Married To Medicine S12E03: Paying, Attention

What this episode is about

In "Married To Medicine S12E03: Paying, Attention," the narrative centers around various social gatherings, notably Contessa's party, which initially lacks significant action but ultimately regains momentum, leading to engaging developments. The discussion highlights the dynamics of the group's interactions and the importance of lively events in maintaining the show's appeal.

Key takeaways

• Nothing screams elite event like a Marriott conference room—because who doesn't want balloon walls and beige carpeting?
• Beneath the glam, Contessa's party planning reveals a precarious balance between financial sanity and celebratory excess.
• Heavenly's son teaches us: sometimes, less is more—especially when it comes to quantities of potential future daughters-in-law.
• Friendship in reality TV is like a rollercoaster: one minute you're 70s grooving, the next you're dodging stink eyes.
• Nothing says 'successful parenting' quite like a baby voice demanding grandkids—take notes, millennials!

Who speaks in this episode?

• Ben Mandeler (Host) · 29 min speaking
• Ronnie Carum (Host) · 25 min speaking
• Allison Roman (Guest) · 4 min speaking
• Contessa (Guest) · 7 min speaking
• Toya (Guest) · 4 min speaking
• Heavenly (Guest) · 4 min speaking
• Quad (Guest) · 4 min speaking
• Simone (Guest) · 4 min speaking

What is discussed, and when

1. 0:00 – 10:00: Players Ball, Patreon, Ronnie Carum, Amazon Live
2. 10:00 – 20:00: Players Ball, Casino

Notable quotes from "Married To Medicine S12E03: Paying, Attention"

• That we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandeler and joining me today, the one and only Ronnie Carum. Hi Ronnie, how are you?

  about Ronnie Carum · at 0:28

• Well, the players ball, refers to an annual flashy gathering of pimps, according to Google AI, as many people probably already know this, originating in.

  about Players Ball · at 6:47

• It's all about. If they want to throw a PowerPoint up on the screen, I'm not going to stop them. So, she says this is going to be like the movie Casino because that was in the…

  about Casino · at 7:52

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

• Ronnie Carum — Person · Co-host · 2 mentions · first at 0:33
  Co-host of Watch What Crappens; provides reactions, jokes, and analysis throughout the recap.

Products & tech

• Patreon — Product · Platform for bonus content · 3 mentions · first at 0:11
  Patreon is mentioned as the platform where fans can access bonus episodes and a Discord community for the podcast.
  Our videos as soon as they're released instead of waiting for a week, head over to our Patreon. That's also where you'll find our bonus episodes and our Discord community. We love you guys.
• Amazon Live — Product · Live streaming platform · 1 mention · first at 0:46
  Amazon Live is mentioned as the platform where the hosts will be streaming live content related to the podcast.
  Today we are talking some Married to Medicine. If you listen to this in time, be sure to join us for Amazon Live at 4 o'clock on the West Coast, 7 o'clock on the East Coast…

Places & events

• Players Ball — Event · Theme of Contessa's birthday party · 7 mentions · first at 1:47
  The event is the central theme of Contessa's 50th birthday party, inspired by the historical Players Ball gatherings of pimps in the 70s.

Media & podcasts

• Casino — Media · Movie reference · 2 mentions · first at 7:56
  The movie 'Casino' is referenced as inspiration for the party's theme, though it's noted the movie didn't end well for its characters.

Full transcript with timestamps

0:05 Welcome to Watch What Crains. To get our videos as soon as they're released instead of waiting for a week, head over to our Patreon. That's also where you'll find our bonus episodes and our Discord community. We love you guys.

0:25 Hello and welcome to Watch What Crapins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandeler and joining me today, the one and only Ronnie Carum. Hi Ronnie, how are you?

0:35 Hi. How are you buddy? I am fabuloso. Today we are talking some Married to Medicine. If you listen to this in time, be sure to join us for Amazon Live at 4 o'clock on the West Coast, 7 o'clock on the East Coast, and then tonight, the last crappy hour of the year, and it's a big one because we have a special guest, Allison Roman, Cookbook and Preserario. She is uh joining us on crappy hour. So, please come join us while she joins us. And that's going to be at 5:30 on the West Coast uh or 8:30 on the East Coast live on YouTube and Patreon and Instagram. Uh it's all going to happen simultaneously.

1:17 So join us um and we're really excited for all of that. Plus also join us on Patreon where we have uh weekly bonus episodes and we do crapets on demand where you can watch these videos a week before they go on to YouTube. So uh all that fun stuff. patreon.comwatchwadgrains and today is married to medicine. Are you ready to dive into it, Ronnie?

1:42 I sure am. Let's do her, buddy. So, this episode is called the players ball. It's about parties. It's about I got worried. I have to say I got worried halfway through because we spent 15 minutes at Contessa's party where nothing was happening and I was like, "Oh no, Marriage and Medicine is falling in falling into some bad patterns." But then it sort of like pulled out the plane like lifted its nose and went back up into the sky and we had a really good episode. But for a moment there, I was like, "Okay, we're spending five minutes watching people arrive at the party and they all get funny little names and now we're spending another five minutes watching everyone comment on everyone's outfits at the party and then talking about what it was like in the 70s." I was like, "Why are we still at this party? Nothing is happening." But but the episode was actually a really good one despite all that. Never trust a

2:32 party thrown in like a Marriott meeting room like a conference. I know that was weird. Tessa's like, "Oh my god, this huge budget party. Welcome to the, you know, best western in conference room

2:46 with such lighting thing. She spent so much money on this elaborate balloon wall which looked great, but then the whole thing was like blatantly some business hotel conference room. Like there was the carpeting. You could see those walls. There was like it just nothing looked good. It didn't look like it wasn't like immersive. like why are you not at a club or something like that? It was such a strange choice for a party.

3:14 Yeah. So, we start off with Heavenly and um Heavenly's reminding us that no matter what you might have heard lately, her son doesn't talk to her, etc., she is a good parent and she's talking in her baby voice and she's talking to her son and she's like, "Am I going to get some grandkids, baby? Am I going to get some grandkids?" And he's like, "Well, to be honest with you, mama, I don't want to get this the wrong way, but I don't want like like a lot of girls." She's like, "No, get get one good one for your like your mama. Just get just get a good one like your mama." No, it takes money, girl. One of the girls you need. That's all you need.

3:50 He's like, "No, but I'm trying to What I'm trying to say is I don't really like a lot of girls."

3:55 I don't want to hear any more of what you're trying to say. Just get one girl and give me a grandson. Thank you very much. You're not going to come out while I am running for office on a most likely very conservative platform. Do you understand me? And then we have Simone asking a patient if she's taken her iron tablets. And then we have Brandy doing some stuff with lips and everything in her cosmetic urology practice. You know,

4:22 she's like, "Wrong, wrong lips. I came to the urology department." Still don't understand the connection to urology, but I will accept it.

4:32 She's leaving with um Laa mouth on her vagina. She's like, "Wait a minute. What did you people do to me?"

4:40 So then we go to Contessa who's dressed, you know, in 70s garb and she's meeting up with Toya, which is so funny because these two used to hate each other. And Contessa's like, "Do you like it? Do you like my look? You know, we're like uh we're 70s babies, baby. We're 70s." And Toya's like, "Yeah, we are, but we're not going to tell anybody. a little.

4:57 And Toya, by the way, gives Contessa the stink eye through this entire scene. And I'm like, Contessa, you realize that Toya is not really on your side for this, right? She's going to come.

5:05 Toya literally hates your gut still. And so, good luck with this. Toya is only being friends with you so you can yell at heavenly for her. And if you're not going to do that, she's got very little patience for you. I can tell you right now. Also, it's funny that Contessa is showing up in her 70s garb for this, but she won't show up to 70s garb for her party, which is 70s themed. So, I don't know. I don't know if she just got one Amazon outfit that she It's like it was used up or what, but damn.

5:30 Also, like I think also I think we're all entitled to throw ourselves a really nice party, especially for like a milestone birthday. It's just really hard to start this episode with her planning this massive party for herself on the heels of last week when she was like, I emptied out all of our savings. I cashed out all of our stock options, our 401k just to get this building up. It's like, so I'm like, what do you want me to feel for you right now? What are the emotions you need me to feel? Because last week you wanted me to feel sympathy for you for not having any money left. And then this week you want me to be like, "Yes, spend that $40,000 on your birthday party."

