RHOP S10E13: Malice in Wanderland

What this episode is about

In "Malice in Wanderland," the hosts dive into a lively discussion about recent events in Los Angeles, including a car chase involving a stolen Kia and local crime incidents, while also expressing excitement for the new year and plans to cover updates from Bravo. The episode balances lighthearted commentary with engaging anecdotes, setting the stage for a captivating 2026.

Key takeaways

• In 2026, even car chases in LA come with a side of Bravo—how's that for multitasking?
• Kia thefts are so 2023; now they’re the unofficial chariots of crime in Los Angeles!
• 106 million downloads? Clearly, crappin' is a successful side hustle. Who knew chaos could be lucrative?
• Switching networks is easier than getting your mom to work her Apple TV—tech woes are universal!
• 2026: where annual resolutions include staying updated on Bravo AND avoiding abductions by flying helicopters.

Who speaks in this episode?

• Ronnie Karam (Host) · 43 min speaking
• Ben Mandelker (Host) · 43 min speaking
• Angel (Guest) · 17 min speaking
• Wendy (Guest) · 13 min speaking
• Jazelle (Guest) · 9 min speaking
• Ashley (Host) · 4 min speaking
• Monique (Guest) · 4 min speaking

What is discussed, and when

1. 0:00 – 10:00: Dartmouth College
2. 10:00 – 20:00: Washington School for Girls
3. 20:00 – 30:00: Mon'nique
4. 30:00 – 40:00: Uncle Lump, Love Letters from Versions of Myself, Mon'nique, Mon'nique Samuels
5. 40:00 – 50:00: Angel Massie, Mo'Nique, Mon'nique, Love Letters from Versions of Myself
6. 50:00 – 1:00:00: Mo'Nique, Mon'nique
7. 1:00:00 – 1:10:00: Mon'nique, Love Letters from Versions of Myself, Mo'Nique
8. 1:10:00 – 1:20:00: Mon'nique, Mo'Nique
9. 1:20:00 – 1:25:33: Mon'nique

Notable quotes from "RHOP S10E13: Malice in Wanderland"

• There's a sticker that says, Watch what crapins. and oh there's a Dartmouth College. I was like oh that's oh that's my Kia.

  about Dartmouth College · at 1:42

• With the ladies, guys. Wendy is speaking at a commencement speech for the Washington School for Girls, and she's Good morning, everyone. I am Pam Olive and Pam Oliver and it is…

  about Washington School for Girls · at 10:18

• Yeah. because we just got a text from Mon'nique and I think we're being invited somewhere. But yeah, they're basically going to try and make this whole thing like Teemo's an evil abusive husband cuz that's what Jazelle likes to.

  about Mon'nique · at 29:47

• Yeah. So, now we go to Ashley who's throwing a party for Uncle Lump. Woohoo.

  about Uncle Lump · at 36:40

• Acting like you're a totally different person. I don't want a totally different person. I want the same Monique just maybe not hitting somebody. You know what I mean? Like just…

  about Mo'Nique · at 41:58

• I did I looked up last night. Of course I have to say what books has Angel Massie written and first it tries to say did you mean Alan Massie? That's not happened. What books has Angel Massie from Real Housewives of PTOAC written?

  about Angel Massie · at 47:02

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

• Mon'nique — Person · 18 mentions · first at 29:49
• Mo'Nique — Person · 12 mentions · first at 42:01
• Uncle Lump — Person · 6 mentions · first at 36:44
• Angel Massie — Person · 4 mentions · first at 47:07
• Alicia Kay — Person · 2 mentions
• Tia — Person · 2 mentions
• Mon'nique Samuels — Person · 1 mention · first at 30:22
  Memoir of self-discovery, transformation, healing, written by Mon'nique Samuels. So, it's going to be this it's going to be a book reading that they're going to be having…

Books & papers

• Love Letters from Versions of Myself — Book · 3 mentions · first at 30:15
  But Mon'nique has invited them all to a sip and read. And she says, In preparation for the release of Love Letters from Versions of Myself, a memoir of self-discovery…

Companies & orgs

• Bravo — Company · 3 mentions
• Acast — Company · 2 mentions
• Dartmouth College — Company · 1 mention · first at 1:43
• Washington School for Girls — Company · 1 mention · first at 10:22

Products & tech

• Kia — Product · 3 mentions

Sponsors

• State of Ease — Sponsor · 1 mention · first at 47:38
  Angel Massie is associated with nature and mindfulness and is launching a podcast called State of Ease. Well, oh my god, I'm I'm in a state of ease already knowing that this…

Full transcript with timestamps

0:05 Welcome to Watch What Crains. To get our videos as soon as they're released instead of waiting for a week, head over to our Patreon. That's also where you'll find our bonus episodes and our Discord community. We love you guys. Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crappins 2026 edition. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben over there. Hi, Ben.

0:32 Hi, Ronnie. How's it going? Good. How are you? Happy New Year. Happy New Year. It's a It's a brand new new year here in Los Angeles. You know what? Even the entire world, too. It's shocking. The new year happened over across the entire world. And I am so excited to dive into 2026 with you, Ronnie. And there's currently a car chase happening outside my place. Helicopters are overhead. It's an exciting time here in Los Angeles. It's a great way to kick off.

0:59 Someone stole a key. You know, there's a black stealing still. God, Kia are so hot right now. Yeah, there's It literally was a black Kia that is being chased around uh the streets of Los Angeles right now.

1:11 Burglars love Kia, guys. It's a fish. Yeah, there was um a lot of helicopters above my house last night, too, cuz somebody got stabbed down the street, so you know, it's we're keeping it classy. It was first stabbing on the street in 2026. That was

1:27 Okay, there's a little stabbing. I'm like I was like I'm like casually also watching this car chase. I'm I've got to close this window, but it's Imagine I'm like, "God, it's it's amazing. There's a black Kia that's being it's in someone stole a black Kia." And look, there's even some blue merchandise in the back. There's a sticker that says, "Watch what crapins." and oh there's a Dartmouth College. I was like oh that's oh that's my Kia.

1:49 I get my rocks off with aa sticker on the back. Well welcome to the show everybody. 2026 we're very excited. You know we did miss some stuff on Bravo but we will be catching up as much as we can this week. Uh it's an insane week here. I mean to have a break was so nice but to come back to this [ __ ] storm of work is crazy. There's so many shows on Bravo. PTOIC, Married to Medicine, Below Deck. Uh, okay, I'm already I already failed the quiz. Salt Lake City, Southern Charm, two version, two Persian valleys. Uh, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, the traitor starts. So,

2:31 and we have we have to assume The Traders will be a three episode premiere like it always is. So, we are going to have to meet out this content in a way that keeps us sane. But it will all be it'll all be covered. Don't you all?

2:43 It'll all be there. Yeah, at some point it'll all be there. But thanks for being with us everybody. We have also changed networks. A lot of you have noticed things on your podcast feed looking wonky or weird. We have left Wry. We loved Wry. Thank you Wry for a great time. We actually had in the three years we were with Wry for I think a little bit under three years, like a month short of three years. And in that time, we amassed 106 million downloads, which is insane. We had no idea it was that good. So, thank you. We had a great time with you, Wendy. Goodbye. Now we're with Acast. And um we love Acast 2. We were with them a long time ago. So, if things are looking weird in your feed, that's why everything will be normalizing this week. We're also working on getting an adree feed up on our Patreon. Adree will be still available. It will be moving to Patreon starting probably next week or

3:36 the week after. It's a lot of episodes to transfer over. As you guys know, we're on episode 3000 something. So, it's a lot to go, but it will be transferred over. Adree will be available. Join Patreon. That's also where you get all your bonus episodes and video content. We do all our recaps on video now. Those are at Patreon. So, thanks Patreon.

3:56 Thanks, Patreon. I'm actually really excited about this because um it's really nice to send people to one place for all the cool stuff. Before we had to send Adfree was at Wonder Plus and now there was this over at Patreon and now it's all going to be in one place. So, uh yeah, there is a bit of a transition. Thank you for your patience with that. Um you know, tech stuff things always get messed up. You all know when you get a new computer, we know you move things over

4:21 like, "Oh, this is great. I got a new computer and now I've got to redownload this and it doesn't and I have to remember my password." And it doesn't happen where what happened to my music library. So like we're we've just we're changing.

4:30 Oh, it's even worse. It's even worse. It's like when your mom gets a new computer, okay? Because we're your mom now. And so we get it. We're like, "Wait a minute.

4:40 Your mom gets a new Apple TV. The bane of every child. Your parents dealing with their Apple TV."

4:47 Oh yeah. Uh so you know what? We're going to we're going to make it. Everything's going to be fine. We're going to make it, guys. We're going to make it.

4:58 Everything's fine. It's going to be fine. But, you know, everything's going great. We have announcements for the crappies coming up. Um, a lot of good stuff. Tonight is Amazon Live and Crappy Hour, both. Crappy Hours is live at 5:30 Pacific time. Amazon Live is at 400 p.m. You can find links to all of that stuff on our bio. Um, the Crappy Lives are always on Patreon and on YouTube for free, and we try and put them on Instagram every time, too. So, just join us for there for that stuff. And that's enough advertising crap for now. Um, but whoever got that Kia, good luck. Good luck. Good luck getting away. And how amazing that you can have that long of a chase in LA traffic. Hats off.

5:38 Yeah, I woke up this morning and the helicopters were going. Okay. And now I Oh, I think they got them. I just went back to look at it and that the car is no longer on the is on the screen. So, I think they got them. Okay. Well, that's sad. Well, it's also appropriate. we should start this episode instead of me staring at a car chase. So, I'm gonna close that tab officially. Congratulations.

5:57 I love congratulations on getting your your car. I love people stealing like a lower budget luxury car as well. Love people are like, you know what? I'm going to get a nice car, but like sensible. I'm going to get it's going to be a sensible steal.

6:16 It's 2026, okay? People cannot afford to steal above a Kia level car, okay? Cuz those repairs on your stolen car are going to be expensive. Let me tell you something. Prices are out of control. I went to the grocery store. First of all, I went and I there was an apple. I I used um I tried to order something online. I tried to order grocery online. An apple an apple a single apple at the supermarket was $7.

