Transcript

#3122 Vanderpump Rules S12E3 Part 1: Venus Try Trap

From Watch What Crappens · Episode page · Watch on YouTube

· 53 min · 11,015 words · 154 timestamped sections

This is the full, timestamped transcript of "#3122 Vanderpump Rules S12E3 Part 1: Venus Try Trap", an episode of Watch What Crappens published December 18, 2025 (53 min, about 11,015 words). It mentions 99 people, works and ideas, including Venus, David Oscar Marcus, SUR, Demi, GMO.

What this episode is about

This content discusses the excitement surrounding Season 12, Episode 3 of "Vanderpump Rules," highlighting the hosts' growing attachment to the show's reboot. They express their enjoyment of the entertainment value provided by the episode's drama and character dynamics, describing it as a delightful escape filled with chaotic relationships and playful banter.

Key takeaways

  • Vanderpump Rules: A never-ending carousel of drama, starring delusions of grandeur and small-town escapees.
  • Lazy Susan of Awfulness: Reality TV gold where everyone shines at their worst, round and round they go.
  • From memoirs in fourth grade to Queen Bee at Sir—Venus, the self-proclaimed star born under neon signs.
  • Restaurant reality reigns supreme; petty drama loves a backdrop of plates, tips, and spilt milk.
  • Suburbia never felt so alive; being shot on rock climbs vs. the thrill of post-party photo shoots.

What is discussed, and when

  1. – 5:00: Lisa Vanderpump, Vanderpump Rules, Vanderpump Rules, Alison Roman
  2. – 10:00: Audrey, Colonial America, Shane Davis
  3. – 15:00: Angelica, David Oscar Marcus, Goat cheese empanada
  4. – 20:00: Angelica, Audrey, Ronnie, Stacey
  5. – 25:00: David Oscar Marcus, Grindr
  6. – 30:00: David Oscar Marcus, Audrey
  7. – 35:00: David Oscar Marcus, Shane Davis
  8. – 40:00: Shane Davis
  9. – 45:00: Calvin Klein, David Oscar Marcus, Fried Green Tomatoes, Tangled
  10. – 50:00: David Oscar Marcus, Fried Green Tomatoes, Lisa Vanderpump, Towanda
  11. – 52:56: Aaron McNicholas, AJ Lopez, Allison Block, Amanda Foster

Notable quotes from "#3122 Vanderpump Rules S12E3 Part 1: Venus Try Trap"

  • Good. It's Vanderpump Rules Day, so we're very excited. Monday will be our last Amazon Live. Join us at 400 p.m.
    about Lisa Vanderpump · at
  • The quotes are just so funny I wanted to read it to you but I cannot find Oh, Venus. Yes. So he was on so bad it's good with Ryan Bailey Vanderpump Rules server Venus is the…
    about So Bad It's Good with Ryan Bailey · at
  • Important feature, which is a lazy susan of awfulness because I'm Wow, Marcus and him. I'm Gh, they're toxic and awful. There, of course, they're a couple that drags everyone…
    about David Oscar Marcus · at
  • Stupid. this whole episode it's just, like a rock climbing and Shane Davis is Yeah, I got shot three times. It's What?
    about Shane Davis · at
  • Abundant bottom feeding crustaceans were once considered poverty food for the poor and prisoners in colonial America.
    about Colonial America · at
  • Doing more photo shoots and everything and they're doing a light change and stuff and now Angelica, she's the new sir host as she arrives and he's Oh, darling, look at you.…
    about Angelica · at
  • I'm still [ __ ] hot. Calvin Klein flew me out to Milan. I didn't even know how to pronounce it. I called it Mulan. God, I wanted to be in that so bad.
    about Calvin Klein · at
  • And Natalie's haven't you ever heard of Fried Green Tomatoes? And he goes, Yeah, have you seen the movie Fried Green Tomatoes? And she's No.
    about Fried Green Tomatoes · at

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

  • Venus — Person · 22 mentions
  • David Oscar Marcus — Person · 14 mentions · first at
  • Demi — Person · 7 mentions
  • GMO — Person · 6 mentions
  • Lisa Vanderpump — Person · 5 mentions · first at
  • Shane Davis — Person · 5 mentions · first at
  • Angelica — Person · 5 mentions · first at
  • Audrey — Person · 4 mentions · first at
    What? yeah. So, we open up with everyone waking up because it was just Audrey's birthday party. So, everybody's hung over and Audrey's Whoever planned this surf photo shoot for…
  • Peter Madrigal — Person · 4 mentions
  • Ronnie — Person · 2 mentions · first at
    Much that Well, hello and welcome to What's Whatins. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben over there. Hello, Balloons.
  • Dale Allison — Person · 2 mentions · first at
    On Instagram. So, do it. Do it. This week, we had Angela, Angela Roman, Allison Roman, the famous chef who I call Angela for some reason. we're just so close. I just started…
  • Ahab — Person · 2 mentions
  • Alison Roman — Person · 1 mention · first at
    On Instagram. So, do it. Do it. This week, we had Angela, Angela Roman, Allison Roman, the famous chef who I call Angela for some reason. we're just so close. I just started…
  • Ryan Bailey — Person · 1 mention · first at
    Read it to you but I cannot find Oh, Venus. Yes. So he was on so bad it's good with Ryan Bailey Vanderpump Rules server Venus is the title of the episode. Venus has a talking…
  • Stacey — Person · 1 mention · first at
    Will destroy her. Somewhere like an alarm just went off in Stacey's house. She's Oh my god, stupid [ __ ] falling in. Sir, need to drive down there. Do not drive down there.
  • Allison Block — Person · 1 mention · first at
    Its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. It's always a party on Allison Block. Our way is the Amber way. It's the Foster and the Furious.
  • Amanda Foster — Person · 1 mention · first at
    Like Allison King. It's always a party on Allison Block. Our way is the Amber way. It's the Foster and the Furious.
  • Ashley Otto — Person · 1 mention · first at
    It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly Clap.
  • Carly Clap — Person · 1 mention · first at
    It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly Clap.
  • Chrissy Off — Person · 1 mention · first at
    Get on the right foot with Chrissy Off.
  • Diane Call — Person · 1 mention · first at
    We never miss a call. It's Diane Call.
  • Dylan Clark — Person · 1 mention · first at
    Sunday in the park with Dylan Clark. Big yay. It's Emily Goautier.
  • Emily Goautier — Person · 1 mention · first at
    Sunday in the park with Dylan Clark. Big yay. It's Emily Goautier.
  • Aaron McNicholas — Person · 1 mention · first at
    Aaron McNicholas. She don't miss no trickus.
  • Heidi Eleanor Jones — Person · 1 mention · first at
    You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go. We all go for Hugo.
  • Jennifer Messer — Person · 1 mention · first at
    She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Tr.
  • Jessica Tr — Person · 1 mention · first at
    She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Tr.
  • Caroline Peacock — Person · 1 mention · first at
    She's our favorite streamer. Caroline Peacock.
  • Lacy B. — Person · 1 mention · first at
    Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a be in your bonnet with Lacy B. K. Sra. Sarra.
  • Lauren Silsby — Person · 1 mention · first at
    Whatever will be will Lauren Silsby. She gets an A from us. It's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy is Maisie Mckenry. Megan Berg.
  • Lindsay D. — Person · 1 mention · first at
    Whatever will be will Lauren Silsby. She gets an A from us. It's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy is Maisie Mckenry. Megan Berg.
  • Lisa Lino — Person · 1 mention · first at
    Whatever will be will Lauren Silsby. She gets an A from us. It's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy is Maisie Mckenry. Megan Berg.
  • Maisie Mckenry — Person · 1 mention · first at
    Gets an A from us. It's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy is Maisie Mckenry. Megan Berg.
  • Tina Desert Berg — Person · 1 mention · first at
    Gets an A from us. It's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy is Maisie Mckenry. Megan Berg.
  • Michelle Vivian — Person · 1 mention · first at
    This is living with Michelle Vivian.
  • Olivia Williamson — Person · 1 mention · first at
  • Jessa Savannah — Person · 1 mention · first at
  • Shannon Spellman — Person · 1 mention · first at
    Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman.
  • Sharon Eldridge — Person · 1 mention · first at
    Let's share with Sharon Eldridge. Darn Skippy. It's Tippy and our super premium sponsors.
  • AJ Lopez — Person · 1 mention · first at

