Transcript

The Valley Persian Style S1E04: You Give Me The Sweetest Tabbouleh

From Watch What Crappens · Episode page · Watch on YouTube

· 58 min · 12,069 words · 139 timestamped sections

This is the full, timestamped transcript of "The Valley Persian Style S1E04: You Give Me The Sweetest Tabbouleh", an episode of Watch What Crappens published January 30, 2026 (58 min, about 12,069 words). It mentions 6 people, works and ideas, including Ben Mandelker, Ronnie Carum, Palm Springs, Bravo.

What this episode is about

The discussion centers around the challenges facing *The Valley*, particularly in gaining attention amidst the popularity of shows like *The Traitors*. The hosts highlight the impact of social media on viewer discourse, emphasizing the need for *The Valley* to carve out its own space online despite competing conversations.

Key takeaways

  • The Valley's charm gets drowned out by the social media juggernaut that is The Traitors.
  • Gigi's dramatic VBR has finally hit the radar—proof that even long-standing quirks can go unnoticed.
  • If a restaurant’s decor resembles a DIY disaster, does the food even matter? Asking for a friend.
  • Launching a new show after Beverly Hills is like running a marathon against a cheetah. Good luck, Valley!
  • Threads and spoilers: finally, a social media tool that respects both the gossip-hungry and the spoiler-averse.

Who speaks in this episode?

What is discussed, and when

  1. – 5:00: Patreon, Ben Mandelker, Ronnie Carum, Bravo
  2. – 15:00: Palm Springs
  3. – 20:00: Palm Springs
  4. – 25:00: Palm Springs
  5. – 30:00: Palm Springs
  6. – 35:00: Palm Springs, Bravo
  7. – 50:00: Palm Springs
  8. – 58:18: Patreon

Notable quotes from "The Valley Persian Style S1E04: You Give Me The Sweetest Tabbouleh"

  • Great, thanks. We are here to report on the Valley Persian style.
    about Ben Mandelker · at
  • Funny because I've been calling Todd Walter Mafal all week. So, I always love that comes around on Bravo. And we opened where we left off last week with this Gigi having this…
    about Bravo · at
  • So now everybody gets to Palm Springs and the kids are there and they all start going in and picking rooms and stuff and of course Gigi runs in first and gets the biggest room for herself.
    about Palm Springs · at

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

  • Ben Mandelker — Person · Host · 2 mentions · first at
    Introduces the show and co-leads the recap and commentary; drives the framing of the episode and comedic analysis.
  • Ronnie Carum — Person · Co-host · 2 mentions · first at
    Co-leads the recap with Ben; provides reactions, jokes, and interpretive commentary on cast dynamics and scenes.
    Crapins. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the glorious, hilarious, and lovely Ronnie Carum. Hi Ronnie, how's it going?

Companies & orgs

  • Bravo — Company · Broadcast network · 2 mentions · first at
    The network that airs 'The Valley', mentioned in the context of the show's scheduling and competition.

Places & events

  • Palm Springs — Place · Setting · 13 mentions · first at
    The location where the cast of 'The Valley' goes for a trip, serving as the backdrop for key scenes.

Sponsors

  • Patreon — Company · Sponsor · 4 mentions · first at
    Promoted as the platform where fans can access bonus content and support the podcast.
    We had a lot to say about that. Also, Patreon is where you can get ad free watch what crapins if you support there.
  • Golden Crappies — Event · Promoted event · 1 mention · first at
    An upcoming event mentioned by the hosts, likely related to the podcast or show.
    Patreon, but it's just all going to be there. A little hub of activity. And of course, don't forget we got the Golden Krappies coming up at the end of next month. Tickets are at watchapons.com.

Full transcript with timestamps

Welcome to Watch What Crappins. To get our videos as soon as they're released instead of waiting for a week, head over to our Patreon. That's also where you'll find our bonus episodes and our Discord community. We love you guys. Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crapins. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the glorious, hilarious, and lovely Ronnie Carum. Hi Ronnie, how's it going?

Good. How are you? Great, thanks. We are here to report on the Valley Persian style. Um, before we get into that, go join us on Patreon. We just recorded our bonus episode of the week about the traitors. We had a lot to say about that. Also, Patreon is where you can get ad free watch what crapins if you support there. We have a newsletter that's going to be rolling out soon enough uh on Patreon and that's free. That's a free thing for everyone, anyone, anyone and everyone even if you are not supporting on Patreon, but it's just all going to be there. A little hub of activity. And of course, don't forget we got the Golden Krappies coming up at the end of next month. Tickets are at watchapons.com.

So, here we are. Speaking of the traders, uh, you know, I feel so bad for the Valley Persian style and to some degree even Beverly Hills because I think the chatter on the internet on Fridays, if you go on Twitter or on threads, and I've been going on threads a lot more because you know why? On threads, you can actually label text as spoilers. So you can freely talk about things like the traitor and mark things as spoilers and you're not going to make people scared to go on there, which is so wonderful. Um, but everyone's talking about the traders and maybe it's my algorithm, but everyone's talking about the traders and this poor show, The Valley. I don't know how it's going to break through when on Friday mornings there's just no space for it for for online chatter about it, you know?

Yeah. and they're, you know, they did it a favor by putting it after Beverly Hills because that's one of their biggest shows, but you know, it's up against the Traders and it's not the most compelling, it's not the most compelling season of Beverly Hills either. So, it's like,

yeah, you know, last last night on Beverly Hills, there were some like moments on Beverly Hills last night that I think normally would generate a a large amount of Twitter chatter and I think that got lost too. I think that the the traitors is such a social media um behemoth that it's I think it's really just hard to launch a brand new show against all that. So, I feel bad for this one.

Yeah, The Valley's pretty good. I mean, I think they're doing a pretty good job. This is um season 1, episode 4. It's called Dennis the Menace. Uh which is funny because I've been calling Todd um Walter Mafal all week. So, I always love that that comes around on Bravo. And um we opened where we left off last week with this Gigi having this meeting with this guy she was married to for five minutes and having him come to this restaurant with terrible tiles on the wall that belong on the floor. And then um having a fit even though she knew everything he was going to say and then storming out of the restaurant. I just need to eat something. I need to add something.

I love by the way that you just sort of made that voice because one thing I noticed about Gigi last night which has been there for over a decade. It's always been there but for some reason I feel like we've just never noticed it

is how Gigi always talks with like a VBR. She's like I am so mad at Dennis. Dennis came and he was talking to me and I don't know why he came to the restaurant. I'm like why have we never noticed that or why we never articulated that Gigi always is so dramatic with her? Yeah, I've been doing it this season cuz I've noticed it this season, especially when she gets herself all worked up and she's like, "Oh,

I apologize." I apologize. I didn't notice it in your impersonation because I was just last night. I was like, she is so funny. She's like, "Dennis is always coming around. I just want to get this off of my head and you're acting like it's nothing." I was like, "Oh my god, finally after a decade of GG impersonation." Um, so he comes outside. He's like, "Hey, what are you so mad about? So what? So I I dated your one of your best friends, you know, the week after we got divorced. Like, who cares?" Like, whatever. She's not even your friend if she's willing to date me. Like, who cares? Like, what? Get out of here. I'm gonna kill this guy. I'm gonna kill this guy.

