The Valley Persian Style S1E03: Trunk No Show

What this episode is about

The discussion revolves around the promotion of the Golden Krabby Awards, a major event celebrating the best in reality television, where fans are invited to participate in the nomination process. Additionally, there's a mention of the bonus Patreon episodes and an ongoing conversation about recent developments in the reality TV series "The Traitors."

Key takeaways

• Welcome to Bravo's existential crisis: where Gigi's emotional baggage comes with a side of knives.
• The Golden Krabby Awards – where reality TV celebrates its finest disasters and our questionable viewing choices.
• In the Valley, maturity is optional but melodrama is mandatory—just ask Gigi and her entourage of chaos.
• Historically, messy relationships on reality TV age like fine wine—until they turn sour and make us cringe.
• Mom shaming? In the podcasting realm, it's a competitive sport—just check the Gigi playbook for pointers.

Who speaks in this episode?

• Ronnie Karam (Host) · 32 min speaking
• Ben Mandelker (Host) · 32 min speaking
• Gigi (Guest) · 6 min speaking
• Dennis (Guest) · 3 min speaking
• Sky (Guest) · 6 min speaking
• Tannon (Guest) · 3 min speaking
• MJ (Guest) · 3 min speaking
• Tommy (Host) · 3 min speaking

What is discussed, and when

1. 0:00 – 10:00: Gigi, Only Fans, Sky, Paulina
2. 10:00 – 20:00: Only Fans, MJ, Tannon
3. 20:00 – 30:00: Tannon
4. 30:00 – 40:00: Only Fans, Tannon
5. 40:00 – 50:00: MJ, Tannon, Only Fans, Charlotte Di Vita
6. 50:00 – 1:00:00: Tannon, Charlotte Di Vita

Notable quotes from "The Valley Persian Style S1E03: Trunk No Show"

• Get your tickets at watch what crapins.com, won't you? We are also getting nominations together. You guys help us put this show together. We have a.

  about Golden Krabby Awards · at 1:21

• Just get it together, lady. Why? Why do we have to be subjugated to watching some stupid fight with Gigi and this guy Dennis? who is this guy? Does anyone care about this guy? There's like so there's like no stakes attached to.

  about Gigi · at 3:24

• Happening around town. Amir and Natasha are boxing. She does not look happy or interested in any of this. Gigi is getting a tour of a house that is clearly outside of our price…

  about Only Fans · at 7:16

• So, you can write that in Farsy. Thank you. So, now they're talking about this party she's gonna have. She's going to have a trunk show to show off her great amazing ladybug…

  about Sky · at 11:33

• Conversation where I reminded him that he's like a piece of [ __ ] husband and I don't like talking to him and I have more sexual chemistry with a grandfather clock. and it was…

  about Tannon · at 20:07

• We're talking to R.J. Reza Jackson. They all call him R.J. The producers's hey R.J., what do you say to people who think that you're not masculine? He goes, Yeah, that's called…

  about Ali Reza · at 32:30

• And then MJ shows up. Vita's already there, so she's saying hi and everything. And then Amamir and Natasha arrive. And then Greg tells R.J.

  about Charlotte Di Vita · at 43:09

• So, she's Yeah, Tommy's absence is starting to wear on me, but like I know it's complicated cuz Tommy and Reza have seen haven't seen each other in five years. So, you want to roll.

  about MJ · at 46:40

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

• Gigi — Person · Primary referenced cast member / conflict driver · 3 mentions · first at 2:46
  Central subject of the episode recap: her past marriage to Dennis, her confrontation with him, and her behavior at Skye's event (e.g., smoking, OnlyFans talk) drive most commentary.
• MJ — Person · Referenced main cast member / marriage storyline · 5 mentions · first at 13:05
  Her marriage with Tommy and tension involving her mother Vita are recurring topics; she’s also present at Skye’s event and discussed as balancing career and relationship strain.
• Sky — Person · Referenced main cast member / event host · 2 mentions · first at 7:58
  Hosts the trunk show and is central to the episode’s group setting; her conflict with her husband (bartender issue, public arguing) is a major subplot.
• Ali Reza — Person · Referenced main cast member / relationship storyline · 1 mention · first at 7:50
  Discussed in multiple scenes: domestic life with Adam (tabouli, business idea), relationship ‘check-in’ about affection, and group gossip dynamics.
• Tannon — Person · Referenced main cast member / marriage conflict subject · 15 mentions · first at 17:47
  Her dissatisfaction with Greg (lack of affection, independence issues) is a major storyline; she also appears as a confidante to Gigi and participant at Skye’s event.
• Charlotte Di Vita — Person · Referenced supporting cast / family member · 2 mentions · first at 43:09
  MJ’s mother figure in the recap; appears at Skye’s event and at MJ/Tommy’s home, and is used as a comparison point in MJ–Tommy conflict.
• Paulina — Person · Referenced off-screen figure in backstory · 2 mentions · first at 4:10
  Mentioned as the friend Dennis dated after his brief marriage to Gigi; used to explain the history and stakes of the Gigi–Dennis conflict.
  You know I'm wrong at least 60% of the time, but I'm pretty sure if my gossip memory serves, I believe it was Paulina who ended up hooking up with this guy and I think Gigi punched her somewhere and got in trouble.
• Kessa — Person · Referenced cast-adjacent figure / gossip topic · 1 mention · first at 9:22
  Mentioned in the OnlyFans discussion (Skye learning what it is) and later as someone Gigi met via a podcast invite; functions as a minor social-graph connector.
  And so she's telling Bombshod, she's Oh, something I found out last night. Kessa, she has an Only Fans page. And we see shots of Gigi's only fans, which is her, like topless…

Companies & orgs

• Bravo — Company · Referenced entity · 1 mention · first at 1:58
  Mentioned in the context of discussing shows and events related to the Bravo network.
  Like I feel like I have a pretty good memory, but there are just so many things that happen over the course of the calendar year on Bravo that I don't know, we just have a lot…

Concepts & topics

• Only Fans — Concept · Core topic · 10 mentions · first at 7:21
  Discussed in the context of Gigi's activities and the broader conversation about content creation and monetization.

Places & events

• Golden Krabby Awards — Event · Key event · 1 mention · first at 1:11
  Promoted as a significant event hosted by the podcast, with tickets available for listeners.

Full transcript with timestamps

0:05 Welcome to Watch What Crappins. To get our videos as soon as they're released instead of waiting for a week, head over to our Patreon. That's also where you'll find our bonus episodes and our Discord community. We love you guys. Hello and welcome to Watch What Crap and a podcast for all the crap we love to talk about on Ye. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben over there. Hello, Burn.

0:35 Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. How are you? How are you? How are you? Supraki. We just talked about the traitors for our bonus episode. So, go check that out over on Patreon for episodes four and five. Fun show. on show got us pretty riled up as usual.

0:54 Very riled. Yes, that's our bonus episodes on Patreon. Patreon is also where you get our ad free episodes and our video episodes. You can see us right now looking very handsome. Uh so do that. Also, um February 27th, guess what it is? It's the Golden Krabby Awards. The biggest award show in the business. People come to Los Angeles and see us at the Fonda Theater Friday, February 27th. Get your tickets at watch what crapins.com, won't you? We are also getting nominations together. You guys help us put this show together. We We have a bunch of stuff on Instagram happening in the next week or so where you're going to give your nominees for best show, best villain, best etc etc best, etc.

1:42 Um, and we are going to pull those all together for nominees. So, be over on our Instagram, watch what Robins, people.

1:50 Yeah, that be great. It's going to be great. It's going to be so great. I'm excited.

1:55 Yeah, I'm excited, too. It's a good month. It's a good couple months for us. You know, this is like our pre-pro. It's like our pre-production. So, it's like super fun to talk about the year in Bravo again. Write music, get all sorts of stuff together. I started to uh already assemble some of the the things that people on Reddit had pulled together, had suggested, and so I was just loading them into good old Google sheet. Just so many funny things like I I feel like I have a pretty good memory, but there are just so many things that happen over the course of the calendar year on Bravo that um I don't know, we just have a lot to choose from. It'll be a good one. Good one this year. Yes. So, today is the Valley Persian style. It's They should have called it the Valley. That's all person.

2:40 Oh, season 1, episode 3, Bartender Blues. I was thinking a good name for it would have been called would have been the Valley Gigi is still exhausting style. That would have been a really good one. I think really would have gotten right to the core of this show.

