Transcript

That's a Wrap! Ft. Scott Evans || Reddit Stories || Two Hot Takes

From Two Hot Takes · Episode page · Watch on YouTube

· 1 h 53 min · 22,987 words · 596 timestamped sections

This is the full, timestamped transcript of "That's a Wrap! Ft. Scott Evans || Reddit Stories || Two Hot Takes", an episode of Two Hot Takes published December 18, 2025 (1 h 53 min, about 22,987 words). It mentions 37 people, works and ideas, including House Guest, House Guest, Access Hollywood, r/relationship_advice, Bioshock.

What this episode is about

The discussion explores the reactions and thoughts related to a Reddit story about a woman contemplating divorce due to familial disdain. Hosts reflect on the emotional impact of the situation and speculate on the family's background and dynamics, emphasizing the importance of surrounding oneself with supportive relationships.

Key takeaways

  • Memorable journeys: Audience imaginations create richer narratives than any scripted dialogue.
  • Wit and charisma: Key ingredients in turning casual chats into viral internet hits.
  • Demographic curiosity: Reader biases shape narratives as much as the storyteller.
  • Chasing dreams: From hard news to late-night goals, adaptability conquers career ceilings.
  • Podcast reach: Intimate conversations transcend traditional media, rivaling late-night appeal.

Who speaks in this episode?

What is discussed, and when

  1. – 10:00: House Guest, House Guest, Access Hollywood, Channel One News
  2. – 20:00: Chick-fil-A, r/relationship_advice, Two Hot Takes
  3. – 40:00: Talkspace
  4. – 50:00: Talkspace, Avoidant attachment, Conflict resolution styles, Hamburger Helper
  5. – 1:00:00: Stonewalling
  6. – 1:20:00: Bioshock
  7. – 1:30:00: Best of Redditor Updates, Direct Caterpillar 77, economic status, Scott Evans
  8. – 1:40:00: Instagram, no contact, r/relationship_advice
  9. – 1:50:00: anxiety attack, Callum Turner
  10. – 1:53:28: Damson Idris, House Guest, House Guest, Jessica Betts

Notable quotes from "That's a Wrap! Ft. Scott Evans || Reddit Stories || Two Hot Takes"

  • I've recently discovered. Oh my gosh, you're just on it. But like you've done Access Hollywood. I also just found out you host like a dancing show.
    about Access Hollywood · at
  • I wanted a little more. So we started house guest as a way to also so I could just practice late night. I want Jimmy Fallon's job. I want to be clear.
    about House Guest · at
  • With it. And so now it's kind of like if the Jimmy Fallon job never if the Tonight Show never happens, I'm good with it because House guest is so fulfilling.
    about Tonight Show · at
  • Yeah. What you would what you want? Chick-fil-A. I got Chick-fil-A at home.
    about Chick-fil-A · at
  • This first one coming from r/ relationship advice 13 days old titled I think I 32 female nuked my relationship with my boyfriend 32 male by drawing a hard line. My boyfriend and I have been.
    about r/relationship_advice · at
  • This episode is brought to you by Talkspace. Talkspace is the number one rated online therapy, bringing you professional support from licensed therapists and psychiatrists that you can access anywhere, anytime. I've loved.
    about Talkspace · at
  • Researched this for months beforehand. I decided to paint a scene from his favorite game, Bioshock, with him as a big daddy character. I know it sounds cheesy, but I honestly…
    about Bioshock · at
  • Listening, if you painted this painting and you are listening to this, I am Scott Evans on social media, please DM me a photo of this painting and I will take it back, but it sounds like You think it's ugly?
    about Scott Evans · at

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

  • Scott Evans — Person · 2 mentions · first at
  • Regé-Jean Page — Person · 2 mentions
  • Lisa Ling — Person · 1 mention · first at
    But it was like a national broadcast with Anderson Cooper, Lisa Ling, Maria Manuno. So, we're all famous or famously anchored the show. And so, I got the opportunity to anchor the show as well. And it was a dream of.
  • Direct Caterpillar 77 — Person · 1 mention · first at
    To get that. So, the reason it's reciring is because one of our friends, Direct Caterpillar 77, just posted this on the best of Redditor updates 18 days ago. Okay, here's what I'll say.
  • Callum Turner — Person · 1 mention · first at
    You know who's really doing it? And I just heard a rumor maybe future Bond Callum Turner.
  • Damson Idris — Person · 1 mention · first at
    So I wait you heard I also heard that maybe Damson Idris new bond.
  • Ni Nash — Person · 1 mention · first at
    Ni Nash and surprise guests. We had a pretty big surprise for her and apparently became a very big surprise for her husband Jessica Betts as well. Didn't see that one.
  • Jessica Betts — Person · 1 mention · first at
    Pretty big surprise for her and apparently became a very big surprise for her husband Jessica Betts as well. Didn't see that one coming.
  • Derek Hough — Person · 1 mention
  • Kevin Fredericks — Person · 1 mention
  • KevOnStage — Person · 1 mention
  • Ne-Yo — Person · 1 mention

Books & papers

Companies & orgs

  • House Guest — Company · 4 mentions · first at
  • Access Hollywood — Company · 2 mentions · first at
  • r/relationship_advice — Company · 2 mentions · first at
  • World of Dance — Company · 1 mention · first at
    Yeah, I hosted World of Dance on NBC.
  • Channel One News — Company · 1 mention · first at
    That's amazing. With a show called Channel One News. I don't know if you ever had that in your school.
  • Tonight Show — Company · 1 mention · first at
  • Chick-fil-A — Company · 1 mention · first at
  • Two Hot Takes — Company · 1 mention · first at
    This episode of Two Hot Takes is presented by Dererono. This holiday season, I'll be raising a glass with Derono, the world's favorite Italian lour and mine. One of my go-to holiday.
  • Best of Redditor Updates — Company · 1 mention · first at
    Reciring is because one of our friends, Direct Caterpillar 77, just posted this on the best of Redditor updates 18 days ago. Okay, here's what I'll say.
  • Instagram — Company · 1 mention · first at
    But last night, something happened that I can't let go of. My phone was charging, so I was scrolling Instagram reels on hers like I usually do. One of her friends DM'd her.…
  • Hulu — Company · 1 mention

Products & tech

  • Hamburger Helper — Product · 1 mention · first at
    I'm so Hamburger Helper got the directions on the box. Get in that kitchen and get something made.

Concepts & topics

  • House Guest — Concept · 4 mentions · first at
    I wanted a little more. So we started house guest as a way to also so I could just practice late night. I want Jimmy Fallon's job. I want to be clear.
  • Bioshock — Concept · 2 mentions · first at
  • Avoidant attachment — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    Oh, like avoidant attachment. Yeah.
  • Conflict resolution styles — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    Yeah. And then there's like conflict resolution styles.
  • Stonewalling — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    Be That's so toxic. But no, what he's doing is toxic. You're stonewalling.
  • economic status — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    Left to find work for myself. I don't resent him for this, but I wasn't even aware of this economic status while we were initially dating. And by the time I learned, I was…
  • no contact — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    Apologize to her point forward, we're going low contact if not no contact. Like I just don't know how you like could trust her going forward. And like I think opening the door…
  • anxiety attack — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    My girlfriend exactly what happened, that I panicked, had what I'm pretty sure was some kind of anxiety attack, and ended up here on big beautiful Reddit asking a question that in hindsight had a pretty obvious answer.

Places & events

Sponsors

Full transcript with timestamps

Do you know what you're getting into? No idea. I mean, yes, a little. Okay. I've watched episodes. I've seen you I've seen you work. I've seen you and I I've always wondered if you had like do you write to your um

to myself to your posts? Like, do you like are you like, I'm going to say this on this one or I'm going to say this on this one?

Um, no. Honestly, like I'll read them, make sure they're good enough for the show, and then I feel like I totally

blank out on what my thought was. So then when I have them come back up, it's fresh. It feels like I have amnesia.

Yeah. It's kind of weird. There's one There was one in particular, the episode with Hannah, and she was that was the the wife who was considering divorce because the family didn't like her.

Oh my god. Yeah. I was like I was like, "Bye, girl. Bye. Bye. Bye." Yeah. Nobody likes you. And your husband is cool with that.

Does your husband even like you? He don't like you, girl. He doesn't like you either. He don't like he don't love you, girl.

No. I was like I couldn't believe it. You might have some of those today. It hurt me. It hurt me deep. I was like, girl, go live your life. Be happy.

I know. And she was like 27. Girl, be in a life that you love with people who love you.

Time of her life, who are excited when you walk in the room. Mhm. I also needed to know some more information about that family.

I I want to know everything. I want to be a fly on the wall. I needed some demographic breakdown, if you know what I'm saying.

Like, are we Where are we? Are we in Texas? Are we I know. Yeah. Are we in Minneapolis? Are we in

It felt European to me. I don't know why it did. It felt European. Like white. Is that what you mean?

Honestly. Or you mean like Europe? I for some reason I don't know why in my head I was envisioning like an Indian family given like the hierarchy.

Okay. I don't know. It's so interesting because you ask people what they envision in their heads during the readings and everyone's going to have such a different like mental image. Like sometimes I won't say genders and like my friend Lauren will like assume genders and like they're always like when we find out more the opposite.

So interesting. I know sometimes I do themes where I haven't done it in like probably a year or two where I'll take out all the genders and just like you don't

here's the information. Here's the info now. Right. Cuz it's like if if there was no gender, would your do your your opinion change?

Sometimes it does. Yeah, of course. We're all a little biased, baby. We're all a little biased.

We out here just trying to do our most of us are out here trying to do our best.

That's literally all I'm trying to do. Just my best, baby. Just wake up every day and be nice.

Try my best. Try my best. But y'all try me. Scott said spicy today. I'm feeling too [ __ ] [ __ ]

I'm so excited to have you. We met doing Spotify wrapped content and from that I was just like, "Okay, he can gap. He's funny. Charismatic.

We had a good time. You have your wits about you. Yeah, you're just you're on it." So, for those that don't know the Scott Lore uh

oh, who are you? Let's talk about your podcast, which is like having the best first year I think out of any podcast I've recently discovered. Oh my gosh,

you're just on it. But like you've done Access Hollywood. I also just found out you host like a dancing show.

Yeah, I hosted World of Dance on NBC. Insane. Jennifer Lopez, Derek Huff, and Neo.

Insane. Okay, so yeah, give everyone the lore if they're not familiar. Yes. So, I mean, I've been working in this business for a very, very, very long time. And entertainment. I've worked in hard news first. Was a reporter for uh at CBS News in New York. Uh that's amazing. With a show called Channel One News. I don't know if you ever had that in your school.

Um, but it was like a national um broadcast with Anderson Cooper, Lisa Ling, Maria Manuno. So, we're all famous um or famously anchored the show. And so, I got the opportunity to anchor the show as well. And it was a dream of mine.

That's amazing. And then was like, okay, I'm tired of covering the the worst of the world. It's time to get into entertainment. And then did that with Access Hollywood. Been there for over 10 years now. This last year I was like there's got to be more convers six minute conversations can only feed you for so long.

Yeah, you need a little more. I wanted a little more. So we started house guest as a way to also so I could just practice late night. I want Jimmy Fallon's job. I want to be clear.

Oo Jimmy, I love you but and I told him this. I was like I'm said, bro, I'm coming for you.

I'm I'm just I want you to know the moment you're ready, holl at me. I love that. And so I wanted to get my hours up and so we we started the show and I thought it was going to be a place for me to like practice and kind of private.

Yeah. The first episode went viral and I was like ah who was your very first guest?

Kev on stage. Kevin Frederick's comedian here um in Los Angeles who has become like a very very good friend and yeah then it was like it was on after that like every single episode. And so I didn't get the opportunity to really practice in private. And so now it's like all out there and you just roll with it. And so now it's kind of like if the Jimmy Fallon job never if the Tonight Show never happens, I'm good with it because House guest is so fulfilling.

It is crazy. I think that's something that in terms of like content, how everything's changing in recent years. Like there's certain podcasts that reach more people every week than the late night shows. There's there's more podcasts. It's like you think about all these big publications too. Like

I had uh someone in a call. They're like your show is bigger than Vogue's subscription. Like you're getting more eyes on you than that. It's just like that concept that was like a part of the reason why I was okay leaving OT. And I think like kind of coming to terms with like no no this is like this is actually what I want.

