Below Deck Med S10E12: Kizz and Tell

What is discussed, and when

1. 0:00 – 10:00: Below Deck Med, Elizabeth Rome, Jeff Lewis, Sirius XM
2. 10:00 – 20:00: America's Cup, Below Deck Med
3. 20:00 – 30:00: America's Cup
4. 40:00 – 50:00: Kizzy Kitchener

Notable quotes from "Below Deck Med S10E12: Kizz and Tell"

• [snorts] welcome to your podcast, Ronnie. We are here today to talk about Below Deck Med.

  about Below Deck Med · at 0:55

• Well, we I missed you because this morning I also went on to Jeff Lewis's show on Sirius XM. So, thank go listen to that if you missed that one.

  about Jeff Lewis · at 2:10

• Thanks. I had a croissant afterwards. I you know the Sirius XM is right next to Tartine. So I was like I always act like I just came out of the dentist office. I'm like well I deserve a croissant after being on the radio.

  about Tartine · at 3:25

• Up in the air like and she's Okay, well listen, this is America's Cup and our original marina is full for the rest of the season. So, we got to go to the new one, but it's more…

  about America's Cup · at 15:55

• Between her like as a therapist and then her as a patient. She's Welcome to therapy, Kizzy Kitchener. I'm your therapist, Kizzy Kitchener. By the way, I didn't realize her last…

  about Kizzy Kitchener · at 40:04

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

• Jeffrey – Pagano, Joe — Person · 8 mentions
• ALEXANDRA V — Person · 4 mentions
• Asia — Person · 4 mentions
• Jeff Lewis — Person · 2 mentions · first at 2:12
• Elizabeth Rome — Person · 2 mentions · first at 2:20
  In your place was actress Elizabeth Rome. So, she held down the fort even without my beautiful Rhonda there. But check out she's awesome. She's so cool. She's.
• Kizzy Kitchener — Person · 2 mentions · first at 40:08
• Ben Mandelker — Person · 1 mention · first at 0:30
  Hello and welcome to Watch What Crapins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the hilarious and glorious and just beautifully stubbly Ronnie Carum. How are you?
• Ronnie Carum — Person · 1 mention · first at 0:39
  Mandelker and joining me today is the hilarious and glorious and just beautifully stubbly Ronnie Carum. How are you?
• Alison Roman — Person · 1 mention · first at 1:06
  That, thanks to everyone who showed up to our various live things yesterday, including the ineitable Allison Roman.

Companies & orgs

• Sirius XM — Company · 2 mentions · first at 2:15
  Well, we I missed you because this morning I also went on to Jeff Lewis's show on Sirius XM. So, thank go listen to that if you missed that one.
• Tartine — Company · 1 mention · first at 3:29

Concepts & topics

• Below Deck Med — Concept · 3 mentions · first at 0:58
• America's Cup — Concept · 3 mentions · first at 16:00

Full transcript with timestamps

0:08 Welcome to Watch What Crappins. To get our videos as soon as they're released instead of waiting for a week, head over to our Patreon. That's also where you'll find our bonus episodes and our Discord community. We love you guys. Hello and welcome to Watch What Crapins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the hilarious and glorious and just beautifully stubbly Ronnie Carum. How are you?

0:42 Well, hello. How are you doing, Ben? Look at that sexy afternoon shade. What's it called? Afternoon shade.

0:50 5:00 shadow. 5:00 shadow. Yeah, [snorts] welcome to your podcast, Ronnie. We are here today to talk about Below Deck Med. What an episode. Um, before we dive into that, thanks to everyone who showed up to our various live things yesterday, including the ineitable Allison Roman. That was so cool that Allison Roman came and dropped by Crappy Hour, our last one of the year. If you missed it, don't worry. It's it's it's here. It's going to be it's on our feed if it's not already, and it's on YouTube, so go check it out. And in the new year, join us for future crappy hours and then also join us on Patreon.

1:27 patreon.com/watchwatchcrains, weekly bonus episodes, um video, Discord community, all that great stuff. So, thanks everyone who supports us over there. Thanks everyone who comes to watch to the the crappy hour. Thanks to anyone who just listens to this show, to anyone who subscribes. What a great year we've had. And we're winding down, but uh that is basically that for that. What is going on with you, Ronnie? How are you feeling? What's what's new?

1:51 Good. Good. Everything is good over here. Just getting ready for Christmas, doing a little shopping, etc.

1:59 It's I'm in Texas. It's cold. It's wintry over here. It's like 45 degrees. It was 45 degrees today, so it was nice and chilly.

2:07 Got to wear a jacket. Well, we I missed you because this morning I also uh went on to Jeff Lewis's show on Sirius XM. So, thank go listen to that if you missed that one. uh in your place was actress Elizabeth Rome. So, you know, she she held down the fort even without my my beautiful Rhonda there. But check out

2:32 she's awesome. She's so cool. She's beautiful. Also, I was like I was sitting next to her trying to be cool. I was like, but internally I was like, "You're so pretty." But I tend to do that a lot with um with women

2:46 gorgeous ladies. Just like wow. Yeah. Yeah, she is very beautiful. My gosh. Yeah, she is. Uh, but anyway, thanks to uh Jeff and Shane and that whole crew over there for having um me back on. Um

3:02 cuz she's in law. I should have um Okay. I don't think there's anyone else I have to thank. I'm giving like an Oscar speech this morning. I want to thank uh Below.

3:14 Good morning. Yeah, it's a good morning when you show up and you're like, I'd like to thank you all. Thank you all just for being a part of my story. All right. You've all been a part of my journey.

3:24 Yeah. Thanks. I had a croissant afterwards. I you know the the Sirius XM is right next to Tartine. So I was like I always act like I just came out of the dentist office. I'm like well I deserve a a croissant after being on on the radio. So I went and had

3:37 There is no croissant that leaves more evidence all over your body than a tartene croissant. I know

3:42 those are the crumbliest croissants. I always get them all over myself. So yeah, that's good. You did it after cuz you can't walk into Jeff Lewis covered in carbs. He'll be like, "Ew, we're eating carbs. I don't eat carbs. I hate carbs. We hate carbs here, don't we, Shane?" Shane would be like, "Yeah, we hate carbs."

3:58 Well, uh, they're always so nice over there. They, um, they offered to get me breakfast. So, this time I said, you know, I'll take an avocado toast and got this delicious avocado toast, but it was like covered in in like chili crisp and like oil and all this stuff. I was so messy and like and then like people come in I'm like I can't I'm especially I'm not going to touch Elizabeth Rome with my chili oil fingers but I was a mess before the show started and I was so embarrassed.

4:22 That's funny. Well, you had quite a morning. Avocado toast croissant. Wow. It's like an orgy over there. It's just

4:30 I can't believe I've already gained back half the weight I lost with my no carb October. How did that happen?

4:34 No wonder you showed up. Like I think it might be time for a no carb January or whatever. Yeah, I need to. I mean, it's been it's been it's been pretty intense since I saw

4:44 pretty Well, that's good. Um, well, today uh is our carbs below deck med season 10, episode 12, The Forbidden Kiss.

4:55 Oh, wow. What an episode. What an episode. Uh, this is nice to see that Joe comes from a from a hashboy mom

5:05 because he 100% does. We got to meet Joe's mom today. She was like, "Oh, darling, whatever you want to do, it's the woman's fault. Just do whatever you want." Did she trick you into it, darling? Did she Did she trick you?

5:18 I know. It's like you just see how it happens. You see how this all this this is how people like Joe Rade. What a piece of trash he is. What garbage. But we're not surprised. We knew this would happen. But when you actually see it happen, and then you see him crying over what he's done, and you But you also see how And also Kizzy. I mean, these are just two obnoxious people. This is as close to Below Deck ever. We'll get to a Scandaval moment. So, you know, we got to enjoy it. But, but like

5:45 I don't know that I'd say that. I mean, that was Well, I mean, that was such a big deal cuz those two people were so together forever and everybody believed it, you know? I mean, Tom Sandival was shocking because he was such a dope on the show, but

5:57 I don't know. He was always kind of you were always kind of rooting for him because he was always against Jacks and all, you know? I mean, it's not like he didn't have any faults, but it was a shock that he did that.

6:07 But, uh, this was not a shock. No, this was not a shock. I'll tell you who's going to be shocked. That girl's sinuses. V, she's going to be Do you think you're sad now? Your grief is going to be tripled after this. Her sinuses are going to fall out of her nose. We're going to need to go over there and put straws in there for her because this guy's a total [ __ ] And yeah, [ __ ] Kizzy, too. I mean, Kizzy, like we both knew, we knew that with both of these people that they're just trash and they're going to bring nothing but trash to whoever they're involved with. And Kizzy got engaged to that dude that she's Tommy or whatever, whoever she's been calling all season. And have fun, Tommy, cuz your life will be filled with trash now. You know, trash. Garbage person. Garbage.

