Transcript

TCL GREATEST HITS PART 2

From TRUE CRIME Loser · Episode page · Watch on YouTube

· 35 min · 5,613 words · 32 timestamped sections

This is the full, timestamped transcript of "TCL GREATEST HITS PART 2", an episode of TRUE CRIME Loser published December 9, 2024 (35 min, about 5,613 words). It mentions 33 people, works and ideas, including Tyson Bradshire, Grand Junction, Rocky Mountains, True Crime, pills.

What this episode is about

Synopsis: The piece humorously critiques legal culture and personal downfall, contrasting a discouraged group therapy scene for failed lawyers connected to Sarah Boon with chaotic, over-the-top courtroom anecdotes and a self-promotional pitch. It satirizes burnout, public scrutiny, and failed ambition through sharp, rapid-fire vignettes.

Key takeaways

  • Gritty venting beats formal therapy: group dynamics reveal pressure points, not solutions, for failed careers and shattered identities.
  • Punchy persona toggles mask: saturated showmanship vs. inner collapse exposes how performance Hide/Seek harms professionals.
  • Warning: sensational content foregrounds risk, yet the real hazard is untreated trauma masquerading as spectacle.
  • Legal careers crave boundaries; when overwhelmed, the system rewards spectacle over support, amplifying burnout and deterrence.
  • Satellite anecdotes collide: personal meltdown, sensational cases, and social media glare create a toxic feedback loop.

Who speaks in this episode?

What is discussed, and when

  1. – 5:00: pills, Harold Boon, Mount Everest, True Crime
  2. – 10:00: pills, Alec Murdoch, Chandler Halderson, Nicholas Alivian
  3. – 15:00: Tyson Bradshire, Grand Junction, Alec Murdoch
  4. – 20:00: Grand Junction, Colorado River, Drug Game
  5. – 25:00: Fort Collins, Grand Junction, Rocky Mountains, I70
  6. – 30:00: Rocky Mountains
  7. – 35:00: Blizzard Rescue Vehicle, Sheriff's Department, Rocky Mountains

Notable quotes from "TCL GREATEST HITS PART 2"

  • Number six the old if the snot hits you must a quit I'm on pills reading his charges is like singing the song 12 Days of Christmas check this out Sydney for his little parade stunt got 17 counts of unlawful use of a weapon 15 counts of.
    about pills · at
  • For you today I got a great show I do not everything right so let's get this going all right here we go so Sherry paninis True Crime loser is filmed in front of a live studio…
    about True Crime · at
  • Tyson bradshire was one of my buddies from high school and they found his body face down in the middle of the road shot the head 3 minutes from where my parents live in Grand…
    about Tyson Bradshire · at
  • Beautiful Colorado River and here are law enforcement with the K9 unit with rifles drawn waiting for him to get out of the river and how this ended up happening this is a…
    about Colorado River · at
  • Tyson he always was a bit of a ham but I think what happened was I don't really know this is all just speculation I think he got really into the drug game after high school and…
    about Drug Game · at
  • Horrible dumping snow high winds just brutal and so I'm looking I got to get back to get to work I have a job I had lived in Fort Collins for a while so I have a life and my…
    about Fort Collins · at
  • Trying to stop they're able to stop and so now we're dead stopped on the highway at the top of the Rocky Mountains in a blizzard it's not a good idea to stop in the middle of…
    about Rocky Mountains · at
  • Line for us and it was the big truck was the blizzard rescue vehicle in the High Country the sheriff's department they have these blizzard rescue vehicles six-wheel Drive huge…
    about Sheriff's Department · at

