You Can’t Win With Money When Your Relationships Are Messy | December 29, 2025

What this episode is about

This content emphasizes the importance of addressing personal relationships and financial management to alleviate money stress in 2026. It highlights a call from Miguel, who grapples with $147,000 in debt and contemplates selling his fluctuating printing business, underpinning the idea that financial success is intertwined with personal circumstances and decision-making.

Key takeaways

• Transform financial stress into savvy moves: change gears now, or risk being stuck in 2026!
• Normal is broke; embrace the weird! Your finances will thank you for it later.
• Debt doesn't define you, but ignoring it certainly will. Tackle your challenges head-on!
• Struggling with money? The first step is realizing a business isn’t always a golden ticket.
• Just because you started it doesn’t mean you have to finish it. Evaluate, pivot, and thrive!

Who speaks in this episode?

• Andrew (Guest) · 13 min speaking
• Rachel Cruz (Guest) · 50 min speaking
• Jade Warshaw (Host) · 38 min speaking
• Miguel (Guest) · 19 min speaking
• Sierra (Guest) · 6 min speaking
• Alex (Guest) · 6 min speaking
• Elijah (Guest) · 6 min speaking
• Jacob (Guest) · 6 min speaking

What is discussed, and when

1. 0:00 – 15:00: Every Dollar, Cheyenne, Wyoming
2. 15:00 – 30:00: Boone, North Carolina
3. 30:00 – 45:00: Buxy, Mississippi
4. 1:45:00 – 2:00:00: Every Dollar

Notable quotes from "You Can’t Win With Money When Your Relationships Are Messy | December 29, 2025"

• Take what you hear and put it to work in your own life, you'll be stuck with the same money stress in 2026. So, make a change and download Every Dollar today.

  about Every Dollar · at 0:04

• All right, we're going to the phones and we're going to Andrew in Oh, Cheyenne, Wyoming. One of my favorite one of my favorite country songs.

  about Cheyenne, Wyoming · at 12:03

• Welcome back to the Ramsay Show. Up next in Boone, North Carolina, we have Sierra on the line. Hi Sierra. Welcome to the show.

  about Boone, North Carolina · at 21:55

• Let's talk to Greg. He's in Buxy, Mississippi. What's going on, Greg?

  about Buxy, Mississippi · at 37:07

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

Products & tech

• Every Dollar — Product · Primary recommendation · 3 mentions · first at 0:08
  Promoted as a budgeting tool to help listeners manage their finances.
• SiriusXM — Product · Incidental mention · 2 mentions
  Mentioned in passing as a platform for the show.
  Radio shows: SiriusXM shows, hosted programs.

Places & events

• Cheyenne, Wyoming — Place · Setting · 1 mention · first at 12:04
  Mentioned as the location of a caller.
• Boone, North Carolina — Place · Setting · 1 mention · first at 21:58
  Mentioned as the location of a caller.
• Buxy, Mississippi — Place · Setting · 1 mention · first at 37:07
  Mentioned as the location of a caller.

Full transcript with timestamps

0:00 This episode is filled with some of our best calls and advice, but unless you take what you hear and put it to work in your own life, you'll be stuck with the same money stress in 2026. So, make a change and download Every Dollar today.

0:25 Normal is broke and common sense is weird. So, we're here to help you transform your life from the Ramsey Network in the Fair Winds Credit Union studio. This is the Ramsay Show and I'm Rachel Cruz hosting this hour with Jade Warshaw and we're answering your questions. So, give us a call at 888255225 and we'll be talking about your life, your money, career, relationships, anything and everything. We are here for you. So, let's start off in Boston with Miguel. Hi, welcome to the show.

0:59 Hey, how's it going? We're doing well. How can we help today? So, today I wanted to ask uh so I have a business and I'm um I'm contemplating on what I should do next because I'm I'm also 147,000 in debt. And that's including credit cards, student loans, and a car payment.

1:17 Okay. So, I want to know if I should sell a business, um, for what I think I give value for and then start fresh and then use that lump sum of money to attack like the debt.

1:29 What kind of business are you in? Uh, it's a printing business, so merchandise.

1:35 What would cause you What would cause you to sell the business versus using profit from the business to pay down the debt? I think it's just because I'll collect a lump sum of money and like the business right now is kind of, you know, fluctuating. It's up and down. Um, and I'm also alone in it. So, it's a lot of my time

1:59 where I feel like I if I could change the If you didn't have debt, Miguel, would you stay in this business

2:05 or would you still want out? Uh, yeah. You would stay in I'll potentially stay in the business. Yeah.

2:10 Okay. Yeah. Because I look at this as I mean because I mean well how much would you sell it for? How much could you get out of it

2:19 minus all of your liabilities and everything? About 30 grand. How much are you making off of it every year? How much are you bringing home?

2:31 So this is actually like my first year in it. Um so I'd know at at the end of the year but roughly after everything about 1,500 bucks a month. 1,500 a month. And this is this what you do full-time or is this kind of like a side business?

2:46 Uh, it's full-time. Well, I don't know that I would sell it. Uh, but I would not have this being my full-time job right now because of what it's generating. It feels like

2:57 How are you guys How are you guys living? Is your wife work? Uh, no. I'm single.

3:02 You're single. How are you living off of $1,500 a month? Uh just just making it happen honestly.

3:10 But what's your rent though? Like real numbers. Uh I paid uh studio it's about $850.

3:17 Mhm. What else? Car. Uh car. Yeah. 450. And then Woo. 450. Okay. Anything else?

3:25 Yeah. And then utilities. I guess that's put in with the rent. And then just you're scrapping on food. No insurance.

3:32 Yeah. Do you have insurance? health insurance. Well, like car my cards. No, no, no. No health insurance.

3:41 Yeah. So, you're not on a you're not on a living wage right now. And so, while I think it's cool to have a printing business, this uh it eats like a a part-time side hustle when we look at the the the income that it's bringing. So, I would be looking as you're working this, I'd be looking for a full-time job. What are your what are your skills? What have you done in the past before you did this business? I I technically just hopped out of school and then saved money and then started this business.

4:12 Yeah. How many hours a week? I've never really How many hours a week are you putting into this?

4:18 A lot. It's probably like 50 60. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um Okay. So, if you did, do you have a buyer out there? Like when you say sell the business, I mean, what's that? Have you have you looked into that option? Is there a realistic option? Yeah, I have Yeah, I have a few options. And that's

4:39 when I mean the business, I just mean like the equipment and everything. Yeah. Um

4:42 Oh, I hear what you're saying. Not necess Yeah. Okay. Yes. Cuz that's where the debt is, right? What did you invest in to do this business?

4:50 Like what what equipment do you have? Oh, I have like DTG printer, heat presses,

4:57 um and a couple other machines, you know, desktops and stuff like that. I I'll I'll tell you. Um you've you haven't been doing the business long, so I don't want to say that there's no future in it. Like, but how much of this debt is business debt? Like, how much of it came from the business?

5:18 Um about eight grand. Okay, that's not bad. Of the 147, that's only eight. I I'm inclined for you to continue. I I what I want to know is what's the minimal amount of hours that you can put in it to keep the 1500 so that you can search for something else. Is there any feasible way to do that?

5:40 Yeah, it's possible. That's that's also another plan I've been thinking of because I have a location um in the premier like downtown area. So, I was thinking of just getting rid of the space

5:50 um trying to find something smaller and then um kind of just work on based off orders I get.

5:55 Yeah. so much like being in there. Do you have consistent clients that you're reprinting for

6:02 or is it a one and done? For the most part, uh, a little bit of both, but I do have I I've picked up a few clients that are picking up, you know, monthly.

6:10 Yeah. And is most of the hours when you're saying I'm working 50 hours on this, is it most of it in the actual physical printing that you're having to do or is it trying to find new clients and marketing and thinking of creative ways to get your name out there? Uh, a little bit of both, but mo mainly the the printing process, like printing and and being in there.

6:30 Okay. Okay. Yeah. So, I'm with Jade. I mean, Miguel, if you have all the equipment and it is bringing in, 1500, obviously, that's not that's not sustainable long term for you to live like that. Obviously, you know that or you probably wouldn't be calling the show. Um, so it's November. A part of me would give give it another six months while doing something else. Like, you need to go wait tables. I mean, you could make more money doing that. I mean, something, right? you need to go be doing something and if you can keep this on the side and actually get some clientele you could

6:58 I don't know and if you yes grow it and then maybe that be your full-time or you just have these clients and you start making 3,000 a month while also still working to get out of all the credit all the debt that you talked about at the beginning of this call.

7:11 Um so I almost would be tempted just to hold tight for like maybe six months. give yourself a a time period though to say okay I don't go into any more debt in it

7:22 uh but to say can I pick up any more steam in this business uh in the next six to nine months and if you can't then sure sell the equipment and then that will give you some money

7:33 um but we just see this Jade and I both I think yeah uh as a great side hustle for right now while you go get a full-time job somewhere else

7:40 the fact that you've started generating money so quickly from it I think is good and you have made an investment in some equip commitment and it feels like worth it to try to play that out a little longer. But I like what Rachel said on putting a timeline on it.

7:52 So I would do that, Miguel. Or just throwing this out there kind of the other side of the coin is if you hate it and you're not enjoying it, but you I think you are liking it in some degree because you said you'd still stay in it if you didn't have debt. Um is is to yeah find something just full-time, sell the stuff, and you start a whole new life where you're not feeling like you have to carry a business, right? Because it does it's a lot of strain and mental calories to do that. Um, so I don't know, kind of two different options, but either way, you got to get a second job either way.

8:21 Agree. Agree, Rich. Yeah. Um, I hope that helps. I know that sometimes the when we just tell people, cut your expenses and get a job. I know it feels tough, but truly that is that is the remedy. You don't have expenses to cut. You're bare bones as it is. So, the next line of defense is getting more income. That's how it works.

8:40 Yeah. Um, and Ken Coleman has a book, Find the Book. find I'm sorry, find the work you're wired to do and we'll send that to you because there's a great

8:47 um it's on a quiz assessment at the back. Yeah. To kind of figure out maybe this will help kind of narrow some possible career paths for you too, Miguel, that you can just kind of brainstorm and think. So, holding the line, Christian's going to pick up.

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10:09 switch anytime for no extra cost. This month, start a new tradition by taking care of you. Visit betterhelp.com/ramsey to get 10% off your first month. That's betterh help hp.comy with the last caller. We were talking about real estate and what that looks like to start saving up towards a home. And you guys, when it comes to buying and selling your home, there's a lot of decisions. It can feel very overwhelming, but you don't have to go that through that process alone. We created Ramsay's real estate home base. So, this is a place with so many resources and tools like calculators, start to finish guides, how-to articles, a podcast, a book, a video course, like everything around the subject of real estate

11:08 because again, buying and selling, it can just it can be an overwhelming process. And the more information you have that you understand and you know, the more clarity you're going to have walking into that, which is huge. Like you you want to be armed with so much information before you go and buy or sell your home. So, make sure to check it out at ramiesolutions.com/realestate or click the link in the description if you're watching on YouTube or listening on podcast. Uh because if you need some next steps towards your home buying or home selling process, make sure to check it out. And one of my favorite things on it is the dashboard. They have the US housing market trends

11:42 and they keep it updated and it's just constantly kind of a kind of a pulse of what's going on with interest rates, median house home prices in America, um total days on the market, um how many homes are for sale around the country. I mean, it just kind of gives you the snapshot picture of the real estate market. So again, you can go to ramseolutions.comrealestates. All right, we're going to the phones and we're going to Andrew in Oh, Cheyenne, Wyoming. One of my favorite one of my favorite country songs.

12:10 Hey, Andrew. Welcome to the show. Hey, thanks for having me. Absolutely. How can we help?

12:17 Hey, so I'm on um my wife and I were on Baby Step 2. Um and it it kind of took us a little bit to get there, mostly because we've been um we've been pretty sick, both of us, um for the past few years. and we're seeking some medical treatment to hopefully nip this in the bud um hopefully in a in a few short months. But the medical treatment that we're looking at that was recommended by our doc is experimental and it's not covered by insurance and the treatment going to be between $10 to $30,000. So we're kind of in a position where we

12:53 Oh no. Andrew, are you there? Andrew. Oh no. Oh man. Andrew, we'll give you one more second. Oh, yep. That's a bad line, I think. Um, we're going Oh, there you are. You're back. Good.