Yeah. Be good over here. And it was like the concept where I'm reaching more people every week than I would in an entire career of working in a hospital doing OT. And that in my head I was like, "Whoa, okay, that's crazy."

Yeah. And and also like to understand the the the goal that you have, the drive that you have, the passion that you've developed in this

to separate yourself from it and what feels like helps you get out of the bed some days.

Yeah. Because also those the the paths that many of us took before this was an opportunity for us. you. It beats you down, man. And not to say that this is not hard. It doesn't have its challenges and obstacles to overcome as well. But you are in charge of it.

Yeah. You realize just what a privileged position you're in. It's just I wake up every day and I'm like, do I want to like

feeling a little burnout or I'm I'm in my blue era, whatever I'm dealing with, and I'm like, yeah, I don't really want to, but like it is truly it is a gift. I get to do this. So, it's really it's really cool. And your show is amazing. I just saw clips from you when you had Kiki Palmer on. I mean, your guests are just amazing and you do such a good job

having those intimate combos and keeping it light and fun. Well, yeah. When you bring people to your house, so House guest is literally shot at my house.

Like literally at my house and it's a very small crew. We keep our footprint very, very small. And so I was talking to to actually Ti Nash. Um, are you watching All's Fair on Hulu by the way yet? Cuz if you're not with Kim Kardashian,

I haven't started. No, girl. You got homework today. Okay, because I keep getting mixed reviews on my Tik Tok feed.

Yeah, go ahead. Let the Let the It's got a season two. Oh, let the Let the reviews be Let the reviews be mixed, but get your butt in front of that screen. It is so It's It's like you can't stop watching the show. But I had Ni Ash on and you know she she talks about the idea of being in a position where you have the kind of problems you prayed for having the kind of issues in your life or or worries in your life that you dreamed of one day being able to

to be you know what I mean concerned with. And so yeah you just you keep going and I I don't I ain't trying to tell you what but if you get to those points and you're like okay I'm feeling a little you can control that. Shift it.

Shift it. I don't think we take enough license sometimes in our own lives. We just feed it whatever the it is.

I know. And I I mean the more you like solidify an idea in your head, the stronger it gets. So it's like you just I like try to like totally just get out of my funk. I have found a $35 massage place and so when I'm feeling sad, I just go there.

I'm sorry. Yeah. But then I I leave like a $15 tip. Do you have to leave? You have to leave California.

No, it's right down the street. You do leave your clothes on. is I'm sorry. There's different levels to the massage they offer.

Are you serious? Yeah. So, this one they call it a foot massage, but it's not. They do your whole body still, but your clothes are on.

Is the massage clo the massus clothes are on also for $35? I just want to know what I'm getting into. I just want to know how long is the massage.

It's the best place ever. It's in Burbank. It's next to the Canes. If anyone wants to try it, I already crying. You're crying. blow up my spot, please.

I'm really I just like I call and like I can get in within 5 minutes. Like they're so great.

So you walk in the door, you go in this like big open room with like 10 chairs and you sit in the chair and they bring

Is it a communal? Yeah, it's communal. That's why it's $35. Okay. Beggars can't be choosers.

No, you're not you're not wrong. I just I'm just trying to Okay. And then you sit in sit in a circle.

It's like deeply reclined. Wait, is it is there is it just a normal a regular person massaging you? Is like someone else who's sitting in a chair? Do you massage the person that's sitting in front of you

and then the person behind you massages you? People work there massage you. It's not like the monkey picking bugs out of each other's hair.

I was like, "No, it's it's it's legit." Okay. It's legit. And they do offer real massages too.

I just have I think in my mind it's like in a school gymnasium and like maybe it's a AA meeting.

It's like a little room this size, I'd say. And then like just chairs all about. But you get in and then you put your feet in a warm bucket of water and while they're working on your the feet are soaking and getting warm, they massage your head, your shoulders. They do like some lymphatic drainage type stuff.

Okay. Like arms and then they move to your feet and your feet come out of the bucket and they go up and then they're really doing a foot massage and leg massage and then they like they like step on your thighs kind of

and then they roll you over and then they do your back and your neck and your head and just everything.

How long? an hour for $35. Yeah. And then I do $15 tip because it it feels for $35.

Yeah. $35. Isn't it a deal? It's only 55 if you want to take your clothes off. [snorts]

Okay. It's But like, you know what I mean? If you want the traditional one, I don't know.

Take your clothes off. If you want to take your clothes off, it costs $55. You don't Yeah.

For an hour. H for have you ever seen other people in there with you? Yeah. Okay.

It's usually booked up. Wow. I know. This is why I like cannot travel. Like if I go like France, I went and there was a spa or Iceland. Um there's a spa there. I can't get massages anywhere else cuz it's like 200 bucks and I'm like I got that at home. I'm just

We got massages at home. We got massages at home. It's $55 at home. We got massages at home.

Yeah. So I Baby, I'm not doing none of that. Yeah. What you would what you want? Uh uh Chick-fil-A. I got Chick-fil-A at home.

Exactly. That's funny. Yeah. So, it's a good time. Yeah. I'm going have to run up on that.

It's right down the street. It's down the street. Hell yeah. Come on. You can't beat that with a with a big stick.

Okay. But on a not so happy note, let's get into dip it up. Let's get into today's stories.

Are you going to hit me hard the first time or are you are we going to I think so. Yeah. I know you. You can handle it. Yeah, I think so.

Am I going I'm going to a massage after this? Yeah, you're going to need to release some tension and some like

lay it on me. Pent up energy. Let's do it. Since we met Since we met at the wrapped. That's a wrap. That's the theme today. That's a wrap.

That's a wrap. That's a wrap. Oh [ __ ] Let's dive in. Let's do it. This episode of Two Hot Takes is presented by Dererono. This holiday season, I'll be raising a glass with Derono, the world's favorite Italian lour and mine. One of my go-to holiday drinks has Derono in it. Derono 7 splash a crayon. And it's so so good. Everyone loves it. It's light. It's refreshing. And it just has this smooth almond with a hint of vanilla flavor. It tastes so good. You could just drink it on the rocks if you want. It's sweet but not overly sweet. Just super sophisticated and good. And to mark 500 years as an icon of the Italian Dolce Vita, Derono has released five limited edition bottles. Visit derono.com to learn more.

1525. The legend of Derono begins. This first one coming from r/ relationship advice 13 days old titled I think I 32 female nuked my relationship with my boyfriend 32 male by drawing a hard line. My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly 2 years living together for one. He had purchased his house prior to us dating and I was renting an apartment so it made sense for me to move into his house. He continued to pay the mortgage and I took on all of the usage bills, all of the utilities and annual maintenance as well as the grocery shopping and we felt that was a fair split. As our anniversary is coming up, we've been talking about our future timelines and where we see our relationship progressing.

We're on the same page with all of the big issues. We know we want to marry each other and start a family following that, but to be in a position to start a family, the house is going to need a lot of renovations. And we've always thrown around the idea that the cost of rena would be my buyin so to stay on the house. From our estimates, everything we want to do would be around 100k on the low end. We even agreed that we could draw up some kind of agreement to protect both of our interests financially. As it's gotten closer to the reality of reaching out to contractors and banks, I've felt more and more unsettled about the situation.

I bet you did. I feel confident in our relationship, but foolish to be making an investment in a boyfriend's asset.

I told him that I would like to be engaged before starting this process. So, I feel like he's making a commitment to me as much as I am to him. We've talked about being engaged prior to this, but he said adding this element makes it feel very transactional and takes away from the romance and sparkle of it all. Thus, okay,

I didn't tell him I wanted to be engaged by a specific date or anything like that, just that if this renovation is what we wanted to pursue, this is the action I'd like to take beforehand. He seemed upset by my statement, and I feel like I've really taken some of the romance and surprise out of the idea of a proposal or being engaged. The morning after this conversation, he was cold and tense, and I can't help but feel I've done irreparable damage. But I don't feel wrong in making the request. Am I being reasonable? Is this recoverable?

Honest answer. Yeah, we want nothing but honesty here. There is no irreparable damage here. Honestly, this is common sense. And if homeboy wants to throw a tantrum because he can't get his renovations done

on the timeline he thought he'd be able to get them done without the consideration of her beyond her wallet.

Then brother bye keep it moving. And I also think it's interesting that you start the the post with we want renovations done for a potential baby.

Yeah. And now having a the promise of marriage before that is like a whoa you've ruined. So like there's already kind of like a situation there.

But I'm going to just say this for me in in in my life. I'm not making f large financial decisions with people that doesn't reflect the same intensity.

Yeah. as that as that financial definitely investment. And so like I'm not going to be paying for the renovations of the home we both live in and I'm not on a mortgage

and we not married. I mean really it's just there's no strings. Like there's literally all he can do is like he can take that 100k and then say bye and she's left with nothing at the end of the day.

Yeah. And I don't know like contract he's like oh we can draw up a contract to protect ourselves financially. Like

you can you can you can you can d I mean you can draft up a contractor that can say anything for anything at any point as long as people agree to it then like that's what the agreement is usually.

Yeah. But like how is it going to be enforceable? Like for if he can't afford 100k renovation to get the house where it needs to be because then he could put it in his prenup. This my house. I this is everything before marriage. I'm keeping the house at the end of the day. That's his. But if he doesn't have the 100k for the Rena,

baby, then we don't have a Renault. And like then we don't have a Rena. What are you going to have to do to pay me back? Sell your house so you can pay me back the 100K I invested?

Well, I think that's the idea, the the buy into the house is that she's she would with the with the 100k investment of the the the renovation, she would then be entitled to the value of the house in reflection of that 100k.

Yeah. Cuz you're going to have a lot of equity right there. Hello. Hopefully. Yeah. But also like but also if it's a good area, you know.

I know. Cuz like we could be renovating a house. We shouldn't be renovating. We should maybe be buying a new house.

Well, that's the thing. I'm like, how much was this house? Like what was his buy in? Was his buy in? You know, this is a 200k house and he put 20k down. Like what's his buy in?

Also, it's like the idea is that if you are concerned about, well, this don't seem like the sparkle is gone. Well, then get the sparkle back. Yeah.

Like we got to have real ass conversations about life and we can't be always chasing the sparkle.

You know what I'm saying? Because the 100k don't have no sparkle to it. No. Also, if you can't have that conversation of like, I'd like more of a commitment before I give you 100k.

Whoa. If you're really ruining the whole like, well, now I'm on a timeline. We're already on a timeline, [ __ ]

Bro, we're giving me a Renault because we want to get married and have a baby and we can't do that until we renovate. [ __ ]

[ __ ] Get engaged. Have your wedding. Takes nine months for a baby to cook. You can do a rena in that amount of time.

Hey, bro. Come on. Hey, bro. We're on to you. Shit's expensive. I know weddings are expensive, but like you're saying this is for us.

Like, if we're doing the renovation, it's cuz you're like, I want to have I want to be with you and I want to have a baby with you, and I want our home to be ready to receive and help grow our family.

Yeah. Show me that. Cuz I'm going to start writing these checks to these contractors.

Yeah. Show me. Show me that. Yeah. And they don't have return policies. No, they do. I can tell you. They don't. And And when you start playing with contractors money, they crazy.

They'll come after you. They will come after you. And they got tools. Okay. They got and and deep ditches is all I'm saying. I've seen the movies. I've seen them.

Oh my god. It's also It's also, don't you think it's a little strange that the take is I've nuked my relationship

because we're having a hard conversation. I think there's bigger issues here. There's clearly some bigger issues here. And it seems like maybe she's tuned into a frequency that's like we're not doing the best.

Well, it's not like she's walking on eggshells. She's anticipating a really bad reaction. And it's like, but why? This is

cuz he throws tantrums. This is a fine conversation. Oh, yeah. Cuz he throws tantrums and now he's cold.

And so now you going to raise two kids. Mhm. You got two babies. Oh, I've had so many of those lately. Why? Why?

That's what you're going to do. You sound like you already got a baby. I know. So, my dad has a podcast. He gives dad advice. We just had a listener write in on his show. She's got two kids, six and four, and her kids are not even comfortable enough with her husband, their dad, to ask him for a snack. because he's such

like No, they can't even go to their dad and be like, "Dad, can I have a snack?" They don't have a relationship with him. No, he's so checked out. He comes home early from work and plays his video games. And it's like, you ma'am, you don't have two kids. You have You have three. She does everything in their house.