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

  • Tyson Bradshire — Person · Central referenced person / subject of story · 1 mention · first at
    A major narrative thread is the host recounting the reported murder of Tyson Bradshire, a high-school friend from Grand Junction, plus an earlier 2018 police chase incident involving the Colorado River.
  • Harold Boon — Person · Referenced true-crime subject · 2 mentions · first at
    Used as the basis for a joke about a 'support group' for attorneys who attempted to represent her, framing the episode’s true-crime satire tone.
    I think they need to set up a support group for all of the people that attempted to be Sarah Boon's attorney I picture all of them sitting in a circle in a dingy church…
  • Alec Murdoch — Person · Referenced true-crime figure · 2 mentions · first at
    Used in a vivid metaphor about opiates, pills, guns, and money culminating in 'the end' of him—part of the episode’s crime-and-addiction satire.
    Everybody's screaming and coughing and puking and pooping their pants this summer directed Evolution I picture Alec walking up to the financial cliff doing the same…
  • Nicholas Alivian — Person · Referenced true-crime figure (satirical 'pathetic-off') · 1 mention · first at
    Presented in a comedic boxing-announcer bit describing alleged crimes and deception, reinforcing the episode’s true-crime commentary style.
    And I'm the announcer it's time for the main pathetic event in the Red Corner we have Nicholas alivian Nicholas is a convicted sex offender and is currently on trial for rape for the past 5 years he's pretended to be a fat unhealthy ugly.
  • Chandler Halderson — Person · Referenced true-crime figure (satirical 'pathetic-off') · 1 mention · first at
    Another example in the comedic 'pathetic event' segment, cited for murdering his parents and extensive lying.
    Alian and from his wheelchair he pumps his arm to deafening booze in the Red Corner we have Chandler halderson Chandler murdered his own parents and tried to cremate them in…
  • Jod Hilderbrandt — Person · Referenced figure (satirical ad/character) · 1 mention · first at
    Introduced as a caricature promoting 'therapy sessions' via 'Connections' and 'Moms of Truth,' used to satirize therapy/coaching groups.
    In inside and out which has led me to project my self-hatred onto men if you and your spouse sign up for therapy sessions with connections not only will I thoroughly ruin your…
  • Frankie Grande — Person · Referenced commentator (joke benchmark) · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as a comparison point for wordy legal charges—used as a comedic reference to a known true-crime/psychology commentator style.
    By car you know it's not a good sign when your answer has more words than a Dr Grande joke it's a little bit wordy watch out everybody I'll do it I'll do it hi sharks my name is Scott and I'm seeking.

Companies & orgs

  • Sheriff's Department — Organization · Rescue organization in blizzard story · 2 mentions · first at
    A sheriff’s department officer coordinates cars off the highway and references specialized blizzard rescue vehicles, enabling the speaker’s safe outcome.

Products & tech

  • Blizzard Rescue Vehicle — Technology · Key technology in rescue story · 2 mentions · first at
    Described as a six-wheel-drive high-capability truck used to manage dangerous blizzard conditions and guide motorists to safety.
    Blizzard no visibility totally slick roads definitely putting his life on the line for us and it was the big truck was the blizzard rescue vehicle in the High Country the…
  • Sherpa Ride Capsule — Product · Fictional product in sketch · 1 mention · first at
    A 'Shark Tank' parody pitch about being carried up Everest in a capsule; reinforces themes of satire, equity pitches, and absurd consumerism.
    It hi sharks my name is Scott and I'm seeking $200,000 for 15% equity in my company the sherpa ride capsule have you ever wanted to climb Mount Everest but you're in nowhere near good enough shape well now you can simply get into one of our.