13:06 Sorry. No, you're good. You're good. My phone's a little weird. Um, so, um, yes. I don't know if my wife and I should actually, um, take out a loan or not. We really don't want to. Um, especially since we're

13:19 Can I ask and share as much as as you feel comfortable, but what's what's going on health-wise? Um we we were um so we we got pretty sick from the the the home that we were living in. Oh.

13:34 Um and so like multiple it's been Yeah. So it's just been a lot of stuff that's been going on where um a lot of the treatments have been not either FDA approved or um treatments have been getting us better. We're we are better, but it's it's just been a really long process. So, the last time we talked with our doctor, he said that

13:55 um we should try and do um like a hyperaric treatment, which um seems great. You know, he's had great really great success with it, but um the only problem is that the the payment has to be upfront. Um and so that's that's the only issue insurance. This is obviously something more like in a natural bent, I'm assuming. So, insurance isn't going to cover it.

14:16 No, insurance won't cover it. Tell me um just healthwise, are you guys able to are you able to work? Are you able to function? Like how are you guys? You said you're doing better. I'm just trying to get a gauge about how urgent this this is for you guys.

14:28 Yeah. So So we are better. Um and we are both working right now. Um we make about I want to say close to 70 or $80,000 um right now a year.

14:39 Okay. Um the you know only problem with this is that the the longer you put it off the worse it'll get.

14:46 Sure. Um and so it just What's your margin every month? like what are you right now putting towards debt and baby step two that you could put potentially towards saving up for this or doing one at a time?

14:59 Yeah, we're able to put um close to $600 or so a month into debt. Um and how much debt do you guys have? We right now we have about um I want to say about $20,000 in student loan debt and then about 50,000 in a um in a business loan.

15:21 Okay. Okay. Um, man, this is so hard because I do feel like there just from my own, not my own experience, but people within my close circles of friends and family even that I know, you know, when you get something, it's like autoimmune or mold or whatever that it it it can end up feeling Andrew like

15:42 there's always something else we have like there's a long line of things that are continual. Mhm.

15:48 And so what I, you know, always just think about and kind of caution is I would number one maybe get a second opinion. I'm sure you know your doctor well and trust them, but you know, I mean, we're talking about 10 to $30,000, right? I mean, if it was $2,000 um that's one thing, but I mean, you're you're talking, you know, um five figures going in um with treatments. And so,

16:09 is that a piece or all in? That would be for us combined. Um, I would, and is this ongoing or is it kind of a one time?

16:20 Lord willing, it'd be it'd be just a one time like, you know, one one to two months worth of treatment. So, it' be

16:26 okay. You know, 20 20 sessions is like is about $10,000 on the high end. So, we hope to be done in about a month.

16:34 Okay. So, you know what what I would probably do because again, I feel like this can sometimes feel like a never- ending

16:40 Yeah. cycle. Um I would I would um and because it's not a and I know you you guys are saying I don't want to downplay at all the sickness cuz I'm sure it's just miserable but it's not a life or death like okay I have to save my child right now because you know there's a you know like it's not this it's not an urgency but it is something for the betterment of your health you want.

16:59 So what you know what I would probably strive to do is whatever I could to get because 10 to 30 is a big range. So I would get as close to that 10 and I would talk negotiate doctor's bill. I mean, I would do whatever I could

17:10 to get it down to that 10. And you guys are s, you know, I would work to save a,000 a month. I would be okay right now because it is a health issue, maybe to pause the debt snowball, stay current on your bills. But I would bump that 600 a month up to a,000 and save for 10 months and then starting October, November, Andrew, start this treatment and then hopefully by this time next year, you're through it, you're done, and then press play on the baby steps

17:33 and maybe one of you goes at a time to see if it's helpful. Oh, that's a good point. you know, I know you're two different bodies with two different sets of, you know, but that might be a good way to say, listen, I did it. It did nothing for me or I did it and it really really helped. That might give you some confidence going into the next treatment. It's just a thought like I don't know what you're facing. I don't know if it's headaches or every time you eat you you know whatever it is if it's something that's truly debilitating but if it's just and again I'm not I don't want to downplay it either but if it's something that's more of an annoyance that you're learning to live through that gives you you know there's a little bit more timeline there to get this done

18:07 for sure and the sense too that um you know you don't want to prolong it too long because of what you're saying you know it can come back and get worse unless you have this treatment so

18:16 getting to it right a level of urgency But it's also not the only option and we're done. like if you can and it's not debilitating cuz you guys are working and all of that. Um I would yeah I would find something because I and I would cash flow it and and the other thing Andrew that's interesting is when you are working with cash even when we're talking about you know health situations it does force you this is why I like cash forces you to look at other options other decisions like

18:42 sell something there's there's just um other parts of your brain of problem solving versus with debt it's like here's a chunk of money this is all we're going to do we don't really have to put the brain power to think through other things

18:54 it's just here but when you're paying with cash and you're working and saving hard like I don't know it just it it forces other things to come to the surface of other options and choices.

19:03 That's also true. Um but yeah, so again I'm so sorry that is that's stuff that is like and that's and that has been I don't know. I don't know if you've I've just had people and it's like

19:13 you you go to the next thing and then it flares up again. I know it just feels like it's like whack-a-ole a little bit sometimes with different things. So, I do want you guys to get that treatment, but um but because it's not it's not life or death right in this moment, I would I would calm down, you know, I would I would pause a little bit and save up for it.

19:31 That's difficult. I remember um when Sam and I were getting out of debt. This was before the days of Obamacare and you had to have insurance or else you were penalized. We didn't have insurance and one day he was pulling our luggage out of the back of the Jeep and it got caught on his finger and he broke his finger.

19:47 Oh no. and we didn't have insurance and I was like listen head over to Walgreens tape it up

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21:55 Welcome back to the Ramsay Show. Up next in Boone, North Carolina, we have Sierra on the line. Hi Sierra. Welcome to the show.

22:05 Hi, thank you. Absolutely. How can we help? Um, so my husband and I are living paycheck to paycheck and I was introduced to Dave Ramsey from my grandmother. Um, now I have been trying for the past six months and I'm stuck on baby step one. Um, and we're not getting anywhere. We had half of baby step one and then everything happened with the hurricane and we're back to zero.

22:39 Oh man. Were you guys hit hard? Was were you one of the towns? Yeah, we were. So sorry.

22:47 It's okay. It happens. But I'm just I feel like we can't catch a break. And living paycheck to paycheck is so hard for us. I am a full-time student, um, college student. I'm 29 and my husband works full-time, sometimes even over like overtime shifts

23:06 just so that we can get by. And I just I don't know what to do anymore. What What's he bringing in income wise?

23:13 About 49 to 50,000 a year. Okay. And when do you graduate? Um, I have about five semesters left, so I'll be finishing up in 2027.

23:26 Okay. Wow. Okay. Are you are you working at all Sierra? Um, I'm not, but I pick up petsitting shift um to try and bring in some money. I tried a full-time job and full-time college and it destroyed me.

23:41 Okay. What uh what are you getting your degree in? Um, biology. And what's the goal with that? What What do you want to do?

23:49 Um uh I want to go work on the coast as a marine biologist. Wow. Okay. Okay. So, you're he's bringing in 49,000. You're doing pet sitting. How much do you guys see a month? Like after taxes, after everything? What does that look like monthly for you?

24:05 Um it's about 3 3,500. Okay. And what how are you guys living? Are you renting? What are you paying for rent? We are renting. Um we pay a th000 a month for rent.

24:20 Okay. Um yeah, this is tough. Um the solution that you're looking for, I mean, people live paycheck to paycheck for different reasons. Sometimes it's our spending's out of control and we've got to, you know, re the budget in and rein the spending in and sometimes it really is a income issue. And it's in this case, I think you're creeping up on an income issue. Um, I'm just wondering what is what is your husband doing for work? What kind of work does he do?

24:49 Um, he makes fiber optic cables. Okay. And and you said he had a side hustle, too. What's that?

24:58 Um, he door dashes. Okay. So, I'm wondering I'm wondering if both of you need to sit down and kind of figure out, okay, what do we both need to do in order to make this work? because to your own words it's not sustainable. Are you guys going into debt? Like how are you covering the overages?

25:18 Um we are door dashing every chance that we can get. Okay. Um just so like I can get to class and we can get food and sometimes his mom helps us out.

25:30 Okay. So there's not you're covering the overage then. Mhm. So, there's part of this and and there may be more that you can do income-wise, but there is part of this where you've said, "Okay, I'm going to go to school for the next

25:42 uh three years and I'm going to become a marine biologist." And by me doing that, here's what we've decided. My income is limited

25:50 and he's in his career right now. And so, there's part of this that you guys have decided by, you know, by choosing this path. And I'm not saying it's a bad thing. It's just we've both understood that for the next 3 years it's going to be extremely tight, but there's a light at the end of that tunnel because you're going to be a marine biologist. What's a marine biologist make?

26:09 Um, it kind of depends. Um, I'm trying to get a state job. Um, and that can range anywhere from 50,000 to 70,000.

26:19 Okay. Great. And how are you paying for school? Um, right now I am pretty set uh with financial aid and scholarships. Um, I've already finished my associates and

26:30 Good for you. Very good. Went through that with honors. So, I've been doing pretty well with scholarships.

26:35 So, no debt, no loans. Yeah. Do you guys have any other debt or any debt at all?

26:39 Um, yes. Uh, I have three credit cards, but it only adds up to about a,000, maybe

26:50 1500. And I have a car. How much is that? Um the total on it's 28,000 and I pay um 668 there's a problem. Sierra, you got to sell that car.

27:07 You got to sell it. See, and I'm trying to figure out how to sell it. I'm not sure because I'm $13,000 flipped on this car.

27:15 Oh, wow. So you So you owe 28,000 and how much? And you're saying you really can't sell it except for 15,000 is what it's worth.

27:26 Um when I had it cuz I went and had it appraised at a dealership and they said they can only give you 6,000 for it.

27:34 Okay. So don't do the dealership route because they will always give you a much lower rate than what you could actually sell it private sale for. So go on kelly kell Kellybluebook.com put in all the info and just see on the high end what you could get for it. Okay. Um, so the the dealership told you how much would they pay for it?

27:54 6,000. Oh my gosh. Wait, $6,000 and it's a 28 and you owe 28,000. What kind of car is it?

28:01 It's a 2017 Jeep Cherokee and I have 162,000 miles on it. Okay. What What does your husband drive? What's his deal?

28:10 Um, he has a motorcycle that's paid for. Got you. And um, we have a we call it a hooptie. Um, and it's it's just a really old beater that's also paid for.

28:22 What about the motorcycle? What's it worth? Uh, about 4,000. Okay. Okay. Yeah, I would um Okay. I think Yeah, I would be selling this car Sierra for sure. And even if it's

28:36 even if you can only get 16,000 for it, I would rather have a $16,000 loan than a $28,000 loan. Does that make sense? Like that's gonna that's going to change your numbers a whole lot.

28:47 And if I were you guys, do you guys have kids? We have a 2-year-old. You have a 2-year-old? Okay. Um Yeah. I mean I

28:55 I might sell the motorcycle and take the 4,000 and get a beater car for you and then sell your car.

29:02 Yeah. I mean, honestly, because you can always go back and get a motorcycle again, but you guys I mean to your point

29:06 I mean it's going to cut that payment down when she gets a loan for whatever it is possibly. Yeah. I mean, it'd be Yeah, you guys would have an extra $300 a month coming in.

29:16 Yeah. So, there and there's decisions, Sierra, and I think Jade set it up really well. Um, and it's a it's a it's kind of a hard pill to swallow in life, but it's understanding that, you know, as adults, we make decisions around our life, and not all of them bad.

29:32 Yeah. Not all of them are right or wrong. It's not this, you know, oh gosh, you shouldn't be in school right now. It's not that at all. It is though we have decided to do this route and because of that we're not going to have a lot of money like we're going to be we're gonna feel broke for three years until I get through school and until I get a job and all that and in three years it's going to look different but in the meantime what can we do what other decisions can we make that are going to be adult-like decisions

30:01 that may hurt and they're not fun but it's things like getting the extra job like you guys are doing. selling stuff to see what you can free up. It's getting out of debt and, you know, freeing up income.