6:46 Yeah. Uh, talk about a future divorce. What? She's like, 23. I don't know how old Tommy is, but you guys will be divorced soon. So, congrats on your future divorce. It's not even a wedding. It's a pre-ivorce party that you'll be having.

6:57 Oh yeah. And um you know, good luck to both of you all. Um you're you're interesting. I The reason why I said it was like as close to Blood Deck could ever get to Scandaval is that you have one girl who is like going through [ __ ] and her best her quote no maybe not best friend but her friend sort of quote unquote cheating with her Sandival type. It's just as close as the show can really get to that kind of [ __ ]

7:23 Yeah. But I was so happy. Honestly, I was I really enjoyed the episode because I was very invested in this stupid situation and coming off of last season where I just did not give a [ __ ] about any of the romantic hy jinks, it felt good to be annoyed, you know?

7:36 And it's also nice like, you know, for a super judgmental person like me when things come true, you know, like when you're you know that someone's a piece of [ __ ] and they're pretending they're not a piece of [ __ ] and then they turn out to be a piece of [ __ ] and it's just it's comforting to know. Like it's comforting to know like there are pieces of [ __ ] that's not comforting but you know the fact that you you still got it you know it's like still got it. Not that this was a difficult case or anything but you know Joe people like Joe can fool people even like Aisha who's like well I don't know I mean it is Joe but he does seem to have changed.

8:10 No he did not [ __ ] change. We even get the glorious tears of the how could I made a mistake. Oh, now I'm the victim because I made out with somebody. Oh, it's just glorious. Yeah. I feel like, you know, I feel like we are like a I feel like we are a gay couple who um have trained a seeing eye dog. Like we we are the one who took in the dog for three years, trained the seeing eye dog, and then you send the seeing eye dog out in the wild, and you say, "Ugh, I hope all our training worked." And the dog does the right thing. And then the dog crosses the street at the right time and you're like, "Yes, our training worked." It's like, "We put in the time. We put in the time to study these people on Bravo."

8:54 And then we're like, "Okay, let's see if all of our hard work has paid off." And it does. It paid off. We totally see. Or maybe this is the way an FBI profiler feels like after they spent all that time profiling and then they have like a a case and they're like, "Ooh, well, if my experience profiling all these criminals is correct, then this person Buffalo Bill has Jodie Foster in a well." And then it turns out Jodie Foster's in a well and we're like, "Did it.

9:22 Knew it." And it's not like being a fan of Buffalo Bill or anything. We're not cheering for that. Like, yes, you put somebody in a well. Yes. Give him the lotion, [ __ ] It's not that. It's just like called it, you know? So, yeah.

9:33 We put in the work. We put in the work to be able to to recognize these things. And it's like nice when like to know that that work was not all in vain.

9:41 Yeah. So, we open with Kizzy on the deck with um with David. Oh god. The the charter guest, the David that she's gonna [ __ ] And you called this too because I really thought she was going to go through with it and bang him, but she didn't. You were right last week. You said she's just going to chicken out and be like, "No, no, no, no, no." And you were right. So that's what she's doing. He's like, "Are you afraid? You afraid of getting in trouble right now? Oh, for following your passions. Oh, on the deck of this boat." And she's like, "Yeah." He's like, "Well, I don't want to get you in trouble, bad girl."

10:13 Well, the reason why I knew nothing was going to happen was because if they did kiss, they would have shown us that and then made that the cliffhanger. But if they don't kiss, then that means then that means nothing happened. Like if like they're they're going to do a cliffhanger trying to get you to think they might kiss, but if they've got nothing to show, they're Yeah. If they got something to show, they'll show it and then make that the cliffhanger. So that was what I was going off of.

10:35 Well, you did it. Whatever you did, you did it right. So she's like, I feel like I would get fired. Please, please don't get me in trouble. And he's like, oh, I would never get you in trouble. And she's like, "Oh my god, you know, it's it's taken me close to I I had to get this close to kiss a child, I guess, to realize that maybe I've taken it a bit too far." Oh, Asia would fip as [ __ ] if I started snogging David on the deck. I can't do it. I can't do it.

11:06 I'm sorry. Do you have a girlfriend or a relationship that I can ruin? Then I'm I'm sorry, but I'm not in competition with anybody, so this is a total turnoff to me, which I think is probably what she really meant cuz you know with her it's like the conquest, the competition and the winning.

11:21 Yeah, exactly. He actually made himself a little bit too available, too. So she's like, "Don't worry, I don't see myself being with someone from America." He's like, "Oh, are you breaking up with me?" She's like, "I'm really so sorry to do this." He's like, "It's like Romeo and Juliet." I was like, and she she's like, but they both ended up dead, so it's probably for the best,

11:41 right? Oh, [ __ ] my life. Where Juliet just couldn't be with Romeo cuz he was American. She's like, gross. Okay, get your country in order.

11:50 And Juliet also can't wind up with Romeo because Juliet's part of the the service st the weight staff at the castle. Not the castle.

11:57 Yeah, I love some good American shaming on Below Deck. She's like, I will sleep with literally anybody but an American. Sorry. Get it in gear over there, guys. Learn to drive on the correct side of the road and give me a call. Okay.

12:11 I do I do love that even like the worst of what Britain has to offer, they can still be like, "Yeah, but at least I'm better than an American."

12:20 I mean, when we're being looked down on by the Kies of the worlds, we're we're really sunk over here.

12:26 But you know what, though? Like, you know we did it to ourselves. Um, yeah, no kidding. I mean, I can see your point and I think he has the perfect attitude. He's like, "Yeah,

12:37 sure am. I see the news, too. I mean, I get it. Where's my phone?" So now, um, God, I left my phone downstairs. Like, who walks around without his phone? Now, how am I going to check texts? Just kidding. Okay, go ahead. It's just weird.

12:52 So, Joe goes into the galley. I'm Well, he goes in the galley and that's where Joe is. And he's like, "Hold good morning." She's like, "Good morning." Cuz it's late at night. It's a joke. Get it? Because it's like night late. See, here's how the way comedy works. you say something that's unexpected, like if it's night time, to say good morning. He just had to be there. So Joe's like, I can't wait for this talk, honestly. And Ky's like, "Well, he hates me now because I broke up with him." And I attract like a needy, emotional man. That's what I do, Joe. And he's like, "That's me." She goes, "Oh, you got [ __ ] wifeed up, so no, it won't work out for us, Joe." And he's like, "Yeah, but" and she goes, "You [ __ ] idiot." So now it's time for bedtime. It's 4:28 when they go to bed. And now it's the next morning.

13:35 Captain Sandy's out there filming. She's like, "Wow, so peaceful out here. That is great." It's like Norma's phone waiting for Amanda to call. It's so peaceful. It's like Norma's phone. It's on do not disturb, except that naturally she doesn't even have to turn the setting on. [clears throat] It's just quiet. No interruptions. No one What I'm trying to say is no one calls her. Uh, so, uh, now everybody gets up and starts working in the morning and Nathan and Joe are talking and Joe's like, "Oh, Kissy smells good, bro." And he's like, "She smells good. Don't be stupid. Don't be stupid, bro." And he's like, "What have I done?" Because everybody knows what you're going to do. So later when you're crying and saying, "Oh, I just got so drunk." No, you've been planning this. This was premeditated.

14:22 Mhm. Um, by the way, now is a great time. I know we talked about this on um Crappy Hour, but as long as Nathan's showing up here in case you missed it, now is a good time to tell the audience that Nathan is actually complete garbage and racist and if you don't know what that's about, go listen to Crappy Hour cuz it's really unsettling and it's really disappointing. Yeah, Nathan. [ __ ] that guy. So, um uh in the galley, Max is attacking Kathy with a hug. He's like, "Oh, kissing her cheek." And this week she's kind of softened to Max, which I was surprised by. I thought she was kind of grossed out by him. I thought she got the ick and she was just going to be done with him, but I guess she's giving it another go.

15:04 Yeah. Um, she finally got her chocolate, so she really softened up. Yeah, she got

15:11 She turned the page and it's a new kitty on a new month. And you know what? She found the strength to keep going.

15:18 Yeah. Yeah. Um, so he's like, you know, bouncing all over her and she's like, "It's too much." energy. So then Sandy is like, "Okay, well uh okay, Nathan, just so you know, it's really tight in here." So, okay, Max is we're going to we're going to park in a different parking spot. So, Max is going to do something else. Okay, we need him to do puppetry. So, I need him to do some hand some shadow puppets. Okay, and he's going to take his he's got to pretend he's got to show me how big he says his penis is. And then he's got to demonstrate how big it really is. So, go wide and then go small with his palms.

15:49 That's what I need to do. Big and then small. And they cut to Max on the swim platform and he's just throwing towels up in the air like um and she's like, "Okay, well listen, this is America's Cup and our original marina is full for the rest of the season. So, we got to go to the new one, but it's more challenging cuz it's real thin, right? You got to try and get in there. So, we're going to try it, you know, and we got to swing. We got to have ground lines. We got to know what we're going to do here. I need everyone on board that I can trust. I need to trust people. I need to know that the bow thruster gave way to the last dock.