So, um, she's like, "Just stop. I want to get it off my head, and you're acting like it's nothing." You know, like she's shaking like she's like, "Can you relax, though? Can you relax, though? Can you relax, though?" She's like, "Fine." So, they go back inside.

They're mopping the walls in there. Just come back in. I'm I love your obsession with the child.

This restaurant is just so ugly. And, you know, here's my problem. Because the valley gets a lot of [ __ ] right? And I've over the years, you know, I lived in not the valley for 15 years. So now that I'm kind of in the valley and I I really do like it here, but there are certain things that make me crazy and a lot of it is just style. Style. It's like what happened that the valley I guess was just built in a different time and it's just like uglier architecture in general and it's just the restaurants have no taste or like good. They just don't look good. And this is like the perfect example of like let's just open a restaurant and get some Home Depot floor tiles in the cheapest section possible and put them on the wall. And it's just offensive. Can I eat in a decent looking place?

Valley. I know. I know. This is this is a valley thing. It's the valley. It's hard. I mean, there there are some aesthetically very cool parts of the valley. Like there's definitely like a mid-century modern thing that is

old little neighborhoods. Yeah. Yeah. There's like really cool, but there's also these really cool kind of like old motel and bars that like that's like the best part of the valley, but there's also just a lot of generic [ __ ] that pops up in the 80s and the 90s and you're like, "What is this?"

Yeah, there's a lot. You can tell there was like a big boom at a certain amount of at a certain time in um history just that was tasteless, you know,

tasteless. Tasteless boom. Disgusting. Tasteless boom. Well, we let's go back to this Tasteless Boom restaurant with the the tiles on the wall. And he's like, "Listen to me." He's like, "I know you're angry and I'm sorry if I did hurt you. So, you're apologizing for my [ __ ] friend?" He's like, "Yes, just Dennis and I for the last 13 years. We have just been best friends and like there's no ma like there's no other man that has been in my life, my son's life other than Dennis and we were in business together and we got married for five or six months ago in Vegas and a couple weeks after that and like he just got engaged to someone that was my friend and I haven't seen him since then after 13 years and he just dumped our entire relationship down. I'm like gi no one cares. We never seen this man before in our lives. We never heard about him.

Maybe we did. We just didn't didn't like we didn't like put him into our uh we didn't press command S and save him into our brains. So, like this whole thing like literally don't care about. Just have your margarita, wash the wall, and let's move on.

Also, you told us all last week that you only married this guy to make another guy jealous. You always thought this guy was ugly and didn't even like him, and you only married him to piss off the other guy. So, why are you acting like that?

Like, you were such a [ __ ] to this guy. And I like that he said that. He's like, you know, he said at some point he said something like, "Well, you didn't even like him. You're saying he's so ugly. I would never marry him. Why do you even care? Like, but I do. I do. I do. And he's like, look, look, I know that we're family. Like, you would have me back tomorrow. I would have you back tomorrow. Like, cuz we're family, you know? I got your back. And even if I was [ __ ] up at the end of the day, you get nothing for nothing. And that's the life of the people who put floor tiles on the wall. I mean, what are you going to do, you know?

Yeah. I still consider you a whole family. I love your dad. Eli loves me. Your mother loves me. Your sister loves me. I know. [ __ ] her, too, right? I mean, I can't even do your mom's accent right now because, you know, she's like, "You're lying. I can't take this. Don't do my mom's accent. That's the weight of my heart. No, please don't do it." There he comes. Here he comes. Right around the corner to me. Do a mom impression and make me love him again. Don't let him do this to me.

And then he's like, "Look, if we're family, right, like brothers and sisters fight way worse than that." You know, we're like brother and sister. Imagine a brother and sister that got married but then with a sister only got married to the brother to get revenge on the sister's other brother and then the brother

went and anoldled the marriage to have sex with a different sister. That's like family right?

Who doesn't fight with their sister a little bit after [ __ ] for a while? I mean, it's it's natural. She's like, "You're I just can't with you. I don't know what else to say. I don't know what else to say to you." And he's like, "Okay, well, what's the plan then?" She go, "Let's just go back to work. Let's just not ever talk about anything else again. She kind of starts doing that giggling thing where now she's like flirting with him. I just don't

Let's talk about work now. Let's talk about Okay. Intimately Gigi that was doing amazing. And so then we see their business together which was selling, you know, vibrators with Gigi's face on it or whatever.

I know. We were selling fives of those every year. And so imagine all the people just determined to put a dildo with my face on it inside of them. Let's just get back to the real things.

Maybe that's why she's talking like that. I'm using my intimate by Gigi toy right now. So Gigi. So I mean, by the way, these two were never mad at each other in the first place cuz they're like, "Okay, we're angry. We're angry. We're angry." And now everything's fine. So

let's talk about Let's talk about our vibrator business. Let's get that going again.

I know. And apparently this is going to be a big issue because oh, guess what? No one likes Dennis. So now we go around the horn to find out what people think about Dennis. And Raza's like, "I am not cool with Dennis right now. He hurt my friend Gigi. And when you hurt a friend of mine, you hurt me." And since I'm not allowed to be mad at Tommy this season, I have to be mad at someone. So I'm going to be mad at Dennis. If you hurt Gigi, you hurt me. Unless it's me hurting Gigi, then it's just fun. But it also kind of hurts me, I guess, because Gigi has knives.

And MJ's like, "Losing Dennis was a really big emotional hit for Gold Nessa." And yes, it was hilarious for us, but overall it's problematic for us, too. So, yeah, I don't like Dennis.

Yeah. And then Natasha's like, I mean, he's a guy. He thinks with his, you know, his duel. So, then the check comes and Dennis says he's got it. She's like, that's right, you do. You better get it. So, he's like, "Yeah, we both know you're not paying. You You got the unicorn wallet. No one's ever seen it. I'm here all night.

I don't get that. Speaking of unicorns, let's make a dildo unicorn. He's like, I think they already got that. God damn it. God damn it. I need to paint something. So, we go over to Sky and Bombshod's house and um uh they're Tannon has invited them to Palm Springs and um basically they're they're going to go to Palm Springs. That's the whole thing. This is a trip. Um, and so Tannon's like, you know, we haven't had a trip as a group together, and I think it'd be really wonderful if we as a group could be in one place, so I can ridicule my husband in front of everyone, and I think we'll just have a great laugh.

Um, so then we go to Reza and Adam, and Adam's in the garden in his overalls. He's like, "I'm going to Bully." And, um, he gets a text inviting them to Palm Springs. And then we see Gigi reading part of her text, and she's like, "Oh, [ __ ] yeah. I can make it. Palm Springs. And then Amir is um saying that they want to go, but are children welcome? No. Get a [ __ ] babysitter. I don't want your kids on a trip.

Way to ruin the vibe right away. Let's go party our asses off with our friends in Palm Springs Party Central with your [ __ ] kids. God.