30:11 Cutting up those credit cards. Cutting up credit cards. Yeah. I mean, it's doing a couple of these um making some of these decisions within the big decision of the lifestyle you guys have made just to make it easier, Sierra. And that's the thing is is we want peace. You know, we talk about financial peace is what we want for everyone. And that peace is going to look different depending on, you know, everyone's situation and, you know, the way they view life and all of it. It's a little bit of, you know, subjective to a degree, but you don't have peace right now. And so, what I would fight so hard for is in these three years,

30:43 how can we get some peace? And being able to free up some money would bring some of that. And how do we do that? Well, I just listed out a couple options from jobs and selling stuff and all of it. So, um, that's

30:54 what the long term that you've committed to. Like once she starts working, she's got a great pathway to make $70,000. And

31:00 Yeah. And then together with your husband, Yeah. Yeah, y'all will be making, you know, 130,000 before taxes. Like, that's amazing. So, the light is coming. Uh, but it's getting to the light that I think is really key. And what decisions can we make in between? And these are hard, Sierra. I understand like these aren't fun. It's not always fun, but it's getting you to a goal that you guys want together. And part of that is you still being in school. So, I commend you for having a 2-year-old and doing this. And and I'm so sorry about the devastation in your area. We we we think about you guys so much. Um, so we're praying for you. Thanks for the call.

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33:13 You're listening to the Ramsay Show. We help people with your life, your money, your relationships. If that's you, you want to get in on the action, you can call us up. It's a live show. The number is 88888255225 and we'll get you on the line. Today's question, today's Ramsey Show question of the day is sponsored by Y Refi. When you're trapped in a maze of defaulted private student loan debt, it's hard to find your way out, but Y refi can offer you a lifeline with custom refinancing based on your ability to pay and a lump sum payoff option that you could qualify after 20 qualify for after 24 months. So go to yrefi.com/ramsey.

33:54 That's the letter y refy.com/ramsey. Remember, it may not be available in all states. Today's question comes from Lauren in New Mexico. I currently own three rental properties and have 30-year mortgages on two of them. You say to have 15-year mortgages because you pay it off faster. If I am putting my profits from my rental toward my principal on a 30-year mortgage and can pay it off in 15 years, is there a need to switch it to a 15-year mortgage? What's the reasoning behind the 15-year mortgage? I make more profits with a lower monthly payment, which puts more money towards the principal.

34:32 Well, Lauren, for starters, we would say not to even have rental property uh if you're not able to pay cash for it. So technically speaking, um I mean if you could pay it off quickly, I would probably just sell one and throw some of the equity uh at the other and make that a goal to to sell it. But having Yeah. three rentals um that have mortgages on them, yeah, not not the not the best idea. Not really the Ramsy way to do it. But for your primary home, we do say a 15. Even though people, you know, this is one of those that I feel like is is a a slippery slope because, you know, a lot of people will still do the 30 and, you know, whatever it is, but of course,

35:10 but the thing to remember is that your intentions don't always line up with reality. So, if you have the intention of paying a 30 like a 15,

35:20 you know, stuff happens and you're like, "Oh, yeah, well, we won't pay extra this month. We'll make sure to catch up next month." M

35:26 and then something else happens and you end up usually not paying it truly like like a 30. You don't um now when you're paying off your house in the baby steps, we do find that people are paying their houses off in like 9 to 11 years. That's right. Which is amazing. So I think that 15-year fixed rate mortgage that we talk about, it just locks you in to a plan to get you out of debt faster with the guarantee that you will get get it paid off in 15 years.

35:52 It makes you accountable. And let's be let's call a spade a spade. The truth is if you go with a 30-year, you're not paying as much, so you get more house.

36:01 Yes. And I think truthfully, when people want that, they want more house. And not when you're locked into 15 though, it's like, okay, maybe suddenly I can't afford what I thought I could get.

36:12 Yes. So look at the And that's the thing. That's what's so always interesting with houses is that you're going to qualify for a lot more a house and what they will give you than what you necessarily need or even what's good for you financially. So, we always talk about having at least 5% to put down for a down payment.

36:30 Your payment being no more than 25% of your take-home pay on a 15-year fixed rate, which I always say we understand that is a very conservative

36:37 formula uh when it comes to to the housing situation. But just like our last caller, you guys, like you see people like get into housing situations and it and it takes half their income or maybe one spouse chooses to stay home but you can't cuz you built your life around, you know, having a dual income and it it just starts to limit your choices. The deeper you go into debt,

36:56 the longer you're in debt, it just limits limits your life choices on what you can and can't do. Uh because it's telling you basically what to do. So that's it, Lauren.

37:05 All right, that's really good advice. Let's talk to Greg. He's in Buxy, Mississippi. What's going on, Greg? Hey Jaden, Rachel, it's it's so good to be talking to y'all. I'm fangirling a little bit right now, not gonna lie.

37:18 Glad you're here. Um, so I have been listening for a little over a year, but the month before I started listening, I co-signed on a truck

37:30 for my now for my now ex- fiance. Oh, Greg, I'm sorry. Yeah, rough situation. Um so we had agreed uh once things ended that uh hey you know we can keep the loan as it is for a year uh cuz we needed to wait for the um maturity date.

37:55 Okay. Um, and so it's coming up on that and just in talking to her on occasion, she most likely is not in a position to refinance it on her own and she has said that her parents or anyone else won't help her.

38:12 Good for them. So I Yeah. Yeah, definitely. Um, just from my from my perspective, uh, I I'm not quite sure how I can get myself out of this. Have you tried persuading her to sell it and start over fresh on her own?

38:30 I have. Uh, she is not completely opposed to the idea, but I don't think I can really rely on her actually following that through.

38:41 Can I ask a question? And I promise it does kind of relate to this. Who broke up with who?

38:47 No, you're good. Uh, I ended things with her. Okay. There makes it a little stickier. It makes it stickier because this this is a tie to you.

38:57 This is a way for you to still be in her life. And I getting pulled over, Greg.

39:03 No. Uh there's an alarm going off somewhere. I WAS LIKE, "OH, NO. ARE YOU TRYING getting pulled over?"

39:09 Um but my point is like this is a tie to you. And if it if things were different, I'd say you could make the argument of like, "Hey, you broke things off and I want a clean break and I I need to, you know, be free from this." Like you could make that argument, but in this case it does make it a little tough. Um, how much is the loan for?

39:27 Uh, there's about 27 left on it. Okay, man. How much is it worth? Do you know? Uh, I I actually did look up the Kelly Blue Book a couple weeks ago and it said that private party sale was uh tops like 23.

39:43 Oh gosh. And it's upside down. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. This I think this is only going to get worse. Um, so I would really encourage her to sell it and I'd be strong on that. I'd say, listen, there's a reason that you can't re I mean, the math is like the the logical reason is there's a reason you can't refinance this. And the reason is the bank has looked at your financial situation and said it's not stable. You cannot afford this on your own, which means they expect you to default, which means I'm here for when you default. That's what that means. And I don't know what the hard part is. I don't know if your relationship is there for you to even talk to her like that anymore, but that's the truth of the matter.

40:21 I know. Cuz I mean, if you can't you can't make her no do anything. And so, you really are kind of at the mercy of

40:27 of her. I'm like, you can't go in and you know, you know, take your name off the loan in secret, right? I mean, like, yeah. So, it it is.

40:35 So, yeah, you're in a Yeah, you're in a tough position, Greg. And it's kind of one of those um I'm sorry that you're going to have to be one of the sad examples that we'll probably use this week to say when someone calls. I should, you know, my my girlfriend wants me to cosign. We're gonna say, "Talk to Greg in Beluxy." Greg would tell you, "Don't do this because this is what happens."

40:53 My family agrees. My My family agrees that this is the dumbest decision I've made in my life.

41:00 Oh, man. I mean, unless you can just convince her because you're a great salesman. Uh, but coming from an ex- fiance, she's probably not going to want to listen

41:11 to her to your advice. I mean, you broke her heart. Sorry, Greg. And now you're you're I mean yeah there's nothing you can do. So I think it's one of those stupid texts.

41:19 Um you know and I'm praying she doesn't default. Me too. And she just pays this and and gets out of it. But you but that

41:27 she has been very consistent on the payment for that. What is the payment? Uh oh gosh it's almost seven.

41:34 Oh gosh. I mean listen the most practical thing you can do to be ready for this storm is

41:40 if she defaults. Is if if she defaults. and to be ready if you kind of have some money packed away on the side because if she doesn't pay it, it reflects on you. And when it's time for you to buy a house or when it's time for you to do some of the things that you want to do, if you still have a credit score laying around, which you will because of this, it will make it bad. And as we've talked about on the show, having a bad credit score is very difficult. We talk about having a zero credit score, which is wonderful, but this will keep you from having that even if you pay off all of your other debts.

42:09 So, if I were in your shoes, which this is the game we like to play, I would be, which by the way, we don't know much about your financial situation. Do you have debt?

42:19 Uh, I the truck technically and then um I have about 22,000 in student loans I'm working on. I've already gotten rid of the credit card debt and

42:28 uh I'd go I'd go gung-ho on your debt. I'd work the baby steps on that and then when I was through, I would be mindful of keeping some money stacked up.

42:36 Yeah. for your emergency fund knowing this is something you may have to dip into. And I would tell her too, Greg, you don't want to emotionally be attached anymore, right? And this keeps you guys somewhat together in a weird state

42:46 for the future. So, I'm sorry. I hate that that's happening to you. All right, that does it for this hour of the show. Stick around. We'll be right back with you before you know it. The last thing you need this holiday season is more stuff collecting dust or tech that keeps you glued to screens and up too late. You need better sleep. And that's what you'll get with Casper. Their mattresses are made for deep, uninterrupted rest that keep you cool and comfortable so you wake up feeling ready, not wrecked. Because rest is not a luxury, it's an investment. And the ROI is your well-being. So, go to casper.com/ramsey and use promo code Ramsey for 25% off mattresses and 10% off everything else.

43:30 You get free shipping, too. That's casper.com/ramsey, promo code Ramsey. Exclusions apply. Welcome back to the Ramsay Show in the Fair Winds Credit Union studio. I'm Rachel Cruz and we are going to the phones. First up, we have Donna in San Antonio. Hi, Donna. Welcome to the show.

44:05 Hi, thanks for taking my question. I appreciate it. Yes, absolutely. Okay. So, my husband has a student loan that is currently in deferment. It's been in deferment over 10 years. Um, but prior to that, it was in default. It ballooned from 65,000 to 340,000.

44:26 We got Yeah, pretty scary. I know. I know. There was some fraud involved. We tried to take care of it with some attorneys. We were not able to get anywhere. We're stuck with it. We got married four years ago. His situation is he's 66, close to retirement. He doesn't really have any assets, not really no any no savings. I'm 57, probably going to work for another 5 years. I've got about 1.4 million in investment assets which are owned free and clear. We both have a joint account with Charles Schwab, which has about 200,000 in it, but it's fully funded by me. And then we have two other properties in both of our names. Couple of questions. How can I navigate negotiating this balance down for him?

45:13 I'm willing to pay up to 100,000 for it. And how do I protect myself? Are they private loans or federal loans?

45:23 So, um, they're federal loans. Gosh, they they were they were Well, I believe they're federal loans. See, I've had trouble with this. They were federal loans and then they were consolidated.

45:33 Okay. Um, so and from what I understand, you know, I've been to so many different places and I keep hitting a brick wall. It's like nobody can really give me the right answers.

45:42 Um, I've been told I I can't negotiate. If they're federal, you can't negotiate. If they're private,

45:50 um, you can, but if the whole lump of them, if that whole lump is federal, you owe what you owe.

45:57 So, what what's his best route? Um, does he just keep deferring it? No, I mean he he will never be able to pay these off. You know, he'll never be able to pay it.

46:06 So, what tell me about the properties because I I'm going to here I'll tell you what Rachel and I are going to do and then we'll explain it. We're going to approach this as any married couple would who is dedicated their lives to each other and has decided that they're one, meaning that they're one in life, in money, and all of those things. And then we can go back and trace it back if we need to. But let's talk about these properties because what I think is somewhere in the assets between the two of you is the money to pay this off. Um I'm just

46:36 Well, there there's Yeah, there's definitely money. It it's I built this. I mean, we've only been married four years. All of those assets are mine. I mean, I've done what I needed to do and I've built

46:47 How many marriages have you guys had in the past, Donna? Is this Is this He's been married once before and so have I.

46:52 Okay. So, it's both second marriages. Okay. Did you do a prenup at all? Um, no. We didn't do a We have our wills, but we didn't do a prenup. No.