6:04 Yeah, it's a lot of money to spend, you know, but hey, I mean, it's housewives also, so maybe it didn't really cost that much and she's just saying that

6:12 because I mean, Marriott. Yep. Marriott. So, I don't know. So, she's like, "Well, I want to do a purple carpet or a red carpet." And Tori's like, "Uh, back in the day they did do a carpet. They did a soul trade line." And she's like, "Well, but you know, at the players ball, they had a carpet, baby." Okay, look at the space. It's so beautiful. God, just imagine someone talking about advertising revenue over there, someone showing a pie chart over there, a free coffee bar, possibly some croissants, maybe powdered eggs in the morning that are free if you're staying here.

6:47 Well, you know, uh, the players ball, uh, refers to an annual flashy gathering of pimps, according to Google AI, as many people probably already know this, originating in Chicago in 1974. And what few people realize is that this gathering of pimps often happened in a Marriott conference room. I know about the Players Ball because I have seen the musical The Life

7:13 and that's what it was. Oh, that's They all went to the Players Ball and I loved it. It was Lilius White at her best.

7:19 Well, rolled for the oldest profession. [singing] She was a tired tired hoe in that one. And that was the best song.

7:29 She's great. So, um Kessa is saying that that you know she's like, "Okay." Okay. So, she's saying hi to the um the the uh party planner and she's like, "I'm a 70s baby, so I really want to do a 70s party. So, I chose the theme players ball cuz I want it to be a lot of activities. I want people to come in in their 70s best, their furs and their suits and their amazing clothes and let's just have a good time. That's really what it's all about. If they want to throw a PowerPoint up on the screen, I'm not going to stop them." So, she says this is going to be like the movie Casino because that was in the 70s. didn't end well for those of you who haven't seen it. And um you know, so she just wants to have fun as I said in my invitation.

8:11 Roll that beautiful bean footage. And so um we see it and it's she has an invitation that's like, "Hey baby, you're going to come to the players ball." And then they open a box and it shoots out paper money at you all over your floor. Yeah.

8:26 I did not see him bend down to sweep up your floor on the way out. So, I would not be happy with this invitation. It's like when some someone sends you a gift, but it's in like a whole thing of confetti and then there's confetti all over your kitchen and then you finally get down to it and it's like a Snickers bar.

8:42 Like, really? Now I have to clean my kitchen. You cheap [ __ ] Yeah. It's like those those boxes that open up that have the fake butterflies that come flying out. It's like, oh, that's fun. You startled me and now I've got to clean up. Your invitation is somehow littered.

8:56 Yeah. Mass murder as well. Yikes. So, like dead. Thanks for the butterfly genocide in my kitchen.

9:04 So, Contessa is like, "This is going to be my first birthday party ever." And Toy is like, "Are you throw it for yourself?" "Yes, I waited almost 50 years to throw myself a party or if someone throw me a party and just never happened."

9:17 Well, I don't know if I should be sad or happy for you. I'm going to choose sad. That's more fun for me.

9:24 I'm going to talk about all the part the rest of the episode. I'm going to hit that Ugene has thrown me really big parties. Has he

9:31 Have we seen Eugene throw Toya really big parties? Have we? I mean, I guess we have.

9:36 I mean, I feel like we have. I feel like there was some like Greek gods and goddess party that they had in one of their recent houses or to get it.

9:44 Okay. I think so. I think so. I think I think I think Ugene is pretty good with this sort of stuff. So, um, Contessa's like, "What I'm thinking is we have a super long runway in the dance floor over there, and then, uh, we could also, where are we going to set up the coffee machines if anyone wants to have like a little bit of a coffee break? Is it by the water coolers? What? Like, what are we going to do here?" So, they're going to have like, you know, this is party planning, balloon wall, four decades of life presentation carpets buffet.

10:13 Yeah. So, she gives them 40 grand. And, uh, Tori is like, "What? That's your budget?" She goes, "That's too little, do you think?" She's like, "That's too high." And she's like, "Yeah, uh, contestant needs to finish off that office. How about that?

10:24 Do that." Yeah. She's like, "We're supposed to have an office in your office, so put your money towards that." And I agree. Like, this is a lot of money for such an uninspired space that like And also, she like spent all her money clearly on that balloon wall because she was not able to mask the conference room of it all by putting up curtains or even some myar, anything. I mean, a junior prom can make can make a play space look better than this one.

10:47 Yeah. So, she's like, "It's my party. I don't have to answer to you. And to like, well, I think this is great, but I don't want to have drama at your party. So, I think it should be positive energy. Okay. Which is why you're doing it in the conference room with phones that are still on cords. I guess it's like, yes, it's so 70s. It's so players ball. So, casino.

11:09 So, um yeah. So, she's saying Cadessa is saying that they um you know, people wearing 70s outfits are going to make uh make the party have lots of positive energy. And Toyy's like, "That's not true." She was like, "No, well, you have very low expectations of others." She goes, "Um, what fuds are you talking about, okay? Cuz you're not inviting our account group, okay, cuz they're not going to bring positive energy."

11:30 She's like, "I'm inviting everybody." But Tori does not like that Heavenly is invited. And she's like, "Last time I saw Heavenly, she was crazy, okay? And I hope her energy is good because that energy was thanked the other day.

11:42 Yeah, but you were also starting with her. I love that Tory is always like, I don't understand why Heavenly was so mad at me. Like she comes in full guns ablazing the first time she sees her. Anyway, nobody wants a peaceful Heavenly. Okay. No one does. Yeah.

11:56 Yeah. So, Cadessa's like, "Well, I would like to think that our group can put all their differences aside to celebrate me for the one time in my life I've asked them to do that. No resting [ __ ] faces like you're on Bravo. No one understands the concept of putting aside their issues to celebrate someone on the cast, especially not you, Contessa.

12:14 And Contessa's also one of those people who's like the one time I throw myself a party. I've never done this before. Like, oh gosh. So, she has that extra thing of like just poor me. I've never had a party before. Me, Contessa, never had a party. You've never had a party? Why don't I believe Contessa's story? I I know it's not even that big of a deal. I don't doubt that her husband has never thrown her a party, but I just feel like, is that true that you've never had a birthday party? I do not believe.

12:41 Sounds sounds curious. I also always after all these years, I always get the sense that no one on the cast actually enjoys contest. I feel like they tolerate her and they respect her as a professional, but like given like if there were no show, none of them would ever deal with her or talk with her. I feel like they just are like h it's Contessa.

13:00 I don't think so. And I think that they're so bored with her this year that because Contessa came back this year with a very positive energy. Was she on LA? She was on last year.

13:08 She was on last year. Yeah. So, I mean, I watched the whole thing, but like and that was an honest question. I really don't remember her there. But anyway, she comes back and so they gave her her grace year of coming back where they didn't really come for her too much. And she was very positive about her whole relationship because she's spent so much time on this show being negative about her relationship. So, this time she's like, "I love Scott. everything's great with Scott, not bitching about Scott. I do not want this to be about me and Scott. And they're not going to let her have that. They're like, "Okay, you're boring us. You've given us nothing. We're going to make you fight about your relationship status from four years ago. Okay, buckle up."

13:44 Yep. I just had a flashback to when they went to the Caribbean once and like was it that was it contest or was it a Toya where like Toya saw a dead crab on the sidewalk and like lost her mind? Remember that?

13:56 Oh, good. Was that crab? Um, so yeah, Cadessa's like hoping people can put aside their drama to celebrate her. And uh, Ty's like, "Yeah, that yeah, I hope they can do that, too." And Contessa's like, "Don't come in critiquing everything." She's like, "Yeah, just come in here to have a good time. It's going to be so fun. You just, you know, you just gave me a moment where I just thought back to like, wasn't everybody high back then in the 70s? Was everyone high? Can we get high before we come in here?" I think that's the only way we could enjoy being in this conference room.

14:25 Yeah. So, now we go over to Quad's house and um Quad is still very happy in her relationship and I just see things that she's happy about right now in about 5 years that are not going to be fun anymore. Like this scene

14:39 where she's like so baby are you getting something to eat and he's like Mhm. We see him sitting down with food and she's like as long as you don't eat my food. He's like I don't eat your food. She goes oh but you do. What do you have to say about that? And he's like nothing. And she goes, "Really? Why? Because you eat my food." And he's sitting there with a whole plate of like fish and rice. And she's like, "You're eating my leftovers." And she says, "This is the thing with leftovers. Don't assume that there's one refrigerator and this is my girl and everything is ours. I'm eating leftovers. That's what I'm going to eat.

15:11 What am I going to eat now?" And he's just sitting there with his leftovers like, "Fuck with me then. Tell me I can't eat this.

15:18 Tell me." Yeah. He's like, "Guess what? I have a healthy appetite. You want it 15 times a day? Feed me. feed me Quadmore. And Quad's like, "Well, he just shut my mouth up." Um, it I had that same thought which is like she's laughing off everything and in a moment they have a talk about like a bad breath situation and in five years it'll be like he eats all the leftovers and leaves nothing behind. What am I chop liver? I know I'm not even chop liver cuz he'd eat that too. He comes in smelling like a garbage disposal and expects me to love him.