Yeah. No, don't like that. Um so Sky is talking about how she wants to have a bigger house. Um cuz she really she wants to move out of this house a lot. She hates the valley by the way. That's the as we already know, but just to reiterate, she hates the valley. She's like, "Look at all this tasteless boom architecture around here. Get me back to Bair." So, uh she's like, "You know, when I met him, when I met Bombshod, more like bombshit, am I right?" I said, "I will never live in the valley." He's like, "That's true." But we were building and remodeling and flipping homes and the pandemic came around. I said, "Surprise, we're living in the valley now." She's like, "Yeah, it was an adjustment for me because, you know, boomshit architecture. I hate it. And now I'm here. So, oh god, get me out of this hell hole." He says it's going to be temporary. So, 5 years later, we're still here. How temporary is this? How

temporary is five years? This man puts the bomb in bombsh Thank you. And Sky. So, she's having resa the pro probably the worst realtor we've ever seen. How does this guy ever sell anything? only tells people is not to buy things. Have you ever seen a realtor do this? He's like, "Hey, listen to me. Here's what I would do. Never move. You need to keep what you have. Don't be silly. This is not a time to buy anything. I just told Gessa this. I'm telling everybody I need to sell houses. Don't buy houses." Okay. I like that when he wants to emphasize something, Reza plays a small small piano in front of him. He puts his fingers down. He takes his fingers and he goes like this on the table. He's always like, "Don't do it. If you have an interest rate that's less than Baby Shams's age, four, don't sell." I still haven't met Baby Shams's interest rates.

And he's right, though, because interest rates are still insane. I know. Don't sell. And um she's like, "Okay, but if we spend $2 and a half million dollars or something and he's like, "Oh, that is so unrealistic. One of GT still dildos is $2.5 million." Okay, listen. There's a house on Casiano for 2.3 that you would never buy. It's garbage. It's bombshot. That's Farsy for garbage.

She's like, I know I have a low interest rate, but I also have a high boredom rate going on here. I don't care. I will do a 35% interest rate. Get me out of the valley right now. Uh so he's like that's too much financial pressure. You're an idiot. And um he's like you the only house you're going to find is a mixer fixer and she's you know she doesn't want that. Something's not mapping. Like she's not mapping. It's cold. She hates it. She hates where she is. I'm putting my foot down. Oh, you stepped on the tabuli. Sorry, Adam.

So, then we go over to Don't worry, I've just made five more containers of it. So, then we go over to Amir and Natasha and um they're looking over schedules and stuff. And Amir is like, "Hey, there's something I want to talk to you about. I don't really open up about a lot cuz I don't want to be like boohoo, but like I don't know. Um cuz like I'm a witter wider and stuff and I just don't want people to treat me differently." But Adam said he mentioned an a medium and um Natasha is like, "No, I I mean, yeah, I mean, you you're still you're still far away from being a large, but I think a medium is about your right size." No, no, no. Like where she's communing with the other the other side.

And he's basically saying it's a weird thing because he doesn't like to cry and he's like afraid of crying and he always apologizes to a therapist and he doesn't he's like afraid of talking to a medium to his ex-wife and like should should Natasha be there, should she not be there? It's like a thing.

Yeah. Like and you don't want to be talking to the medium and then you start sobbing when she's like oh the wife is you know talking about how you still don't do your dishes, you know, and stuff like that. And um it's also awkward for her, you know what I mean? Cuz it's like you're always living in the shadow of this other person. And it's not like what do you what are you going to do? It's not like you can just pretend that never happened. You know what I mean? But like to have a whole ass family with somebody and them still to be like, "Oh my god, but what do I do about this feeling for the other must be a rough position for her to be in?"

It's really fascinating actually psychologically because the way they speak about it is like if it weren't for her, I never would have met you. So I love you so much. But I also love her for what she did for me. And then like I understand for him how we can have that duality, but for her I think it's probably really tricky, which is probably why she she's saying she doesn't want to sit in on this because she feels like it's more for air. But I feel like it it really does put her in a strange position.

It does because she says at some point like we don't really talk about her that much. So cuz he's vocalizing all this stuff now. I mean there's cameras around and they're like, "Okay, you need to talk about this." And so now he's talking about it every episode all the time like whenever they, you know, like and he's being open. And so I'm not dissing him for doing that. I'm just saying for her it's kind of an awkward position. It's like, okay, well, we go from this position where he was coming he was coming from a really bad place and now he's gotten to this place, which is a great place, and we have this family, but he's still now constantly talking about this other thing. So, it's got to be a mind [ __ ] for her, too.

Yeah. So then we go to Reza and he's having beers with Bombshot and Greg and um he's like, "Guys, something is really exciting that's going to happen is that we're going to surprise Adam in Palm Springs and we're going to bring him to the restaurant where we got married."

And the guy's like, "Okay, that's pretty cool. Guess we'll go to restaurant." Oh, sorry. Finish.

No, they have nothing left to say. Please speak on my mean to do that. But like, guys, it's gonna be crazy because it's going to be this restaurant and then a drag queen is gonna come deliver a rainbow cake to Adam. I'm like, are you even a gay person or are you a person pretending to be gay? Cuz I've never heard of somebody like, "Okay, a gay person. Here's what we need for my birthday party. A drag queen and a cake with a rainbow on it." Like, it sounds like somebody's mom being like, "My kid just came out of the closet. Let's have a birthday party. Get a drag queen. Get a rainbow cake."

Adam loves it. He's like, "Well, you know, this is I think this sounds like a perfect thing from Adam." Like to us, we're like, "This is just so on the nose." But, you know, Adam's like, "Oh my god, it's a rainbow. Please tell me there's tipuli inside the the cake. Is this tabuli with frosting? My favorite." And Bombshot's like, "Well, okay. Well, it's gay and it's colorful. I like it. Good trip. Sounds good to me. Is my wife going to be there? Because hopefully you have a mic for her to yell at me and call me a loser. Have I told you she started calling me the bomb? Great

bomb.com. So then Tannon and Sky are at the gym and an ongoing um an ongoing runner so far these episodes is a growing rift between the two of them, you know, like they start the season like best friends, but every episode there's something else that's bothering Tannon about Sky. So Tannon's like, "So are you excited for Palm Springs?" She's like, "No, not excited at all." And Tannon's like, "Um,

I'm the I'm planning it. I remember how I invited you to my trip. Remember how I said, "Hey, you know what be really fun is if we go go I'm going to plan a trip to Palm Springs and you can come." Remember that? Yeah. Oh, that was a disgusting text. I hated the way it was written. God, who writes text like that? Stupid.

Oh, you're right. You have the penmanship of someone who lives in the valley. I'll tell you that. So, then we go to Amir and Natasha. They're having dinner and um Amir is like, "So, what do you think about the trip?" But they talk about it and and they talk about bringing the kids and he's like, "Well, maybe a hotel would be great. You know, let's leave the kids at the hotel." He's like, "Okay, well, let's leave them with the hotel." So, at least they're doing that. Yeah. Then everything they're they're they are they're they're like, I'm going to say absolved a little bit of of wrongdoing with the group trip.