Concepts & topics

  • True Crime — Concept · Core genre framing · 1 mention · first at
    The episode repeatedly references true-crime cases and personalities (Sarah Boon, Chandler Halderson, etc.) in a comedic/critical tone.
  • pills — Concept · Recurring comedic motif / substance-use reference · 3 mentions · first at
    Pills are referenced as an excuse for lying and as part of a broader theme of substance abuse (including opiates) tied to crime and self-destruction.
  • Drug Game — Concept · Explanatory concept in Tyson story · 1 mention · first at
    The speaker speculates Tyson became involved in the 'drug game' after high school, offering a possible context for violence.
  • Support Group — Concept · Comedic framing device · 1 mention · first at
    The opening bit imagines a support group for lawyers affected by representing Sarah Boon, setting the episode’s satirical tone.
    I think they need to set up a support group for all of the people that attempted to be Sarah Boon's attorney I picture all of them sitting in a circle in a dingy church basement the air is.
  • Opiates — Concept · Substance reference in Alec Murdoch bit · 1 mention · first at
    Used to describe intoxication and downfall imagery in the Alec Murdoch metaphor, tying addiction to crime themes.
    Toes pointed arms SPL out with a grin A Satisfied grin on his face that everybody has when the opiates kick in and he's just floating down with a perfect Swan Dive and falling…
  • assault — Concept · Legal charge category referenced · 2 mentions · first at
    Appears as part of the charge list (including attempted assault), supporting the episode’s focus on crime and legal consequences.
    Of a driver one count of second degree attempted assault one count of reckless driving one count of attempting to assault the public safety officer and one count of attempting to elude police by car you know it's not a good sign when.
  • Unlawful Use of a Weapon — Concept · Legal charge referenced · 1 mention · first at
    Listed among numerous charges in a comedic '12 Days of Christmas' style recitation, emphasizing severity/absurdity of the charge list.
    Like singing the song 12 Days of Christmas check this out Sydney for his little parade stunt got 17 counts of unlawful use of a weapon 15 counts of Reckless endangering another…
  • Reckless Endangerment — Concept · Legal charge referenced · 1 mention · first at
    Part of the long list of charges read aloud for comedic effect, reinforcing the criminal-justice theme.
    Christmas check this out Sydney for his little parade stunt got 17 counts of unlawful use of a weapon 15 counts of Reckless endangering another person two counts of failing to…
  • Attempted Assault — Concept · Legal charge referenced · 1 mention · first at
    Explicitly cited twice in the charge list (second-degree attempted assault; attempting to assault an officer).
    Of a driver one count of second degree attempted assault one count of reckless driving one count of attempting to assault the public safety officer and one count of attempting to elude police by car you know it's not a good sign when.
  • Elude Police — Concept · Legal charge referenced · 1 mention · first at
    Referenced as 'attempting to elude police by car,' echoing the episode’s chase/arrest motifs (also mirrored in Tyson’s 2018 chase story).
    Driving one count of attempting to assault the public safety officer and one count of attempting to elude police by car you know it's not a good sign when your answer has more words than a Dr Grande joke it's a little bit wordy.
  • Equity — Concept · Business pitch concept in sketch · 1 mention · first at
    Appears in the Shark Tank parody where 'Scott' asks for money in exchange for equity in the Sherpa Ride Capsule company.
    It hi sharks my name is Scott and I'm seeking $200,000 for 15% equity in my company the sherpa ride capsule have you ever wanted to climb Mount Everest but you're in nowhere near good enough shape well now you can simply get into one of our.
  • Therapy — Concept · Satirical target · 1 mention · first at
    Referenced via a parody promotion of 'therapy sessions' that 'ruin your marriage,' mocking exploitative counseling/coaching.
    In inside and out which has led me to project my self-hatred onto men if you and your spouse sign up for therapy sessions with connections not only will I thoroughly ruin your…
  • Therapy Sessions — Concept · Satirical service offering · 1 mention · first at
    Presented as part of the Jod Hilderbrandt parody ad for 'Connections,' mocking manipulative relationship counseling.
    In inside and out which has led me to project my self-hatred onto men if you and your spouse sign up for therapy sessions with connections not only will I thoroughly ruin your…
  • Reckless Driving — Concept · Legal charge referenced · 1 mention · first at
    Included in the comedic charge recitation, aligning with themes of dangerous behavior and law enforcement.
    Counts of failing to perform the duties of a driver one count of second degree attempted assault one count of reckless driving one count of attempting to assault the public safety officer and one count of attempting to elude police by.
  • Ceviche — Concept · Luxury-war satire detail · 1 mention · first at
    Used as a vivid image in the Black Rock TV sketch contrasting war with elite comfort.
    One at Black Rock we know war is hell but only if you're there if you're on the other side of the planet eating ceviche on a mega yacht it's honestly not that bad black rock…
  • evolution — Concept · Referenced concept (movie-trailer bit) · 1 mention · first at
    Appears as a mock 'this summer' trailer premise, used for comedic escalation rather than scientific discussion.
    Total panic windows are being broken everybody's screaming and coughing and puking and pooping their pants this summer directed Evolution I picture Alec walking up to the…

Places & events

  • Grand Junction — Place · Key setting · 4 mentions · first at
    Grand Junction is where the speaker grew up, where Tyson Bradshire was found, and where the speaker contacts sources to learn details about the killing.
    From high school and they found his body face down in the middle of the road shot the head 3 minutes from where my parents live in Grand Junction I was like what the hell and…
  • Rocky Mountains — Place · Key setting (survival/blizzard story) · 4 mentions · first at
    The speaker describes a dangerous winter drive over the Rocky Mountains, emphasizing risk, fear, and rescue by a sheriff-led blizzard vehicle.
  • Fort Collins — Place · Key setting (college/work life) · 2 mentions · first at
    The speaker describes attending CSU and needing to return to Fort Collins, motivating the dangerous I-70 winter drive story.
  • Colorado River — Place · Key setting (Tyson incident) · 1 mention · first at
    The river is central to the 2018 photo/story where Tyson allegedly jumped in to evade arrest during a chase near Grand Junction.
  • I70 — Place · Key setting (dangerous travel corridor) · 1 mention · first at
    I-70 is described as the treacherous route over mountain passes during a blizzard, framing the rescue narrative.
    Rocky Mountains I70 over Veil pass the whole thing I looked it up yesterday it's technically considered the eighth most treacherous stretch of road in the whole country going…
  • Mount Everest — Place · Setting in sketch · 2 mentions · first at
    Used as the aspirational backdrop for the Sherpa Ride Capsule parody, symbolizing extreme achievement commodified for social media.
    $200,000 for 15% equity in my company the sherpa ride capsule have you ever wanted to climb Mount Everest but you're in nowhere near good enough shape well now you can simply…