Books & papers

Companies & orgs

  • SUR — Company · 12 mentions
  • Vanderpump Rules — Company · 5 mentions · first at
    Good. It's Vanderpump Rules Day, so we're very excited. Monday will be our last Amazon Live. Join us at 400 p.m.
  • Calvin Klein — Company · 2 mentions · first at
  • Amazon Live — Company · 1 mention · first at
    Good. It's Vanderpump Rules Day, so we're very excited. Monday will be our last Amazon Live. Join us at 400 p.m.
  • Reality Gays — Company · 1 mention · first at
    Us. you can go listen to that at crappy hour this week. And our Christmas movie with the reality gays this year will be a fourpart recap of My Secret Santa on Netflix. So…
  • My Secret Santa — Company · 1 mention · first at
    Crappy hour this week. And our Christmas movie with the reality gays this year will be a fourpart recap of My Secret Santa on Netflix. So, probably do save yourself some sanity…
  • So Bad It's Good with Ryan Bailey — Company · 1 mention · first at
  • Grindr — Company · 1 mention · first at
    The phone and you're hugging and the crying and dealing with it and like that's time you could be on Grindr that's time you could be doing anything else and instead you're…
  • Crappens — Company · 1 mention
  • Pump — Company · 1 mention
  • Skims — Company · 1 mention
  • Watch What Crappens — Company · 1 mention

Products & tech

Concepts & topics

  • Vanderpump Rules — Concept · 5 mentions · first at
    Good. It's Vanderpump Rules Day, so we're very excited. Monday will be our last Amazon Live. Join us at 400 p.m.
  • Taekwondo — Concept · 3 mentions
  • Tangled — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    To do a seagull for it, I could probably be someone in it. it's got Tangled, but I'll take any role.
  • Towanda — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    No kidding. But also I'm surprised Natalie hasn't watched it cuz she's a total Towanda. Wasn't that her name?
  • Green Gazpacho — Concept · 1 mention
  • Workers' compensation — Concept · 1 mention

Places & events

Full transcript with timestamps

What happens when there's so much? Who cares what happens when there's so much that

Well, hello and welcome to What's Whatins. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben over there. Hello, Balloons.

Hi, Ronnie. How's it going? Good. It's Vanderpump Rules Day, so we're very excited. Monday will be our last Amazon Live. Join us at 400 p.m. Pacific time on Amazon Live. You can find that link in our link in bio over on Instagram. So, do it. Do it. This week, we had Angela, Angela Roman, Allison Roman, the famous chef who I call Angela for some reason. Um, we're just so close. I just started calling her Angela. Angie for sure. Um,

it was really fun talking to her. Join us. Uh, you can go listen to that at crappy hour this week. And our Christmas movie with the reality gays this year will be a fourpart recap of My Secret Santa on Netflix. So, probably do save yourself some sanity and don't watch it, but listen to it cuz it's really fun times. And today, Vanderpump Rules season 12, episode 3, Crash Out Queens. Whoa. Whoa. I've got to say I'm I'm Last week I was like I think I like the reboot and this week I'm like I'm fully committed. I'm like in it. I I not only like it. I was like I'm actually already teetering towards love. I was so entertained by this stupid episode. It was just what I needed. Stupid back and forth about you said this and then this and then she texted this. You got like a toxic couple. You've got like you got a you know an ang say a toxic queen. I was going to say an angry gay. It just it's so silly. It's so stupid. And it's like

I'm just surprised that it's only three episodes old. I feel like I'm actually already like I feel like I'm already in it. I'm in the trenches. And I'm not saying this because I went to the Vanderpump Rules thing last week and I met some of them. I'm not influenced by that at all. I'm saying it like I I think it's just like the it's the it's it's exactly what I want and need right now and I think it's doing a great job.

Uh yeah, I'm really enjoying it as well. I'm actually trying to find this uh this article with what's his button in it? Um Venus that he was on podcast and some of the quotes are just so funny I wanted to read it to you but I cannot find Oh, Venus. Yes. So he was on so bad it's good with Ryan Bailey Vanderpump Rules server Venus um is the title of the episode. Um Venus has a talking head look. Okay. He talks about his talking head. They talk about him why he's working at Sir. Um, he said he did watch Vanderpump Rules, but he's really a fan of Vanderpump. Lisa is my queen. And I finally just grew up here and was like, I'm sending in an application and I was hired on the spot and I've been the queen bee of sir ever since. Uh, okay.

First red flag. Then he's talking about how he grew up in a town with small pastors and cows and he only had a post office and gas station, so he had to get out of there. And he says, "So, I always knew I was not meant to have this small town farm life. I just have some kids and that's about it." Like, no way. I was like, "I'm a star. I've always known I was a star. I started writing memoirs in the fourth grade."

Memoirs, multiple memoirs, multiple versions of his life. So, we've got delusional people who are already completely famous in their own mind. I mean, it's got to love it. And the show has gone back to its most important feature, which is a lazy susan of awfulness because I'm like, "Wow, Marcus and Marcus and um him." I'm like, "Gh, they're toxic and awful." There, of course, they're a couple that drags everyone into their drama and then the moment everyone gets dragged in and then you say something like, "Fuck her." And they get back together and it gets back to like her that she that you say [ __ ] her or whatever it is and then they kick you out and it's like, "Oh god, I hate those toxic couples." But then you got Venus. You're like, "Gh, but Venus is awful." And then you're like, then you're like, "Well, but Natasha, but then Natasha is awful." Like, it's like you're going back and forth. And that is

the most Vanderpumpian quality that you could have. It's just like a lazy Susan of awfulness that revolves around such low stake things that um I'm feeling very much at home.