6:43 Yeah. And then and then um uh I was walking through the aisles and I was like, "You know what? Time to like I went a little I went a little nuts. I went a little ham over over uh over the break like as in I literally ate like a lot of ham. And I was like, "Let me start to eat something. Let me like cut down my carb footprint." I was like, "Let me get one of those little boxes of Atkins things like the little nibbles." It's like caramel clusters. Zero sugar because it's sugar alcohols. Comes eight in a little box. $17. No, $18.

7:15 $18 for eight little things in individual wrappers in a box. It is insane. So, yeah.

7:21 Yeah. I was on Instacart this morning and um cream cheese was $10. Philadelphia

7:27 cream. This is crazy. Remember the days when we complained about eggs? Like eggs are nothing. Like eggs, that's

7:33 eggs are still [ __ ] ridiculous. No, I'm saying but like it was it was like, oh god, the price of eggs. It's the price of everything now. It's crazy. It's crazy. And so, yeah. So, I understand why someone's stealing IKEA.

7:45 Well, our Patreon is staying the same price. So, there. Yes. Inflation is not hitting our Patreon. [ __ ] inflation. I can't. Well, we'll just laugh as the world burns, as we always do.

7:56 It's actually less inflation. It's more tariffs. But guess what? No tariffs on our Patreon.

8:01 There's both. There's both going on. It's It's [ __ ] everywhere. But you know what? When it's [ __ ] outside, it's still fun inside. Okay, just come in here and laugh as the world burns down. What? What can you do? Nothing. There's nothing you can do. I'll tell you what you're not going to do. Eat cream cheese at my house. We're having dry bagels here. We're having dry bagels this week. And we're going to laugh the whole [ __ ] time we eat them.

8:21 Let's not get crazy, okay? Cuz like if I'm going to be spending some money on tariffs, it will be on the cream cheese. I'm not going to lie. I will.

8:28 Unfortunately, they got me there. I am I am busted. I will I will do I will pay tariff cream cheese. Yeah.

8:34 All right. Well, if anybody expected us to get to the point today, it's not going to happen. Okay. We just had a week off. We're so relaxed and we don't give a crap about anything. We're not going to even talk about this show. We are. We are going to talk about this show. It's Real Housewives of PTOIC season 10, episode 13, Altitude with Attitude. Uh this episode, Angel finally, you know, tries to lay down some law in like a stupid hat and uh it doesn't really work, but it's very funny watching her try. I am so entertained by Angel, which is weird because she's like one of the least entertaining housewives of all time. She's just like a she's so bad at it, but it's just it's the circle. It's the loop around effect.

9:16 She's so bad at it that I'm like I get excited to see her scenes to see how bad she will do if that makes sense, right? Like she's so like she's such a flop. Like, you know, like Ki Kier's also really bad at this too. Kier's having a terrible season, but she's not like entertaining to I'm like, "Ugh, it's just Kier doing the Kier thing again." Like, literally standing outside a billboard that's advertising a beer called Apricot Blossom and being and then like watching it flip over to her salon and acting like she won an Oscar.

9:45 But meanwhile, like Angel trying to be like like I'm a bad [ __ ] right? She just so she's so bad at it. And watching like the old guard just just eat her up every single episode is hilarious. I mean, it was funny that she put Ashley and Jazelle in a shitty room. You know, I I don't think anyone's like rooting for those two this season. Everyone is everyone loves watching them get their comeuppants, but still, Angel's just so bad at this. It's hilarious.

10:14 Yeah, fun times. So, um, let's catch up with the ladies, guys. Wendy is speaking at a commencement speech for the Washington School for Girls, and she's like, "Good morning, everyone. I am Pam Olive and uh Pam Oliver and it is truly a privilege to be here today. Um it's not just the end, it's the beginning of my child sentence hopefully soon. Let's see. Keep in touch. Keep in touch. So she does that and then uh we go to Stacy and Arabella who's cutting a $30 apple.

10:48 Yeah, it's a shame. That was that was that was definitely a that was a tariff apple right there. And Stacy's like, "Hiraabella, you have to use your left hand. Why would you use your right hand? You're left-handed? You almost chopped your hand off, Arabella." She's like, "Um, mother, I'm ambidextrous. I play sports with my right hand and for cutting with knives and then I only write and draw with my left hand." She's, "How did I not know this?" Talk about dexterity. Talk about utility. Talk about both hands. I think Arabella is faking it.

11:25 I think she just I I think she came up with that at the last second. Yeah. I don't believe that she's ambidextrous. I think that it's not that she couldn't be or you need some special superpower. I just think that she's trying to be cool cuz she's on TV. And I get it. Like I was a kid. I was always trying to come up with things I was really good at or things that I was really bad at. And like I pretended that I couldn't skip. Like when we were learning to skip, I was like, "Can't do it."

11:46 Like that was my thing. I skip my I skip from my Lou. Um all the teachers were so confused. They had a parent teachers conference. They were like, "He can't skip. We we we can't figure it out. He can't skip."

12:03 I have to say, um in gym class, we would like when in first grade we would skip to my Lou, right? They we'd sing that song Skip to My Lou and skip around the auditorium. I loved that. H the first time had to sing the song and skip to it. That's ridiculous. Skip to my Lou, right? Isn't that the song? Like,

12:20 skip to the Lou, my darling. Right. Yeah. And we would go around in a lap, skipping in a lap.

12:26 Oh, wow. And I loved it. That's like the first time I was gay. I was prancing around doing like, "Yes, queen. Skip to my loop. This is my jam."

12:35 Um, skip into my loop, [ __ ] I'm skipping into my Louis Vuitton. But, um, what I was going to I don't know. Arabella had that sort of sm that she had a little smirk on her face like stupid mother with her one-handed utility. What do they call it? Handedness. What do you call handedness? Either way,

12:51 single handedness. Stupid stupid sathp mother. But she was so proud after that. Almost as proud as Kiera, who we now see as I just mentioned. She and her mom and um Greg and Angel and but no hot brother. Hello. How do we have a family scene with no hot brother? Like I'm

13:12 Who wants to see who wants to see a hot brotherless billboard unveiling? That's some [ __ ] I don't care.

13:18 Why is the billboard not your brother in a speedo just reclining? Why is it not that? But um instead we have Greg and Kieran's like, "Well, I want to thank you guys for all being here for this special moment of my entire business journey. I've literally always wanted a billboard." So she's really excited. She has a billboard, which is cool. I mean, I would It'd be fun if we had a billboard. You know, it'd be also kind of embarrassing. Maybe one of us be like,

13:39 "What' you say? buy one. It's not like they're awarding billboards, you know what I mean? She's acting like she just won something. You bought a billboard. I mean, congratulations. Could you at least b buy one that they painted onto the thing?

13:51 I mean, it's not the same one as a dig. Sorry. I want a hand I want a hand placed. Like, you know how they put the wallpaper up and you see the guys up there and it takes them like a day to like glue it and then you're like gluing over somebody's face, you know, like the the personal injury attorney's face. It's like you're going over him. That's when it's important. Like you flick on your your Photoshop picture, your Canva

14:15 and know that's that was what's so funny. She acted like she was getting a billboard in Times Square, like it was sponsored by Unilever or something and she like the NASDAQ building turned into a picture of her face and it's like no, it was like the apricot the apricot brew whatever it was called apricot blossom brew that was available at the mall just switched over and now everyone at the intersection of like Route 36

14:37 and you know like Pebbles Pebble Lane can now see this billboard. But I just want to announce I want to thank you for I just won this refresh eye drops. Um because we have won a Google ad. We now have our own Google ads. You guys, I'm so proud of you, man. I'm so proud of you. And Greg once again is like trying his hardest to have a a personality and b like be supportive of this. He's like, "Uh yeah, I am proud of you as well. and I see you deserve uh like all you were working on the late nights and you deserve all the accolades you get. So, I just want to say I went to the drugstore and here is another empty picture frame. I did take out the picture of the couple that was in there, but I'm not going to put a picture of us in it.

15:24 Um yeah, so she's really excited and we're dicks, but I mean I guess that's cool to have a billboard.

15:28 That's what I'm saying. It is cool to have a billboard, but like they really are. It's like girl, you're on TV. You're already on some a much larger platform.

15:37 Yeah. You've been on for three years. Yeah. So, they're excited. Uh so now, um Tia, uh and her family are doing that thing where you drive up to an old house that you used to live in. You're like, I lived in this house.

15:51 Um and I don't like when people do that. I think it's so annoying. Heather Heather Dubro just did it. Like, if anybody came to my house and said, I used to live here, I would be like, yeah, I still get your [ __ ] mail. Would it be would it kill you to do an address change, Isra? Would it?

16:05 Yeah. Well, um she is here and she's arrived at this house and she's brought um her sister and her kids and one of the kids has like a has like a um Capri son. I kind of feel like if I'm going to someone's house, I don't know if I'm like bringing in beverages also. I don't know why.

16:25 You don't know what you don't know what you're going to get at that house. I don't trust your water. No, I'm just saying like I just I just feel like I wouldn't bring Maybe it was offered to the kid. I don't know. Like I just feel like I don't want to bring in any Capri Suns. So, um just specifically I'll just bring my own Titos but not a Capri Sun. Yeah, this

16:44 I just want in a stranger's home that I asked to go into, you know, I felt like this is I don't like when people do this. No one's ever done it to me, but I don't like when they do it on TV. It makes me uncomfortable. Like, I want to be able to live in my house without you being like, "Oh my god, this is the living room my dead dad used to watch golf in." Like, I don't want to have to think about your dead [ __ ] dad, bro. Like, I'm trying to watch like he did rivalry. Like, I don't care about your dead dad. I shouldn't have to care about your dead dad. I have my own parents having issues. You know what I mean? Like, don't leave that on me. But the good thing was they got the karma of the um overly saccharine sweet white lady as the host. And I I loved that for them.

17:24 Yeah. but who's also slightly passive aggressive. Because how many more times could she say, "Well, next time ring the doorbell. If you see it, ring the doorbell." Why would you ring the doorbell? Like a good person would ring the doorbell. How many times?

17:36 So honored to have you here, please. Whenever you pass, come by. Come by for some wine, honey. No. Look what you brought into your life, Tia. Look what you brought. And now that this woman has your number, and she's going to use it, too. This woman is going to use it. She's gonna be sending your your daughter cartons of [ __ ] Capri Suns because she saw it one time.