It's hard being a single mom. Clean. It's hard being a single mom. And you are at that point. You are

girl. So, what did he say? What did your father say? I'm curious. My dad, what was the advice? Cuz I would feel like I would be What's the address?

He kind Yeah. No, he tore him a new one and my dad's like, he needs to just get off the [ __ ] video games,

but we we definitely we went we went in on him a little bit. I mean, you got That's crazy.

I know. Two and four. You said four and six, I believe. Look, I I He's now a 2-year-old. Damn, that's crazy.

I know. Couldn't be me. But these two, they've only been together two years. I mean, I think that's much too quick to give someone a 100k of your money.

Here's what I'm going to say. Also, it's it might be in my opinion also much too quick to get engaged.

What's your What's your two years you moved in directly with each other because, right, it would be more cost effective. I

moved in about a year ago. Yeah. So, like you're getting a a better clue into who this man is going to be as a life partner. And what's really happening is not that you've neutral relationship, but that you're you're seeing some red flags. Pay attention.

Yeah. Because they're only gonna the red flags are either only going to grow into bigger flags,

parachutes, wind sails, you know what I'm saying? Oh my god. Yes. You know, and so like when the watch when they're small, listen to that [ __ ] when it's a little when it's a whisper.

Yeah. as opposed to when it's shouting at you in the the middle of the hallway.

Absolutely. And Top Comment kind of says something similar. They go, "Forget engaged. Don't do this unless you're married and on the deed." 19K up votes on that.

I mean, yeah, I'd upvote that. Yep. I'll here I'll give him one for you. Tap that.

Um, next comment down this OP. People can always break engagements, but it's harder to break a deed. Do not put a penny of your money if you're not on that deed. You'll be screwing yourself.

And not in a good way. No, not a fun way. And that's the thing, like, who knows what he's going to say in terms of a prenup, too. Like, there's no safety like here. Like, it's literally just like

you're just handing it over. There is no safety if you hand it over. I know. And it does sound it does sound like there's a fair amount of maybe manipulation that's at play in their relationship. If this feels like I've nuked it because I've I'm not in agreement with you because we're not in agreement right now. It feels like

well if I don't automatically just agree with you then we're he's so angry with me and so cold with me that I I just want to do anything I can to avoid that.

And that is so toxic. Yeah. That's manipulation girl. Yeah. Here is a story that someone

red flag. You know, there's one next to you if you want to use it. There's a flag on the play.

Hey, someone shares this. I know a single mom who is dating a guy that convinced her to sell her house, then invest the money she made from the sale into renovating his house. Her name was not on the deed. Less than a year later, they got into a fight. She came home from work with her daughter the next day. The locks had been changed and her and her daughter were stuck living in hotels for a few months while she saved enough money for a deposit on an apartment. The about 120k she invested in his house was considered a gift and there is no legal recourse for her to get this money back.

That's insane. You want that to be you, girl? You want that to be you? I mean that's that's true. And like that's and it really is that simple.

Like it's not even like that's not even an emotional thing. That's not like a Oh, I That's just not smart.

No, that's just not smart. I know we have like some lawyers listening or like parillegals or whoever out there and you're just like screaming. You're like, "Don't do it,

baby. You could be a 14-year-old uh uh what's the fortnighter?" And you know that don't make no sense. And and clearly she does too. That's why she wrote it on on on Reddit. That's why she was like, "I gotta make sure I'm not crazy."

Yeah. And that's kind of what she said. There's like a comment um here and she's just like, "Thanks for all your responses." And she says, "Seeing a neutral third party like a relationship counselor seems like a really good move before taking any other action." So, no breakup. They're still together.

A relationship counselor sounds like an automatic, but also this is if you mean you got to mean what you say. And this is a very basic thing.

Super basic, but also a a major red flag. If if this if this is all playing out the way that that she's describing it,

I don't like it. I don't like it one bit. No. Uh-uh. Okay, moving on to this next one.

Okay. Coming from r/offmy chest. Okay. 28 days old. titled, "My mother-in-law planned 75th birthday extravaganza for herself on my birthday at my house. My husband and I live in a castle in Italy where we host weddings and events. It's a lot of work."

Stop. Stop. We live in a castle in Italy. Castle, man. If you don't leave me alone about throwing this 75th birthday party, you have a castle. Okay, you got more castle to go throw your birthday party into. I'm sorry. Go ahead. I I skipped ahead. I just heard castle in Italy, and it's like, "Yeah, of course we're throwing it at your house."

It's a lot of work, but we now have staff, so we're not doing everything ourselves. My mother-in-law decided she wanted to throw her 75th birthday party here. She had a massive party here 4 years ago with 60 guests that I helped her plan every detail of. This time, I said, "Fine, as long as I don't have to plan it." I passed her off to our event manager to handle all the logistics

as you do when you live in a castle. Fast forward to me seeing our booking calendar and she booked the entire thing on my actual birthday.

Not the weekend before, not her own birthday, which is 5 days later. Nope. She chose my birthday, which this year falls on a Tuesday.

I knew you were going to say Tuesday. I knew you this had Tuesday energy. This is a She's doing it. This is a specific thing.

A random weekday. Her birthday is on a Sunday. Why wouldn't she do it over the weekend on her own birthday?

Girl, you know why she didn't? She invited 30 plus guests, all flying in from another country who will be staying at my house for three nights. The big celebration, which will be a multi-course dinner, cake, and dance party, all scheduled on my actual birthday. She asked if I wanted to choose the cake flavor since it's technically your birthday. I told her, "No, it's your birthday now because I can't imagine going up with her to have her friends sing us happy birthday together." For months, I was delusional enough to think that this was some kind of elaborate surprise party for me.

That's what I was thinking because who would do this otherwise? This is great. And I told her I was going to be out of town and she said she would cry every day if I'm not there.

This is a surprise. Then my husband said he hoped I would be there so the whole family could be together. But today my husband picked up a literal busload of her friends and the reality hit. Nope. This week is all about her.

Oh wait. So I'm stuck hosting a birthday bash for my mother-in-law on my own birthday. surrounded by her friends speaking a language I struggle with. I've never been a birthday Zilla person, but a cozy morning with my family in a walk in the forest, then out to dinner in the city has been the norm. However, that's no longer possible. Yesterday, I felt fine about it all and helped her make the gift bags for all of her guests, and I decorated inside the castle with a bunch of birthday things. But today, I feel awful and anxious. I'm probably thinking it will be worse than it actually will be. If it were a random client's event, I could just hide away and celebrate with my husband and kids, but now everyone will be focused on her.

Is this as outrageous as it feels? Yes. Really? It is as outrageous as it feels because you live in a castle

in Italy. I don't And I just feel like you if Also, here's what here's what I'll say.

Okay. It feels a little outrageous to me because if all you want to do is take a walk in the morning with the family and go to dinner,

you can still do that. You can still absolutely do that. And if you have a staff castle event planner, they can manage the party while you go have dinner with your husband. And then you arrive to the party a little tardy.

Fashionably late. It's your birthday. It's your birthday and y'all's castle. The castle part is so insane.

It's sending me every time all I see is her like up in the what is it? The the tall the tall Yeah, the tallest tower. The tallest tower. And she's like, "But it's my birthday."

Oh, she's too nice. Too nice. She decorated the castle for her. She didn't decorate no damn castle.

She said, "I decorated the castle with Mariah Carey says she decorates the house, too. She don't actually decorate the house.

I don't know. These people seem like they bought like an old rundown Italian castle for a dollar and then redid it themselves and they just fell deeper in love during the process.

It's giving inheritance to me. It's giving, you know, maybe what is it? What is it? Uh uh count like it's giving uh what is it? My lord.

My lord. Oh my gosh. I don't know. And I I also feel like my son my when I went to go pick up the friends, there's got to be a certain level of devastation when you think, "Oh, wait. This is all just a ruse."

I know to get me to surprise me. But like I would have thought that too. I would have.

But then I'd like y'all are good. You pick up the friends and it just is like cemented.

These aren't my friends. No. Do we have an update? Was it actually her her party?

We have no update. Okay. Did she die? Maybe from the heartache. Yeah, could have. Yeah, there's no other comments. I mean, top comment, which was my thought, too. Celebrate your birthday on hers. Sleep in. Go for a walk with the family. Go out to dinner. It's a Sunday, so you can have the entire day to yourselves.

Birthday swap. I mean, pick your day. She She stole your day. Saturday is a better day. I would throw a party at your castle on Saturday and say, "Fuck you." And it's also it's not her birthday Saturday, so she can't be like, "It's my birthday, too." No, [ __ ] It's tomorrow and it was Tuesday, so no, it's not your birthday. Like take over Saturday and make

Did people really have this kind of like these kind of battles with the in-laws?

Yeah. Did you Did you ever experience this like with with with exes or people that you were you were dating? Did you ever have this kind of tense

like back and forth, this tense energy relationship with the in-laws? Yeah, I think especially when you're new, like there's kind of like,

oh well, who's going to get that time during, you know, the holidays or things like that and you kind of have to like establish new norms or like

Yeah, of course. No, no, this is how we're doing it this year and like I mean I feel like holidays always bring a little drama, but especially when you're trying to blend and like be the new girlfriend and come in and you're like

stirring the pot. That would be my question also. I think that has a lot to do with that the some of the dynamic of this is whose h whose castle

like was this did we go and buy this castle together that is is this my husband's castle that or my husband's family's castle that we moved that we were gifted at the wedding and now

does that make a difference like cuz I I do see like mom sounds like she's a little entitled to the castle

correct so does that make a difference in your head it does it does make a difference in in my head. Also, she had access to the event calendar for the castle and pick that day.

Yeah. Who gave her access to You know what I'm saying? Like, you don't just get access to the event calendar.

You should have said, "Here's the dates available. Here are the dates available."

Mhm. Maybe. Well, now that you know you're working with a evil mother-in-law, like whatever. Monster-in-law.

Yeah. Now that you know that you're dealing with monster-in-law, you can be on your toes a little bit more going forward, which sucks. It sucks having to like Jedi mind trick people and like think 10 steps ahead so they don't rain on your parade.

Yeah. But you need to with her. But it it it could be it could be 10 steps ahead so you don't rain on your parade. Or also also we're just dealing with reality.

Yeah. The reality is you will take advantage of the situ of the situation if I allow you to take advantage. And so

I'm going to create a better boundary here. And sorry ma'am. Ma'am ma'am her back into place. You know, exactly. Ma'am, happy birthday, but you need to sit your ass down on a Tuesday.

Just not on my actual birthday. Like, there's no good reasoning. Like, all of her friends flying in, flying in on a Monday and being there during the week, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. That's harder than a weekend.

You know what I'm going to tell you? Come on. You know what I'm going to tell you?

Tell me. It's going to really [ __ ] him up. You know what she should have done? She should have planned a birthday party of her own on Tuesday in the castle. I would have

bigger, louder. Yeah. Like, girl, no. Go ahead. Happy birthday and I'll pop in.

Yeah. When they sing happy birthday to you. Yeah. When your cake comes down. Yeah. When that MOA is flowing, then I'll be there.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Let me know. Let me know. And you want me to pick the cake? I I have just the thing.

No. Matter of fact, let it be a surprise. No cake. [ __ ] Bakery messed up. Oh.

Oh, you're going that method. I was going to say laxatives, but that felt a little dark.

No. Shitake is I mean [ __ ] cake can be whatever whatever you want it to be open to interpretation.

I'm just saying don't piss Scott off. Okay. Hell no. You'll get a [ __ ] cake in my castle.

Oh yeah. No. Yeah. You getting a [ __ ] cake. Hell no. Ma'am. Happy birthday. And your cake is going to say happy birthday ma'am.

Ma'am. Yeah. You feel that? 75 years ma'am. Ma'am. Um, someone does kind of say, "Talk to your husband since he does not seem to get it. Spell it out for him clearly. And if I were you, I would sneak out for a couple of hours to do something on my own with the kids and husband. It can't rationally be all your mother-in-law even now." So, they're kind of being like, "Hubby's got some

Yes, clearly some little boundary issues." But, you know what also happens in relationships? We say things we don't mean hoping that the partner will just

get it. So what like when you say no, it's fine. It's fine. Don't don't worry about me. Don't don't worry about me. What you're also saying is I want this to be a big deal for you so that I don't seem like a crazy person.