2:55 Yeah. You know, it's a town where people don't want to grow up. And I get it. It's kind of the theme of the regular valley. You know, guys that don't want to grow up. And this one is Gigi who doesn't want to grow up. Um, but it's like

3:08 at some like it's kind of cute, you know, like when you're younger it's like, "Haha, I carry knives everywhere. I'm hilarious. I have anger issues. I'm going to stab you. I'm going to cut off your nuts." And then at some point it's just like you're you're a sad person. And if you didn't have a dad supporting you, you'd be under a bridge somewhere. You know,

3:25 just get it together, lady. Why? Why do we have to be subjugated to watching some stupid fight with Gigi and this guy Dennis? Like, who is this guy? Does anyone care about this guy? There's like so there's like no stakes attached to this fight. And yet we have to like spend an entire episode building up to it and then watching it and then be teased that next week this guy shows up again. I'm like, what? Why? Why? Why? We don't care. like this this is you're taking us back to like lowoint shaws instead of riding the highs of the of this valley premiere from last week.

4:02 Well, you know, you've al you I think you're forgetting some of the history here and I don't know if you know it because we haven't talked about it yet, but this guy she was married to for five minutes or whatever. The friend that he ended up going out with was Paulina. Did you know that?

4:17 What? It was Paulina? Yes. So, he was dating Paulina and Paulina was the girl at their wedding. At least I think so. And I didn't Gigi punch Paulina or something in a parking lot.

4:27 I thought she said her friend was named Ty. I thought she Oh, was Ty the guy that she was getting revenge on by marrying this guy? Yeah, I think it I think that the I could be wrong because you know I'm wrong at least 60% of the time, but I'm pretty sure if my gossip memory serves, I believe it was Paulina who ended up hooking up with this guy and I think Gigi punched her somewhere and got in trouble.

4:49 Either way, it's messy, yes, but it's also in the past and it's not happening on the show. So, like trying to have this moment with this guy coming on the show and being like, "Oh my god, remember there was something messy that happened between us and like it's just not it just is I don't know. I just she just really she she's she drains a lot of energy out of me. I'm not going to lie."

5:10 You know, it's just as you start aging with people that you're watching on TV, right? Cuz we're all in the same age group, I feel like, roughly and you're we're all aging together and it's just watching.

5:21 Yeah, exactly. watching GG pulling the same [ __ ] and you've got a kid and it's like more disturbing now because you brought a kid into all of this and it's

5:32 it's cringe, you know? I worry for your child there. I said it. I know we're not supposed to mom shame, but you seem like not a great one. You seem like not not one that I would pick for somebody.

5:43 I feel like we're allowed to mom shame if we're podcasters. I don't think like you're supposed to mom shim if you're on the same TV show, but I think as like outside observers.

5:50 Oh, okay. Mom sh here and there. Okay, great. I think here and there we can throw a little little just a little a soup song of some mom shame here and there, you know,

5:59 little sprinkle of mom shame. Just a little just a little a little touch here and there.

6:05 Just a little touch touch. Thanks for the permission. I'll take it. Yeah. So, here we go. The valley. Um, it's a very I was going to say slow walk to divorce for all of the couples. It's a pretty brisk walk um to divorce for all of these couples. Pretty brisk.

6:21 Yeah. They're they're basically all on the deck of the Titanic and the boat the the hole is coming out of the water and we're just we're just watching the tables slide into the into the ocean at this point and holding up the rails.

6:34 No, just just one of those old records. There's no Kathy Bates. Although I would like to see like um Vita taking Kathy Bates's place just passing them all on the boat going like, "Oh, so sad. So sad. Never learned the right lipstick. Never learned the right lipstick."

6:51 It's going to end with Adam throwing a bowl of tabuli into the ocean. It's just a boat sinking into an ocean full of tabuli that Adam has made. Congratulations on your one Middle Eastern dish, Adam. Enough. Okay, your [ __ ] bulgar wheat and shove it up your ass. I've had it with you in your tabuli. Oh my god. So, we start we see things happening around town. Amir and Natasha are boxing. She does not look happy or interested in any of this. Gigi is getting a tour of a house that is clearly outside of our price range and does not look like it fits the definition of downsizing. And of course, she's like, I keep trying to downsize and I keep and I can't seem to downsize.

7:35 I'm like, "Okay." We go over to resin Adam and guess what Adam's making? Tibuli. Gigantic gigantic bowl of tibuli.

7:45 My famous tibuli. Yeah, it's the it's the guacamole of Summerhouse. And Reza is dancing around and, you know, snapping his fingers and uh he's got under eye patches on. And so then we go to Sky and Bombshod. And Sky is still my favorite one. I love Sky. She's awful. She seems awful and I love her. So, she's putting flowers in a vase and um she's always putting flowers in a vase. That's her thing. And Bombshod comes in and she's like, "Oh, is this Saki?" And he's like, "It's champagne." And she goes, "Okay, well, do you want to put it away or?" He's like, "Okay, I'll put it away. Maybe in the garage."

8:29 And she's like, "Good. Maybe you do this in the garage." Good. I just love that she doesn't hide her hatred for like her hobby is hating on her husband.

8:39 Yeah, it really does. And listen, you got to have a hobby. It keeps her off the streets. I say good for you.

8:44 Yeah. Um her husband is the flower and her hobby is a vase full of hate water. She's just going to put

8:52 drain hate water. So, uh she's like, "I design one-of-a-kind fine jewelry. I'm very good at it, I have to say. I'll do that. I had some new pieces that I would love to showcase. And so we're seeing her jewelry and everything. And she's like, I like to be in control of everything because when I'm not around, everybody's lost. Like who puts flowers in vases? We don't even know. That could have been Saki that he brought home. It could have been, but I'm here. And so she's telling Bombshod, she's like, "Oh, something I found out last night. Kessa, she has an Only Fans page." And we see shots of Gigi's only fans, which is her, you know, like topless but like covering her boobs with her hands on the couch or, you know, it's fairly innocent for an only fans.

9:35 It's not enough. Sorry. I think you got to show you got to show some goods if you're doing Only Fans. You don't have to, but I think it would be nice. So GG.

9:44 Wow. Ben Ben coming for GG's only pants. No, for anyone I think anyone who's if you're paying money, I mean, I don't want to see what I can see on Instagram.

9:53 Yeah. Yeah, it needs to be more. Yeah, like an extended. I don't know. I don't know. Maybe there's more on there. I don't know. I haven't checked it out. It's too expensive. Only fans. I tried it with the Vanderpump rules, guys, and I learned my lesson. Oh, I learned not even one boner for my $11.

10:07 But, um, you know, I don't know. Like, good for her for like trying to do something to make money. I mean, I guess that's work. You know, sex works work. Like, I have no shame in that.

10:17 But, not at all. You know, I don't think Only Fans is just as profitable as it used to be, right? I mean, I I feel like Only Fans when it came out, people were like, "Oh, yeah, like I make $100,000 a day." Do you still make that? Cuz it seems like everybody's on Only Fan. I feel like my [ __ ] 73year-old gardener is like, "Don't forget my Only Fans. You know, the support would be appreciated." I'm like, "Oh my god, what are you doing? Leafblower porn? Everybody's on there."

10:45 Yeah. I mean, look, I think some people can do it for sure. They can definitely make their money, but it's it's got to be hard. It's got to be hard. That which is not I'm not talking about Only Fans. I'm saying like that's if you want to do well, it's got to be hard.

10:56 Yeah. Which is it's more difficult for guys, you know, because it's got to be hard.

11:01 Um so, but it seems like Sky isn't fully aware of what Only Fans is. Maybe she thinks it's a fan page. So, she's like, "Why is she the only one who has a has a page? Why don't I have a page? Why don't I have a fan page?" He's like, "Uh, Only Fans." She's like, "Yeah, I think I should have one." It's like, uh, look it up. He's like, look, it's popular with sex workers. And she's like, oh, okay, never mind.

11:24 So, she's like, oh, so I guess only fans, you go and sell yourself or your body or text people. It's kind of like, um, it's trashy. It's trashy. So, you can write that in Farsy. Thank you. So, now they're talking about this party she's gonna have. She's going to have a trunk show to show off her great amazing ladybug and also killer spider jewelry. And she's like, "Did you call the bartender?" And he did not. She needs a bartender. And he's like, "What am I, your employee?" "No, you're a husband that said four days ago you were going to call a bartender and then you did not call the bartender." So, I know that this episode people are going to be like, "This woman's so mean to her husband. She's an [ __ ] She's telling him off in front of people." Yeah, but he also didn't call the bartender and he said he would four days ago. Like how much does she have to put up with?