17:56 I hope you like Jonathan Livingston Seagull because she's sending you a copy very soon. I'm gonna tell you that right now.

18:01 Jonathan Denningston Seagull because that's all they want to talk about. People who died and where they died in this house.

18:07 Um I uh you know what I also couldn't stop looking at in this house? This is obviously a house from the 80s that's been revamped or whatever, but the this they have this big staircase in the center of the house. It's a spiral. Not spiral, but it's like a winding staircase. But the banister was like this thin like white white rot iron banister. I feel like I think we need a some a banister rehab cuz it felt like it was that was a hold over from like 1983. And I think we need a better banister. Did you notice that? Was I the only one who was like saw that baster and was

18:39 No, those stairs were ugly. I don't know why they even shot by those stairs. And you know, a lot of housewives homes, they won't shoot the whole home. You'll only see the kitchen and the living room and that's it. and sometimes the bedroom for packing scenes. And this is why because banisters

18:51 we haven't really improved banisters that much. Yeah. You and and yet at the same time people are like car companies are obsessed with reinventing door handles and it's driving me nuts. So annoying.

19:06 Can we focus on banisters instead? If we're going to revamp a design, can we focus on basters? Cuz now every new car, how many Ubers do you get into where you it's like you're trying to get out. You're like and you're like pawing at the side of like where the [ __ ] is the door? It's like oh

19:18 you have to like press the button that's over your head and that reveals a little latch and you turn that latch and that reveals a button. It's like it's like what happened like a simple like a handle. Like we did not have to change that. That's

19:30 like you have to play Jaka on your armpit to open the passenger side door. Like what the [ __ ] bro? Let me out of the car.

19:37 My car's faults. No, it's all of them. My Well, you're right. It did start with

19:42 it started with Tesla being clever about how how to open a door. Yeah. Yeah. But mine you have to push the door handle in to get out. And can I tell you? Of course. Like I got it cuz you just learn it once, right? And you're fine. But whenever my dad gets this car, he cannot get out. He keeps pulling the door handle. Pulling the door handle. Why can't I get out? Yeah, cuz I'm trying to keep you in here, Dad. Push the [ __ ] thing. You've been in this car 30 times.

20:05 Like nothing is intuitive. The handles on the outside are a little crazy. The handles on the inside are a little crazy. And yeah, I've learned them, but I just don't I'm not I'm not old and crusty. I'm just saying I don't see why we had had to like reinvent a very simple lever.

20:22 Yeah, but we can't reinvent banisters. Like fixers. Fix the banners. Let's get a better banister design. Okay.

20:29 Yeah. Okay. So, uh she goes through this house and she's she takes her sister there and um basically Tia wrote a blackmailing. She's like, "I wrote a really nice emotionally blackmail email asking for permission to go see the house." Uh, and it's her dad's old house, and she moved to DC to be by her dad. And she says her dad hated England, but love DC, and he would call her Mona Lisa because she always she was always moaning and complaining, which I liked. Uh, so she talks about how great her father was. Did her father have a family on her mother or did he divorce the mother and then go have another family? I forget the story.

21:10 I I I'm not I got this I can't tell. I got the sense that there was no I got the sense that there was overlap because on the last episode that's what they were talking about was that Tia has told her kids that like there's another like that she has a sister cuz the dad had a um had children with another woman but that her kids have not figured out the timeline yet implying that there was overlap. So yeah I mean seems great.

21:39 Yeah. I mean, look, I get loving your dad and stuff and especially once he's gone and giving respect and everything, but I the whole idolizing your I don't know. I I I was I'm still mad at the dad.

21:51 Is that fair? It's not even my dad and I'm still mad at the dad. I'm still mad at dad. I I just really enjoy being mad at some of the people on these shows. It's feels great. It feels great. I'm like riled up about the handles thing now that like I'm going to be angry at everyone on screen. Like I'm angry at this lady in her overalls. I'm angry at her sons. I'm angry at whoever came up with the font on the booklet that we see. Like I'm just now it's now it's unleashed.

22:16 So I feel the same way. And I'm not only mad at her dad for what he did to Tia's family, but also for not fixing the banister. You know, it could have started with him. He never made he didn't make positive choices there. I said

22:28 he Yeah, that the banister really needed to be I I really I I I hope they I hope this lady considers um a banister redo. So um this So Tia's very emotional. She starts to cry right away and she's, "Oh, I didn't think I'd cry." Says, "Sorry, last time I was here, my dad was with me." And everyone's like, "Oh." And and you said that he died eight years ago, right? Okay. Did you ring on his doorbell then? Cuz you didn't ring on my doorbell. Okay. Next time ring on my doorbell. Okay. Like, oh yes, but I've driven by here a couple of times with my mom and taken pictures and it would be weird to knock on the door and I thought it was weird to email you. So, I'm so happy that you responded.

23:07 Yeah. Um, and she did respond. She not only responded, she's made up a bed for you cuz you're never leaving this house. She's like, "Oh my god, I love having you here. Do you like breakfast? What do you like? Do you like puzzles? Let's do a puzzle. Get get me the [ __ ] out of this house." So, they look at the house and stuff. And I guess it's nice. Um,

23:27 it is nice. It's nice. And then like their uncle calls and then like at this moment um Amamira her sister uh goes into a room and like one of the sons has like a little like note like a little book of of like daily affirmations and um one like the the book has been propped open to a certain date apparently like that's the one he likes the best and that date that it was propped open to is the same day as their dad's birthday. So Tia just starts to like she just starts to cry because it feels like a sign and yada yada yada. So it's like a very emotional moment for her.

24:03 Wow. Yeah. And it says the praise should be directed at the performance and not the person.

24:10 So it's basically like like what does that mean? Stop taking all that credit, kid.

24:15 Yeah. I'm the person who performed it so I'm taking the credit. I bought the billboard. I'm celebrating the billboard. There's no eye in team is I think is sort of what it's saying, right? Because it's also like an athletic it looks like it was sort of an athletic affirmation, right? Wasn't there like a swimmer or like someone doing track and field on this little affirmation?

24:35 I guess those people really never let you be happy with yourself. Athletes saying don't get a big head like like praise praise like

24:43 but there is an E in me. How about that? Mhm. And there's a and there's a there's a there's a there's a T. There's a T in towel.

24:56 There's an I in mine. So there can't spell team without eat as in eat it. Suck my dick. There's a suck my dick and suck my dick. Uh so Tia is talking about how um he her dad wanted his children to all be close and she fought him on it and she carries so much guilt. And here's what I was thinking about during this part. The scene is too long. Like it's nice and stuff, but I'm mad at your dad. The banister sucks. Get me out of the scene. Please do something else.

25:29 I I liked the scene, but the banister really drove me nuts. I'm I'm really glad that we agreed with that. The banister sucked.

25:35 It sucked. Emily, if you're listening, you seem like a lovely person. Get a better banister. It's time.

25:41 Seriously, you beat the change. You know what I mean? So, now we're There is a be in banister.

25:47 Yeah. So, now we go to lunch with Ashley, Jazelle, and Wendy. And it's like a competition to see who can dress stupider for lunch. Like, who dresses like this to go to lunch? And we I love Real Housewives. I watch every episode of every Real Housewives. But Wendy, where where are you eating? What are you doing? The only outfit we saw stupider so far in 20 and I'm going to see keep saying stupider even though I don't think it's a word, but the only dumber outfit we've seen in 2026 is in the next hour on Married to Medicine when Contessa shows up in that outfit for that purse party like or what what is happening on Sunday night? What is happening tonight?

26:29 Oh god. I'm joining the Carrie Underwood Sunday Night Football theme song for Sunday night to play football and watch the Steelers.

26:45 So Wendy is like it's a great game last night by the way guys. I do butch things like watch football and that game last night was cray cr great. So Wendy is like the fight that with my mom is really weighing heavily on me. So, I'm not one to naturally talk about my feelings, especially when it's about my mom. And that's the woman that brought me into this earth. So, I'm very delicate and with how I want to approach who I talk to her about, which really has nothing to do with anything that happens this episode. I think that was like some weird transition out of Les.

27:11 It's like, oh, I guess we should we should address that crazy scene that happened. Now, we've addressed it and now we can go back to being shady.

27:19 What was a good reason to throw in the clip of shut the [ __ ] up, Wendy. Which is all I really needed from the episode. Yeah, I really I we really need to have Why am I blanking on her name again? What's Wendy's mom's name again? Susan.

27:34 Susan and Vita. We need a Susan and Vita. We need to have like a family feud episode with Susan and Vita. And we can have Wendy and MJ come to the podium and it's going to be something like name something you might find at the beach. And MJ rings in and is like starfish. And Vita goes starfish. Why would you say that? Why would you say starfish? No. And why are you snacking? And then Wendy will be like, "Boom." No. Nostish. A seashell. Oh, shut the [ __ ] up, Wendy. Seashell at the beach. Your mother should be at the beach.

28:09 Add a little muzzy in there as the host. Be a perfect evening. Muzzy Harvey. Well, I I never approved of you going to the beach in the first place. And how did the beach turn out for you? We didn't go to the beach.

28:26 So, the girls gather to be evil about other people, which is the kind of lunch I love. So, they're talking about their their stupid party. Wendy's like, "All event was amazing." Your event was not amazing. Your event was store-bought potato salad and Popeye's chicken. Okay.

28:43 Was that a rec center? It was at a rec center. The only thing that was missing was a strange staircase in the middle of the room because that seems to be like usually the standard for any venue that they go to on PTOIC. Aside from that, like Yeah. So, it just feels like

28:56 it it was missing the rec center bulletin board for missing dogs. Yeah. I feel like every event that they have on PTOAC, there is a staircase. They either have to go up a staircase to get to a second floor cuz everything's on the second floor or for some reason there's just a staircase in the middle of the room. So, this was the the rec center just broke all the rules.

29:13 Yeah. Was it the same rec center that they had the fight? The the shrine center fight?