Um, not really though, cuz they bring the kids out every 5 minutes. It's like, "Oh, kids are still there.

Got to feed the kids. This is a party event. There could be coke on the tables. Let's get the kids out of here.

That's right. So, then we go to MJ and Tommy's and uh Gigi is there and Vita is sort of like uh looking at the kid, like not looking at the kid. Well, she is sort of looking at the kids, but uh Eli is there. All the kids are playing cuz Natasha also shows up. So, Vita is on babysitting duty and everyone's sitting outside and MJ something I don't know. I don't understand what happened here, but there's a pizza that's welded onto some cardboard. Did she put the cardboard into the oven with the pizza? Is that what happened?

Oh, I guess. I don't know. So, they're all outside talking and um the kids are playing

and MJ's like they're asking where Tommy is and MJ's like he went to play the he went to watch the playoffs and um the kid sees we see Vita talking to the kids and she's like um you know I prefer being inside because there's air conditioning in there. They're like

great. So outside she wasn't ridiculing them. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you got you got knocked over. You lost your toy. Boohoo. Wow. Wow. Do you know what I went through?

I wish he was telling him, "Listen, do you know that you're being babysit by the king ping pong champion of the world?"

Ping pong champion. Oh, you're sad. You're sad. You want to go outside? Oh, that is such a load of BS, child.

Today, I'm going to teach you lipstick. Come on. I'll come out with a bright with a strong red lip. with the blinder. So Gi's like, "Where's Tommy?" And she's like, "Uh, yeah, he went to play the P." So she's like, "Yeah, I haven't seen Tommy in 20 million years. Like, where's he been?" And, um, they're like, "What's the reason that Tommy's not around?" You all know the reason that Tommy is not around cuz Tommy was going to go to jail for almost beating the [ __ ] out of Reza. That's why. And it's been going on forever. And I like that they're like, "Okay, well, you got over it, so Tommy has to get over it." No.

Right. I think that Gigi's also like, um, I'm friends with Tommy. I'm not Reza. Like, he doesn't have to be scared of me. It's one thing to not want to hang around when Rez is there, but like he can come over now. It's just me and Natasha. Doesn't even know Natasha, right? And MJ.

Yeah, but Gigi wasn't great to MJ either. Gigi was really mean to MJ that last couple of years, too. She was teaming up right with Reza. She didn't say the abortion stuff, but she was still right there with Reza. So, I think Tommy's like, "Fuck these people. These are toxic, awful, horrible people who ruined your life and tried to ruin our relationship and were completely unsupportive when you needed them the most. I'm not going to be friends with them. That's it. If you want to go shoot your little TV show, go ahead lady, but I'm not a part of it. Which is fine, but also get a job. And that that too.

Natasha asks if Tommy's coming to Palm Springs, and it's like, no, you know, and Gigi's like, so your your friends are your friends and his friends are in New York. Is that what you're saying? And MJ's like, "Yeah, well, I mean, he likes you a lot." Well, then why the [ __ ] doesn't he come around, my man? I mean, like, come around here. And he's basically like, you know, Gigi's like, "Yeah, it's that's, you know, like I get to be with him on the week, you know, I'll be the 11th the wheel once again this weekend." And when I'm with Tommy, you know, like, you know, we share a bed together and, you know, but for, you know, and he's great, but at the same time, I don't get any doing. I don't get any affection. I don't get a hand on my ass or a kiss on the cheek and we used to be so into each other and now like he's when whenever he's home he's just distancing and like there's no bonding and it's sad.

Yeah. So then uh she's like, "Well, what about his past with resin at Adam?" And MJ says, "Yeah, you know, I think he can be cordial." And Gigi's like, "But why can't he re reestablish something or not have to establish something Mercedes?" But like there he needs to be there by your side because he knows that you want him to be at that moment. So like, why won't he be there?

Yeah. No, it's just it's not going to happen. It's not going to happen. And um uh and Gigi is saying how this really seems to be affecting Mercedes and it reminds she goes and it reminds me of my situation. My friends, they all know Dennis. So when when that happened to me, it happened to all of us and I need to let them know that like he's sort of back in the picture. So I just don't know what to do. I was like this has nothing to do with Dennis. And the Dennis situation was so petty and stupid and it was like a g this is like a marriage that was like built on like a lot of love that is being torn apart by reality TV. And yours was a marriage for reality TV basically without the cameras.

Yeah, exactly. And so she's like, "Yeah, I have to let them know like he's back in the picture, but I just don't know how to do it." And so they all cheers to the the weekend. And then um we go to Wait, what happened with the kids? Gigi started. Okay, so what basically the kids the kids were playing outside and Natasha's like, "Roman, Roman, don't do that. That's not how we do that in someone else's house." And then Sham's like, "It's okay. Hey, you can do it anyway. Get away, [ __ ] So, she's like, "Oh, okay. Sorry." So, now we go to resin Adam and they're packing and Adam's like, "I'm going to bring our wood cutting board because I want this to be a wild vacation.

We're bringing cutting boards, guys. Let's get loose. You're bringing a cutting board." Like, what the heck? Who brings a cutting board on a vacation? Honey,

tibuli, man. Tibuli. Oh, god. Jesus Christ. with the tibuli. Don't you want the rush of straight up tibuli in your veins?

I can't wait until someone this season finally tells Adam that tabuli is not a Persian dish and just watch the watch the blood drain out of his face because Reza is apparently too nice to tell him. But girl,

better work on some yellow rice. So now they're driving and uh they're heading out to Palm Springs and Sky really wants to go to Arowan. She's like, "So we're going to Arowan." So, question. Instead of Palm Springs, why don't we just all go to Arowan and then go home after 45 minutes? That seems like fun time, right?

She's like, "We're not going to Arowan." Okay. And uh they're like, "Well, what did Greg drive? Why isn't Greg with us?" And she's like, "Uh, he's in the Porsche, the GT3." And he's like, "Oh, I'm going to come back with him. That sounds good to me. I'll go in the guy car." And Tannon's like, "Yeah, I'm driving a Sky and Bombshod because Greg already went to Palm Springs to set everything up." And I mean, we just argue all the time when he's driving. I can't do it. Like, I will not drive with him. I just drive myself anyway. So, whatever.

We're even with this guy. And isn't the Porsche your new car that he got you? Yeah. But apparently Greg complains all the time when they're driving. So, um, Skye's like, "By the way, do you think I should just bring up the Gomesa situation? Should I talk to her about it? cuz she like smoked weed at my house and I just don't want her to act weird or lose her cool, you know. And then we see M Gigi's driving with MJ and um and Resa Jackson and Gigi is saying she's like, "Oh my god, I hate it when people don't use their blinkers." Okay. Like, which is funny cuz I never would have seen Gigi as someone as like adherent to blinker etiquette. I would have think she'd be like, "Whatever, I was changing my lanes." I think that people would like understand that. But she's like, "They didn't use their blinker. God damn it." Uh, so now Adam and Resa are driving their car and they're talking about Tommy. Adam's like, "Did you see

when Tommy when we left?" Because I went up and I said hello to him and then I gave him like a little shoulder bump cuz his hands were full. Oh wow, that's very sweet of you, my love. But you see the tension in Russ's face like, "Oh my god, do not make me be friends with Tommy again, please." He's like, "Well, I hope it was a nice icebreaker for him to feel comfortable to come and hang out with us at some point." I even told him, "Listen, we changed all of our potted plants in the front. Now they're in now they're in rubber pots. So if you can throw them all you want and they'll just bounce."