15:53 Can't wait. I can't wait till it turns because right now she's like, "Oh my god, I love this. Maybe we'll get married. Maybe we'll have a baby." And then we start talking about the baby and she's taking hormone shots every day because that's no easy feat getting prepped for this. It's crazy. And um she has to give her shots I think a couple times a day. And he's like, "Well, you're going to take a shot? Well, I think you need to just take your shot because your hormones are already like crazy." And she goes, "Oh, does the shot make me have mood swings and rage?" And he's like, "Yes." She goes, "Not rage. I find myself crying a lot. That's not me being enraged. It's me wondering where did my fish and rice dish from yesterday go."

16:33 King and I are trying to get pregnant and we have a friend who basically got pregnant at 46 with triplets. And I said, "Wait a minute. Where's the doctor?" And she was like, "Oh, the doctor's in Ghana." And when I heard that, I just felt like that's where I need to be. So, basically, she's doing all this um this in vitro in Ghana, but she's having Jackie sort of do her labs and stuff state, which that sounds very intense to me, but you know what? Have your life.

17:04 Yeah. I mean, I think they do it the same anywhere, right? Is there like some special trick they use in Ghana? Like,

17:10 I don't know. Maybe spiritual connection. I I don't know. But I heard someone in Ghana had triplets. take me to Ghana. Well, I mean, a lot happened in other places. I don't know. I'd stay home personally.

17:26 I was I was just like that. Just maybe she's just like really aiming to hit status on an airline. I'm like that just seems like unless I'm massively uninformed, which I will I'm going to give a 75% chance that I am. I just feel like that's a really far way to go. But I understand spiritual connection. That's

17:44 I've just always wanted a literary child and I'm going to have a Ghana girl. That's so stupid. So he's like, I spent my whole life trying to dodge this bullet.

17:59 It's not a bullet. It's a blessing. It's a blessing in the shape of a bullet. No, it's a it's just a a straightup blessing that has no perceivable shape. You ever played Super Mario Brothers? Of course I'll play Super Mario Brothers.

18:14 Never see the bullet with bills. And they are blessings coming from Mario. What is your issue? Next you're going to try to eat the planteing plant. That was my planteing plant. So he's like, "Okay, just get your shot going so I can get ready for the next 24 hours of hell."

18:34 She's not going to love this smartass. And I'm telling you, yeah, like I in five years, she's gonna be going crazy with this attitude. She's not gonna like it.

18:42 Isn't this also kind of regressive, too? It's like, well, ladies PMSing, watch out. Ladies and hormones can't control them. I love when I love when guys do this whole narrative as if like guys are the most level-headed people on Earth. Like, hello. Uh, does anyone want to look at any of the wars that are around the world?

18:58 As you eat my driven by You're like, why are why why are women so angry as he eats the [ __ ] leftovers in her house? Um, yeah, but this is Married to Medicine and that's how they roll on this show. They're like, "Well, you know how women are. You get a bunch of women in a room together, you better duck and cover buddy."

19:18 Yeah. So, Quad is um saying by the way, right? No, I get it. Everyone hide in my basement bar.

19:28 So, Quad uh is talking about the the process and that's like exhausting. Uh, but despite all the side effects, it'll be worth it to be a mom. Which is interesting because in the be when the show began, like she did not want to be a mom, but she was also connected to Dr. Gregory. And I don't know if I would want to

19:43 Well, you want a little Gregory running around or uh doctor or a little whatever this guy's name is. Yeah, this guy. Definitely. I want this guy. He's going to come out with like a full, you know, six-pack. This baby.

19:56 I know. It' be like like have like a smoky voice like, "Hey, mama. Like some milk." You're like, "Whoa. Yeah baby.

20:04 Dr. Dr. Greg's baby would be like, "I'm a baby. I'm a baby man. So, King is like, "Well, if we get the results that we were seeking, it's definitely be worth it. If not, I could have bought another car." Okay, great. So, um, then Quad is doing the needle thing and she's like, "I don't I'm not scared of needles. I just don't like other people doing it now. Let me smell your breath. It smells like fish. Go brush your teeth for real." And he's like, "Well, you got a problem. You're projecting it on me. You better stop."

20:44 Is he saying that she has the bad breath? Yeah, you've got a problem and you're breathing it all over me. Brush your teeth King.

20:52 You just had all that fish. brush the fish away. I wonder if Quad takes it as a sign when she's driving along, happy in her relationship, trying to have babies with this guy, and she passes signs everywhere that says, "No king."

21:10 Britney like seeing that sign where it's just like, "Don't do it, Britney." She's like, "How dare you? How dare you?" But then it ended up being correct in the end.

21:20 I think that quad is digmatized. That's what I'm assuming. But actually, I haven't even seen his dick, but I really like him. I'm just prepared for her to hate him because

21:28 I know I actually have no problem with the king whatsoever. He seems all right.

21:32 He's like, and I like that he he went after Dr. Gregory. I I love that he basically stood up for quad with Dr. Gregory because Dr. Gregory is such a little twerp. So, uh, now we go to Brandy meeting up with contestants right before the party and Brandy has like her party makeup on, but she's still like in her regular clothes. And Brandy is like, "Hey, happy birthday." day cuz they're both like arriving at the hotel and she's like she's like oh my god like how's it going and Contessa saying cuz Contessa's already in her outfit. She's like I said let me get myself into like into my party mode and then the universe will feel it like yes yes I love it. Oh my god you're fabulous. We're going it's like very much like we are friends and I'm here to support you for your party.

22:13 And I'm highlighting this because it doesn't seem to go the other way around later on in the episode.

22:20 Yeah. And Contessa's like, "Isn't this amazing? Look at there's a record and it has my name on it." What? What? I'm 50 years old. I've never had a record with my name on it before. Oh, it's so great to have my my name on a current piece of media. So, uh, Contessa says, "You know, it would be so great if Scott was like, what can I do to help? It just doesn't connect for him in that way. He's a smart guy. He's just he's book smart. He doesn't have any common sense or seem to love me. I'm just saying. So, Contessa says, "Can I give you one piece of advice, Brandy?

22:56 How long have you been married?" She's like, "10 years." Okay. Don't ever say, "I got this." Cuz like like no, you don't have to. That's too much. Because once you do that, you're kind of like, "Oh, okay." Ry's like not sure exactly I know what you're talking about, but uh

23:10 yeah, she's saying, "Don't ever say I got this because you're creating a monster who will never do anything for you." And so she's like, "Okay, well, step up your underwear because they say panties for girls, so step it up in your underwear." Um, she if you talk to Scott, basically, she's saying. So Bry's like, "Oh, yeah. I'll talk to Scott for you. I'll talk to Scott." So Contessa's kind of setting it up with the girls and us in the beginning of this episode, like, "Yeah, I threw my own party, but I mean, Scott's not going to do it. I mean, sure, I would have loved for him to do it. He's just not really that kind of a guy. Wouldn't this be nice if my husband helped me?" Let me tell you something. Don't ever tell your husband he doesn't have to do anything for you cuz he won't. And then later when they're like, "Why doesn't your husband do anything for you?" She's like, "How dare you?

23:54 How dare you?" I know. So, Contessa does kind of set herself up for this all the time.

24:00 Yeah. I got a little distracted because I heard a very loud bird and I was wondering, is that bird on the other side of my window or is on the other side of Ronnie's window? And I literally got lost in that thought about where is the bird? And then I start to realize, well, that's a typical contesty. And you start thinking about birds instead.

24:18 Yeah. Well, you know, you would have known it would have been in my house because I would have been like, it's a bird. Oh my god, I'm gonna take a picture. Let me try and scream the bird right now, everybody. [gasps]

24:28 Birds never do anything for Catessa. So now Mimi and Angel are getting ready and Mimi is like, "Are you excited about the party?" And Angel's like, "I am, but I don't know what to expect." And Mimi's like, "Well, just expect the unexpected, huh?" because of big brother, right? And Angel's like, "Well, did you grow up in the 70s?" She's like, "What? No. How dare you shame me like that? I am from the early 2000s. I was born." So, uh, then Jackie and Heavenly are getting ready. And Heaven's like,

24:57 "Okay, so you got your bell bottoms on. Do you have your bell bottoms on?" I'm just saying my [ __ ] voice cuz I'm just going to be a fun, sweet lady running for office right now. Put on your bell bottoms.

25:06 I have got my bell bottoms on, honey. Boom. Boom. Boom. Let me see the shoes. Can I see the shoes?

25:15 No. It looks like we're back in the 70s, right? No. No. No. Jimmy Chew. What are you doing, Jimmy Chu? No, it doesn't look like that.