Yeah. I want you to care a little bit more about this because you can clearly see I'm affected by it. Yeah.

And I'm trying my very best. My feelings would be would be so hurt. Like even if you're not a huge birthday person.

Yeah. It's still nice having one day out of the year that is just like solely about you.

A little bit about you. Especially she's a mom. She's got kids. No other day is about her.

Hello. Even her birthday is probably not about her. And it certainly isn't this year,

right? So like [ __ ] Also, imagine if it was like a big if it was a milestone birthday

and you were like taken of that. Take but also you gave the date. I know. I'm going just be honest. You also gave the date.

I don't know. I feel like I would just be like, "Here's the calendar. Pick like here's what you're working with." I would never assume she'd pick my birthday when it's your 75th [ __ ] birthday. Throw the party on Saturday and go till midnight. So at midnight, you light [ __ ] [ __ ] off,

right? And then you're with all of your people as you turn 75. You picked a Tuesday.

Also, dumb [ __ ] Yes. I love when you I love when you get like this. I love when you get like this.

Why is she so dumb? Like, what a dumb [ __ ] Also, also, what kind of birthday party really is a 75year-old throwing? Like, that shit's going to be over at 6:00.

No, I'm going to throw a rager. Yeah, but we not talking about Chris Jenner. Do you know what I'm saying? Chris Jenner got her own castle.

I think old people party harder than you think. I'm going just tell you this. I was at a dinner yesterday at the Builtmore. Well, that sounds

and what came came 6:00 the in these orthopedic shoes, they were ready to get up out of there. Okay, it's all I'm saying.

What What beverages were provided? Alcoholic ones, you know, sugar uh spike. You know, people got uh uh uh compression socks on and all kinds of stuff under underneath the gala gown. And

people got to go to bed. Yeah, I'll tell you right now, my grandma's 83 and she parties.

What do you mean? She parties. She parties. She gets that wine flowing. She'll do an impromptu speech here and there. Just drunk. Minnesota.

Exactly. See what I'm saying? What? You talking about at somewhere with a castle?

I don't know. My aunt that lives out in here in LA, she gets pretty hammered. She hires a little catering team for her house.

Older. She wouldn't like me to say. I'm just saying. I'm just saying the party probably ain't going to last that long anyway.

Yeah. You know, I mean, certainly not on a Tuesday, right? Going up on a Tuesday.

Club going up on a Tuesday. Well, they got that one. Well, wait, hold on a second. If if if old lady knows that, she might be she might be in the Yeah, she yin-yang twins and

she want Uncle Luke. I think old people in Europe also really know how to party.

They know how to do it. They know how to do it. So, I don't Go have a good time, girl. Go have a good time. Buy yourself something nice.

Honestly, I'd get really drunk and make it about you. That's the one time where I think you could sabotage someone's party.

What she should do is go buy herself a really beautiful necklace. Mhm. On her husband's credit card.

Yes. As a birthday gift. Okay. And make that the focus of it. Look at what my husband got me for my birthday.

Mhm. while she eats a [ __ ] cake. Done. I want the recipe. I'm like very scared.

Done. Okay, moving on to this next one. No problem. I'm ready. Now I'm primed. I'm ready now.

Are you? Yeah. Locked [clears throat] in. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace. Talkspace is the number one rated online therapy, bringing you professional support from licensed therapists and psychiatrists that you can access anywhere, anytime. I've loved online therapy in the past. I love how easy it was. I could take it from anywhere. Comfort of my bed, the car, a park. And I love that Talkspace is in network. It's covered by most insurers. And most of their insured members pay a co-ay of $0. And you can switch providers at any time at no extra cost.

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After moving to our home state nearly a year ago, after 7 years of my significant other complaining how our new state sucked and he missed home, I've been working full-time in a demanding job I do really love. Unfortunately, significant other has been unemployed for over a year, applying to only about 15 jobs in that time. We both chose to move home to be near our parents, and that's been mostly positive. I lost my stepmother in August, requiring I drive to another state to take care of a gay gardens type situation. I thought that was the most traumatic things that I'd have to do this year. A few weeks later, however, my dad was hospitalized and I tried to be at the hospital as much as I could considering I was new at my job and had used all of my leave with my stepmother's house. My dad and she were still married, but he had moved back to our state for health reasons. She refused many times to leave him. The day

after my dad was released from the hospital, against my family's wishes, he passed.

I came over to make him soup and I had found him. My significant other has largely been supportive, but he's repeatedly been irritated that he has to make dinner week nights as I work full-time and try to address two people's estates. No wills, plus all the grief. When he recently made an insensitive comment about having to make dinner part of the week, I asked him to consider that this was insensitive considering all that was going on. Additionally, I made all dinners for our family while working full-time and being the primary caregiver for our son for 12 years. When I shared this, he immediately fell into a cycle where he shuts down, shuts me out, gets defensive, then reactive, then depressed. It's what always kept me from being honest with him. Long story short, I kept asking him to talk to me for days. I acknowledged how he must be hurting, too. I thanked him for everything he did around the house. I

knew something was bothering him and asked him to talk to me. After a day of needing to report my dad's death to creditors and my son at dinner cutting me off when I suggested better ways of communicating about wanting rides, they both snapped at me and shut me out. I got up, put on a coat, and went for a walk, and I didn't take my phone. An hour later, I got home and sat with my son outside, and we talked and apologized and listened to each other. When I tried the same with my significant other, he was immediately cold and defensive. No matter what I said, he responded that what I said hasn't happened and that I was being mean. I asked him to then share something with me he felt I hadn't heard instead of just negating what I said.

Correct. Quote, "That's so [ __ ] up to put pressure on me was the response. I pointed out I was crying and mourning and asked why he was so cold. He asked why I didn't care. He had to make dinner. As with all conflicts, this is a simplified version. He is a good person, but we almost got divorced four years ago because of how his undelt with trauma meant that he didn't ever want to talk. Quote, why can't we just act like everything is fine and fell into reactive patterns. I'm in a hotel now. He is not someone to ever go after anyone. So, it's not for drama. I'm an oldest daughter. I know what taking on a lot with little support means, but I'm completely shocked by this. Yeah, big red flag. Being told that I'm selfish because when I cook on weekends, it's just pasta in parenthesis, roasted butternut squash, homemade sauce, slow simmerred.

Am I insane? Am I a 40-year-old woman who has been checking on everyone and working full-time the worst? Did I today finally yell that it would be cool if my significant other applied to more jobs and get a therapist per our agreement when we decided not to divorce and to not drink so much that he passes out on the couch every night? Because all I want to do is make the people I love feel loved. But now I just feel insane and alone.

I keep trying to reach out to him to support him in his own frustration and grief, but he shuts me out. Now I'm drinking wine in a plastic glass in a motel because of it.

Mhm. He knows I'm barely functioning. Am I the [ __ ] for saying he should leave when I get back?

That's the That's the only question is are you the [ __ ] No. No. No. That was a full sentence. No.

No. There's like a little parenthesy at the bottom, too. RIP. My dad, a badass, and my best friend.

So, that's also the thing that's happening, right? So, your your husband is never going to be your dad. He's never going to be your He's never going to be the dude your dad was. And like expecting that after your dad passed, he'd somehow turn it magically turn into the dude he's not always been in your entire relationship that he's not going to also be the dude who was involved in your almost getting divorced four years ago. Like he's the same dude he's always been dude. And it sounds like he's the same dude who going to stay the same dude whether you get divorced now or in another 15 years

right to me I I am not a proponent of telling people to leave their marriages but I am a prop a proponent of telling people of encouraging people to see the situation for what it actually is and love yourself.

Yeah. emphasis on love yourself because no one else is. Like B you they certainly ain't going to do it if you don't do it.

No. And I think like I think you can look at your kid and granted you know he's 12 maybe like I know you said like I took care of him for 12 years.

12 years. So like I'm assuming he's around 12. I mean look at how he's treating you and that's probably being modeled by your husband who's not treating you well. But then when you had the sit when you had a scenario where you came back to your son

and said, "Okay, now listen, we got to talk this." That was super constructive.

And you did and came to a better agreement uh and understanding of one another. That's modeling the the the kind of energy, the interaction that you want.

Oh, that's so Yeah, that's really healthy. Do you know what I mean? No, that was great. If your if your your your significant other though is incapable and unwilling, it it's not this isn't a matter of like, oh, I don't know how.

This dude is deciding not to. It's an avoidant kind of um what have you. Have you read attached?

Oh, like avoidant attachment. Yeah. Yeah. And then there's like conflict resolution styles.

Yeah. So, like this feels to me like I don't want to deal with stuff and I also don't want to do stuff.

Yeah. Like he he probably needs some medicine. Yeah. Maybe some medicine. Mhm. You know, there's some there's some good stuff out there that will help you regulate some of that until you can address some of those issues and and start to heal.

Yeah. But certainly, [ __ ] you can make a dinner. And if you ain't got a job, you can make a dinner five nights a week.

Yep. I'm just going to say that that should be your bare minimum. Bare minimum. Yeah.

When y'all get home and it's going to be good. And if if it was just pasta, [ __ ] did you just eat it? Then get to cooking.

Just pasta. Just pasta. My ass. Oh, go [ __ ] yourself and don't eat my food ever again. Like,

yeah. Yeah. See, see that? As I feel it, too. I'm so Hamburger Helper got the directions on the box. Get in that kitchen and get something made.

There's no excuse. So we can eat. There's no [ __ ] excuse. What are What are you doing?

What are you drinking? If you've applied to 15 jobs over the past year, baby, that's that's one a month.

That's pretty pathetic when your wife is like seemingly carrying the weight of the world.

Yeah. And her parents have died. Yeah, bro. You can't cook me one [ __ ] meal. Get your ass in that kitchen. And I have never said that about a a person's significant other cuz that sounds crazy out of context. Get your ass in that kitchen sounds crazy. But if you play this whole episode,

that's nuts. And then it's unfair to put that pressure on me. What pressure? What pressure?

You told me I would made just pasta. You go in there and make just pasta. Then go make it.

There's no pressure. Boil some water. Dump the noodles in. Strain it. Pour some sauce on it.

Let's go. But you want to simmer that for a little bit. You want to make sure that the sauce gets into the noodle. You know what I mean? You want to make sure you want to heat up that sauce.

We're doing a little meat. Some ground chicken, ground turkey. Start putting it in the pan.

Yeah. You want to season all of that. Also, you want to make sure you season the meat. You want to season the noodles. You want to make sure you got a some butter, some salt, and some pepper in those noodles.

Leave a little bit of the pasta water in there to thicken it up to thicken it up. Yeah. You want to make sure that you got a good consistency for that just pasta

or something. I don't know. But but like what you're not going to do is illuminate your resistance

to an obligation to your family that you can easily share easily. This is such a joke. I always say like,

do you ever feel like people are trolling you? This one? No. Cuz I'm like I get these writeins all the time like

like I would be like, "Let me see a picture of him." There's some. He got to be fine, right? He got to be real. He got to be He got to be fine.

He could be the hottest person on the planet. I know, but like you can't be ugly and also act like that and we stay together cuz like you got to be

sometimes they are. No way. You got to be fine. That's just love. She's such a good person. I know. But she really loves him.

She probably does cuz he's also probably fine. Ugly ass. Ugly ass and heart. Ugly ass heart. He's just ugly all around. Uh, there's no way. Like, he's got so much [ __ ] audacity. Like,

that's crazy. I just I can't. And I think there's like a good to not talk to me for days because I was like, "Could you make dinner? Could you make dinner? Could you make dinner?" Because if you I'm here's what I'll also say.

I'm going to I just hate him. I hate him. I'm with you. Here's what I'm going also say. If we're in a relationship and you're upset with me and and I feel like you're upset with me because you don't get it

and you don't talk to me for days, but I make meals that you eat. Nope. You're not eating.

We got a [ __ ] problem because you're not eating my food. You can't If you can't talk to me, you can't eat.

No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm the same. Yeah. Just pasta. Just pasta. No. And I know some people are going to be like, "That's so toxic." But no, what he's doing is toxic. You're stonewalling.

Yes. Like that is so unhealthy. Add to stonewall hunger strike cuz that's also what you're on.