29:18 The shrine fight? The initial You know what? Honestly, don't even answer. It's the stupidest question of all time. Like, was that the same rec center that they shot a scene into years ago? Like, literally no one cares. So, Jazelle's like, "By the way, I just walked out the door cuz my feet were hurting." Which is my clunky way of saying, "Can we talk [ __ ] about Teemo walking out the door?" Ra. Yeah. And she's like, "Oh my god, we're not going to talk about my friend Teemo." Okay. And she says, "That's your friend." She goes, "Oh, he was so nice to me." And they're like, "Oh, really?"

29:47 Yeah. because we just got a text from Mon'nique and I think we're being invited somewhere. But yeah, they're basically going to try and make this whole thing like Teemo's an evil abusive husband cuz that's what Jazelle likes to do to husbands on this show. Unless you're Juan and like openly cheating on your wife, then she's all for you. But um

30:04 yeah, she's she's trying to uh throw some shade that I can't believe Teimma wouldn't want to hang out with us. So, uh, but Mon'nique has invited them all to a sip and read. And she says, "In preparation for the release of Love Letters from Versions of Myself, a memoir of self-discovery, transformation, healing, written by Mon'nique Samuels." So, it's going to be this uh it's going to be a book reading that they're going to be having uh hosted by radio personality D. Carter, who I believe has shown up on this show a few times. And Ash's like, "Oh, yeah, that's cool." And and Jazelle, they're just talking about this book launch. And Ashley's wondering if Angel and Kiera are invited.

30:41 Yeah. And um we don't know, but Angel might be in Colorado for the trip because that's where she really lives and she might be there getting things together. So now we're going to have this big Colorado trip where Angel's going to invite them all to go to her Wonderland retreats. And um

30:59 Wendy says that sometimes she's a wet blanket which sometimes Yeah, she's always a wet blanket. She's a wet blanket, which you could use in Colorado, like forest fires, you know.

31:10 Mhm. Yeah, she is. She is a she is she is the wetest of the blankets. So Jazelle's like, "Well, when she came around this group, uh, she swore up and down that she wants to be our friend. She wants to get to know us." And Wendy's like, "Yeah, she doesn't want to be our friend." Well, she wants to be in our lives forever. But I feel like it was all a lie. We were duped. But y'all, we're about to go to this woman's house. Um, so they're really now playing up this thing. Like I I don't think that Angel was lying and duping them, but Jazelle is going to play up this thing because clearly Angel's trigger is being called a catfish or inauthentic or duplicitus. So typical, isn't it? Yeah.

31:50 It's where Jazelle's like, "Oh, wow. I'm going to torture somebody for an entire season and make them feel like [ __ ] and then I'm going to say, wow, it's like she doesn't even want to be friends with me. That's crazy." Yeah, cuz you're an [ __ ]

32:04 Well, because also Jazelle is the type that's like she is going to ri you rib you a bit um and throw shade at you and see how you handle it. And if you like handle it well and give it back, she's like, "Oh, okay. You've accepted my love. My weird love language is I'm going to be shady to you." And if you accept it, it means that you've accepted my love language. I'm safe with you and you're cool and we're down. But if you're like Angel and you cry or you get mad and make Jazelle feel like a bad person for being shady, Jazelle is like, "Oh, reject, reject, reject. You're an awful person." So, um, that's really what's happened with Jazelle. Angel has rejected Jazelle's shadyess.

32:42 Um, and like in I feel like in a normal world, I don't think like you're like I don't think if someone's going to be shady to you, you don't owe it to them to laugh it off and be like, "Oh yeah, I'm cool with that." that like if someone's shady to you and you don't really know them, it's within your right to be like [ __ ] off. But also, you came on this show and like it's got 10 years of established shady behavior and you just cannot act so like blindsided by this.

33:05 Yeah, you have to be better at at dealing with it for sure. But it's just that Jazelle's always a jerk to people and then she wonders why nobody likes her cuz you're an [ __ ] And then she says things like this. Yeah, but like I don't want to be around Debbie Downer. You do a show with Robin. What are you talking about? Your best friend is Robin. Literally the the the the OG wet blanket. OG WB.

33:30 I've got a new business. I'm selling wet blankets. Embellished. That may have also.

33:39 Wendy says she's looking forward to the trip cuz she knows it's going to be a [ __ ] show. So, now we go to Angel who's uh packing suitcases into her car and she's talking to her sister and um she's talking about the house and you know, Bobb's so livid about the house and you know, it's just going to be good to get back to Colorado so that we can refocus because I've invited the ladies out to Colorado. Mhm. Yeah. She's like, I'm going to do like a private dinner and then we'll have a mezzcal tasting. It's this new beverage. This woman named Aaron brought it to the country. I can't wait to to show all the girls about it.

34:16 Yeah. And so she's like, "Yeah, Colorado's a safe and sacred space that me and my husband have built. You built you built Colorado."

34:26 She built it. That's like a huge credit. Where's your billboard? Yeah. It used to also be very flat. She's like, "I'm I'm putting in some mountains. I'm putting in a very large airport.

34:36 You know what? This place needs some elevation in some trees." And Heidi Montag. Yes.

34:41 Heidi Montag. I'll always remember when I signed up for Clear. I did it next to Heidi Montag at the Denver airport. Heidi and and Spencer were right next to me at the next little clear terminal and I was like, I'll never forget this moment. I was like, I feel so blessed to do this mundane task with Spidey next to me. Um, so Angel says, uh, that Colorado is safe and sacred, uh, as you just mentioned. And she goes, and then she's talking to she's she continued to talk about this. She goes, "I mean, they're saying I was evicted. I mean, I moved here that I moved here for the group. I mean, the proof is in the pudding. They can kiss my ass with that eviction comment." I'm like, "The proof of this pudding. You're literally being kicked out of your house, ma'am. The proof is a banana and the pudding is banana pudding.

35:28 It's banana peel pudding." And you stepped on it. She like, "They can kiss my ass with that eviction comment. You are You are kicked out of that house. I don't know what I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know if you were evicted or not, but later in the episode, she's like, "How dare you? I was not evicted. The lease just ended before we knew it was going to end." You What does that mean? That Why does Why does she just say it to women?

35:54 That's how leases work. She should just say, "We thought the lease was until the end of the month and it turns out it was not. We thought the lease was over like July 15th and it was over July 1st. We messed up. So now we got to go." But I but of course then everyone would say but why can't you get your two weeks added on to it or whatever and they just say there's someone else coming in so that's it. It was just like a clerical mistake. But the fact that she's trying to make it sound she doesn't want to admit that they did anything wrong that they messed up that they were they did something stupid. So she's like well we just the the lease ended earlier than we realized or whatever. I don't know why. She just she's responding in a way that just sounds like pure [ __ ] And that's why everyone's like, "Well, we're just going to say she got evicted and they keep poking at her."

36:40 Yeah. So, um, now we go to Ashley who's throwing a party for Uncle Lump. Woohoo. And some other people.

36:49 Ashley's really getting them all in there. You know, Ashley is like there, this is called a six to 60 party because we've got a six-year-old and a 60-year-old. And I'm like, guess who this is meaningful for? Neither one of those people. The six-year-old doesn't want to be partying with the six-year-old. And the six-year-old sure as [ __ ] doesn't want to be partying with some with Methusela over there.

37:08 Uncle Lump, you know, it's so funny watching Uncle Lump walking in the house. He's like,

37:14 "Oh god, time to shoot another scene with my niece where I give really good advice that she does not pay attention to." Or maybe I'll give it to my sister who will not pay attention to my advice. I'll just give more good advice on TV that everyone's going to ignore. Can't wait to celebrate another year of none of these idiots listening to me.

37:31 This poor guy, he gives good advice every single like good very simple advice every single year and no one pays attention to him. Yeah. Well, justice for Uncle Lump. His name is Lump. You know what I mean? Who's going to listen? Like, you need to have a better name. You can't call yourself Lump and then expect people to listen to you. Like, yeah,

37:50 I'm not listening to a person named Lump. I'm having that removed. Uh, so people, everyone's arriving. Uncle Lump is there. Monica, uh, and you know, we have this whole everything's on the wall like six to 60, yada yada. And so they all gather in in the living room and there's like a cake and Ash is just saying how it just really means a lot to that that they're all there and there's no tension basically because Michael's not there. You know, we see a flashback to really awkward moment where Uncle Lump is like, "Yeah, it's really great for us all to get together and have this dinner because, you know, we know how quickly bad news travels and Michael's like, whatever it means, you want to grab your ass, Uncle Lump, isn't it nice to finally be at a party that Michael's paying for that he's not at?" Uh, so Monica, Uncle Lump's wife, is like, "Wow, Ashley, can I just tell you? It means just so much to me to be

38:44 in your space and be in your home." What does that mean? Last time I know, Monica, you've been there before, haven't you?

38:53 Yeah. Haven't you been in her faux seaside resort house? Yeah. Well, they're saying because now Ashley's not even mentioning Michael. She's like, "Well, previously because of whatever relationships were going on between my exartner and my family, it used to be very, very tense. Uh, so, uh, now Sheila's like, "Oh, you know, um, Jessica couldn't be here, but I just want to be with you guys, my family. So, I know I initially told you about my partner who decided to go into treatment. You know, we talked about this, Ashley." And Ashley's like, "We did. Remember when I told you I was cutting you off unless he got treatment?" She like, "Yeah, that was

39:28 good conversation." So, the the uh the guy has finally checked in to some place.

39:33 Yeah. She's like, and yeah, she's like, and you know, this is like the beginning. It was like really hard for me. It was really, really hard. And then Uncle Lump is like, so uh so wait, what are we talking about? So we're talking about John getting treatment, and you know, you saw Sheila's face be like, we weren't going to mention his name on camera, but thank you very much. But uh yeah, and you see she's like regretting it. She immediately is like whatever she was announcement she was going to make, she just decides to cut it off because she's now like very glassy eyed and she's upset and and they're all like, "And it's a good thing. This is a good thing. This is a good thing for John.

40:05 Still hate this guy. We'll say we like him, but um hey, we're so we're really so happy for that piece of [ __ ] that he finally went to rehab all the years later.

40:15 What was actually crazy is we we see a flashback at some point of Ashley talking to her mom. They they had that fight in her kitchen

40:22 and that was 2018. That was like we're coming up on eight years ago that that fight happened. I cannot believe how long ago that was. Like this this the story about this guy needing to go to rehab. I cannot believe it's taken this long

40:34 and never having a job and just being supported by Ashley's mom and Ashley and Michael. Really?