25:25 I really like the way people dressed in the 70s. I think they should bring bring that back. The platform shoes, the makeup, the afroentric, the centricity of it all. And so Jackie's like, "Well, I was young in the 70s, but I do recall it was free love, honey. We were very free sexually back in the day, but so was herpes and chlamydian hepatitis. So, we paid for that freedom.

25:50 Jackie, can we keep anything nice? Can we just have a nice party, Jack? I know. Jackie is like, um, let me just make sure all my patients feel shame when they come in if they've contracted any of these these diseases. She's like, you know what? I love stigma. So Heaven Heavenly's like, "Well, I got a waist trainer just in case, baby. Oh, I need that. What What are you going to do?" And Jackie's like, "That's cute. Why are you speaking in such a high pitch voice? Me? I'm not speaking. I don't know what I'm I don't even understand what you're saying right now.

26:20 I'm for Congress." Uh, so then we go to the party and we I knew you were going to have a problem with this episode when this [ __ ] started. When they started doing the

26:32 And I I actually was Okay. I was I held space for it cuz it's like they show up and like there are Steve. He's Silky Steve Supreme and Mimi Lady Silk Supreme. I'm like, "Okay, they're going to do the names."

26:43 I was like, "You know what? Just be chill with it, Ben." Rather than like just just enjoy it. Let it lap lap over you like a wave. The waves lap something. Just let it cascade over you. And so I was like, "Okay, this is fine." But I'm like, "Wow, this is a big cast and they all have husbands." So this went on for a long time. I'm like, "Okay." So when we finally get through it, I was like, "Okay, we got through it. We got through it. 2025. Ben is not going to get himself annoyed about things that don't have to be annoyed.

27:11 Just enjoy it. Enjoy the type face. Enjoy the consideration that the post department put into the fonts and the colors and everything." But then comes the remember the 70s segment. I was like, "Oh my god, now we got to listen to everyone talk about the 70s." Oh my god. Yeah. So they do that and um everybody comes and they get their names and um Quad is quadrophonic and um Toriya is talking to Simone and of course Damon arrives not dressed shows up. He makes zero effort. I mean if we're going to talk about a husband who makes zero effort is that one. I mean my god man come on you couldn't even get a wig.

27:51 I literally when I was watching it I just rolled my eyes like daddy and then I thought wow I just said daddy to the TV. So then um he's like He didn't wear scrubs. I'm surprised he didn't and be like, "I'm a doctor. The doctor from the 70s."

28:06 Unfortunately, the invitation says, "We don't want no scrubs." So, Toya is like, "Well, I spoke to Catessa. Do you know how much she spent?" 40 grand. 40 grand. Which is funny. Toya of all people who like just will burn money in a like, you know, in an oonie oven just cuz she can is now shaming someone who's on her 12th house in 12 years. It's like, can you believe it?

28:30 And Simone's like, that is a lot. If this is the first time she's throwing a party, she like, well, everybody's saying that because just cuz it's your first party, you got to spend 40 grand. I'm not I'm not spending 40 grand with my son's about to graduate in two, three years. No, we we need two green eggs. Two two every appliance we need two of but not a party. No.

28:53 So Simone basically says that she spent five uh $5,000 on the graduation party for Miles and Michael. And she says the most Simone has spent on a party is $5,000. Miles and Michael's graduation. And we don't need any damn balloons. We don't need a step and repeat. We don't need a photographer. We don't need any of that. [clears throat]

29:19 Uh I like that this show's kind of anti- housewives in a way. It's like they're bragging about how much money they didn't spend on a party.

29:26 I know. Well, it's it's like you have the professionals who are like, we are not doing that. Although Contessa is a professional. It's just sort of like you have Toya who is like of the housewives world and then you have Simone who is like of the pragmatic world, Simone and Jackie. and like they come together like what are you thinking? Although in this case they are aligned. It's like Toy Well Toya is not normally going to be the one to shame someone for spending $40,000. But she will shame Contessa because she probably has heard it 10 times more than we have about how much Contessa has no money and how the building that they bought is taking forever to do. Yeah, it seems like a pretty petty thing because they seem to be building it throughout the episode, but then I realized, oh, they're just teaming up to get Contessa because they're sick of Contessa coasting. I think they feel like Contessa's

30:13 coasting. So, they're like, "Okay, Heavenly's not here. Let's fight with Contessa." Yeah. So, Bry's like, "Oh my god." You know, I told her, I said, "Girl, you could have had a little wedding." And Toy's like, "Yeah, I mean, my wedding was $75,000." And Mimi's like, "In what year?"

30:28 Shut your mouth. Shut your goddamn mouth. All right, everybody. All the pimps and players in here, I want to make a lot of noise and give a round of applause to coffee service. We've only got two cars of decaf, but they will be coming around to Also, Contessa's behind the coffee. Contessa, hello Contessa, did you take any more soaps out of the soap dispenser thingy? Stop doing that when you pass the towels. Okay, the housekeeping wanted me to ask you. It's Contessa. The MC is like, "All right, everybody. Oh, your turn. Your turn. Oh, no. You Oh, okay. I'll go. Like, sorry. The MC's used to doing conference calls. This is new territory for him.

31:09 [gasps] The MC's like, "Contessa is here. Can I please have your Marriott rewards number?" That would be great. Do not enter it on sign up. Just want to remind everyone to put your hands in the air because there are Snicker bars in the lobby. You can charge to your room. You will be charged for every towel missing from your hotel room. Just to let you guys know. Energy for Contessa.

31:37 There is a business center where you can print documents for a nominal fee. Yes, Starbucks is for some reason $3 more expensive per drink than it is everywhere else. Enjoy, Contessa, everybody. And just remember that after the party is the afterparty which happens at the gym which is 24 hours. The Pelaton is broken though. Must have a room key. So Contessa comes and she's like, "This is the party of my dreams." Really? Who dreams of that? Who dreams of a of a conference room party? I can't I can't with this.

32:23 You know what? I can't with this party. Like it just it was it was just the car. I could just see too much of the carpeting. Too much. It just was

32:32 I was I was hoping that when they when people arrived and there was the balloon wall, I was like, "Okay, this definitely looks like, you know, a conference room exterior, but when they get in there, it's going to be they'll be transported to a different world." But when they went in there, I was like, "This is this is where you have a seminar." It was definitely like a seminar seminar room. Like someone should have been up there talking about growth strategies.

32:56 Yeah. Something or something. Synergies. Scott is like, "Well, the price of the party was extensive. Um I mean, we could have cut the cake price in half, probably the food budget in half, too." And she's like, "Um, yeah. And then if we listen to you, we'd be doing it in the living room. So maybe the best thing for you to do was to stay out of it, which you did. And this turned out exactly how I wanted it." And he's like, "Mhm. Okay.

33:18 Yeah. All right. We should also mention that Scott is wearing like this wig that's like a little bob. This little like it was almost like an like um what's it called? A clockwork orange bob under his hat, which was uh I know what look he was going for, but it was just the wig was not really I felt like really knocking it out of the park. Yeah. A lot of the wigs were were rough on this one. So, um, Scott goes to talk to Cecil and you know, all the guys are basically talking and Scott's like, "Well, I tried, uh, Troy goes, "Oh, you did really good on this party, Scott."

33:54 And he goes, "Yeah, you know, I tried to help out as much as I could." And she goes, "Oh, really? Really? You did? You set this out." And Cecil's like, "Yeah, that was shade. She's uh she's not being serious."

34:04 And Scott's like, "Really?" She goes, "No, no, I love all the parties that you men throw. All of you men throw great parties." And they're like, Scott's like, "Well, guess what? we cut the checks. Okay. Which was not really the right thing to say. And she's like, "Oh, okay. I'll I'll go and ruin your relationship now. Have fun. Have fun at your party."

34:22 I know. I know. Um and then Scott says that he went and picked up the cupcakes today. So Heaven's like, "Well, I'm going to let you all know that these these 70s hoes have done a whole lot that you probably can't do. This area here got it. They got it all [ __ ] up." And Jackie's like, "Yeah, it's really [ __ ] up." I mean, bend down. When we bend over for our men, right? We'd bend over backwards for our man. You know, they don't want to do that anymore. These young girls don't want to do that. And I'm going to run on that platform, which is bring back bending over for your man.

34:51 Yeah, Heavenly. I love Heavenly coming back with a very modern platform to run on. Women need to be more like they were 50 years ago. Okay.

35:00 I know. Let's just take women. Women need to bend over for the men. Heavenly's time machine. Yeah.

35:06 Um and Angel's like, "Well, I bend over backwards for my man." And if he was a good man, I've got no problem with that. Bend it over, bust it wide open.