Mhm. Bye. Cuz your ass ain't eating from this kitchen. Well, and who's paying for everything?

That's That's what I'm saying. I know. Like their money is her money is their money right now, but like who's paying for everything? She's not holding any money over his head. There's no financial abuse. She's letting him apply for 15 jobs in one year and still

supporting him. and then ask just for a little bit in a moment of horrible grief and pain.

Could you make dinner? It's all just need a little I wonder maybe was she like it'd be great if you [ __ ] made dinner sometimes. But even that

but even that like you be you would be like you're right I should. I mean I feel like she's being very balanced in this writing. Even like as with all conflicts this is a simplified version. He is a good person. like she's still like giving him some flowers in this.

I'm going to tell you what made me what of all of those sentences made me understand that she was a a rational nice person. May I see your computer real quick?

Yeah. I'm scared. This is the line where I was like, "She not lying." Okay. Being told that I'm selfish because when I cook on the weekends, it's just pasta. In parenthesis here, here's what it was. Roasted butternut squash, homemade sauce, slow simmerred. Crazy people don't cook like that

for a kid and their man. No. Crazy people don't cook like that. No. That is so so thoughtful. Something like I feel like a lot of us have like things we'll ask oursel before committing to someone.

It got me hot. Hot and bothered. Oh my god. And I feel like a lot of people have these tests in their relationships where they're like, "Can we travel together? Can we decorate together?

Yeah. Can we grieve together? Can we grieve together? Is one that should be on there. And like someone I don't know how this like came into my head, maybe a story over the years, but like if you look at your partner

and you can't go through the worst grief of your life with that person, you are not with the right person. Like I hate to catastrophize. I hate thinking about my parents dying, but like I know without a doubt that the person I have next to me is going to

the dude going to get me through that. Yeah. going to get me through those hard horrible days. And you shouldn't settle for anything less because that is one of the worst days of your [ __ ] life. Losing a parent.

Yeah. And you get this both parents divorce her steparent. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Like

divorce. Give them the D. Put some D's on it. Yeah. Yeah. Let's go. Like done. This is done. I also feel like I agree with you in the the the with the concept of the life's major hurdles which is why I think that two years it's like you don't have enough time.

No, you need some more hurdles. You need some more you need to you you need to see some more experience some more stuff. You need to see and feel and and endure some things. I think personally myself I'm not talking about other people's relation.

You know what I mean? Yeah. my my personal opinion. I just this is this is a that's how I that's how my partner and I like literally my father was passing away as we were beginning our friendship.

Wow. And I was I received the kind of love I didn't even know was possible. That's what I'm saying. And it convinced me against all of my childhood ideas or all of my developmental ideas about what my family would look like.

Mhm. Loving him changed or challenged all of that. But the way he loved on me informed so much about what love is and what you can experience in a life when your partner genuinely gives a [ __ ] about you like what that actually feels and it's like

it's life-changing. It is lifechanging. It actually like it rewired my brain feeling that which one I'm so sorry to hear about your dad but

this was 10 years ago like hearing we are in hearing that it's like it you don't even realize like what love is until you have like really good supportive wholehearted just love where someone like really sees you and cares about you and thinks about you before doing things and it's just like

to have that you know as a friendship as you're getting out of that grief it's like it's so powerful. Yeah, it was it was intense. And I was like, uhoh,

do I hold up? How many how long was it? This is not what I was This does not compute.

I'm dealing with this, but what's this? I am confusion. I am confusion. Um yeah, it was it was intense.

How long was it from like like going through all that? Like how long did it take you to realize and start dating?

Um maybe I mean, we were long distance. Wow. Okay. For three years. Yeah. Which I think you also have in common.

Um, yeah. I mean, he was in North Hollywood and I was in Korea Town. That's long distance, girl.

Yeah, I know. In LA it is. That's I've done long distance before. It's tough. Someone had a passport. Somebody had a passport.

Yeah, that's what that's what I mean. I'm pretty sure we talked about that before. Like long distance thing is no joke.

It's really hard. And it can also feel like you're constantly starting over, which also you you have to rely on things in a you have to rely on a connection and feeding that connection in a totally different way.

Yeah. And so our friendship is super solid. And I want to say it was probably four, five months really after developing our friendship that I was like, "Huh,

something something's here." H That was That was me. It snuck up on me. Yeah. And he like asked me to be his girlfriend. At first I was like, no. I

was like, I'm not ready for a boyfriend right now. No. And then it just like kept going on. I'm like, oh no. Like I genuinely had I really I love this person.

Right. I was like, oh [ __ ] Oh [ __ ] Yeah. I was like, didn't see that one coming.

No, I was the same way. Meanwhile, had prayed for not to see it coming. Like to be for it to be so plain that I was like, where did this come from?

And that's exactly how it h that's exactly how it happened. Oh my gosh, I love Yeah, it was it's it's been a wild wild ride. And so to when you experience people who are in partnerships or in relationships that don't exhibit that kind of thing where one is like one person is like I am doing trying my best and another is really not. You're just like, "Gh, I'm not saying leave, but I'm definitely saying wake the [ __ ] up

to the partner that's not doing shit." Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it sounds like I think like hearing

granted, depression can also make a person feel like they can't do anything. And I don't want to be insensitive to that because I do recognize that while it is not my thing,

it is not an issue that I have. I want to be sensitive to the fact that like if he's dealing with this cycle of I just can't seem to get out of my own way. Then I think as a partner you're trying to find ways to help you see that. And to be honest, making dinner, if that's the one thing you do today since you didn't apply to any jobs, that's the ass.

That's a win. That's And that's also a win. Like if you're dealing with depression, that is a win.

Yeah. So get your ass up even if you got to order it. I hate cooking. Yeah. if you got to order it and just it up and put it on a plate for us so that it's ready when we get home and we're ready to eat so that I don't have to come home and then also figure out that

grocery stores have so much good stuff like pre-made or the deli where all you got to do is heat it up and it's still really affordable. Like I got the best chicken empanadas the other day and it was like two bucks for this big ass empanada. I'm like how you can't you can buy 10 of those. You couldn't make that for 20 bucks. like go like go.

What are we doing? Do something. I know. Well, and besides get on my nerves. I know. I just like I want to just like shake him cuz it's like dude, you have someone who's given you now 4 years of more chances. Like you were at divorce 4 years ago and if she's saying you were at divorce 4 years ago, she was already checked out then because women emotionally and mentally check out way before they ever

but then she wasn't because if it was four years ago and she didn't do it, 8-year-old kid, you know, something's holding her back there.

He's fine. He's fine. I know. He's got to be fine. This man has to be He has to be so good-looking that every time she sees him, she's like,

"I want that picture so bad." So bad. Because she's got to be like, "He's still so hot." And like in this little town, there's no one hot.

Doesn't matter how hot he is. If someone's like acting like this, instant ick. You're dry. There's no sex regardless.

You're not wrong. You're not wrong. Once you get the ick too, you're just like She's in a motel.

You can't force yourself to [ __ ] it. You can't like you got to get over that ick.

Yeah. It's got to be some makeup involved to get me over that, right? And if you can't do dinner, we still not made up. She's in a hotel room writing this drinking was it wine out of a plastic cup.

Yeah. Hey girl, this it don't have to be like this. When you get home, tell that man to go.

Yeah. I mean, and a part of their deal was he would go and get therapy. That was a part of their agreement to not get

divorced. It's always part of the deal. He's had four years. So no matter if he's dealing with depression, like mental health struggles are so real and so valid, but at the end of the day, you're responsible for them.

So is responsibility. Yeah. Yeah. And accountability. I know. And guess what? Our our time has come. That's what that's our time has come to say we go.

Bye to the end of the road. To comment on this one. Quote, "Oh, you work full-time while juggling the grief from the loss of your dad. How could you expect me to cook dinner for us when I'm so busy being an unemployed manchild?

Yeah, I've got beers to drink. This haha. You are grieving, handling estates, working full-time, and being met with utter selfishness. He's unemployed, contributes little, and complains about making dinner while you bury your father. The audacity is staggering. You're not insane. You're exhausted from carrying the mental load for everyone. And then someone goes, "And he's an alcoholic." Which again, like therapy, like start doing something about it.

Listen, if you can't, [clears throat] I can't do it for you. I got enough on my plate.

I know. And also not enough on my plate. Fed made dinner. Metaphorically, literally.

Girl, run for your life. [ __ ] Like, just go like you could go and get some crescent rolls, a rotisserie chicken. I love a rotisserie chicken. Spread the little roll. put the chicken on it. Maybe some tortillas, rotisserie chicken. You get some easy tacos.

And if it's so hard for you to do it by yourself, it sounds like you have a son.

He's 12. Who can help? He can help. Like, let's make it a fun dad son activity.

Yeah. Let's take care of mom for a while, shall we? Yeah. Someone goes, "Reread this and pretend it was someone you cared about asking. You know, it's time to leave him. If not for you, for your son, he needs to know that his dad is not what a good partner looks like." OP responds. They see it. They go, "Damn,

damn. Damn." That's it. If that if that don't hit home for you, and then they respond to themselves and they go, "And by that I mean true things being said." And then someone else responds to P and goes, "A good thing to hold on to is your son was receptive to speaking and learning. Hold on to that because there's still time to ensure he doesn't repeat his father's mistakes. I understand about aging parents and losing them. It sucks. It's completely heartbreaking and at times infuriating when the parentto- child roles reverse.

Show yourself grace. You're mourning two parents in quick succession. You deserve better. And OP goes, "I may have told him, my husband, that as I walked out of the door, quote, "At least your son is the kind of person who will go after someone he loves." basically being like, "I'm going to the hotel room and you're not following me. You're not making it better."

He's not How can he follow you? He drunk. He's in He's at home. He's in the kitchen waiting on somebody to feed him.

My god. How How can he follow you? And also, to be honest, you don't want him to.

How can But but I'm I'm I'm going to This may be a Don't at me, okay? But how can you now start to require him to do something he's never shown you he was gonna do in the first place?

Yeah. Why would you assume that all of a sudden now he's going to do something he has never done?

No. And like she even said like he's not the type to follow someone. He's not the type to chase. So yeah. No. I think like someone kind of responded to that and was like that was a little passive aggressive.

That was that was aggressive aggressive. I mean, I think maybe it's like and like don't and also don't use don't use the kid as

the the the weapon or the the the your bargaining chip. No, that's really Yeah. No, that's really

You know what I'm saying? Like let's let's call a spade a spade. Baby, you mad at him cuz he ain't [ __ ]

Can No. Or at least No. Ain't [ __ ] right now. No. Ain't trying to be [ __ ] You should make him a [ __ ] cake and write I want a divorce on it and say here I made you something.

Made you something cuz you couldn't you couldn't cook me dinner. Taste it. That's real, you know.

Taste it. Taste it. I made this for you. Taste it. [gasps] We have no updates on this one.

Damn. No updates. So, we're going to have to keep our eyes peeled. It's 28 days old. Seems to be coming from a very real account. The account is 3 years old. So, usually like people will question like, "Oh, it's fake. It's fake." If it's a new account, if it's a throwaway, right?

But this person is posting this on a three-year-old account. And I mean, seems seems legit.

[ __ ] So, well, there's hope for the kid. There's hope for her, too. Get out of there and go let your ex-husband stop you from meeting the love of your life.

Exactly. Starting with you. Get out there. Starting with you. like love yourself enough.

Yeah. Because also I think that the the some of this like right is about getting to a place where we love us enough that we can I okay I see the scenario for what this is and I respect you enough to know this is not you at your best and so I'm not going to take so personally you not being able to to be the partner that I I know you to be or I believe you to be or wished you were. Mhm.

But here's an opportunity for us to set some guideline for oursel, some runway for oursel and this relationship because either we're going to be able to come together and really get back to or get to finally a real partnership or we going to have to move this thing on. Respectfully,

I'm going to put a poll. How many of you out there think therapy and stay together? Or are you in my boat with me and we're just jumping to divorce? I want to put a poll on this one.

Put a poll. And and also I'm going to put a I'mma ask for another for addition to the poll. Okay.

And how many people want to see a picture of him? Option C. Show me a picture. Show me a picture.

I would actually really like to see a picture of him today. Not 10 years ago, 20 years ago. today.