16:21 I mean, bow thruster. Bow thrusting parking. Parking is very difficult. It's a parking monologue. Just get comfortable. It's going to go for a while. So now, new marina back in my mind. I need the crew to be focused and calling distances perfectly. All right. Now, why am I trusting a man on below deck to be honest about inches? I don't know. But let's see. Let's see how it works out. This much room matters. This much room matters. So, the guests are waking up and going to breakfast. And then we see V um who has her quote of the quote of the episode, which is aka her blowing her nose. So, she says, "I know my body well, and right now whatever I'm experiencing is like so in the thick of grief. Just it's a lot going on. I hate being sad."

17:10 So, she's blowing her nose still. She's still sick. Uh yeah, she goes off to cry. And then now it's anchor hauling time. So Max is asking Nathan, he's like, "Oh, what am I supposed to be doing as the boss of the bullet?"

17:23 And he's like, "Okay, you know, here's what you do." And Max is like, "Oh, it's my chance. My chance to become the lead dean." You know, zoom zoom just like [ __ ] crashed down. Why does he think he's getting a chance to be leadand? Wasn't it already assigned? I I don't know. Did they just like pull this interview from a different part of the season? So, um, so Max is like, he's like, "Okay, I'm on position and I'm at 2 am." And Nathan's like, "Oh my god." He's like, "Oh, this guy at 2 a.m." So Max is like, "This is not about it's about Nathan not being fair cuz you work hard and you're like the best one." And then his best friend show up and just [ __ ] me over. It's like corruption, okay? In politics, this is corruption. I'm like, it's not that deep, bro. It's just a fake position on a show with fake deck hands.

18:11 It's if it's really if it's truly like politics, there's enough room for every idiot. So, just keep running. You'll eventually get something.

18:18 So, Nathan is showing Max, uh, you know, they're like, "One meter. One meter." And she's like, "I need to see your hands, Max." He's like, "What? I don't have anything in the hand." She's like, "No, I'm not accusing you of stealing anything. You need to tell me how many meters there are before we go into the thing. Okay. I need to show just show me your hands." And he just gives her the flash like for 20.

18:36 Yeah. Yeah. Because the whole thing is that like he has to be like because of whatever he just has to do some sort of like hand thing and that's all he has to do. So uh V is still um she still has a stuffy nose. So Nathan's going to talk to Captain Sandy about that. And then the guests are talking about being up late and David's like, "Yeah, I got broken up with guys. I have to recollect myself. It's so tragic. Couldn't land it. Couldn't land it." And uh and then meanwhile back with V, she is still sick. So

19:07 yeah, so yeah, it's a lot of cutting to V being sick. So then um a lot of stuff falls out of a cabinet and breaks

19:14 and below deck sailing was like, okay, we may be cancelled, but we are not forgotten. Thank you.

19:19 Yeah, thank you. Thank you for stealing our best moment below deck med. Isn't it bad enough you guys canceled us without taking our action scenes?

19:27 Yeah, seriously. So meanwhile, the the docking is still happening and it's a lot of max like I here's what I understand. Literally, Captain Sandy's, "Show me your hands." And then Max like puts his hands in his pockets. That's literally the opposite thing that you're supposed to be doing.

19:45 Yeah. And Max is like doing push-ups and sitting down and she's like, "Max, I'm going to need you on your feet. All right. Need you alert." And he's like, "Oh." So he gets up and then um Kathy is uh so glad they only have three charters left. And Josh is like, "Oh, it's so bittersweet." And um then you know it's just talking measurements hands etc.

20:06 And a lot of drama for nothing. Nathan's asking for distances and Max is like oh she's on with she's on she's with me on the bath relax. And he's like don't tell me to relax bro. So like some fighting on the radio in addition to the mayhem which I'm sure she loves.

20:22 Yeah. It's a lot of back and forth because you know as we know the bow thrusters went out last time and there were lines in the water and there's America's Cup and like there's a Red Bull sponsorship happening. There's just a lot of scary things happening and I think if we don't get this I need to see some hands. If we don't see some hands, we're going to crash. We're all sink. We're all going to die. Oh, we docked. We docked.

20:38 We're fine. Everything's great. We're fine. Okay. Okay. Good job, everyone. Good job.

20:41 Uh meanwhile, Max has just been acting like an idiot. He hasn't been doing anything right. And he's like, "Fuck, what do they want from me?"

20:48 And Ethan says, "What the [ __ ] are you doing, Max? Just because you aren't leadan doesn't mean you get to throw your [ __ ] hands in the air and say, "I'm not going to do my job. Go back to your own country." You probably did say that to be honest. Okay. All right. Well, we made it. We We docked. So, we're all safe. Okay. So, let's get back to you guys being stupid. So, now it's uh Kizzy. Ky's walking by Joe and sticks something in his butt cheeks and he's like clenches it in his butt and she's like, "So, uh you know, the sexual chemistry is off the charts.

21:23 [gasps] This finger in the butt action." Yeah. Um, so, uh, she's like, "Well, that was a little harder than it needed to be." And yes, I am talking to you, Joe. Okay, I can see you in the cameras. Uh, but good job everybody. So, uh, then Kathy asked Kizzy how the night was. And she's like, "Oh my god." He was like, "Wait, are you breaking up with me? Can you believe it? An American wanted to marry me." Well, now it's time for the guest to depart. And David just shakes Ky's hand very professionally. And um Kathy's like, "I knew it was just going to be a handshake. I knew it."

21:59 And so they're they're really sweet. They're like, "Oh, we appreciate everything you guys did. Thank you so much. Uh I'm going to go get arrested now for fraud." Was it Cameron who got arrested for fraud?

22:08 It was Cameron who's who's having fraud issues at the moment. You're lucky you caught me for tip before I got arrested for fraud cuz I borrowed this from 20 different family members and I'm never going to pay them back. Okay. Thanks. Sha squad for life. So, um, time to turn the boat around. Okay. And so, they're getting they're cleaning everything. V is coughing. So, Nathan's like, "Hi, Captain. How you doing, Nathan? What's going on? Have any progressive views on people from different backgrounds for you?" No, I don't. But with V, she doesn't feel so well, so I just wanted to let you know.

22:41 You know, V has been through a lot this season already, and I feel like it's a combination of being fatigued and sick and just also having sex with Joe that can really do a number on your body. So, also the anniversary of her boyfriend Sophie just wasn't a good place physically or mentally right now.

22:56 Well, you need to have your team, you know. I get it. I get it. So, don't worry. I got you. I got you. I'm going to find something great and I'm only going to bring professional vibes to the boat because I'm very about professionalism. [sighs] Oh gosh, how can I do this in the least dramatic way possible? H. Do you have anybody you absolutely hate in your life? Okay, maybe someone that hates you. Okay, an ex-girlfriend that you've recently [ __ ] over on camera. I'll get right on it. Okay, go back to work.

23:23 Well, I just want to know what PA uh on the production staff went and coughed and blew their nose all over V's pillow to make her sick so that way she'd be removed from this boat so that way all these plot complications would happen because this this is just so convenient. This is so perfect. They're like, "Oh, let's take her off the boat. What could possibly go wrong?" I mean, it's

23:42 it's like it's kind of amazing. Yeah. So, um, she's texting deckhand number one and she like, "Hey, I might be in need of a de temp deck hand, god damn it, for one for one charter." Okay. He wanted to see if you could fill in for a few days in Barcelona. And then we see, oh, I might I might be in need of a temp deck hand for Oh, then we see someone being like, maybe, I don't know. So, now we go back to Max and Nathan. And Max is like, uh, can I show you something just so we agree on the board? You tell me to speak with Captain Sandy. So, I'm on bow. She is there. I'm seeing her. Like we see it, you know, like really come on time.

24:20 And he's like, "So you tell her anyway. She told you to stop sitting down and to pay attention. If I can hear Captain Sandy over that radio, I know you aren't paying attention. So you need to pay attention and do what she says. Simple as that. Now you'll be on the stern from now on. You've been grounded from the bow." And what we call that as a stern talking to Gat. So then uh Max is very he's pouting of course and he's like he's like sure yes sir and he does like a to us he does like a middle finger salute and he's like first bye-bye to the lead deck and position now we can take the bow [ __ ] dude ciao like Max you are the [ __ ] up here. Okay stop acting like the system is working against you.

25:00 You literally all you had to do is show your hand to Captain Sandy and you couldn't even do that. I don't I'm sick of it.

25:05 Yeah. And he's Nathan's like I'm sick of him. He's lying through his teeth and now he's getting argumentative. I'm not having it. I'm not having it. In return in uh for revenge, I'm going to go walk around with a monk monk haircut. There you go. Going to get him with this one.