35:17 I think in a good relationship, both people are bending. It's just essentially like rhythmic gymnastics up in there, you know. So, Contessa uh now has an outfit change and she has long hair, sort of like share hair. And uh Curtis is talking to Eugene and he's like, "Hey, Jean, how's it going?" And Jean's like, "I'm good. I'm good." He's like, "Well, we missed you at the thing the other night." I love I love Curtis and his specificity. And Eugene's like, "Yeah, well, I've been working out of town. You know, I go to town. I work and then I come back and then I just got back yesterday and then I'm working I'm working at five different hospitals right now and they're all like two hours away." And you know, there's all, you know, all these different hospitals. But like at every hospital, the nurses are like, "Hey, can you come work here all the time?" And I'm like, "No, I can't because I can't afford to do that. I

35:58 need to carry five jobs all at once for I'm not going to say why I have to earn all this money, but let's just say house number 12." House number 12.

36:06 Yeah. And Curtis is like, "Whoa, only the nurses? What about the patients? What? Why are the nurses?" And Cecil's like, "Yeah, I want to see the nurses. I just I want to see the nurses who are saying this." And he's like, "Guys, you're feeding into that. Listen, nurses know how you behave and who they want to work with." And but they're all hinting like, "Oh, Eugene has got some game with the nurses. That's why they're beg." Yes, guys. The nurses are all creaming their pants over Eugene across the state. They're just like, "Yes, give me some more Eugene." They're all passing Eugene in the hallway like, "Hey, doctors that

36:45 I know, but also like why are these guys trying to act like this is scandalous? These are potential co-workers." Okay, in in an ideal world, the patient is out of there in like three or four days. Okay, if a patient's like, "Can you please work here all the time?" Then that's not I mean we don't want the patients to be in there all the time. We want it the people who are going to be in that hospital are going to be the nurses. Look at me taking up for Eugene. I'm like I'm like excuse me people please do not please do not try to create scandal around our sweet Eugene.

37:14 Eugene is like the only person trying to make it sound like Eugene is like you know lusted for by all the nurses. They're just giving but Eugene takes it very seriously. He's like no guys seriously. Seriously. They're like right stud. And he's like, "No, guys. Really?"

37:30 Yeah. And I like that like Toya is like, "What? What? What nurses?" And he's like, "Well," he's like, "Well, you might like to know that some of them are men." And she's like, "Excuse me, what are their names?" He goes, "Uh, Paul. There's a guy named Paul and he likes me and he wants me to come back and Cecil knows him."

37:48 So there. So there, Paul. Bring Paul on the show. Paul casting Paul. So Scott gives a speech. which is super romantic. He's like, "Hey, hey guys. Hey guys. Uh, thanks so much for coming. Uh, I don't know if my wife has mentioned this, but she's never had a major birthday party in her whole life. Isn't that crazy?" Let me tell you, she did so much to get this party going. It was great. It was just inspiring to watch it from the couch. You know, she's a really strong force in our household. Uh, I did just kind of call her a [ __ ] right now in the speech and, uh, I celebrate her for that. Okay.

38:23 So, also I want to share a really important story with you guys. Long time ago, before my mother passed away, we would watch movies together and she said, "You got yourself a rose from the Titanic." She would just let you die in an ice storm or in a in a iceberg.

38:39 I think drowning, I think. So, have fun with that. I think my mom's specific words were, "She's almost as [ __ ] as that woman Rose who took her top off to be painted by a stranger on a boat. So, I couldn't tell if the mom was like, "Yeah, your wife's going to let you drown while she goes off with Kathy Bates in a survivor boat, but he said she's like, "Rose would jump back on the boat for your ass just like she did on the Titanic." She didn't jump back on the boat for him, did she? Did she?

39:12 No. Is that an alternate ending? I think she just I don't remember. I think once people were off that boat, they were off that boat.

39:18 Pretty sure. Yeah. like she stayed with him for a while, but then when it was time to go, they only had room for the rich people, so she got on the rich people boat and then he flew he floated away on Driftwood until he drowned and died.

39:28 Well, maybe what it was, I haven't seen the movie in a while, was that weren't weren't the wealthy people going to get onto a lifeboat? And like Francis Fischer was like, we're we're doing this and she was like, "No, got to go back and save Jack." Maybe that's what the vibe was. All I know is I love when Quad was like, "Why why do we have to like go through duress to be seen as like a decent option?" Like like why can't we just why can't we just be awesome without having to like suffer through the Titanic?

39:57 Yeah. Like why are you bringing it back to the Titanic? Um yeah it's awkward speech. Like you're not doing great. You could have at least written a decent speech, sir. Okay. Because this one I was like so your mom hates Contessa because I really don't think any mom would be like Rose. Let me tell you one thing Rose did. She did right by Leo. Yeah. Is Rose considered like a feminist icon or like an icon of strength and fortitude? She threw the jewel back into the ocean at the end. I mean, that was obnoxious. People are looking for that thing. And it's also worth a lot. And you could have secured your your children's your grandchildren's future by just selling it for auction. You just throw it into the ocean.

40:38 I know. Rose looks all nice, but we didn't see her grandchildren's like crippling student loan debt, you know?

40:43 I know. She just throws away like $10 million. Yeah. God, I hate Rose. So Toya's like, "Um, so what are your pro uh what are you in prom gear and we're wearing 70s apparel, Contessa?" And she's like, "Well, it's my party and people need to be able to tell the difference between me and you and me and the rest. Okay, I'm just saying." Instead, they're just like laughing cuz she's with all the women outside and they're hanging out. And

41:07 it is funny that she showed up in a prom dress. Like she shows up in the sparkly like ice skating dress. Like why? You just look crazy. It's different if you tell everybody to wear white and you wear black or something. But it's

41:21 I liked I have to say I did cuckoo. It did. I did like her in that long I actually like both of her wigs to be honest. I sort of thought like when she has her like like the big hair I kind of I I actually enjoyed that look for Contessa and then when she had the long flat hair I also also enjoyed that. So I was really happy with the wig work personally. Um but Contessa's definitely she's taking victory laps at her own party right now. She's like, "This is a great party, right guys? You guys having a good time?" And um Angel's like, "Did you did you want your husband to throw it or are you okay with it?" She goes, "Well, I just said this is my last year of my 40s and I'm not going to leave my 40s in this first half of my life like with any regrets." And I think I just had a vision in my head. I said, "Marriott, generic carpeted floors, coffee machine, good Wi-Fi for Zoom calls that can be put on a big screen."

42:12 And I was like, "Boom, 50th birthday party." I wanted people to leave here and remember the glamour of a continental breakfast, you know, and I think I've accomplished that, you know, and I don't know if it would be if if I expected if somebody else planned it for me, you know, like if he did something in the backyard. I mean, no. I want people I want it to be somewhere where people can get drinks and food. And Troy's like, "But then why did you just tell him that and then make him do it?" She's like, "Um, well, I mean, you know, look, I've been waiting 20 years for him to do something." So, I just would be afraid it would wind up at a Holiday Inn, and I'm more of a Marriott gal, okay? I just want to take the age out of Bonboyage, hence Marriott Bonboy. Okay. And Simone's like, "Well, don't you all believe that from the beginning of the relationship, we teach the men how to think?" And Cadessa's

43:00 like, "Okay, remember that you just said you told everybody in this whole group that you teach a man how to treat you." Just remember that for a couple of scenes ahead because you're going to have egg on your face, ma'am. Dry, powdery continental breakfast eggs.

43:15 So, please don't remind me of so many Hyatt House breakfasts that I refuse to eat. In fact, I'm not going to act like I even endured them. I'm like, I will I shall not. So Simone is like, if the bar or expectation is low, they can jump right over that. And they don't move the bar, and we have to move the bar. Sorry, I'm just getting my late in the season uh Caribbean couples counseling, ready to go. So she says that her first Mother's Day, Cecil didn't have a card for her, and she's like, I got this little sucker over here and sucking on me, and you don't have a card.

43:52 So, and the contestant's like, "Okay, well, we can re-evaluate our marriages after the party, okay? Because why are we coming after my marriage?" And Tori's like, "No, no, re-evaluating our marriages. That's major." And she's like, "Well, he knows. He knows that I handle [ __ ] okay? And so, he just was waiting for me to handle it, and I did handle it. And so, I had a great party and I'm happy. And look how sexist you guys are because now you're waiting for the patriarchy to do it for me instead of saying, "Why can't a woman do something on her own?" And they're like, "Oh, geez." And Quad's like, "You better flip it." Because they're like, "Okay, that was well played. Make it seem like, okay, that this is we're all being sexist. That was good. That was well played." So Contessa's like, "It's my party." So they like, you know, it it actually they

44:34 It was actually fine. It was not a tense moment. And she like, "Don't worry, we'll try again the next scene, okay? But you have fun." And she's like, "I'm stomping off now." Like, "Oh ho ho." We're going to get her at the next one. Don't worry, girls.