40:40 And Michael, honestly. Yeah. So, I don't blame Uncle Lump for being like, "Uh, his name is John and he's a loser. Too little, too late, sucker.

40:49 Don't mention that very distinct name on TV. How will they ever find him?" So, so Sheila cries. She's like, "Uh." And um so Ashley's proud of her mom, you know, because that was putting a strain on their relationship and stuff. And then uh Ashley's like, "We love you and we love him, too." Which, no, you don't. And Ashley's like, "Yeah, he's never gone to rehab before. Uh so I'm proud of him." You know, 14-year-old Ashley has wanted this day for 23 years.

41:20 Yeah. Um so yeah, that's that's exciting. And then the cakes come out and now it's time to go to Mon'nique's event, a place called Olam. So Mon'nique is saying how she set everything up and she's good to go. People are coming in and she's really excited about her new book, Love Letters from Versions of Myself.

41:38 Oh no. And she Yeah, I'm sorry. But first of all, writing love letters to yourself is weird. Just masturbate like everybody else. Stop being such a weirdo about it. And second of all, I really don't like when people talk about themselves as versions because they did something that got them fired a few years ago. You're not a new version of yourself. This is just a different season. Stop. Stop acting like you're a totally different person. I don't want a totally different person. I want the same Monique just maybe not hitting somebody. You know what I mean? Like just amend the other Mon'nique. I don't need a whole different ver. I don't want to have to buy a new book of you every time you decide not to hit somebody.

42:14 You know what I mean? You know what's amazing? I actually have a love letter from a former version of myself. So, look, it says, "Dear future Ben, um, just finished seeing my 18th Dave Matthews concert. They finally played Dancing Nancy's. It was so good. I'm so drunk right now." Anyway, catch you later.

42:36 That was so nice of my to write that to myself. I just got a love letter from myself from three years ago. Um, Ronnie, you're fat. God, I was a [ __ ] Was really a [ __ ] Wait, here's Wait, here's one.

42:52 Oh, I'm sorry. That was from my mom. That was from my mom. Oh, here's here's one from an older version of myself. Um, dear Ben, just finished watching season one of the OC. What a great show. You're going to love it. Its entire run. Wow, that's a very specific that's a very specific letter prediction that I I made to myself back in 2002. I wonder why I wrote that to myself.

43:26 Oh, I just got a letter from myself from last year. This is actually nice. This version of myself from last year. Ronnie, just got a letter from mom. You're fat. I'm just not I'm not opening these letters anymore. Why would I even write myself? Oh my god. Oh, I just got one. I just got I just got one.

43:45 Dear be dear future Ben just had the most amazing time watching Kelly Dodd on Bravo. She is so funny and so great. I hope I can't wait for the network to embrace her and for her to be a legend and on the Future Housewives Rushmore. Wow. What could go wrong?

44:03 Um I actually did get a real text from my dad. This is the first text I've gotten from my dad uh this year. Well, I got one that said, "Happy New Year's. He's not a monster. But this one says, "I decided to have my car washed inside and out. $42. Ridiculous. Another good reason to buy a Lexus. They wash your car for free forever."

44:22 Okay. Well, I got I got a I woke up to this text from my mom today. That's current version of my dad.

44:29 I got I got this text from my mom this morning when I woke up and this is a true text. Ben: After consulting a few Indian cookbooks, I made my own version of Mulatani soup that dad and I really loved. I thought I'd share this recipe in case you want a hearty soupmeal on a dreary January day. So, P.S., you might notice that I've taken all Indian products out of this recipe.

44:49 Whenever moms say, "I made my own version of an Indian soup." What would you make? Chicken noodle soup. I don't believe you. I want to taste the soup.

44:57 I'm assuming that she mix multiple recipes together. You know what I would do? By the way, if I had a sassy Indian restaurant, I would call it a Megan Megan M Mulligatani Lens. Never mind. Oh, here's a note to myself from five minutes ago. Ben, I have this great Megan Malali pun that you can do. Please make sure you stick the landing. P.S. Ronnie's fat. Okay. So Monique Mon'nique is talking about her healing journey and she the reason she wrote this book is because I did not realize how many other women who had experienced some of the same things. So if I could be the version I so if I can be the voice for that person that feels alone that's what I want to be. So for

45:49 she called it not for lonely moms. NFL it would still be NFL moms. You're right. Yeah. Um, and she's um I love that she's just writing for every woman. Like for any woman who is married to a tens of millions of air um football fan who was kind of a jerk and who made poops bigger than the toilet. This book's for you. For any woman who has sex with her husband and emerges looking like a fruit roll up

46:26 or a piece of paper, this one's for you. Big man. Big man. Okay. So, um, she's been working on it and she's very excited. So, this is my favorite. So, Angel Elder Wag comes up to her and goes, "I am so excited for you. And as a writer, I know how hard it is to stay dedicated and keep going with page after page of your book. I can't wait to read it." As a writer, what where did this come from?

46:57 Hold on. Let's look up her book. I I did I did I um I I looked up last night. Of course I have to say what books has Angel Massie written and uh first it tries to say did you mean Alan Massie? That's not happened. What books has Angel Massie from Real Housewives of PTOAC written?

47:23 Yeah, she has not. Uh she has not published any books herself but was featured in a recent episode discussing Monique Samuel's new Wow, that's really fast. Yeah, it said Angel Massie is associated with nature and mindfulness um and is launching a podcast called State of Ease. Well, oh my god, I'm I'm in a state of ease already knowing that this podcast is coming out, but there isn't a widely known book titled Angel Angel Massie Book. So, what the hell? So I I looked it up last night and the search results said that she has done some writing but it was more like um newsletters or like um like unconventional publishing like like Z or not Z but like

48:05 Oh, I found it. I'm on Amazon. I went on Amazon and I looked up Angel Massie and the first result is called evicted.

48:14 Interesting. Interesting. Sounds good. Angel Massie. So, uh, it's it's a cookbook. It's a single ingredient cookbook for catfish. How interesting.

48:27 But to be fair, she doesn't say she wrote a book. She says, "As a writer, I know how hard it is to stay dedicated." So, you know, maybe she maybe it's like grocery lists, you know.

48:39 Oh, well, you know what? I've just gone right to the source. I've gone to her website to find

48:44 She has a website. Oh my god. I'm going on it right now. called the Angel Era. It's called the Angel Era.

48:49 Okay. It's called the Angel the Angel Eera.com/bio. I I do believe that she writes stuff, you know.

48:57 Well, yeah, that's different. I wrote a book, but that was that was my bad. That was my bad.

49:02 Okay. With confidence, journalists and mindfulness practitioner. With conf Oh, I see. With confidence, journalist and Okay. Well, there's a grammatical error in the first line of her bio. I hate to say it. As a writer, I know how hard it is to resist putting in a comma everywhere, but it says with confidence, journalist and mindfulness practitioner Angel Massie, okay, she has too many commas, so bad sign, I guess. So, she was a journalist. Brings edge, impact, and unfettered truth to her work. She started at BET News producing news interstitials. So, this is why she's sensitive about being called a catfish is because she she comes from news. And that's like the worst thing you can accuse a journalist of is not being um authentic or good with your sources. So, that makes a lot of sense. Oh, but next sentence. By 20, she had already written written RDL. The word is written already written and produced a documentary on

49:55 the network. Yes, we can. The Obama speech special. So, she did write stuff. So, seems okay. Yeah. Okay. She's a respected writer covering topics from music to politics, pop culture to social issues for national publications like Complex, Vive, and The Examiner. Okay, that's great.

50:12 Okay. So, she So, we're just [ __ ] Yeah, I take it back, too. I take it back, too. But I'm still waiting on the

50:18 She's still an [ __ ] because she's still an [ __ ] because she's promoting herself in this moment. You know, Mo'Nique has written a book. She's whatever it is, love letters. And for Angel to be like, "As a writer," she's sort of doing that thing like, "I do it, too." You know, and that's kind of like obnoxious. You can just say, "I I'm so excited for you. I know how hard it is to to stay dedicated and keep doing one page after the next." Like, it's, you know, I just just typical, you know, she's always ready to insert like promote what she's done, right? like as a wag as someone who's married to someone who was a starter for 10 years as an elder wag from an elder starter.

50:57 Let me just say I know how difficult it is to start. So congratulations on starting this event. Also she lists her favorite song as Wolf Gang Amodus Mozart Reququum and D minor. So there you go. Don't argue. Don't argue.

51:14 Uh so um Monique is wax for that one. Yeah. Yeah. the words really suck on that song. So, um she's talking about how long she's written this book and blah blah blah and she's been invited on the trip and uh Angel's like u well most of them are going to stay outside on the 36 acres. I'm not even going to let them into my house. And they're like even there like she can't just say well most of them are going to stay outside. She's like on the 36 acres. I'm like angels just you're trying so hard. So hard.

51:48 Yeah. So, um, now let's see. Stacy comes and Mo'Nique is saying that she's going to read first and she's like,

51:56 uh, basically everybody just comes. I don't know. I don't need to read every single thing. So, Mon'nique's like, I invited everybody because I want them to see the other side of Mo'Nique because they were left with a different version of myself and I'm so honored that they would come. And so we see clips of the incident with Candace. Not the part where Jiselle pushes Candace into Mo'Nique, which started that whole fight, which would have been fun. But um yeah, we're going to talk about all of uh how she's totally different now, which I don't really believe. I don't need you to be different. Just be the same Monique.

52:27 I believe Mo'Nique has perspective now. But this entire scene that she does, she did like a million times when she was a full-time housewife. How many times did she gather people together and then she would like read something or just like kind of like suck all the air out the room and like have like a faux spiritual moment like it was like a this was a very standard Monnique Samuel scene. So D Carter comes out and she says, you know, she introduces Mo'Nique and Mo'Nique is saying how she's been on a journey and so she's going to read she's going to read an excerpt. So she goes, she's like, "Well, one of the things that I always do, I I I always write love letters to myself, which is the title of the book." So this was actually one of the first letters that I wrote.