Yeah. And one of the biggest worries was, "Oh my god, they don't work at the restaurant, blah blah blah." You know, people were saying that before, but it looks like they do actually work there. I mean, at least they have work there to work. And they're showing a lot of the restaurant stuff, which I really like, you know, just working so much of my life. I really love seeing the pettiness in the restaurant and how everybody's turning against like one person at a time. It's just so fun.

Yeah. And it doesn't feel really as performative as I was afraid it would. I felt like they are genuinely like annoyed at each other and frustrated and they're like exploding with, you know, fury. So, I'm I that's why I'm like, "This is great." And like it's just so stupid. I mean, this whole episode it's just, you know, like a rock climbing and Shane Davis is like, "Yeah, I got shot three times." It's like, "What?" It's like, this is just funny. It's just not that getting shots funny. It's just the way it's like, "Yeah, man. I got shot."

You're like this. It's It's I love this. Like, what? Um, yeah. So, we open up with everyone waking up because it was just Audrey's birthday party. So, everybody's hung over and Audrey's like, "Whoever planned this surf photo shoot for the day after my birthday is diabolical. I'm going to get revenge on them by not using any moisturizer or hair product." And I'm hung over. I'm sweaty. But you know what? I just go into sir and there's so many glamorous photos. Do they have flies on them? Yeah. But I mean, it's sir, so I'm just like, "Oh my god, am I going to be in the wallet, sir? Am I going to be on the wallet sir?

She's saying that the photos on the wallet are glamorous is also hilarious. She's like seeing these like archival photos of like Jackson and Katie and the whole cast from like 2012. She's like, "Wow, the golden age of Hollywood. I get to join the pantheon of great weight staff at SU." Now we have the um famous sir photo shoot, but this time it's done in the restaurant with the managers there and nobody's naked or in like like kind of sexual um sexually creepy outfits, which is super weird. I'm like, what show is this?

Like changed. Weho is no Weho now has black plastic bags floating along streets. Pump is closed and now we have something called HR. We still don't know what it stands for, but it's very scary. Whoo and Rascals, please report to the Hooers and Rascals department. So, GMO's handing out shirts to people and they're getting the photo shoot set up. And Camera's like, I need my skim so my waist looks snatched because the surf photo shoot is legendary. Yeah. And we see a shot of Natalie holding grapes and then Audrey's holding a lobster. I'm like, is there a lobster at the menu at Serg? I don't think there is.

Yeah. Do they have lobster there? I don't know that I would trust them with lobster. Even though the cockroach of the sea. Isn't that what they call the lobster?

Oo, lobsters are not cockroaches of the sea. Yeah, cuz they like crawl along the bottom and just eat all the trash and stuff.

Well, it doesn't crawl along I mean, look, we're, you know, I would say a crab would be more like a cockroach of the sea, but it's not that we're a shrimp. A shrimp would be not the lobster. The lobsters have a whole I mean, do they do they pee through their eyeballs? Yes. But are they the most beautiful little toddler crustaceians out there? Yes.

Um I I reject lobster. Lobster cockroach of the sea is a historical term reflecting how these abundant bottom feeding crustaceans were once considered poverty food for the poor and prisoners in colonial America.

It only became a luxury delicacy through railroads canning and culinary elevation. So there you go. They have similarities with cockroaches like hard exoskeletons and scavenging habits leading to the derogatory nickname, but the term also applies to other abundant marine life like shrimp.

Thank you. See, you called it. See, you called it cuz there's so many things that crawl along the floor. That's why there's also so many fish that like hide in the sand and then like eat them, which is hilarious. Those are

Yeah. You know what else was called a cockroach of the sea? Whales. Excuse me. That's I'm going to push back on that one. Come on.

Yeah, I'm going to push back. That's like that's like crazy. Who is Okay. What AI system are you using that's coming up with who called a whale the cockroach? Whales aren't even fish.

Um it's that's like a tiny little site I'm using called Google. Okay. Okay. Who has Okay. All right. Let me You know who you know who wrote that as a shark. Sharks hate whales. You just you know that sharks hate whales cuz sharks are like we're the best. But then whales come along and like sorry we're kind of like bigger. We're like bigger and a little bit scarier and like some of us don't even eat other fish, but we're still somehow bigger than you. And they're like, "Fuck this. We're going to call them the cockroaches of the sea cuz they're ruining our space."

I'll tell you who wrote it. Ahab. Ahab wrote bad [ __ ] The cockroach of the sea. My last words.

Dolphins did it to get at the whales. Um, that's crazy. I'm I'm horrified. Um, Natalie is like, "Wow, you know what? Like I just wanted to be in a place where like you work where everybody's like, "Oh my god, so chic. So perfect." Literally nobody says that about sir. I don't know where these people think they're working. Do no one does no one on this cast know how to look up a Yelp review because I I can tell you not one of them says that.

Yeah. Literally um the words that are associated with sir are not chic and perfect. The words are like oversized enchiladas and um dry. Please mop this restaurant. I face.

That was my review. I was like, it smells like bar rotat. Please clean this restaurant please.

Hello. Hello, everyone. I've arrived. I've arrived. I'm in casual magician form today. I'm wearing a blazer, but my shirt is open. A few buttons. Sexy is back. I remember. Oh, it's so conservative now. I remember what it used to be when we first did it years ago. Nobody had any clothes on. And we do see pictures of clips from 11 years ago with the staff being naked and holding each other's boobs and stuff and Peter's wiener flopping around over there um in

Yes. grayed out a grade out wiener, which is weird because it actually looks like that now. Hey, how come we never see Peter? I know the rumor was that he he wasn't going to do this anymore because he wasn't getting paid, but was he here?

He was on this episode. Yeah, actually he did show up. Mhm. He was like, "Ho ho ho ho. This is sure different than it used to be, guys.

He didn't say anything. A child like Peter. He didn't say anything, but he was like helping Natasha or something at the bar. But um uh but now we see that times have changed cuz GMO's like, "Do you want to remove your shirt?" At least he goes, "I mean only if you feel comfortable. You definitely will not lose your job if you keep your shirt on. You will just merely work in the back room and not be on television, but only if it makes you comfortable to take up your

I care about is the comfortability of children that work for us. Please, please stay clothed. Girl, you've never hired somebody overweight at that place in your entire life. You only hire people, especially men, who will take off their shirt. Okay? People, everybody does not walk around with six-packs like that unless they're on your staff. I worked at an Applebee's and trust nobody looked like this. No one asked us to take our clothes off. Talk about some apples.

If you don't feel comfortable, please put your shirt back on. I don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable at all. But if you want to show your beautiful nipples and six-pack, I won't stop you. And Chris says, "Last night was a bad night to eat cake." As he shows off his eight pack. Shut up.

Yeah. I hate when people do that. Stop lying. Stop trying to like relate to the people that you ate a cake. You did not eat a cake.

You did not. I like when when hot people are like, "Do you know how hard it is to be hot? Do you know how traumatizing this is? I don't eat anything. I'm starving." That's what I need to hear from hot people. Like, hey, shut up.

