Southern Charm S11E07: Chick Me Girl*

What this episode is about

In this discussion, Ronnie and Ben celebrate National Bagel Day while navigating personal anecdotes, including a disappointing bagel experience. The conversation blends humor and casual banter as they contemplate the significance of food-related holidays and speculate on future bagel-themed days.

Key takeaways

• National Bagel Day: a reminder that even holidays can disappoint like a soggy bagel.
• Venita's departure was a missed chance—like leaving a party right before the surprise guest shows up.
• Bagel Friday? Sounds like a carb conspiracy to prolong the joy of National Bagel Day.
• Reality TV lesson: the best moments often happen when you resist the urge to leave the drama.
• Celebrate with food, but remember: Shade’s ideal bagel might be a bowl of kelp disguised as a bagel.

Who speaks in this episode?

• Ronnie Karam (Host) · 46 min speaking
• Ben Mandelker (Host) · 46 min speaking
• Sally (Guest) · 14 min speaking
• Craig (Guest) · 14 min speaking
• Venita (Guest) · 9 min speaking
• Austin (Guest) · 9 min speaking

What is discussed, and when

1. 0:00 – 10:00: National Bagel Day, Amazon, Bagels, Hostess
2. 10:00 – 20:00: Amazon, Amazon Live, Heated Rivalry, Bagels
3. 20:00 – 30:00: Low Country Oysters, Amazon
4. 30:00 – 40:00: Crumble, Heated Rivalry, Karen
5. 40:00 – 50:00: Heated Rivalry, Hostess
6. 50:00 – 1:00:00: Hostess
7. 1:10:00 – 1:20:00: Pizza
8. 1:30:00 – 1:32:43: Golden Crappies

Notable quotes from "Southern Charm S11E07: Chick Me Girl*"

• From the specific place and they always make a killer bagel. So, today I was I'm ordering it. and I saved it up all week and I ordered it and I got my bagel and honestly it was…

  about Bagels · at 1:08

• You know what I feel like Shade wouldn't appreciate a carb celebration because Shade keeps pretty in shape. But you know what? I'm going to stop knowing you and just Yes. you.

  about Soren Shade · at 2:27

• Angeles, California during awards season, as it should be. come to that. It's going to be super fun. You can get tickets over ticket links at watchcraftins.com.

  about Golden Crappies · at 3:33

• What do you What privilege do you have to get Hostess donuts, you know? And then I order some and he just sits there and watches me eat them. And I'm But they're chocolate. You…

  about Hostess · at 8:27

• We should do an Amazon live. We should get houses from Amazon Live. Come on.

  about Amazon · at 10:40

• Backyard and take care of these sweet animals who don't deserve to die for Chick-fil-A. And, just like really learn some empathy.

  about Chick-fil-A · at 13:13

• Jack's I thought you were going to take me to Low Country Oysters. Huh?

  about Low Country Oysters · at 22:34

• Crumble. And then, which I still have never had a crumble cookie, but I hear they're terrible. I've heard nothing but terrible things about the crumble cookies. But, I've never had one that's not dry, but I think it just depend.

  about Crumble · at 31:28

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

• Soren Shade — Person · Referenced person (likely friend/associate of hosts) · 2 mentions · first at 2:15
  Mentioned as having a birthday; used for comedic riffing about “bagel day” and lifestyle/food preferences.
• Karen — Person · Incidental mention · 1 mention · first at 30:08
  Mentioned as the name of Madison's dog, adding to the narrative about her character.
  She has a what? Of course Madison has a dog named Karen. Oh my gosh. Of course she does.
• Stacey — Person · Referenced person (example in hosts’ banter) · 1 mention · first at 0:47
  Used as a comedic comparison about inventing a “holiday” (“outfit of the day day”); not part of the Southern Charm plot.
  Yeah, I feel like Stacey when she came up with outfit of the day though. I am upset. There's a Whenever I'm in New York, I get bagels from the specific place and they always.

Companies & orgs

• Amazon — Company · Incidental mention · 6 mentions · first at 3:46
  Mentioned in passing in various contexts, including shopping and streaming.
• Low Country Oysters — Company · Incidental mention · 2 mentions · first at 22:22
  Mentioned as a place Craig suggests for a date with Charlie.
• Chick-fil-A — Company · Incidental mention · 2 mentions · first at 7:25
  Mentioned in passing in a humorous context.

Products & tech

• Bagels — Product · Incidental mention · 3 mentions · first at 0:36
  Mentioned in the context of National Bagel Day and personal preferences.
• Hostess — Product · Incidental mention · 4 mentions · first at 8:13
  Mentioned in passing in the context of personal cravings.
• Crumble — Product · Incidental mention · 2 mentions · first at 31:28
  Mentioned in passing in the context of cookies.
• Pizza — Product · Incidental mention · 1 mention · first at 1:18:16
  Mentioned in the context of a party at Madison's house.
  And Madison's Well, Sally, I hope you don't mind. I told Venita and Molly about Craig. She's Well, I'll tell you guys all day. I tried to tell him I had feelings for him and he was.

Places & events

• Golden Crappies — Event · Event experience · 2 mentions · first at 3:27
  An event mentioned in the podcast, likely related to the hosts' activities.
• National Bagel Day — Event · Incidental mention · 3 mentions · first at 0:36
  Mentioned as a humorous reference to a personal holiday.
  Oh, well, that's it's going great. Going great. congratulations on having a national day made after your personal holiday.

Media & podcasts

• Heated Rivalry — Media · Referenced work · 5 mentions · first at 19:45
  Mentioned in the context of a show that Jack watches, adding to the narrative about his character.
  I was considering doing that. Have you ever considered getting like a little house on Amazon that you put in your backyard or what?

Sponsors

• Amazon Live — Product · Sponsor · 2 mentions · first at 10:38
  Mentioned as a platform where the hosts conduct live sessions.
  You can also go to our link in bio on our Instagram. That's also where you'll find links to our Patreon, our Amazon lives, which are every Monday at 4.

Full transcript with timestamps

0:05 Welcome to Watch What Happens. To get our videos as soon as they're released instead of waiting for a week, head over to our Patreon. That's also where you'll find our bonus episodes and our Discord community. We love you guys. Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crains, the podcast for all the crap we love to talk about on Ye Old Bros. I'm Ronnie and that's Ben. Hello, Ben.

0:36 Hi, Ronnie. How's it going? Happy bagel. Good Thursday, National Bagel Day. Oh, well, that's it's going great. Going great. Um, congratulations on having a national day made after your personal holiday.

0:54 Yeah, thank you. Pretty big, Ben. You made a holiday happen. Yeah, I feel like Stacey when she came up with outfit of the day day

1:05 though. I am I am upset. There's a Whenever I'm in New York, I get bagels from the specific place and they always make a killer bagel. So, today I was like, I'm ordering it. and I saved it up all week and I ordered it and I got my bagel and honestly it was not a very good bagel and I was like how could you do this to me on bagel Thursday on national bagel day so I guess there's only one path forward which is I guess I'll get another bagel from somewhere else

1:27 time for another bagel you have business meetings today in New York so why don't you just make them all at bagel places

1:34 I know it's just an excuse so I can get another bagel tomorrow that's the real key cuz tomorrow we have a big day I've recorded

1:40 but tomorrow's not bagel day Well, it's it's in the spirit of No, it's a continuous.

1:47 I mean, you can't you can't have a holiday made after your personal day and then be like, "Well, it's also bagel Friday, Ben." That's not how it works. Okay. Oh, tomorrow's Christmas, everybody. Just because.

1:58 No, I'll say it's Greek bagel day tomorrow. Cuz, you know, there's always like Greek like Greek Easter, you know, like that's like eight days later.

2:04 That's true. Or you could do like bagel Hanukkah where it just goes on for like eight days or whatever it is.

2:09 Yeah. Yeah. I think that's well tomorrow. It's a very big backtoback thing because today is National Bagel Day. Tomorrow is Shade's birthday. So I think like we can celebrate Shade with a bagel tomorrow which you know

2:25 the smooth shade wouldn't appreciate. You know what I I feel like Shade wouldn't appreciate a carb um celebration because Shade keeps pretty in shape. But you know what? I'm going to stop knowing you and just Yes. you. Yes.

2:38 So lucky. Well, Shade would want me to do something sensual for myself that would bring me joy, and that would be having a bagel, but she herself would probably get like a little bowl of kind of like Japanese farm food, you know, like something like lovely and delicious that's, you know, like maybe something that involves like a kelp or I don't know, like beautifully arranged and that would be her bagel Thursday and it wouldn't wouldn't be a bagel at all. In fact, she would actually tell people it's a bagel. She's like, "Well, it's my bagel, but it's not a bagel, Shante."

3:09 Doesn't matter. Shard's bagel is what Shane says a bagel is. Is it a crime to call this a bagel?

3:18 Yeah. Oh gosh. Okay, everybody. Well, guess what? Guess what? It is time for Southern Charm. But first, uh, the Golden Krappies are on February 27th here in the glorious, glamorous Los Angeles, California during awards season, as it should be. Uh, come to that. It's going to be super fun. You can get tickets over uh ticket links at watchcraftins.com. You can also go to our link in bio on our Instagram. That's also where you'll find links to our Patreon, our Amazon lives, which are every Monday at 4. Crappy hour is every other Monday at 5:30 Pacific time, which is this coming Monday. Might have a special guest, so tune in. Won't say who it is in case they flake, but it should be fun. And then, um, crappies tickets. Also on Patreon is where you get bonus episodes.

4:06 all of our video recaps, which we do every day. Now, we're covering traders over on bonus, and we have adree listening now on Patreon. So, go over there. Thanks to everybody who signed up over there. We sure love you guys. I'm just speeding through that, not because I don't care about those things, but because I care about you, the audience. Okay. Thank you.

4:25 And now is Southern Charm Day. Man, congratulations to Venita because Venita got her. I mean, she had one week where she said, "He is going to walk you like a leash on a dog and then dump you." And then Sally's like, "How dare you? I wanted that to happen on my own after I get some chicks." And then she left and then the very next week.

4:47 I am actually mad at Venita. I'm mad at Venita. Okay. I mean, we've we've trotted this out before. I think we've all I feel like we root for Venita, but she's just not very good at this show. And it seemed like at the beginning of the season she got the memo on how to be a reality star. You know, she stormed out of a party, but then she like she's been overdoing it and like she stormed out of this well she actually I would not say that she stormed. She didn't storm but she left. She was breezy. It wasn't a storm. It was a breeze. It was like a a light cloud in the sky. But she left the slumber party early. It's like girl you can't leave early like this because you missed the biggest told you so. She thought she had her told you so moment. She just had it. She just had to wait 20 minutes and she would have had the biggest told you so moment because it was like what she left on was so small. Like she could have had so much

5:38 joy and she could have gloated so hard and she missed it. Vanita, don't leave like that again. You don't know what spoils of victory you could have had.

5:49 Yeah. Couldn't we almost have it all? But no, you left again. Stop leaving. Stop leaving, Donita. Stay.

6:00 Do this. Stay and enjoy the fruits of your labor. That's what I say. That's right.

6:06 Um, that was so good. This episode is season 11, episode 7. It's called Foul Play and it's spelled F WL. You guys, I was going to call this episode because it's my turn to title an episode and I was going to call it the death of the Pikmi Chicks, but That's so dramatic. I love it.

