing a life that I feel proud of and I don't like if I can help you and help the people that are listening or watching that that is part of my my my purpose in life.

59:27 Contribution is my number four highest value. So I want to contribute because it feeds me and then I can pay it forward. I think it goes back to what you were saying before where you might have this idea. you've done your you're sitting in the rocking chair and you have this vision of where you want to go. Just like when you were going through the real estate, you're like, I want to make this much money and I want to buy this house. I want to do all these things. Understanding and having the humility of, okay, I'm going to commit to this. Whatever this goal is, whatever this purpose that you have, but also having the humility going, okay, I can't do a triathlon right now because I can barely walk 5 feet. So, what are the things that I need to do over the next 100 days? How do I recode my brain? How do I do the exercise within? How do I do that? and you're you're one of the few people that I know that actually do

1:00:11 that. The problem is people have a hard time finding you. How do people get a hold of you so they can start doing these things and start redesigning their brain and and and redesign their neuroplasticity and understanding that you can work out your brain as much as you can work out your arms? What's the best way for people to find you?

1:00:25 Yeah. So, a couple things. Um, I released an inner size app where I developed 600 inner sizes with visualizations and mindfulness and meditation and cognitive behavior techniques uh with um with experts uh videos training and they can get that on inner size.com or my app or the app store. Uh I'm on Instagram. I do a ton of YouTube videos to show people things that they can do to set goals and achieve goals. I'm on Facebook. Um I'm on all the social media channels and they can find a whole bunch of um my articles on you know my website johnasf.com.

1:01:01 I write a lot. I research a lot uh and I share a lot. So johnf.com inner size.com um the one thing that I want um I really want to like leave people with is um in front of me I have my exceptional life blueprint

1:01:17 and one of the things that I do that I encourage everybody to do regardless of whether you learn it like I start everything off with like my goals I have goals for every area of my life health relations career business travel my prayers you know where I'm going to travel in the future I have it all written because I've thought about it. Um, and then I write my new story, you know, the story of my life

1:01:41 and write the story and then I have images, you know, for my current life or the life that I want to live that I blend actually. Um, so I want to see the earth from the moon. I want to be in a in a fighter jet. We rented this house in the Maldes two years ago. So I put pictures up of what I want to achieve that fall in line with the u story of my life. Now, why do I have this book here? Um, well, because I've taken the time to think about what do I really want for health wealth relationships career business fun experiences travel etc., charity. Um, I take the time to write it down. I take the time to create images for it. And then every day for about five minutes, six minutes, I review my exceptional life blueprint.

1:02:25 And this acts for me the equivalent of a destination for a pilot. Right? The pilot says, "Get on the plane here. We're going to go over there." And then we chart the course there. And the plane is off track a lot. But then it recalibrates recalibrates recalibrates, recalibrates. So I take the time every day just to just say, "Is this still where I want to go? Are these the things I want to achieve? Are these things I want to experience? Are these people I want to help?" Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Good. Check. Check. Check.

1:02:54 Check. Check. prime my brain every day a little bit with looking at this, reading it, reviewing it, doing my inner sizes,

1:03:04 and visualizing it and then being silent for five, six, seven minutes to activate my subconscious mind through a meditative practice. Um, and so I'm doing these this block of mental and emotional work.

1:03:21 Mhm. And then I get this physical body, right, into what I call is the law of Goya, right? The law of Goya is the get off your ass law and take action now. Now we take some action now. Okay. What am I doing today? Okay, great. Lock of time contribution with Charles. Bang. All right. After that, bang. after that bang. These are the behaviors that make the dream

1:03:49 a reality. I I remember when I first discovered uh meditation and I first discovered visualization. I had a lot of resistance to it as I'm sure a lot of people that you run into. They're like, "That is stupid. You're going to sit around. We're put pictures in a book." You have all this resistance. And there was a a mentor of mine who sat down. He goes, "Imagine you got on a plane and the person sat next to you strapped in. They looked at you and said, "God, I really hope we go somewhere fun. you would freak out. You'd be like, "I'm sorry, what?" You don't get on a plane not knowing where you want to go, but we live our lives with this. I don't know where I want to go. So, having that workbook that you shared with us, hey, let's figure this where it is. Let's figure out where we're going. You don't pull back an arrow, fire it, and then decide where you want it to go. You've got to map it out with intent. And I

1:04:31 think that goes back to what you said in the very beginning that your mentor gave you. What type of life do you want? Where do you want that arrow to go? Cool. Awesome. Are you committed? Awesome. Are you committed to doing a 100 days of a very small act every single day? You don't grow a flower by dumping a bucket of water on it once and walking away. It's a bunch of things over and over and over again.

1:04:52 And and tiny habits that are empowering, positive, and constructive build your life the way you want.

1:05:01 Yes. And tiny habits that are destructive, disempowering, and negative destroy your life. And here is the key for everybody. It's your choice.

1:05:14 Yes. That's your power. Everybody wants what's what power do I have? The only difference between us and a pig and a horse.

1:05:22 Mhm. We can choose. And you can choose to be a victim or anything else you want to be

1:05:28 or Victorian. You have to. And every action you do every day does it. Well, I there's so much more. We could probably talk about four or five hours on this. I love it. John, thank you so much for for coming on and sharing your gifts with us and your knowledge. People think that, oh, you just learn strategies and then you become financially free or spiritually free or healthy. It's not. There's there's so much that goes on on your subconscious and you have to learn these things and master these things or you're never going to get to the other side. So, I really appreciate you coming on.

1:05:56 It's my pleasure. Thanks for doing such a great job preparing and being so so great on this. No,

1:06:00 I appreciate it. John, prove that your brain is not your destiny. It's your opportunity. The difference between interested and committed isn't just mindset.

Questions about this episode

What is discussed in "How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains - John Assaraf"?

In order: 0:00 Toronto, Jeffrey 71st – Miller, Charles, Montreal, Canada; 10:00 self-image, Affirmation, Alpha brainwave state, Cadillac Sedan DeVille; 20:00 Mr. Alan Brown, Allen Brown Real Estate Company, Frankenstein's Monster, visualization; 30:00 Rubik's Cube, Affirmation, AI platforms, marathon; 40:00 marathon, Frankenstein's Monster, Toronto; 50:00 Flow State, automaticity, hospice, Rocking Chair Test; 1:00:00 Exceptional Life Blueprint, App Store, Facebook, Instagram.

What is mentioned in this The Proven Podcast episode?

45 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Toronto, Jeffrey 71st – Miller, Charles, self-image, marathon, Montreal, triathlete. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains - John Assaraf"?

The episode runs 1 h 6 min; the transcript is about 12,384 words in 137 timestamped sections.

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