12:12 Yeah, it's annoying because it it she's trying to throw an event that looks like classy and cool and elevated and instead bombshot going to be, you know, serving the drinks. So,

12:19 there are going to be five people in her backyard expecting a bartender and it's going to be very difficult for one man to pour five glasses of champagne. She She has She should be as angry as she needs to be. I say

12:32 this would have been a great time for Tommy to step in and make his grand introduction to the cast. Be like, "HI, I'M YOUR WHAT DO you want to drink today? You have champagne. OKAY, HOW ABOUT THIS? I got a mug that says Mets. Mets 1986 World Championships. You want to DRINK YOUR CHAMPAGNE THERE?" OH, COME ON.

12:47 YOU WANT TO TRY OUR SPECIAL drink in your face? All right, get over here. Here. I'm giving you this champagne because I [ __ ] love MJ AND IT BREAKS MY HEART THAT SHE SAYS THESE THINGS ABOUT ME BECAUSE I JUST love her so hard. It's like, uh, can I just have my drink, please? Oh, sorry. Here you go, fat face.

13:05 So, we go over to MJ and Tommy's house and, um, we see her office and it's terrifying. It's

13:14 It's messy. As a Virgo, I uh, my butthole clenched. I not in a good way. I Wow. They could really use the home edit.

13:24 They could rainbow organize all those postings. There you go. That was intentional. That was an intentional home edit. call back to another episode earlier this week.

13:31 There he goes. Ben loves his home edit. So, um, there it's it's horrifying. There's [ __ ] on every inch of her desk, all over the floors, and she's like, "What do I even do with this? Like, how am I supposed to get this stuff if I don't even have a platform to put all the stuff on? How do I get organized?" Tommy you know, this means I'm gifted like Massie Desk. Brilliant mind. Yeah, like Einstein. Einstein bagels. That is, you dumb nuts. You got a hole in your head just LIKE A BAGEL. HA. But you're not an everything bagel. What's the opposite of everything Poppy? CUZ NOTHING POPPIES into your brain ever, you stupid face.

14:04 Love you though. I love you so hard. She's like, "You sound like my mom." And he's like, "Don't compare me to your mother, dude. Cuz that lady's [ __ ] nuts." ALL RIGHT. WE WERE JUST going to go get something to eat and it turns into a blood bath. Like, we didn't even get a chance to water. ALL RIGHT. AND SHE'S your mother, bro. You know, she's just very tough to talk to. She's very tough to talk to. Unlike me. Unlike me, Tommy, who took a dump three three minutes into the conversation. I just sit right there at the table. There was a line at the bathroom. They can clean it up. They got puss boys. Come on.

14:32 MJ's like, you know what's so funny is that just thinking about it right now, the opening credits of the show, they, you know, you see everyone and Tommy's big moment is they show him like in the driving a car like in the driver's seat. And it's so funny cuz that's like his role in the show is that he drops her off and drives off and doesn't shoot with the with the with the cast. And now it's like it's like memorialized in the opening credits. So he's like, "Well, she told me that you're very unhappy in your marriage."

14:57 And you know, I know my shark hummings, okay? One of the other things that gets me triggered for me is like the worst parts of you, you get from her, and she doesn't want, and she doesn't even see any of the warts. I'm telling you, she got tons of warts everywhere. Not metaphorical, physical warts everywhere. That's right. Warts. I can't deal with it anymore. You think Mr. Matt has that many warts? He doesn't.

15:14 You know what every woman loves? Being compared to their mother in a fight. That's what every woman loves, Tommy. And you can't say that she's like Vita. I'm not saying that she's not, but the whole point is that you're denigrating her like Vita. The whole point is that you're too much like Vita. That's the problem. Not that MJ MJ is your punching bag. Okay. You don't get to change it just because you had to deal with Vita for one lunch. And also, you got Vita being very nice to you. She was trying to help you and tell you to get your [ __ ] together. She wasn't being mean to you.

15:44 Yeah. So, he says, "I'm tired of being put in a position where I'm the one that needs to fix things. I'm the one that needs to get better." Guess what? You know what? I have mid boots doing swings. Sure, I can be grumpy sometimes. Sure. But like I feel like I get singled out a lot cuz no one's looking at the other the other side of the street and saying, "How are you acting?" Um, that's like not nothing when he's like, "Oh, I have mood swings. Sure, I can be grumpy." That's not like, "Oh, sometimes I don't bring in the newspaper.

16:09 Sometimes I forget to pour my wife a cup of coffee." Mood swings and grumpiness. That's like a significant thing in someone.

16:15 Well, especially with Tommy. I mean, Tommy in a good mood is an [ __ ] Like when is Tommy not even at their wedding he seemed overly aggressive. I was like are you going to drown her? Like they show clips of them being in love. I'm like Tommy's about to drown her. You know that's you in a good mood. So I can only imagine what it's like to deal with you not in a good mood. So she's like well honey you know like I want us to have a safe calm space when one of us wants to talk because you know you just shove stuff under the rug. And he's like well a lot of the times we don't communicate when we're in a fight because you know you you take no accountability. So it's like all right cool. I don't speak to this person now.

16:49 That's it. Yeah. But I just I think that like that just taught me like you you really need to turn it down.

16:56 TURN IT DOWN. TURN IT DOWN. She's like I I want to go I want to go back to where we were, you know, shoving cake in our faces, dry humping, but not really dry humping cuz we're in a pool in in a

17:08 taking his penis inside of me while my friend is taking a picture of us in a pool. The last thing I want to do right now is take two steps back or 10 steps back. Well, don't worry about it, babe, cuz I'll drive you there. Okay, you want to go 10 steps back? Get in the car. Okay, reverse. Get out. Bye.

17:23 She's like, I really just want to go back to public anal with Tommy. God, I miss that. God, I miss.

17:30 So, now we go to Bel Air to Cela's house. Who is this? And why is she hanging out with nobody? Did they say who she is? I believe her full name is Cela later cuz she is there and she cooks them some like halbot in a broth and then she leaves. She

17:46 is she's someone's mom or she's Tannon's friend. Tannon's like sort of Oh, no, I'm sorry. It's she's not Tan's friend. She's Skye's friend cuz Skye's like Sila is one of my best friends. She's all about nutrition. She's not a [ __ ] on only Only Fans. And you know, girlfriends usually send each other pictures of shot of shoes or dresses, but for us it's about kitchen stuff like your skin, your hair, your body, your health. I'm like, please don't tell me the hair and the skin is part of the kitchen stuff. But, you know, I I see what you're saying. So, they they're just friends.

18:15 And you're talking about your hair, but you need to do your roots. I'm just saying. So, but why are you going to your friend's house for her to feed you, but then she leaves?

18:23 And it was so weird. I thought she was going to join the I thought she was going to join the scene. And then the three of them just stay there sitting at the kitchen island. They're not even like welcomed into like the the actual proper dining room. They're just sitting there as if their host is in front of them chatting with them. But she's the other woman's like, "Uh, I'm going to go play mind sweeper upstairs. Just let me know when you're ready to go leave the house."

18:41 Yeah, exactly. So Resa comes, he's like, "What is this, Halibet? This is so Persian." Tannon shows up too and they're like they're cutting vegetables every like what are we doing here? This beautiful modern house. Skye's client is cooking for us in B air, not the valley. Hello. We're trying to start a new franchise here. My intuition is just telling me like, oh my god, Sky wants to be Sila. Like she wants her life. She wants her house and she wants that money. But guess what? She can't have Adam Sabuli. So, Sila feeds them and she's like, "It's basically it's bok choy, halibet, mushrooms, really clean and healthy.

19:20 Goodbye. I'll be in my closet re reorganizing. I am uh just uh putting my house on Zillow and uh if I can't get any buyers, I'll just burn it down. Okay, have a great day."

19:31 So, I heard through the grapevine that you and Greg had a date night the other day, Tonnie. And she's like, "Yeah, I mean, I guess. Let me just have some bread for this." He's like, "Oh my god, that's like a shot. Like, give me a shot. Am I right? Like to to skinny people, bread is like having a shot. It's like crazy. Like that's your buttery nipple. Am I right?

19:51 Yeah. Well, um, D, this I don't know what the buttery nipple is. But like, Dana, it was good.

19:56 It's a shot. It's a shot. I know. I'm just I'm just a black I'm just trying to block out the idea of like a buttery nipple that's made of bread and it's my nipple. It's just too much. But we had a really deep conversation where I reminded him that he's like a piece of [ __ ] husband and I don't like talking to him and I have more sexual chemistry with a grandfather clock. Um, and it was really great and then I cried and he brought up that he doesn't like it when I hang out with my girlfriends or go to dinners or have any sort of independence or make any of my own decisions, but he's totally fine to coast off my wealth and have my mom cook for him. Um, and uh, we had a really lovely time on our date night, our quote unquote date night. I like to call it fate night because I could I could see my fate, which is a divorce very soon.