Speaking of ice breakers, could we just pull over to get some ice? My shoulder's a little sore from that shoulder bump. It hurt.

That was He's really rough. So that GT MJ and Resa Jackson in their car. Yeah. When Tommy was dropping you off, I was just shocked to see had him go out of his way and say, "Hey, Tommy." And then they bumped elbows. I was like, "Oh my god." No one even used a blinker for that. They could have hurt somebody.

But it also was like a little weird that when Adam bumped shoulders with Tommy, Adam went, "Gi, no." I was like, "I wasn't even touching you. He must have PTSD."

Then he started hitting himself in the face with the thorn edge of roses. It was really weird. I don't know what's up with that guy. MJ is MJ's saying that um she's never she doesn't really know what sort of fear and anxiety Reza carries about this reconciliation with Tommy or whatever. Um cuz that you know it was so dark for especially for people who really don't didn't watch those last few seasons. There was a restraining order. Reza was suing. He he they he actually wanted Tommy to get put in jail. It was felony counts etc. It was it was really really bad. And the things that Reza said that preceded it were horrible things. Um, so it was it was a dark and terrible uh, you know, nadier for these two friends.

And so MJ is just saying like she just wishes someone or something that I could just toss him in the ring and be like, "Bro, it's going to be okay." She basically is saying, "I know like if just get together with Reza and like you'll see it's okay and then we can build from there and we'll let bygones be bygones." And then she goes, "And there's a beautiful pot of gold on the other side of the rainbow." Um, actually, we swap that with a pot of tubuli. I hope that's okay.

Um, so now everybody gets to Palm Springs and the kids are there and they all start going in and um picking rooms and stuff

and of course Gigi runs in first and gets the biggest room for herself. And Reza is putting jalapenos in a beer. It's putting an entire jalapeno in a beer. I mean, this guy's bold. And

it is bold. And And we also, by the way, I there's something that I would like to get to the bottom of that I feel like is never explained. And maybe I missed it, so maybe you can clarify this for me. Why does Reza have a big yellow stain in the middle of his white shirt for the whole episode? What happened? Bravo is so good about continuity. Do we know what got spilled? Was there a mustard incident on the road? Did you see that yellow stain? It was driving me nuts. I didn't know.

Oh my god. Right in the center of his shirt. I was like, something spilled. We need to get to the bottom of this. Reza does not walk around with this with a yellow stain on his outfit ever. I don't know. Reza's changed. You know, we saw his kitchen.

No chevron. No lines. Something's going on. Straight lines. No more anchored lines.

So, I feel like this is the week that gays are getting attacked for their kitchens on Bravo, too. Because I mean we're the ones doing it. I'm the one doing it on this show. But then there was Southern Charm that storyline this week. So it's like it's a big time. Gays get your kitchens in order. Okay.

We'll never win media award. Yeah. Really holding our our fellow gays. I don't think we had a chance. Yeah. We didn't have a chance of that anyway.

So Skye's like, "Oh, of course." For some reason, we get the smallest and the ugliest of the yuck room. It's the yuck room. That's where we live. We might as well be back home in the valley.

She hates it cuz she walks in. She's like, "Gh, it smells in here." And Tannon's like, "I mean, even if it smells terrible to say it right away when you walk in, she is just stupid. She's very, very stupid." And Reza's like, "If my friend had set up a trip to Palm Springs and invited me and I wasn't paying for the house, I wouldn't lead with complaints." I was like, "You would, Reza, 100%." You'd be like, "Bitches be like getting bad Airbnb, where the B&B stands for [ __ ] not buying good homes. Am I right? [ __ ] be getting bad B&Bs?

What are you putting me in a rest stop? Is that like the bedroom that I'm getting on this trip? Is my pillow going to be a urinal cake? Like, what is going on? Palm Springs is so special to us. And you would get this awful shitty home. I hate it here. But we are family and we will get through it. I love all of you guys here even if you are paying high interest rates against my advice. So Bombshot is getting hangry. Um and he's just searching for any food that he can get. And R.J. is like so how was your how was your car ride? Was it like the same vibe? Like what was your car ride like? Like was it good? Like tell me all about it.

Tannon is um traumatized by riding with bombshot inside the car because he is a complainy complainy backseat driver. He's like, "When are we there? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Can we get food? Can we go?" "No." "Can we go to Fudruckers?" "No." "Can we go to Target?" "No." "Can we go anywhere?" "I'm bored. I'm bored." So now MJ is wishing Adam a happy birthday in the bedroom. They're going to do some birthday shots. And Gigi's like, "Um, I have a question because the kids are in the back. Like is there another area or like an outside area where I can go in this house to like maybe have a smoke or something because I really need to have a smoke. There were so many people on the road who really don't know how to make turns.

So Sky tells her to go to the front. There's a swing that she could go on. And then she tells us, "I am a strong woman and strong woman don't need to do cat fight. Read don't do that. I'm not scared of anyone." I'm like, I don't think this was a cat fight moment, but that's fine. But then she goes though because she's going to confront Gigi and she knows that confronting Gigi can lead to a knife fight. So she's like, I'm going to confront her and I'm not going to fight.

So she goes out and Gigi's calm. She got Gigi in like a good mood, you know, also smoking a blunt.

Yeah. Well, that could still go anyway with Gigi. Gigi says that calms her down, but we haven't really seen a ton of proof that that's the truth. So sky goes out like I would love to share something with you. Um hate the valley, hate my husband, but otherwise you know last time you came to my house, kids were upstairs and you were smoking weed. She's like, um I do want you to know that whether it's about me or whether it's about me smoking weed or whether it's about me having a dildo business that does really well or my only fans or whatever it is, you can talk to me. Like even if you're just constipated, like I'm a very easy person to talk to, okay?

And I respond well to honesty and openness with people, but you know, I'm sorry. Like I just wasn't paying attention. So

it was it was actually shocking. Well, first of all, I mean, everything Gigi's saying is true. She's been very well documented about being easy to talk to and responding very well to honesty

um and confrontation. She's just great with that. But uh what was shocking was she goes, "But uh sorry about that." that I was like, "Whoa,

that is something we've never heard." It was just like a normal It was actually like a very nice normal scene amongst adults. And she's like, "Oh, yeah. Sorry about that. My bad." And then everything was fine. So then Sky is like, "Well, for some reason I thought you were going to lose your cool." She's like, "No, I don't lose my cool with people being honest and straightforward. I lose my cool with people being fake and [ __ ] and lying and talking behind my back and those types of things. I'm smoking weed. I got the munchies. Let's go back inside. I'm cool Gigi today.

Just wait because I don't know if you've seen the previews yet, but I really eat you a new one soon. So, go back and enjoy your comfort while you think you have it.