6:29 But I didn't want people to think I was calling all the women on the show pickme chicks, you know, cuz they'd see the title and be like, "Oh my god, that's not cool. They're not pickmies." And not get that I was talking about the little chicks that Sally bought. So, I didn't go with it. But, um, I just wanted to talk about That's stupid. It's like, um, slum um party slumber party or uh pajama drama or something. Pajama drama, I think. pajama drop,

6:55 which is, you know, kind of lame, but whatever. Could have done like Well, I wish there was some sort of like book moment because then it could be chicklit,

7:02 but there was Oh, but there's doesn't make sense. The lit. Who cares? Unless they're get Well, they're sort of getting drunk.

7:10 No, it doesn't work. Yeah, white chicks. Chick lit. Chick lit. Oh, yeah. That would have been funny if somebody got wasted, but yeah, whatever. So, uh, it's called Foul Play, which I really like. And um um Chick-fil-A.

7:27 Wait, what is that? Chick-fil-A. Chick for chick. We could also use chicken, but chicks well, you know, we're gonna I think pajama drama is probably where it's at.

7:45 I think Yeah, that's that's just all I have. That's all I have got in me. Um, so Sally is at her house and she's got her friend Riley over and the dogs are trying to run out the gate. I'm rooting for the dogs.

7:57 Yeah, because I feel like Sally probably takes she probably talks to the dogs too much about her relationship. Like it's natural to talk to your dog. You know, my dog knows everything, which I mean dogs can't talk. So thankfully thankfully because God, he's got a lot of dirt.

8:13 But I talk to the dog about everything. And um my life is pretty boring. I'll be like, "God, do you know what I'm really craving? Hostess donuts. Why? Why am I craving that?" And he just looks at me like, "I would just like a pretzel." Like anything. Literally anything. Drop a booger on the ground. I'll eat it. What do you What privilege do you have to get Hostess donuts, you know? And then I order some and he just sits there and watches me eat them. And I'm like, "But they're chocolate. You can't I mean, a dog's life is hell." So Sally's double dog life has got to be hell. They just hear about boys all day. Like shitty shitty boys. I know. It's just got to be exhausting. And she she probably, you know, cuz she is that friend, that girlfriend who just yammers on about the boys. Well, I really like Craig and I think he like really likes me, but he hasn't made a move on me yet.

8:56 But like I think if we're just like getting close there, maybe I should just tell him that I like him. I mean, it's 2026. A girl can say what she wants to say. And the dogs are like just honestly, hostess donut. Come on. Like just drop it on the floor for me. I don't really care about your boy problems.

9:10 Exactly. You know, that's why I'm rooting for the dogs to run. You know, I'm like, "Run, little wiener dogs. Run little white wiener dogs. Keep running."

9:20 The spirit of Storm and Bambi are alive and these dogs. That's a reference to Kyle Richard's dogs that are always trying to escape into greater.

9:29 I block the I block everything Kyle Richards out of my brain. Like, who's that?

9:35 Stormmy Daniels. But Sally is um Sally is having a really sad episode and I almost felt bad for Sally. Um but I I decided not to.

9:48 Um so she is she has ordered like a chicken coupe off Amazon and or something. Probably not Amazon because you had to use actual screws. Where did it come from?

9:58 You can get like a house on Amazon. I saw an influencer do it once which I'm embarrassed to even say.

10:04 I was considering doing that. Have you ever considered getting like a little house on Amazon that you put in your backyard or what?

10:10 This person got a house. They got a house. They got like a like um a prefab house that they ordered on Amazon. I swear to God I saw it.

10:20 Is it nice? I don't even know who the influencer is and I'm influenced. I want a house.

10:26 It was like um you know it's like one of those you know like it's sort of like rectangular and it was it was fascinating. I I was still confused as how to how we got that on Amazon, but like I definitely saw that. I mean, we'll put it on our Amazon live next.

10:40 We should We should do an Amazon live. We should get houses from Amazon Live. Come on.

10:46 Yeah, we just need a plot of land and some plumbing, but you know, that's pretty easy in LA, right?

10:51 Dude, I just went to Amazon and I typed in house and a house came up. Like a real house.

10:58 Well, it's like a gazebo. No. And then a purple a sun room patio came up. Um backyard discovery belt. This is an Amazon live. We'll do this another day. But that is fascinating. I want an Amazon house. Okay. So anyway, the point is Sally got a little chicken coupe and she's putting it together with real screws. I mean chicken coops have not graduated to the little L wrench, you know, technology, which is crazy. So you have to use real screws. Sorry everybody who gets chicken coops. And um she is building a chicken coop because she wants to get chicks because Craig mentioned that he wants chickens in his yard. So she figures if she gets chickens in her yard then Craig will have to come over and be like the dad of the chickens and then they'll fall in love and then they'll be together forever. That's not a good plan.

11:44 Chickens die young and also you kill chickens and eat them. I mean it's just not very romantic. That's what I'm going to say.

11:50 This is one of the saddest things we've ever seen in the history of Bravo. I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to lie. as as the kids say. Um um Vander Pump Rules. I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to lie. This is really a sad sad moment. You know, Sally last year I felt seemed like an empowered young lady. I mean, she's still empowered, but I don't know. I felt like she wasn't so pick me. And this year, I just find her to be very sad. And the fact that she is investing in chickens pretty much solely so that Craig will go with her to pick out the chickens and like hopefully she's going to win Craig over with chicken determination because Craig said at one point that he'd like to have chickens in his backyard and so she's going to have chickens to show that they have the same interest. I just think it's sad especially because I don't think Craig has any interest in chickens. I think it's just like his his

12:42 chat GPT brain sensed that that was the answer. That was the thing that Sally needed to hear in that moment in order for him to be charming. Craig is not going to take care of chickens. I know he's got bees. Chickens is just going to be a bridge too far for him. And now she's stuck with chickens. Three chickens. Yeah, chickens. And it's just, you know, I just wish for her that because her friend says, "So, what prompted you to get a chicken coop?" and say, "Oh, I wanted her to say something like, "Oh god, I've always wanted chickens. I've always thought it would be so cool to have eggs right in my backyard and take care of these sweet animals who don't deserve to die for Chick-fil-A." And, you know, just like really learn some empathy.

13:21 And my friend mentioned chickens and I was like, "Yeah, I've wanted chickens. I'm going to get the chickens." This was a sign to get, but instead she doesn't. She like she has no self-awareness. Or maybe she has all the self-awareness in the world because she's her answer is, "Well, I was in Craig's hot tub the other night. We were talking about it and he said if I got chickens, he'd go with me to pick out the chickens. So the next day I ordered a chicken coupe." It's like, "Oh god, you are so pathetic. You are too gorgeous to be this pathetic." You know, I feel like, you know, when you're not like gorgeous like that, you think like, "Oh my god, what would life be like if I was that gorgeous?" It's like people would open doors for me, people would buy me stuff, people would get me chickens, you know?

14:00 It's like how you think and then you see somebody that gorgeous and then you see that it just leads to nothing. And then it's like, well, what's the point of just being insecure about not being so gorgeous? And then it's like, did I have wasted all my life being insecure? I think it's like a really good thing just in a good motto in general is don't invest um into the into the welfare of of other living beings just for the approval of a man. Okay?

14:31 Unless it's a baby. Unless it's a baby. Now I say if someone breaks up with you or is going to break up with you, then definitely that's the time when you're like we should have a baby, you know?

14:41 Okay. You know what? If it if it's a celebrity, have that baby because then you can always then you're tied to that celebrity to life and that's very exciting.

14:52 It's like Sorry, GMO del Toro. You may be a famous star now, but I have your child.

15:03 Wow. I don't know, but I actually meant to say Benio Del Toro, but somehow I wanted to very different. It's a different

15:10 both would have had the same response. Shape of water more like shape of association with celebrity culture. Pan's labyrinth more like the labyrinth walls of getting to be connected to a celebrity. Okay. By the way,

15:28 I'm in Cuba. Gosh. Hey, here's one from Cuba. Frankenstein. More like baby Stein. cuz now I have a celebrity's baby. You can use that, Sally. [clears throat]

15:43 Yeah. Um, so it's sad. And so the friend thinks it's sad, too, but she won't say it's sad. And she's like, "Is Greg going to name one of the chickens?" And she's like, "Well, I do have a code to his house now, so dot dot dot." Yikes.

15:57 I first of all, you're going to buy the chickens for this guy who doesn't care. And then you're going to let him actually perform the sacred right of naming one of the chickens? No. Like, don't let Craig name your chick. Don't do that at all. That's these are your You only have three, so you get to name them. Okay. My friend Katie, who you've met, Katie, she used to have a chicken in high school, and the chicken's name was Sid. And I always thought that was the funniest name for a chicken.

16:24 Who names their chicken Sid. The chicken Sid. I like that. I like that for a chicken name.

16:29 I love You can't let Craig name him because he'll be like, "Um, um, Paige." Okay, Craig. No, there's not only one page in the world, okay? There can be other pages. Okay, fine. Craig, what should we name the other chicken? Um, no me. Damn it, Craig.

16:48 The third one can be named Natalie. All the girls I've loved before. Call this episode chick. Chick girl.

17:00 Chick girl. That's it. That's it. Chick girl. Chick girl. I'm going to write it down.

17:05 Thank you. Thank you everyone. Check me girl. Here I'll even put as if I just got a standing ovation from the audience.

17:12 You did. You did from me cuz titles are sometimes very hard. Ben's the title queen. So chick me chick me girl. And then I'm going to put a little star and then when you read the star at the bottom it'll say by Ben.

17:24 No, you don't have to. This is our No, you're right. You're right. By Ben Mandelker Del Toro.

17:33 Fueled by bagels. Um, happy bagel Friday. Happy. And then I'll put another star and say happy bagel Friday. Happy.

17:46 Could you imagine if you trapped GMO del Toro with a baby? Um, so Sally has the code to your house. That's terrifying. Okay, so now we go over to Charlie's gallery and um Craig arrives and he's like, "Is there anyone here who looks like a really beautiful praying mantis? I want to talk to her." They're like, "Oh, Charlie's over there selling a painting of a penguin." He's like, "Damn it, that was supposed to be my painting." Hey, Charlie, meet my assistant who looks like Paige Dorbo with Republican hair. Oh, nice to meet you.

18:19 Oh, this poor guy. The plus one to every What's the guy's name? Oh my god, this poor assistant. Greg drags his poor assistant around and he's just so awkward. He's like, "Yeah, here's my here's my good friend. What's his face?" And he's like, "His name is Jack."

18:33 It's like a gallery. Jack. Yeah. Jack. Jack. Jack. Oh, sweet Jack. I feel bad for him. I don't feel bad for him, actually. I just feel like

18:41 he just has to deal with So, I I do feel bad for him. I feel bad that he has so much of Craig's [ __ ] and he just seems like this sweet, lovely gay who's just, you know, he's like just trying to have a baby with a celebrity, but that's

18:55 he's trying to just make it through college or whatever, get his extra college credit, and he he's not getting it. And, you know, I look at I look at um Jack and I just think head in the sack because of the lyrics, Jack, Jack, Jack Jack, head in the sack. But I also think this poor guy doesn't even know that his life is about to revolve around chicks that he's gonna have to raise. Because Craig, when Craig says, "I'm going to get chickens," that means Jack is going to get chickens. Jack is going to have little chicks hanging off of his nipples for the next like three years.