25:21 Tip meeting uh uh I wonder how V's doing. She's dying. Uh so, how do you think the charter went, Asia? She's like, "Oh my gosh." Wonderful job, girls. In fact, one of them actually almost smashed it too literally. But thankfully, she has her own psychological issues, which causes her to sabotage her own work. Sabotage. Very convenient. [gasps] So, V can barely speak. She's like, I'm sick. And Captain Sy's like, well, we're going to attack on the bridge after this. Okay. All right, everybody. It's a great tip. 20 grand. So, you know, I'm mediocre, I guess. Great. I don't know. We can be mid 40 one time. Remember that? That was fun. It's over now, but you know, still not so bad. And uh something else I want to say. Tomorrow, guess what? I'm going to say my favorite word of the week.

26:15 Alingi. Okay, we're going to the Aliy Red Bull Racing Team headquarters. Isn't that exciting? I don't know if I'm more exciting to meet the Alis, the Reds or the Bulls. Love them all. God, communist bulls.

26:26 Really into it. Have you ever seen a bull racing in the water? It's so thrilling. Especially the red ones. Wow. So, I know everyone's really excited. Um, so get ready because it's gonna happen tomorrow. And then we see they we're seeing like a lot of stock footage of this America's Cup and this team. I'm sure it's like a very big deal, but to me I'm like, okay, like it's fine. I don't need to see all the stock footage. I get it. So, um, Asia's like, "Oh, Scott would kill to see this. Oh my god, we're so lucky." All right. What I want you to do is work real hard and turn the boat around.

27:07 This is full of passion. Okay. I'm going to call everybody's significant others and try and get a lot of fingers in the hole. Okay. Fingers through the hole going on on my boat. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. So, uh, now Kathy starts getting drunk, which is fun. And then Joe is like, "Hey, Kizzy, are you going to get drunk tonight? Can we shake on it? Let's get drunk." So, uh, then V is like blowing her nose. So, uh, and then Asia's texting Scott. They're just all doing their like, you know, afternoon stuff after they're done with the charter. And Nathan is telling Max to use a scrupper for something on the deck or the scrubber. The scruber or the scupper, whatever it is. Max, oh, but the scrubbers, they better wait the door when they are dry. And he's like, "Yeah, but they have to flush the scrubbers.

27:50 They got to shut off of it." He's like, "Yeah, dude. I just want to be rebellious. Like, I don't care. just easy it out of him because my grandfather would be so proud of me to be rebellion. My grandfather was a war hero one of the resistance of World War II who lead a lot of people take a cocktail molotov and throw it from the windows of [ __ ] Nazi you know and his blood is in my veins that's why I have a bit of a problem with authority as no boss on the plan going to give me that uh you like wiping down a window is just really not the same level as throwing a hot cocktail at the Nazis. I'm just going to say that right now. Although it is an interesting for him to talk about bombing the racists.

28:28 I know I appreciate the legacy. Um but like maybe aspire for something greater then like ah this beautiful rebellion is within me that is why I should be in service for wealthy people.

28:43 Yeah I know. It's like wow my grandfather is such a rebel in the world. He's inspired me to clean deck.

28:50 I know. I will not flush the scuppers just because I'm rebel like grandfather. So Asia is texting Scott and I like you'll never believe it. We're going to the Elingi Red Bull or something or other. You can't believe how many times Captain Sandy said Lingi. I mean it's just hilarious. And he's like I'm so jealous. I wish I could be there. So now we see V and Sandy in the bridge and she's like, "Okay, listen here. I see your eyes. I see your sad eyes. Don't be discouraged cuz I realize this song's really long, but you've got bad sinuses.

29:27 I want you off my boat cuz I'm going to get some people here to give some deep throats. Now, get out. Go. Go. Go be sick somewhere else. Okay.

29:36 Why are you lifting that boom box over your head? Sh. In your eyes. I see you're tired in your eyes. You got a sinus infection. Don't say anything. V. It's from a different generation. Your elders would appreciate it.

29:53 All right. Well, you're sick, you know. So, you know what we do on Charter when people are sick? We give them lethal injections, watch them squirm for a bit, and throw them overboard. But since we're on camera, we're just going to replace you for a while. So, you know what? Get out of here, kid. Go. I'm sure there's a continental breakfast. Get everyone at a hotel sick. Bye. Get out. Sending her off to the hotel. Now, normally when people get sick on the show, they just are in their bed and then they just sit there for three days.

30:18 Let's never forget when uh Kyle had like a toothache. He's like, "Captain Sandy, I don't think I unfortunately cannot can I work at all, Captain Sandy? So, I'm going to lay in bed for three days with my toothache."

30:30 It was everything with that guy. Remember, it was a toothache and an ankle and a like he always had something going on that one.

30:37 It's trauma. So, he was out prank. So, uh she's out and Captain Sandy still loves her. She's like, "Av has such a good work ethic." You know, uh, you know, the way she's just so willing to take a nap when I tell her to. That's really what I'm looking for in somebody. You know, I can't believe I'm kicking someone off the boat who's taken this many naps. But here we are. So, I'm I'm the one who has to say, "Go take a break." You know, you never have to say that around Norma because we're always around Kit Kat bars and she's always taking one. Okay? Otherwise, she wouldn't do it. Okay?

31:12 So, she's like, "Yeah, when you come back, the job is yours. It's 100% yours. Nothing could ever change that. Okay. She goes, "Well, I'll come back with an iron fist. Thanks, Captain." Iron fist. I don't think this has anything to do with Iron Fist, but whatever. So V is like telling everyone, "I'm going to the hotel." And Joe's like, "Oh, I'm so sad to see you leave." And then he's like, like he can barely contain the smile on his face. U which says a lot because it's a big smile.

31:39 So V's like, "Yeah, it's like such an emotional day approaching. You know, it's great to know that Joe's going to be so supportive and there for me. And he's like, "I'm sad to see her gone, but what's going on right now? It feels so serious. I'm just in this weird headsp space. It's crazy how much her illness is really affecting me."

31:59 What do I do? Why Why is he in a weird headsp space? He's like, "It'll be good for her to get off the boat and recover and then when she comes back, she we can go back now 100%." Like, Mhm. So Kazy then goes to Kathy and she's like, "I have to tell you something. Like last night Joe and I were really flirtatious and I don't want to do anything because I know she really likes him." I'm like, "Okay, just because you're laying the groundwork now does not let you off the hook later. This is all she's trying to lay it on thick. That way no one would ever accuse her of being a shitty friend. But

32:33 you're going to be a shitty friend. That's not going to happen." So, uh, V walks in right at that time, but doesn't hear them talking. And she's like, "Okay, I'm going. Be sure to take care of my boy. He's my Jos, okay? Take care of him." And Kissy's just rolling her eyes like, "Oh, God. God, now I'm going to [ __ ] him in every hole, you know?" Yep. So, Ky's like, "Kathy, are you going to shag Max?" She's like, "No, disgusting. I hate that man." She's like, "Do you think he likes you more than him?" And she's like, "Well, let me answer that with an eye roll, a scowl, and like a little vomit in my mouth."

33:08 And she's like, "Well, I'm not even thinking about whether I like him or not. I just, you know, I want to kiss you. I want to kiss you. If I don't, I don't. It's not that big of a deal." And it's because, backstory, backstory, backstory, backstory. My parents broke up when I was four years old. Here's a picture of me at four years old looking exactly like I do now with less mascara.

33:27 How does every picture of her look exactly like her? It's weird. I know. Uh she says that she had three parents growing up because she had her mom, her stepdad, and her biological dad. And uh because of my split family, I'm very much a realist when it comes to dating. It's been holding me back with my relationship with Max. No, what's holding you back is that Max is annoying as [ __ ] Okay? And you're trying to tell yourself it's not Max, it's you because you're broken somehow inside. No, Max is annoying. You're not broken. Okay?

33:56 You're paying attention. Also, like I'm booing this. Boo. Boo to Kathy. What? You're gonna give us some backstory and your backstory is that your parents got divorced and like one of your parents remarried. Um, hello. This is below deck. Okay. You you started off on a good note last week when you told us that you were raised in a taxi company. I'm like, can we get Danny DeVito into this story? What about Mary Liu Henner or Tony Danza? It's not like you can't just come on this show and be like, my parents got divorced. Okay, there needs to be a a commune. There needs to be clown school. There needs to be fraud.

34:29 There needs to be a baguette. There needs to be so much more. There needs to be a grandfather throwing Molotov cocktails at at the Nazis. But you're like, "Oh, wow. My parents got divorced." Excuse me, ma'am. This is a yacht. This is not a Starbucks. Okay. Have a better backstory. Yeah. Give us more. I mean, make something up about your stepdad. I don't care. I have a stepdad and he was a clown revolutionary who threw bombs at Nazis. I don't know. Okay, that works. That's fine. It's not the most, but that's fine. Just take everyone else's backstory.