Drunk on the couch. Mhm. Cuz that would be enough, baby. No, no, no, no. I'm like I'm I want to see it, but I I fear I fear I would have to stage an intervention then and like literally show up at this lady's house.

Do you ever feel that way? All the time. I'm like some of these stories I've literally been like, "Hey, if you need help to move, like, let me know. Drop a pin. I'll roll up with a U-Haul. Let's go."

Cuz I get it. I know how to drive big rigs. I can drive the U-Haul. I That's right. I know that's right.

There's a lot about me. Get you a Get you a friend. Get you a because [gasps] she said I will pull up.

I will. Beep beep beep beep beep [ __ ] beep beep. [ __ ] that's going to be my new thing. Beep beep. Okay. Got a couple more for you here.

I'm gonna give you a choice. Okay. Okay. By the title. You gonna give me the title? Mhm.

Okay. Option number one. Okay. Me with my boyfriend of 2 years. He destroyed the painting I made for him because it was a cheap gift. Or option two.

That one already pisses me off. I just found out my mom has been sending my girlfriend cruel messages for who knows how long. I don't know how to handle this.

Okay. Can I ask Can I ask for Can I ask for one piece of ad of of information from each?

Yeah. Do you just want both? Kind of. Okay. Okay. But here's the thing. Here's the thing.

Okay. With the painting, is it like one of those abstract? Do we have a photo of the painting before it was destroyed? Because like, you know, sometimes painters are silly and they do things like they'll paint a something white and then put a red dot on it and be like, "Happy happy birthday. I did this for you."

No picture from what I'm seeing. Like, was this a portrait? Was it a landscape? Was it

I'm sure we would find out some more details in the story. Okay. And then with the mom,

does the girlfriend deserve it? like you know I know these are very valid questions.

Let's do them both. Okay, so starting with the gifts. Okay, me 24 female with my boyfriend 27 male of 2 years. He destroyed the painting I made for him because it was a cheap gift. My boyfriend John is extremely difficult to buy presents for. He came from an affluent family and has a great job and buys everything he wants whenever he wants it. I am lower income. I lost my job a few months ago and had to take on another one which pays less and I'm struggling to pay my part of the rent and pay off my student loans. It is difficult for him to understand this most of the time.

I love to paint. My boyfriend has said my paintings are very good and that he likes them a lot. Since my income is so low, I decided to paint my boyfriend a painting for his birthday Saturday. I researched this for months beforehand. I decided to paint a scene from his favorite game, Bioshock, with him as a big daddy character. I know it sounds cheesy, but I honestly thought he would like it because he always said I was talented and he loves this game. I poured a ton of work into it. A week before his birthday, he had been hinting heavily at wanting a new iPhone. When I presented him with a painting, he asked me if this was his present and if I got him something else. I told him this was his present and that I had worked on it for months special for him. He got upset and told me a bunch of awful things, saying that it's a quote cheap and lazy gift and that I was cheap in general. I was trying to diffuse the situation and

I told him that I was sorry he didn't like it, but I wasn't able to get him the iPhone he wanted. He took the painting and he didn't tear it, but he sort of bent and crinkled it, completely ruining the paint. He told me that I obviously didn't care about what he wanted and that I was bad at budgeting and all of this other ranting. It came out that he resented paying for groceries and utilities, even though he had agreed to this before. I told him that if he wanted to discuss that we could, but that this wasn't a good reaction. He told me that I was just after him for his money and that he didn't want a shitty painting when he could apparently be in a committed relationship with another girl at his workplace who makes way more money.

[clears throat] Then he told me, quote, "But I love you." As though it was an excuse for what he said. Then he said that this girl had brought him a red velvet cake for his birthday, which is his favorite cake, which I didn't care about. was that was the most gangster line I've ever heard, which I didn't care about.

I told him that I baked him a chocolate cake earlier in the week with cream cheese frosting, and that is basically red velvet cake. He switched and said that she had gotten it from his favorite bakery, and some random girl knows which bakery he likes over me. I just went to bed. This morning, he's gone, and so is the painting. He sent me a text saying he went out to an Easter birthday brunch with his parents and he'll be back soon. I'm not sure if I want to end the relationship, which has a ton of commitment involved. He has never acted like this before about money and I don't know what's up because he's still not telling me. I think he might be interested in this other girl or at least jealous of how much money she makes compared to me. How am I even supposed to approach this? I am already feeling very hurt about the painting and I'm not sure that's a good place to start another argument. I

I definitely need to see the painting. I really like how many hours how many hours are we talking? Like she said she's working on it for months but like months.

Yeah. But like how many hours have we actually been sitting here? Like 5 minutes a day.

Yeah. Like like what like what does this painting look like? Because he this man is angry. Okay.

This painting he must does she not get does he not look good in the that she painted him as a daddy? Is he Is he like more of a Is he more of like an otter or a bro? Like I don't like I don't know. Like I did he look fat in the painting? Did I you know like there's there's got to be like Bioshock. Nobody looks cute in Bioshock that I know of.

I'm literally So I I had no idea what Bioshock was. Is this what you were envisioning?

Yeah, that's what I was envisioning. And I don't know that that's exactly what I would want for my birthday gift. But

I would not want this for my birthday gift at all. But I can also tell you that like he also may be lying about what he thinks about her art.

Yeah. and wanting to just be encouraging to her like yo baby your hobby is really nice. I'm glad that you have an outlet of creativity but like don't I don't want this as gifts for me.

No, that's what I'm gathering. I'm gathering someone like just being like yeah I love that you have your passion and super supportive but like doesn't mean I want that for my birthday but

in the same breath like your girlfriend is going through a really tough time financially. Yeah.

She's not going to buy you a new iPhone. Do you know there it's unreal how expensive the new iPhones are getting. They are expensive.

Like I remember when the iPhone was like what 400 500 bucks. Yeah. But I mean I was going to say but it can't be $29.99 a month on Clara.

Just put it on Put on layway. I know. Put on layaway. But I I mean if it's that serious.

I know. But also I think that there's a real disconnect happening here between this dude and reality. If she's saying, "I'm struggling to like contribute to rent and groceries." Expecting her to have saved money to buy you a phone

is kind of lunacy, right? And clearly there's something going on with this girl at work and he wants you to know and now it seems like the opportune time.

I know. I mean, cuz he didn't say nothing when she brought the cake. He waited till now to bring the cake up.

Yeah. Well, and like he didn't bring any cake home. her comments here. I think he might be interested in this other girl or at least jealous of how much money she makes compared to me. I'm not sure if I want to end the relationship, which has a ton of commitment involved.

Is the commitment that you live with him? Is that the commitment? Yeah. And I think

cuz that is commitment. I think so, but based on the comments, like I think it's more so like OP says here like, "Haha, he's definitely not the best guy. He says a lot of things in anger, but I'm definitely considering breaking up with him because of my financial situation and the lease. this would be very difficult, however. So, I'm wondering if there's any way this could be worked out. So, it's almost as if

she's like biting time. She's biting time or like I don't really want to break up because like I do have this great situation with like rent and he pays for groceries and utilities and whatever.

Like I want to eat and rightfully so, things are expensive. Like that's sucks if you're down on your luck and struggling.

But also [clears throat] maybe he feels that. Does he which he kind of made that call

because if he does he feel does this dude feel like you're actually just kicking it so so I'll take care of you in this time of your need like

I mean he kind of implied she's a gold digger. I mean is she I don't know. I'm going be honest with you. I don't know no gold diggers that can paint.

I don't know. There's other skills. There's other skills. She's still there grinding that like it's not like she's like I quit my job to be an artist and her art is just like not sustaining her even. What I mean by that is that like it don't necessarily to me sound like this is she doesn't give off the kind of from this post

gold digger energy but if his interpretation of her situation is it feels like you are taking advantage of me that is the conversation this birthday gift is just a s another symptom of that because what what it also like if you read a little deeper it also feels like he's like you got iPhone money somewhere. You're just not spending it on me or on these groceries.

I know that it's like it's almost like he maybe is just kind of unaware of her financial situation truly cuz in his head he's like you're not really paying as much as you should for rent. I'm paying groceries. I'm paying utility. You didn't even give me the red velvet cake from my favorite bakery. which like granted men are simple in a lot of ways silly silly human beings but based on what on this share doesn't it also sound like there's there's some information about her her financial situation that we don't know cuz like cuz like if you are broke

and we live together I know how broke you are I know like you think there'd be more transparency between them Like, and I if I know you can't pay rent, I'm not asking you to buy me an iPhone. And so, like, if you're just not paying rent, though,

because you're like, you got it. And I'm like well I don't want to have it. You are. And you are making some money. You're getting some money from something.

Yeah. You can contribute still. You can contribute. If that's not the conversation, then it comes to the head.

I know. But the the I'll be honest with you, the the most fascinating part of all of this is is the girl at work

with the red velvet cake. She's probably he wants her. Definitely wants her. Have you ever bought you ever gone to a specific bakery for a guy you're not [ __ ]

Nope. For his birthday to buy the cake that he loves? No. For a dude that you just work with?

No. Those bougie bakeries, those are expensive cakes. Probably $40 $50 cake. Yeah. Like we got we got to we do velvet. Red velvet is a bougie ass cake and chocolate is not the same as red velvet. I'm going to tell you right now, girl.

It is similar. It is not the same. Not the same. We do have a little bit more context about him. Um OP shares a muffin incident in the comments. He thought I was making blueberry muffins and threw one across the room when he realized they were cranberry.

He's a little brat. He's a brat. But here's what here's what I'll tell you. She knows that and she's okay with him being a brat. She just got to figure out where she's going to live. And she's like, "Do I jeopardize my my housing right now?

Go move in with your girlfriends. Have fun. Live with your friends and date." Doesn't have a picture of the painting. Was hoping to get a scan of it before it was framed. Didn't do that.

Here's what Okay, so here's what I also tell you. Mhm. You work on something for months and you don't take one picture of it. Progress. I know.

Start, finish. Him standing next to it when he when he when she unveils it. Nah, I don't Let me tell you something. That painting wasn't no good.

I mean, when I didn't say it. If you're out there listening, I'm sure it was beautiful.

I want to see. I'm not so sure. And I want to see. We do. I want to see some. If you are listening, if you painted this painting and and you are listening to this, I am Scott Evans on social media, please DM me a photo of this painting and I I will take it back, but it sounds like

You think it's ugly? I think it was it wasn't flattering and it wasn't good. Well, we don't know.

I would like to know, but [clears throat] I will say this is a 10year-old Reddit account. So again, it's giving real account, real story.

Oh, yeah. I'm definitely not I'm definitely not getting falsity falsehood. No, we do find out more info that I moved in with him because I love him. I signed a lease because I loved him. I pay half the rent every single month. It was him who opted to start paying the utilities. I pay all of my student loans, not him. I am worried because I will lose money on the lease that I do not have and I cannot afford to lose money right now. Right.

Let him break the lease. Straight up. Let him pay his way out. I'm with that. Um, OP does also share that he isn't like the most attractive. All the more reason, I don't know, to maybe not stick around with someone who breaks your painting. You even even if he didn't like the gift, his reaction is diabolical.

Crazy. You didn't get me an iPhone. Snaps the painting. And also the muffin. The muffin. Bro, we got some issue. We got some anger issues we got to resolve. We got to It's time to grow up.

Put it back on the counter. I know you were looking forward to blueberry, but cranberry is still pretty good. And if you don't want it, put it back on the counter to throw it.

Also, she seems like the kind of lady who, you know, if you wanted a blueberry muffin, go get the blueberries. I'll make the muffin. I'll make you a blueberry muffin if that's what you wanted.

Yeah. But the thing is, I told you yesterday I was going to make cranberry muffins. You forgot you and thought it was a blueberry or weren't listening to me.

Yeah. We get an update. We got an update. We got an update. Oh, hell yeah. Update. I have an update. When John didn't return after a couple of hours, I read your comments, got a little pissy, and invited over a couple of girlfriends for drinks and complaining. I did a lot of complaining. And they basically said what you guys said. John did not return home after his Easter brunch, so I ate a tray of lemon bars. When I got

Yum. [gasps] When I got home from work today, he had the painting and he had put it in a cheap dollar store frame. It was wrinkled, flaked, and ruined beyond repair. He told me that he was sorry that he had gotten so upset and that he was just expecting a different gift. I asked him where he was, and he said he stayed with his parents for the night and borrowed work clothes from his dad.