47:02 Okay. What can I ask a little bit about that? Um, so I'm hearing you talk and it sounds like you very much want to protect the wealth that you built.

47:13 Um, but you didn't sign a prenup, which makes me wonder about that. Like, how did you how did you view that?

47:21 I didn't realize how um, you know, I don't know. What can I say? We're soulmates, you know. I mean,

47:27 okay, listen, that's good to know. We're soulmates and and you know, he's a wonderful man. And I'm not concerned about really protecting my assets from him. I'm more concerned about protecting my assets against somebody coming in and swooping in, a lender coming in and taking.

47:42 Got it. Okay. So, in that case, I loved hearing you say that because it it sounded at first like when you said, "Oh, I'm only willing to put a h 100red,000 towards this." It sounded like you were trying to keep your assets from him, right? Like you didn't want to spend too much on his debt. That's the way it sounded at first. But now it sounds like that's not the issue. And if that's the case, can you tell us about these properties? Cuz the money might be there to get free and clear of this.

48:09 All it's all real estate basically. Um and again, they're all owned free and clear,

48:14 right? How much how much are each of the properties? Um, how much am I into the properties? Probably, you know, five or 600,000.

48:24 So, tell us probably around five or 600. Tell us property one. What's property one worth?

48:30 Um, so I've got um a condo which is probably worth around 200,000. Okay. Um, I've got another house which is around 250. Um, I've got another condo which is probably also around um 200,000.

48:49 Are they all owned free and clear? Yes. Okay. Good for you. You've done great. Donna, did you know about his debt going into the marriage?

48:58 I didn't I knew he What happened is his his wife his previous wife handled all the finances. She was a stay-at-home. She did some funky stuff with their finances and he did he thought his he thought his student loans were paid off.

49:14 He didn't realize until suddenly he didn't get a tax refund one year that he was in default. He didn't even know.

49:21 Got it. So it really was like a big shock and then you know he just sometimes men just ignore things.

49:30 Yeah. It was I think it was too emotionally overwhelming for him and he pretty much just put it to the side. So, I knew there was something. I didn't realize.

49:38 How many years did he put it to the side? Uh, probably about 13 years total. Okay. So, there's there's enough of a um that the shock has worn off and then we can address reality that he chose not to though.

49:53 Right. Well, now that's got to bother you, right? Does that bother you? Is that

49:58 Of course it does. Of course it does. Yeah. Yeah. Sure. Um but right now I'm committed to the relationship. I'm committed to my husband and I want to figure out.

50:06 And you guys are in your what? 50. Did you say you're 57 and 66? He's Yeah. Yeah. He's 66. I'm 57.

50:12 Okay. And he has Why does he have no What What's he been doing like like with retirement and all that?

50:19 He he pretty much uh gave everything to her in the divorce. Situations. He He There was like no contest. Just give her what she wants.

50:31 Give her what she wants. Yeah. Yeah. Um, is he working? Um, he works for me actually. I have a business. Okay. So, he does work for me. Yeah.

50:41 Okay. How much is he making? Um, we just have him making something like around 50,000. So, we've been keeping it low. You know, we do we do sort of um um you know, uh W2. We

50:56 Is real estate your business? Is is that your business? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Um, so there's I I hear two things going on here. Um, I think you're committed to this guy. I, you know, great. I think that you need to reach over and probably sell one of these condos and then go into the joint funds and pay this thing off. That's probably the choice that I would make. I think you guys

51:22 I'm worried that and I'm I'm going to say this ever so delicately. There's a there's a balance of power here that is feels off

51:33 and I think that if you don't address certain things, it's going to cause issues down the line.

51:39 And I think you need to sit with Do you see what I'm saying? I think you need understand that completely. you need to sit with somebody and work through this because it almost feels like you're kind of just taking care of this guy. And it shouldn't feel like that. You should feel like you're in a marriage where equal people are really contributing whatever it is they're going to contribute. But you should feel good about it.

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54:15 Welcome back to the Ramsay Show. Up next, we have Brent in Cincinnati, Ohio. Hey, Brent. Welcome to the show.

54:24 Hi, Rachel. Hello. How can we help? So, I'm wondering if I'm able to purchase um a a car for my wife. We've been leasing to own for the three years and upcoming December, we can purchase it for $19,000.

54:43 Oh. Um, the same car is valued at 23,000. Okay. So, you've been leasing it for 3 years. What was it worth when you started? I'm just wondering how much it's depreciated. How much? No. How much was it worth?

55:04 28,000. Okay. Okay. And now it's worth 19, but you're saying you've seen it other places for 23. Is that what you're telling me? Yes. With the same mileage, the same year.

55:16 Oh, so it looks like a good deal. Yeah. Do you have the money? And do you like the car?

55:22 We like the car, but we don't have the money. So, we'd be getting a loan through my uh credit union.

55:28 Oh. And what's the alternative? You just give it up? Yes. Do you have any My wife's very attached to the vehicle and doesn't really want to consider any cheaper options.

55:46 Yeah, I listen I can understand that. Go ahead. Well, yeah. Why is she attached to it? She just likes it a lot.

55:53 She likes it a lot. Okay. Well, the fact that she's not going to be able to consider Is she sitting there with you, Brent? Tell her hi for us.

55:59 Yeah. What's her name? Elizabeth. Hey, Elizabeth. Elizabeth. Um, so, um, yeah, I mean, when you put yourself in a position when you purchase something and say, "Well, I'm just not I I don't want to look at anything cheaper."

56:16 You've kind of already made your decision. I mean, if you guys don't have the money and you don't want to look at anything cheaper, I mean, I guess the only thing that you guys have decided at that point is, yeah, you're going to take a loan out and and buy the car. We would advise you differently.

56:28 Um, and so you called the show, so we'll give you our advice. I don't know if you're going to want to take it. Um because what you realize is you've been you've been basically renting this car for three years

56:41 in the most expensive way possible. In the most expensive way. Yeah. And I know you know you can't really tell the interest rate on a lease car, but when people, you know, actually ratio it out, it's it's high. It's it's usually more expensive than if you went got a traditional car loan. So then you're going to take a $19,000 loan, pay interest on that, and then we're going to look up in four to five years, and this $19,000 car is going to go down to probably $10,000 or $12,000 in value. So, when it comes to cars, it is one of the places that financially speaking, uh, I mean, it's kind of one of the dumbest debts you can you can get into from a financial perspective because again, you're borrowing money and paying more on that borrowed money because of interest on an asset that's going down in value versus like a house, a mortgage, right? You take out a mortgage, you do pay interest on that

57:29 loan, but the value of that home is going up at the same time. So, the car itself is not a wise purchase to make when you don't have cash for it. So, my next question to you guys would be, do you have any cash available to you?

57:45 Do we have No, we don't. We're still trying to get over some credit card debt. Okay, good.

57:52 How much How much debt do you guys have? We have 4,000 on the credit card and then we have

57:59 um a few monthly payments. How what are those? We're still we're paying off our wedding rings which we have 7,000 left over.

58:09 Okay. Okay. And then we have some um a personal loan or paying back my parents which will be of about 2500 left.

58:21 Okay. And I'm doing 500 every paycheck. Okay. So about towards the end of January the 500 a month will clear up.

58:30 Okay. How much you guys make a year? Close to 40,000 a year combined. Combined?

58:37 Yes. Is are you both working? Um, my wife is looking at getting a new job that could make more money soon, but we just don't have the money yet. And I don't want to make decisions on we'll have more money later. Yeah.

58:55 I want to make the decision on what we have now. Absolutely. Which is very wise. It's very, very wise. So, yeah, a $40,000 income. There's no way I would take a $19,000 loan for a car. You can't afford it.

59:07 Do you guys have kids yet? No, not yet. Listen, I'm going to throw something wild out here and roll it over in your minds and in your hearts tonight, but she's not working yet. You don't have children. When it comes time for this lease, like, you let it go. But if you have to be a onecar family for a couple of months while you save up, what's the harm in that?

59:32 Just a thought. Yeah, I suggest that. My husband and I did that uh while we were trying to get out of debt.

59:39 We got rid of one of our vehicles and we were upside down, but we got a small loan for it to get out of it. And then we had one just our single car. We paid it off and then we actually found that it was doable for us for quite a while and we stayed that way. And then when it was ready time for us to have a second car, we bought it in cash. And for you guys in this season of your life, that actually might work out better for you than a lot of other couples because she's not really working yet. And and I'm going to say this, Brent, and I'm going to be very as kind and fun as Rachel is. This comes through, but the what the life you guys just described to us from a financial perspective only is so normal. Mhm.

1:00:20 You you know you have a personal loan to the parents for I'm not sure why you got wedding rings. You didn't have the money so you guys took out a loan. You have some credit card debt. You have a car lease. Like this is you guys are y'all are the normal Americans out there. But the problem is Brett normal is broke. Normal is 78% of Americans today are living paycheck to paycheck. Meaning if you miss a paycheck, you don't have enough to cover your bills. So, if you guys decide that you want to continue to live normally, then what you guys have have so far decided is that and and normal would be to go get just keep the $19,000 car because you like it. That is normal. And you will have normal results because of it.

1:01:01 But what we encourage people is to flip all of that on their head and actually say, "What is the weirdest thing we can do?" Because if I get the results of normal, which is paycheck to paycheck living and not being able to build wealth and not be able to invest or save for the future or have any amount of money in savings, like I don't want to be normal. That's not where I want to be.

1:01:21 And if you guys look at each other tonight and say, "We don't want to be that. We want to be people that have no debt. We have an emergency fund. We're actually funding some retirement for the future. We have a house that we can afford. It doesn't stress us out. We have margin in our budget. Like this life that can be created, Brett, is possible. Totally possible. But you can't get there if you keep doing normal things. So what Jade's saying is a onecar family for for a couple that doesn't have kids. Is that inconvenient?

1:01:49 Yeah. Is that weird? Yeah. But you know what? You don't have a car payment cuz that car payment on that $19,000 car, it's going to be $600 that you guys don't have. Like, so you have to make different decisions if you want different results, Brett. And that's going to mean not taking out a loan for a car. For you guys, the re the reality is a one car family. It's saying goodbye to my emotions, saying goodbye to what I want and what I love and all the things that got me to this place. And you put all that aside and you guys are like, we're adults.

1:02:20 Yeah, we're adults and we're going to make adult-like decisions and we don't have the money. We can't afford this car. You can't afford this car, Brett. At $40,000, you can't afford half of your annual income going to the value of a car. Like that. It's not good. That's not wise. And And I would be working like crazy to get your income up. And And I would start working to get out of debt. I mean, you guys could get all this paid off. Your debt's not crazy. I mean, it's, you know, 2500, 4,000. Like, you guys can get this cleaned up really fast if you just say, "We're going to be weird and we're going to work 60 hours a week cuz we don't have kids and we're going to take side hustles. We're going to drive Uber, right? I mean, like, here's Brent, here, let me put this in perspective. Here's a couple of interesting statistics about about cars because I want you to never go and have a car payment again. Number one, Rachel

1:03:08 just said 78% of the people living paycheck to paycheck, right? 85% of people who buy who get a car take out a loan or a lease to get it. And I think that's a very interesting correlation.

1:03:19 Almost everybody. Almost everybody, which is almost the same percentage of people living paycheck to paycheck. And for most people, that car payment is about $525 a month, which is very close to where you guys were at. And I mean,

1:03:31 and if you invested that instead of g give it to a car company, what would that be, J?

1:03:35 Well, think about it. Most new car payments are over a term of 6 years. If you had listened to us and invested that money over the last 6 years, you'd have $85,000 instead of a car debt that's gone down in value. And so, be weird, Brent. Be weird.

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1:05:32 We're always thankful for the listeners of the show, the people that view it on YouTube and watch us. Yes. Uh, but one of the best ways to help spread the word is to share the show with the people that you know, your friends, your family, even on your social media feeds, uh, you know, even subscribing, leaving reviews, all of that helps because with the algorithms of today, when you're able to get this show in front of people that may not know about it, just like our last caller, he just said, he just found us like two days ago on YouTube.

1:06:03 On Facebook. Yeah. Or on Facebook, is that what it was said? And uh yeah, and it's just it's great because we want to be able to help people. That's our goal for this show. And the more people we can help, the better we're doing at our jobs is the way we look at it. So, thank you again, you guys, for um subscribing and sharing. We really, really appreciate it.