20:35 Yeah, but like how come like you're going out with your girlfriends but he's not like taking you out like every night of the week? Like why wouldn't you take your wife out like every night of the week? I mean come on. And she's like yeah but like never. Like there's no effort on his side. Oh my god. Let me ask you a question I learned on Orange County. Who fills up your tank and is it filled up with tabuli? Because Adam does such a good job on that. She's like um my dogs. Oh my god. The fact that Greg isn't even trying to spend every moment he can with Tannon is so strange to me.

21:09 I mean, I don't want to see other people. I want to hang out with my husband. And if the spark goes away or we're not cool or whatever, I don't know if that I would stay because honestly, it would be kind of cool if I could have something other than to bully for once. So,

21:22 like Reza acting I like that Resa's acting like the emotionally mature one and he's like, "The second it's boring, I'm [ __ ] out of there." So, not not really sure what this chick's doing, but uh um and also he's like, "Oh, the minute the spark goes away, then why do you have to beg your man to touch you?"

21:40 Like literally even like give you a hug. Yeah. Yeah. It's like like like level one touching. Like that's sad sad.

21:47 Yeah. So, she tells the story about how they went to Boulevard Steak and he got a number from some girl and she's texting him at 2 am. He tells the whole story and or she tells the whole story and he's like, "Oh my god, are you like worried that first it's like text messages at 2 a.m. and then it's like peeling mint and then it's like adding lemon and then it's chopping tomatoes and onions and then adding like bulker weed inside until it becomes something unmanageable." Oh, sorry. I forgot that's the 2 PM phone call when Adam's friends want tibuli.

22:18 Yeah, that's I'm sorry that that that text comes at tibuli am. That's a Persian. [gasps]

22:25 So Skye's like, "I don't think it's right. It's very disrespectful to your wife. If Bombshed had another girl's number, it would have been a big problem. Big I don't accept it and I don't like it." So Tannon's like, "Well, Greg is like my best friend." You know, cuz you know, like when best friends, you know, like you hate them and you don't want to ever see them and you just kind of are like, "Why am I stuck looking at this man with his man bun in the back?" Like that kind of best friend, right? And I love him to death.

22:48 Lol. That was sarcasm, everyone. It may get lost in the bok choy. And um as far as like romance and taking care of me as a wife, like those are things are just like not his strength. And I just I don't think he thinks that there's a problem. That is so [ __ ] scary because there is a big problem here. Big huge.

23:11 So, um, now we cut to Greg and Tann this house. Who owns it? What are we even doing here? Why are we here? So, now we go to Greg and Tannon. Greg has gotten Tannon a gift. Uh, and he's like, "I hope you like it because you remember when we had date night and you said like I like, you know, like I don't take care of you and like I made you cry and I felt really bad about that and I was worried that your mom would stop cooking for us. So, here's the gift and we go outside and here comes a pink Porsche with a bow on it."

23:46 Um, I thought she made all the money in. So, did you just go buy her a pink Porsche with her own money? Are you pulling like a Vicki where Vicki got her daughter a car and she's like, "Okay, have fun making all the payments for this car I picked out for you and you had the choice in."

24:00 Bye. But also, it's a Porsche t um Porsche um tan tan. Uh it's a 2021 model. I That was really That's nice. That's a nice um

24:11 a 2021. How do you know that? Does it say on the car? I don't know. It just says it on uh in our notes. our note taker on the screen like oh is it

24:20 I guess so I didn't know but Shelby Shelby saw so she said or maybe Shel's just launching some sort of hate campaign and like we as like gullible readers of our own notes are like and on top of that it's fueled by blood

24:35 but it's still it's still 213 grand I mean gez yikes and he's like but look babe I got it cuz it matches the color of her skinare line right oh yeah so rom Let me tell you, a man who's not doing anything wrong um while he's getting text at 2 in the morning, you know what they do? They buy them their wives very expensive gifts.

24:56 Yeah. Guilty at all, buddy. Yeah. Doesn't address literally any of the issues that she brought to you. It's just you got her a car and then uh what I was surprised at was then Sky came over and took the car and rubbed it on her dog and she's like, "Sky, stop doing that with my brand." So Tannon tells us the gift is very sweet and obviously the effort and the work is even more important. Um but yeah step in the right direction. Yeah. Yeah. She doesn't care.

25:20 Yeah. She's Yeah. She's like whatever. Thanks for the used Porsche loser. So then we go to Reza and Adam and um Reza has his gloves on and he's putting nuts and dried fruit into like little bowls and jars and stuff

25:34 and um he's like, "What do you think like Americans would feel about receiving this in a bag with their company name on it? We're going to call it the pantry list. It's like why do Persians get all of this amazing stuff but like white people don't get it? Like let's sell it to stupid white people." If you go to a Persian person's house, there'll be like on the table nuts and dried fruits. And like, so my husband's like, "We need to take this delicious Persian [ __ ] and pedal it to the masses. So, we have this great idea. We're going to take um dried fruit and and nuts and everything and put it in bags and sell it." I was like, I mean, it's not the worst of of the things that we've seen on these shows. Not the worst, but he's calling it the pantry list, which I feel like just give it a Persian name. Lean into it. Why not?

26:24 Yeah, just call it that's so Persian. That's so Persian nuts. Um but you know where else they sell like nuts in small packages? It's a store.

26:32 Um just wanted to point that out. I go there and they have that there. We used to have this in in the in my Lebanese family. This was very traditional. Like you go to you go to Siti's house and there's you know but it was always kind of weird stuff. I would eat the nuts, but it's like all these different dried prunes and dried apricots and all that stuff, but then there's like really hard candies like almonds, but they've got that super hard shellac on them. You know, the color the color can. There was a lot of stuff that I I grew to believe was only put on the table because you could just put it in a ziplo later and just serve it for 20 years because nobody ever ate it. is I I wonder, you know, uh if you go to like a Persian market or a Middle Eastern market if there's something like this that exists like I I wonder there honestly there should just be like those crude trays, you know, you get the big circle that

27:22 has like the broccoli in one corner and the tomatoes and the cauliflower and the dip in the middle. They should that's what I feel like res should be doing like have a section for the nuts, a section for the dried fruits, dates over here, this over here and a little something but like um I I like kind of a shaker like a person shuderie type thing. I wonder if they already I wonder if that's already something that's available. Either way,

27:42 well, look, I'm rooting for him because of the whole like, oh my god, that's like so resa hair care. Like golden res hair care. Remember that was his thing before. Um, so yeah, I mean this is edible. Like I couldn't eat that hair care. So,

27:56 but this is also such an Adam thing. He's like, why don't we take a few small nuts and and fruits and put them in a smaller bag and then sell them as a small bag of things. So, uh, but then he's like, "Um, hey, um, oh, I'm sorry. Adam is like, um, Raza, do you have time to do a check-in?" He's like, "Yeah, okay. Well, let's start it." So, they sit. It's like a very therapy moment. They

28:20 check in time. Daily checkin. So, like is like, "What can I do today or tomorrow to make your day a little bit better?" He's like, "Um, maybe a shoulder rub." Okay. Cuz like, you know, I work really hard putting like almonds in little baggies. Um, what can I help you with? Anything? Um, yeah. So, I could use like a little more physical touch like caressing and kissing just like out of the blue for a reason. And then Adam like

28:51 hand jobs. Maybe you could massage my elbow skin. It's called a wenus. I'll settle for a wenus. And Adam is just staring at him like really uncomfortably and he's like

29:01 as if he didn't just ask Reza for a shoulder rub. And here Rez is just like, "Can you give me a hug with a kiss?" Which is a significantly lower lift than a shoulder rub.

29:10 You could braid my back hair. Would that make you feel good? He's like, he's just looking like gross. He goes, "What does uhhuh mean, Adam?" He's like, "Okay, well, my love, I tomorrow, I'm going to give you all the the caresses and squeeze downs that you're requesting and that you will feel and I'll make you feel more whole." Okay. He's like, "So, Adam tells us, "My household growing up was much colder and it was not very affectionate. And anytime anyone would show affection, my father would be like, "Oh, I'm not into that touchyfey shit." Which is why I've decided to maintain the pattern.

29:44 Yeah. I would like more. Yeah. I want to I want to [ __ ] my partner like my parents [ __ ]

29:51 Yeah. So, Ray's like, "I just want some more affection." He's like, um, he wants me to be like Patrick sees and he'll be Demi Moore in Ghost. Yeah, but like I don't want you to die.