Media & podcasts

  • Black Rock TV — Media · Referenced media brand (satirical ad) · 1 mention · first at
    Appears in a mock commercial about war and luxury, contributing to the episode’s sketch-comedy structure.
    The other side of the planet eating ceviche on a mega yacht it's honestly not that bad black rock war as hell but only if you're there ding we could edit in like a tooth…

Full transcript with timestamps

I think they need to set up a support group for all of the people that attempted to be Sarah Boon's attorney I picture all of them sitting in a circle in a dingy church basement the air is thick with cigarette smoke and the smell of cheap coffee one of them speaks so I was um Sarah Boon's lawyer number four everyone's like hello for ever since I I worked with Sarah I haven't been able to practice law since every time I'm like all right you got to get back to work even just thinking about taking a case or opening a law book my Palms start sweating and I start shaking and half the time I have to dive for a trash can to throw up for about the past two years I've just been watching TV and sweatpants and my wife left me I heard recently she's dating another guy another lawyer and just through the grapevine I happened to hear that he won his most recent case so Hey listen she ruined my life the moderator is like thank you so

much number four that was really Brave of you to share that okay well unfortunately number five sadly jumped off a bridge last week so we'll just go straight to number six six go ahead number six the old if the snot hits you must a quit I'm on pills reading his charges is like singing the song 12 Days of Christmas check this out Sydney for his little parade stunt got 17 counts of unlawful use of a weapon 15 counts of Reckless endangering another person two counts of failing to perform the duties of a driver one count of second degree attempted assault one count of reckless driving one count of attempting to assault the public safety officer and one count of attempting to elude police by car you know it's not a good sign when your answer has more words than a Dr Grande joke it's a little bit wordy watch out everybody I'll do it I'll do it hi sharks my name is Scott and I'm seeking $200,000 for 15% equity in my company

the sherpa ride capsule have you ever wanted to climb Mount Everest but you're in nowhere near good enough shape well now you can simply get into one of our capsules a sherpa will strap you to his back and lug your fat ass up the mountain our capsules are heated air conditioned equipped with WiFi all your favorite streaming platforms video games and stocked full of candy and soda there's even a little button that when pushed gives your Sherpa a little shock to let him know hey pick it up a little bit there sherpy we don't got all day my Instagram followers are waiting for a mission update once you get to the top you simply get out of the capsule feeling warm and well rested to take your picture at the summit guaranteed to get a satisfying amount of likes so sharks which one of you want to join me and climb to the top of the industry I lied I did lie I was taking pills I lied to Paw Paw row roll bus bus Tut

two I lied about being down there that night I was taking pills all right good all right everybody check one2 doing a new mic great show for you today I got a great show I do not everything right so let's get this going all right here we go so Sherry paninis True Crime loser is filmed in front of a live studio audience Black Rock TV spot take one at Black Rock we know war is hell but only if you're there if you're on the the other side of the planet eating ceviche on a mega yacht it's honestly not that bad black rock war as hell but only if you're there ding we could edit in like a tooth Sparkle you know ding hey folks I would like to make an official submission for the creepiest van in the world all right so not only do we have your classic unmarked abandoned white van that was most likely used in some horrible crime but it's equipped with locking from the outside pad locks from the outside okay there is a bucket under

there I assume to catch the blood the windows are all broken out you would think hey it's actually not a bad shelter if you were uh homeless but then you come over here and there's literal poop on the driver's seat the poop seat it has a parking ticket right there in the cup holder and also I have a feeling those aren't being paid that's the worst isn't it you think your hard earned life savings is being looked after by the next genius Visionary only to realize he's just a pilled out nerd with frizzy hair maybe they could do like a pathetic off or something raise money for a fundraiser I could be the announcer I've been practicing like picture this packed drunk bloodthirsty crowd they're both in a boxing ring one's on this side one's in this side and I'm the announcer it's time for the main pathetic event in the Red Corner we have Nicholas alivian Nicholas is a convicted sex offender and is currently on trial for