44:47 Yeah. Also, poor Contessa. She throws herself a big 50th birthday party and it's only like in segment two or three of the episode. Wow. Sad. You don't even get the final segment. So now we go to Cecil. Simone and Cecil head to their sons. And you know I love their kids. I love I always thought they had like just the sweetest kids, but but those kids are also a little dumb because they're about to walk right into the They are about to do some dumbass [ __ ] and they're going to they're going to find out what happens when you do dumb stuff.

45:18 This is not played well by the kids. I will say that. Not played or Cecil. None of them played very well. They did not play this scene very well at all. So, um they're having family dinner night. The boys have ordered them food um as kind of a thank you for their celebration as a thank you for their graduation party.

45:42 And so they get together and Cecil's, you know, praising like the smallest effort, but he's like, "Wow, you guys got food? That's amazing." And they're like, "Yeah, we're going to microwave it." He's like, "Whoa, wow. You guys, you know how to use a microwave. You're doing so great. Isn't Aren't they doing great, Simone? She's like, "Mhm." So now, how does it feel to have one less thing off of your plate now that you've graduated?

46:12 Oh, you're talking about because we put the food in the microwave. No, not the literal plate. We're talking about it's a metaphorical one. Please keep up.

46:22 So, um, they're like, Michael says, "Well, you know, nothing. I mean, it feels like nothing." So, you know, I mean, look, let's talk about this. In high school, I got the Jeep, right? The Jeep was cool, but now we're starting to teeter towards the Jeep not being so cool. And she's like, "Oh, really? What makes a Jeep not cool?" I mean, she's just ready. She's like, "Really? You're going to start a scene by trying to trap me into buying you a car on national television, and you think that's going to work out for you?" She's like, "Oh, hell no." You can already see it raising in her. She's like, "No, no, sir."

46:54 This was such the worst way to start your plea for everything that you're about to ask for by saying like what you it was cool then it's not cool anymore. Oh, you say it's what you do is it doesn't it's not driving as well. It's it's not it's not efficient. We're spending a lot of money on gas and also it's going into the shop a lot and I'm concerned about the safety ratings and I'm afraid that if I were to get into an accident that I might die whereas in another car I might be safe. I don't know. you you appeal to parental things.

47:25 Don't say it's not cool. Simone is like looking at him like, "Are you kidding me? The the amount of time I waited for you and your brother to get your degrees." Although, actually, I think that um I think Michael like he finishes in four years, but Miles took took a little took a little time. And she's like, "I have been paying for your asses for years and years and years, and now you're going to complain that the Jeep that I got you that I didn't even need to get you when I could have gotten you a Toyota Corolla, you're going to say that that's not cool anymore."

47:52 And she's trying to keep her cool. She's trying to be like, "Okay." And he goes, "Well, I mean, it's cool still, but I'm just tired of seeing it. I know you're tired of seeing it. We're all tired of seeing it. Let's just get me a new car." And she's like, "Mhm, tired." Well, what we have to look at though is your financial situation to see if you could afford to make payments. Now, listen, I put some numbers on my iPad. I ran some figures for you, so let me grab that.

48:20 And he's like, "Whoa, whoa. I just want to say whatever you bring that iPad out, uh, just make sure whatever is on it, it's not going to cause me to pick up your pasta off your plate and feed it to the dogs. I was like, oh no, every line you are saying is the wrong line. Yeah. And what I loved is that she's like, okay, you want to have this conversation. I've already crunched the numbers. I'm more prepared than you think I am for this this situation here. I knew this day would come and I'm ready for it. Um, so she basically is like she wants them to take care of themselves financially, right? Which I don't think is unreasonable. And so, uh, Simone's like, "Okay, what I did was just calculate the Chase bill for the last year, month by month, and in January."

49:05 And Miles goes, "Mom, can I can I just stop you right there?" Like, "Oh, no. You No, no, no, no, no, no.

49:10 You open up this Pandora's box. You're going to hear about all the money that you kids have spent." It's like, why does this have to be negative? It's factual information. Michael spent over $60,000 by himself on his card. Whoa, that's crazy.

49:28 That's a lot of money for one year for a kid in college. A college? What are you doing in like that's a car? I mean, what how are you

49:37 like I just How do you spend basically $5,000 a month in college in college if you're maybe is there like rent? What' you say? Uber Eats.

49:47 Uber Eats every day. All their bills and all that stuff. Yeah. I mean, like I get it. Like if you're living off campus in an apartment, that's there's money there, too. But still 5,000 is

49:57 huge. Well, she bought they bought them an apartment. Remember we saw them buy them that apartment that they moved into. So

50:04 So, and a car. So, I don't understand this. This is this is crazy. So, he spent 60 grand and he needs to have a clear understanding about the value of money and the value of swiping just a [ __ ] credit card. So, he's like, "Whoa, the Chase bill." She goes, "If I were you and I wanted a car, I wouldn't be arguing with the person you were asking to buy the car, but that's me." So, have you been thinking about where you want to go to law school? how you're going to finance your education. And he goes, "Well, I do have a mother who makes pretty good money." I'm like, "Sir, this is not the time to be cracking jokes." And she goes, and Simone's like, "Well, I don't feel like I should be footing the bill for anything other than the roof over your head." And Cecil's like, "Well, when you start thinking about law school, graduate school, and so forth, if you're not getting any support, right? if no

51:01 one's helping you do that, it sounds like based on what your mom is saying that what your ideal situation would be. And someone's like, "Um, the only one here at the table with an actual doctorate degree is me and how I did it was I got scholarship money and loans." And actually, she's she's still very calm. She's just like, "Listen, I'm just telling you, you know, there's you're gonna you have to figure it out. Like, do the work, get the scholarship money, like apply for it, get a job. like you can do this, I did it, you can do it.

51:34 It seems like where she really loses it here is with Cecil, as we'll see in a minute. So, I'm seeing um he transferred from IT to real estate and he is involved in business ventures, notably the Kids Force app, which I don't think is a thing anymore. Yeah, I'm looking for Cecil to see if he is doing stuff like what he's doing for his job. That's like a

51:58 why are they coming for Simone? Like why is this all asking Simone about her money? Like where's Cecil's money?

52:05 Why aren't we talking about that? You know, right? So, um, so, so basically she's like, "Get the like she's like like what about like scholarship money?" And Michael's like, "Well, your mom wasn't able to do the things for you that you were able to do for us. I mean, what about all the rich white kids? their parents pay their way to go for everything and then they get out of college debtree and are millionaires. I'm like I actually totally understand what he's saying there. But the thing is you spent $60,000 on the Chase card and you're sitting here asking for a new car and like you like like clearly Simone's like you need to you need to learn how to figure stuff out on your own. like if he hadn't I think that if he hadn't been ringing up huge amounts of money, you know, in college and like showed sort of and some sort of like initiative to be like, I want to work towards this, but I need some help. She'd be like, okay,

52:56 it'd be like my honor to help you. Like, this is what we work for is to like younger generations. But he's just sort of like a kid who's just earning he's a dumb ass. Got stuff paid for. And now he's just like, can I have more money?

53:06 She bought you a car. She paid for your college. She paid for your house. She paid for your house that you live in, which is crazy. she's paying your credit card bill. So for you to come in here and be like, well,

53:16 you're making money. You're going to pay for it. Is just the dumbest move. I mean, you need to come in and be like, I really want to go to graduate school. I don't know how I'm going to work school and this at the same time. You know, you know, what's your advice? Should I get a part-time job, a full-time job? You know, whatever. Like, work with her until she says like, "Well, I can help you if you do XYZ." you know,

53:38 like it m your education matters to me, but like don't and also don't lead with the Jeep. Don't lead with the Jeep's not cool anymore, so I need a new Jeep. Lead with I'm thinking about my next steps. I would love to go to law school. Um, and I was wondering if I could get some help. And then she could say, "Well, you need first get a job. You don't have to go to law school right away. Start building up for your future. And then what happens is do that." And then I'm sure if you show initiative, I'm sure they would come in and be like, "We're so proud of you that we are going to help you." But the fact that he's just like, "Yeah, just give me the money."

54:07 She's like, "And then you're on TV. You're going to be like, you're going to put her in a position where she's going to look like she does not want to contribute to generational wealth." That's what he's basically doing. Like, you can see she's like, "This little punk that I raised, oh my god."