Was he wearing his daddy's clothes? OP goes, "Yeah, right." I directly asked him why he was so upset when I gave him a painting that I work so hard on. He said that he pays for everything and gets rightfully upset when I don't use all of my extra cash to be thoughtful. I pay for half the rent on this expensive apartment, all of my student loans. I have no extra cash. He buys the most expensive part of the groceries, like a pound of pine nuts a week, an expensive gelato always in the freezer, and cranks up the AC and heat and leave the lights on. We would have countless arguments since I would be paying half of a huge bill that I contributed 10% to. He started paying for utilities and groceries at his insistence after it started to take a toll on our relationship. I told him that if he was so upset, we could split the utilities evenly again, but I was mad that he took out his temper on me

and destroyed all of my hard work. He started saying things like, quote, "You never loved me. You just knew I was a prized pig," etc. Our degrees are the same. This is how we met. But his dad hired him right out of school and I was left to find work for myself. I don't resent him for this, but I wasn't even aware of this economic status while we were initially dating. And by the time I learned, I was already invested into the relationship. Trust me when I say he's never been this aggressive before in our entire relationship.

So, I knew something was up. Yeah. I was super pissed and I outright asked him if he was [ __ ] Red Velvet.

That's like literally the words as you were reading them. I was like, "Is he [ __ ] Red Velvet?"

His work friend. He said that a while ago they went out for drinks after work with a whole group and ended up kissing afterwards.

Of course, I asked him if that was all that happened. Then what? And he said yes.

Lies. I kept asking him what his problem is, why he has to compare me to other girls, why he tore up the painting, why he is aggressive now when he hasn't been before. I know I was probably being annoying, but I was so mad. He kept repeating the money thing over and over. Finally,

that you don't make any money. That's what he kept saying, I guess. I pay for everything.

You're broke. So, I can do whatever I want. You're broke. Oh my god. Could you imagine being in a in a disagreement with your significant other and they're just like, "You're but you're a broky.

You're broke. You're like, but you're broke all the time. You're just a gold digging hoe."

Ho. And like you're just using me for my money. I'm a prized pig. I am a prized pig.

Oink. Oink. [ __ ] Oink. Beep beep. God. What? What? Finally, he broke and told me that it wasn't just a kiss. He said that he and Red Velvet had started going on little dates during work hours.

They did not have sex, but they are basically in a relationship. He said he was falling for her and felt as though she was better for him and wanted me to break up with him.

Clear. Part of the painting thing was his resentment towards me financially and part was him wanting to hurt me enough that I'd break up with him.

Yep. I guess that the fight about the painting was when it got real for him and he wanted to fix it and break it off with red velvet. He and I had signed a one-year lease and we still have 3 months left, but I told him to get out of the apartment and that we're breaking up. And he did leave with some clothes. I'm not sure if he's coming back. Maybe he's staying with Red Velvet. I don't care. Not anymore.

This is the This is the ending that we all wanted. Yeah. Oh, there's more. Edit to add. I do not have a picture of the painting,

but I do have one of my pencil sketches uploaded and I will send the link to people who request it.

Request the [ __ ] link. I'm sending her a message. Send her a message. Starting chat now.

Oh, it better be the best [ __ ] sketch I've ever seen. You can't be mean if she sends it.

What? I won't be mean. I mean, I'm not gonna break the sketch. That's true. You know what I'm saying?

Okay. I sent her a chat. We'll see if we get anything back by the time this episode comes out.

Oh, please. I'll send it to you. Yes. And I if if I'm not here, if we can't if I I will film something after of the genuine re first reaction and send it to you.

I know. Last comment we have from OP is he is quite chubby. Haha. Good riddance. He'll have himself a nice slice of red velvet cake.

Wait, do we have a picture of him? No, no picture of him. How do they know he's chubby?

Also, I'm just realizing Uh-oh. This post is 11 years old. I don't know if we're going to get

We're not going to get a picture. I don't know if we're going to get that. So, the reason it's reciring is because one of our friends, Direct Caterpillar 77, just posted this on the best of Redditor updates 18 days ago. Okay, here's what I'll say.

Okay, if someone else has ever seen Yes, that please send it to us. We must see the sketch.

Okay, I feel like someone out there has definitely seen this. I think someone could send it to us. I have faith.

I'm also going to say that if he destroyed it and then put it in a frame, that's just new art. And don't call it happy birthday. Call it happy breakup.

M there you go. That's somebody somebody heartbroken will buy that. Somebody rich will be like I want that heartache. I want to buy that.

Yeah. I want to collect that. Art art basil basil whatever that basil fancy thing is called. I mean people literally buy trash. So

yeah. Bananas stuck to a wall. It's crazy. So crazy. It's so much fun though. It's so much fun. I've never been.

Oh god. It just passed. It's so much fun. It's a good time. I've never been to Miami.

What? No. Mm- Do you always just go back to Minnesota? Yeah, either there or France.

Yeah. You see what I did there? That was the [ __ ] Yeah. You're trying to troll me with Minnesota.

No, that was the [ __ ] baddest. That was the bad That was the [ __ ] the the best possible response you could. That was badass.

My moments where my brain thinks fast. Yeah, that or France. I know. I was going to say can, but I didn't want to, you know.

No, that was even better. That's even better. South of France. Are you kidding me?

There we go. That's it. Okay, there's one last one before I release you. You know, holding you hostage. It's been quite nice.

I Listen, I'm cozy. It's quite nice having you here. Yeah, those last couple did make me a little hot, though. I was I was all under underneath the blanket and everything.

Not no more. Mm-m. Mm-m. This last one coming from r/ relationship advice, 17 days old,

titled, I just found out my mom has been sending my girlfriend cruel messages for who knows how long. I don't know how to handle this. Male 36, girlfriend female 32. Generally, not much rattles me. My friends call me a stoic, emotionally constipated idiot, and they're not wrong. Which is why we're all still a little stunned that the love of my life is basically my opposite. I've been with my girlfriend for 8 years, known her for 10. She's quiet, gentle, brilliant, an actual whole ass professor, and genuinely one of the kindest people I've ever met. She's silly, shy, goofy in the best ways, and loves to poke fun. I love all of it. I love her more than I've ever loved anyone ever in this lifetime.

But last night, something happened that I can't let go of. My phone was charging, so I was scrolling Instagram reels on hers like I usually do. One of her friends DM'd her. Normally, I'd send back some dumb reaction photo so they know it's me. Just a thing in our circle,

right? But it wasn't a joke. It was screenshots my girlfriend had sent her friend. and the friend was trying to comfort her.

Uh-oh, there's multiple red flags going on here, but okay. I hesitated and then opened the screenshots to read better, and I'm glad I did. I didn't even regret it anymore because what I saw were multiple messages from my mother. Cruel ones. And the timestamps weren't all from the same day. So, I don't know how long this has been happening. a week longer. No idea. Some of the messages my mom sent.

Oh, they include the messages. Quote, "Maybe he hasn't proposed because you haven't given him a child. Men don't marry placeholders." That was the most recent one. This one makes me see red. I can't even imagine how my baby felt. Next one. Quote, "If you stopped dressing like a teenage boy and put on some makeup, maybe he would see you as a wife instead of one of his little friends. quote, "You're keeping him from his family. He used to visit." For clarity, I'm the one who pulled a back because of her behavior towards one of my sisters. That's a whole other issue. So, nothing to do with my girlfriend. Quote, "You think you're special? You're lucky he even brought you home. Girls like you don't get commitment from men like him." What the hell is this? Next one. Quote, "You're not good enough for the life he deserves. Reading them made my stomach drop. They were hateful and completely false. There's even more, but these were

the ones seared into my brain. And my girlfriend didn't even tell me about any of them. She's just been carrying this alone, smiling, laughing with me, all while this garbage was sitting in the back of her mind.

Mhm. My girlfriend avoids conflict. She hates upsetting anyone. I get it. It's easier to talk to a friend first. And my mom can be dot dot dot dot intense. She probably didn't want to put me in a position where it looked like choosing sides, but I've chosen. And it's not her I'm angry with. I'm furious at my mother. I'm exhausted by this. She knows how much my girlfriend means to me. She hears me talk about her constantly. I really thought she might actually be happy for me. At the same time, I don't want to make this harder on my girlfriend or make her feel exposed. So, here's where I need advice. I was okay cuz I was like it sound bro it sound like we already we on the why are you on Reddit and not on the phone with your mama.

We're like this. Do I tell my girlfriend gently that I saw the messages that I'm on her side and that she doesn't need to shield me from my own mother or do I handle my mother privately and not bring it up unless my girlfriend does? I just want her to feel safe and supported. And it makes me feel sick that she's been dealing with this alone. I mean actually sick. I'm just watching her make breakfast and I just dot dot dot dot dot.

What's the best approach that prioritizes her well-being first? Well, I love you.

What do Right. First of all, if it doesn't work out with them, call me. Um, well, wait, actually, never mind, cuz your mom sound like she crazy. Your mom sound like But but I'm but I'm not his girlfriend, so try me. Send me one of them text messages. I can't wait. You know what I mean? Could you imagine?

Could you imagine if you would stop dressing like a little boy and put some I can also hear I can hear the voice.

Stop dressing like a little boy, put some makeup, he wouldn't look at you like one of his little friends. I I have family that talks like that. So, I'm going to say

we be fighting. They would never talk to a significant other like that. But like this feels very familiar to me if you know what I'm saying.

You're not this one though. You're not good enough for the life he deserves. I'm gonna tell you, I've heard that. I have I have heard that that statement said. I have heard that.

Did you clock them immediately? No, no, no, no. It wasn't said to me about someone that I was dating, but I have heard

a family member say this. And that is crazy. It is. You can you might think that [ __ ] in your head, but you never say it out loud.

Sometimes you got to know. And in this particular case, this particular case, I wouldn't even say that they were wrong. I'm just going to say I was going to say I'm just going to say that. Totally kidding. Mostly um uh mostly um but it is it is if if the idea is to be What do you think? Honestly,

I would want to know if you were the girlfriend. Yeah. I'd like it feels so so so [ __ ] good if my boyfriend came to me and was like, "Hey, I I you know, I was on reals like like I usually do and message popped up and I saw what my mom's been saying to you and like that is beyond [ __ ] up. I wish you would have told me. I get why you didn't. You didn't want to choose or make me choose or whatever, but it's not okay. And just so you know, like I'm going to address it.

I have already addressed it." Oh, so that's how you think you want him to go to mom first.

Hey, source. Mhm. What's up? Yeah. With screenshots. What? I guess this how you feel?

I guess what do you do if mom's like, "Oh, she told you. We're not there yet. This is how you feel

to mom. This is how you feel, ma. This is like this is this is the woman that this is who you are.

I'm just looking out for you. I just want what's best for you. You know, I love you. This isn't indicative of love. This is control.

I'm just trying my best. Yeah. I I wish you were. And it And what it feels like you're trying your best at is to make this woman feel like trash.

Mhm. Because if you cared about me and you see how happy I am with her, if you felt this way, you'd come to me and I'd be able to tell you that the things that you're concerned about aren't my concern or we we'd be able to have that conversation that you wouldn't be berating this woman.

Yeah. Through text. Bering. And don't you have other stuff to do, ma? Go start your needle point or something. You got water aerobics at three. You got Miss Jan's birthday party at the cast Castle in Italy. She She's turning 75 on Tuesday.

Go bake some sourdough. Come on. Yeah. Like what? Like what are we doing? And I get that you love me.

Yeah. And I love how intensely you love me, but this is too far. This is too This is too far.

That's too much. That's too far. And I need you to apologize. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I need you to apologize to her.

That's the bare minimum. And from apologize to her point forward, we're going low low low contact if not no contact. Like I just don't know how you like could trust her going forward. And like I think opening the door between your girlfriend too is going to help. Like hey, no. Like you got to tell me if my mom's saying this crazy [ __ ]

Yeah, it's crazy. Like this is not okay. Like unless his mom is like I was hacked. Like I think that this is a this is

they hacked my phone. I didn't even know. Honestly, old people do get hacked quite a bit.

Quite a bit. But usually it's like plot twist. Hey, um send me some money. Like

go buy these gift cards. Yeah, go buy the gift cards. My grandpa My grandfather also

literally got hit so hard from that. He almost did. He's he told me he was at the grocery store buying getting ready to buy the cards cuz he said he felt like he knew it was a scam, but he wanted to see how it was going to end.