1:06:19 All right, up next we have Wanda in Los Angeles. Hey Wanda, welcome to the show.

1:06:25 Hi, thank you so much. It's really a pleasure to be on the show. Thank you for taking my call. So, I do apologize if I'm high or verbal. is the excitement and the coffee couple together.

1:06:37 You're good, Wanda. You're great. How can we help? So, I recently um got a divorce and I owe my husband $50,000 and I'm not quite sure where to take the money from or borrow the money from for the first 50,000. I don't have any money in my savings. I owe 25,000 on my car, 12,000 to my 401k, and my other um expense is my home. and um my mortgage is $2470 a month. Um I looked into refinancing. I really don't want to refinance my house because my um interest rate on my house is 2 and a quarter. Yeah. And so I've been looking at other like heliloc personal loans personal loan is like 12%. The heliloc is 10%. And and I just don't know the 50,000 is it because of the house like are you get supposed to give him the equity? Yes, I'm supposed to give him the equity out of the house.

1:07:34 Originally, I was supposed to give him 150,000, but he knows that he didn't put any money into the house or anything like that. So, he settled and said, "I'll take 50,000." So, I'm just trying to figure out the best course to give him the 50,000. I did take on a second job. I've been working the second job now for about um three months. I haven't received any monies for it because I just haven't turned in the invoices. Sure bec because um

1:08:03 What's the time frame that you owe the 50k? Um it's supposed to be cuz we went back to court. So it's 30 days after the um court ruling and so the and I got the court ruling in the mail two weeks ago. So I have Yeah. Yeah.

1:08:19 So in two basically in two to three weeks it's due. Yes. Okay. Um, so let me kind of set the stage for this right quick. Is his name on the mortgage? Like is he on the deed or the title of the house?

1:08:35 It is. So typically typically what would happen if if you're divorced, you would do a refinance to get his name off of it and you would do a cash out refinance so that you could also pull the 50K out, give him his money, and now you're free and clear from that. Um, but I see why you don't want to do that because of the interest rate. But I now double check this because I'm not sure, but I feel like you can when you refinance, you don't necessarily have to refinance the ent the entire it might

1:09:07 entire mortgage. Yeah. But just the amount that you're a portion of it. Yes. Yeah.

1:09:14 And so a portion of it would be at the old interest rate and a portion of it would be at the new

1:09:18 interest rate. Yeah. Have you talked to Have you talked to your lawyer Wanda about different options when it considering it's because of the house uh and his name is on it so you are going to have to get his name off the home.

1:09:29 Yeah. Um Right. So, what I was advised was um I actually talked to an the accountant and so what I was advised to do was to do a quick deed to take his name off the title and if he agrees to stay on the loan, let his name stay on the loan because if I asked them to take his name off the loan, they may make me refinance anyways and then I lose the two and a quarter. And so, he said he was agreeable with his name being on the loan and he would just quick deed the home into my name.

1:09:58 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, quick deed is a is definitely a great option when it comes to the situation. Yeah. I mean I mean and we never tell people to go and and take on debt, but there is a point that you're

1:10:08 you're going to be owed this from a legal standpoint. And so you you I mean you you have to give that money and Wanda, you don't have it right now. And so I don't want to see you take equity out of your home and get into that mess of of a heliloc or anything like that. So it may just have to be a personal loan.

1:10:24 Okay? Even though the interest rate for the personal loans is just through the roof.

1:10:29 Well, my I mean from the court of law, you have to give this money. So, either Wanda, you you sell your home and you know what I mean, take the take the equity and pay him what he's due and you have to go find a new situation. Are you able to sustain the home that you're in?

1:10:44 Oh. Oh, most definitely. Most definitely. Definitely. Yeah. The the house is now worth almost 700,000. When we purchased the house, it was at 391. And so, um, I'm I'm very

1:10:56 How much do you owe on it? How much do you owe on it? 360. Okay. And And in California, I can't buy another house at 391. And not in the area that I live in anyways.

1:11:06 Sure. Sure. What uh how much do you make? How much are you making? I I make 188,000 a year.

1:11:12 Good for you, Wanda. And you're bringing how how much are you bringing home after taxes and insurance and everything per month?

1:11:18 What's your take home pay? Um, a little over 6,000. Okay. Yeah. I mean, and and your mortgage payment's 2,000.

1:11:27 Mhm. Yeah. So, you're in But and that's the reason why I got a second job, too, because whatever I do, I I want to chop it down with the second job. I just haven't received any of cuz I don't know which way to go with that yet.

1:11:40 100%. Yeah. I mean, I mean, I mean, you're you're you're kind of stuck between, you know, a hard place. I don't want you to make a bad decision with your home. I think that would be unwise. So, it's not this idea that like, you know, and it's one thing if you couldn't afford the payment

1:11:52 on your income, but you're able to sustain that, which is wonderful. Great. Um, but yeah, I would I would Yeah, do the Yeah, do the quick deed. I would again ask ask the accountant again, wrap back around and just ask what Jade was talking about and if there's a way to take a portion of it um where you're able to pay him out of it

1:12:11 um and and the entire loan is not then, you know, subject to the new interest rates because that would be that that would not be smart.

1:12:19 And it's a blessing that he dropped from 150 to 50,000. Correct. That's that's a big blessing.

1:12:26 Yeah. So Wanda, I mean I'm looking at this. So, let's just say you have you you have $50,000 in debt because of the divorce. You got a $25,000 car and you got a $12,000 401k debt. Uh 78. I mean, that's Yeah, that's $87,000. You make $188,000. I want you to pay this off in 18 months, Wanda.

1:12:45 Yeah. That's why I got a second job. Yeah. Which I'm so proud of you. Seriously,

1:12:49 put all the money to it. Yeah. And that's the thing is, you know, that um when you when you look at this high income, I'm like, man, this and I know you're in Southern California, so it doesn't go as far as it would. in Kansas City or something. I get it. Um, but man, you you have a lot on your side, Wanda. But but from this point forward, I want you to draw that line in the sand

1:13:07 and say, "No more. I'm not doing car payments. We're not doing credit cards. We're not, you know, borrowing on our 401k. I'm living on what I make. I'm going to be, you know, funding retirement. I'm be wise because I mean, how old are you, Wanda?

1:13:19 55." 55. Yeah. 55 this year. Great. So, yeah, here in five to 10 years wanting to retire, you know, and and do something with your life and and you're you're going to be able to make a lot of progress really quickly, which which I'm I'm so excited for you.

1:13:33 So, congratulations. I'm so sorry that it that you know, with the divorce and everything that's kind of brought you to this point, that's always

1:13:39 heartbreaking and grief in of itself. That's um that's so hard. But uh but you have a lot a lot of great change ahead and a lot of things that Yeah. that you can do and make a big a big impact. Thank goodness that he was a good guy and was like, I know I didn't put any money into this house,

1:13:55 right? It could have been 150. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's I think that's the really difficult part about uh one of the many difficult parts about divorce is there's all these assets and it's like somebody gets to keep the house, but if you've been living in that house together, there's also a portion of it that goes to the other spouse. And so, how do they get their money? And so, that's that's one of the frustrating things. And I know like during these times where interest rates it's like if I had it at you know 2.3% you don't want to refinance in order to with these rates and so I think that's very painful.

1:14:26 Yes, for sure. Yep. And and again it's one of these things that to tackle the debt snowball method and even looking at the car I mean she's still she can pay off her car in 18 12 to 18 months which is kind of our um you know buffer. So she can keep the car pay it off. Uh, it's not an outrageous, you know, different amount considering her income, but

1:14:43 but she never needs to borrow from her 401k ever again. Wanda, you hear me? Thanks for calling in. This is the Ramsay Show. The holidays are supposed to be joyful, but they can also be expensive. Between gifts, travel, and about a thousand limited time offers, your budget can start feeling anything but merry. And that's why I love this. Boost Mobile helps you treat yourself and your wallet. Right now, you'll pay just 10 bucks a month for your first 2 months. Then only 25 bucks a month for unlimited talk, text, and data forever. No price hikes, no contracts, no nonsense. Just reliable service that keeps your phone bill low and your holiday spirits high.

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1:16:20 buying or selling your home, it's a really big deal and you want an expert in your corner fighting for you to get the best deal and the best price. Honestly, it's probably your largest asset that you're ever going to buy or sell. So, you want this uh to be a really smooth process. And the Ramsy Trusted program is the only way to find a top agent that you can trust who will make sure that your home is a blessing and not a burden. And it's easy because you can compare agent profiles, interview them, and choose the right one that you want to work for you. So find a local trusted real estate pro for free at ramseysolutions.comagent or click the link in the description if you are listening to this on podcast or watching on YouTube. We mentioned in an earlier segment Jade that um you know about college and school and all of it and it is teacher financial literacy month or teacher appreciation month and

1:17:11 financial literacy month and we um we just appreciate teachers around here. I know Jay and I we both have kids in school and when you have teachers who are part of your own story from being in school. And now if you have kids that are in school, they're just such a gift. Like these teachers are just absolutely incredible. We love them. So we do want to honor them. So make sure to enter our teacher appreciation giveaway at rs.com/teer. Yes. And we want to celebrate you. So make sure to check that out, teachers. All right. Let's go to Sarah in Philadelphia. Hi Sarah. Welcome to the show.

1:17:47 Hi. Thanks for having me. Absolutely. How can we help? Okay, so um just really quick, so when I turned 18, I got married to a man who's about 14 years older than me. Um we ended up getting a divorce. It was like a really controlling situation, but in the midst I did get pregnant right as soon as I got married.

1:18:10 So I have a baby now. Um she's going to be 5 months in May. And um so he doesn't help financially. I did stay home after I had the baby, but I was leaning on him financially. And even when we were together, I didn't go to school. Um so the good part is I don't have any debt or anything, but the bad part is like I don't have like a career path cuz I went right into being like wife and mother and everything. Um

1:18:39 and now I just like need help with like Yeah. Do you um where is your your parents your family situation through all of this from when you got married to now?

1:18:51 So um we got married and like my parents were not super happy with the idea of me getting married. Not because they didn't want me getting married.

1:19:02 I can hear the circumstances. Yeah. And they probably picked up some things around town that they probably didn't like being a 34 year old, you know.

1:19:09 Yeah. Exactly. And then um so we ended up um we ended up getting a divorce. So I'm staying at my parents now cuz he's sitting at our house.

1:19:20 Okay. Wow. Um Wow. Yeah. I'm sorry. Yeah. And he It's okay. Actually, his family has been not his family, his brother and his brother's wife have been great throughout this. Um they let me stay in their house for 2 weeks without like charging me anything. They were super helpful when everything happened. And they were like, "Listen, whatever you need, we're here for you." Like his brother will his brother's wife will call me every day. His brother was always like, "Hey, if you need any help with a baby, like we're here. We have

1:19:48 That's great. You and you need that community right now." Like, if you have that to depend on, I would because the truth is if you are going to get out of this, it's going to require you working some hours, like working a full-time job probably to support your family. And child care is going to be a huge piece of this. Um, so the question then becomes is what can you do for money, right?

1:20:11 Yeah. So thankfully I'm staying home with my mom. Like my parents are thankfully well off. So like it's a place that I can stay and I don't have to worry about like well what about the bills? What about you know my parents are like

1:20:25 okay with all that stuff. It's just like I just don't know where to go from here.

1:20:30 You know it's not like I'm in any danger right now. I just don't know. Yeah. The next steps for you, right, in life. Yeah. Turning because you'll be Yeah. turning 20 and all of it. Okay. So I

1:20:41 um just because of what you've gone through Sarah from a divorce standpoint, having a child and I never want to minimize someone because of their age, but I am going to say because you're 19. I mean, like you're a kid, right? You're still a teenager technically 19, right? So,

1:20:55 so, so that all of those factors, I do want to give you so much grace. Like, you're still a teenager. you're still figuring out how

1:21:03 the world works, let alone the responsibility and the events that you walked through a divorce already, right? So, like just

1:21:10 we have a lot of time here, Sarah. There is no I I do not feel like this is a rushed situation.

1:21:15 Um there's a lot a lot of grace here. I'm like sliding down like a hill, you know?

1:21:20 Oh, yes. Yeah. If you feel probably out of control, so I understand that. Yes. But you're not sliding down in an un um responsible way financially or something, right? You're you're fine. Okay. So, I just want you to

1:21:32 No. Yeah. Like, I have I have no debt. If I have a lot on credit cards, it's like $40.