You know, it is necessary to keep evolving. You know, if it's a photo shoot, if it's different staff, I think that's been a secret to our longevity. That's why we keep our menu exactly the same. But now, now we have a new feature. It's small little bites that happen before the bigger bites. We call them appetizers. Yes. Evolution.

We weren't okay to stop with the goat cheese bowl. So 10 years ago, we came up with the goat cheese empanada. Sometimes we think about what's something that we would want on a deserted island and we call those desserts. Please enjoy.

We weren't happy just to have a tuna. Moo. So we made it a tuna. TA. So GMO's like, "Where is Kim coming? I want Kim. I want Kim to sit in the chair." So Kim comes in and when she walks in, Mara's like, "Hey honey, how's it going, honey?" She's like, "Honey." And everyone's like, "What?" But they were just fighting for two episodes of this of the show. Why are they being nice to each other? And Natalie's standing right behind him going, "Oh, I mean, they are so weird. Like, why are they being so cute right now? Like, I'm going to throw up like, "Hi, honey. Hi."

I mean, it's like a weird kink. Like, they literally get off on like screaming at each other. And Venus is like, "Um, I'm sorry, but are these [ __ ] like back the [ __ ] together?" Kim's like, "Um, full disclosure, Marcus and I got back together after the party last night." Yeah, if you know what I'm saying.

And he's like, "Me and Kimberly, yeah, we never had the conversation of like we're back together, but we just end up back together again." So, isn't that the beauty of being in a toxic relationship?

[clears throat] Um, is it the beauty? So, now they're doing more photo shoots and everything and they're doing a light change and stuff and now Angelica, she's the new sir host as she arrives and he's like, "Oh, darling, look at you. Innocent and sweet, as pure as the driven snow. Come in here to be corrupted and ruined by my television show. Get in here, sweetheart. I didn't know if you were coming." Of course, I'm coming. Of course I am. I'm so glad to be here, Lisa. I like, oh no, this girl's so positive. Do you think she's going to cry a lot?

Yes. She'll be destroyed. She'll be ground to a pulp. Oh, you look what? You look great. I want you to come meet the staff and just sit in for a picture. Okay. GMO, get the banana peel ready. Okay, come on in.

So, she goes in. All the staff is sitting there in their ball gowns and uh looking right at her. And she comes in, she's like, "Hi." and then falls right on her face. Like trips over her camera or something.

Oh, I had to hire Angelica right on the spot. She's gorgeous. She's lovable. She's flexible. She put her ankle behind her head right in the interview. Oh god.

She kind of did because we see a flashback to her interview and she's like, "Yeah, I did te taekwond do for about 10 years and I was a national champion. Do you want to see a move? I could probably do this." and she kicks like like a light bulb out of the ceiling or something like that. Oh yes, Taekwond do a skill set that's absolutely unnecessary and waiting and serving. You're hired. [clears throat] She has charm just oozing out of her paws. Oh god, that's not the only thing that's going to be oozing out of her after a couple of months at this place. Am I right? Get it?

Now remind me when you won your national championship in Taekwond do what was the part where you gathered menus and said right this way

it's time for a commercial it's time for a crapens commercial. So she stands up and Lisa's like wow that was a good entrance. She's like, I'm trying to lift my leg as high as I possibly can, but these heels are like so big. Okay, maybe my not my ideal first impression, but I feel like it really grounded me in a way.

Are you sure? You're okay, Angelica. Did you hurt yourself? Do you need to see? We are so involved now. We care. Please only take off your panties for this if you feel comfortable.

[clears throat] She goes, she goes, "Well, I don't think it really I don't think it really requires workers comps, so I think I'm okay." She's like, "Oh, good. I don't understand what that is. Workers don't get comps here. You have to pay for fair." Darling, yes. As I told you in your interview, workers are complimentary. You're here for the Instagram likes.

So, she says, "Oh, maybe I worked like maybe this worked in my favor because like now people are going to be like really nice to me, right? Cuz like who's going to be mean to the girl that just like ate [ __ ] I'm like literally all of them. They're like, "Oh, she's weak. We will destroy her."

Somewhere like an alarm just went off in Stacey's house. She's like, "Oh my god, stupid [ __ ] falling in." Sir, need to drive down there. Do not drive down there.

Yeah. When you hear a bell, it means a new server fell over in front of the team at Sir.

Every time you hear a bell ring, a new waitress just lost her badge. So, uh, Angelica is like, "Oh my god, what a great way to meet people. Am I right, guys?" And they're like, "Wow, you look so beautiful." And Josh goes, "Yeah, what an entrance. I almost wanted to catch her." [gasps] At which point, Ronnie left through the TV was like, "You get out of here, you little [ __ ] He's mine." Falling down. I just fell down off my couch like, "Help!

Help me, Josh. Help me." All right. Okay. Sit down there. No, no one will get jealous of you. We don't like jealous people. So, Angelica, new girl who no one's ever met before and has no history, please take the center spot in this photograph.

I know. Move over. Move over, Kim. She literally made Kim move over so that the new girl could take the center spot. And I was like, uhoh. Uhoh. Look sexy and welcoming. Try it, Kim. Now, Kim, I know you don't understand the concept of welcoming, but what you do is you sort of smile. But yes, a smile. A smile. Okay, let me start from the beginning. A smile is when you take the edges of your lips and you move them upwards. You can do it, Kim. Try it, Kim. You're almost there. No, she can't smile. She doesn't know how to do it.

Put her in the back. Okay, guys. We've done the photo shoot and now we're going back to the uniform. Okay. I'm GMO. Ooh, smolder. Smolder. Yes. All right. Please, on your way out, as everybody passes me, please say I pledge allegiance to Nicolain. Okay. Very good. You can go. You can go. You can go.

So Chris and Audrey start to flirt. Chris is like, "Yeah, you were working." She's like, "Always working. I mean, you were pulling out all the moves." And then Jason's like, "Yeah, you were." If I if I had spoken first, I would have said you pulled out the moves, but he said it first, so I'm just going to say you you were.

Yeah. Not all the moves though. Like y'all pulled on me last night. Remember when you guys gave me strip tease last night, guys? Remember? Huh? And then we just flash back to her getting the strip teeth and be like, "Oh my god." I loved it. So she's like, "Yeah, Chris is like really different from the other guys I've dated." I mean, he has like a decade on me, okay? Like that's 10 years. Cuz he has 10 years above when I was even born. Like a decade. So he probably had one of those Blackberries that like you slide open and he thought it was like the coolest thing ever. and he just like vigorously typed on it like with his thumbs and he was like, "Yeah, like checking out girls through his phone." Okay, I hate to sound like the grandfather that I am, but those were called T-Mobile sidekicks. How dare you?

I know. Thank you. And I had one and it was amazing. He He probably had like a crank on his cell phone just to power it, right? So, Venus is like, "Um, now guys, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Sorry. In the middle of this conversation, I need to check my emails." That's right. I get them on my phone. You guys, it's time to renew my AOL account. Excuse me. I can do that right on my phone. Sorry, what were you saying? So, uh, Venus is like, "Hey, Marcus, can I talk to you for a second?" He's like, "Yeah, what's on your mind?" "Well, just about last night. It's just like a recap of what a typical night is." And then today, like making out in the [ __ ] photo, like, "So, what changed between last night and today?" He's like, "Um, we made up last night. There wasn't a lot of talking."