19:28 Here's what I feel bad about for Jack. I feel like Jack like I feel like it's really hard to be a gay in Charleston. there not a lot of options as TJ has announced many times and I just feel like his his few joys will be after a long day of work at Craig's he gets to go home and watch Heated Rivalry and like that's his special thing just watching Heated Rivalry and then he the next day he goes out with Craig and this like Sally is there and then Sally and Charlie are talking

19:57 and Sally's like oh my god I've been watching Heated Rivalry it is so good I love it so much and Charlie's like oh my god I I think that is so cute. I love that show. Let's talk about it. And he's like, "But this was my thing, my gay thing. And now you basics have stolen it from me."

20:12 Yeah. Poor Jack. Just can't win. And they're like, "Jack, why do you have crust on your shirt?"

20:17 The show. What' you say? Nothing. So then, um, I know what you said. Charlie's like, "Oh, I didn't know you were coming." And he's like, "But you just invited me." He does that Craig smile that's like so charming, but also so punchable once you know once you know he's just

20:47 tricking you and manipulating you. And she's like, "Well, I invited everyone." Well, I mean, no one really I mean, I don't know. Do you guys want some champagne? So, you invited everybody or you didn't invite everybody? What is it, Charlie?

21:00 It's so funny cuz Charlie is you. I thought Charlie that remember that first episode I was like what a brat, but like she's like not a brat. And she's shockingly I feel like uneasy and insecure, which makes sense cuz we meet her mom. This is her second time we have a conversation with her mom this episode. And uh so like now I understand why. But I thought she was going to be strident and like I'm Charlie and I get the man that I want and she's like well I invited everyone. I mean no one. I mean I don't know. Oh my god. I hope Sally doesn't see us. Oh god.

21:34 She's playing like a mini tuba. It's like wait a minute. She's just going to freeze in front of one of the paintings be like I'm not here. This is just a painting of Charlie on campus.

21:45 Yeah. I really like Charlie. I think she's beautiful. I think she's sweet. I think she, you know, she does think about other people's feelings, even though she's still going to go on this date. But, you know, I actually really like her, too. And that's why I want to protect her from Greg because

21:59 I know and and most importantly, Ronnie, we know one thing about Charlie. She's decent. Did you act decent on your date?

22:07 Did you decent? Yes, I know. Her mom's like, "Tell me, was there any intercourse, you indeent slob?"

22:16 So, um, Craig's like, "I think I'm happier when I'm sharing my life with someone." Have you Oh, by the way, speaking of sharing lives, have you ever been to Low Country oysters? You just ride around a boat all day eating oysters. You want to go? We could be like on the water together for a day.

22:34 Jack's like, "I thought you were going to take me to Low Country Oysters." Huh? What?

22:39 I'm the one who told you about that. You're going to use my boat, my family's boat. Jack's like, "Wait a minute. That's my friend who owns Low Country Oysters. Do I get to come?" He's like, "No, no, gay. Go watch the hockey show. Go feed the bees." So, so Charlie's like, "Oh, together for like a day. Oh no, Sally will kill me." He's like, "Yeah, I mean it'll be good." Yeah. No, it'll be fun. Oh god. I guess it's just it's so awkward to say, but the way that she looks at me and like I don't know, she just smiles when we talk and like there's something there I want to explore. Like does her face do other faces? That's interesting to me.

23:27 Okay, here's the way that she looks at you and I can see it because I can read her face. Okay, this is how she looks at Craig. Well, he's cute, but god, he's dumb. Oh, do I have to date him just cuz I'm on this TV show? I really do like being on this TV show. And if I don't date somebody from the TV show, how am I gonna stay on the TV show? God, is it him? Is he the only one available? Geez, don't like him. His waterfall countertops don't even go together properly. He does have a remote control for his fires in the backyard, which is cool.

24:01 But isn't that kind of douchy? Oh, I don't know. Oh, he has a hot tub, but I did get white spots all over my skin last time I was in it. Like, you just see the look of I could, but is it really what I want? You know, she's got that like cringe on her face. And that's what I'm reading. If only there were a pretty good looking guy who just had a nice steady profession like a lawyer or something like that and his own house and a little just a little bit of trauma in his life that I could fix. Oh, well, I guess there's no one like that on the cast. Greg is.

24:35 Yeah, I know. Poor guy. But you know what they say about him. And by they, I mean Sally on Watch What Happens Live.

24:41 Yeah. Someone was like, "Why why don't you go for Sally? I mean, why don't you go for that guy, um,

24:46 Watner or whatever. Like, he's he's cute and has a job and why is why are you why is everybody dissing him for the other guys?" And she goes, "Yeah, well, I don't think you guys know him yet." And it was actually nice to hear that because I was like, "Okay, good. He is going to be a douchebag." Because I hate this insecurity of not knowing if a guy on Southern Charm is going to be a douchebag. Like,

25:08 nine times out of 10, they're a douchebag. So, just make it happen. I don't I don't need the buildup. Just be a douchebag so I can hate you. Now,

25:15 is it possible though? I don't I really don't want to be an apologist for Whitner because it's there's there's just no upside for defending any man on Southern Charm ever. But is it possible that like Whitner and Sally go on some date? And he's like, "Yeah, I really like a driven woman." You know, I woke I wake up at four in the morning and I run around Charleston 10 times and I come back and then I do push-ups and then I do like I read just a I read a book and then I go to work. And I like a woman who who works hard like that too, is interested in things like that and it's like just wants to have like do like go to go to lectures and stuff like that and she's like, "Ew, he is so snobby. I don't like him at all." Like is it possible that he just like they have a date and he makes like reasonable requests of what he wants? Not reasonable, but like just

26:02 Yeah, I was going to say hang up at 4 in the morning is not reasonable. And by the way, I talked to mama 10 times in that in that schedule.

26:09 But like is it possible he says something that's more of like uh like an adult lifestyle kind of thing, quote unquote adult lifestyle thing where she's like, "Oh, he's snobby." Like I can imagine something like that happens and then she's turned off. So I'm going to

26:24 I can too. So, I don't know that I'm really ready to trust Sally's judgment. Exactly. That's That's the thing. She's bought three chickens for Craig. So, now like when she says, "Just wait till you get to know him." He probably like Whitner might just like read her for filth a little bit. Like, why did you get chickens for a man? That's a stupid thing. You're better than that. And she's like, "I hate you." You know? So, like we're I'm gonna I'm gonna right now I like Whitner and I'm gonna I'm gonna stay in a place where I like him until I have evidence that I shouldn't.

26:54 Yeah. I agree. But it's like picking a murderer. You know, when you watch Southern Charm and you're like, "Oh my god, who's the douchebag?"

27:00 Yeah. You know, I mean, granted, it's like watching Well, I don't want to say what movie it is cuz it's a spoiler alert, even though it's really old, but the one where they all did it, you know,

27:11 you know, it's it's like that kind of they're all the murderers. Yeah. Yeah. Those damn dogs.

27:17 Get those puppies. Kella gets all the blame, but it's also her henchmen. I'd just like to add. Um, so now we go to Madison's new house and u Oh, wait. Are we in Madison's new house? Sorry. I

27:29 No, no. First we go back to Sally's. Yeah, I was about to say we're And she's still making the chicken coupe and she's like, "Am I going to regret getting chickens?" And her friend's like, "No, it'll be an experience and maybe a lifelong experience." Oh, stop. Stop. What kind of friend is this? He's like, "No, maybe Craig's going to marry you now cuz you got chickens." This girl probably goes home and laughs at Sally. She's like, "Haha." tricks Sally into falling in love again.

27:54 Seriously. By the way, Ronnie, for the record, I did text you a listing for a house from from Amazon.

28:00 I saw it. I'm like, how big is 20 ft? Is that big? Trust me. Okay, speaking of which, Madison's new house, which is definitely not something you can order from from a website, is a massive brick southern house and boxes are around and Madison is still very pregnant and there's closes all everywhere and some professional organizers are there to help her sort stuff. And yes, I did look them up to see if they were the home edit and they weren't. So, that's the that's the news. We watched one episode of that show that really stuck with you, that one.

28:35 The rainbow. I watched one one episode of that show during the pandemic like years ago. And you're you're you still bring that one up. You really like that one, huh?

28:45 It's not so much that I like it. It's just it stuck in my head cuz there I've seen two organizing shows ever. One was The Home Edit.

28:53 Uh well, I'm not gonna I'm not going to count Marie Condo. She's like her own thing. One was the Home Edit and one was this random ass show that was on HGTV. I don't know if it's still there where the lady was like, "Okay, are you a ladybug? Are you a grasshopper? Are you a cicada?" And it was like that was how she classified you in terms of how you need to organize.

29:12 I'm a fly swatter. Oh, bam. Get out of my house. Le So weird that Leanne Lockan was her first client.

29:21 Welcome to the home edit with Leon Lockan. Wait a minute. I'm editing you out. Wait a minute. I came into the bedroom you're supposed to remodel and other people's clothes are in here.

29:31 It's my bedroom now, [ __ ] We call that an edit. Um, possession is 9/10en of ownership. Back the [ __ ] off, [ __ ] Wait a second. All your stuff is in here. We call that a jump cut. Home edit. Uh, so yeah. So, we go to Madison's and she's like, "Wow, look at me. 31 weeks pregnant. Still look like a Barbie doll." Ain't it ain't it hard, everybody?

30:02 Look at all these clothes I can't wear. Everybody. And so, they're putting her clothes in this closet and um

30:08 she has a dog named Karen. Sorry. She has a what? Of course Madison has a dog named Karen. Oh my gosh. Of course she does.

30:16 So funny. It's so funny. Do you know that my Roomba's original name was Karen? cuz that was like the the Karen thing started in 2020, but our Roombas came in 2019. And so I named my my Roomba Karen cuz I thought it would be a funny name for a Roomba. And then um and then I changed it to to Dolores when because it was part of an ad campaign that we did. So you named yours Ramona. So I named mine Dolores. It would also have a Bravo name. Um but then when the Karen thing got big, I was like, "Damn it, I should have kept my Roomba named Karen cuz I would have been ahead of the Karen wave."

30:50 Isn't that crazy? Like two out of three of our Roomba names have been cancelled. I mean the things that and one won the traitors. Spoiler.

31:00 Oh yes, that is a spoiler. Goddamn Ben. So [snorts] um Logan is she has professional organized over there and they're organizing her stuff. And um Madison's like, "Let's be honest. The fact that I have to dress my body right now, adapting to the weight of my legs, my stomach, my chest, it's grossing me out." I mean, listen, being 53 and being pregnant, it's not made for short girls. It's brutal down there. Is brutal.

31:25 Yeah. So, now she eats a cookie from crumble. And then, which I still have never had a crumble cookie, but I hear they're terrible. I've heard nothing but terrible things about the crumble cookies. But, uh,

31:36 I've never had one that's not dry, but you know, I think it just depend. Cookies are rough because it depends on when you get the cookie. You know, Labraa Bakery is very famous here in LA, and every time I get something that's from Labraa Bakery, like at a grocery store, it's always dry and shitty. And the other day, I happened to get one that was fresh and delicious, and I was like, "This is the most amazing bread I've ever had from a grocery store." And I was so proud of Labra Bakery for finally making it in my mind, you know, cuz I was like, I've tried this for literally 16 years and it's never worked. And I finally got one that was just perfection. Well, I think that if your brand is called Crumble Cookies, we really can't complain about them being dry. I mean, it's it's just right there.