53:11 Okay, here we go. Okay. Dear you, be free. Free to think, free to be. Free to express with no shame. I walk tall. I stand proud. I call [ __ ] when I hear it. This is not a love letter. This is like, you know, honestly, quite lazy affirmations. This is for a lazy mom. Honestly, I think this could have been a postit. No, this could have been a postit on your

53:35 dear dear me, you're hot. I love you. I want to take you to dinner. Let's go to dinner to McDonald's and have a Big Mac and not feel bad about it and let's have five of those Big Macs. Oh yeah, let's do it. Like that's I think more of a love.

53:47 She keeps she keeps changing perspective. She says, "Dear you, be free. Free to think, free to be. Free to express with no shame. I walk tall." Okay. Are you talking to you or I? Who are we talking to? So Jazelle's just applying lip gloss, which is really funny. And because one thing that nobody ever needs on these shows is housewives reading. Nobody needs it. It needs needs to not happen. And that that is it. Today is no different. Everybody's like, "Yan, stir yawn."

54:14 Well, cuz you know, it's going on for 30 minutes like just empty affirmations. I I don't know how many times I can say affirmations on this episode, but it's we have a lot of them. It's just like these very like fil, you know, proclamations like stand in your light, be follow your dreams, walk on that sidewalk we call life. And when the sidewalk ends, #chells, you step on that road and that's a road that's going to take you down a path. A road and a path at the same time because they're all going to take us on a journey. And at the end of the journey, you're going to find a new U. And you love that U. But you know what you also love is T and V. the letters that are beside you because you can't get there without a village, a village of letters and village, which is the letter next to you.

54:58 Get a [ __ ] diary. Like, I don't need it. So, uh, they're all talking about how long-winded this is. Stacy says, "I'm loving this event, but there's a lot of self." Mhm. Yeah. A lot of self. I played dressed up for long enough. I'm free and my time is now. Love your highest self. Oh my god, I do love my highest self. You know why? Cuz I'm high. That's why. Listen, everybody's free to feel good. Everybody's free. Oh my god. Masturbate at home. Seriously. So, um, Mo'Nique now has bags for everybody and she's like, "You all know me as the binder bitch."

55:44 And they all look scared because the binder was famously where Mon'nique whipped out a binder at the reunion with receipts on everybody, most namely Jazelle and her cheating fake husband. So they all open up their bags and they have a binder and now they have to write in their the binder um I want you to write about what how you see yourself. So they have to write and meanwhile you know all the other guests at the table just have at at this event have to just sit there and watch seven women write in a binder like okay and now everyone's like okay cool that was fun I wrote about myself and then she's like and now the fun part I want you to write what you think about everyone else in the cast under their tabs and everyone's like uh like this is like a lot of writing this is like a lot of writing binder

56:30 that's like and it's a lot of passing binders around to read the other bind like you have to go through everybody's binder and read everybody's staff Mon'nique, this is too long. This is too long. You need something that can take place during appetizers.

56:43 You need to do stuff that you do ahead of time. It's like a cooking show. You know, when they've got something in the oven already, a swap out. That's what we need with these binders.

56:50 So, um, you know, all these people sitting there have to sit and watch for like 25. It's got to be 20 minutes to write all that stuff. So, they write it. Okay. So, finally, the magic of editing. Fast forward and everyone has written what they what they've written. And Jazelle is like, "Well, for me to be at a place where I love a binder is crazy. And if Mon'nique does not get binders by Monique by now, there's a problem. Monique, start marketing your things, girl." Okay. So, now she shuffles the binders and um now they have to read from the binders basically. And Mon'nique's like, "Let the healing begin." Okay. Who got Stacy's binder? And so now Jiselle's this the Jiselle tab. So Stacy Jiselle reads it and she says, "Stacy said, I get that you don't trust people easy. I hope you can do better. I didn't get a second page. Damn, it was getting good."

57:45 And Monnique is like, "Well, uh, like, well, I wonder what Jazelle got to think about Stacy." So Stacy, uh, Stacy turns to Jazelle's, and Jazelle's behind her. She turns to the the Stacy tab, and there's nothing there. It's just blank, which is the ongoing theme with Jazelle and Stacy.

58:02 Stacy considers herself lucky. She's like, "I love it. I'll take it." Yeah. So, what does Ashley think about Stacy? So, we see Ashley's. And Angel reads hers. Stacy is complicated, confused, nurturing, and fun. Complicated, confused, nurturing, and fun. So, Stacy's like, "I'll take that. I will take that as well."

58:23 Yeah, she's okay with that. So now um Wendy's binder binder and it's the Kier tab so Ashley reads it. It's kind of hard when you watch it. It's easy when you watch it. It's easy but it's funny when you say it. It's like it's Wendy's binder and where she's going to talk about

58:39 Kiera and Ashley's going to read it. Yeah. Someone else going to read your thoughts on someone else. It's come on man.

58:47 It's a convoluted game. So Ashley is Ashley is like well something I found interesting in Dr. Wendy's book was under K's tab and she wrote fake F A K E with a period and K's like um but my bags are real everyone's like u was there a joke about

59:06 this isn't married to medicine we don't care yeah that's that's later tonight so Stacy is Stacy's like um can I have the mic please okay so I want to go back to what Wendy said why did you say that K was fake and Kieran is like yes please elaboration so Wendy's like well I feel Before we resumed as a group, me and Kay were in a good space. And then once we resumed, now she has a problem with me. And so that just comes off as fake to me. Meaning we were friends and then we started filming and she knew she had to step it up this season. So she just had to come at me uh to have a story line.

59:38 Yeah. So then uh it's the Ashley tab. And so Ashley believes that she's bubbly. She's a bad [ __ ] Growing and glowing to be the best. Wait, who wrote this?

59:50 Ashley's binder. Ashley Tab. Oh, this is what Ashley thinks of herself. She's a bad [ __ ] She's growing and glowing to be the best mother, sister, friend, daughter, human I can ever be. Please stop singing. I'm sorry, that was mine. Um, and Jazelle says, "I don't think Angel agrees." Uh, so then we see what Angel wrote. It says, "Disappointing." Period. Strong mother, resilient, petty. Uh, so, um, so then Angel, she takes and and then and then like, so Angel takes it and rips it out

1:00:28 and they're like, "Why'd you rip out why'd you rip that out?" And she's like, "Because I don't receive it. It says catfish." Oh, because that's what So that's what Ashley wrote about her

1:00:36 about Angel, right? So Angel is like She's like, "I don't receive it because it says catfish not fully walking in her truth. You don't think I'm walking in my truth? Why are you Why are you coming to my house? maybe you should revisit that decision. And Wendy's like, "So, is Ashley still invited to Colorado?" She goes, "You know what, Miss Wendy? I have put so much love and thought and care into this trip and for every single person here. And for someone to question who I am or my motives or why I would continue to put that time, love, and effort into them, that's just hurtful." So, Jazelle's like,

1:01:10 "Oh, God." Angel's doing using this house like her wedding. Like, oh, if you're mean to me, you're not going to be invited to my wedding. You're not going to come to my bridal shower. You're not going to come to my party before the bridal shower about the bridal shower being announced. It's like, oh my god, stop holding your [ __ ] wedding over my head. It's something I have to spend thousands of dollars on for you, okay? Like, do me a favor and just leave me at home. Well, and also, she's the one who created this catfish monster. That thing that when Jazelle said, you know, said basically was like a catfish, it was she was saying it in a shady way. It was shady but joky. And it was also because Angel put like heavily doctorred the photo of herself and she did. And then she acted like she didn't. And then when Jazelle was like, "Listen, I didn't really mean to make you cry. I was just being

1:01:57 shady." They had first of all, they had a resolution that night and it seemed good. And then the next morning she was crying about it and Jazelle gave gave an apology and then she kept bringing it up and then she brought up again after she said she was over with it. And then she started saying it was Wendy who said it initially. So, it was Angel who keeps on bringing up the catfish thing, making it into a big deal. And now, at this point, the women are just they they see that this is her weak spot. This is the thing that sets her off. So, Ashley

1:02:20 goes to find a different way to say catfish every week. Every week, they find a new way to get catfish in there.

1:02:28 Like, you you kind of like did not manage the situation. You let it get out of control.

1:02:33 Yeah. And so Jazelle's like, "Well, Angela, this is my ride or die, my bestie. And if she's not invited, I would like to not be invited as well. And Angel's like, "Okay." So Jazelle goes, "We haven't even done anything to you, Angel. Yes, you have. Yes, you've been nasty since the start, so stop it."

1:02:53 Listen, I I'm going to come, you know, I come for Angel about the situation, but let's not act like Jazelle, you and Ashley are no angels either. Okay?

1:03:01 Yeah. Look, Jazelle and Ashley were being dicks about the the catfish thing. It's just that cat the woman can't take a little joke, you know, like come on. It's I'm tired,

1:03:12 but also because this book has been read for 90 hours, so that could that it's also it's also uh Mon'nique's fault.

1:03:20 So, she's like, "Okay, well, this wasn't Oh, sorry. Go ahead. I was just going to say it's just funny also that Jazelle's claiming Ashley as her bestie now." Like, I still remember the first episode of this entire series. And I'll tell you one thing, Ashley was not her bestie back then. It's just because there's no Robin. And so Jazelle has to and there's no Karen. There's no there's no one. So she just has to cling on. It's either going to be Wendy or Ashley. So she's like, I'm going to go with Ashley. Yeah. So Monique's like, "Well, that took a turn. I didn't think it was going to." Okay. Well, enjoy love letters from versions of myself. Okay.