rape for the past 5 years years he's pretended to be a fat unhealthy ugly paralyzed Scottish orphan named Arthur Knight he sued the victim of his sexual assault twice and her boyfriend once there is no dep to the what he will do to reduce himself Nicholas the pathetic litigious rat alian and from his wheelchair he pumps his arm to deafening booze in the Red Corner we have Chandler halderson Chandler murdered his own parents and tried to cremate them in the small family fireplace with predictably ghastly results he lied about everything to a truly unspeakable degree including getting a job at SpaceX how he got out of the lie at SpaceX is he faked a fall down the stairs which he claims left him with weak leg legs and a slow mind at the end he didn't have 50 cents to his name to buy a bag of chips Chandler weak legs harderson and he stands there and goes what kind of just looking confused and a

little bit uneasy on his weak legs hi I'm jod hilderbrandt and I'm a total psycho and owner and operator of connections and moms of truth I have a repulsive personality and I'm butt ugly in inside and out which has led me to project my self-hatred onto men if you and your spouse sign up for therapy sessions with connections not only will I thoroughly ruin your marriage but also your life so sign up with connections today but that would mean the baby would be scampering and scurrying down the highway at a horrifying speed like some insect a nightmarish insecti Highway baby oh my God this summer there's an accident at the lab it shows someone in a white doctor's coat dropping a beaker no it shatters on the floor all the doctors in the laboratory look at each other in horror then it cuts to the president in the Oval Office talking on the phone what do you mean it's too late then it cuts to outside on the street

Street everybody's running around in total panic windows are being broken everybody's screaming and coughing and puking and pooping their pants this summer directed Evolution I picture Alec walking up to the financial cliff doing the same concentrated movements of an Olympic High diver and he steps up to the cliff and all he's wearing is a red Speedo and a red bow tie and he jumps off the cliff with perfect Swan di form toes pointed arms SPL out with a grin A Satisfied grin on his face that everybody has when the opiates kick in and he's just floating down with a perfect Swan Dive and falling with him are a bunch of pills and guns and money and eventually he splatted like really like nothing I've probably ever seen before and once he Splats then all the pills and guns land around him and B and then the money is the last thing that floats down and it's the end of Alec Murdoch probably the worst condition

I've ever seen a living human was back in my dog walking days I was walking to my next dog to pick it up and it was possibly the hottest day of the whole summer dangerously hot I remember the lady that owned the dog Walking Company sent out an email to everybody that morning hey it's too hot to even walk the dogs around the block today so just take them out let them do their business and then go right back into the apartment and just play with them inside or hang out with them in the owner's apartment so it's brutally hot I'm dumping water on my head all day walking to my next dog and I see this guy holding a duster can and he's sitting on the side walk walk leaning up against a pizza shop huffing duster and he was out in the brutal sun and he was sunburned and he looked minutes from death and I was like oh my God he looked like he had peed himself just really in not a good condition and I was walking by and

looking I'm like this dude is going to die very soon so I went into the pizza shop where he was what where he was leaning up against I went into the pizza shop and bought a bottle of water and I came out and I said dude you got to drink this and move into the shade do you want me to call you an ambulance or something and he's sitting there and he looks up at me and takes a huge rip a duster and then just goes and I'm holding out the bottle of water while he's just going ah

another wild story that I want to tell you guys is a couple weeks ago I got a text and it said from a buddy I went to high school with and he goes Tyson bradshire was murdered last night and Tyson bradshire was one of my buddies from high school and they found his body face down in the middle of the road shot the head 3 minutes from where my parents live in Grand Junction I was like what the hell and Tyson was in high school and outside of high school was a real deal tough guy a tough guys tough guy other tough guys when Tyson around seemed to be a little bit quieter and one time we were way out a small group of us way out in the middle of the desert and just camping had a fire going and these two dudes on dune buggies we were probably 16 17 years old these two dudes in their 30s sketchy neck tattoos looked like kind of meth Vibes they showed up on Doom buggies and were like hey what are you

guys doing out here oh let me let us get a beer and no one wanted them around and they were acting sketchy and we're all looking at each other like how are we going to get rid of these guys or what if they start attacking us and all of a sudden Tyson who drove a badass 90s Camaro all of a sudden Tyson gets there and I hear his Camaro and I'm just thinking yes and he pulls up to the campsite and he hops out and he's wearing jeans and a cut off t-shirt and he was one of the best wrestlers in our high school was a big high school to be the best that's any sport was hard to do he's one of the best wrestlers one of the best football players and he gets out he's wearing a sleeveless shirt and the Sun is setting in the desert and no one even needed to say anything he just saw the way we were looking at him and the way the vibe was and he walked up to those two sketchy 30-year-olds and he put his hat on backwards and he said