I mean, lips were moving, if you know what I'm saying. What I'm trying to say is I put my penis in her vagina. Are you following any of this? Come on, Venus, keep up.

And Venus is falling into that trap as the gay friend who gets mad when people get back together. And I know that sounds random, but that is the thing because gay guys are always trapped, right? Like especially when you're friends with both. And I think this is a general trap for people, but I think gay people fall more in this trap because we don't have as many people to date. So when especially when you're younger and immature and it's like okay well so we're friends I'm going to listen to all your [ __ ] but now you're back together with him and now I don't get to spend any time with you. It's

Mhm. I don't know. I'm sure it's like an everybody thing. But I just recognize that as like being the only gay guy at work. Like what the [ __ ] man? Like everyone else has people to talk like I'm the one who always has to listen to this [ __ ] But I think it's extremely immature and it's so weird to be mad at people for getting back together. What do you think? it. Um I think it's great to get mad at people for getting back together if they're toxic.

Well, no, but like from out from where we sit. I think what I think like when you're young, you don't realize that you just have to let people just fall into their own [ __ ] you know, and you feel like you can actually change things. And what what happens is is as a gay, you're often put in the sidekick position where when travesties happen like a breakup, you know, especially the like it's usually usually it's the it's the girl because of, you know, just guys are scared of gay people a lot, but like these days things are modern, so that's nice to see.

Usually agree with girls, you know. Yeah. But like usually it's like someone comes to us as the gay person who's like, "Oh my god, like you would not even believe he's just so awful. He's so mean. He doesn't even consider me." and they they tell you all these things and then you you want to help your friend and you have a vision for your friend and that vision is look I love you both but you're toxic together you need to start doing your own separate things and you can just move on and then we can all be happy and you start you have this plan it's going to be amazing and then you invest all this time and hours on the phone and you're hugging and the crying and dealing with it and like that's time you could be on Grindr that's time you could be doing anything else and instead you're doing this and then after you put in all that effort and you've you have a plan you've got the bullet points, you know what? Step

one, step two, step three, phase one, phase three. They just get back together. No, but what about all that work? What about all that time? And you get so annoyed and you're like, "What the [ __ ] What the [ __ ] We had a plan. We had a dream. We We saw what the future was going to be like."

Yeah. He's like, "I taught you about the secret. Like, I talked to you about manifesting. How could you?"

Yeah. Um, but yeah, he's like too far. And the thing isn't it's her fault for being It's not their fault. Look, it is their fault for being toxic. But what I'm saying is in this situation to me, it's not the problem that they're a toxic relationship and that you spent all this time listening to it. The problem is you spending all the time listening to it. And that's the change that needs to be made. You're you're not the We don't have to be in that position where we're like the sidekick listening to everybody's drama all the time. I think we kind of put ourselves in that position and it's time to just not be that person because this is ridiculous.

Like actually fighting with someone because they got back together and they're happy is crazy to me. Like I think he's coming off as completely crazy now. I wouldn't want to listen to their horseshit either, but I just wouldn't listen to it rather than root for them to break up all the time.

Well, I don't know if they got back together and are happy. They're just saying that they're happy because they're two broken individuals. So, Venus is like, "Yeah, their relationship is like one of the most toxic relationships I've ever seen in my entire life, which is why I like to embed myself entirely into their into their into their duo. That's why we're a trio, cuz I like to be around toxic people." And it's extremely offensive to me that my night at Audrey's birthday, I'm holding Kim crying, comforting her, which is what I've done a million [ __ ] times since they started dating, and then the next day like nothing [ __ ] happened. I mean, yeah, but that's an interesting memory of the history because you were spending that you were spending that birthday trying to get Marcus to go in a stand up for Natalie, actually, as I recall.

So, um, yeah, I don't know. you're remembering this in a funny way, but he's very pissed off and he's like, "You put me in a position." He's got like the la lips. I think he's going for like the new la of this cast

and it's working cuz he's even got like the lips and stuff. And so Marcus is like, "I didn't put you in any position when you say things in front." And she's like, "Yes, you did. Yes, you did. I was up till 3:00 a.m. last night. Okay. Okay. I could have been that time concentrating on a parking space for today, but instead I was working with you and your girlfriend." And he's like, "Nothing to do with me." He goes, "Yeah, I was dealing with [ __ ] because of the drama that you're always in." And then like the next day you and Kim, like nothing happened. It's like so convenient for you when everyone else is affected by it. It's like, "Well, good.

Good for us. It has nothing to do with you. So stop getting involved with [ __ ] that ain't got nothing to do with you." Which he's right. I mean, ultimately, if you're angry at Kim for going back over and over and over again to a guy who's toxic, you got to look inward and say, "Why am I going back to this couple that's toxic over and over and over again and getting myself embroiled in their situation? Just let her cry on the curb like everyone else and enjoy a bacon wrapped hot dog."

Exact. So, he's like, "Yeah, um, so quit involving everyone by doing it in front of everybody." And he's like, "Well, I didn't involve you. You were trying to be involved last night and I didn't say a single word to you." And that's true because he was running around trying to be involved on everybody's side like, "Well, now I need to have a talk with you and I need to have a talk with you and now I need to have a talk with you. So, stop doing that." Okay,

Mark. But then at the same time, let's not let the toxic couple off the hook because episodes are what you say. They're awful. And you see Natalie being like,

she's like, "Gh, you know what? This is what he deserves. He he deserves to get suspended. It's like how many times I have to tell him, right, guys?" And she's sitting there talking everyone's ear off like they've heard it a million times from her like no one cares. And she's going around asking for advice, asking for help, crying at the party. This is what he does to me. This is what he always does to me. I'm just like, can you believe he did that to me? And oh my god, he just said he's falling out of love with me and now like he's like not falling out of love with me. Like Natalie, can you believe it? And he's going around being like, I just can't even deal with it. Like I'm falling like they bo they pollute the entire party with their [ __ ]

That's true. And then they act surprised that people want to weigh in or have opinions about it.

Yeah, that's true. That's true, too. And Kim is not only toxic in that relationship, she's just toxic in general. I mean, she's toxic with everybody. Like, she doesn't know Natalie, so she's going to go poison the new girl against Natalie. And she doesn't like him now, so she's going to do what she does to him. I mean, she's just kind of gross, you know?

I agree. In general, I guess this specific thing, I'm just saying like stop involving yourself with crazy people and then getting mad that they're crazy, you know?

Absolutely. Lazy Susan. lazy season of awfulness has it's like I'm talking to myself watching this show, right? I'm like, "What are you getting so mad about? You're watching this on purpose, you know?" And it is it is that because I love the toxicity. Like I'd love to I'm never going to yell at somebody for being toxic. I'll be like, "Why didn't you call me when you were in a toxic mood?"

