Vanderpump Rules S12E3 : Venus Try Trap

What is discussed, and when

1. 0:00 – 10:00: Vanderpump Rules, Audrey, Angela Roman, David Oscar Marcus
2. 10:00 – 20:00: Angelica, Audrey, David Oscar Marcus
3. 20:00 – 30:00: David Oscar Marcus, Audrey
4. 30:00 – 40:00: Shane Davis, David Oscar Marcus
5. 40:00 – 50:00: David Oscar Marcus, Fried Green Tomatoes, Vanderpump Rules
6. 50:00 – 1:00:00: David Oscar Marcus, Audrey, Angelica
7. 1:00:00 – 1:10:00: Angelica, David Oscar Marcus, Audrey, Shane Davis
8. 1:10:00 – 1:20:00: Audrey, David Oscar Marcus, Angelica, Shane Davis
9. 1:20:00 – 1:22:30: Vanderpump Rules, David Oscar Marcus

Notable quotes from "Vanderpump Rules S12E3 : Venus Try Trap"

• Good. It's Vanderpump Rules Day, so we're very excited. Monday will be our last Amazon Live. Join us at 400 p.m.

  about Vanderpump Rules · at 0:32

• Important feature, which is a lazy season of awfulness. Because I'm wow, Marcus and Kim, I'm gh, they're toxic and awful.

  about David Oscar Marcus · at 3:52

• Yeah. So we open up with everyone waking up because it was just Audrey's birthday party. So everybody's hung over and Audrey is Whoever planned this surf photo shoot for the day after my birthday is diabolical. I'm going to.

  about Audrey · at 5:35

• Doing more photo shoots and everything and they're doing a light change and stuff and now Angelica, she's the new sir host as she arrives and he's Oh, darling, look at you.…

  about Angelica · at 14:38

• Gpacho is cuz like I don't get it. And Natalie's haven't you ever heard of fried green tomatoes? And he goes, Yeah, have you seen the movie Fried Green Tomatoes? And she's No. He's Yeah, well, the boyfriend gets run over by a.

  about Fried Green Tomatoes · at 43:32

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

• David Oscar Marcus — Person · 32 mentions · first at 3:57
• Audrey — Person · 13 mentions · first at 5:40
• Angelica — Person · 12 mentions · first at 14:42
• Venus — Person · 11 mentions
• Andy Kim — Person · 10 mentions
• Shane Davis — Person · 7 mentions · first at 5:20
  Stupid. this whole episode it's just, they go rock climbing and Shane Davis is Yeah, I got shot three times. It's what?
• Joe Shane — Person · 7 mentions
• Gabby — Person · 3 mentions
• Demi — Person · 2 mentions
• Angela Roman — Person · 1 mention · first at 0:48
  Find that link in our link in bio over on Instagram. So do it. Do it. This week we had Angela Roman Allison Roman, the famous chef who I call Angela for some reason. we're just so close.

Books & papers

• Fried Green Tomatoes — Book · 2 mentions · first at 43:36

Concepts & topics

• Vanderpump Rules — Concept · 7 mentions · first at 0:32

Places & events

• Duke — Place · 5 mentions

Full transcript with timestamps

0:04 Welcome to Watch What Crappins. To get our videos as soon as they're released instead of waiting for a week, head over to our Patreon. That's also where you'll find our bonus episodes and our Discord community. We love you guys. Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Happens. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben over there. Hello Balloons.

0:30 Hi Ronnie. How's it going? Good. It's Vanderpump Rules Day, so we're very excited. Monday will be our last Amazon Live. Join us at 400 p.m. Pacific time on Amazon Live. You can find that link in our link in bio over on Instagram. So do it. Do it. This week we had Angela Angela Roman Allison Roman, the famous chef who I call Angela for some reason. Um we're just so close. I just started calling her Angel. Angie for sure. Um,

1:00 it was really fun talking to her. Join us. Uh, you can go listen to that at crappy hour this week. And our Christmas movie with the reality gays this year will be a fourpart recap of My Secret Santa on Netflix. So, probably do save yourself some sanity and don't watch it, but listen to it because it's really fun times. And today, Vanderpump Rules season 12, episode three, Crash Out Queens. Whoa. Whoa. I've got to say I'm I'm Last week I was like I think I like the reboot and this week I'm like I'm fully committed.