32:18 Yeah. It's in the name. Yeah. You know, when people tell you what their cookies are, believe them.

32:22 Yeah. That's why when people ask me on a date and they're like, "Hey, you want to go out? What's your name?" And I'm like, "Um,

32:29 hating you in a week. What's yours?" You're like, "My name is don't buy chickens for me. It's not going to work." It's not going to work as the middle name.

32:40 So Brett is You know what I think Madison needs right now in this scene? Some charisma. Let's get Brett on the phone.

32:47 Yeah. Hi, Brett. And he's like, I like your overalls. I mean, yeah, it's all for the work I'm doing on the house. I mean, they're just talking about this house.

32:55 That was funny, though, cuz she goes, it's all the work I'm doing on the house. And he goes, yeah, that's good. She goes, you know, that was sarcasm, right? He's like, "Yeah,

33:05 you got to be with all those pas that man, that man is handsome, but he is a bump on a log."

33:12 Yeah. A beautiful a beautiful bump on a beautiful log. Yeah. Yeah. It's not Well, okay. So, she Mass is talking about she never thought she was going to have another baby, but then Brett came along and now she wants to have now they're having another baby and she's excited and yada yada yada. And uh you know they're just they're just talking about boring couply stuff. Honestly, it's just there babies and who and you know houses and Hudson's getting older. So now we go over to Whitner.

33:43 Is everyone okay if we move on from Madison FaceTiming Brett? Yeah, I want to talk about the chicken coop more. Just get me back to the chicken coop. That's all I care about.

33:54 I do. I literally cannot wait till we get back to those chickens. But for right now, we have Whitner and his dog Bakus. Uh, so I love that. I just love the variety of dog names that we've got going on. We've got Bakus, we've got um Karen, and of course, we've got Charles, who we haven't seen much of. Actually, it's funny. We complain about Charles so much, and yet I feel like we don't see Charles anymore.

34:18 Don't forget little Craig. Little Craig. So Austin meets up with Whitner, and Austin, that's cool. got a dog named Packis. But you know, I'm a cat guy now. Starting like three episodes ago. But you're the Pakist. I'm a cat dad. Okay. You want to see my kittens? Here my kittens. It's Martini. Yeah. He's a R. And then Piper. Yeah. Long ear beauty. Yeah. Cat dad.

34:41 Yeah. And winner's like same age. Winner. All right. Like don't get me started on my cats. I'm obsessed with my cats and I call my mother every day. Just tell any woman you know as a man who calls his mother and cats. Same litter is what I say about every season about this show. Oh, the same litter this year. Same litter on my TV.

35:04 We've been calling the men on this show litter for years. Get B. Midler. We need to clean up this litter. [snorts]

35:11 Um, so, uh, like, yeah, I think it's nice to have another male friend in the friend group that isn't named Craig. And Whitner's like, "Yeah, I think Austin likes to talk to me because I you know, you know, I can I can relate to Austin in a way that he doesn't feel like he's being lectured, you know. So, hey, so Austin, are you or are you not like any sort of in any sort of mindset to hang out with Craig, get a couple of drinks? You want to get the whole gang back together because I'm really trying to join this group, but none of you guys are hanging out and chef's all the way in Cuba, so kind of having a hard time making inroads on this TV show. Can you help me out a little bit here, please?"

35:45 Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, I was talking to Craig at Guy's dinner, okay? And uh it was productive. It wasn't productive. I mean, gave me a whole bunch of stories with butts at the end of it. You know, I don't take it as apologies, by the way. I don't take them as apologies, by the way. God damn it, Craig. And u Whitner's like, "Yeah, I agree. I mean, anything before a butt doesn't really count all that much, but you know, he's like, I want to forgive and forget with Craig. It just doesn't feel like it used to, which is smooth. It's easy. Show the pictures." And Craig, he's like hanging on Craig's back on the back of a boat.

36:18 The wind is blowing through their hair. Go the easy times when it was easy breezy. It's like a yacht rock album cover, the two of them. So I I also love like Austin saying like, "Yeah, I never I never accept Craig's apologies." Like, and they cut to a shot of him accepting Craig's apology. You always accept his apologies. So Austin's like, "Yeah, well, not you know, we didn't have to work for it. Like not have to think about it." Well, there's just like something that like, you know, there's something about me that just like triggers him sometimes. I don't know what it is. I'm like, don't listen, Austin, you're being a little hard on Craig. There's something about you that triggers everyone, not just Craig. Close your mouth while you eat.

37:00 I'm a cat dad, though. Yeah, it gets a little hottheaded towards me specifically. It's towards me specifically, bro. And Whitner's like, "Yeah, you know, I'm seeing more of a rivalry than a friendship. A heated rivalry."

37:18 Jack is like, Jack is at home like, "Bink." He's just got like a tent in his pants. He's like, "Oh no.

37:25 Not again." Wait, why did they put Austin on my show? Take Austin out of my stories. Um, so yeah, he says it's more of a rivalry. And uh Whitner's like, you know, Austin has a bit of a victim complex, so he's going to feel like he's being attacked. And Craig has a narcissistic streak, so he's going to want to be controlling. And whether or not those two pieces fit together is, you know, to be determined. Um I think it has been determined. And first of all, I first of all, sir, thank you for that lovely read because you were absolutely correct. And uh they do not fit together. And that's the fun of the show.

38:00 Yeah. Whitney's like, "Oh, it's it's amazing how friendship can sound like a relationship, right?" And Austin says, "Brother, I've literally been dating Craig for years."

38:12 Jack just climaxed. He's like, "Oh god, it was like a whole season in in one scene." Head in a sack. So then, uh, we go over to fish house, deck, and bar. So Venita, she uh heads up a very long staircase and meets up with Leva. And then Rodrigo shows up and Molly and it's time for them to talk [ __ ] So they order some pokey and Leva's like, wait, I always thought it was pokey. Like I've been ordering pokey instead of pokey. Is something wrong with me?

38:43 There's another Leva moment where you're like, you are a restaurant owner. Could you please pretend you're a restaurant owner on this show? Cuz remember last year she had one too where she was like, I mean, what what even is shakuderie? She said something like that where it's like what you don't or like what is duck liver? I don't remember what it was but I remember we were horrified.

39:04 Well, as the great Whitney Houston once sang, it's not right but it is pokey. So Rodrigo says,

39:15 Rodrigo, I believe in you and Poke, the greatest poke of all is happening to me. So then, uh, Rodrigo says, um, I just feel bad because I don't know. I mean, Ma Molly and I have been going to, you know, high low. We're working out and she was my accountability coach and I lost my all accountability and I'm just eating a lot of food. They're basically just like feeling bad about how they look and everything because they're saying they're not working out and stuff. And then uh Venita announced,

39:50 "Why is this every conversation with a gay?" Like seriously, even and I don't even mean on TV like it's not fair. It's like every conversation with a gay whenever we sit down, it's like the obligatory, how's everybody? I feel fat. Okay, here's what I did. this weekend and the reasons I feel fat. I feel like a piece of [ __ ] you guys. I'm a piece of [ __ ] because I ate a Hostess donut last night even though my dog was judging me. Anybody else? Okay, let's gossip now. Okay, got that out of the way.

40:17 I think that's why I struggled with that first episode of Heated Rivalry because I was like, when are they going to talk about how they just feel like they haven't been eating right properly recently?

40:26 Yes. Where was that? I No, but that was a fantasy. that that show was a fantasy because every episode they just showed them working out tirelessly. It's like you know all the years of them struggling while they were on a pelon reading their text seeing if they got a text from them.

40:43 Does So I'm only one episode into heated rivalry. I'm think this weekend I'm going to binge the rest of it. Um question does it does anyone in the fandom ever talk about the fact that those two guys really don't look very much like hockey players? Like they don't have like hockey player builds. Is that ever something that comes up or are we just supposed to just just say go?

41:01 No, I don't understand what that means. Like what do how are hockey players built?

41:05 Hockey players look like they just they look like little walls. They're kind of like little stonehes. They're just they're very blocky. They're very much like you know those things in Super Mario, those big tiles that have like the face on them that go walking around and they fall.

41:21 Yes. Like the big statues. That's what the hockey players look like. My freshman year roommate in college was a hockey player and he was just like he was just a he was just a a rectangle and he was the nicest guy. He such a sweet rectangle and he was French Canadian. I mean I basically had my own heated rivalry except he wasn't gay at all and nothing happened between us but um

41:42 even hotter. I know he was so lovely but he was so French Canadian like he loved blasting Selen Deion and he always hated when I played my music. However, he was okay when I played Sarah McLaclin, who of course is French Canadian. [sighs] The life of a hockey.

42:04 I feel like you could have Yeah, I feel like you could have had sex with him, you know. He was really straight. He was really, really, really straight.

42:12 Sarah McGlaughlin. Sarah Mlatlin. Just leave it there. Freder Okay. So Sally's talking about uh Craig, of course, and well, she's she's talking Well, no, Venita is talking about Sally and Craig, and she's like, "Yeah, you know, Sally and I had a bit of a squabble." And I was just flabbergasted. I was like, "Okay." And I didn't even hug her on her way out. And uh Love's like, "Yeah, it makes me sad because like generally I think you're like such a good friend to Sally, but like Sally's not a girl's girl." Boom.

42:51 Boom. Boom. There it is. There it is. Mea. Me. Va. Girls girl of all girls. Ask the single mom I fired. Um.

43:02 That's right. For drinking when everybody else was also drinking. So Molly, they all agree that Sally is not a girl's girl. By the way, I also like Sally saying the squabble was so bad they didn't even hug afterwards to say goodbye. I'm like, do people normally hug goodbye after a squabble of any kind? But that's fine. So, Venina says, "I expect what I give to people in in friendships." Uh, so the abandonment thing is hard for me because I had a best friend I grew up with from diapers that stopped talking to me when I was in the 11th grade, and I never thought there would be a moment in my life I didn't have her. Then all of a sudden, she disappeared. And it was like, "Okay, wow." And then there's

43:38 Okay, wait, wait, pause. Really? That's the whole story? I need the rest of the story, ma'am, because I've watched you on this show. And just being like, "Yep." Then she for whatever reason, have no idea why. Stop talking to me. What did you do? What did you What did you do? Cuz I believe there's more to this. Okay, there's a whole season here. Call that girl from 11th grade and get her on the show. And also, how does Venita look exactly the same as she did in the 11th grade except different hair?

44:05 That is crazy. Do you think they were like, "Venita, we need we need a picture from from you when she's in 11th grade." And she's like, "I don't have one." And they were like, "Okay, we'll just, you know, put on this wig and then we'll take a picture."