1:03:50 Thanks everybody. Like great event, Mon'nique. So Angel is like, "Well, when I showed up to PTOIC and ponies, I was late and I was flustered." You know, sometimes when your husband doesn't want to show up to something and blah blah blah. He said, "We'll get there when we get there." And then um then Ashley comes up and asks me if I was evicted. And that is offensive. That is offensive. Yeah. And Jazelle's like, "Who's talking about me?" And Stacy's like, "Well, I think Ashley should listen to this." So, um Mon'nique's explaining that like Angel was offended by the eviction comment. And now she goes, "Well, the way it sounded, it sounds like that's what happened. cuz if you said that some you have to pack up all your stuff and leave, that's like what it sounds like, Angel. And she goes, "Well, what happened is for everybody who needs to know, the lease ended before we expected it to." And then we were told get out of

1:04:40 the house right away and that's it. And that's all that happened. Oh, did you know that March supposedly has 30 days? That is just ridiculous. We were expecting 60. Wendy's like, "Well, I want you to know if if if you know these women, you wouldn't take it to heart." And I and I know it takes time, but that's just the shade. Like, Ashley has told me crazy [ __ ] about myself. And I'm like, "Shut the hell up." And then you move on, which

1:05:08 Oh, yeah. True. But like Wendy moving on. She's the chill one. As we sat through three seasons of her being angry at Jazelle and Robin about like the did Eddie cheat thing. Like I mean, you know, I would be like

1:05:20 that's a big thing, but also like she she it carries over with her for a while.

1:05:25 Yeah, Wendy has learned to kind of go with it, but it's taken a long time for Wendy to learn for sure. So for her to be like, oh, come on. It's all just fun. It's hilarious. So Mon'nique is saying, "Okay, well Ashley, can you acknowledge that the use of that word offended her?" And she goes, "Yes, Angel. I apologize that the word evict came into this vernacular. And Angel's like, as a writer, I appreciate appreciate that you use the word vernacular and I accept that. Thank you for such a thorough apology and don't ever call me a catfish again. And then the word is dead. Yeah. So Jazelle goes, "So are we going to have catfish in Colorado?" W So now they have to go packing.

1:06:10 Yeah. So now it's 12 hours later and we're at Stacy in Stacy's house and she calls Angel and she's like, "So what was this warning about altitude?" And this becomes a big thing like, "Oh my god, in Colorado, Colorado is so high. You're all going to die. Please drink water. Don't have more than one drink." It becomes a huge thing which you all everybody tells you when you go to Colorado like you know the regular things, but they really they really play it up in this episode. Yeah. Angel. Well, I think I think also an it is a thing. It is a thing, but I feel like Angel really relishes being able to tell everyone how to handle the altitude sickness. I think it gives her a sense of like authority. Like, and like I know I've been here. I've done this before.

1:06:55 As an elder wag, I can tell you about altitude sickness. You know, I've had to come to Colorado so many times. I travel so much as being someone married to a football player and being a writer occasionally. So, I definitely make sure that before you come, you are drinking like double the amount of water you consume on a daily basis. And even the morning back from Maryland this morning, I I woke up and I was just like super thirsty. So, I'm just saying this as someone who understands. I'm someone who's been around a mountain. I've seen a mountain before as as a mountain viewing person. I just giving you a little bit of advice. Drink a lot of water.

1:07:25 You're going to need it, guys. Yeah. So, uh, they go over altitude stuff and, um, Angel is saying, you know, I'm so excited to see how people experience my world. I built a state. And Stacy is like, "Wow, I hear joy in her voice. It's almost like she found a sweater with a camel on it." And um, so then we're at the airport and Wendy's like, "Where's the person whose whip it is? Where's Angelon?" And Tia's like, "Well, she's gotten to Colorado already. She's getting everything set up for us." And Wendy's like, "I've never heard of us not flying together somewhere." I'm like, "Wasn't there an entire troop where Robin showed up like a day late because she missed the flight?" Like, wasn't she always late to the airport? Wasn't that like the thing?

1:08:09 They just have very selective memory about these things. So, uh, they are gonna fly and, um, and then, uh, uh, Wendy and and Stacy or or I'm sorry, Stacy and Kieran are like sitting next to or T and Stacy are sitting next to each other and, uh, Wendy's like, "Oh my god, hella's frozen." Whoa. So, now they go to Colorado. We made it to Colorado. Nothing happened. Nothing funny happened in the airport. They just got to Colorado. And um, Mon'nique is having a moment where she's like, "Wow, like just hitting me. I'm a little scared." I'm like, I like traveling alone. This is crazy. So, she's having a moment because she hasn't been on a girl trip in years and years. So, we get to Colorado and Angel's there and she's being nice to everyone. She's like, "Hi, everybody.

1:08:52 I've got a cowboy hat." And um everyone's like, "Oh my god, look at her smiling." And Stacy says, "Angel must have taken one of my gummies because she's looking happy. I love this angel." Poor Angel. All she does is say hi. And they're like, "Oh my god, it's like Angel's out of the mental hospital. She's so happy now. So, uh, she has, uh, arranged like two vans and then she also has her big pickup truck that she has brought to pick some people up. And, um, Wendy's like,

1:09:22 it feels like there's 10 cars. Doesn't it feel like there's 10 cars? Sprinter van. I kind of feel like she wanted to show off her pickup truck. So, um, instead of having a sprinter van, they have just all these vans. It's a motorcade to go into the mountains. So Wendy is like, "Angel, why is it just me and you in the car with Stacy?" Because Angel has said like, "Okay, you're everyone's going to go in these vans except for Wendy and Stacy are going to come in my pickup truck." And Wendy's like, "Why is this happening?

1:09:53 Why Why did I get No one wants to be the one selected by by Angel in any of these events."

1:09:58 Yeah. Um and she's like, "I'm dressed like I'm going to St. Crope." And she's dressed like she's going to dump me in the woods. It's not matching.

1:10:08 Why does she not Stacy's with me? She says, "But Stacy's with me and I know I can one faster than Stacy. So if anything happens, she's going to get Stacy first."

1:10:17 Yeah, that's true. They show Stacy like doing like the the giddy up thing with the at the rec center. But why? I'm surprised she didn't take Kiana in the car. That was an odd odd choice.

1:10:29 Yeah, I don't I don't really know. I don't know why Angel does what she does. I do know this. It all bores me because all of this seemed to be um it all seemed to be orchestrated to make people mad. Like everything she's doing is kind of orchestrated like she's making an effort but it's just not landing, you know. So, um we go to we go to the cars and the h the husband is calling Angel and Stacy's like, "Well, we were going to answer the phone, but I thought maybe we shouldn't do that. You really don't have much of a sense of humor." She's like "Yeah

1:11:01 yeah." Yeah. She's like, "Yeah, don't answer for Bobby. I'm the only one who can speak to Bobby." Listen, this is wag privilege being able to talk to Bobby. So, unfortunately, you guys are not Wags and can't do this. So, then they're driving on the way. And so, Angel kind of turns to Wendy and she's like, "Miss Wendy, I like you." And we have things between us that we need to hash out, but generally I like you as a person. Which I'm like, who the like what an [ __ ] thing to say generally I like you as a person. Like, what the [ __ ]

1:11:29 What? She's like I She's on like a power trip on this on this trip right now. She's on a wedding trip. I'm telling you this is what it is. It's the same thing. Like we're coming to my house and it's my wedding and I do what I want. Oh, good. How

1:11:44 and I've given you the privilege of being in the front seat of this pickup truck and I'm going to tell you that like I'm going to tell you that you are privileged to be in this carriage right now and that I like you generally speaking almost to implying like if you work harder I might like you all the way. It's like, "No, no, Angel."

1:12:04 Yeah. So, uh, Wendy's like, "Well, I don't know why Angel's now inundating me now with love, but it's a little too late." I love Wendy's laugh, but I can't do I was doing it last night. I'm like, "Uh, so they're asking if there's going to be food and Angel's like, "Oh, there will be a chef." Okay. A wandering chef.

1:12:27 And I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Jazelle and Ashley will share a room together. And then we get Wendy's laugh again. I start cracking up. So now we go uh to another car and Jazzy is saying, "Oh my gosh, we're getting so high." And Karen is like, "I feel great. Did you guys take a pill? I took a pill." Yeah. And they're like, "No, we didn't take that pill." And Karen's Kar's proud of herself. She's like, "Colorado is one mile above sea level." And Angel warned us that we would get to some altitude sickness. So in preparation, I wanted to pop some meds just in case. And so she's like really happy. She's like, "Oh my god, I prepped so well." And uh Jazz is like, "Hey, can you let me know about did anything happen at Mon'nique's that I should know about since I wasn't at that event?" And Jazelle's basically like, "Well, I don't know whether you know this or not, but Angel was

1:13:11 evicted." Jazelle's just going to keep on saying evicted. And Jazz is like she was asked to leave.

1:13:20 She's like, "No, she wasn't evicted. First of all, she was not evicted. Just you need to cut this shit." You know, it wasn't I'm asking you to leave. It was just like a thank you. It's been fun, but the lease is over. That's all it was. And and Jazelle's like, "Well, I have a totally different view of that, but I want to keep it to myself for now." W until there's a group scene after we've been established. Yeah. So, then we go to another car and Monnique is talking about how she's getting along really well with Kiana and Angel, but she got a little worried for Angel at Ptoic and Ponies because she said that her husband didn't want to come. And so now she's having flashbacks to

1:13:57 her husband Chris. And Monnique says, you know, reminds me of one person doing everything. And I don't know if it's the same situation, but some of the ingredients look very similar to the recipe. Or she says, very similar to the recipe I was cooking.

1:14:13 Similar. I just wrote a book. Similar. Okay. I just wrote a book that's very similar to this. And um I was stuck in my illusion. So, her marriage probably sucks too.

1:14:26 I have a love letter for myself. This is a letter from me to you. I love you. Which is why I'm literally putting you in the word similar. Similar. So, then uh Kiera says uh that she's like, she tells Jazelle, "Okay, be on our best behavior. Okay, you make me proud. This is why I got in the car with you so we can have a little pep talk. You you know, be well. Don't be mean to Angel." And Jazelle's like, "Angel has huge shoes to fill because the neas was five star top to bottom, head to toe." I'm like, "Was it was it five star?" Because I seem to remember you guys went into town and it was like two souvenir shops like by the beach and you guys went back to your Airbnb.

1:15:09 But it does answer why Kier was put in the car with Jazelle because Angel was like, "You better talk to Jiselle and tell her to behave." So I guess we have an answer to that one. And so then we go back with Ashley, Tia, and Mo'Nique, and uh they're talking about not having um service. There's only Wag service out here. Sorry, suckers.

1:15:28 Only for Elder Wags. Yeah, we have five five W A service. That's it. Sorry, guys.

1:15:34 Wag Ryzen only for Wag Ryzen subscribers. So, they get to this. Are we at the house yet?