it's time for you guys to leave and whenever Tyson put his hat on backwards he was about ready to beat the [ __ ] out of somebody and I saw him I saw him be beat up a couple people bad in high school and he just he Not only was god-given durable and tough as they come but he was also a really good athlete he could do a standing back flip he could do a one-handed handstand and then flip to the other hand and then flip onto his feet and wrestlers are tough to be actually a good wrestler not only do they are they strong and built and tough but they know all the trips and the throws and the holds and everything so it was a total nightmare whoever ended up fighting Tyson they they wound up regretting it pretty quick so anyway I get this text a couple weeks ago yeah Tyson got murdered I had lost total contact with Tyson After High School we went different way you know went our separate ways never talked or

anything but during for a year or two in high school we were good friends and the whole thing is one for the books I got to show you guys these pictures because I think it was in 2018 so years ago at this point my friend sends me this picture so let me show you I'm going to flip around and show you on my computer one second all right we're back so I think it was 2018 but out of the blue I got this picture texted to me going look what Tyson got himself into look at legendary picture so here's Tyson in the beautiful Colorado River and here are law enforcement with the K9 unit with rifles drawn waiting for him to get out of the river and how this ended up happening this is a legendary photograph look at that this was in the paper in Grand Junction and how this happened is I think he stole a truck or I don't know if it stolen or what but something happened he got into a high-speed chase rolled the truck and

crashed it and then jumped in the river there he is in order to evade capture and then here's this picture again I cannot get over this picture this looks like the cover of a movie or something and um then they finally got him where's that picture oh yeah here here he is I mean look at that guy you just by looking at Tyson you can see he would twist you up into a pretzel and throw you on your face face these cops are all bigger than him but I bet it took all four of them to arrest Tyson if you were to say who would be the hardest person to arrest out of anyone you went to high school with if they didn't want to be arrested I would have said Tyson look at this guy that's a big boy right there but look at that okay I'm going to flip you back around all right so that those pictures are from 2018 high-speed chase jumped in the river totally craziness and then couple weeks ago when I got the text that he got murdered I

reached out to a couple of my sources in Grand Junction I grew up there like what the hell happened and a couple days later this is the response I got ready this is word for word I just want you guys to experience it the way I did I guess Tyson beat up a tweaker and made a mockery of him like was rubbing his face in the dirt and moving his mouth and making him talk then the guy went and got his friend and murdered him brutal and when I heard the part about Tyson moving the guy's mouth and making him talk I thought that's so Tyson he always was a bit of a ham but I think what happened was I don't really know this is all just speculation I think he got really into the drug game after high school and just knowing Tyson's personality whatever game he played he was going to rise and be the top guy I can't I can't picture him being a customer year after year so I'm sure he either became a kingpen or muscle for

the king pan or whatever it was but it's pretty sad he was a good dude and I'm going to miss him and you know godp speed brother and I was thinking that'd be cool to show back up at Customs here in New York City wearing a sleazy Russian suit and giant sunglasses carrying a bag with one gold bar in it like hi I got an engine out over some mountains oh man oh jeez oh crap there's nothing I can do my only option is to bail out immediately and film a YouTube video I got a selfie stick I'm out of here it's my only choice see you later

the do you want to go to the bottom of the ocean it's real fun you get to sit on the cold floor for 10 hours and stare out of the small window into black nothingness it's $250,000 we take check we what do you mean you don't want to go what you talked to a friend and they said it was unsafe well no offense to this friend but they sound a little bit boring and uninspiring it is very safe really very safe and another hoax that failed horribly there used to be a lot more money in my bank account you stole it and then I'm going to go and I'm going to be all smiles and then once we're alone I'm going to let all of the expression run out of my face I'm going to look them in the eyes and I'm going to say are you a pedophile and of course they're going to say no and look a little bit surprised and I'm going to let them finish whatever they got to say and I'm going to say okay great because you see this

Hammer let's just say I'm not a carpenter it's like what the hell is he going to do it's totally blocked off and it's the last minute he swerves into the ivy embankment and he's at a 45° angle it's like Sid you're in the ivy classic Portland Highway Shanty one time I went over to their place for dinner and everybody was really nice and goodlooking and smiling and the house was beautiful and the mom came up and she said Scott can I take your coat and she was really nice and there was nothing but then I had this snap Vision that she grabbed a pair of scissors and stabbed me in the neck and then I po back to reality and she was still smiling going can I take your coat Scott I was laughing at the thought of Diddy pitching that idea to a friend like dude this is what we're going to do are you ready first we're going to get a bunch of hot girls I'll lie to them I'll tell them I'm going to give them a career it