34:59 My grandfa, my stepfather was a clown, a Nazi, and um drove a taxi that talked like Herby. Okay. Yes. Yes.

35:10 Yes. That's what we're talking about. But like, oh, I have commitment issues cuz my parents got divorced. I mean, what are we in like normal life? No, I don't think so. This is this is below deck. You need to step it up. So Nathan uh goes to talk to V and uh she says she's going to the hotel and he says to get better now they have to turn over the boat. Ve goes to the hotel and she get the van stops for her and she gets in the van and goes as that driver, you know that that driver was like, "Really? You've even got the door open. Could you stick your head out the door?

35:46 I know you're sick. Okay, I don't need to have it all over my face, all all over the back of my neck."

35:53 It's just shocking how much people are disgusting, you know? They just will like we are raised I think like globally people are raised cover your mouth when you cough. Okay. Now I know that masks have gotten politicized and if you have a stance on a mask it's a whole it's a lightning rod issue which is literally the stupidest thing in the world but like it's just an extension of that. Like cover your [ __ ] mouth. Like don't cough in my face. Okay. If you've got a cough keep it buried. Like even cough into your shirt. Do something. But don't just step into a car and just cough onto someone's ear. V.

36:29 Yeah. V. So Nathan comes uh Oh, no. I've already done that. So now uh Joe is cozying up to Ky already. I mean, this woman has just walked off the boat and he's immediately like, "Oh, you look lovely, don't you? Oh, you just look so lovely." Oh god, I can't remember the last time I said that. Oh, about five minutes ago with V. Yeah. Max, meanwhile, tells Kathy, "Oh, you look like Marie Antoanette." Oh, yes. That's a big compliment for me because I'm a rebellion. You know what? I hate I hate I hate people in power, which is why you are the beautiful Marie Antonette. I'm like, you know the story of Marie Antonet, right?

37:08 I know. Is this your subtle way of asking for head? Get out of here. And of course, she doesn't know. She doesn't know who that is. She's like, I don't know who that is.

37:16 So, now uh it's a boy's van and a girl's van. And the boys, uh, Max's like, "Bro, did you see the boobies? She got boobies on here." And Nathan's like, "Well, if you want me to look, I'll look." Then we go to the girls van and, uh, Ky and Asa are just texting. And Ky's like, "Oh, there's just there's something going on between Joe and I." Genuinely, I don't think I've ever got on with someone as well. I get on with Joe, I think. So, here's what's obnoxious about this, aside from the base level obnoxiousness of anything that comes out of Kizzy's mouth, is if this guy is like with your friend and you know they are together and you've said enough like, I would never do anything cuz she really likes him and you know also that she's in a fragile place or whatever. The fact that she keeps on like going on about this to people like wow there's just something between us is so shitty I think because

38:08 she's obviously trying to advance the narrative and like shift things or whatever. And like if I don't know, I kind of just feel like even if you felt that way, I would just sort of if I keep it to myself or maybe I would like treat it with like a little bit more gravity because someone could get hurt in that situation. Like maybe pull Asia to the side and be like, I have a weird situation cuz I feel like there's something going on between us, but like my friend, but the fact that she just sort of like announced in the van like, "Oh my god, isn't that hilarious, guys?"

38:34 Knowing full well that something like that could just get back to V and be hurtful. Like I just think it's just shitty. I just think the way she moves is shitty. No, that's why she's doing it. She's She's dedicated to her game, you know? She's like, even if I don't end up hooking up with this guy, I'm going to make everybody think I'm going to and I'm going to make it get back to V. I'm going to talk to literally every person on this boat just so I can be. Yeah. Just to like hurt that.

38:57 Um, so, uh, Kathy's like, "Oh, he's such a nice guy." Hey, no. What gave you that idea? And Asa's like, "I mean, I love Joe, but you know, I really do hate any guy that just always does this. just like doing his duck lips. So, it's like try his like faux model thing. And uh Kathy's like, "Yeah, he does do that, doesn't he? Smolders, doesn't he?" Yeah, he really does.

39:22 Kizzy tells us the Kizzy puzzle is a very complex one. I'm like, "No, it's not. You didn't get attention from

39:29 men in your life, and now you crave male attention, and the puzzle has been solved. It's a one piece puzzle."

39:33 Yeah. You're you're a male-centered person who always loses the male. like you're and it's going to happen again. You're going to center around the mail to get what you want to hurt someone else's feelings and he's still going to cry and dump you later and then make you feel guilty about it.

39:49 Have fun. Literally nothing complex. It's not even a puzzle. It's just a square. It's like you open up a jigsaw puzzle and then just a giant square in there and it's done.

39:56 So she's like, "But it's still it's one that I'm still struggling kind of struggling to put together myself. Maybe I need to do some self therapy." And so now it's like going back and forth between her like as a therapist and then her as a patient. She's like, "Welcome to therapy, Kizzy Kitchener. I'm your therapist, Kizzy Kitchener." By the way, I didn't realize her last name was Kitchener. And really makes sense what her profession is. She literally works in the kitchen.

40:17 I love that she's But I love that her name is Kitchener. And she still won't [ __ ] the chef. And he's like, "Please." She's like, "Oh, I just think I wish there was one man I was compatible with. Just one person with a penis who god would fit with a kitchener."

40:33 Like, we're literally in a kitchen right now. Nope. Can't think of one. All right. Her her last name isn't even kitchen. It's like Kizzy Kitchener. The implication is Kitchener is like she's someone who does kitchens. She's a kitchener. She still won't do the guy in the kitchen. Um, so she has this fake therapy thing and it's stupid and uh nothing is solved.

40:54 I think it's amusing how uh amusing she thinks she is and this audience probably just hates her. I mean, I don't read a lot of like below deck Reddits or anything. I'm assuming everyone hates her, but wow. I think so.

41:06 Uh, so, um, she's like, "Well, I'm not going to do anything." And Jackie, Kathy's like, "Okay, listen, a cheeky little flirt, whatever. Just stay toxic, queen. Stay toxic."

41:17 And Kizzy laughs. Stay toxic. I'm like, "No, she was she was making fun." That was sarcasm. Now, Kizzy, yeah,

41:23 that was sarcasm. So, they go to dinner and uh Kathy's in a much better mood today. She says she needs a drink cuz she's feeling frisky. And then Joe pulls out the chair for Kizzy. Um, and uh, the boys go smoke and uh, Josh is asking Kizzy and Asia if either of them snore. You know, it's we're we're seeing Josh's game basically. He's like, "So, does anyone here snore?" Anyone? Anyone?

41:48 Anyone here have a deathly fear of clowns? Anyone? Anyone ever tried growing broccoli in human [ __ ]

41:56 Anyone? Everyone wanted to see the picture of me naked with just a butternut squash covering my privates cuz I was on commune. Um Ky hates snores and um Asia's like Scott snores and I love it. It's just so loud and comforting. I miss Scott. Well, she really does love him. I mean, they talk of how much she misses his snoring

42:24 she loves and she starts to cry at the table. So, um, everyone's like, "Oh, Asia." She's like, "What I love about mine and Scott's relationship is we let each other go off and chase our dreams. But I do find that the older I get, are thinking about the future and maybe it's not on a boat because guess what? It's more fun to stick your finger up someone's bum when it's on land."

42:48 Yeah. So, she's crying and um she's leaving. She's going to be out of here soon is basically what she's telling us.

42:55 So, now uh food, drink, shot, shots. And um Kathy's like, "And a hook, hug, hug to a jolly good fuck." Max is like, "Oh, she's so romantic."

43:07 And then Joe and Ky go to the bathroom together. Super subtle, these two. So, they go downstairs into kind of like the bathroom foyer. What would you call that? like a little waiting room for the bathroom and then he she sits down and he's like massaging her and they're getting all sexy.

43:26 Yeah. Acting in a way that you wouldn't act if you've basically been talking to someone and saying that you want to, you know,

43:33 I'm thinking of nobody else relationship. Nobody else but you. It's only you. Only you.

43:37 Yeah. And you don't want to hurt someone and you're talk about how you don't want to hurt someone and then after when the season's done, you want to like go off and do other things with them. just acting a way that you wouldn't act when you say those things. But of course, he's doing it. But the way but acting the way you do act when you are just a paint by the numbers [ __ ] boy. Yeah. So, back at the table, Nathan is talking to Asia and Josh and he's like, "They want to [ __ ] so bad right now from day one." And Josh is like, "Yeah, well, she still wants him. I know that." And he's like, "100." And listen, I don't want them to.

44:07 I don't want them to. I don't want them to either. And the way he's behaving is making V think think that they're only with each other. And so if he did something with Kizy tonight, it would be [ __ ] It would be [ __ ] So Nathan's like watching this flirtatious behavior between Ky and Joe. I'm just thinking about V. Man, V has just got off the boat, you know? Yeah. It just makes it even more complicated knowing that V experienced losing the love of her life. This is probably the first time she's feeling any sort of romantic excitement since then.