30:02 I just want to make some pottery cuz Tommy broke all of mine. Yeah, that was called Ghost. That was where one of the people was dead. Adam, you

30:10 [ __ ] weirdo. I Adam, just like give give the man a hug, please. Just just hug him. Touch him.

30:17 Oh my god. My neighbor just started his car. I swear to God, I'm going to murder this [ __ ] guy. He drives a Porsche and every time he turns on this car, it like shakes the walls in the house like [groaning] and then he just sits there and guns it for five minutes before he leaves. Like, god forbid your Porsche doesn't get a little [ __ ] gas in it for five minutes before you leave,

30:41 you douche. Just point him to the nearest cliff. Let him go over, douche. Um, so anyway, uh, yeah. Uh, I think I feel like this story line.

30:51 Hello. I'm sorry about your teeny tiny little wiener. Meanwhile, it's Tannon in her new Porsche. And you're like yelling at her. She's like, "It matches my moisturizer,

31:04 which no one cares about. Shut up, Skye." Anyway, Adam, I mean, I feel like the Adam thing has been going on for a while. like he's not even asking for a [ __ ] unless it's like a reading between the lines thing, but I'm just like, "Adam, hug your man. It's really not hard. Just hug it, please." Um, but also, um, thank you, Adam, for giving us the image of you doing the ghost pottery scene with Resa. I really did not need that going into the weekend.

31:35 Yeah, no one needs that. But I will say, you know, for these two, they do seem like a cute little couple. like they've calmed down into like this cute little couple. One makes tibuli all the time. The other one's like, "You want me to bang your nuts?"

31:48 And like coming up with little businesses together. So maybe this is just for the show where they're like, "It's the valley and now we have to talk about our relationship all the time." So

31:58 I thought you were going to say, "No, they're in this cute little groove. One makes tibuli all the time. The other is massively toxic and undermines everyone around him." And it's just nice.

32:08 That's cute. That's cute. That's the only couple I'll ever be in. You know, I need a sweet one and I'll be toxic. You know, I think that's cute.

32:15 Once a toxic person once a once a toxic person finds his mate. You're not toxic. Stop.

32:21 I feel like I'm toxic. Passive aggressive. Um, so the producers are like, uh, so, uh, what do you have to say to people who think you're not Oh, we're talking to R.J. Reza Jackson. They all call him R.J. The producers's like, hey R.J., what do you say to people who think that you're not masculine? He goes, "Yeah, that's called toxic masculinity." Masculinity. Toxic masc masculinity. Masculinity. Masculinity. Masculinity. [ __ ] I can't even say it anymore bro.

32:49 You can't say toxic masculinity, which is pretty funny. So, um, Gigi, uh, you know, he's getting they're all getting their nails done. And Gigi's like, "I'm doing Red for Only Fans. I'm doing Only Fans now." And he's like, "Oh, wow. Okay. So, are we going to make money off your feet, too?" And he's like, "No, but like I want to create content. Is that something we're doing? I mean, something about you, me being single with a bunch of couples. Like, we should make content about that. It's going to go viral. Like single people around people who aren't single. It's going to go crazy.

33:23 Can't wait. Can't wait. It'll be the second coming of the Red Balloon Show." So Gigi is like, "Uh, she's like, "Well, I'm old and I've been and I've been staying single for so long, you know." He's like, "No, you're not. You're perfect. I love mils. She's like, "Oh, are you an option for me?" Like, I actually met Gessa two years ago, like a while back, where she had asked me to be on her podcast at the time. And like, that's an interest. I mean, like, Knessa's hot. A little crazy, but hot. Kind of annoying and exhausting to talk to and listen to, but hot.

33:56 Yeah. So, they like flirt like that's going to happen. And then um they talk about who they're banging and she's like "Guys

34:03 Dennis reached out to me." Like, "What?" She goes, "Yeah, he was whispering. He was wishing me happy Mother's Day." So I went off on him cuz that's what you do when people wish you happy Mother's Day. Am I right? Like I can't take any more of these [ __ ] men. Like what are they wishing me happy Mother's Day? Like [ __ ] off. I needed

34:19 At least you got to talk to your toddler unlike some of us in Greece. drunk pill popper alcoholic. Yeah. So, she went huff on him about this about this and she's like, "I haven't spoken to him since a week after we got married." You know, he's like, "That sentence just sounds wrong." Yeah. Cuz everything after that was everything I was seeing in the press. Like all the [ __ ] [ __ ]

34:45 Yeah. So, she says that she dated Dennis four months and then broke up with him. And um for the last 13 years they've just been friends. And then they were in business together. They looked out for each other. We would go on family vacations together. And when then we went on a trip to Vegas in 24 and we got married. We see a we'd see a cell phone video of this and he's just like thumbs uping the camera like, "Yes, look what I won. Look what I won."

35:13 Yep. And then I played I played a slot machine and I got three death cards. I won GG. I want [ __ ] GI.

35:22 So then Natasha's like, well, and so then Gigi said then a week after he's like, he's with my friend. And she's like, are they still together? She's like, no, they broke up, you know? And so R.J.'s like, is that a thing? Getting married and then putting a ring on it and then having this all happened, he's like, why don't you just take it easy and like not get married?

35:42 She just ignores him. So she's like, yeah, I'm going to see him soon. And like I know he's like, let's just talk in person. Like let's just get past this. And he goes and they're like, "Are you still interested?" And she's like, "No, I mean, no, but like we're lit we're literally married for a week." So, so she tells us that maybe she needs to stop getting married, but relationships aren't for her, you know? And she just wants people to like come to her room when she needs them and then go away when she doesn't need them and, you know, be more like her dad.

36:10 Yeah. She's um I don't find I don't I I just am like she It's sad. She's just a sad person. So she says, "Hey, I was in a relationship with Ty. Do you guys remember Tai? Remember?" And I found out some information on him on Tai and that like really made me hurt and I knew he was like close with Dennis as a friend. So I thought, you know what? This is a great way of getting payback on Tai. So I always knew that Dennis had that thing for me always. So that's why. So she got married just to make this guy Tai upset, which is almost like the story that you hear in like a musical or something like, "Well, I'm gonna date so and so just to get revenge on so- and so because that's the person I really love.

36:49 Yeah, it's sad. And it's uh it's hard to watch because she thinks it's so amusing, you know? It's like, "Yeah, that makes me cool." You know? It's like when she pulls out like a full joint in a minute in a backyard at a family's house. It's like, "Yeah, I'm like really cool." You're sad.

37:03 Yeah. You're a sad [ __ ] person, man. Yeah. So, and he's kind of sad listening to it. He's just like, "I thought this was going to be a scene of us flirting, and now it's just kind of gross, you know?" So then um she's like, you know, no matter what happened, like you shouldn't hook up with my friend a week after we're married, but the whole situation so stupid you can't really take sides. But they're trying to.

37:26 And she's like, well, you know, like it's good that R.J.'s reminding me of my wrongdoings in this, too. But like, you know, I mean, maybe it makes me not want to like cut his dick off and slap him with it. Maybe I'll just cut his dick off and leave it at that. And they're like, "Oh my god, Gigi is growing."

37:43 Yeah. So, now we go to Skye's house because she's going to set up. She's setting up for the trunk party and everything and people are coming over and uh setting setting things up and uh this Miley comes out. Miley's I think their daughter. So cute. And she comes over to see if she can like have a bracelet. She's like, "No, no bracelet for you. Bracelets lead to only fans. Go inside." So um Sky talks about how she lived in Iran for the first 20 years of her life and she had an amazing life and um every everyone was always providing the best and then she came to America and she started working at a restaurant and providing for herself and she could she could just be who she wanted to be and uh then she went into jewelry and all this fun stuff. So Bombshot's like, "Oh no, the bartender is not answering." Oh no. Okay, well I bad news. I don't think we have a bartender. I'm going to be the bartender. She goes, "Oh good. So, we

38:34 can just sweep that under the rug, too. How fun. Let's just sweep it under the rug.

38:40 Yeah. So, Adam and Rea are driving to the uh party and Adam's asking Reza if he's ever seen the jewelry. And he's like, "Yeah, I have seen her jewelry. I actually saw some rings when I was having lunch and found out that Greg gets numbers from other women." Like, what?

38:56 Nice subtle nice subtle transition. Yeah. He's like, I was like, "What? Like everything you're telling me sounds like one red flag after the other. Getting calls at 2 a.m. only involve a few things. Okay. When you're Persian, dick, ha, drugs, or money. Okay. Well, why are we throw three out of four of those things are great.