44:18 Exactly the same. So, uh, Vanita's, and then she says, "Sorry, cuz I cut you off, so I didn't want you to get confused." But then she goes, "Um, and then there was a whole JT thing." Um, no. And we see the clip of her at the reunion with JT saying, "In September, you let me know that you and that girl were no longer together. And after that, we were going out on dates. We were working on figuring out if we would actually be boyfriend and girlfriend. And then the super teaser drops and she's in my DMs calling me a goddamn rat. And he goes, "But you knew I had a a girlfriend off camera. I I had a girlfriend." She goes, "Oh, come on. I did not." Um, but then Venita did a podcast recently where she said, "Oh, yeah. I was never with JT. I never even kissed that guy. He had a girlfriend the whole time." Okay. So, which is it, Venita? And this is the problem I have with Venita. I just don't believe her. I

45:07 just don't believe her because she lies and then it's like, did you forget that you lied? That was your entire reunion. Come on, man. At least stick with the lie. I don't even need the truth. Just if you're going to lie on a show, stick with the lie. So, I don't believe you in this fight. And I think you were totally right in this fight against Sally. That's the thing. But I still can't be on your side because of your own podcast confessions. My my hot take is I honestly was never emotionally invested in anything with the Venita and JT thing. I didn't care this about the stuff that was on camera and I just never so that like made it hard for me to get like really invested in like the in like the this this stuff. So I just feel like with Venita Well I guess what I just want from her is um I think what we both want from her is we just want her to stand in her stand in her Venetess a little bit more, you

45:59 know, in the sense of like I just I'm just really upset that she stormed out. I keep on saying stormed out. She didn't storm him out. But I'm just still upset that she left the final scene today early when it could have been such a triumphant Venita moment. I feel like she's so close to being so great on this show and then but she's actually can't quite get there, you know, and that bothers me.

46:20 Um, it bothers me that she tells so many untruths. I mean JT is JT. Like who's rooting for JT? No one. But I mean she did JT pretty dirty. That's

46:32 I mean, who cares about JT though? Whatever. He's fine. He's off in he's off in Bali with none of his

46:39 somewhere. Yeah. With with the with the money he got when he sold his mama's couch.

46:45 So, now we go to the barnyard feed and supply. And um Sally's there uh and Craig shows up and it's time to buy some chickens. So, we know this because she goes, "Ready to buy some chickens?" He's like, "I love places like this. Did you work this morning? I love that he goes, "Did you work this morning and she's dressed fully in scrubs?"

47:06 No, she she just came back from an all night black tie ball. Like what? I just did some free surgery on in my backyard on my friend who suggested I get chicks. That's all. Um yeah, so they go to this barnyard supply place and there's like a representate there's like a dog in a position representing Sally on the ground. It's just like laying there like completely open like please just pet me. I'll do anything you want. just I'm here for you. So she's like, "I'm really into chicks." Well, Craig's really into chicks. Yeah.

47:36 Don't have a ring on my finger, though. I had one at one time. Maybe I'll have another one. Right, Craig? He's like,

47:44 so they go and they go to this like this the chicken area and they look at some chicks and she's like, I want one of those. So they they pull this they they they're basically holding these little chicks and uh Craig is like, "Wow, it's a little chick. Did you know that you're being held by a celebrity with a pillow empire? Congratulations, little chick." And S's like, "Hey, do do that bot. Do that bot." And the store clerk's like, "Well, you know, they might they might pack you if you have a ring on your finger." Hand hand Craig. Little Just give you a little assist there, Sally.

48:18 Yeah. And she's she's that's when she says, "Yeah, I used to have a ring, but I don't anymore." And then the other lady's like, "Don't worry. I used to have a ring, too, and I don't have one anymore either. It's just our little secret girl who can't stay married in a town full of patriarchy." Your secret.

48:37 I used to be an investment banker, and when my man left me, I took a golf club to his windshield. And now I work at the chicken feed store. Anyway, have fun. Me and you. Just us two girls.

48:50 Just us two girls. Just us two girls. Yeah. I'm just here to get some chicks. You trying to get a man? That's why I opened this chicken coop.

49:03 Okay. I've been helping single girls since 1976. Take this chicken and just know by the strike of midnight, this man will be he'll be the same, but you'll just have a chicken at midnight. That's what I'm trying to say.

49:24 You'll still be single, but you'll be less lonely because you'll have little tiny chicken pellets all over your kitchen.

49:31 Is it the stra of midnight or the stroke of midnight? It's the stroke, but I like to say the stra just a little more dramatic that way.

49:38 Jack's like, "What? What? But I'm not doing anything. We're not accusing you of stroking, Jack. Okay, we're talking.

49:44 Jack, take those little miniature hockey masks off the chicks. Someone cancel Craig's HBO.

49:55 Jack has the two chicks on little exercise bikes pedaling fast. So, Sally uh Sally's like, "Well, I could get another, you know, cuz they're holding the chickens." And Craig goes, "Yeah, I thought you were supposed to get chickens in threes." And she goes, "Oh, I've always wanted three kids." Oh god, Sally, you're so sad. You're so sad. Stop. You're hurting my feelings.

50:21 Are you supposed to get chickens in threes? Is that a thing? No, but Craig's a [ __ ] life destroyer, and this is what he does. It's not enough that she's getting one chicken for your approval. No, now she has to get three chickens for your approval. You're going to ruin her lifetimes. Three. Well, according to um Google, getting chickens in threes is a great idea because they are flock animals and three provides a good starter number, ensuring two are left if one is lost, preventing loneliness.

50:48 That's not how threesomes work. That's for sure. You can't prevent loneliness on this show. I'll tell you that much.

50:54 No. And just in general threesomes, I guess threesomes work different for humans because when you have a threesome in real life, there's always just one person like, "Oh, why why are they more into each other than they're into me? Why am I still thinking about Hostess donuts? I just ate them last night. You're always supposed to have three Hostess donuts at a time."

51:16 Thank you. Well, that that's advice I follow. So, um, then, uh, so she was she always I've always wanted three kids to match one for each chicken. That's why I'm excited to see where this potentially could go with me and Craig, cuz we both want to settle down. We both want to have kids. We both want to take care of chickens. Okay, lady. What else do I need? Well, you're going to need a golf club. You got to know where he's going to be at 8:00 p.m. so that way you're not there when he's there. And honestly, if you take a key to the side of his car, that's effective, too. Might I suggest a uh starter pack of a chicken feed and maybe a stack this big of Dick Sporting Goods cards just for when you make them mad.

51:57 Red spray paints so that way you can make sure the penis really pops on the side of his car.

52:04 Some of that spray you spray over their bald spots they feel a little less insecure at the country club. Have you considered um a Molotov cocktail for his living room? [snorts]

52:16 Cyanide. Just cyanide. Here you go. No, no, no. For the chicks. For the chickens. Oh, well, for the chicken you chickstarter. You know, when you ask, "What should I start with?" Chickstarter. Duh. Stupid face.

52:27 You also need grits. Grits. Grits. Okay, I'll take this stuff up for you guys and get everything ready and stuff. Y'all go go ahead and and shoot your scene here. That's what everybody in this episode does. They're like, "Okay, guys. Well, we've uh looked at your baby inside your stomach, so I'm just going to go take care of my customers while you all film a scene. Okay. How far has this clinic fallen?

52:50 Well, Sally, I think you're going to be a great mom and a great wife. I mean, you kissed your sister. Oh, what was he talking about? The chicks. Like chicks kissed each other. I'm not sure. But um so then Sally's like, "Put her back. Put the chicks back." Okay. She's not yours. She's mine. Okay. He's like, "I'm jealous." Cuz usually I'm good at pulling the trigger, but it's like really neat to see you say, "Hey, [ __ ] it. Why not? Let's like get chickens." I find that to be a really attractive quality and someone makes me kind of be attracted to you theoretically. Am I sending the wrong mixed signals to you, Sally?

53:27 You know, I've always been really attracted to the friends of people who are willing to pull the trigger like you just did. God, I wonder how Charlie's doing right now. I wonder how Jack is doing pulling the trigger on those grits over there in the corner. She's like, "Yeah, well, you know what? I see something and I want something. I just do it. I literally ordered a chicken coop the next day after we talked about a chicken coop." And he's like, "See, the hot tub leads to amazing ideas. I mean, like, obviously me and you've gotten to be real good friends, but I've been catching some feelings and I'm just saying like I could date you." And he's like, "Uh uh yeah." Whoa.

54:05 Jack, I'd like to say I could also date you. I could also date you. Just want to put my hand I'm put my put my hat in the ring here, too, before it's too late. Okay. No. Okay. I'll back out. Back to the grits. [gasps]

54:15 When I said chicken starter, I didn't mean you. Gay assistant. Go back to your car.

54:25 So, Greg is like, um, we're just friends. Oh, yeah. Okay. I mean, I guess if you don't see yourself being in a relationship or moving down that path, then why are we hanging out in a hot tub till 4 a.m.

54:42 Because he wants to [ __ ] you, Sally. What are we not getting? I don't I don't understand. It doesn't mean that hanging out in a hanging out in a hot tub wasted till 4 a.m. is not marriage behavior. I don't know where she got that. Like, wait a minute. You don't want to get married? Then why are you hanging out in hot tubs getting wasted with multiple women until 4 in the morning?

55:02 But I will say this though, in Sally's defense, I don't think Sally is opposed to that either. And I I kind of feel like she was in the hot tub till 4:00 a.m. because she thought they were going to [ __ ] and it didn't happen. So she's like um

55:14 well serious. Cuz I think it did kind of happen because remember when uh Cy Corey said something like Yeah. And then like she's just slept over or what? And then Sally just like gave that little eyebrow like, "Oh, well."

55:29 So, I think she was I mean I think she was hooking up with Craig. Don't you? I don't believe that they they weren't Bonan. I mean, do you?

55:38 Yeah. I don't know. I guess I haven't made it clear. I don't know. It's hard to say. So many subtleties in this show at all times.

55:44 It's a very subtle show. But they also use code for things cuz it's a southern show, you know? So they can never just say [ __ ] They have to say, "Spent the night. Took the golf cart out the next day." You know, cuz they have to be very chased, I guess. But, you know, it's like Craig being addicted to aderall. It's coke. Just say coke.

56:02 Just say coke. So, I mean, I've never been in a situation where like a girl really thought I liked her and I didn't. And I think Sally is reading into our interactions in a fantasy way. Um, I'm sure there have been many girls on this show and not on this show who thought that you'd like them and you're I I like I guarantee that Craig gets off by like the attention of women who are fawning over him. So, she's a [ __ ]

56:27 Yes, of course. And also Craig, you know, you have been either [ __ ] Sally or heavily flirting with Sally. It's not crazy for her to think that you would like her. You're such an [ __ ] Of course. And of course you're doing this. Of course you [ __ ] are. Typical. But also, Sally, like Craig's behavior is documented, and you should know better than to invest in a chicken coop just for his affection. So, he's like, "We're just distractions to each other." And like, I have no problem just being friends with you. So, like, what's wrong with that? She's like, "Nothing. We're just friends." And at this point, she's like, "No, I just want to point out she bought her chicks. I did not know this, but like the chicks, when you beget chicks from the store, they come in like a Dunkin Donuts Munchkins box.

57:12 I was like, are there any doughnut holes in there by any chance? Yeah, that's what they come in. I've bought

57:19 really, believe it or not. Yeah, that's a it's a very guilty story. I feel bad because I just I didn't know how to take care of them. They all died. I just felt terrible.

57:27 I'm sorry. So, now let's go to Charlie's apartment. Charlie is uh she is uh trying to braid her own hair and uh you know first time doesn't work out so well, second time nails it. So uh she calls her mom. She's like, "Hey Charlie girl, I've been waiting for you to call. Why'd you forget about your mother? Are you being decent to Okay, well listen, tell me everything. What's going on with your life?" And she's like, "Well, like what's been going on over there, Mom? How's the store?" She like, "Oh, you know, covering both doors just running back and forth. But the good thing is they're side by side like me and your dad because we're in a relationship.