44:40 So Nathan's like, "Oh, if they do that, it's going to create tension because I don't stand for that. He better not [ __ ] this up." And he tells them, "He's like a dog with two dicks." He's just like a dog with one dick. Honestly, I think dogs are not known for being like terribly monogamous. I think dog a dog with one dick can really get around.

45:01 Yeah. So now they go back in the vans and um Joe's like, "What am I supposed to do, man?" And Nathan's like, "You can't do it. You can't do it. Please don't do it." And then the other man, uh, in the other van, J Max and Kathy, um, she has her legs in his lap and he's like, "Oh." And she invites him to sleep in her cabin and she's like, "Let's go to the hot tub first." And he's like, "Oh, I love your air like this." She goes, "Do you prefer it when it's wavy or like this?" And he's like, such a rebel. So, um, then Asia telling everyone in the van that she told Scott that she's so happy she gets to spend the rest of her life with him, which is very nice. And then they're just go now they get back to the boat, they get in the hot tub, they're they're drunk, they're making out, Nathan's foot winds up in Cathy's vagina. You know, these things happen. And um Joe and Ky are being really close and really flirty.

45:58 And um they're also very, very drunk. And Joe's like, "I'm not very good, am I?" She goes, "No, it appears not." She goes "Well maybe." She's like, "I don't know what you're saying, but you're hot, so I'll just pretend like I do."

46:12 Yeah. So, they're wasted. And Asian and Nathan are side eyeing them. And he's like, "This is [ __ ] up. I'm going to bed." And she's like, "Same. Could anybody stand out my room, stand outside my room, and just sound like Darth Vader for a bit so I can go to sleep?"

46:28 And by the way, notice that like Nathan totally removes himself from that situation. Admittedly, Joe and Ky are adults and they do not need tending after. But if Nathan was really concerned about what Joe would be doing and honestly, even if Aisha were, but I feel like it's a little bit more on Nathan, he would be like, "Hey, Joe, you should come to bed also." But he's just like, "I'm out of here. Peace." Nah, he already he already knows what Joe's going to do. He's known a million Joe's. He's been yaching for a long time. He knows what's I'm sure he's been to Joe many times. He knows what Joe's doing and he's just like, I'm out of here.

46:58 See, there's no point in trying to get No point in trying to help him out. It's too late.

47:02 Yeah. And it's not his responsibility. I mean, he's That's the thing. Like, you're best friends with a douchebag. What are you going to do? Like get mad when they're a douchebag? He's a douchebag. He knows he's a douchebag. That's his friend. I'm I'm The biggest shock is that he's acting shocked.

47:16 Actually, I'm gonna I I'm pushing back slightly. Normally I would actually 100% agree with you and I'm only going to be 99%. Uh because I agree at a certain point you're adults like you just make your choices and like you know when you're like 23 you feel like oh my god I have to protect I have to step in but like so normally I'd be like you know what you make your own choices but in this case Nathan is the bosen and he knows that this will cause an issue on deck. It'll be it'll it will he he already says he already said at some point in the episode like the last thing I want is for this to happen because you know they're both like V and Joe are both on my team. So I think actually for the smoothness not smoothness but for the tranquility of your team you would be like hey I'm pulling you back to bed because I don't need drama on deck.

48:01 So I think there's 1% I disagree with you where I think that just in terms of as a boss he could have stepped in.

48:07 Yeah. Uh, so now everybody goes, "It sounds like I do." What's that? I said, "But I don't really care as much as I sound like I do."

48:13 Yeah. I mean, I just I mean, honestly, my whole thing is like I don't care. It's like arguing about what should be on top in a trash compactor. Like, I really don't care. They're trash. And I think that it's probably better for V to realize that she's with trash. Because the whole thing, the whole danger with someone like V, it's like if everybody protects her from this [ __ ] she's going to go around like, "Oh my god, he's such a good guy

48:35 and I've finally broken a man, you know how she's been doing." And I think it's better that she just

48:41 separates the hard way, you know? Yeah. Yep. Cuz he's a good faker. So, it's like they're putting him in a situation where he's not going to be able to fake his way out of this one, which he'll still try to do by crying and being like, "It was just drunkenness instead of premeditation, which I talked to this girl about [ __ ] her for two days, you know."

48:58 Yep. So, then um Joe and Ky of course stay up. Everyone else is drunk eating downstairs. Nathan's going to bed with Lucky Charms, which is just uh I think if we wrote that it would be like so, um like racist. It's like, "Of course he is." And um then we go back to the hot tub and Kissy's like, "Oh, I think we should probably go before we fall in love, eh?" And he's like, "Yes, before this turns in to a problem because we're having too much of a laugh. Am I right? I rub your neck." So they all go to they're all getting out of bed and out of the hot tub, etc.

49:34 And then Kizzy and Joe are at a table and his legs are on her chair and he's like, "I'm going to bed after this. I can't deal with you." And she's like, "It's your choice, not mine." But it's nice that we can be so stupid, but I still find you sexy. But it's like, "Mhm." So then Joe was like, "Oh, that's the [ __ ] thing." Oh, I can't I can't get with you cuz of V. Cuz of Victoria. And she's like, "No, no, no. Of course not." And I was like, "Cuz we've got V." No, no, no. Of course not. Of course not. And it's not even on the table, babes. No, we're not. Where's the camera? Can we make sure the camera gets her saying it's absolutely not on the table, babes, that we're going to get together? Yeah, Victoria, she doesn't deserve like disrespect from me. Yeah, let's go to bed because you're trouble and you're wearing me jumper. And so they get up and he's like, "Oh, it's just such a massive battle between what

50:22 I want and what I don't want and what I know is wrong and what I know is right." Ah. So Kizzy goes around the corner. They see the camera where the camera is, and they go and they hide behind the camera so the camera can't get them. And then they start making out. And um then they they show a closeup of water dripping into a bucket, which I didn't get.

50:43 Did you see that? I was so confused. I was like I was like trying to discern what they were trying to show us. I was like, "What? Huh?"

50:49 Yeah. I was like, "Is there a reflection off something? Is this supposed to be like a leaky wiener?" Like I I don't know what it was supposed to be, but it was funny. And so then she purposely like kind of like, "Oh, whoops. I'm making out too far now. The camera's catching us. Whoops." And then she looks up at the camera. She's like, "Hops. She got caught.

51:11 So, you see, it's not just me. You No one can trust her. Like, I'm telling you, this girl is just making trouble just to make trouble. Like, why do you think she's going to like she's not even a good cheating partner,

51:22 you know what I mean? Like, and not that I'm saying like, oh, that would be better, but at least have some skill in what you're trying to do. You know, you're you can't even be a a good villain. You're just like you're so bad at it.

51:34 Yep. Yeah. No. Um, she's trash. So then uh they're like, "Oh no, what are we going to do?" So then [snorts] then of course my favorite is the cameraman who comes bolting down because you know they told the cameraman, "Okay, stay back." So that way they think that they're alone and then like, "Okay, they're caught. They know they're not alone. Go swarm swarm swarm." This cameraman goes running down there and they're like, "Oh."

51:55 Cuz he didn't he cover the camera or something? They did something to the camera.

51:58 They tried Joe tried to move the camera out of the way, but at this point the cameraman was already there. And then uh Joe's like, "Oh, Kizzy just fell. She just fell down here. I came to save her. She just fell. You didn't see anything. Like Mhm. Okay.

52:12 Yeah. So now they they have to go to the galley and she's like, "Oh god, just don't talk about this ever. Don't talk about it ever." And he's like, "Okay." So um then let's see. Max and Kathy go to bed together and he's like la. They start doing the deed and then Nathan sees Joe and he's like, "What the [ __ ] happened tonight?" and he's like, "I can't remember what it might cost me." So, now it's the next morning and um Joe wakes up and he's very depressed looking, which shows that he does remember. He's very, very depressed. And Kathy and Max are still in bed. And she's like, "What if every single person knows that we've just [ __ ] How embarrassing." He's like, "Oh, I will not say anything for a few hours."

52:57 Yeah, right. He's going to come out of there high-fiving everybody like, "Yeah, I know." is

53:01 be punching the air like he's Rocky revolution. So Josh sees Kizzy in the kitchen. He's like, "Okay, give me the gossip." She's like, "Literally no gossip." He's like, "No way. No, seriously, there's no gossip." So then we go to Max and Joe, and Max is like, "Oh, do you remember how we come back?" And he's like, "I do actually. No, no, I don't." And so they're saying, "Joe, do you remember about last night?" He's like, "Absolutely nothing. I'm I'm claiming the old blackout defense." It's like bits and pieces. What I remember is a blur. So, uh, he's he just says that he remembers having fun. So, sure. What's So, what I like about this is that they are both really shitty, both as a partner and as a friend, and then they both are very comfortable lying. So, great great episode for both of you.