1:34 I'm like in it. I I not only like it, I was like I'm actually already teetering towards love. I was so entertained by this stupid episode. It was just what I needed. Stupid back and forth about you said this and then this and then she text said this. You got like a toxic couple. You've got like you got a you know an ang I about to say a toxic queen. I was gonna say an angry gay. It just it's so silly. It's so stupid. And it's like I'm just surprised that it's only three episodes old. I feel like I'm actually already like I feel like I'm already in it. I'm in the trenches. And I'm not saying this because I went to the Vanderbump rules thing last week and I met some of them. I'm not influenced by that at all. I'm saying it like I I think it's just like the it's the it's it's exactly what I want and need right now and I think it's doing a great job.

2:23 Uh yeah, I'm really enjoying it as well. I'm actually trying to find this uh this article with what's his button in it. U Venus that he was on the podcast and some of the quotes are just so funny I wanted to read it to you but I cannot find Oh, Venus. Yes. So he was on so bad it's good with Ryan Bailey, Vanderpump Rules server Venus. um is the title of the episode. Um Venus has a talking head look. Okay. He talks about his talking head. They talk about him, why he's working at sir. Um he said he did watch Vanderpump Rules, but he's really a fan of Vanderpump. Lisa is my queen. And I finally just grew up here and was like, I'm sending in an application and I was hired on the spot and I've been the queen bee of sir ever since. Uh okay, first red flag. Then he's talking about how he grew up in a town with small pastures and cows and he only had a post office and gas station. So he had to get

3:19 out of there. And he says, "So I always knew I was not meant to have this small town farm life. I just have some kids and that's about it. Like no way. I was like I'm a star. I've always known I was a star. I started writing memoirs in the fourth grade."

3:34 Memoirs. Multiple memoirs. Multiple versions of his life. So, we've got delusional people who are already completely famous in their own mind. I mean, gotta love it.

3:49 And the show has gone back to its most important feature, which is a lazy season of awfulness. Because I'm like, wow, Marcus and Marcus and um Kim, I'm like, gh, they're toxic and awful. There, of course, are there a couple that drags everyone into their drama and then the moment that you everyone gets dragged in and then you say something like [ __ ] her and they get back together and it gets back to like her that she that you say [ __ ] her or whatever it is and then they kick you out and it's like oh god I hate those toxic couples but then you got Venus you're like gh but Venus is awful and then you're like then you're like well but Natasha but then Natasha is awful like it's like you're going back and forth and that is the most Vanderpumpian quality that you could have just like a lazy Susan of awfulness that revolves around such low stake things that um I'm feeling very much at home.

4:40 Yeah. And one of the biggest worries was oh my god they don't work at the restaurant blah blah blah. You know people were saying that before but it looks like they do actually work there. I mean at least they have to work there to work. And they're showing a lot of the restaurant stuff which I really like. You know just working restaurant so much of my life. I really love seeing the pettiness in the restaurant and how everybody's turning against like one person at a time. It's just so fun.

5:02 Yeah. And it doesn't feel really as performative as I was afraid it would. I felt like they are generally like annoyed at each other and frustrated and they're like exploding with, you know, fury. So, I'm I that's why I'm like, this is great. And like it's just so stupid. I mean, this whole episode it's just, you know, they go rock climbing and Shane Davis is like, "Yeah, I got shot three times." It's like, what? It's like this is just funny. It's just not that getting shot funny. It's just the way it's like, "Yeah, man. I got shot." You're like this. It's it's it's I love this.

5:34 Like what? Um yeah. So we open up with everyone waking up because it was just Audrey's birthday party. So everybody's hung over and Audrey is like, "Whoever planned this surf photo shoot for the day after my birthday is diabolical. I'm going to get revenge on them by not using any moisturizer or hair product." And I'm hung over. I'm sweaty. But you know what? I just go into certain There's so many glamorous photos. Do they have flies on them? Yeah, but I mean it's sir, so I'm just like, "Oh my god, am I gonna be in the wallet, sir? Am I gonna be on the wallet, sir?"