Maybe she'll be on good behavior because she knows she's going to ambush everyone with Dennis later in the evening.

Oh, maybe. Yeah. She's already got her drama planned out for the evening. Yes. So now inside Adam's like guys to bully Jesus. Um and so Reza's like guys hopefully before the end of the trip it's going to be Resa Jax and Gessa Jax. You guys should have sex. And then you know Gigi and Sky come back in. They pretend like they were having a fight but like they didn't have a fight guys. And Tannon goes, "Guys, can I quickly say something?" Okay. Um, I just have like a little surprise coming in. It's a tide stick for Reza. Okay, everyone gather around. We're gonna do this together as a family. All right, let's fix that that shirt.

And so, she talks about how she wanted she's been wanting to connect with a medium um since her father passed away. And so, she heard about this amazing medium and got her off Instagram. So, let's see what happens. And then um she announces that there's going to be a medium and then Tasha is like, "Oh god, I don't know that Amir is expecting this. I don't know that this is exactly the right time to do this." And he's like, "Yeah, I don't want to be emotionally triggered. So, can I say something?" No. To to the people who will potentially have sex tonight, I brought pineapple juice for all of you because that makes your your vagina smell good. So, and R.J.'s like, "Amazing."

Oh, Jackson. So then then they start dancing and then there's like some guacamole happening and Reza makes some guac for MJ and they're gonna go have like a whole talk and Reza is saying like Mercedes and I have been friends since we were teenagers and she started going to Beverly Hills High School and I was like it's love at first sight. I can't wait to undermine this girl for the rest of our lives. I can't wait to out her for forging checks. You know, it was instantly. It's super close. I had a lot of regrets. I wish I could turn back time.

And I wish Merc had never fought with me, but you know, it did. And I'm hot-headed and my dad had a temper and I'm a Leo, so like get over it, you know. So MJ is like, "Okay, look, you know, Tommy dropped me off and um I just want the opportunity for you guys to be like, "Hey, what's up?" Well, if I see him come around, I want to like avoid him because I feel like I don't want to trigger him. And she's like, "Yeah, but like I don't think he does have that animosity, but he's like very much on an island." I was like, "By the way, um MJ, just want to just revise that a little bit. He does have that animosity. He really does.

He 100% has the animosity." Yeah. What part of I HATE THAT [ __ ] AND I NEVER WANT to see him again is not animosity.

I [ __ ] HIS PLOTS. I WANT TO BREAK HIS SKULL. SO, UH, LIKE, "YEAH, but I just have a wish that everybody can get along and we can have an icebreaking ceremony." And he's like, "Well, do you think it's just breaking the ice so we can tolerate it, or do you think Tommy's open to being friends because that's a big deal? Like, one day I would like to tell Tommy, don't buy property in Los Angeles with me." She's like, "Yeah, no, just icebreaker. That's toleration. Let's just shoot for toleration." And she's she also says stuff about like all his friends are in Queens so like he's alone and he's hard and you're a skittle and d and he's like I'm not in a negative place with Tommy and I don't have any ill will even though he did break a cactus which was expensive but I've moved on and my ultimate wish is obviously to be in a better place and I see Mercedes living her life as a single married woman and

if it takes me putting myself in a difficult uncomfortable situation I guess that's what has to be done cuz I am a murder.

Yeah. And he cries and he he says that watching her care for her dad helped her and watching you as a wife and a mother and a business woman and someone who can eat tibuli and not tell my husband it's not even person. You're such a good person. You're such a good person.

Stuff is happening. Stuff is happening in the kitchen. Everyone's playing around. It's like sort of fun and games and everything. And uh now everyone gathers in the living room because the medium is going to come in and the lady comes in and tiff her name is Tiffany and so she is first thing she says is I'm getting a strong female energy which is a bit open. There's a bit of a a vagory there. So R.J.'s like oh maybe it's my grandmother. And she's like and then she starts saying you are a natural entertainer. She's like, "Do you dance professionally or did you dance professionally?" He's like, "Oh, get out of here." Wow, that's crazy. And she's saying, "Yeah. Um, I'm getting a sense of a Michael Jackson song and I see you doing that infamous lean. You're leaning in. Did you practice doing that?" And he's like,

"Yeah, she literally says she shows me that you did a compilation of Michael Jackson songs and I see you doing the infamous lean." I mean, that's pretty crazy.

That was so specific. And I was like, "Okay." Okay. And then he goes, "Yeah, actually my dad created an apparatus with our hands where I could put my feet in and I could lean forward so I could do the lean." I was like, "Okay, this is crazy cuz I don't believe that that's something that you Google." And I don't feel like he's like I don't think this is a situation. He told one person and the person told the producer, unless maybe it's a story he told the producers and the producers told the psychic, but that's crazy.

Yeah, that was nuts. And then they make him do the Michael Jackson dance and stuff. So he does that and so Tiffany's like, "Okay, you uh MJ, um I think it's your dad and I'm seeing rings." And she's like, "Oh my god, my dad gave me a ring." And I gave it to my son and I was like, "You can't take this out of the house." But then he did take it out of the house and he lost the ring and then he cried and he cried for like an hour and a half and then it ended up being in his shoe and it wasn't even lost. He goes, "No, no, no. A ring camera. Tommy is throwing a plant.

Um, and then she looks at Reza. She goes, "And Reza, your dad has passed as well. Were you the first in your family to get a white car?" He's like, "And then he tells a story about how he wanted a convertible. He wanted a black BMW." And his dad was like, "You're getting a white 535i." He forced me to get a white car. How did you know? And that for anybody who does not know is very Persian. It's a very Persian thing to have a white BMW or white Mercedes. Especially Merced my friend Mike um who's Persian, one of my besties is always we're always talking about that and laughing cuz all his friends show up. Every time we have a big event and it's all his Persian friends come, it's all like these white Mercedes and BMWs pulling up. So funny.

It's like he made me get a white one. I didn't even want one. And he said black. No, white. That's so Persian.

Yeah. So he's basically he says that his his dad had dementia and so like you know it's nice he feels comforted thinking or imagining that his dad is in a better place in a better state and channeling through this medium. I told you so about the car.

Yeah. So then uh now it's time to talk about uh Tannon and Tiffany is saying um her this is more generic. She's saying like, "Well, I know you guys didn't see eye to eye on a lot of things, but you need to know he loved you and you're always daddy's girl." I was like, "Okay, that one that was like whatever. That's classic psychic stuff." Like, that one was not as exciting to me. But the other the others were great. And then she gets to Omir finally. So, she's like, "I feel a strong energy coming from you." And Natasha starts crying. And she's like, "Okay, it was a sudden passing and I think it's a younger female suddenly passing." And Natasha's getting nervous and Tiffany says, and when she comes through, she just says, "You need to know how much I love you and I'm sorry I didn't mean to go when I did." And everyone's crying now. And now she's acknowledging a wedding. Is this your wife? And he's like, "Yeah." And she

goes, "Because she loves you. She loves you. She thinks you're a great wife. And she says you're a good fit for him. And she's also showing me that it was unexpected when she passed." And he said that yeah, she had cancer, but it wasn't like a hospital bed or anything. She just like collapsed and passed away.