doesn't even matter right we're going to get a bunch of hot girls the friend's like yeah yep and then get this we're going to get a bunch of other dudes to come in and have sex with the girls while ready you and me we're going to sit in the corner and jerk off sick and it sounds a little bit like an amateur actor faking an orgasm like if I was the director of that scene and it was actors and she did that the actor playing the detective told her the bad news and the actress playing Wendy went I would say all right cut listen not bad for the first one not bad at all but Wendy maybe Channel more your children just lost their father and all the Bleak realities that that entails try to channel that a little bit more and a little bit less you just came in your pants all right but not bad for the first one let's do it again take two this story takes place I'm going to CSU College in uh in Fort col Colorado and

my parents live they still live in Grand Junction Colorado to get from Grand Junction Colorado to Fort Collins Colorado you have to drive over the Rocky Mountains I70 over Veil pass the whole thing I looked it up yesterday it's technically considered the eighth most treacherous stretch of road in the whole country going off per deaths per 100 miles per year and since it's at the top of a mountain when you're going over those passes almost 11,000 ft of altitude when there's a blizzard I would say it's even higher on that list and so it the weather I'm at my parents house for a week for the holidays and the weather in the mountains had just been horrible dumping snow high winds just brutal and so I'm looking I got to get back to get to work I have a job I had lived in Fort Collins for a while so I have a life and my job and I had to get back and get back to my job and the whole thing and so we're looking what's

how do what's the best window to shoot through and get back and it had been like Terrible Weather for a week and it looked like there was going to be a 12-hour window and then really terrible weather for another four or five days so it's like okay I got to try to get back at in that little window my dad and I went and bought I was driving a 2005 Dodge Dakota four-wheel drive pickup truck but pickup trucks aren't all that great on the snow if there's nothing back in the bed of the truck because it's really light so we went and bought 500 lbs worth of sandbags to put in the back right over the rear axle and I got up early and headed out into the mountains it couldn't have gone worse immediately pretty much in Glennwood Canyon there was a terrible accident acent and I sat dead stopped on the highway for probably an hour and then was going maybe like 2 or 3 miles an hour for another hour so this window

that I had to beat the bad weather is ticking away and then it starts to snow then it starts to snow hard then it starts to snow really hard and the wind picks up and the visibility that day got down to 7 ft which is nothing when you're driving on the highway looking out my uh windshield or really any of the windows it just looked like a blank white screen so I'm on the highway I can't remember how exactly how fast I was going it seems like I was going 5 miles an hour but maybe it was a little bit more but going very slow it's just the white Abyss in front of me I can faintly see the headlights of the person in front of me who's also just kind of going slow and we're just White Knuckle stress driving through this blizzard and the reason it's so stressful is because you don't know if you're going to get hit from behind from someone driving crazy the road after just an hour or two was totally snow packed so you can't see

the lines I don't know if I'm in the lane I can't see any exits or anything to turn off I'm just slowly plugging along in the white Abyss following the headlights when I can faintly see them in front of me but if those headlights go off the road into the median into the into the ditch I'd be following them right behind them and then I'm getting to a point it's getting I'm getting so tired and so stressed out with the whole thing I almost want that to happen just to get this over with just how long can I sit here and go 5 miles an hour in the blizzard and then it starts to get dark and it goes from the windshield looking like a blank white screen to looking like that submarine that imploded going down to the Titanic it looked like looking out the window of that just totally black with like the snow particles falling down it's snowing as about as hard as it can snow I'm on the highway at 11,000 ft of altitude there

hours and hours before I get to where I'm going it's snowing so hard I don't even know where exits are if I did want to try to take an an exit and it slowly as it got dark went from this sucks God this sucks I hate that I had to put myself in this situation it went from that to I really don't know what to do right now I don't know what to do right now am I just going to plug along at 5 miles an hour all night long is the is the stor going to get better I kept thinking to myself just stay calm keep going keep getting through and hopefully you get on the other side of the storm and it starts to get better just keep going but it just kept getting worse I think the winds were up to 60 M an hour and it's just this little group of cars I think the person in front of me was the first one and then me and then there was a few behind us and it was just us slow slowly moving through the top of the mountain in a blizzard and

it's one of three times where I was driving where I was legitimately scared and just going I I don't know what to do right now I really don't and morale couldn't be lower it's pitch black I'm almost rooting to just end up in the ditch and just start figuring out that situation because I've just been going so long driving I've always had cat a wool blanket and like some warm socks and long underwear and some extra warm clothes in the back of my vehicle and it had been back there for years i' had seen that wool blanket with everything wrapped up in it for years all the time moving it out of the way and all of a sudden in the pitch black Blizzard at the top of the Rocky Mountains all of a sudden I go I can't believe I'm I'm probably going to have to get that wool blanket out how crazy is that that you know and I'm thinking back at Cub Scouts when I was a kid like building snow caves like all right if I end up on the