Yeah. Oh my god. And that the there was a woman in the the checkout lane behind him

that told seeing the difficulty he was having with trying to pay for the card and the person on the he was on the phone with the person scamming him and trying to buy the card at the same time. And he was the guy was like, "No, no, just buy the card. Just just do this. Do this." And he was like, "Do what? Do what?" And he was kind of like [ __ ] with the scammer.

The lady behind him said, "Sir, are you are you buying these cards for yourself?" And he was like, "Oh, no. I'm buying them for the person that's on the phone."

Oh, what a hero. I'm buying them for the person that's on the phone. Um so they can erase my my the viruses on my computer. And she goes, "Sir, hang up the phone now. You're being scammed." And before my granddad could be like, "Is that right?" The guy on the phone hung up. Ain't that crazy? What a little hero. I see. I think like all the people selling gift cards these days should like ask people, especially seniors.

Well, now there's a limit. You can only buy like two or three gift cards at a time. Yeah. At grocery stores and stuff.

I think my I forget how much my grandpa lost, but I'm pretty sure it was like at least five digits.

Damn, they got him. Yeah. Yeah. And he he literally got scammed shortly after again, too. And I'm like, someone just like take his bank card away. Like,

yeah, you got to get in one of them play phones where it only calls two numbers.

Yeah, it's like a walkie-talkie. I know. I know. Damn. I know. Well, I just I feel like in in this case, 100% we're going to ma independent of girlfriend.

Yeah. And we're also going to girlfriend and we're reiterating that we are in this together and how much how whatever it is you're dealing with. Whatever it is you are navigating, we're navigating it together. Don't ever feel like you especially with my mama.

It's my mama. It's my mama. And I love I love your tomboy. You know what I'm saying? Fresh face.

I mean, you see me I've been wearing rugby polos non-stop. I almost wore one today and I'm like that would be like three episodes in a row in a rugby polo and I can't do that. But I literally like I feel like when people meet me in the wild like they have no idea what my sexuality is. I dress very rugged.

You don't know. And I and I use the word partner a lot. I I dress very rugged. I dress rugged.

I wear like a barber barn jacket with like hunter wellies. Like who am I? I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. And neither do you. I love a a mixed wardrobe. I'm into it, but that doesn't mean that no one will love you or commit to you.

No. You know what I mean? Like, you don't get to say that to me because I'm comfy.

No, I I dress like that and I got rings. We're fine. We're good. Thank you. Where do you [ __ ] want to wear?

Where would you want to wear it? People are so weird about clothes. Why are clothes so gendered? Just wear the [ __ ] fabric you want to wear in the cut you want to wear it in. I'm going to also just like but parents be caring and parents be

[ __ ] weird. Parent parents are like they they have an idea of what the life they want for their kids and they have been maybe uh preparing their kid for that life, right? Entitling themselves to experience that life also. And when people come into their kids' lives that don't fit that, it's hard to adjust. So, like Ma gets some grace, but like, hey, it's time to change behavior.

Oh, yeah. Hardcore. Yeah, we're doing a full 180 on your behavior or you're gone.

You got to Well, you She mama. She can't be gone. No, she's going to be gone for my life.

I know. You might as well be dead cuz you're dead to me. I know. You are fiery today. We're a toss toss. Okay.

Top comment. As an older guy who's cut out his mom, you need to do the same. First, you need to sit down and tell your girlfriend. Let her know it was an accident that you saw it, but you are glad you did. Let her know you're on her side. Tell her you plan on putting some space between you and your mom. Also, block your mom on her phone so she no longer has to put up with your mom's toxicity. Second, you need to lay into your mom for her [ __ ] behavior. Put some boundaries on how you and your girlfriend will be as far as contact goes from this point forward. This might not be a popular opinion, but your first priority is to your girlfriend. Family doesn't mean [ __ ] when they treat your partner like [ __ ]

Family, it's not that family doesn't mean [ __ ] but again, we got to look at what we are in reality. We're dealing with reality, not the dream or the fantasy,

not the potential. We're dealing with where we are. And like, ma, not okay. Not okay. And as a result, like we got to work at getting back to a place of hanging out.

I know. And being around because now it's just really uncomfortable. We do get an update. I just found it accidentally. I thought it was came over, but I I do. We have more.

Why do you keep doing this to me? I don't know. But luckily, it's the end. Like, what a good note to end on.

Is it a good note? Maybe. I haven't read it cuz I just found it. What if it's not a good note?

I don't know. I see a lot of heartbreak emojis. So, [gasps] she left them. I talked to my girlfriend the same night I made the original post. We're working through everything together right now and things are headed in a all caps good direction.

Oh, great. I'm not ready to write the full update yet since there's a lot to sort out privately before I come back with all of the details, but I did want to say something to the people who reached out when I was clearly not in the best headsp space. For transparency, I told my girlfriend exactly what happened, that I panicked, had what I'm pretty sure was some kind of anxiety attack, and ended up here on big beautiful Reddit asking a question that in hindsight had a pretty obvious answer.

Correct. Not my finest hour considering I'm usually, you know, the calm one between us. I guess I was bound to pop at some point.

Was this popping? Reddit was popping. I guess that was like very tame and controlled.

Cuz I'm going to say I'm going to say this right now. If brother, if this is you popping, if if this does not work out with this girl, please call me.

Couple of threpples streaming on Peacock. Okay, there you go. Um, Opie goes on to say, "I even ugly cried on the side of the road." Dot dot dot. Jesus Christ.

I love him. Like so emotionally in tune and like self-aware. I love him. I also showed her

So like his mom did a good job. [ __ ] you're right. [gasps] His mom did a good job. She's like, "My son is a [ __ ] prize."

Then why is she she's so [ __ ] in the head? Because she's like, "Protect." She's like, "Hey, step your weight up. Put on some [ __ ] clean clothes.

Don't you come here defending mom now." I'm just saying. Now [ __ ] just got real. He's crying on the side of the road.

I know. Just a little pulling. Hey, he pulls over. He pulled over. He pulled over

to be safe. to be so he could cry. It's hard to cry and not hurt anybody. It gets blurry.

I've driven through it. He's safe. He's such a little angel. He is a good dude. She did a great job and she is and she is trying to protect

or he went to therapy and unpacked a lot of trauma and developed into this really healthy well-balanced adult on his own.

Yeah, maybe. But I'm thinking probably for the sake of this conversation, I'm thinking probably mama did a pretty good job and mama has a hard time releasing now. We got to let go.

There might be something here. Okay. Okay. So, he goes on to say, "I also showed my girlfriend this account and she like looked at me then the comments and up votes and hit me with quote, "Bet you wish your actual account got this much engagement, huh?" Destroyed me in seconds, but so very accurate. Broken heart. Broken heart. Broken heart.

Oh, that's the broken hearts. Okay. Okay. A lot has happened since and some of it was very eye opening. Turns out my mom has a pattern of this behavior. After my girlfriend and I talked, I reached out to my siblings and my younger brother opened up and told me that she did the same thing to his now wife years ago. He just didn't tell anyone. They both moved far away and kept their distance because of it. That was a hard thing to hear, but it explains so much. Also, my girlfriend is super close with my siblings. So, she knows. She knows.

She knows. She knows. Yeah. Anyways, to sum it up real quick, my girlfriend and I are solid. We're talking. We're being honest. And we're on the same team. I'm taking care of the rest. I just wanted people to know things are okay and we're moving forward. And I appreciate a lot of you. I'm too anxious to open up any of the comments on the original post. Some of y'all are brutal, but real. My girlfriend has been peeking for me, though. Happy holidays everyone. Stay safe.

I I'm in love with him. That is excellent communicator. This is what like quality storyteller.

This is what women want. Men want anyone. This is what everyone wants. Everybody wants that. Everybody wants that. If whoever wants a man wants that.

This is good. That's real good. This is really good. And if he cute, [ __ ] it.

No, he he sounds cute. Just buy this. He does. Someone that shows up for you has your back. 10 out of 10 every time. I see like I see like soft brown curly hair,

you know, little Honestly, you know who I'm envisioning? Who? David Corin cornswe

the um new Superman. New Superman. I could see that. I was thinking more like Regga Jean Page.

Oh, also I don't know. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. You know who's really doing it? And I just heard a rumor maybe uh future Bond Callum Turner.

I have heard Callum Turner. I have I have heard fiance. Fiance. I think I feel secretly married.

I'm not upset about that. That's a That's a That's a good sitch. She's cutie. I like I like That's weird. I like them together. I like the two-finger thing was kind of I like them together.

I mean, the two-finger thing wasn't weird cuz you weren't doing a different mode. It was

right. It wasn't like a donut hole. Yeah. Yeah. This was But this also considering it's also this is also strange.

Yeah, cuz that's giving like tip to tip, right? Yeah. A little Mhm. And now I can't stop doing it.

I know. You just like everyone at home like bumping their fingers together. It feels good.

Feels good. Feels good. So I I I wait you heard I also heard that maybe um Damson Idris new bond.

Who? Damson Idris people people's poll people's poll who is this Brad Pitt he was the other driver in form in F1

I never saw it he's Yeah he could do it too right Mhm. and has the accent. I know it's British.

They have famously said or the the the assumption is that there will never be a black bond, but we did get a black woman 007.

That is true. So, I mean, I don't I don't think that that's entirely impossible. Just saying.

I mean, times are changing. And changing. It was supposed to bear. It was supposed to be um

Jean Reggae, whatever you just said. Yeah, sure was. That's why he quit Bridgetgerton. That was a That was the rumor.

And mistakes were made. You shouldn't have left Bridgetgerton. Jonathan Bailey can do it all.

Come on, sir. I love when you get spicy like this. I love it. I love it. It's my favorite. It's my favorite.

My favorite is having you on. Um Open Invite. Literally open invite down the street anytime.

I love this. Where can people find you? Where can people listen to your podcast?

So, so exciting. We just dropped our house party episode, holiday house party episode for the podcast. It's like an o like an hour of the best most chaotic holiday family holiday party you've ever seen.

Okay. Ni Nash and surprise guests. We had a a pretty big surprise for her and apparently became a very big surprise for her uh husband Jessica Betts as well. Didn't see that one coming.

Oh. Um, and a major major major announcement for House Guest. So, really very excited. We are taking this show on the road. House guest is going on tour.

Are you so excited? I am so excited. I'm going to be picking your brain about this life on the road.

We love a live show. You know what I'm saying? We love a live show in this house.

Yeah. And so, we're going to be taking the show on the road and really bringing the experience of house guests to our neighbors across the country. And so come eat with us. Come drink with us. Come play games with us and a celeb guest. It's going to be a really good time.

This is so good. I can't wait. Scott, you've been an absolute gem. You are. Crushed all these.

I tried. Thank you Spotify for making us be friends and bringing us together. You know what I'm saying?

Our little family. The duo you didn't know you needed. I know. So so so good. But all of Scott's links will be in the description. Super easy to find.

I am Scott Evans everywhere. You have no excuse. But other than that, until next time, guys. Bye.

Questions about this episode

Who speaks in "That's a Wrap! Ft. Scott Evans || Reddit Stories || Two Hot Takes"?

Morgan Absher (Host), Scott Evans (Guest), Lauren (Guest), Niecy Nash (Guest), Jessica Betts (Guest).

What is "That's a Wrap! Ft. Scott Evans || Reddit Stories || Two Hot Takes" about?

The discussion explores the reactions and thoughts related to a Reddit story about a woman contemplating divorce due to familial disdain. Hosts reflect on the emotional impact of the situation and speculate on the family's background and dynamics, emphasizing the importance of surrounding oneself with supportive relationships.

What is mentioned in this Two Hot Takes episode?

37 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including House Guest, House Guest, Access Hollywood, r/relationship_advice, Bioshock, Scott Evans. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "That's a Wrap! Ft. Scott Evans || Reddit Stories || Two Hot Takes"?

The episode runs 1 h 53 min; the transcript is about 22,987 words in 596 timestamped sections.

More from Two Hot Takes

About this transcript: the episode's spoken words as captioned on YouTube, split into timestamped sections. Reclip.Me locates every person, work and idea in the text, keeps the time it is first named, and quotes the words around it verbatim. Last updated January 24, 2026.