58:02 What's going on with you and your relationships? Nothing. Wow. So, is your is your relationship doing healthy and thriving like my marriage in my store or is it a clearance rack of sadness? How's that going for you, Charlie? And she's like, "Uh, well, my mom is like the owner of two boutiques in my town, and they're like right beside each other, and we see the boutiques, and it's Denise's boutiques, Sweet Tease and Mary Francis Limited."

58:28 Mary Francary Francis Limited. You know, you're going to get some cutting edge designs there.

58:38 It's all the clothes that Mary Francis was inspired to make after she visited Limited 20 years ago. It's making Gwyn's seem very cutting edge. So

58:50 I miss Gwens. We need Gwins. I remember when they were like, "Hey, Catherine, will you do all our social media influencing for us?" And she's like, "Yes." And then it was just like big giant ball gown ruffles but for a tea party.

59:05 I know. I miss I miss it. What a great department store. I mean, we did see I feel like I saw Gwyn's in the back of one of the scenes. This time I refer to it not as the store but the other like whatever that

59:18 lady Gwyn's name was the girl Gwin. Yeah, the daughter of Gwins who was a nightmare and below deck. Um so Denise is like what you doing Charlie? And she's like well I was in the gallery and Craig came in. You should talk about how his friend is an oyster farm. He wants to like go hang out. She's like so you got a date in an oyster farm. Okay. Okay. I mean I prefer my daughter didn't come back smelling like fresh seafood but you know a date's a date. Well, that's nice. I mean, it is kind of like giving the giving the guy the cow when he's getting the milk for free. I mean, give him oysters and everything.

59:48 You know what they say about oysters, don't you, honey? It just leads to sin and sex. Hope he's got a wedding ring in his pocket. She's like, I just I know, but mom, I'm just going to I'm going to feel weird about it cuz Sally is like putting out there that she likes him also. And Denise is like, you will get into a celebrity relationship whether you like it or not.

1:00:08 Okay. Anyway, back to Mary and Francis Limited. We've just been selling out of so many camiso. Okay, go on your date, sweetheart. And don't forget

1:00:17 men outrank women. Okay, honey. Talk to you soon. Yeah, she basically is like, "Don't you dare lose this opportunity. He is wealthy. He is attractive. And he is on TV. Go to the oyster farm."

1:00:35 Yeah. And u Charlie is like, "Yeah, I mean I feel guilty about being excited about my date with Craig cuz I know that Sally would have said yes to a similar date was to ask her." She's like trying to find a way to word it. Just say it. Sally picked Sally. Sally peed on him first. She said that was her man first and it's against girl code to go for the man.

1:00:56 But I mean if you have a defense, it's that Sally said that about every man and she doesn't get to just pick every single man. You don't get to call dibs on every man. Okay? You get one sample. You get one sample, not the whole tray of samples.

1:01:10 That's right. Cuz if the chicken starter doesn't start, it's on to something new. Um, so now we go over to uh Madison getting an ultrasound. And Madison is the name of other Gwins. She was the other Madison. So, but this is nonwins Madison. It's our Madison.

1:01:25 No, I don't want to know the name of the other of Gwyn's. I just want to call her Gwyn's. Her name is Gwins.

1:01:30 Her name is Gwyn's. Um, so Madison's there and Sally's there and um there it's time for an ultrasound. Um, so Sally's like, you know, I do view Madison as like a big sister almost and seeing her get everything she's ever wanted after going through everything she went through just gives me hope and it makes me want it all the more for myself. So that's all nice and everything. Um, I mean, I don't think that like Madison went through years and years on this show of being like, "God, I hope I have a baby. God, I hope I find a really hot guy. She just sort of got those things.

1:02:03 But there were challenges. Obviously Brett had a health scare and um the other thing is I think it's funny that she looks

1:02:10 what Oh yeah, exactly. That was the trauma. Austin, it was that was the trauma. But it's funny that Sally's like I look at Madison as as my big older sister. But note that she did not tell Madison like I just bought three chickens to get to win over Craig cuz Madison would have been like what the hell is wrong with you? Madison's like, "Thank you so much for bringing me this little side of chicken dumplings. This is very, very tender." He's the freshest chicken dumplings I ever had in my life. Where'd you get these? Some farm to table place.

1:02:46 And then we see the baby like they do the ultrasound and we see the baby inside her, which is like horrifying. I mean, it's just like it's just like a little pencil eraser like just melted and smudged up against the lens like this and it's like, "Oh my god, that looks like Hudson." I've never been more offended for somebody. What is Hudson going to feel like watching this and seeing that that's what you think of Hudson? That looks like a booger like flicked up against a window. What are you talking about?

1:03:11 I still I just don't I still don't get it when they show us the ultrasounds on these shows or just like when a friend is like, "Look at this ultrasound. Isn't that a They're so sweet. Isn't that so cute? I'm always like, first of all, on a normal ultrasound, I see nothing. To me, it looks like a sweater pattern. But then on these, the 3D ones, I'm like, it just looks like the the the monster from the abyss. I mean, it's just like I I don't It's like 1993 CGI. Like, it doesn't make any sense to me. I'm like, it's cool. It's cool. You can see a baby's face, but I'm like I It all It all looks the same to me. I just all I see every time I look at an ultrasound is all the extra gum I'm going to have to carry in my pocket for the next 18 years. Like, oh god, I'm always going to have have something for this baby cuz I love it. Oh god, I love it. I went to my friend's house who just had a baby and met the baby for the

1:04:02 first time. Oh my god, this baby is so beautiful and cute. I was just staring at the baby and then the baby was staring into my eyes like it just held icon. We just sat there and stared in each other's eyes while I rubbed the baby's belly and I was like, "Is this weird?" And they're like, "No, no, honey. It's not weird at all." I'm like, "I love you. I'm always going to love you. Alway." Okay, let's start memorizing my number. Okay, it's a Brooklyn number still. Okay, it's going to be a little confusing for you. 7 1 8 I'm your uncle. Uncle Ron. 718. Uncle Ron, I love you.

1:04:36 So, um, now now Sally and Madison are alone. And, um, Madison's like, "Hey, what's the situation with Greg? You didn't do anything dumb like get him chickens or anything like that. She's like, "No, but yeah, but I Hey, I told him, hey, I'm starting to get feelings for you." And then he said, "We're just friends." Oh [ __ ] Yeah, it's [ __ ] up. Cuz I'm like he was flirting with me after that first night in the hot tub. And when he said like, "That was fun." And I said, "Yeah, it was." I mean, I think when a girl says, "Yeah, it was to you saying that was fun," it's pretty obvious you're pretty much married at that point. And can I just point out before we go on with the scene, and I'm so sorry to go back, but they look at the baby. First of all, Sally of course makes it all about her.

1:05:18 She's like, "Oh my god, but I want a baby. I want a happy life like Madison's got." Okay, so they show this baby and Madison goes, "That baby looks fat." Okay, southern mother. That is a southern mother right there. That baby's already got a Weight Watchers. Okay, go ahead. Sorry. Just like it really hit home for me. I was like, damn it. Is it just every southern mother?

1:05:39 Okay. So, um she's like, "Yeah, I mean, you know, he said we're just friends. I mean, that's [ __ ] up. I mean, we we moved in the hot tub together, you know." And um then we see a text message and uh text exchange and Craig's like, "That was fun." And she's like, "Yeah, it was. I should have stayed." "Yeah, you could have if you wanted, but I did want. Invite me to stay next time. Sleep well. I'll see you next week." And he's like, "You, too." Makes it harder to fall asleep than normal. And then he says he just wants to be friends later. So Madison's like he's giving off [ __ ] boy vibes. It's he's not giving off [ __ ] boy vibes. He is a [ __ ] boy. So then Sally Sally was like I read that as hey come sleep next to me. Which is correct. And the producer was like is there any way to misconrue a text like that? And she's like I don't think there's any way to misconrue a text like that. Do you? So Madison's

1:06:31 no I think that he did want to have sex with you and you probably did have sex and I think that you wanted to have sex with him too. I think there's just that line where he thought I'm a [ __ ] boy and you're a [ __ ] girl and so we have this like thing where it's like we're both just messing around because we're both [ __ ] boys so you're not allowed to catch feelings. Do you think that's what is going through his mind?

1:06:53 I think he's keeping Sally as an option. I think he wants Charlie and he's like but you know I'm gonna keep I'm gonna sort of keep something sort of brewing with Sally but then she pushes it to like you now have to make a decision. So he's like okay well if I have to make a decision then no I'm not going to be I'm not going to be anything more with you. But if she had never done that he would have kept it like sort of like like a flirtation's going so that way he has that as an option. So, now we go over to Whitner at a bar and uh he's like he's Craig's there and Rodrigo and everyone and where they're going to all be showing up soon enough. And Whitner's saying that um you know, he was saying that like uh Austin was in good spirits the other day. Um and because like cuz then like Austin went out with like uh he went to a place called High Time.

1:07:45 Spelled Time like T H Y M E. It's a it's word play. High. Oh god. High time. Right. And then uh and so anyway, Austin went out with Sally and Craig is like, "What you mean they're besties? When did that happen?" And Mer's like, "No, they're Yeah, they've just been they're really close. You didn't know that?"

1:08:07 And you see that Craig is really bothered. Like really bothered. It's funny. I love that Craig shows his anger on his face so clearly. He's like, "Um, what Austin's close with Sally?" And he's like, "Yeah, oh, I didn't know that." So now here comes Craig the Wrecking Ball to complete completely decimate Sally because what has Sally done? She has messed up his [ __ ] boy arrangement with her. And now he she has liked Austin this whole time. So Craig didn't want her. But now that he knows that she probably wants Austin, he's going to ruin her life.

1:08:41 Right. So he's like, "That's strange. The two of them hanging out because Sally tells everything everything." And Austin doesn't tell anyone anything, right? I'm like, I don't see your point in in this. That sounds actually like a perfect pairing.

1:08:55 And and obviously she doesn't tell everyone anything cuz she didn't know that she was even close with Austin.

1:09:00 I know. Ah, sucker. So, uh, Rodrigo and Austin arrive and it's like, "Oh my god, I'm wearing a pair of shoes that I've never worn before and I kind of went for it. Isn't it crazy? Oh my god, I'm a cat dad. The shoes are Garfield slippers. Cat dad. Get that. I like when Craig said, "You and Rod dress the same and me and Whit dress the same." Yeah, cuz your guys in Charleston. There's like four things you guys wear.

1:09:26 Khakis and Tommy Bahama flowered shirt. Yeah. Tommy Bahama shirts and Dockers. That's it.

1:09:32 So, over at Madison's house, she's, you know, got the pajama party uh going on. She's got setting it all up and everything. Venita shows up and promptly drives all over the curb and uh she she comes on in and M's like, "Oh, sorry about that. This still under construction here a little bit." Okay, why don't you put that right there? So, oh, she goes, "Will you not put that right there?" Cuz Vonita puts her bag on the counter and it's like, [gasps] "What's wrong? There's tension." And she's like, "No, no, we're just going to make pizza over there. Put it somewhere else."

1:10:04 [clears throat] So, um, we see scenes of Anita looking at the house being like, "Oh my god, is this like 6,000 square feet?" She's like, "Yeah, it sure is. My husband's a firefighter. Suck at everybody." So, um, she tries on some PJs cuz she's got PJs for everybody. And, um, then I don't know, it's kind of boring. You know, the some of the girl scenes sometimes just start off like I mean, I guess the guy scenes do too. They just talked about patterns. They're just like, "You want something to drink?" "Sure. I've been dehydrated."