39:20 Yeah. What the hell? It's kind of alarming, says Adam. Like, I know. It's crazy those phone numbers. No, it's alarming how fast we're driving. This is scary. We're only going 30 miles per hour.

39:33 I know, but statistically most accidents happen below 25 miles per hour. Could you slow down, please? Reza,

39:38 honey, we just put a sticker on the back of our car that says Tibuli on board. Slow down. So then,

39:52 so people do we get to go to the Grove? Uh cuz I already bought tickets to go see a Tibuli screening of a movie. Um, you park your Tupperware outside. Um, so Bombshod Bombshod sees it and he goes, "Tabuli is not a Persian dish, but if he likes to make it, good for him."

40:14 I was wondering about that. I was like, I think you said that last week, right?

40:19 Our food is similar, but I didn't know it was that. So, I didn't know that we all had tibuli. I know that Greek and Lebanese people fight over food a lot. We're like, "No, TIBULI IS OURS." NO, IT'S OURS. HOW DARE YOU? GRAPE LEAVES ARE OURS. But I didn't know we had that with Persians, but I guess we don't. Adam just Adam saw something on TV and went with it.

40:39 He's like, "Well, it's not European, so I [snorts] think it will work." So Tannon, although I guess if if Greece is claiming tibuli, I guess it could be European. Tannon is saying hi to Adam. She's like, "Oh, I feel like I haven't seen you in a while." Hell, you know, it is in the in the tibuli mines. Um Res and I were actually talking about uh about you on the way in. She's like, "Oh boy." Yeah. He was saying that sometimes you drive over 35 miles per hour and I just want to remind you it's really dangerous to do that, especially if you got tabuli in the front seat. So just really think about it.

41:09 Yeah. Adam, um Resa and I were just talking about you Tannon and um Resza was saying he wishes that you would touch him more. Could you just touch him please for me?

41:20 Okay, everyone. We're going to play tag and I just want to know that um everyone can be it except for Resa. So, we just all have to touch Reza and that counts as me touching him. Okay, thanks.

41:30 She's like, "God, you really can't tell a secret in this group." You know, look, um Okay, like Greg, yes, Greg has some questionable behavior. There was a phone call, but you know, the point was I was trying to bring up a communication issue, and Greg comes in. He's like, "Hey, hey, what are we talking about me?" And she's like, "Yeah, we're talking." And Adam's like, "Yeah, we're talking about communication

41:52 and Tibully if you really want to broaden it up." Um, but by the way, Adam like brings this up with Tana and they're like at the screen door and she's like about to go outside. He's like, "By the way, I hear that you and Greg are having communication issues. You want to talk about it here in a very public place." It's like, "What are you doing right now?"

42:08 Right at the like there's no chill on this show. It's like, "So, have you ever seen her jewelry?" "Yes, I saw it when we were talking about Greg possibly cheating on his wife." Like, come on, guys. I know it's been a while, but let's like layer stuff in here.

42:21 A lot of tap dancing. So, uh, Greg's like, "Yeah, I mean, we have our days. Some days are great, some days are not." You know, the great days are when she's out of town and I get a number from a hot 22-year-old at the club and the days that aren't great are when I'm back home and I can't text back the 22-year-old. So, you know, take it down.

42:39 Believe me, I wasn't trying to do anything. Come on. He's like, "Well, I mean, you don't have a fake number you can like give people." He's like, "Oh, that's good. That's good, but if I had a fake number, how would I get the text? Like, you you don't make any sense. Think things through, Adam.

42:53 Think about it. Think about it. So, now we go to Sky and she's like, "Okay, this is a little killer spider ring. This ring you put it on. Hopefully your husband will put it on one day and it will kill him in his sleep." Okay. Little tiny poison violence.

43:09 Damn. And then uh MJ shows up. Vita's already there, so she's saying hi and everything. And then Amamir and Natasha arrive. And then Greg Greg tells R.J. like, "Oh, I shaved my chest for you, man." Oh. They're like, "Aha." Laughing, etc. And Bombshot is like behind the bar just trying to serve drinks and he's like sweating and unhappy. He doesn't even know how to open up the bottle of wine.

43:28 Yeah. Yeah. And uh Sky the uh Sky just yells to the whole party, "Oh, he called the bartender last night at 9:30, everybody." And he's like, "The point is that I did it. Isn't it the effort that counts?" No, it's the lack of effort that counts. That's the point, sir. and said, "Oh, the point, the point. Listen to the point. You're driving me nuts with the point."

43:52 That is the point, though. This is your wife's event for her career. And you're like saving the responsibilities for the last second when things could fall through. And so then Gigi's like, "Um, I thought this was supposed to be an event for like 80 people." Like, where are the 80 people? Did she mean eight people? It's a burn. See, I divided it by 10 and you just wind up with eight. If you think about it, it's really funny. Yeah. Like I really want 80 men that were supposed to be here for like 80 people. Like what are there 80 penises going to be here? Like I can't deal with you [ __ ] I'm so stressed right now. I'm really stressed. So then we see MJ standing with um R.J. And Reza Reesa's like, "Oh my god, why are your nipples out?" He's like, "Oh, you know." And MJ's like, "No, it looks good. It looks good." And V's like, "No, button up. Button up. It looks stupid. You look like trash.

44:44 Maybe if you buttoned up, your chest wouldn't be showing. And MJ's like, "No, don't listen to them. We want your chest. Okay, Tommy is at home. Give me some chest. Give me some chest." And he's like, "Oh my god, I buttoned it with one button. Now I look like Amir. Like I've got three kids." And they all start laughing. So Gigi's like fanning herself and talking about makeup with Natasha. And she's like, "This is boring. I'm going to smoke. I'm going to like smoke. I can't even with you fuckers." So she pulls out like a blunt, you know, it's not really a blunt, it's just a joint, but she pulls it out and lights it up in this backyard. Like, who does that? Like, I get that it's legal, but that's still tacky as [ __ ] Come on now.

45:24 It is really tacky. I mean, it's just the kids are there. And Sky is like not happy. She's like, who does that without asking? And so she's like, she's smoking like she owns the place. Like, I get it. Get your [ __ ] together. her. So, she basically is like, "Um, hey, can you if you see the kids, can you make sure they don't come outside cuz I don't want them to see Gigi doing drugs and only fans." Uh, so everybody smells it and they're like, "Yeah, that's not cool. GG." So, she doesn't care. And she's like, "Where's the single man at?" And R.J. is like, "Me, me." And she just laughs. So then, um, we go to Adam talking about how he wants to go boxing with Amir.

46:02 I'll bet you do. And they talk a little bit about that. And Amir talks about how their kids like he wanted a large family. And she's like, "No more than three, please. They just gang up on you." And he's like, "Well, the accidents are the best ones, right?" And she goes, "Oh god, just [ __ ] kill me."

46:20 And R.J. is talking to MJ and he's like, he's like, "Hey, where's Tommy, by the way?" Um, well, he he'll come he'll come pick me up. So, um, if you want to see him, uh, you can line up at the window and you can see the the top part of his head, uh, as he pulls into the driveway. So, that's really exciting for everyone, I think. So, she's like, "Yeah, Tommy's absence is starting to wear on me, but like I know it's complicated cuz Tommy and Reza have seen haven't seen each other in five years. So, like, you want to roll some clips of Tommy coming to Re's house and destroying plants and trying to murder him?"

46:55 Fine. You know, love those clips. I love every time they show those clips. God damn it. I love you. [ __ ] you, Fus. [ __ ] you, fus.

47:05 I think Tommy, it's like I Resa is toxic. We know this. And we agree. Reza like tried to get you to go to jail. He tried to actually ruin your life. It's not good that you threw his pots around. That was really really bad. That was not acceptable at all. And I but I also understand that from Tommy's perspective like the punishment did not fit the crime. He was going to try Reza was going to have Tommy have a felony on his record which is lifealtering. And uh so I understand why Tommy hates Reza. I think there's also a world where you can go to the party and just not talk to Reza at all and just ignore him.

47:43 No. Not no. Do you think Resa is going to do that? He'll be like, "Well, Tommy, would you like to have a conversation?" Start out like that and then be like, "You did it. It's your fault, you [ __ ] consulter.

47:55 Well, if he's being resolute enough to not go, he could be resolute enough to not not talk to Resa.