54:22 Yeah. And there are plenty of rich kids that parents are like, "We'll help you with XYZ, but you're paying for your college and you're doing I mean, you have to pass responsibility off at some point." Obviously, not everybody does, but it's not unheard of that wealthy people make their kids work, you know.

54:37 Yeah. And then Simone says, "Well, what about all the white people who pay for their kids to go to school, be debtree, and then they still aren't doing [ __ ] which is also, by the way, very fair point." So now, like at this point, it's like a it's still like a pretty chill like she's definitely getting like annoyed, but like it's a chill conversation, but then when Cecil's like, "Well, Michael's point is still a valid one. We are blessed. We are in a situation where we can like you know what you may feel that way but save it for the conversation afterwards in the bedroom. Right now it's like you have to you should have your wife's back Cecil

55:10 especially when your wife is carrying the load. Like this is crazy. It's like three against one attacking her for being cheap when she pays for literally everything. So, she is not going to lie. She does not like this Cecil jumping on his side.

55:25 And she's like, "If I'm dead before he finishes law school, then what?" And he's like, "Well, I mean, that could happen cuz God might take you away." My god, they're so bad at this. I can't believe how bad they are at negotiating. And Michael's like, "Well, I'm done talking about this." And she goes, "Oh, I don't care. Be done." And she is pissed now. And she says, "I'm tired of being the low man out. It's always three against one, which has been a complaint of hers this entire series.

55:54 And they're still doing it to her. And Cecil's like, "Well, I'm going to jump in now." She goes, "Do not [ __ ] jump in. Do not because you don't think like me." And he goes, "Well, after you speak, then I'll speak." And she's like, "You don't think like me. You don't support me on shit."

56:10 And Cece goes, "Well, where did that come from? It comes from the heart. It comes from the heart. The bottom line is you're so [ __ ] entitled is what this revealed to me." And then Michael, she's like, "I'm done. I'm done. I don't know [ __ ] thing for me. I'm done." And you know, Michael is like, he like runs away because it it's actually an interesting scene because you can also see the kids reacting to this. Like Miles kind of shuts down was just like staring at his plate. Michael just like runs away like this is not the first time that there's been like an explosive moment in this household. But also, Michael, you you caused it. Sorry. Like that was you were you you really messed up on this one. You really thought you were being slick.

56:51 Simone goes to level 20. You know, she's like gets up and then she's kind of in the hallway or the foyer or whatever. So, you don't really even see her on camera. You just hear her losing it and she's like,

57:01 "I am done. I don't owe you a [ __ ] thing from here. I have given YOU EVERYTHING THAT [screaming] I have to give."

57:12 I was like, damn. Yes. I'm just imagining I was cracking up and cheering in my house because I love when Simone lets them have it. It's like she stays there in this very like what else would you like to add to this conversation and she lets them get all their stupidity out and then she just lays into them. It's my favorite similar mode.

57:36 I have to imagine so many parents were giving her a standing ovation. I just have to I mean it was it was just so great and like I h I'm just I'm just imagining Michael's friends just giving him so much [ __ ] today. Like you're an idiot. Why did you ever think that was the way to achieve your goal? You're like you messed that up

57:57 big time. Big time. Don't move, buddy. Okay, so we go to Mimi's house. I'm so tired. I don't even I'm tired of Mimi, honestly. I don't I don't even really remember any of this, but uh then we go to

58:10 small thing quad working out at home um with her man and um she's doing a stair climber or something and he's like, "What are you trying to She's like, "What are you trying to do? Reverse the big back?" And she's like, "Did you say my back is big? I'm small in the waist and cute in the face

58:28 with the big back." And then we go to contestant in five years that's going to be clocked.

58:33 Absolutely. it will be clocked. Uh contested Scott setting up their backyard for something deeply uninteresting. And then Simone um arrives um at the so the main event which is we're at a hookah lounge and Simone shows up and Heaven joins her at the bar and she's like, "Hey, you look good today." She's like, "Girl, we had a family dinner that went all the way left and I got attitude because I'm not going to pay for law school and I never said I was paying for law school. I don't think you should. And me and him were going back and forth and Cecil was silent, too. And I just get tired of being the bad cop all by myself all the time.

59:12 Yeah, I understand. And I just got I just need a break from the people that last night went so hard. I just I just need a break. I got to congratulate hookah lounges for still being a thing. Like, how is that still something that is a thing? Like, I can't believe that has lasted. Who knew? But you know what? I didn't believe bottled water would be a thing either. Mac in the Bay.

59:37 Yeah. Really? I'm very sensitive to the smell of like fruity things. I hate the smell of fruity fruity smoke. So like a lot of incense is very like hard for me. And so a lot of and hookah lounges are very very fruity smelling. So I instinctively am just like you know and I just sort of like I just like it's like I really have a hard time with hookah lounges. Uh, so then Brandy comes and it's her birthday. She's 42 and she's like, "My hubby surprised me." He was like, "Invite your friends. I'm going to pay for you guys to eat, drink, and have a good night.

1:00:09 He's paying." Yeah. And she's like, "Oh, so your husband did this for you, but Contessa's husband did not do it for her. So, do you think that you should tone it down a little bit in front of people?" [snorts]

1:00:21 What? She goes, "Look, I can't tone it down because my man is my man. I mean, I got a good man. But also, I think that she's like, "Guys, drinks on me, right?" Like, I don't think this is a a a crazy ostentatious moment. She's like, "Yeah, my husband said they're coming for Contessa. They're just going to lay down this groundwork the whole time." So, then the other ladies come and um Tori is like, "Uh, don't don't feel dressed, y'all. You look just fine, Jackie. Look at Jackie." And she's like, "Some of us are professional women."

1:00:49 Right? because Toya's wearing like a Chanel like a shiny Chanel shirt or something like that.

1:00:54 But it's not even it's not even just that it's Chanel. It's literally sequined sequined logo that says Chanel across. It's looks like she bought that in Times Square. It looks ridiculous.

1:01:04 And she's like, "Oh, I'm the only one who got labels now." And weren't you just complaining that somebody was spending too much money on their birthday party? You are wearing one of the dumbest t-shirts I've ever seen.

1:01:14 Yeah. Congrats on wearing your overpriced, expensive designer wear to a smoky bar that's designed to be smoky and like fragrantly smoky. So then um so then Jack is like, "Well, some of us professional women have more places to go than a party." Toy's like, "Oh, so you're saying that the women that walked in aren't professional?" She goes, "I'm just talking about you, Toya. If professional means being you, then I want to be me. And she's like, "Well, I don't want to be you." Okay. Well, that's all I'm saying. Okay. Okay. We took over. It's Bry's birthday. So, look. Uh, first, let's get off some shots. And Heaven's like, "Well, her man is paying for this, so he said I can have all the shots I wanted." That's what he said. Sorry, Contessa. I'm sorry, Contessa. I'm sorry you didn't get any shots paid for for your birthday, but I got some shots right now from her outfit.

1:02:09 And Brandy is like, he did. He said you can have all the shots. I love this at Cadessa's party. I feel like we didn't get a chance to really kick it. And Cadessa's like, "Well, you know, that's the only negative about having a party is that you just don't get to spend quality time with everyone. That's why the next day I did a brunch and I said, "If I didn't get a chance to hug you, please come to the house." And I literally cooked from like 10:00 to the morning until, you know, 9:00 in the evening. And they're like, "What?" And Toya's like, "Where was

1:02:37 who do you know that stays at a brunch for for 11 hours? My friends want to be at my house for 11 hours? You kidding? Who did you invite?"

1:02:48 That was passive aggressive cooking. That was her being like, "Let's see how long I can cook before Scott offers to take over or to, you know, order in food." And so he of course did nothing. And so she sat there cooking until 9:00 making pancake after pancake.

1:03:00 Yeah. But also, I don't want to celebrate you two days in a row. You know what I mean? like you had your party. Glad it was fun. It's over now. Let's all go back to real life where it's not your birthday every day.

1:03:10 So, um they said, "Well, where was Scott the next day? He can cook." And she's like, "Oh, he was outside smoking cigars, of course, but you know what? It's okay. I really enjoy taking care of people." Yeah, but who's going to take care of you? She goes, "You know what? I think paying for that party was Scott taking care of me, so that was his way."

1:03:28 And Brandy was like, "Um, okay. Uh, hello. Hi. Sorry. I uh I just want to bring it back to me for a second. It's my birthday, you know. And Tori's like, "No, not for a second. It's it's a whole night. It's your birthday." And she goes, "Well, my husband and kids are on the phone." So, well, everyone look. And she brings up, they're on FaceTime. She goes, "This is my husband and all my kids. They just want to say and so they want to say thank you." And everyone's like, "Oh, thank you guys." And uh Contessa is like, "Happy birthday, Brandy. This is an amazing party." And um Brandy keeps on saying like, "Thank you over and over again to like her kids." like, "Okay, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you." Which in my mind, I thought was her way of being like, "Okay, we're going to wrap this up. Thank you again. Okay, bye guys.