Well, on the on the on the topic of inserting yourself, here comes Natalie while Venus and Marcus are bickering. And Natalie's like, "Um, I think I need to step in here because the whole root of the problem is that he said she said between you and I and then you walked away last night." And Mark is like, "Uh, I'm not gonna have the same conversation a 100 times." No, but we never even talked about it cuz our conversations have been like we are like good friends. Like for me, like you've been like my good friend and like Kimberly is my good friend and Demi like she's my good friend and Venus is like my good friend and I would like to leave it at that but like no one else does.

He's like uh yeah, not my problem but also that's not what they're talking about. So stop trying to make everything about you too, airs sucker. It's like, yeah, but like you need to say to your girlfriend and Demi like Natalie is my friend and that's what I need from you. Like everybody needs to know that cuz like I'm a friend, right? Right, guys? Right. Like I'm a friend. Everybody knows that.

Yeah. Uh I'm always going to have Kimberly's side, especially when I say I'm falling out of love with her and I can't stand her [ __ ] face and I need to like need to have some space and break up with her. I'm always going to have her [ __ ] side.

Yeah. And you should though. But you should though. Okay. Okay. And then Kim's like, "Okay, now I need to step in, too, cuz I want to clarify things."

This is when I was just cracking up. I was like, "See, this show is actually like I was like, "This show is good." Cuz they are now all latching themselves on to this. Like each one of them, it's like it's like a it's gravitational pull. They just all add on to the stupid argument.

Yeah. And she's like, "Well, I want to clarify cuz I think things are getting misconstrued cuz I felt like if there was a boundary crossed for me personally with the way that you were texting him." Okay, Natalie. So, that's it. And she's like, Are you kidding me? Cuz like, didn't we have to solve the problems that we were having last night? Cuz like I thought we did. And so we see how last night like Kim was crying in Natalie's arms and and everything. And Natalie was there like consoling her. And Natalie then's like, "You know, all that's changed in the last 16 hours is that Kim and Marcus, Kim and Marcus are like back together again. That's the only thing that's changed." I'm like, "Well, that's a pretty big thing that changed." And Kim says, "In that moment, I didn't know who to turn to and she was there." And I think that that that's what it was for me. Like rather than me missing her as a

friend, I was like, "Oh, so you're a shitty person. You're just a shitty shitty person.

You're just a shitty garbage person." Yeah. She's like, "I was just using her, so what's the big deal?"

Yeah. I never said she was off the hook. I just like needed a vessel to pour my tears into and she was there. But like hate her still.

Oh yeah. Okay. So then Marcus and Demi can hang out and go one-on-one to and go to lunch and that's okay. And Kim goes, "Yeah, cuz they're like a different kind of friend. Take that." And so then um Natalie and Demi see them from like arguing. Not not Tally and Demi. So Demi sees it. And so now Demiy's going to come over and Natalie's like, "Uh, I don't know if we I I I think we should be finishing the photo shoot." Like and Demiy's like, "No, I've got something to say." So Demi walks over to this fight now. She's like, "You guys, Natalie wants to finish the photo shoot and I keep hearing my name." It's like her name was said once, but she's like, "I keep hearing my name." And I'm like, "I'm already bored with this." Okay. So, like, who wants to fight with me now?

Yeah, but all I've said is that you're my friend. It's like um I don't want to hear you say my name today. So, just like don't say it. Even if you're saying it like in a good way, like I do not want to hear it. Like, I'm so sick.

That's your problem. No. Sound of your voice. That's my problem. Like after last night, like your voice. Ouch.

Why are you being so rude? Cuz I feel like it. Cuz I feel like it. What about that? Assistant manager. Merry ketchup. I said it. Cuz I feel like it. I'm I'm like hungry.

Don't be a [ __ ] Okay. How about you? Finish a photo shoot. So maybe you shouldn't tell me not to be a [ __ ] at work cuz like I'm a boss. Okay.

I can't apologize anymore. You're [ __ ] all the time. Maybe you should. Maybe you should stop though. Maybe you should.

Okay. You know what? I was [ __ ] for one night. Sorry. Hold on. Hold on. Hold [clears throat] on. Now. Wait a second. I know what you're doing right now, but stop it. Stop it. We've got a photo shoot. Please stop creating drama on this highly rated dramatic television show. Please go ahead. Do it without your shirts on if you're comfortable. Do you need to take a break, Natalie? Maybe speak to HR hooligans and rascals. Well, I'm trying to be professional. She's not making it easy, Lisa. cuz like she needs to leave me alone cuz like I'm literally shaking right now. Darling, Ken has been literally shaking for 25 years. He still managed to carry the dog across the restaurant on quue. So please get back to work.

She needs to like leave me alone, Lisa, for at least like one day. Just like leave me alone.

Oh, I'll talk to you tomorrow about it today. The harassment continues tomorrow. We'll deal with it.

I'm so tired of being treated like ship and my friends. This is Natalie complaining in the background. He's just going off

about She got herself angry about a fight that she wasn't even in. Yeah. So, now we go to a rock climbing place and Shane goes up to the front desk and he's like, "Hey, can I some shoes off you guys? I'm Shane Davis." Shane Davis. You mind written down somewhere? You will soon. Hey, can I just tell you I've got beautiful eyes?

We forgot. We didn't notice that he said that last week. He when he was flirting with a girl. I guess Natalie's like, "Hey, just have to tell you I've got beautiful eyes." So Natalie Natalie shows up and she's like, "Oh my god, Shane Davis, are you trying to kill me? This is crazy. Rock climbing

and he's doing it without the ropes." He's like, "Yeah, just rock climbing without the ropes." Yeah, I'm Shane Davis. That's pretty much how I roll. Danger. I'm no stranger to danger. Okay. He's like, "Yeah, I'm here. Yeah, I'm like pretty used to like rock climbing. I met Natalie a month ago and like the fieriness to her, it's like very intriguing to me. So, she's like, "Sorry, we got off on the wrong foot when I told you that I didn't like you coming to to my workplace with another girl and you did it anyway." She goes, "But at the same time, like I feel connection. It's like undeniable. Like, we're both cute. We're both single. We're both like a little bit [ __ ] up. I mean, geez. I guess we're gonna rock climb. That sounds like

we're both [ __ ] up. Let's climb some rocks man. So, um, that he gets like in the harness and everything. And he's like, "Hey, you got my phone. I'm going to take some sweet photos when I get to the top of this wall."

And she's not into rock climbing at all, obviously. And he's like, "Well, I think rock climbing is like the perfect date for me cuz she's like getting a sneak peek in my lifestyle cuz when I'm out modeling, I'm a personal trainer. So, I'm like very active. Like, I climb things and that's just it. Like, you want to join my life of climbing stuff? Great. If not, say sucker. Shane Davis.

Look at this very intense look into the inner workings, the inner life of Shane Davis as he climbs a rock. Natalie,

I like guys who are like, not only am I gorgeous, I work out a lot. Get used to it.

And Natalie is like, um, she does not want to do this, but she's like, come on, Shane, just help me help you get me naked somewhere. Do we have to do this? So, they start climbing and she's like, um, my nails are too long for this. I just realized. And the employees like, yeah, that's Yeah, you shouldn't have done You shouldn't have come here today.