1:21:36 Like, I have no debt. I have money saved up. I don't know what to do. Yeah. Is the divorce final? Is all of that done? Any legal bills or anything outstanding there? So, that's finished. And does he have any responsibility like from from the divorce? Any um child support coming in? Any

1:21:52 file still? I'm sorry. Oh, okay. She has to file check for child support. So, this is only Yeah, this has only been a month. I have to file still and

1:22:00 file for divorce or child support. Yeah. File for divorce. So you're not Okay. So it's not even Okay.

1:22:06 Yeah. Okay. Good to know. And yeah. So there Yeah. That's why I'm like I feel like everything is

1:22:12 Do you have a good lawyer? Do you do you have someone? I don't. Legal representation. Okay. So that would be step one. That's going to be step one

1:22:19 is to find um someone in your area who's who's who's a great divorce lawyer. I mean, you you're going to want somebody um there supporting you and representing you. So, I would honestly, Sarah, I would make that step one

1:22:34 is to find that person. Um because when you file all this is about to it's about to snowball

1:22:40 into a lot of things and um and you're going to probably you or your parents will be paying Yeah.

1:22:46 for some of this too. So, so that would be my first goal. Find somebody and then figure out, okay, from a money standpoint,

1:22:52 how is this working? How Yeah. How much are we going to have to have? Because that's going to allow you to know

1:22:56 he doesn't he hasn't helped with the baby since she was born and he might he might it'll probably take a court order for him too and even still he might not. And so for you I think

1:23:09 yeah I'm just trying to figure out like what I do without like I'm trying not to depend on him at all cuz I know

1:23:15 well don't depend on him. Don't depend on him right now. What what Rachel says right first step you get the divorce lawyer. Second step, you sit down with mom and dad and say, "Okay, we're we we're getting the divorce lawyer. How do we pay for this?" And find out what help you have and what help you don't have. And in that same conversation, that's also a good time to figure out, okay, mom and dad, like this thing is happening.

1:23:36 I don't live with him anymore and kind of figure out what create a plan and a vision for the future, right? It's how long can I stay here. What's that got to look like? And guys, everybody set really clear expectations of what that means. Do I do can I stay here for a year? Can I stay here for it? And really talk this through because then when you know what the plan is, you'll feel better. And then you'll know what you can actually focus on. If you know that you have 12 months and then at the 12 month point, your parents expect you to either start paying some sort of rent or I don't know what you'll decide, but then that will inform okay, what do I need do what do I need to do next?

1:24:14 Yeah. Yeah. And and I would say too, you know, because we always do talk about that expectation like what Jade's saying and in this case, Sarah, you know, maybe that expectation is dependent upon your next step

1:24:25 and how long the divorce takes. Um it may even be of if you need to go back to school

1:24:31 and while you're in school, you can stay with them, right? So, it's kind of mapping out and again, this is not in a rush, Sarah, for you. I really don't feel like you have to do all of this tonight by any means, but this is kind of your next big steps is

1:24:43 finding the lawyer, filing, starting that process, and then in the meantime, because it's good for you, Sarah, to be thinking through what does my future look like to Jade's point. So, what what is the next steps? What does it look like? And just paint a broad stroke of like, okay, if I'm 23, what does it look like for me to self- sustain? That's right.

1:25:01 To pay rents, all that. Do I need a college degree to do that? Do I love, you know, um, accounting and I probably need to go get, you know, um, you know, a degree in that.

1:25:10 I actually worked as like a secretary for several construction businesses. I like doing that.

1:25:16 Okay. So, admin, yeah, administration is probably really high up in your skill set. Yeah. So, finding those kind of things

1:25:22 and then backing out from there and say, okay, you know, would I be able just to plug in with one or two businesses around to be able just to start working, you know, maybe in the next six months and that's great. Or do I need to go back to school? Right? And then with your parents being that safety net for you right now, how much are they willing to be a safety net financially for you right now and from a time housing perspective like what Jada is saying. But Sarah, stay on the line. I'm going to get you Ken Coleman's book, Find the Work You're Wired to Do

1:25:47 Um because that'll help in that in that mindset and I think it could just be refreshing to you to have a level of grasp and control over your future. But I am so sorry um about all of this and we just pray that it's a smooth process for you from here on out. Thanks for the call.

1:26:22 Welcome back to the Ramsay Show in the Fair Winds Credit Union studio. I'm Rachel Cruz with Jade Warshaw and we're going to Gabrielle in Los Angeles, California. Hi, Gabrielle. Welcome to the show.

1:26:35 Hello, Jade. Hello, Rachel. Uh, it's Gabriel. Sorry. Oh, Gabriel. Gosh, I'm sorry. My bad. Thank you, Gabriel, for the No,

1:26:41 for the fix. How can we help? All right. I was calling on behalf of my mom. Um, she's 72. She's a widow who never remarried. U currently, she's retired. She's active in her church. and she has a home that's almost paid off. It doesn't include taxes and insurance, but lately she's been asking me for money. It started off small, but it's starting to escalate.

1:27:07 Um, how can I help her protect her being independent, but also set up her finances wisely for the future without becoming dependent on me or my siblings?

1:27:17 Yeah, for sure. How old are you? I'm 40. You're 40. Okay. And her house is almost paid off. Is she Is she still working?

1:27:26 She's not. Okay. So, she's retired. Is she Do you know Do you have any idea numbers of what's in her retirement?

1:27:33 Um, she's currently receiving Oh, as far as her retirement savings, she does I believe she's exhausted them. So, she's currently the only income coming in is social security.

1:27:43 Do you know what that is? Um, I believe it was like 1,100,300 possibly. Oh, wow. And do you know

1:27:51 on the bare minimum? Do you know what her mortgage is and what she has left on the mortgage in full?

1:27:57 So, the mortgage currently outstanding balance is around 100k. Okay. And then the mortgage payment is around I'd say 1450.

1:28:06 Oh gosh. Okay. Well, yeah. So, how is she paying for everything right now? I have my oldest sister who's living with her and I believe they're splitting the cost of the mortgage.

1:28:19 Okay. So, they're half and half. Okay. So it's that's 700 and then everything else I mean is she able to pay for is is your sister splitting other bills do you know like electricity, water, all of that?

1:28:31 Yeah. So from what I understand is that my other siblings she approaches each sibling individually and ask

1:28:38 okay for help um whether it's covering a bill or a few dollars here and there. Yeah.

1:28:44 And it's for real needs. It's not for Yeah. Is she ablebodied to go to work? Is she able to work?

1:28:51 She is able-bodied. Uh, however, she hasn't worked in some time. Yeah, that's so hard. I mean, the reality is she either get if she has no if she has no money and all she's getting is social security. It's not enough to your point

1:29:07 when taxes are due for property tax. I mean, once she pays off the house, you know, she's going have to pay for property tax and all that.

1:29:13 What's the home worth? I'm just curious. If she were to sell it, if she were to sell it, what would it be worth? Um, conservatively probably about 1.1 million. Um, it's a five bedroomedroom, three bath. Um, as far as her renting out the rooms, that's also been thrown around, but

1:29:34 I hate that for her. Require uh me involving myself. Yeah. Uh, I'm just wondering about everything.

1:29:42 Is there like a Go ahead. I'm just wondering because my head is that she's 72. She's still fairly young and she's in good health. She could live till 92, right? So, in my mind, I as

1:29:56 in my mind, I look at $1 million that she stands to take away from this and I go, "Okay, we can throw a decent amount and invest it and start that fund going and then maybe she can buy a condo for, you know, 250 or 300. I mean, you're in Los Angeles. I don't know what's there. What's possible? Can she buy something that's very small just for her and then your sister goes and does her own thing? Because I'm also thinking what happens if the sister moves out and gets married or moves on in life, right? So, there's a lot of variables here. I'd love for her to get some hands on that money, get some of it invested, and get some of it in a smaller, modest living space for her.

1:30:38 Yeah, I think that's that's what I envision for her. I just don't know where to start. I think um if I do get the ball rolling, I'm I'm seeing it through start to finish. Yeah. So, where would I start?

1:30:53 Well, I would start with is everybody in Los Angeles, like your whole family, or do you have family that lives in less expensive areas of the country?

1:31:02 Uh, no. We're all basically based out of the Los Angeles area. Okay. Have you looked at or would you know price ranges of again a very modest one-bedroom condo that she could purchase?

1:31:13 Onebedroom, one bath condo purchase outright possibly in the area that we're in

1:31:20 like around Oh, outskirts. Well, yeah, cuz she's got to be able to afford it. 400.

1:31:24 400. Okay. Okay. So, then she could invest 500, you know. Yeah, I'm not mad at that.

1:31:32 And get that ball rolling. And then again, if she's able to not pull from those investments and maybe for just three years work somewhere just to pay just the rent, you know, just mortgage. I'm sorry, not mortgage. Hopefully, it's paid for.

1:31:45 Yeah. taxes, taxes, you know, lights, water, food, um, and and just not touch that money as long as possible and let it grow and then live off of that because it's either going to be that or or you guys as a as grown kid adults all have to say, "Okay, mom's not going to be able to afford this long term. Are we going to be willing to to support her in it?" Um,

1:32:08 so that would be have to be a conversation that you guys have. Will she sell? Do you I mean if if you imagine yourself bringing this up to her, what does that look like?

1:32:16 The last time that I brought up the conversation to her, it was emotional for her. For me, it's pretty straightforward. I mean, the way that we're talking right now is the way that I talk with her.

1:32:27 And um you know, she's open to it. Um but again, uh she kind of pushes the the uh the work on to me. So

1:32:37 yeah. And so do my siblings and all. What do they kind of look to you, your sisters too, to say like what do you think?

1:32:44 Um, no. They they don't have an opinion as far as what she should do. Um, they feel that, you know, it's our home that we grew up in and that you should hold on to it and she's only got

1:32:56 such and such ways to go. Listen, there's no there's no getting around the fact that this is emotional. Like I'm I'm telling people all the time that plays such a factor in how we manage the money. But if we look at the numbers, the math is not emotional. She doesn't have any money. She doesn't have anything. And she's healthy. She has a lot of years ahead of her. So she's got to get to the point where the comfort the discomfort of staying the same is more uncomfortable than changing, right? And that's going to you're start she's going to start to feel the cracks in that when you guys stop supplying the money if that makes sense. The more that you and it's your choice but the more that you say okay we'll float it we'll float it. We'll float it. Just know that

1:33:41 it'll float through the Yeah. for the next 20 years. Yeah. So you guys have to kind of get on the same page of saying

1:33:48 we can talk to her about this, but if she doesn't do it, we have to allow her to feel it because when she feels it is when she's going to realize, okay, I have a difficult choice to make. And just try to support her as much as you can. And it is emotional. It is tough. It's your family home. There's nothing comfortable about that. But the solution often lies outside the comfort zone. So

1:34:09 So it sounds like my next steps might be like to part right. kind of initiating that conversation with my mom about selling the home possibly. And then as far as with my siblings, it's having that conversation. If we're going to do this, we need to stop enabling her um and giving her money essentially.

1:34:28 Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, that I mean that's what I would do. And even pull some options. You can even get in touch with one of our um um

1:34:35 real estate pros. Yeah. just to look for the area like what's in the areas of um where you guys are just different options condo-wise and be you know there could be one a mile down so she doesn't have to move major locations right maybe it's just the actual home itself but um run some numbers and kind of get some more facts around it but yeah this is this is difficult

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1:36:10 the next step specifically for you and your situation. So go to ramiesolutions.com/checkup to take the coverage checkup or click the link in the description if you are watching on YouTube or listening on podcast. Up next we have Derek in San Jose. Hi Derek, welcome to the show.

1:36:29 Hey Rachel, I'm a big fan and it's a real honor to speak with you. Thanks so much for taking my call.

1:36:33 Absolutely. Thanks for calling in. How can we help? So I recently got engaged. My fiance and I are both 36 years old. Um we're looking to start a Brady Bunch. We've got five kids between 10 and 12. Between us

1:36:46 Oh, wow. Between 10 Wait, between 10 and 12? Is that what you said? Yeah. I have twin sons who are 11 and she has a 10-year-old, 11year-old, and 12-year-old. Oh my wow.