48:00 Yeah. Well, that's true. But that's just not how it works on these shows. You know, Resa would be all up in his business. He doesn't want to punch Reza and go to jail, which I think is what he thinks will happen. I think he's like, "Fuck these people. You said my wife had 10 abortions. You attacked her all season. You went for her. You made her cry every single day. I stood up for her and then I was going to be have to go to jail. I'm not hanging out with these toxic people. I think it's like the Todd from Salt Lake City thing where he's like, "Okay, you come home crying. Every time you hang out with these people, you talk about how toxic they are and how they're ruining your life and yet you still want to keep going back there while it's ruining our whole relationship." And like at some point this is disrespectful to our relationship, you even going around there, you know? So, [ __ ] off.

48:41 Well, I understand why he's like what why he's doing what he's doing. It's for all those things. Maybe in a weird way he's thinking uh this way you can shoot your show without it being awkward cuz if I'm there it's going to be awkward and it's going to be tense every single time and whatever. But it's also clear that MJ wants him to be there. So it's one of those tough things, you know, in a relationship. So anyway,

49:01 yeah. And like Salt Lake City, this is their career. So it's not just saying like I won't be around these people. It's also saying like I'm not going to shoot like I'm going to make it harder for you to shoot a show that is your career and our family's income. So, like, you know, you got to you got to bend a little.

49:17 Yeah. Um, I don't even know what Tommy does for a living. Do we know? I don't know. Does he do anything? Does Tommy have a job?

49:25 Something at some point, but I don't know what he does now other than he did the podcast with MJ. But yeah, I don't know. But either way, they're all like, "Where's why is Tommy not here? Bring Tommy." And and MJ is like, "No." is a marketing entrepreneur and CEO of Forson Sun Agency helping small businesses with branding. He's also involved in podcasting with MJ and runs the Fight Club nonprofit, but it's F Ei G-H like his name.

49:52 Nonprofit for literacy focusing on being a dad to his son Shams and navigating life on the valley. So, there you go.

49:59 Yeah. I don't know. Uh, I don't know why, but when I think about like needing to reach out to like a brand consultant, I don't know why I don't think of Tommy. I don't know why that's

50:08 All right, let's talk about marketing. Here we go. Right. Thoughts. Nothing but thoughts.

50:17 So, have I suggested that we go with a campaign centered around boobs? So, Gigi tells us I think that Maris is afraid of being alone and she's also very insecure and so like maybe she's thinking of like how she's going to find another guy to love her. But I'll tell you something. That girl has been getting the work done. And she like gestures to like the full body. And she's like, "Anytime one person is in a marriage starts to look good, it's a divorce coming." Which is not wrong.

50:43 And MJ is saying, "Yeah, I want to like focus on my life and my career, but like I just I'm busy and like I don't have time to worry about if my marriage is working out or not. So whatever." And she's like, "Um, well, I mean, I don't want you to become suppressed and numb to a situation because he's this way, you're this way, and then that's it." You know? I mean, yeah, Gigi, but you're also the lady who's like divorced for five minutes, you know, married for five minutes at a time. I don't think anyone's asking for Gigi advice.

51:10 Yeah, seriously, relationship expert. But basically, Gigi's like, "You're mirroring him, right?" But does he ever mirror you? She's I'm just like, "I don't I don't know. improv class. Can we not?

51:24 I know. I know. What is that supposed to mean? So, Adam is still nosing into Greg and Tana's business and being like, "Hey, maybe you guys should go on a date. You guys should go on more dates." And um Greg is like, "Well, we go on less than we should." And Tannon says, "Oh, that's such a sad answer." I mean, there's like a chart about signs and it says like percentages of which ones would work out and Bombshot and Sky are 97%. You guys are perfect. He's like, "Have you not seen her attacking me all day about this bartender? I don't know. It doesn't seem like it."

51:56 [gasps and sighs] You know, we come to a point where we don't really reach a resolution, right? And Adam goes, "In a separate bed." [sighs] Like, "Adam, you're not even giving Res a hug. Please don't be judgy about the beds." So, Bombshot's like, "Yeah, she's staying away from me." And like, "That's very new. I enjoy waking up in the morning and seeing her face and burping in it and then farting and then scratching my balls and then deciding to go back to sleep when she can't get the extra two hours of sleep she was hoping for. God, I love that.

52:20 Waking up next to her and seeing one of my back hairs in her teeth for no reason. That's romance right there. And that's what we're missing right now. And Tian's like, um, well, I have a perspective cuz I sleep in separate beds, too, and I'm happier. And he's like, well, I don't give a [ __ ] You sleep better. And she goes, well, [ __ ] you then. And he goes, "Yeah, but [ __ ] me then, right? I don't give a shit."

52:43 And they're kind of getting too serious. So Gigi sees them and she's like, "What the [ __ ] going on out there?"

52:49 And she goes, "Well, what? Let me say something about men." I mean, men are more like, "Let me brush it under the rug." And that [ __ ] I deal with, Sky. She when I have an issue, I go and I deal with her. So go and deal with her.

53:01 And Tannon's like, "Sky is my best friend, but I definitely think that she's stubborn and she kind of like blocks off if there's an issue rather than talking about it." And I'm like the opposite. Okay. So then Bombshot's like, "Well, talking about communication and talking this and that, whatever." So Skye's like, "Okay, well, the talking really doesn't get anywhere cuz like I have I have an event." And then we don't have a bartender. And he's like, "Oh, whoa. No, dude. Not a problem. Like don't worry about it. I'll take care of it." And then he left. Okay. So whatever.

53:30 He's like, "But the bartender didn't show up." And it's like, oh, like a lot of things don't show up, but I guess that's fine. He's like, "What do you mean a lot of things? here. Here's the other thing. So, now they're full-on fighting in front of everybody. And uh she's like, "Just leave me out of this, guys. Leave me out of it. I don't want to talk about it anymore. It's rude and disrespectful to come to my house and talk to me or my marriage. This is solo. Don't be a loser." So, she goes off. And I kind of agree with her. I mean, you are berating your husband in front of everybody like whether or not he deserves it. So, you can't berate your husband and then expect people to not say something. Yeah. So, now we go around around the valley to see what people are up to. We go to MJ and Tommy's house and they have like a Dave and Buster style little basketball kind of uh arcade game thing and and Vita's

54:20 there just shooting baskets. She's like, "Oh, I was very very athletic. I was ping pong champion." Very athletic.

54:26 I love that. I started laughing so hard. She's like shooting baskets. She goes, "I was ping pong champion." And she goes, "Yeah, yeah, mom. We know. We're very proud of you." Oh, no. basketball, too. Look at that. I got another one.

54:39 Um, so Gigi, we go to Tannon's house and Gigi comes over and Tannon, there's guacamole and Tannon saying how anyone coming over, I always make sure people are fed. That's just part of the culture, I think. You know, na mean John means feeding your soul in a way. So that's that's how we show love. We we make sure people are fed. I was like, yes.

55:01 Like we're aware. Yes. Yes. So, we're aware every scene on this show has to start with, "Do you know what Persians do? We feed each other."

55:12 Okay, let's go to a pool party. Do you know what Persians do at a pool party? Well, they swim, but not until they feed each other. That's for sure.

55:20 I mean, I think it's great, but like at a certain point when we when when we see that like your friends come over and there's like a spread of food out, I get it. You're feeding your friends. Like, I don't need it to be spelled out for me. It's like no.

55:32 I like that they pretend that guacamole fights. Yeah. Like other cultures never feed their friends. That's what cracks me up on the show. They're like, "Persians like eating." Oh, really? Most of us invite our friends over and starve them. We just w like to watch them starve to death.

55:45 My favorite is when any like any culture does this. And this happens in all these shows and it comes from a good place, but it's always so funny. Like, [gasps] you know what? Our culture is all about food. We just love eating as as opposed to those crazy cultures that just hate eating.

56:02 I mean, it is true though because it is true in a way because like my Lebanese family was like that. It's like you go over there's food all the time. Constantly. Constantly. But then my mom, it's like invite your friends over after school. Oh, okay. What are we having? Nothing. What would you eat? You're you're fat. You don't

56:19 I mean, yeah, it definitely certain cultures are much more into abundance than others. That's for sure. But like

56:25 southern moms are like starve starve fatty. But thank god I have half and half, you know.

56:31 I feel like it would be the opposite. I feel like southern moms would be like southern moms with chubby kids.

56:35 Oh, okay. Let me Yeah, got it. But like it is it is like very funny to me when people are like my culture is all about food. It's like I'm pretty sure food is a is a major staple in every culture. But that being said, I'm not trying to make Tannon, you know, I'm not trying to be like, she's full of [ __ ] you know, like whatever. It's just a funny thing that every culture takes pride in like a certain basic thing as if like they're the only culture that does it.