Yeah, that's so sad. And um I mean this is all this is very nice. And then she's saying like I'm getting something about a giraffe. Like does your daughter like giraffes? And like the daughter loves giraffes. This is the the the the dead wife playing with the daughter through the giraffe and everything. It's all it's like they're like everyone's like crying and I'm sitting there watching like I was like I was practically crying too. And um

I wasn't cuz I was like how many mediums are we going to have in one week? Enough. Enough with all of our dead relatives. Just leave me alone. I'm watching Bravo. Can I enjoy myself? Can we fight each other now? What the [ __ ] Um so yeah, it just it was sort of all this stuff like she's telling me like I'm with you. I'm happy. I'm proud of you. This was also actually a bit like standard psychic stuff like I'm proud of you. I love your choices. says, "You're doing the right things. I'm with you." And da da da da. But you can see it's like very comforting to them and it's still like a very an emotional situation to be in. And when he said that like she just like collapsed and died, that was so heartbreaking.

So there's like hugs. I like when she was like, "Guys, um I'm seeing someone through. This is for someone named Tree. I don't I don't know, but it's an older man and he's saying, "Give me back my pajamas." Wrong show. Wrong show. Okay. It's just like a general bravo. No. No. Just accidentally winds up as he's like, "I ched the wrong person."

He's He's waving an octopus in the air. I'm not sure. There. Took a wrong turn. Sorry. Okay. So, now um there is a song playing once you go Persian baby ain't no other version. which I like. Um, and now MJ FaceTimes Tommy and he's like, "Yeah, I'm having the best time." Like just playoffs. I'm with the kid there. She's like, "Yeah, but while you're home relaxing, I'm just like trying to say res and I got to a place where it's respectful and maybe like there's an icebreaker coming and he's like, "Nah, this is where I'm at. I'm I'm hanging with my kid. All right. I ain't doing nothing beyond this, so forget it."

She's like, "But you can forgive each other." He's like, "Nah, love you. Hope you have fun. Look forward to seeing you tomorrow. Uh, I'm going to watch this movie with my kid. Leave me the [ __ ] alone.

Reza has a level of comp comfortability that he talks to my wife in public that I just don't accept. I'd rather not partake for me. On Monday, you said terrible things, but Tuesday we're going to go to lunch. That's not how I operate. Cuz I have lunch plans with Vita WHERE I SAY, "YOU'RE [ __ ] CRAZY, VITA." OKAY, so lunch is off the table. I will always keep them at arms length. And I'm talking big arms like Mr. Met kind of arms. That's just me. That's how I operate. I already got one crazy I already got one crazy lady in my life. I don't need to. All right, leave me alone. So, um, then MJ is about to cry over it. And then we see Gigi coming out already and R.J. being like, "Oh, yeah.

Yeah, so hot." Like, gosh, I'm not believing you two. Just don't even try for the show. It's not It's not worth it. Nobody needs it. So, now we go to dinner. It's Adam's birthday. They give him a cheers. And um the guys are wondering who's got the good cologne. Uh because the entire restaurant's turning around to smell it. And Greg's like, "Oh yeah, I have a natural pheromone that lures women in. They call me at 2 in the morning." Tannon's like, "It's a pheromone called gross." That's what it's called.

Um so Adam's like, "By the way, is anything happening with you and RJ Gigi? Oh my god. Like I ship you guys." And she's like, "We're in Palm Springs. It's 127 degrees. Like, I cannot even think about [ __ ] this man right now." And Rez is like, "Yeah, but what does that have to do with ar nibbling on your titties?" So, they get to this restaurant, 8:49. This is where they got married. Um, and Adam's like, "So, this year Raz and I will be married for 10 years, and we'll be together for 15 and making tibuli for three. So, it's a really special anniversary for us. He brings out the best in me. Like, he has the best temperament. Like, if we were if I were married to me, we'd be like shooting a daylight special. But like, one of us would be in jail and like the other one would be like, "Bitches would be dead because I killed the other me and other me wins over other me. Oh my god, [ __ ] be winning."

So, Gigi's been calling Natasha and she's not answering. And they're like, "It's she's got babies. Leave her alone." And uh Resza's like, "Oh my god, I'm seriously impressed. She's got three under six. I'm gonna say that a lot because it's the valley and they're the nice couple. Three under six." So Gigi's like, "You guys, the medium went in on the situation with like a mirror." Like I like I wanted to hug him like so many times. And they start talking about that and everything. And all of a sudden, you hear this like bang bang bang bang bang. And it's Dennis has walked in and he's surprising them. And since no one's looking at him, he literally wraps on the table and they're like, "Whoa." It was like the traitor's someone coming in at breakfast. Oh, hello. I got a bag full of dildos here. Who wants one? They're like, "Oh god, where'd this [ __ ] guy come from?" And at first they're thinking he just happens to be in Palm

Springs. And Rez is like, "What the [ __ ] is he doing here?" Like Dennis and Gulessa got married and then there was a huge betrayal. He bought a house at 7% interest. He didn't use his blinker, but I got over it, so they need to get over it. And R.J. is like, she paints this whole paint. He paints this whole picture of Dennis being the villain, but like she's also the villain. And she admitted to hooking up with Dennis just to get back at her ex. So they're just playing each other's games. Wow.

So he joins them for dinner and they're like, "What the [ __ ] is this guy doing?"

So like, so you just came up and um they're like, "So is this all it takes NASA? I mean, what the hell? He sent you a Mother's Day text. That's all you need?" And she's like, "No, I mean, yeah, I did." But then I started unloading on him and I went outside and I threatened to punch a wall and you know, then we went back inside and they were mopping the other walls and we've talked in person and it all worked out.

By the way, were you as surprised as I was that Dennis had hair? I just assumed he was bald. Or there's a part of me that wonders, is that like a unit that he has on top of his head? Because it kind of looks like fkaca. It literally looks like a like a nice like like brown fkatcha on his head walking around, you know?

It might be because I think he's like drawing in his eyebrows. Like there's there's a lot odd going on with this guy.