1:36:57 Gosh, that's going to be a house full. That's fun. So great. Yeah, it's been really fun. Yep. So, the reason I'm calling um is because we have a pretty large difference in assets and I think based on your advice um it would the advice would be that we should get a prenup. So, I have roughly $12 million and she has roughly 50,000. Um and so we started the process of looking into a prenup and it's been an emotional one. Um, and I totally understand why. And I think especially like we went through a questionnaire talking together about it.

1:37:31 Um, but then when we got the first draft back from my lawyer, that's when she's really not been feeling good about it. Um, and I understand the concern. So, I mean, she feels like I wouldn't be fully entering the marriage in the same way that she is because it feels like I'm holding assets uh like separately off to the side. Um, and I'm sensitive to that and especially in some of the context of her um, former relationship. And so I'm just looking for maybe more clarity and uh, like what you guys would recommend.

1:38:04 Oh man, this is a hard one. Um, because it is I think it is a wise decision to do one. And I say that even more. I have a friend who's going through not a great situation and she came in with a lot more and now he's just I mean it was it's just messy. It's messy, messy. And there's a level um again, you're not you're you're hoping and praying obviously that this is the one and that it's going to last a lifetime, but as you guys have experienced, you know, there there is a reality to all of this. And whenever we any of us get married, right, I think there is like this like, okay, I'm choosing you for a reason and for a lifetime. But um but we also don't live under a rock and know that things change in life and situations come up and unfortunately some really hard things happen and does causes marriages

1:38:55 to to break up right to to enter into divorce and we don't want that. Um, so what were the part I'm curious what were the parts of it that was making her because you guys went through a questionnaire together and it didn't sound like the questionnaire brought up a lot of red flags, but when she was actually like reading it, does she feel like she she won't be taken care of if something happens or like what what's the what's that underlying?

1:39:20 That's a concern. Yeah. Yes. And I think especially like um you know her kids as well too and it's something that um I want to address and I think we could address like in a will or um like some other document or method after um we get married and and it's something that I want to do like I absolutely would want her and her kids to be taken care of too if something you know didn't happen to us. I think it also it it feels very condescending to her um that like the but that either she and I don't see it being a problem for her at all. Like my goal in this and I think that's what your advice is that in our case that I know is rare. It would help protect our marriage and that's what I want to do.

1:40:06 Um, but I totally understand that she feels it's condescending like to her maybe her and her family and her friends that they might be a problem and that we would need this to like protect against them.

1:40:17 Can I can I ask how how like stringent this prenup is? Like how strict it is? cuz when I've heard calls about this before, my my question is always, is there a way that this can be more progressive that over maybe over time and over years some of the restrictions fall off? Like does that make sense to where it's like the longer we're together

1:40:42 question and the more that this feels right, some of this starts to fall off and now we start to become one

1:40:49 and and after a while it's all gone and we are one. Is is there anything built in like that?

1:40:55 So there's nothing currently built in like that. So other than that, it's pretty basic. So everything we enter into the marriage with is separate property except she has a small amount of debt. And she's been awesome about eliminating debt, especially the situation she came from that I I don't want her to carry at all. Like I would we would just pay it off. Um and then everything after the date of the marriage is shared. So income that I make or she made, we just share it. Um, our plan is that she would stop working, she'd be able to be home with all these kids.

1:41:24 Does that include interest on the 12 million like as that grows or does any growth on that 12 million remain yours?

1:41:31 Yeah. So, at least as it's currently structured, the growth in that would remain mine. I think we have talked about it's not in the document, but like if I were to stop working to also help with the kids, which would be an option, like that the income that we drew from that would be considered our income.

1:41:46 I think I would. Yeah, I'd be wondering about that if I were entering in that marriage, like how how can we protect what you've already created, but how can I be a player and how that grows from here on out? Like how can I be a part of that? I think I might be wondering about that. That's tough, man.

1:42:05 Yeah. Yeah. And then and the only other additional part is we're planning to get a house and I was just going to buy the house. We title it in both of our names. I just consider a community property. Wow.

1:42:17 Yeah. Yeah. Well, it sounds like you're you're being very gracious about this, Derek. I think it's such a hard line to be wise um in a situation and being I mean, you don't sound like you're drawing these crazy hard lines and you know what I mean? And you're pushing like it's

1:42:33 um your tone feels very humble and and gracious, which I Yeah. I mean, I think she probably very much appreciates. Um so yeah. I'm trying to think if I were in her position, which you never can fully do for somebody. You know, there's a part of me that I don't know. I think I would understand. You're coming in with 12 million

1:42:57 and I understand that's not mine right now, right? Like there's I don't know. Yeah, this one's hard for me. I I see.

1:43:04 Are you Are you an anti- prenup? No, I'm not. I would not go that far. I think it's just it's

1:43:10 it's it is a very tough way to start out a marriage clearly cuz we're dividing yours versus mine

1:43:17 and everything else in the marriage is our is we say we us our so it it is tough and if you're a person let's you know I'll put myself in the shoes

1:43:27 uh me I've always viewed oh when you enter a marriage it's like this yes you don't know who you're going to fall in love with and that person happens to be loaded and now suddenly are like, "Oh, this picture I had of it being ours is not possible." That's just tough. I'm not saying it's wrong. It's just tough.

1:43:45 Yeah. Yeah. Well, and I think too, Derek, I think it's too I think it can feel like the 12 million's off in this corner and it's never we're never going to participate in it. But I think the it comes into its mine if something happens. But up until that point, it's ours. Like we're sharing assets. That's a good point. That is a very good point. Like we are living our lives together as one. But for some reason, if if something ever happened in a divorce, this part still goes back to me. Does that make sense? I wonder if framing it

1:44:15 that's a good way to frame it because that actually with her cuz that because it it it can be hers, right? Like you guys can share in this. It's the only time it's not hers is if you guys legally go through a divorce. Does that make sense?

1:44:25 Yeah. Totally makes sense. And that is how we went to live going into the marriage.

1:44:29 Yeah. And it sounds like that's Yeah. And that sounds like your attitude because you're going to take some of our money and we're going to buy a house together with this money and use this money for our family. So, I think it's it's such a fine line, Derek. I mean, it's so hard, but I think um I would keep and bring in a third party if there's a great marriage counselor or therapist. Honestly, it's something to to think through and even get other opinions um because yeah, you want to be on the same page with this.

1:45:18 The allnew Every Dollar is here and it is way more than just the incredible budgeting app that it is. now has tons of advanced features to help you make progress with your money so much faster. And the average person is finding thousands of dollars in margin in just the first 15 minutes. So get every dollar for free starting today. Just get it in the app store or Google Play. All right, let's go to Alex in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Hey, Alex, welcome to the show.

1:45:47 Hi there. Thanks so much for taking my call. Absolutely. So I am I'm 28 and debtree. I'm looking to buy a tiny house to put on my parents' property without a credit score now. Um, and a tiny house technically not qualifying for a mortgage. How do I go about getting a loan for it?

1:46:06 Well, let's talk about the loan process and then we'll talk about the tiny house on your parents property. So, with the loan process, if you have no credit score, you're just going to have to find a place that does manual underwriting for that. Now, we would recommend Church Hill Mortgage. Um, there are companies that do that and you just have to check and make sure they'll do it in your area, but it's the same process. You're just going to have to show different trade lines. You're going to have to show your pay subs. You're going to have to show proof of income. Um, if you work for yourself, you're going to have to show your tax returns, that sort of thing. But for the most part, the process is the same.

1:46:38 But how But you're saying it doesn't qualify for a mortgage because it's a tiny house.

1:46:43 Correct. Yeah. So, if it's under 400 square feet, I'm looking at 250 square feet. It doesn't qualify for a mortgage. What's the cost of it?

1:46:51 Uh, I'm looking at about 40 to 50,000. Oh, well, save up and pay for it, Alex. I'm sorry.

1:46:58 Save up and pay for it. It's like a car. Right now, I only have about 10,000. Okay. Well, then just wait a little bit. Yeah. So, just put be putting some money aside, 2 3,000 a month, and just work your way up and in probably, you know, 12 18 months, then you can do it.

1:47:13 Can I ask the long-term strategy on this, Alex? Yeah. Um, so I have autism and I can't really live independently. I So it's pseudoindependent being on my parents' property.

1:47:25 Gotcha. Gotcha. Okay. What are you doing for work? Um, I coordinate volunteers for hospice.

1:47:32 Cool. And are your parents involved at all, Alex, in this process? Would they be able to help you?

1:47:38 Not financially, no, but they've been a great support. Okay. Okay, great. How long did it take you to save up the 10,000? Um, I just finished I got debtree in February and then saved up like 6,000 for my emergency to six month emergency fund and it's so I don't know last 6 months.

1:48:01 Okay. Um, yeah, I'm with Rachel. Just keep saving for this. It seems like you've thought through the best way for you to live and I I like that you've thought through that. I I don't think you need to go into debt for this. And for anybody who is listening to my zero score spiel, that's for

1:48:17 the mortgage. No, but that's it. That are trying to do a full mortgage on zero credit score. But yeah, save up for it. I like the 40 to 50,000. Just understand that you that this is yours. Like the resale on this virtually doesn't exist because it's on your parents' property and this is money that you'll likely never get back.

1:48:36 Um so understanding that is important, I'd say. Yep. Yeah. So running the Yeah. I mean, so it will um Are you able to pick up extra work, Alex?

1:48:47 Yeah, I'm looking for a second part-time job. Okay, good for you. You sound incredible. I mean, the fact I mean, you're very ambitious. You're very well spoken. You know what you want. You've been doing the baby steps. You became debtree. You got your fully funded emergency fund. I mean, you're literally doing it all. The only thing that's going to suck is like the next probably three years of saving for this. You know what I mean? You just look at it like um you know, and people want to save up for a car. they want to save up for a college education, right? And these numbers, these are big numbers. Um, I'm definitely not downplaying that. It's just so it's going to just take you longer to do it. Um, and even though I guess technically, you know, I guess you could ram ver, you know, go through it to say, well,

1:49:26 but a mortgage is the one type of debt and this is for a house, but figure out a way to do it.

1:49:30 But the fact that it's but the fact that there is no resale, because the one reason we do say a mortgage, not only is because it is the most

1:49:36 expensive thing that you're ever going to purchase as a home, but also homes go up in value over time. And this is more like a car in a sense where it's going to go down in value. And so getting into debt, even a personal loan for this um financially would not be wise. So it really would be you putting money aside. And I mean, I don't know about the market in tiny homes. Is there can you can't you can you buy or buy used ones? Can you buy a used one?

1:50:04 Yeah, that's what I'm looking at. I'm looking at them on like Facebook Marketplace.

1:50:07 Okay. Okay. So maybe you could even Alex um I don't know because for some people they may want it off their property. There may be some urgency to get one off. So maybe you could even negotiate with them and say, "Hey, if I have cash, you know, what's the lowest?" You wouldn't be able to do that today because you don't have that amount. But when you're getting closer to that in, you know, 3 years or something, I mean, you may be able to negotiate.

1:50:31 Okay. For for a lower price. Yeah, absolutely, Alex. Yep. Thanks for the call. Um and I again, I think Yeah, I would I just wouldn't do I wouldn't go the debt route.

1:50:39 I wouldn't either. And because you never know, especially if you're already buying it used.

1:50:44 Yes. what type of resale would be. Yeah. On maybe, you know, selling it in the future. Yeah.

1:50:49 All right, let's go to Elijah in Salt Lake City. Hi, Elijah. Welcome to the show.

1:50:55 Hey, how's it going? Um, I just have a question. I am 22 years old. Um, I'm currently going to college right now. Um, I'm almost done with my bachelor's degree. I have only about a year left. Um, I'm only about 14,000 in student loan debt, so almost done. But yeah, that's my only debt. No credit card debt, nothing, no car loan, nothing like that. And I guess my question is, well, I'm looking to go into law enforcement after um after I graduate. I guess my question is, is it worth it to stay for a master's degree if I get an extra like pay incentive for the rest of my career or if I should just once I get my bachelor's degree, take that pay incentive and just start working?

1:51:35 Well, what would it cost you to get your masters? How would you pay for it? So, that one would be it would be loans. Um, but it would be for a total about master's degree. I've I've been doing our research about 18,000 for the the college that I'd be going to.

1:51:48 And what's the difference in job that you would get if you just went into the police department with a bachelor's versus a master's?