53:55 Yeah. So, um, K Josh is still giving Kizzy a look and she's like, "Stop giving me that look." Okay, just deny, deny, deny, deny, deny, deny. Don't tell V. Deny, deny. So, now Captain Sandy comes to get him because guys, it's time to go see the Elingi Red Bull Race. Okay, Eli, Elingi, Elingi. I'm going to say Elingi as many times as I can. Okay, let's go. So, they go into some Red Bull branded boats and they go to the Elingi. The Alingi Little Tiny Boat Race Festival.

54:28 Linky Tiny Little Boat Race. So, guess what everyone? We're here. So, the Alingi Red Bull Racing Team headquarters, it's very exclusive. Um, you know, Norma can't even get within like a 10 mile radius of this place. It's so exclusive, but that has to do with just the fact that she stalked the owner of it for many years in a row, and they became very alarmed with her presence. So, anyway, to be able to be part of this is super cool. I mean, it's just one of the perks of of yaching is getting to go check out a lingy. It's the Roger Federer of of boats, basically.

54:58 Yeah. So, they get like a little tour of this place and they're like, "Oh my god, it's so amazing." And they see it and they're and then guess what? Matchmaker, matchmaker, make you a match, find you a fine, catch you a cash is me. Matchmaker, turn some butter. Okay, because I've done it. Uh Alicia, I mean Aisha, I have a very special present for you outside. Uh something Norman's never had a date show up. Okay, go out there and check it out. And it's got like [crying]

55:30 Scott the Alingi headquarter starts like crumpling. It's Brigadeun. It just disappears for 12 years. Um Scott is dressed like he is someone who works at Alingi. And so when he turns around, she's like, "Oh." And so she cries and it's lovely. And Max's like, "Who is that? This is crazy that she falls in love so quickly with someone from Malingi." He's like, "No, that's Scott." He's like, "No, me." So everyone's like, "Oh, this is so sweet." I'm surprised cuz he wasn't like, "Hey, Scott. I like the way he looks. I kind of feel like we have a vibe together. Guys, Scott won't stop flirting with me." So, uh, he found out what her day off was and called Sandy and they hooked it up. And so it's like really romantic and Sandy's like Captain Sandy, more like Cupid Sandy Lingy.

56:23 So uh Scott's going to join them tonight on the boat and they they finished their tour and Aisha is just like so excited. She's so happy. And uh Joe is now talking to Kizzy being like, "I genuinely don't remember what happened last night. I think we played Scrabble." And [clears throat] she's like, "Well, we were like, we you should probably go to bed because this is going to this is going a way that it shouldn't go." And I went, "Oh, don't kiss me. Don't kiss me." And it was like it was like a little tehe cuz I think you kissed me.

56:50 Do you remember? So, um uh I think it's so funny that the way she's like jogging his memory to this thing that they're like, "We won't say a thing. We won't say a thing." But she's like, "Remember though that we did this though, right? Like I want to make sure this is logged in your brain because if you happen to gossip about it and then it comes out and then your relationship goes down the goes down the tube and then we could be together. That would be pretty fun. But don't say anything. Don't say anything.

57:14 Well, yeah. I mean, she has to get it on record that he knows what they did so she doesn't look like a liar later when she reveals what they did. So, he's like, "I can't afford to hurt Victoria." And she's like, "That's why we don't say anything." So, she's like, "Well, here's the thing. I don't regret having a kiss with Joe. You know, we've had great vibes from literally the day he walked on, but because, you know, her boyfriend died and everything, I shouldn't add more fuel to the fire cuz, you know, that would be shitty. That would be a shitty thing to do. No, it's shitty what you did. Adding fuel to the fire by telling her doesn't make it less shitty.

57:50 Not telling her doesn't make it less shitty. Whatever. Y So, um, he's doing the whole What the [ __ ] have I done, bro? Just what you've been planning to do for two days. I will not accept the I am blacked out and it's all alcohol's fault.

58:04 I'm sick of it. Why doesn't Tito sue these people? You know, they've got to be so sick of being blamed for everything. They're like, we're just a refreshing beverage and you people use us for every excuse in the book.

58:15 Like it are you ever like do people like this ever get embarrassed? I mean, do you ever think like isn't it so embarrassing that people see me and they know exactly what I'm going to do and it doesn't matter what I say because they know I'm going to do it and then I do do it. like that. I'm so predictable like that. Like, aren't you embarrassed that we see you come on to the show and we see we say exactly what your story beats are going to be? Like, aren't you mortified that that's how you operate in life? Obviously, I know the answer. The answer is no. They're they're they're not embarrassed, but like I would be mortified. So, of course, now

58:45 first first rule of [ __ ] boyism, which is that you've got to align your image with your mother. So, he calls his mom and she's like, "Hello, Joe." And he's like, "Mom, I made a mistake. Remember Victoria that I was telling you about? She's she means a great deal for me which is why I call her Victoria. She's like yeah do he's like well last night I got drunk and there's another girl named Ky. We got to do something about it Joe. Why you crying Joe? No, you're going to make me cry. But here's the thing. V's off the boat because she's not well and V's got a situation that I can't even wish upon me worst enemy. And the first night she's not here. I go and do this [ __ ] Ma, I go. It's like, "Oh, just be honest. Just be truthful. Cuz you know she's not your girlfriend anyway, is she?

59:33 What you going to do? It's her own fault. It's her own fault for not locking you down, son.

59:39 Boys will be boys. And he's like, I just don't want to hurt her today. Jesus Christ, you got that sword up.

59:50 Such a good boy to get me so upset like this, Joe. And he's like, I can't imagine the pain that she's going through, mom. was like, "Oh, you've got me crying, Nigel. I'm the one going through the pain knowing my boy is such a good boy with feelings for somebody else. That's about the fact that you would feel like this for somebody else's feelings, Joe." You raised a [ __ ] [ __ ] Okay. Get stronger on the phone. And you owe V an apology for raising that piece of [ __ ] How about like uh Joe, get your [ __ ] together and maybe treat women a little bit better.

1:00:18 And treating someone like this and then waking up and crying to your mother to get some auditing and sympathy is not really a good look. So get your [ __ ] together and grow the [ __ ] up. You've barely got a hairline left. Okay. You say, "I genuinely like Victoria. The number one thing is that I don't want to hurt her." It doesn't matter how many times you call Victoria does not mean you respect her. Okay? Just cuz you use the full name does not mean that you've afforded any sort of thoughtfulness to this this this girl.

1:00:45 And now he's like, "Oh, I just don't want to hurt her." Like, I don't care how many times you say, "I don't want to hurt her." You already have done the thing. It's too late. It's you've done it. You've been a piece of [ __ ] You lived up to everyone's expectations in the worst way.

1:00:59 Yeah. So, now it's like a relaxing day. Asia's, you know, using scissors to cut a pizza as you do. And u Max is talking to Scott and being like, "Oh, she loves you so much." Uh, love. I love the way she is speaking about you. I'm like, "Wow." You know? Oh, it is like how my grandfather thought spoke of bombs that he was about to throw Nazis. I love love, but I also love rebellion. I also love waving a big flag. And I love stealing bread for my family. It's like, Max, you're just doing miserable. So I am. So,

1:01:39 I need to make a poo. And Scott's like, "Oh god, she's always talking about poo." So then uh in their room, Joe and Nathan are talking and Joe's like, "Kissy says that I kissed her." And Joe's like, "Ah, fuck." He's like furious. He's giving him this look. Joe's like, "It wasn't a I just was like, it was just like a quick peck." I'm like, "You claim you don't remember. So, how are you going to explain what sort of kiss it was?" So, Nathan is mad.

1:02:08 Yeah. Like, I'm disappointed. It's clear the man doesn't learn from his mistakes. And now, I mean, didn't you just make out with Gizy two nights ago? What the hell are you talking? I mean, I know he's not technically with Gail or whatever, but you're still calling Gail and being like, I miss you. I wish I could see you.

1:02:26 He's like, so now to see him playing with V, it just doesn't float my boat. I don't think it's cool.

1:02:32 So, now they go out and um uh Si is getting while they're going into their van, Sandy gets a response from a deckhand that says, "Hello, Captain Sandy. Yes, I am available to come on board. Oh no, I dropped an anchor on my foot again. Classic Gail. It's going to be a surprise. So, um, now everybody wants to be as in love as Scott and Asa. And Max is like, "Well, Gabby is good, but she teaches me how to don't care, you know, just to [ __ ] and don't care, which is good. It's good."

1:03:07 So, Nathan's like, "So, you [ __ ] her?" Oh, no. Oh, no. So, uh, now they go to this place that they're going to and Kathy and Max are kissing and they are at the tableau de Carmen where they're going to see flamco dancing and Nathan uh, Nathan's like, I remember this place. I came here with Gail. Let's show a clip. Oh gosh, I can't I can't believe what a time it was. Now here I am alone having this memory without Gail. Gal Gal Gal Gal Gal. Do you think he knows Gail's coming back? I mean, he's he's got to know.