Yeah. So, um, so MJ's like, "As someone who cares about Gessa, I don't like the way you stepped in and out of her life so quickly without any explanation cuz like I've been there you with you, Dennis, since Elijah's third fourth birthday." And that's what I'm talking about. I want you to know the reason it was easy for me to ice you out and ghost you is because I thought what you did to Gold Nessa was cruel. So for you to just slide into this dinner spot with us is zero accountabilities. And yeah, I did learn how to call someone out at a table on the traders. Congratulations. It's new MJ. He's like, well, I mean, come on. But let me ask you something. Were you there for the first 13 years when she was horrible to me and was she treating me like [ __ ] Where were you guys? Oh, then why'd you marry her? Shut up. and they're not your friends. And Gigi's like, "I was not treating you like [ __ ] for 13 years." And he's like,

"Hold on, Gigi. Hold on. Let me take care of this." And Rea goes, "But she's my homie. Like, I'm not your homie. Why am I going to stick up for you? Like, if she commits a crime and like I'm in the courtroom, she's my homie. Like, I either forgot. I was looking the other way when the gun went off. Like, what?" MJ's like, "I want you to be accountable for today, 2025, also known as 2025, and I don't want to go back to 2015." He's like, "Why?" Because I don't like the way that you're casual and unaccountable for the things that you were doing to people that you claim to care about. And he's like, "Okay, that's how you feel. I don't feel that way. I see that." And it's just funny because they're having a whole confrontation with this guy, but like to us as the viewers, this is like an unearned fight. And we're just like, "Oh, this is the guy who's sitting here and they're already just like they're

like they're telling him how it is. They're sassing him off, but like we only just learned that they don't like him like 10 minutes ago." So I'm like, "Uh, okay. I guess we're supposed to be fired up by this." And GG's like, "Well, 127% of me is enjoying all of this because it's like a [ __ ] you to Dennis." And it's like for him to understand like I'm not the only one who thinks it was [ __ ] up. And Dennis is like, "Look, at the end of the day, you get nothing for nothing. And that's all you can say for the life of people with wigs on their head. And I still I still don't feel what I did was wrong. I mean, that girl wasn't a friend, so who cares if I [ __ ] her? Like, what an idiot this guy is.

He's like completely missing the point. So MJ's like, "Okay, but you still left her." And he's like, "So?" Then she goes, "So you got together with somebody two seconds later." Okay. And then you shacked up and then you put rings on Instagram. I mean, the way you live for the gram, that's something else. And that's coming from a Shaw. And what does marriage mean to you that you get engaged four times in one year? Like honestly, I don't even care. That's my understanding. There you go. That's it. That's all it is. It's like, and Gigi's like, what? So, everyone's horrified that that he doesn't even care about this. And MJ goes, that's the what the problem is. And Sky is like, my question is, why are you here? I know why I'm here. I got dragged here, and for a moment, I thought it might actually be better than the [ __ ] valley, but it's actually worse. But why did you choose to come join us? Who are you even? Why

are you here? And do you know where there's an air one? If you're leaving soon, can I bum a ride with you? He's like, look, you guys have been asking me questions. I already had this conversation with Gessa. And R.J.'s like, wait, hold on. She knew you were coming? Yes, dummy. Are you just Hello. So, um, they're like all appalled. And Russ is like, you're going to bring Dennis and not tell anybody? Are you nuts? Like, it was my husband's birthday. You know how big of a deal this was going to be for me? Like, I'm pissed, [ __ ] Like, this is crazy. You almost ruined Adam happy tabuli day. You almost ruined Adam's nonmilestone birthday at a restaurant where he got a cake with nice frosting.

Adam's like, "I'm kind of bothered you didn't tell me this was coming cuz I would have made a larger bowl of tibuli." She's like, "Well, I didn't want to tell anybody because I wanted to have a scene. He's back in my life and we're going to start working and at some point he has to come across to all of you and he has to address you and Reza and MJ at some point." And I thought this would be the moment that we would do it. So now they're like, "Oh my god." But Amir and Natasha show up and they're like the nice ones. So it's like, "Okay." So Gigi starts like they change the vibe changes and Gigi's like, "You guys are like goals for marriage. Oh my god."

And then they realize that like there's tension at the table. So M's like, "Oh my god, we came at the worst time." And Tenon's like, "No, no, you came at a good time. There's some stupid person's at the end of the table with Fkacha on his head starting shit." But like honestly, it's really boring. Yeah. So out comes the drag queen with the rainbow cake and they sing birthday the birthday song to him and stuff and Gigi's like, "Oh my god, you guys, if he smashes the cake in Dennis's face, will that be good payback? Like, should we do that?" And R.J.'s like, "Don't do that.

That's aggressive, Dennis. Like, I feel like how I feel because she was so hurt and I experienced her hurt. She slashed my tires when she was mad at you. He's like, I understand that, but you guys ambushed me. He's like, no, we didn't ambush you. You ambushed us. Look, I'm dancing in my chair like baby Shams was when he was one years old and I didn't get to see him. He's like, if she's okay with me being here, then you should guys should be okay. And MJ's like, no, it's not okay. So Gigi says, "Well, I think that they need to realize that you're going to be back in my life, whether we're working friends or whatever we are. And what I'm asking you is if you're comfortable with me telling them my side of this since you already got to tell your side. Now I want to tell my side, man, I don't want you piping in because you're going to start piping in if you start telling your side. And I'm not going to be able to

take you piping." Now Gigi's getting herself all worked up over nothing. She's mad. She's And so he's like, "So, and now are you comfortable?" She goes, "It's either a yes or a no." I was like, "What are you what is what is happening? Why are you screaming about this?" And the drag queen's like, "And so Dennis is like, "Okay, well, tell your side first so you don't retaliate on what I said because I don't want you to go piggybacking off what I'm saying cuz like you say you're first and I'm always the [ __ ] retaliation, bro. So go [ __ ] with whatever." It's their best like you go first. No, you go first because I don't want you to have to say what I said. But I don't. So is like did you not see the cake? There was a gay rainbow and it was in the shape of a heart and the heart had tibuli on it. A drag queen brought it. This is sacriigious. Keep the straight nonsense at home.

And she's just like, I don't want to fight. I don't want to fight. I just want to smoke. I just want to smoke. Like, what are you even mad at? You're the you're you caused all this and now you're mad at nothing. You crazy pants. This two bit improv scene that was happening. So now she says she's mad because Dennis won't take accountability. I'm like

neither will you, you [ __ ] weirdo. My god, she's so annoying. But you know, she's keeping it moving. I guess she's trying. She's trying. Um, but yeah, that was the episode. So, um, yeah, we'll see what happens next. Well, next week they get into a car accident while they go racing cars. So great. Uh, we will see how that turns out. Thanks everyone for being here. We love you all. Have a great weekend. Go check out our Patreon. Go buy tickets to the crappies and we will talk to you again on Monday. Bye

bye. I

Questions about this episode

Who speaks in "The Valley Persian Style S1E04: You Give Me The Sweetest Tabbouleh"?

Ben Mandelker (Host), Ronnie Carum (Host).

What is "The Valley Persian Style S1E04: You Give Me The Sweetest Tabbouleh" about?

The discussion centers around the challenges facing *The Valley*, particularly in gaining attention amidst the popularity of shows like *The Traitors*. The hosts highlight the impact of social media on viewer discourse, emphasizing the need for *The Valley* to carve out its own space online despite competing conversations.

What is mentioned in this Watch What Crappens episode?

6 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Ben Mandelker, Ronnie Carum, Palm Springs, Bravo. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "The Valley Persian Style S1E04: You Give Me The Sweetest Tabbouleh"?

The episode runs 58 min; the transcript is about 12,069 words in 139 timestamped sections.

More from Watch What Crappens

About this transcript: the episode's spoken words as captioned on YouTube, split into timestamped sections. Reclip.Me locates every person, work and idea in the text, keeps the time it is first named, and quotes the words around it verbatim. Last updated January 30, 2026.