1:04:10 Bye. Bye." You know, when you do that, but then they're like, "Why is she saying thank you so many times? What's wrong with her? She's saying thank you so much." Well, she is. I mean, look, I will agree with Contessa that it is getting a little like, okay, I've got my whole family on the phone. Okay, say thanks to my family, everybody, cuz you're getting your free drinks and your free dinner.

1:04:30 It is a little weird. Uh it's a little over the top than just being like, "Okay, come to my birthday." And I picked it up, of course, because I'm hosting a birthday party for myself and I'm an adult. You know, it's like, "Okay, let's thank him again. Let's thank him. Let's keep thanking him." And part of me was like, "Well, aren't you you own your own business, so it's not like you're poor and your husband's just giving you this money. Don't you have a joint account? Like, what's happening here?"

1:04:54 But, um, I didn't think she was being mean-spirited or anything, but it felt a little weird. And now they've been kind of attacking. Well, I don't want to say attacking, but they've been coming for Contessa and hinting at her relationship sucking. Um, and so she's like, "Well, um, happy birthday, Brandy. Yeah, this is an amazing dinner party." Mhm. But, you know, can we pray to God or do we have to pray to your husband for thanking him for the food as well? And then Heavenly gives her first evil heavenly hyena cackle of the evening.

1:05:23 She's like, It's like it's so it's so so high. Dog showed up outside my house. I was like, "Go away. Go away." It was so high.

1:05:42 It was very very big. Um so, uh so she laughs because she loves that Contessa just sort of clocked Brandy. And Brandy goes, "Okay, well, you're in your feelings. That's okay." that goes, "Well, no, we're thanking all these husbands a lot, and these husbands are getting a lot of credit for some basic shit." Like, he's buying you your drinks and your dinner. I think you can say thank you. It's not that.

1:06:03 Don't do that, Contessa. Don't do that. Like, I mean, we're in a strip mall, not a plaza, okay? And she's like, "Well, here's the thing. My husband paid for this and he's paid for everybody to come and have a good night. And my husband's amazing, so I give my husband props and I'll tell anybody. So, I'm sorry that you couldn't say that if it's a problem for you or anybody else." And she's like, "Well, I think you guys are the problem cuz did you hear my husband complain one minute about how much money that was spent?" And because the only thing that my husband did not do was plan it. But I'll be honest, if he would have done this for my first birthday party, I would have been underwhelmed. I mean, this isn't really even a birthday party in my opinion. Okay.

1:06:39 And that's where she just Oh, no. They baited you and you immediately fell in. They've been baiting you. Why are you falling into this? Well, I mean, let's And also her saying that like if if he had done this for my first birthday, I'm like, well, you're 50, so like the fact that he actually has not I'll tell you what he did for your first birthday. Nothing for the past several years.

1:07:01 So, you were you were underwhelmed and hungry. Yeah. So, um, so yeah, she totally now she's spiraling cuz she's obviously so unhappy in her marriage and she's so unhappy that Scott did nothing and she was trying to act like she didn't care, but now she's totally unraveling and Bry's like, "Okay, this is getting out of hand. Okay, this is a dinner. Okay, this is a dinner night. Brandy, okay, Brandy spent zero. My husband paid for it." And Cadessa's like, "Oh, well, I just I brought some money just in case. Don't worry. So, I can pay for it." And she brings out like this change purse with like lots of cash in it, which means that she was already ready to get she was already upset and she brought this c. No one brings c that much cash around unless they know they have a certain reason to spend it. This is we're essentially in a cashless economy. We're moved towards that. And you're only bringing cash out for certain specific

1:07:50 things, I believe. And so did you bring out a bunch? I saw 220s. I mean, oh, it looked like a it looked like a lot more to me than that. I mean, I don't know. Maybe I just projected it. Thanks for offering the 20 for the bill, Contessa. What the hell?

1:08:02 $5,000. But either way, I was like, you were prepared for this. You were prepared to come up with a bad attitude. And so, uh, Brandon's like, well, why do you have that money? She's like, so I was like, you brought you brought all your birthday money. And she's like, well, we have joint bank joint bank account. I have access. And Mimi's like, okay, put your point your coin purse back. Okay. Nobody needs to see that. And Quad's like, "The shade is real, baby." Quad's loving it. And so, and Bry's like, "Yeah, the shade's very real." Well, Contessa was upset cuz Well, what was I upset about?

1:08:40 About Scott not throwing a a party for you. And I don't know why you forgot. You forgot that he didn't throw you a party.

1:08:48 Well, why is it this paternalistic world where some man has to throw some [ __ ] for me? I make just as much money as him. And so this is where Heavenly is like, "Okay, well, not only does Contessa complain about Scott to her friends, and then she switches her story and she gets mad at you if you remember what she said the day before. And now I've learned to just accept it. Just stay out of her [ __ ] if you know any better. Now I just hint at other people to say it." Then I watch them fight. And Contessa's like, "Why are we focusing on the negative?" Contessa, you start You are the one focusing on the negative. Oh no,

1:09:21 you started it. These [ __ ] And so Toya's like all we are saying is that at the end of the day at the end of the day

1:09:31 you get nothing for nothing and that's all that's all that daddy can say for the life of the daddy.

1:09:38 That's right. I let you [ __ ] complain all the time about your husband. She goes, "Well, you complain all the time about your husband and it's [ __ ] not right, [ __ ] Now can we move on? Where the [ __ ] is the cake?" So Angel's like, "Um, this might be normal behavior for everybody. I guess that's what I'm learning." And then they probably will just start hugging and laughing. And then sure enough, they're like, "Okay, hugs, laughs." They're all laughing like everything's fine now.

1:10:04 And um so Simone's like, "Well, do you think that there is ever a time where maybe you are frustrated?" And um Heavenly goes, "We are." She goes, "Be quiet, Heavenly." Oh, sorry. [gasps] And Contessa's like, "Listen, we've been married 20 years, and if I spent all the time focusing on the negatives, I would be like my girlfriends who are out here still single, which is the worst thing known to man, a single woman. So maybe at 30 years, he's going to do some of those things that I've asked for." And she goes, "Oh, I've been married for 29 years. He is not going to do anything."

1:10:43 Like, trust me. I was like I was like, "Please enlighten her, Simone." Cadessa's like, "So, yes, it would be nice sometimes if he bought me a Rolls-Royce, you know, or something like that, but you know, I like the ring better." And Quad's like, "Well, some people here married and don't even want to be married anymore, and marriage just isn't that." Cuz Quad is like, "I have the I have the ring and the Rolls-Royce, baby, baby." And Simone's like, Simone's like, "Well, Quad, who here doesn't want to be married anymore other than me?" And they're like, "What? What? Yes, you do, Simone. You want to be married?"

1:11:21 She's like, "You have no idea. Don't say that. Don't say it. Do not make us spend another 4hour reunion fighting about you and Cecil. Please."

1:11:34 But Simone is like, "Oh, you don't understand how angry I am at this guy." And that's where it ends. Are they gonna get divorced? Is it heading to divorce again?

1:11:44 I don't know. I don't think they're going to get divorced, but those I I hope that she just goes back in there and calmly says, "You've proven to me that you were a spoiled little [ __ ]

1:11:53 and guess what? I was going to help you out with college, and now I'm not. So, good luck getting your life together. And you're lucky I'm still paying your rent and your Jeep. So, if you still want those, you'll shut the [ __ ] up, okay? And get a job." Yep. Well, that's where we end it. Everyone, thanks so much for being here. We will catch you later today and uh also all throughout the entire week. Have a great one, everyone. Bye

1:12:16 bye.

Questions about this episode

Who speaks in "Married To Medicine S12E03: Paying, Attention"?

Ben Mandeler (Host), Ronnie Carum (Host), Allison Roman (Guest), Contessa (Guest), Toya (Guest), Heavenly (Guest), Quad (Guest), Simone (Guest).

What is "Married To Medicine S12E03: Paying, Attention" about?

In "Married To Medicine S12E03: Paying, Attention," the narrative centers around various social gatherings, notably Contessa's party, which initially lacks significant action but ultimately regains momentum, leading to engaging developments. The discussion highlights the dynamics of the group's interactions and the importance of lively events in maintaining the show's appeal.

What is mentioned in this Watch What Crappens episode?

5 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Ronnie Carum, Players Ball, Patreon, Amazon Live, Casino. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "Married To Medicine S12E03: Paying, Attention"?

The episode runs 1 h 12 min; the transcript is about 14,936 words in 205 timestamped sections.

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