1:15:42 No, they driving. Let's go to the house. Let's just go to the house. Let's fast forward to the house cuz I can't. Okay. So, they start they see this house and Ashley's like, "Wait a minute. Is this Angel's house?" And no, it's not. And she goes, "Oh, wait. So, we got to rent a house."

1:15:56 So, she has rented them a house, right? So, Angel has made this whole to-do about the fact that she doesn't want to bring Ashley's bad juju into her house. And turns out they're not even going to her house in the first place. And Ashley, that's basically what Ashley says. She's like, "I thought that's where we were going." So, Angel's like, "Okay, everyone, I want to introduce Bianca. She is Wonderland Outdoors head movement and mindfulness guide and she's going to stand next to me while um I take you guys to your different rooms for no reason.

1:16:25 What a job. What a job. Um you're nodding right now. Thank you. Thank you. Head move. Thank you movement. Thank you head movement specialist. Thank you.

1:16:35 She is not Jenny Slate, but she does kind of look like her, but we want to have we we like to have employees on our roster who look like, you know, Jenny Slate. She does pretty good. Marcel the Shell impersonation.

1:16:47 That's who uh Bramwood should hire on Real House of Salt Lake City, a head movement specialist.

1:16:55 Clearly, and it's really funny that you would say that because last time I checked, I did try to do that and you didn't allow it and that's fine.

1:17:03 And just a reminder, girls, one drink here is like two drinks anywhere else. So, once you're done uh nibbling, we'll check out your rooms and then we'll do some breath work and then I'll leave you to relax. Breath work. Shut up. Can we just have a vacation? Get out of here with your breath work. You work on your own breath. Okay, we've already had the Stacy storyline. I don't need more breath work. I just love how the person who is most self-proclaimed into all this like selfhelp, self-healing, self-care is the one who is the mopest on the show. So,

1:17:38 yeah. So, so Angel's like, "And then I'm going to go back to my house." And they're like, "Well, Mon'nique's like, "Well, why aren't why aren't we at your house?" She goes, "Well, it's just it's just not enough space. But some people are at my house and some people are here." And you can tell some it's like the Hunger Games. No one no one wants to volunteer.

1:17:55 No one wants to be in the house. Oh my god. Everyone wants to stay here. And Jazelle's like, "Oh, okay. Well, Jazelle of all people goes, "Girls trips. Girls stay together. We function together and you piecing out. You're going to your home and you're taking some of the girls with you. Like, what is this?" I'm like, "It sounds like it's that trip where you and Robin got a hotel room in the middle of it cuz you didn't like your rooms. Is that what it sounds like?"

1:18:17 Or the party that you had but didn't let anybody come into your house and made them sit outside. Yeah, I think that's what it sounds like.

1:18:25 Jazelle says, "Well, we're here and we're going to have a grand old time." Um, so they cheers and Angel's like, "Okay, well, there are room assignments and then I have a really nice welcome party for you guys and then you'll be able to come to my house." So Tia and Kay are going to go with her. And

1:18:43 Stacy's so bummed, by the way. Tia's like, "Oh, that's exciting. I get to be far away with Kay and Angel. An hour away from all the other fun girls. Yay.

1:18:55 Yeah, cuz it's an hour away. We find out the house they she got them a house that's an hour away from her house. Now that's the craziest thing that's happened.

1:19:02 That's where it's crazy. That's nuts. So yeah, like when when when Jazelle and Robin got that hotel room, they just were in town. They were like 20 minutes away, but like an hour away, it's like you could not find another house closer to that. I mean, I guess maybe maybe not. I mean, it is the great outdoors out. You know, it's Colorado, but still,

1:19:20 at that point, just don't stay at your own house. Get a house where you can all stay, including you. And then you can take everyone to your house. You can have dinner at your house, and you all go back like you do it. Yeah, it is weird. It's

1:19:31 Yeah, this is a fail. This is a super weird fail. And Monnique's like, "Do you not like us?" And she goes, "No, I like you a lot. It's just space. It's just space." So, uh, Mon'nique's like, "What's up with all this gas we're wasting? I mean, we're driving so far away from the airport and we have to go to this house and drive another hour to get to your house when we thought we were going to be staying at your house. We're not even staying in her home. So, Ashley's like, "Okay, well, let's get our rooms." Okay. So, now they go look at the rooms and and like here Stacy's room is right here and has a view and it's beautiful and there's a tub and it's gorgeous. And then um and then all of a sudden like this this room tour stops because Wendy's like uh everyone look at Kay and Kiera is like sweating and crying and like out of it and they're like what's going on with Kiera which just suddenly did she think

1:20:22 she's did she think she's on a billboard somewhere cuz Kiera stood up after when they were going to look at their rooms and she's like oh my god you guys be careful cuz I just had one shot and it feels like three. So I guess Kier did get wasted because of the al the uh the height or whatever. the height and she's also on some pill that I'm not sure it was the right pill to take or I don't know what it is.

1:20:42 So she starts crying. Uh so they start looking at the other rooms and Stacy definitely got the best room and um then we see let's see uh

1:20:55 when the whole downstairs too by the way she winds up with the whole the whole basement. She's got like a wreck room down there. But ultimately, what really matters in all of this is that Jazelle and Ashley get put in the small, it's the smallest room that has two twin beds in it, which is a total throwback to the first season. Ashley's Rahobath home with uh twin beds for Jazelle and Robin. And Jazelle is not happy. Ashley's not happy either, but Jazelle is really not happy.

1:21:24 Yeah. Um and they deserve it. Jazelle and No one deserves this more than Jazelle and Ashley. They're such [ __ ] and they've done this to people. They've both done this to other people. And just watching how Jiselle treated um Stacy on her last trip. She deserves it. And I love watching it. And just watching how they get like, "Oh, we are not. How dare she? How dare she? I'm not staying like this." Well, listen. You're the one who says this is just housewives. So, you're a dick to somebody and she does this to you. You have to suck it up. Like, what are you going to do?

1:21:53 Didn't they do this also? Did Mia do this to Karen once? And so Karen was like, "I'm not gonna stay in this room." So she slept on the sofa in the living room instead. Like they every every season they do this to each other.

1:22:03 Yeah. Everyone gets out of the [ __ ] rooms. Um so now they uh check out Wendy's big wreck room. And she not only has like a little full-size bed, but she also has a bunk bed down there. And they're like, "Well, why didn't they at least get this room, you know?"

1:22:16 Yeah, they should. I mean, clearly that's where they should have been together, but you know, Angel was being petty. And you know what? She's owed at least a little bit of pettiness. But the thing is that she just can't take the pettiness in return. I guess no, no one can because obviously Jazelle can't either.

1:22:31 Yeah, they can't take it either. But I love that Angel just goes, "Gratitude is a virtue. I hope you're happy. If you're not, I'm so sorry."

1:22:40 Yeah. So then Jazelle's like, "Um, Jazelle is like really really not happy." And Monica is like, "Well, she got her lick back." And Jazelle's like, "Lick back for what? Lick back for what?" Like that's weird. That's weird. I haven't even done anything. Uh, and Mon'nique's like, "Well, it was the Ashley eviction situation." She goes, "Well, but she got evicted." And he was like, "No, wait, wait, guys. No, no, no. Don't do this." She goes, "Well, I'm going to evict myself." And Angel's like, "Well, you should because what didn't happen? What didn't happen is me getting evicted." Well, we have more information about that, D, and I'm going to leave that right there. Ra.

1:23:14 She goes, "Oh, but you don't." She goes, "Yes, we do." And, uh, she goes, "Yeah, we do." Yeah. So, Jazzy's like, "What is going on with Jazelle?" Well, she said she was going to behave. This is not behaving. So, Angel says, "What's your information?" And she's like, "Well, it's not my information to tell. It is only my information to lord over your head until somebody else tells it." And now she's like, "It's not my information either. By the way, I've got a song killing me with evicting me softly with his rent, taking me out of the house." Uh, I like that they are suddenly acting like they can't say this. They're they're just saying that it's not their information to tell us. That way they can pretend

1:23:58 like they were they were like being somewhat uh I can't think of the right word is like like um careful with this, you know, like

1:24:08 being so subtle. Yeah. That that being like Whose information is it? Wendy's. Because Wendy was the one who said that she had the friend that heard that she was looking for something that looked $50,000, but it was $2,000 or something like that.

1:24:22 Yeah. So, Angel's like, I'm going to tell you guys right now that if we don't get this out, I'm going to shut [ __ ] down because what what's not going to happen is people coming to my home having crazy lies about me and spreading toxic energy on my property, which includes various books that I've written. So, who has more information? There are 36 acres you are not allowed to speak about this topic on. And she says because I got to I got to hear this before you guys enter. Step through the threshold of my home. You will not speak of this in my home.

1:24:55 Oh lord. So funny. Angel is just so ridiculous. But that was the to be continued. It's a cliffhanger. We'll have to see what happens on the ongoing saga of Angel's eviction. All right, everybody. Well, thank you so much for being with us. It has been a really good time. We are going to move over to Married to Medicine now. So, that'll be up later. Also, crappy hour is tonight at 5:30 and Amazon Live is at 4 PM today. So, we'll see you and we'll uh I already said we'll see you. So, we'll see you. Bye. We'll

1:25:29 see you. Bye.

Questions about this episode

Who speaks in "RHOP S10E13: Malice in Wanderland"?

Ronnie Karam (Host), Ben Mandelker (Host), Angel (Guest), Wendy (Guest), Jazelle (Guest), Ashley (Host), Monique (Guest).

What is "RHOP S10E13: Malice in Wanderland" about?

In "Malice in Wanderland," the hosts dive into a lively discussion about recent events in Los Angeles, including a car chase involving a stolen Kia and local crime incidents, while also expressing excitement for the new year and plans to cover updates from Bravo. The episode balances lighthearted commentary with engaging anecdotes, setting the stage for a captivating 2026.

What is mentioned in this Watch What Crappens episode?

14 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Mon'nique, Mo'Nique, Uncle Lump, Angel Massie, Love Letters from Versions of Myself, Bravo. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "RHOP S10E13: Malice in Wanderland"?

The episode runs 1 h 26 min; the transcript is about 17,286 words in 249 timestamped sections.

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