side of the road I can dig a snow cave outdoor boy style and probably not freeze to death I got my wool blanket couldn't believe it was all of a sudden at that point and I'm sitting there going this is just this is really bad and then all of a sudden on my on my left this massive truck with all all of these lights honking its horn and it popped out of the Abyss so just surprisingly I screamed ah I thought I was getting hit and killed by a semi truck and this truck goes over and it's honking its horn and and then it disappears and then all of a sudden I see the brake lights of the car in front of me and I slam on my brakes and come to a skidding stop then I'm looking in the review mirror please don't get rended from behind from the person trying to stop they're able to stop and so now now we're dead stopped on the highway at the top of the Rocky Mountains in a blizzard it's not a good idea to stop in the middle of the

highway especially when the roads are thi are are as icy and slick as they were it's only a matter of time before someone coming up way too fast is going to kill you and so now I'm sitting there dead stopped I can't see the massive truck anymore all I can see is the faint brake lights in front of me and I'm just in there and then all of a sudden this guy comes emerges out of the Abyss he's got this big coat on and a flashlight and I roll down my window and he's all business he goes he's from the sheriff and he goes you're going to follow this car in front of me they're going to follow me we're going to take an exit in less than a minute or two to the right and we're going to put you guys into a hotel and I go yeah yeah yeah oh great he goes I'm going to tell the few cars that are behind you and then we got to go and he's all business because think about this guy is out standing on the highway in a

blizzard no visibility totally slick roads definitely putting his life on the line for us and it was the big truck was the blizzard rescue vehicle in the High Country the sheriff's department they have these blizzard rescue vehicles six-wheel Drive huge capable of handling anything and so he gets in front he tells everybody real quick risking his life gets back in cuz most of the time those blizzard rescue vehicles are they have spaces to carry people in there that have driven off the road you're stuck in a snowbank and then you can get in that truck and they'll drive you to safety but with this situation there was like 12 or 15 cars still on the road we hadn't gone off into the ditch yet and so I think they were in kind of a a hard situation of like well this is not ideal to try like have all these cars follow each other it'd be easier just to say get in the big truck let's go but they made it

happen and we slowly followed him and he knew where the exit was it was just looking at black nothingness as we drove I could just faintly see the lights we take the exit they put us up in a hotel I was just so glad not to be stressed out I was so glad to be safe and I got like settled in the in the the motel then bundled up and went out and just sat on the tailgate of my truck just at the you know up way up in the mountains with it snowing like crazy and I get the feeling the same feeling when I'm up in the mountains or when I'm in the ocean that or even just in the woods deep deep in the woods I get this feeling that my death the mountains and the ocean does not consider my death to be a negative it barely is even neutral it's almost a positive because you got to have something to di so de you know to start the decomposition and that's food for other things and and it's almost a positive but it really hits me

when I'm out deep in the mountains like that or Out on the Ocean that you know it's storm can come and and you can be begging you know please let me live please please St stop snowing so hard please let the waves die down come on please I want to live I got so much to live for and the ocean and the mountains you know if they had a face and you were asking them please let me live it would your please would be met with the cold black eyes of a lizard and one comedian I'm friends with he had come on to my YouTube channel and checked out the show or something and so he goes oh yeah I checked out the show and he was like it's great great man good for you and I go yeah thank you it's it's going good and he goes what the hell is schmeida and we were outside on the sidewalk getting some air and I looked off in the distance and I took a deep breath and I said shme is a lot of things but more than anything else she's a friend

what

Questions about this episode

Who speaks in "TCL GREATEST HITS PART 2"?

Undetermined (Host).

What is "TCL GREATEST HITS PART 2" about?

Synopsis: The piece humorously critiques legal culture and personal downfall, contrasting a discouraged group therapy scene for failed lawyers connected to Sarah Boon with chaotic, over-the-top courtroom anecdotes and a self-promotional pitch. It satirizes burnout, public scrutiny, and failed ambition through sharp, rapid-fire vignettes.

What is mentioned in this TRUE CRIME Loser episode?

33 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Tyson Bradshire, Grand Junction, Rocky Mountains, True Crime, pills, Fort Collins. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "TCL GREATEST HITS PART 2"?

The episode runs 35 min; the transcript is about 5,613 words in 32 timestamped sections.

More from TRUE CRIME Loser

About this transcript: the episode's spoken words as captioned on YouTube, split into timestamped sections. Reclip.Me locates every person, work and idea in the text, keeps the time it is first named, and quotes the words around it verbatim. Last updated October 29, 2026.