1:10:33 "You want some electrolytes?" I was like, "Oh god, this episode's going to suck."

1:10:38 I know. Me, too. I was like, "Uh oh." Um, it's not it's not like the girls nights of of casts past, you know, cuz there once was a really really strong cast of women on this show who have also been fired because they are no longer having sex with the men on this cast. But that's another story for the HR that doesn't exist on this show, Whitney. So, Venita says, "Well, hopefully today will be good because I haven't seen Sally in like a week." Oh, yeah. I saw her the other day. She came with me and we saw a baby. Brought me the most delicious chicken. And Craig basically said, "It's not going to be anything more than a friendship." And I think he kind of gave her false hope. And he was like, "Yep, I knew it." She's like, "Part of me wants to be like, "Duh." But the other part part of me wants to be like, "Damn, I'm sorry." But yeah, I told your ass you were going to get friend-zoned by Craig.

1:11:22 H. So, um, Madison's like, "But doesn't he like Charlie?" And she's like, "Yeah." Uh, and I think it's going to hurt Sally's feelings when that comes out. I wonder if it will ever come out.

1:11:35 Yeah, but how is she the only person that Well, I think that she does know that he likes Charlie. She just is going to like try and win, you know, versus Charlie. So then, uh, we go back to the guy's night and Craig's like, um, I asked Charlie to go to the oyster farm with me, like Trey's oyster farm. And Austin says, on a day. On a day, Craig. Yeah. I didn't say date. I just said, "Hey, you want to go to my friend's oyster farm?" Because then, like, if she had said no, then I would have been like, "Yeah, yeah, of course. Obviously, like I'm totally into Sally anyway.

1:12:05 We've got chickens together." Yeah. Craig is so slippery. He's not even committing to say that this is a date. So, um, so then Austin's like

1:12:14 Craig is like the kind of guy that like who who needs to know like that he is insecurely first and he has to hear it from like two different references and get annotated bibliography and then he'll like ask around. [clears throat] Okay. So then Madison back at Madison's uh Charlie

1:12:30 annotated bibliography. It's not his best work. Um, so people are showing up and they're like they're like looking Madison has some crazy, you know, oven that Venita can't figure out and she's like, "Get the Louis Vuitton of ovens." Which does not act. I don't I don't feel I don't want to hear that it's the Louis Vuitton of ovens. That actually makes me trust it less. Um,

1:12:54 like what do I care? I ain't gonna cook. So, they're working on that because they're gonna be setting up their their whole pizza station and everything. And more people show up. Charlie's there. This girl Lauren is there who's like Madison's friend who is upstairs. She comes down and um uh Venita is asking if Sally's going to be arriving and Molly says that uh that Sally is tending to her chickens. Yeah. Um then Sally does come and uh she's like, "Oh wow, Madison, this is incredible. You look so cute. You just look so cute. You know, after I went and saw that little baby inside of you the other day, I just went home. I was driving the whole way home and I couldn't stop crying and saying over and over again, "Wasted eggs. Wasted eggs."

1:13:38 I don't know what that was about, but feel much better now. Good to see you. So, um, there's like there's coldness between Venita and Sally. And she explains, "Honestly, Venita was right about Craig, but I'm just like a little bit annoyed with her saying like, don't call me when the [ __ ] hits the fan. Like, I'm mad now." Um, so she's still like I mean Venita was right. You just have to deal with it. But uh she's mad now that like Venita was right and that she doesn't feel like she can you know call her up and be like hey dump me.

1:14:12 But she warned you. Sorry. Sorry lady. Yeah. You know I feel like part of it is just that Venita was like he is gonna just destroy. He's going to walk you like a dog on a leash and then na na na I mean I think that look anybody any couple of people that like each other or one likes the other they have a right to say it and the other person has a right to not be as into it as the other person. So at this point I don't really think Craig has done anything that terrible but don't worry cuz he's about to

1:14:46 Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. He hasn't at this point I'm like it wasn't totally right. I mean, he Greg didn't like destroy the girl or anything. Like, he didn't totally [ __ ] her over, but oh, he's about to. Venita is about to become completely 100% right.

1:14:59 If there's anything we know about Craig is that he doesn't like being the bad guy, and so now he is going to immediately start painting Sally to be the crazy one and villainizing her. So,

1:15:10 because it's two things, it's double pronged. He's gonna look like the bad guy because of the Sally thing, but Sally has all he's also just found out that Sally has chosen Austin without Craig even knowing it. And so Craig is going to [ __ ] try to destroy this girl. What a pig. What a [ __ ] pig. You know, and people in the comments who are like, "You guys always tell me to Craig." No, no, no. It's non-stop. It's non-stop. It's Paige paper. It's not because of Paige. It's because of Craig. We've been watching Craig every episode of this show. We know Craig's [ __ ] and we don't [ __ ] fall for it. Okay.

1:15:42 So, if you if you think it's something to do with Paige, you are sadly mistaken. Rewatch this show. Craig is terrible.

1:15:49 Yeah. I mean, we've been we've been down on Craig so often. I mean, we've definitely had times where we've been very up on Craig. You know, we've we've hung out with Craig and he's very lovely in person, but like the truth is on this show, he's kind of garbage and that's just how it is. And honestly, if you like Craig and you're mad that we don't like Craig, that's fine, too. But like

1:16:12 Yeah. Yeah, of course. But like I'm But I'm like I'm not phased. If someone's like mad mad at me cuz I don't like Craig, I'm going to be like

1:16:20 you're wasting your anger on me right now. Or any of the guys on this show because they all take turns being complete [ __ ] Like this this season Austin's getting a good one cuz Austin's playing it very smart. Austin's really learned how to do it. Get a girlfriend out of town so no one will see you treating her like [ __ ] or ignoring her or doing whatever and you use her that way. Get a couple of kittens. Get the audience back on your side. I mean, he's playing it right. Chef's playing it right where he's just like, "Well, of course, I'm just a boy who loves Cuba and communism." You know? So, he's doing that whole thing. He's staying out of it. So, Craig's the only one in the muck this season.

1:16:58 Yeah. So, uh, meanwhile at the bar, uh, you know, Craig's like, "What are the girls up to tonight?" And Rodrigo reveals that they're doing a pajama party over at Madison's house. I was like, "Whoa, whoa, what if we like go to the next bar and like make it a plan? We can then we can like cr We should cr" Cuz Craig's like, "We should crash it." Yeah, but let's go to a bar first. We get drunker and then we crash it because that'll be even better if we're drunk and crash it at the same time.

1:17:21 Yeah. Um, so where are we? Boys, Austin. Sorry, I got So then meanwhile the girls the girls are in the living room

1:17:29 and has chef caught his marlin yet. What' you say? Chef has chef caught his marlin. Yeah. So chef is in Cuba and they're looking at pictures and us like hey we just need to turn it up. Oh look at this. Chef just texted G. God look at everybody. I'm back on the mainland. Whoa. Chef got himself a [ __ ] Marlin. They're like wow. Winner's like on a fly too. Nice. LIKE WOW MARLIN. WOW. GARF. WOW. WOW. I'm like Hemingway in Cuba right now. So, the girls are in the living room and they're like, you know, Mat's like, "Well, I wonder what the guys are doing up to tonight." And Molly's like, "Probably something probably something lame, like not playing a small tuba."

1:18:16 And Madison's like, "Well, Sally, I hope you don't mind. I told Venita and Molly about Craig." She's like, "Well, I'll tell you guys all day." I tried to tell him I had feelings for him and he was making me feel like my feelings were insane. And so of course

1:18:29 told you told you like told you and she goes, "I'm going to kick myself in the foot for saying this, but why didn't you call me?" And she goes, "What? You told me not to call you when I had conflicts with Greg." She goes, "I know. Don't get pissy with me. Um, you're the one sitting there like laughing at her pain, ma'am."

1:18:49 Yeah. Seriously. I mean, even though you you you earned this, "I told you so." But you're literally laughing, laying back, and saying, "I told you so." And then saying, "Why didn't you call me?" Uh, you told her not to call you.

1:19:02 Yeah. So, so of course, Venita is like getting her, she can't help it. She's going to get her her victory lap, even though she's irrationally upset that she didn't get called. And so, Venita's like, she's like, "Well, that's crazy. This is crazy." And I was like, "Well, tell me what is crazy." Are you [ __ ] kidding me? Are you kidding me? I gotta go home. I'm like, wait, Vanita, this is not a big enough. Like, you're just barely starting the issue here. Like, it's barely starting to fight. You can't leave right now. Like, you're just the foothills.

1:19:31 She left because Venita says, "I mean, come on. I just hate that you had to find out the hard way. I'm not mad at you." And Sally goes, "Well, yeah, you have no reason to be mad at me." She goes, "Okay, well, I'm out of here." So now Venita is upset, which is too bad because she's about to miss out on like her biggest redemption ever, which is when Craig and Austin come over in about five minutes.

1:19:55 Yeah. No, not a wise move. So she's like, she's dismissed my feelings. She shows no regard for me and she doesn't hear me when I talk. I can't even. So I'm leaving. And she's like, why are you so dramatic? She goes, I'm not that dramatic. Cuz she's leaving kind of quietly. It's not like she's like storming out angrily or anything. She's just like, "I'm leaving." And she goes, "But you are dramatic." And she says, "Venita's being immature and she's not putting up with Venita [ __ ] anymore." She can't. So Venita leaves. And then boom, the guys go to share house. And uh Austin orders ORANGE CRUSH. ORANGE CRUSH FOR EVERYBODY. Orange crush everyone.

1:20:31 Orange crush. Speed. Got that. All right, everyone. Speaking of crushes, you and Charlie have a thing, right? I like No. No. Well, come on. Crack. It's like, well, we've never got to hang out away from Sally before, so we're like, let's do a fun thing because Sally's crazy. Always showing up. Hash soccer. I'm scared.

1:20:49 Here it goes. Here it goes. He's going to villainize Sally now. And now it's Sally's fault that he's never hung out with Charlie. And so he's like, "Yeah." So we were like, "Let's go do a thing." No, you were like, "Let's go do a thing. Stop making it sound like Charlie was like, "Oh my god, Sally's always around. Let's go do something." Just me and you. No Craig. No reframer.

1:21:09 Yeah. Seriously. So, but you know, this is Craig. This is exactly what he does. He's always going to make other people seem like the crazy ones. He's always going to try to like do this nar. He just did it with Paige, right? So, he's like, "Here's the thing. I've been spending too much time with Sally, but the truth of the matter is the main reason I go out with him is cuz I like hanging with Charlie. I barely even know who S. Who is Sally? I'm confused. I never even met her before. I just thought she was the car that Charlie drives and I like to get in the car.

1:21:39 That's it. Yeah. Okay. But like she was like your best friend for a month. And Austin, hanging out with someone doesn't make them your best friend. And Rodrigo's like, "Uh, I think Sally thought there was something between you." He's like, "Yeah, cuz she's like always around." Like whatever. And Craig Austin's like, "Craig is completely minimizing, disregarding their friendship. It's like the faucet is on and he just runs it dry and then you're like, man, you don't know how to turn a friendship on and off. It's very, very strange. Very strange.