57:02 But Jersey, they shoot in a restaurant in Jersey and they're like, "This is what Italians do. We eat." Yeah. We all go to dinner.

57:08 We all do it. Yeah. If we're lucky enough to do it, we do it. So Gigi and Tannon are talking about Dennis, who nobody [ __ ] cares about. stupid relationship and Tannon's trying to get to the bottom of like, do you care? Like, why are you meeting with him? I mean, he hurt you, right? Like, she was betrayed by him and her best friend and she just portrays it like, I don't know, like maybe her walls are up or maybe she's trying to be strong. She doesn't care. She needs something to shoot is what's happening. So, then we hear this whole story about this loser again. And then we go over to Bombshods

57:40 and he's in his is he in his Yeah, he's in his office. This guy comes in and she's like, "Ooh, this is clean to you. Nice." Cuz there's a stack of folders. He's like, "Ah, just cleaned up." She's like, "Oh, really? This is clean to you?" Okay, I see. Mhm. Mhm.

57:55 Yeah. We're bookending this episode with messy desks. First MJ and now Bombshot. So Sky is like, "Okay, so Messy Pence, um, actually, we didn't get to talk about it on Saturday, but as much as I'm pissed off at everyone else, I'm pissed off at you, too, because at some point I turned around that everybody's so busy talking to each other about our problems, and you were actually engaging with them instead of serving champagne. I mean, how could you do that?" And he's like, "No, but I had no choice but to engage with them, my dear. I mean, I stood up for both of us when I said, "My wife won't even sleep in the same bed as me." I like when he goes, "I mean, I stood up for the both of us." And she goes "Good

58:32 kind of." Mostly either way. So, he's mad that she berated him in front of everybody, and she's mad that he didn't get the bartender, and then he talks [ __ ] about their relationship to everybody when it's none of their business. And I I think they both have a point. Um, but also, Sky, you're on the Valley, and the whole point of the show is for you guys to talk about your relationships with each other. So, you're you've got a lot to get used to.

58:58 Yeah. And she basically is like she's like, "You know what? I asked you to do something and you couldn't deliver and then I pointed out and you didn't like it." He goes, "You know what? I'm a big [ __ ] failure." And she's like, "Whatever." And yes, you're right on that. That's on camera and I'll be using that clip every single time you do something wrong. Thank you very much. And so she goes, "Oh god, whenever there's a problem, you you end up losing your shit." Like, "Yeah, I'm a failure. I failed. I failed." What the [ __ ] is that? I asked you to do something, you couldn't deliver and I point it out and you didn't like it. He goes, "You know what? I'm a big [ __ ] failure." She goes, "Oh my god, even I call you out and you still do it."

59:34 Yes. I mean, I find their horrible relationship fun. I think it's cute. So, now we go to Dennis. Oh, sorry. Go ahead.

59:42 I can't tell if they're headed for divorce or this is just their love language. It could go either way right now. I think there's like a slight edge towards divorce, but not as bad as Tannon and Greg. That That's They're done.

59:56 Yeah. So, we go to Dennis and Gigi's big scene in that restaurant with the weird tiles on the wall. I can't with this restaurant and these weird [ __ ] tiles being in triangular like those shiny floor tiles that are now on the wall in weird triangular shapes. It bothers me.

1:00:13 Reflecting off of his veneers. It's just too much. Too much going on here. Oh my goodness.

1:00:19 So, um, Dennis is like, "What? No hug, no kiss, no nothing." And she's like, "Yeah, you know, I've been waiting for this moment for a long time, and so is America." Crickets from America. Then it's like, "Well, here I am. I'm here in the Tile restaurant. How about that?"

1:00:36 And she's doing this whole like, "I am so mad at you. I could [ __ ] lose it with you. Like you come in here, you don't bring me gold. I would have a sky rider over the sky saying I'm sorry. I'd be giving you gifts. I'd be giving you jewels. Nothing. You come here with not. I'm so mad. Oh god. Gigi, nobody cares. No one cares. She's like, "You were family." He's like, "We still are. We still are." She's like, "No, no." He's like, "Why are you so angry?" She's like, "Well, should we start there? Is that a good place to start?" It started when I was one years old. Okay. And no one gave me someone said the food was coming into the hanger and the food did not come into the air hanger. Okay, that airplane never made the thing. It's like, no, no, no. Why are you angry about me? Not why are you angry in general?

1:01:20 So, I was born with a a golden spoon in my a golden knife in my hand. It's like, no, what are you talking about? But I love that you have to explain things to guys on the show like they're all so stupid. She's like, "Okay, let me explain this to you. You marry me, we get divorced, and then one second later you're dating my friend." He's like, "So,"

1:01:42 he's like, "Yeah, you can't do that." He's like, "What' I do?" He's like, "It's not like I cheated on you. You know, we we got a divorce and then I started dating your friend. What's the big deal?"

1:01:53 So, she's telling us she's telling us there's a lot of hurt there. There's a lot of betrayal there. I had a fear of showing sadness. So, that's usually when anger would show up. I just I just But I went up to her and I kind of just like went into her face. And the producer goes like, "Um, but like you kind of played a part. Like how does that factor into this? Does that like you also were playing games?" She goes, "No, it doesn't matter because what I did with Dennis, like it doesn't factor into it because Dennis didn't know at that time.

1:02:22 It was part of a revenge scheme against Tai. So he thought it was a real marriage and he didn't know. So

1:02:27 he didn't know I was just using him. Um, so it it's not the same. He didn't know we're in an episode of boring liaison. Um, so she's like, "You seem numb to everything that I'm saying. Like, as if it's not a big deal to just go after somebody's friend. I mean, like, go [ __ ] yourself right now. Go [ __ ] yourself right now so hard because if you're such a [ __ ] douchebag if you're going to be I've got to go outside. Like, I'm so upset right now." Like her bad act. I just can't. GG.

1:03:02 Yeah. And he's like, and this whole thing is acting. And he's like, "Hold on a second. You're acting like I cheated on you or I left you and I didn't. You said like I didn't cheat on you or leave you for another girl." You knew very well when we started talking about the anulment. My response was, "Wow, are you already lining up a third marriage? You seem very eager to get this enulled because right there, my snarky comment was cracked." Yeah. And he's like, "And you go around and you're talking [ __ ] to everybody like, "Oh, I never love Dennis. I would never be with Dennis. I never married Dennis." So then why do you care? like why do you care for her?

1:03:35 He goes what do you care for? So just for people keeping up the marriage that Gigi didn't care about, she wanted Dennis to care about also. So just out there.

1:03:45 Yeah. And um she's like, "Really? I'm going to go outside and I'm going to [ __ ] punch something. Do you get it? I'm going to [ __ ] punch something." It's like you you're in the valley. Everything already looks like it's punched.

1:04:00 I that and then there's that, too. And so she goes outside and she's like, "What is this shit?" She's crying. Dan's just sitting there and uh the rest of us are scratching our heads like, "Wait, this was the cliffhanger? This is what we're supposed to care about?"

1:04:12 Yeah. I wonder will he drink his luchi martini? Let's find out next week. The Valley Persian style.

1:04:20 No. Well, everybody, that was it. This ends a week of Watch What Happens. Super fun week we had here with you guys. Love y'all. Go get tickets for the Golden Krappies February 27th in Hollywood. You can get those tickets at watch whatcrains.com and we will talk to you next time. Bye

1:04:39 bye everyone.

Questions about this episode

Who speaks in "The Valley Persian Style S1E03: Trunk No Show"?

Ronnie Karam (Host), Ben Mandelker (Host), Gigi (Guest), Dennis (Guest), Sky (Guest), Tannon (Guest), MJ (Guest), Tommy (Host).

What is "The Valley Persian Style S1E03: Trunk No Show" about?

The discussion revolves around the promotion of the Golden Krabby Awards, a major event celebrating the best in reality television, where fans are invited to participate in the nomination process. Additionally, there's a mention of the bonus Patreon episodes and an ongoing conversation about recent developments in the reality TV series "The Traitors."

What is mentioned in this Watch What Crappens episode?

11 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Gigi, Golden Krabby Awards, Only Fans, MJ, Sky, Ali Reza. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "The Valley Persian Style S1E03: Trunk No Show"?

The episode runs 1 h 5 min; the transcript is about 13,822 words in 205 timestamped sections.

More from Watch What Crappens

• All analyzed episodes
• Books mentioned on Watch What Crappens
• People mentioned on Watch What Crappens
• Sponsors mentioned on Watch What Crappens
• Topics mentioned on Watch What Crappens