You're killing it, man. You know, my friends would probably describe me as a player with a heart of gold and I'm honest and I'm caring and like I'm compassionate, but if and if I feel nurtured and cared for and I feel safe, that's like crack to me, man. Yeah, crack. Safety. Safety is crack, guys. Emotional safety. Yeah, I'm an evolved guy, but I also work out a lot and I'm a model. Shane Davis. Uh, and so then uh Natalie they Natalie he takes a picture of her and she goes up and then she's like, "Oh my god, coming down was scary." He's like, "Yeah, I want to do this black wall."

Okay, I'm going to do it. Okay, take a picture of me when I get to the top, man. Okay, take a photo of me and my my most vulnerable state of this rock wall. Okay, well, I'm going to have to use your phone cuz I don't know where my phone is. He's like, "Okay, don't go snooping around, though." She goes, "Yeah, is it like screenshots of my Instagram?" Maybe. So, um, she's like, "I do like Shane a lot, and I feel like it's this really could go somewhere like literally to the top of a wall. And he literally is like the epitome of my physical type, but I also don't want to make the same mistake that I made before of just like jumping into a relationship when I've only been single for a few months. Like, I'm a crazy [ __ ] That's me."

[singing] So they rock climb and stuff and um he's like uh yeah, you know that uh you got to get one. Yeah, I'm posing. I'm posing for the camera.

He like basically flexes. Yeah, he flexes his arm at the top of the wall. She's like, "Wow, that's so that's so vulnerable." He goes, "Yeah, it looks vulnerable." Yeah,

they literally say that he flexed his arm at the top of a rock wall cuz goes, "That was so vulnerable of you. That was so vulnerable."

He's like, "You want to hit one? You want to hit one more? You want to like chill for a bit? Like, let's let's take a little breather. Let's let's get deep together." Okay. I don't know if I've told you this, but like deep in my heart, I'm a person who works out. Hope that's okay for you. It's like a deal breaker for me.

Well, guess what? Now that you're back down on the floor, here's your phone back. And that was like really special. I gave you your my you know your phone back because I had back surgery once. He's like, "Oh yeah, I saw it." What? I mean, no, tell me about it. He literally says, "I saw it. I saw your

I guess he did mean he went through her Instagram." She's like, "Yeah, I love your I love your back surgery stories. Those are like so real." And she's she tells us that she had scoliosis as a kid, so she had to wear a back brace. I mean, hi, nice to meet you. I'm Natalie. My spine was like this. not the cutest look. Okay. But you know, and he goes, "Well, you probably developed a lot of perseverance from that shit." She's like, "Yeah, especially because they like make you stand up and walk the very next day." So my spine is like still not straight. Like they can, wait, can I see it? And so she's like, "Yeah, look, look. They can only do so much. Like look at this. Look at my spine. It like protrudes." He's like, "Wow, man. That's awesome."

She's like, "Yeah, I look like dainty, but I have like 24 screws in my back." And like it's like not my favorite thing about myself, but it is what it is. I'm just like used to it. And if I'm ever cremated, someone needs to warn them cuz they're going to take me out. It's going to be like a lot of hardware. But there's like 24 people that can have a piece of me when I'm no longer here. And I think that's like actually very beautiful guys. There's going to be like 24 people in this world who'll be able to like use my screws. And that's just like a beautiful thing to be able to get back that way.

I just love the idea of different family members walking around. Like every time I look at the screw, I think of Natalie.

I miss you, girl. I miss you, girl. So then Shane is going to now one up her. He's like, "Yeah, I broke my back, too, man. Like when I was like 19 years old, I got shot three times and one of the bullets blew out the left lung and it just like popped out right here. Right where my beautiful pec is." Yeah. Check that out. You want to know why? You know why I did that? Because, you know, my best friend, he shot me cuz I got this modeling contract. You know the classic get a modeling contract, get shot three times because of it. You know how it goes.

Oldest story in the book. Wait, so this story, so I get a modeling contract. I tell my buddies I'm about to move and my best friend hits me up and he's like, I need your help. So my best friend in me got into a fight with a group of guys. So it's like, so your best friend didn't shoot you or did he shoot you? Was he trying to shoot the other guys and he shot Shane instead?

Yes, I think so. cuz he says he got stabbed and I tried to tackle the guy and stab him and then the same time like he just went like this. He was like and I got shot which is why I put some band-aid tattoos on my body. Jeez. He's like I was paralyzed but I learned how to walk in three months. That's right. And I walked back in that modeling agency and I said, "Hey [ __ ] you still want to take me?" And they were like, "God, you're gorgeous. Do you work out?" And I was like, "Yeah, I do." And they're like, "We're compatible."

And that was my most vulnerable moment with casting directors. I [ __ ] them all. I [ __ ] all of the casting directors. And I shot them all over the face. His story is, "Yeah, man. I got shot. I was paralyzed. I rehabbed myself back. And I was still hot. Still got it, man. I'm still [ __ ] hot. Calvin Klein flew me out to Milan. I didn't even know how to pronounce it. I called it Mulan. God, I wanted to be in that so bad."

You know, the other guys can be like, uh, live action Mulan. If you guys want to do a seagull for it, I I could probably be someone in it. I mean, it's got Tangled, but I'll take any role.

Yeah. And so, I got band-aid tattoos all over the entry and exit wounds just cuz I don't want to take my life super serious. It did hurt getting one over my butthole, but technically that is an exit wound, so I let him do it.

I don't want to look at life like I'm a victim. I mean, you were shot three times. You were literally a victim. you were literally a victim, so it's okay if you do that.

We we'll allow you to have that one. It's okay. You don't have to be that defensive about it. Um she's like, I don't want to look at life like I'm a victim, although I will use it to get a girl in bed.

He's like, yeah, sometimes using the gunshot wounds is a lure. Like I know she can't help on a primal level, but like she's a little turned on. I've been shot three times. Works every [ __ ] time.

What? That's a that is, you know, it's such a it's actually a very scary story, but it's also such a stupid story. It's like your friend like what are you, first of all, are you in like Westside Story? You like signed a modeling contract and your friend's like, "Wait a second. I got I'm I've got to help me out. I'm going to get into a fight." So, he goes to like a knife fight, but then there's guns. Like, where was what are you doing? And if you're in the middle about to you just signed a modeling contract, why are you going to go like step into a street fight somewhere? It just was so wild. all these models like meeting up and group getting into group fights with guns and knives. Like do models do that? I would think that if you're a girl you're all because I'm I'm imagining that they're fighting other models right?

You know, and they're like, "Yeah, we got a gun. I got a gun. I'm a model with the gun." Then they started fighting over like Calvin Klein contracts and then it turns into a It's just a crazy story. What the hell? You would think if you were models you'd be fighting with like foam swords, you know what I mean? Cuz you don't want to hurt your faces. It's like the battle of like Willamina versus Ford. It's like it's I I just love the idea of this. Like I mean I'm sure it was like not a model fight, but I'm like with you. All I do is I just imagine a bunch of models like having some sort of like catwalk moment and that's like that's like their fight.