1:22:12 You know what else is like a faucet turning on and off? Austin when he speaks. Seriously, I just covered my computer in spit. [gasps]

1:22:20 I'm just concerned that Charlie's going to be stressed out because she's constantly worried about how Sally feels. She's scary. We should run her out of town. Austin's like, "Thank God you bought chickens and not bunnies cuz they'd all be boiled."

1:22:36 I don't look Austin's like, "Well, I think that now it becomes a thing, Greg." Like, you might divide a friendship of all of a sudden by doing that. What? No, I would never do that because anytime Charlie and I would even talk, Sally would pop up and say, "What are you guys talking about? What are you guys talking about?" I mean, Sally is chaos, man. It's a tornado. You never know who's going to get sucked into it and you never know who's going to get like it's going to get killed. Okay.

1:22:59 It's going to get head. You never know where it's going to get head. But I I mean you never know where it's going to head. But I like that you thought of it. You never know who's going to get head.

1:23:09 I like I misread I misread the notes and I was like wait but it made so much sense.

1:23:16 The thing is this, okay? Like there is a shredded truth to this which is that Sally marks her territory and then she's going around like you're not talking to Craig, are you? You're not talking to Craig. You're not talking to Craig. Like she definitely does do that. But like Craig, as far as we can tell, has always been fine with it. Has always been happy. And then now all of a sudden within the span of like 12 hours since the chicken feed store, he's like, "She is a tornado of chaos and she's going to suck you in and you're going to be lucky if you make it out alive." Why did you go to the chicken feed store with her? I mean, could there be anything more chaotic than going to a pet store?

1:23:48 Well, also he's maybe he's right and that she does do that stuff, but he's the one seeding the tornado by flirting with Sally. If he knew that he like she he she liked him the whole time and he's still inviting her over to do the hot tub and this and that just to make Charlie jealous. Like, he's doing that on purpose and making her.

1:24:04 It's like he's making her crazy and then saying she's crazy, you know? Yeah. Typical [ __ ] Craig. It's just right out of his playbook. It's so [ __ ] gross. when he started doing this, I was booing my TV. And I was happy that the other guys were being kind, you know, and that Austin and Rodrigo were at least sticking up for her. I mean, Rodrigo mostly just by like raising his eyes and his glasses and looking around the room as he does, but he did say a couple things and I like that Austin stuck up for her and he was like, "She doesn't bring chaos. She's like fun and single and cute. She got her hair this season." And Craig is like, "None of this is like malicious. I'm not I'm just I'm telling you that much of our decisions are based around Sally. I mean me and Charlie go to this oyster bar tomorrow and now it's like how how upset is Sally going to be. Like it just confirms already like what I already

1:24:50 thought that this might be too much chaos to continue to hang out with Sally. So let's get rid of her from our friend group cuz like I'm done toying with her so why is she even on this show anymore? This show is about us getting to [ __ ] with women till we're done with them and then getting them fired. So fire her already.

1:25:05 I know. I mean, like I it is annoying when there is that one person where like no matter what you it's like if you like decide you want to go to dinner with someone, it's like but we didn't invite so and so. Oh no. Like uh and then you spent all your time worrying about this other person instead of just going to [ __ ] dinner. Like I get that. But Craig is sort of he's really kind of like

1:25:26 cuz he's been pussyfooting around it the whole time. Yeah. Like she's like that because he's making everybody think that he likes everybody. So then, you know, Austin's like, I just feel like Sally has a really good and kind heart. You know, almost like what people say about cat dads. So Craig is like, Austin should be happy for me, but whenever I get excited to tell him something, he just turns it negative. When you can't share with your friends, wins with your friends, you just don't want to talk to him anymore about Oh, come on.

1:25:53 Oh god. Sharing his wins. The win is that you asked Charlie to an oyster farm that you won't even like acknowledge as a date. That's the win. loser behavior and loser behavior.

1:26:05 Sadistic and psychotic. So now he pulls a Venita. He's like, "I'm going home." Oh, that's what you're going to do right now, Greg. He's like, "Yeah, cuz this is exhausting. I'm going to watch a movie. See you guys. Bye."

1:26:20 So he go he goes home and then the guys decide to go to Madison's. They knock on the They like bang on the door and everything. They come in and they all say hi and everything. Oh my god, it's cute. Dude, it's a pizza party. yada yada yada yada. They're talking. So Austin's like, "Okay, all right. This the suspense is killing me. All right, this is this is fun. Oh, I can't wait to talk." And Matt's like, "Why isn't he here? Why isn't Craig here?" He's like, "Oh, well, Craig's not here." Basically, because I think he's like mad at like Sally. Cuz he was like very quick to be like, "Oh, me and Sally are done." And Sally's like, "What what exactly did he say about me?"

1:26:54 Yeah. He's like, "You're a tornado." And uh I mean basically he said he called you a tornado but we had to reshoot it cuz they thought that wouldn't be nice for Bravo. But he said you basically leave a path of destruction wherever you go. Dead chickens feathers everywhere. She like oh what? What? And what does he [ __ ] leave then? Well I thought that was an unfair characterization. I'm like you've been hanging out with Sally for like a month. Like a month.

1:27:18 Yeah. Texting me that you want me to stay at your [ __ ] house. You [ __ ] loser. Yeah. And he was like, "Yeah, well, I've been thinking about this for a long time." That Sally is like this and that and the other, not the other. I mean, he said he's been thinking about this for a long time. I didn't even know he could think. What a [ __ ] prick. I'm going to freak the [ __ ] out. So much for having your back, you so [ __ ] hard, you [ __ ] [ __ ] Seriously, I wish that y'all brought him here so I could look him dead in the eyes and say, "Fuck you, dead eyes."

1:27:47 And then he just gets juicy. It just gets juicy for Sally and Charlie where it's like I don't think that Charlie can be the person that she wants to be when Sally's around. What? Charlie has a voice on this. And then Rodrigo finally ascending to the role of the messy gay he should have always been goes he goes wait but like Charlie's about to go on a date with him. So don't scare her. and she goes Molly's like Molly's like and they're all

1:28:14 and I actually genuinely think that I mean he was being messy but I also everyone everyone was like what and Charlie was like um okay okay okay okay be decent be decent okay look look I haven't said anything because like I was waiting until we could be alone Sally but yesterday in my art gallery we were like literally talking about oysters and he was like hey one of my friends has a low country oyster farm we can go on a tour of it. And then Jack was like, "I would love to." And he said, "No, not you, Jack. Sadly, I mean Charlie." And I was like, "Me? Are you sure? Not Jack."

1:28:43 He's like, "No, you for sure." And then Jack went off and cried. Anyway, we're going to the Oysters tomorrow. I said, "That sounds fun." So, I was like, "Well, this is news to me cuz you told me a couple weeks ago I would say no to a date with Craig if he asked me." So, it's just like confusing. And I want honesty from you. Yeah. But,

1:29:00 and this is Are we gonna say the same thing? Are we gonna say the same thing, Ronnie?

1:29:04 No. You say it. I'm like, listen, I can't help but feel like this is a bit of a echo of what happened with Venita and Sally in the beginning of the season right?

1:29:19 Was that what you were saying? Vonita was like, "Craig did me dirty. Like, don't hang out with him." Like, like, "You shouldn't hang out with him because you because he was mean to me, basically." And Sally was like, "I'm still going to do it." And now Sally is like, "Wow." like, you know, you should say no to a date to him because he was just mean to me.

1:29:40 Well, but no, she's because she's saying she's not saying you should say no cuz he was mean to me. She's saying you said you didn't even want to date Craig and now you're going to date Craig. But the reason she said she didn't want to date Craig is because you were pressuring her to say she didn't want to date Craig when you knew she liked Craig and you were calling dibs on Craig. Like you saw them flirting at that beach thing and you were like, "You're not flirting with Craig, right?" She's like, "No, no, no. I mean, we're just friends. I mean, can I just talk to a guy without being a huge flirt thing? And so she's like, "You said you didn't even want him and you did this whole time."

1:30:11 But, you know, again, you're not allowed to just call dibs on everybody in the cast. You know,

1:30:15 I apologize cuz my excitement was slightly premature because my point makes more sense in about 3 seconds because Charlie says, "My point will make my point will be a relevant point in 3 seconds. Everyone, just just you wait." Because Charlie is like, "Well, if I'm being completely honest, I'm not over here trying to justify anyone's behavior. I just enjoy spending time with him. So when he asked me the low country oyster thing, I said yes because I generally want to go and I'm excited about it. So Sally goes, "Okay, well have fun on your date and if he's going to write me off like that, then [ __ ] him." And that was the bonita point right there cuz she's like, "He just wrote me off. He just basically said [ __ ] this girl." And so like, [ __ ] him.

1:30:50 And she goes, "Craig is manipulating both of us and he's been at at doing it all [ __ ] summer and I'm finally realizing it. I wish someone had told me before. I wish someone had sat me down and said, "You should know that this would happen, and it will take a longer time to realize it, but you will realize it." So, basically, Sally is literally saying all the things that Venita said to Sally throughout the season. Sally, first, Venita said, "Hey, this guy was [ __ ] mean to me. Like, you shouldn't you shouldn't go and like hang out with him because he was mean to me." And then Sally says, "Okay, you're I'm sorry."

1:31:20 Then Venita says, "Okay, you're going to go hang out with him, but just know he's going to he's he's a [ __ ] and he's going to [ __ ] with you." And now Sally is literally saying the same things to Charlie. And I was like, "You don't even see this, Sally. You don't even see what's going on here."

1:31:35 Yeah. She goes, "I wish he was here right now cuz I'd seriously slap him across the face and I will show him a [ __ ] tornado." Good. Bring this season to life, Sally. I believe in you.

1:31:47 I really I was like I I was I was afraid this episode was descending into Doulsville, but I got very energized by this whole scenario at the end. So, I'm back I'm back in. back,

1:31:56 you know, and it it it really did take the guys coming to girls night because Austin is so [ __ ] messy. I love it. Austin's just like one of the girl casts, you know? He's like, "Okay, this episode's boring and Craig left. Let's go. Let's go [ __ ] with Craig at the other girl's house then." At the girls house. Let's go to the girls party.

1:32:14 So good. So good. Good times. Good times, everybody. Yeah, this was a fun one. Thanks for being with us, everybody. Um, we will be back tomorrow with some Beverly Hills and some Traders and some something else. Oh, some Valley Persian style. It's a big day tomorrow. So, come back for that and get tickets over at watchcraftins.com for the Golden Krappies on February 27th. And we will talk to you next time. Bye.

Questions about this episode

Who speaks in "Southern Charm S11E07: Chick Me Girl*"?

Ronnie Karam (Host), Ben Mandelker (Host), Sally (Guest), Craig (Guest), Venita (Guest), Austin (Guest).

What is "Southern Charm S11E07: Chick Me Girl*" about?

In this discussion, Ronnie and Ben celebrate National Bagel Day while navigating personal anecdotes, including a disappointing bagel experience. The conversation blends humor and casual banter as they contemplate the significance of food-related holidays and speculate on future bagel-themed days.

What is mentioned in this Watch What Crappens episode?

14 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Golden Crappies, Amazon, Heated Rivalry, Bagels, National Bagel Day, Low Country Oysters. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "Southern Charm S11E07: Chick Me Girl*"?

The episode runs 1 h 33 min; the transcript is about 18,997 words in 288 timestamped sections.

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