1:03:44 I suspect he knows because the whole thing like, "Oh, I can't believe a boy is making out with a girl when he when she's, you know, when he's committed to some other girl." I think he's he's trying to get on Gail's good side, I think already.

1:03:57 Yeah. And um I also firmly believe that the producers scanned his social media and saw that he went there and was like, "We got to we got to do this here. We got to go to the Flamco place." Also an unsolicited review from our notetaker Shelby who says uh that Tableau Darman is really cool. I went there on a trip in high school in 2010. So wonder if Nathan was like I remember when I was here in high school. Oh my god, I jumped into someone else's body. Oh my god. So [snorts] huge endorsements for Tableau to Carmen.

1:04:26 So uh he's now having he's spiraling cuz he's remembering what it was like to be there with Gail, you know, just that supermodel he pushed out of his life. And so

1:04:35 yeah. So Max wants to kiss Kathy and she's like, "You make me feel like I'm the only person in the room and that there's only very little oxygen left which you are currently taking up." And it just makes me feel like a million dollars.

1:04:48 So um that's romantic. I still can't believe she's into Max. It's weirding me out at this point.

1:04:54 It is weird because he's very he's just so peppy leu like just all over. He's like a like a

1:05:00 a squirrel just like going around a tree over and over again, you know, climbing a tree. It's just

1:05:05 he just reminds me of like a 14-year-old. He actually reminds me of like a 13-year-old. It reminds me of like when I went to my cousin son's bar mitzvah and like all the little boys all like the 13 the man I should say 13 years old uh were like you know playing football on the dance floor and they all like pile onto each other. They all like work themselves into a tizzy. I'm like that's what Max is. Max is just like he's just a hyperactive kid on a dance floor at a bar mitzvah. That's And I'm like how does Kathy like that?

1:05:32 Yeah. But um then we see this amazing flamco. I love this flamco. This lady was in it. She was dancing up a storm and like and um

1:05:42 I just love the drama. It's like the stamping stamping stamping. It's like Yes, it was great. And Josh starts to cry because he loves the artistry of it. And he's like, I'm going to put this into my food. So next time you see an omelette, just know I swirled a three few times and encanted from the my gut.

1:06:07 Like why do we have shell in our eggs? Why? It's like I stomped it. I stomped it. That's why.

1:06:14 He's like, I would like to I would like you to enjoy your lobster benedict. So Joe, he's like, I don't know what the [ __ ] they were saying, but I sobbed at that trio. And Joe's like, "He was going, "You're the love of my life and I've done you wrong." And then she got like upset. And she's like, "That's hilarious. What a funny show." So, um, girls, we're just trying to think of where Scott and I are going to sleep. And they're like, "Oh, just take the queen." And she's like, "Well, I'm sorry cuz I know you guys made the bed in the first place. I'm so sorry."

1:06:51 M. So they get the they get the main room and everybody's [ __ ] on the boat. So they do have to actually discuss it, you know, cuz it's not like most seasons where there's one couple who automatically is going to take it.

1:07:03 And now V is texting Joe in the van and she's like, "I miss you." Um, nose-blowing emoji. And then Nathan uh afterwards is like, "I'm going to go see [ __ ] girl after this boy." Like really? He's like, and they'll and Josh is like, "Well, why the [ __ ] do you say that?" He's like, "Well, you know, oh, cuz ga Joe is upset because Joe doesn't like Gail." Because again, another uh beautiful facet of Joe is that he is was a dick to Gail for really no reason just because he's like insecure guy. And Nathan saying Scott and Aisha and like how they were so happy seeing each other and it's kind of just like sparked something in me. You know how it makes you rethink of what's important in life and then obviously going to the flamco thing. Oh, the memory just came flooding back to me.

1:07:47 flamnco, etc. So, he's getting nostalgic. Uh, also, it's that he's just not attracted to any of the girls on board. So, he's like, "Oh, yeah, there was that super hot girl that like I was actually in love with, so maybe I should go back to that." So, now they go back to the uh boat and Asian and Scott go get dirty. And Nathan, after just being so romantic, is like, "Smells like salami." And then uh Max goes with Kathy and she's got a face mask on. And he's like, "What is this? Huh? Are you robbing a bank?" And um uh actually I think he said, it was very funny. He said, "Are you robbing to blend the bank?" So then V texts Kizzy and she's like, "Hey, thinking about you on the boat. How's it going?" Cuz you know there was a producer that was like, "Hey V, why don't you text your friends? See how they're doing asshole." Yeah.

1:08:38 And she's like, "Yeah, thinking about you on the boat." Barf emoji. How's it going? Blow-nose emoji. And then uh she's like, "H, I feel bad. She's texting me." Yeah, cuz you texted her. Why are you acting like she's just such a troublemaker this one? And Joe's like, "Oh, [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] fuck." And he closes the door and she's like, "I do feel like a really bad person." Well, that's good. Um cuz you are. And Joe's like, "Yeah, same. I'm going to tell her." And she goes, "Oh, for [ __ ] sake." And he's like, "No." And then he just leaves.

1:09:10 He's like, "Good night." Yeah. And then Scott um Scott has to leave for the airport. So Scott and Ha say goodbye and Asia's like there have just been so many moments this season. I've just been like gosh I really wish that Scott was here and so to actually spend time with him like this is a moment they will cherish remember forever. Remember the time you put on someone else's uniform and surprise me your lingy headquarters.

1:09:34 Oh yeah. All right. All right. Stupid Sandy work again. Sandy. Yeah. Worked it. you you just got stuck by the the the bow of Sandy. So she's like, Nathan, Nathan, Bridge, Bridge. Okay, Nathan, I don't want you to go into this charter without another deck hand. Okay, so I'm bringing in someone that you know. She's really gorgeous. She's a model. You [ __ ] it up the first time. Okay, let's see if this time you can park the boat. It's Gail. He's like, "Oh, Jesus, I'm so nervous. I just burped up salami." No,

1:10:07 you know, for a short fill in position like this, Gail's a perfect fit. She's familiar with how the boat runs, familiar with the team, and we can break her heart when we tell her that Nathan made out with Kizzy, and then uh and then we can just send her on her way. So, it's sort of a perfect match for us.

1:10:21 And uh she says that Gail's perfect for this because she already knows the boat, she already knows the team, and you know, she's been working on vessels ever since. So, she's gained even more experience. Wow. It's meant to be. Wow. I just Cupided myself. Cupid got stuck by his own arrow. Jeez. Yeah. So Nathan's like goes up to Joe and he's like, "Bro, so V is not joining us as charter, but we have a replacement." Do we? Who is it? Who can I [ __ ] He's like, "No, it's Gail." He's like, "Oh, you're taking the piss, aren't you? You're taking the piss. What the fuck?" For the most part of last season, me and Gail, we were a good team until we started butting heads. No, you started butting heads with her cuz you were condescending and obnoxious to her.

1:11:01 She's not old. Yeah. Because he always thought she was getting like an easy the easier job because she's a girl. And he was like, "Yeah." We see the flashback to her being like, "You're a princess." And she's like, "And you're a dick." And um so then uh Nathan is telling Max and Asa. And um Asa's like, "Oh my god." So Kathy is asking Kizzy if she's going to get a cabin mate or if she's going to be alone. And I don't know who is it. It's Gail. We already know. So, it's raining and everybody's watching Nathan who's freaking out because he hasn't seen her in 10 months. And uh he doesn't know if he's going to get get a kick in the nuts or not. So, let's see. But I love that Kizzy has set herself up now to be on this boat with both Gail and V.

1:11:50 Yep. Um and I hope she gets her comeuppance. I know. And next week, it looks like Nathan is going to profess his love to Gail, which would be sort of sweet and lovely if um he didn't make me hate him over the weekend. Oh well, that's life. So, we uh we do have that to look forward to next week. And thanks everyone for being here. Be sure to follow us on Patreon and on Instagram and wherever else you may want to follow us or don't. You can live your life without following us. It's fine. It's fine. Who are we? Uh thanks for being here and we'll catch you on the next episode. Bye everyone.

1:12:21 Bye.

Questions about this episode

What is discussed in "Below Deck Med S10E12: Kizz and Tell"?

In order: 0:00 Below Deck Med, Elizabeth Rome, Jeff Lewis, Sirius XM; 10:00 America's Cup, Below Deck Med; 20:00 America's Cup; 40:00 Kizzy Kitchener.

What is mentioned in this Watch What Crappens episode?

13 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Jeffrey – Pagano, Joe, ALEXANDRA V, Asia, Below Deck Med, America's Cup, Jeff Lewis. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "Below Deck Med S10E12: Kizz and Tell"?

The episode runs 1 h 12 min; the transcript is about 15,057 words in 202 timestamped sections.

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