Yeah, it's crazy. So then we go to Sir and um there's Peter. He's helping Chris muddle. He's like, "This is how you muddle, son. Okay, can you explain to me what Green Gpacho is because like I don't get it." And Natalie's like, "Um, haven't you ever heard of Fried Green Tomatoes?" And he goes, "Yeah, I mean, have you seen the movie Fried Green Tomatoes?" And she's like, "No." He's like, "Yeah, well, the boyfriend gets run over by a train, so spoiler alert." Anyways,

and then um Marcus is uh checking with Kim about some asparagus. Um, actually, it's at their apartment. They're checking bad asparagus and he's like, "I got to be honest. When we're not fighting, it's like perfect." You know what I mean? It's like we're so loving there's like no red flags. Like I love you. I'm like that's a big qualification. When we're not fighting there's no red flags. I'm like but when you are fighting that's isn't that the red flag? Like I don't think you can just cut out the fighting and be like everything like you know our relationship is great except for the fact when we're fighting and we are breaking up all the time but when we're not like that's that's really a wonderful relationship. I'm like but you can't that's that's too important. You can't do that.

Yeah. Um so um is this what he was telling Natalie? That's what he was telling Natalie at home like cross cutting between them at home and then at sir and everything and then Venus is Ben Venus is serving a table after he uh has given the download about Fried Green Tomatoes which Fried Green Tomatoes must feel like you know a Buster Katon movie to these kids. Like what?

No kidding. But also I'm surprised Natalie hasn't watched it cuz she's a total Towanda. Wasn't that her name? Towanda. When Kathy Bates like finally gets mad and like crashes into the sexy girl's car who bullied her in the parking lot and SHE'S LIKE, "I'M TOWANDA." AND GOES CRAZY AND she's like, "I'm I'm going to sue you." And she goes, "Oh, honey, you may be young, but I'm old and I've got insurance."

It's a classic moment. Good movie. So, um, Venus is like he's serving a table, but he checks his phone and there's a text from Marcus. So then he texts Marcus. He texts Marcus back and Venus is like, "Hey Natalie, when you have two seconds, will you come with me? I so I can show you some dumb shit." She's like, "Oh, absolutely. Serge, don't do I didn't take it. Do it." Okay. So they go to the back. He's like, "I want to show you this text message from Marcus." Okay, [ __ ] Look at this. Look what he wrote. Okay. So Marcus wrote a text message that said, "Hey, dude. I've just seen a side of you that I really want nothing to do with and I can't respect it and I don't want to be fake and act like we're cool, so no need to pretend like we are. Oh my god.

Yeah. And I just like sat there for like 2 seconds to type this response. I was like, Marcus, you literally look like a dumbass and so does Kim. And I'm behaving out of retaliation towards your stupidity and the fact that you and Kim don't give a [ __ ] about anyone but yourselves and I don't want to hear about your clown ass relationship from you or Kim. Y'all just look stupid as [ __ ] There, I said it.

I personally feel so betrayed because I have held Kim when she cried a million times. And then we see a flashback of like him doing that.

Yeah. Kim being like, Marcus is like so typical Marcus like you need to be active about this cuz this behavior will age you, girl. So, uh, he's like, yeah, I've been there a million times. And then we see a flashback to him being there for Marcus. So Marcos is like, "I'm going home after what I've done and I'm going to get ruined by Kimberly for defending Natalie." He's like, "Okay, I get it. I know. I know, bro." So back in the present, he's like, "Yeah." So for the first time, I'm like fed up and I'm like, "Fuck this [ __ ] I'm like [ __ ] done." And like you push me to my [ __ ] limit and then you're going to make me out to be the bad guy. You haven't even seen me piss yet. Oh, you haven't even seen it.

And Natalie is like, "This is crazy cuz you're just giving your honest opinion." So now we go back over to the Kim and Marcus um at their apartment looking at you know asparagus and Kim is likein tiny little apartment kitchen and Kim is holding like a knife as big as the kitchen just waving it out.

I know. And they're like strangely like they're they're a living room that just has like a white like decrepit sofa in it and nothing on the walls. And she's like the thing that he said in those texts are unforgivable. He's obviously hared these feelings and just now feels like it's an opportunity to say it because like you just don't feel those things overnight. Like he's been feeling them for a long time. He's like, "Yeah, and like he's coming at a relationship." He said, "You and Kimberly are a joke. Can you even believe that?" Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah. And I can't believe he was like talking about you like that, like calling you a joke. I mean, what that? She's like, "Yeah, so hurtful." And so he says that he takes accountability that he texted Venus first. But when he sent me back like what he sent me back like now that's starting a problem. No, you texted him and you're not friends anymore. So you

started it sir. But this guy has like this guy has had to receive all your like all all your drama and he's tried to support you both and tried to help you both and now like the moment you guys get together you're just like oh actually I don't think we're friends anymore because I didn't like that you were frustrated by us so by you're not our friends and so he writes back obviously a very catty text which wasn't great but like Marcus you started this. Marcus literally started this. You can't be like I admit I did write the first text but his text was worse so he really started it. No,

but you know what? It's really hard for me to be on Venus's side cuz I really don't like Venus going up to women and being like, "Bitch, bitch," and like acting like he's going to beat up a woman and calling her [ __ ] Like,

listen, I mean, there is like gay slang like [ __ ] And Lord knows on this show where, you know, we say [ __ ] It's not like you can never say the word [ __ ] but like going after women and calling them [ __ ] and acting like you're going to get in a fight is just a horrible look. And he does it all the time. and it's gross. And so I can't be on his side because he just seems like

gross to me. So I won't be on his side for right now. So I'm not going to be on Kim's side or Marcus' side either. But it puts me in a conundrum. But then again, this is Vanderpump rules and so I'm just going to not be on anybody's side. But for right now, Venus is grossing me out the most in this situation. Hey everyone, this is the end of part one of this recap. For part two, keep an eye on your podcast feed. It is coming up in just a moment. Thanks so much for listening. Catch you on the second half. Watch what crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. It's always a party on Allison Block. Our way is the Amber way. It's the Foster and the Furious.

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Questions about this episode

What is "#3122 Vanderpump Rules S12E3 Part 1: Venus Try Trap" about?

This content discusses the excitement surrounding Season 12, Episode 3 of "Vanderpump Rules," highlighting the hosts' growing attachment to the show's reboot. They express their enjoyment of the entertainment value provided by the episode's drama and character dynamics, describing it as a delightful escape filled with chaotic relationships and playful banter.

What is mentioned in this Watch What Crappens episode?

99 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Venus, David Oscar Marcus, SUR, Demi, GMO, Lisa Vanderpump. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "#3122 Vanderpump Rules S12E3 Part 1: Venus Try Trap"?

The episode runs 53 min; the transcript is about 11,015 words in 154 timestamped sections.

More from Watch What Crappens

About this transcript: the episode's spoken words as captioned on YouTube, split into timestamped sections. Reclip.Me locates every person, work and idea in the text, keeps the time it is first named, and quotes the words around it verbatim. Last updated December 19, 2025.