1:51:55 Yeah. So, if I went in with a bachelor's degree, I'd be getting a 3% pay incentive for the rest of my career. If I went in with a master's degree, I'd be getting 5% pay incentive. So I guess my question is it it would take a long time to repay that like get that money

1:52:08 worth get that extra 2% every year but I do really enjoy college. I do want to get married before I leave college and I you know enjoy my hobby. So I just don't know if it's if it's makes financial sense to get a master's degree.

1:52:20 Not on debt not on debt but I'm wondering if there's a way that you can cash flow it. Are you are you working at all? And my next question is, do you have to do it right away or can you work on it later while you're in law enforcement and still get the 5% bump?

1:52:37 Yeah, that you you can still get the 5% bump. I've just heard from a lot of people that, you know, it's really hard once you're starting this full-time job to go back.

1:52:44 Yeah. I mean, how much how much are you getting paid like your first year that you're working?

1:52:48 So, yeah, first year if um with a bachelor's degree would be about uh 90k. Okay. And then with a master's degree, if I came in first year, it would be about 95.

1:52:59 Okay. So, that's my thing is that the percentage wise is not big, Elijah. I mean, it's we're talking maybe a $4,000 difference. And you could do that in two months with a side gig.

1:53:08 You know what I mean? Like, so there's a part of me and I know I have friends in law enforcement and they even move around. They get up to detective or they, you know, move around within it. Yeah.

1:53:18 Um, that can change your pay over time as well. So, um, yeah, I think if you had the money and you wanted to do it, I I don't think I I mean, I don't think I would stop you, but also since you don't have the money, it's kind of that's a no-go for me personally.

1:53:34 Okay. Yeah. So, you would just you would Okay. So, you wouldn't be okay with, you know, taking out student loans for master's degree?

1:53:41 No. No. Yeah. I'd get this paid off. And um man, I wish we had a Ramsay dating app cuz I feel like we had a lot of calls of some ladies that are always single, Elijah, and they're always looking for a man and we could have pointed them your way.

1:53:54 I know. I know. No, I I I appreciate the uh the the the proactiveness of love. I do. I do

1:54:03 with him because I do think that's great. I am for getting married young and you know,

1:54:08 and what he said is true. Like when you're in college, there's people right there to choose from. Once you get out in the world, it's like I got to work. I got to go out

1:54:16 after hours. It's exhausting. You know, it's absolutely exhausting. You got to go to an an event, get dressed up, college. It's like you got your pick right there.

1:54:25 Got them right there. Oh, Elijah. Yeah. I hope that helps. So, yeah, if there's not the cash, but to Jade's point, if you're able to somehow cash flow or even if you get into a situation where they help pay for half of it, I don't know, um you know, your work, that would be incredible, too. So, uh I hope that helps. And yeah, good luck.

1:55:17 Our scripture of the day comes from Philippians 3:13 through4. One thing I do, forgetting what is behind and straining towards what is ahead, I press toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Jesus Christ. Booker T. Washington said, "You measure the size of the accomplishments by the obstacles you have to overcome to reach your goals." That's good.

1:55:43 That's really good. Love it. Love it. Love it. All right. Up next, we have Jacob in Grand Rapids. Hi, Jacob. Welcome to the show.

1:55:52 How you doing? Thank you for having me. Absolutely. So recently, recently in this year, I've had a change in my whole money, and it's really been having, you know, $3,000 in a checking account for emergency, putting everything else towards a high yield savings account or cash plus account to some banks, and then, you know, maxing out my Roth IRA as much as I can every year, as well as, you know, traditional brokerage investments. But it really got me thinking. It's like, can you live with these cash plus accounts or high yield savings accounts considering that they accept direct deposits and bill pay and you know you can deposit checks. Can you only live with using a high yield savings account with a credit card? And if so, like what's the disadvantage with that without going through you know your traditional local bank or even your commercial bank like the bigger ones, right?

1:56:42 Yeah. Well, from a high yield perspective, usually you have a limit on how many um withdrawals you can have. So, you can't use it like a full checking account. Sometimes they have a limit of five

1:56:53 um is is what I see most of the time. And um but yeah, you will get a debit card and a um checkbook with that. So you can you can you know take money out of it but you can't I mean if you think about you know the expenses I just think about my every dollar app and when I open it it's like 15 transactions you know and it's like an Amazon an Amazon grocery Netflix I mean so you're you're you have a lot of transactions coming out that will not

1:57:21 it'll it'll exceed the limit of most high yield savings accounts. I see. Yep. So there there really there really isn't isn't much as long as you know whatever company you go with making sure they don't have those limits and whatnot um for a high yield at least.

1:57:38 Well, they they do they will. Yeah. A high yield usually does have have a limit of how many withdrawals you can have

1:57:46 per month. Yeah. So a traditional checking out. Now I will say Jacob, there are some and we're actually kind of in talks with one right now possibly for the Ramsey show. There are now banks that are offering a higher percentage rate, maybe like a two to 3% for checking, just a normal checking, which is great versus I think our checking is like less than 1% or something like I don't think we basically get anything from it. So there may be some more on the market that are great. It's not it wouldn't be considered a high yield savings. It would be considered a checking account. Um but there are some banks that are offering usually online banks are offering more um of a higher interest rate on just a traditional checking account. So that's something you could look into if you wanted to.

1:58:25 No, that is true. I've been seeing that with a lot of banks. Like I'm looking at one right like it's Vanguard and that's the one I was look at. It is labeled a cash plus account. So it might not be a high yield. I guess that's where my kind of question or to myself was a bit confusing. But the main the main motivation behind it is, you know, making my money work for me, right?

1:58:43 And um making sure that it's not sitting in, you know. Yeah, for sure. But I would say the account that the money you have in your checking or the way I look at it, Jacob, is that money is sitting there not to make me money. It's to keep my life afloat. I mean that that and my investments are there to make money for me. Just like you're saying, my high yield savings, it's there for a little bit of that bridge mentality of like we have a lot, you know, we had a good amount of money in our high yield because we were building a pool. So we were writing some checks out of it throughout uh this past year. But I'd rather it sit in a high yield savings versus a checking account.

1:59:18 But yet I know my high yield savings is not where I'm going to make a ton of money. That's that it's not why it's there. It's fine to have it sit there some savings because it will make more than a checking account. But I look at for me my investments from real from um retirement. Winston I have a separate mutual fund and then we also have some real estate. So like I look at those as where my money makes money, not necessarily my high yield savings or my checking. So I wonder if from your mentality perspective, Jacob, to kind of like loosen that a little bit and maybe maybe put some more like emotional parameters around these accounts.

1:59:51 I think so. It's also about the habits you're forming. Like when when you tell me that I'm thinking you're building the habit of I have a block of savings and I can pull from that block of savings for normal every day. Do you know what I'm saying? as opposed to when your checking account's in your checking account. I only use this for dayto-day, you know, day-to-day purchases and my savings over here, I only touch it if it's an emergency. And this HYSA, I only you know what I'm saying? So, you're building those habits and when you blur the lines like that, I think also to Rachel's point, it just

2:00:23 it it I think it causes confusion um personally, but um yeah, I I wouldn't do it. There are definitely worse things you could do.

2:00:32 You know what I'm saying? For sure. Yeah. Does that help? Yeah, that's that's where No, it definitely does help. And you know, that's where I'm going eventually. I have money set aside. I mean, a little background for an investment property, a multif family unit, and it's just been sitting in, you know, I think like a 0.1%. So, I was like, you know, I got to move this for, you know, and I would say property.

2:00:55 Yeah. And I would say this, too, Jacob. if that um I love that real estate goal for you. And if it's going to be longer than five years, you could even drop that in the S&P 500 through Vanguard if you wanted. And um if it's longer than 5 years, you could invest it. It's going to go up and down. It's not going to be as steady as just a high yield savings, but high yield savings, you're only going to get four to 5%. Now, if it's less than 5 years, I wouldn't probably risk it putting in the market. But if you know it's going to be longer than 5 years, you could drop part of it, you know, maybe not all of it, maybe some of it, maybe all of it into just the S&P.

2:01:29 Yeah, that is that is very smart because it compounds and it's um relatively good performance.

2:01:33 Yeah, for sure. So again, that answer my question. Okay. Um perfect. Well, thanks for the call, Jacob. You're a sharp guy. Sharp young guy.

2:01:41 Sharp young man to be able to be thinking about about all of this, which is great. So again, you guys, just to kind of like clear that up, you know, you want to have your checking, you want to have some sa a savings, and we love a high yield or a money market account, but in that you're going to have your emergency fund, some short-term savings that you're looking towards once you're debtree and have your fully funded emergency fund. Maybe your down payment you're saving up for could go in the high yield.

2:02:04 And then beyond that, be investing. And retirement is your number one priority with investing. 15% of your income will go into that. And that's Roth IAS. Yep.

2:02:12 401ks, 403bs. Now, I keep my I keep my emergency like Sam and I keep our emergency fund in one high yield and then we keep another high yield for like renovation like things like that. Is that what you do? I just like it over there.

2:02:28 Yes. That's how I am. That's how I am. I'm like don't count that like like I like to forget it's even.

2:02:33 I know. And I'm such the furry spirits even though I'm like talk about money every day for my job and I'm always like hey babe out of all their accounts like well how much is in this? And he like gives me the number. I'm like, "That's not including the emergency fund, is it?" He's like, "No, it's not including the emergency fund." Like,

2:02:47 never include the emergency. Like, I just can't even like emotionally yep go there. But, uh, but yeah, those are those are some great questions. And, you know, we were um the high yield savings, the returns have gone down a little bit. We saw them. They were crazy.

2:02:58 They were like 5.5 at one point. It was wild, wild, wild, wild. So, that's always a thing to remember, too, in the economy when interest rates go up. It's bad when you're in debt because you're having to pay that interest, but when you're earning the interest, uh, yeah, it might be might be great. Um, all right, let's go to Tik Tok real quick. We'll close out the show with a little Tik Tok. We got Brian and he said, "Because of your show, we're living a dream. We're retired early and traveling the country in our RV and we can't stop saving and eating cheaply.

2:03:24 How can we eat steaks, ribs, seafood without guilt?" I thought that without a grill. I was like,

2:03:31 "Wait, wait." So, basically, how do you enjoy life on baby on baby step? I think they're on seven. And I think they're they're done. They are living the dream.

2:03:38 So I'll give you my framework for like So basically they're feeling guilty about their spending. Is that what they're saying?

2:03:43 But they have the money. So I love this because Sam and I sometimes feel the same way. Like whenever you've gone through a struggle and you've sacrificed to win, you do. It's like oh like you're afraid you're going to mess it all up, right? And so here's why. Five pillars of personal finance.

2:03:57 All right, Jade. Here we go. And if you check the boxes, then you're a a financially responsible adult.

2:04:04 Love it. So, number one, are you living on a budget? Okay, green check. Ding. Number two, are you person who is living out of debt? Like you're out of debt, you don't have a debt. Ding. Check that box. If you're I carry the proper insuranceances. Do I have the proper insuranceances? Yes. Check that box. Am I a person who's saving for the future? Am I doing, you know, my 15% to retirement? Am I doing the 529? Am I investing in my, you know, force savings account through my home? Ding. And am I prioritizing giving? If you're green checking all those boxes, permission to spend to use your

2:04:35 enjoy some life. I love it. I love it. Hope that helps, Brian. Enjoy the RV life. The retired life that is.

2:04:42 I love it. Oh, well, thanks to all the guys in the booth for helping out, Jade. Thanks for the great hour. And remember to take control of your money and create a life you love. Heat. Heat.

Questions about this episode

Who speaks in "You Can’t Win With Money When Your Relationships Are Messy | December 29, 2025"?

Andrew (Guest), Rachel Cruz (Guest), Jade Warshaw (Host), Miguel (Guest), Sierra (Guest), Alex (Guest), Elijah (Guest), Jacob (Guest).

What is "You Can’t Win With Money When Your Relationships Are Messy | December 29, 2025" about?

This content emphasizes the importance of addressing personal relationships and financial management to alleviate money stress in 2026. It highlights a call from Miguel, who grapples with $147,000 in debt and contemplates selling his fluctuating printing business, underpinning the idea that financial success is intertwined with personal circumstances and decision-making.

What is mentioned in this The Ramsey Show episode?

5 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Every Dollar, Cheyenne, Wyoming, Boone, North Carolina, Buxy, Mississippi, SiriusXM. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "You Can’t Win With Money When Your Relationships Are Messy | December 29, 2025"?

The episode runs 2 h 5 min; the transcript is about 24,055 words in 466 timestamped sections.

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