6:08 She's saying that the photos on the wallet, sir, are glamorous is also hilarious. She's like seeing these like archival photos of like Jack and Katie and the whole cast from like 2012. She's like, "Wow, the golden age of Hollywood. I get to join the pantheon of great weight staff at sir. Now we have the um famous sir photo shoot but this time it's done in the restaurant with the managers there and nobody's naked or in like like kind of sexual um sexually creepy outfits which is super weird. I'm like what show is this?

6:46 Changedho is no weho now has black plastic bags floating along its streets. pump is closed. And now we have something called HR. You still don't know what it stands for, but it's very scary. Horses and rascals. Please report to the Hooers and Rascals department. So GMO's handing out shirts to people and they're getting the photo shoot set up and Kim's like, I need my skim so my waist looks snatched because the surf photo shoot is legendary.

7:21 Yeah. And we see a shot of Natalie holding grapes and then Audrey's holding a lobster. I'm like, is there a lobster at the menu at Sur? I don't think there is.

7:28 Yeah. Do they have lobster there? I don't know that I would trust them with lobster. Even though that's the cockroach of the sea. Isn't that what they call the lobster?

7:36 Lobsters are not cockroaches of the sea. Yeah, because they like crawl along the bottom and just eat all the trash and stuff.

7:42 What doesn't crawl along I mean, look, we're You know, I would say a crab would be more like a cockroach of the sea, but it's not that we're a shrimp. A shrimp would be not the lobster. The lobsters have a whole I mean, do they do they pee through their eyeballs? Yes. But are they the most beautiful little toddler crustaceians out there? Yes.

8:01 Um, I refuse. I reject. Lobster. Lobster. Cockroach of the sea is a historical term reflecting how these abundant bottom feeding crustaceans were once considered poverty food for the poor and prisoners in colonial America. It only became a luxury delicacy through railroads, canning, and culinary elevation. So there you go. They have similarities with cockroaches, like hard exoskeletons, and scavenging habits, leading to the derogatory nickname, but the term also applies to other abundant marine life like shrimp.

8:31 Thank you. See, you called it. See, you called it. Cuz there's so many things that crawl along the floor. That's why there's also so many fish that like hide in the sand and then like eat them, which is hilarious. Those are those are like

8:42 Yeah. Do you know what else was called a cockroach of the sea? Whales. Excuse me. That's I'm going to push back on that one. Come on.

8:49 Yeah, I'm going to push back. That's like That's like crazy. Who is Okay. What AI system are you using that's coming up with Who called a whale the cockroach? Whales aren't even fish.

8:59 Um, it's just like a tiny little site I'm using called Google. Okay. Okay. Who has Okay. All right. Let me You know who You know who wrote that as a shark. Sharks hate whales. You just, you know, that sharks hate whales cuz sharks are like, "We're the best." But then whales come along and like, "Sorry, we're kind of like bigger. We're like bigger and a little bit scarier and like some of us don't even eat other fish, but we're still somehow bigger than you." And they're like, "Fuck this. We're going to call them the cockroaches of the sea cuz they're ruining our space."

9:24 I'll tell you who wrote it. Ahab. Ahab wrote that [ __ ] The cockroach of the sea. My last word.

9:30 Dolphins. Dolphins did it to get at the whales. Um, that's crazy. I'm I'm horrified. Um, Natalie is like, "Wow, you know what? Like, I just wanted to be in a place where like you work where everybody's like, "Oh my god, so chic. So perfect." Literally, nobody says that about sir. I don't know where these people think they're working. Do no one does no one on this cast know how to look up a Yelp review because I I can tell you not one of them says that.

9:59 Yeah. Literally. Um, the words that are associated with sir are not chic and perfect. The words are like oversized enchiladas and um dry.

10:09 Please mop this restaurant. I I read that phrase. That was my review. I was like, it smells like bar rotat. Please clean this restaurant please.

10:18 Hello. Hello, everyone. I've arrived. I've arrived. I'm in casual magician form today. I'm wearing a blazer, but my shirt is open a few buttons. Sexy is back. I remember. Oh, it's so conservative now. I remember what it used to be when we first did it years ago. Nobody had any clothes on. And we do see pictures of clips from 11 years ago with the staff being naked and holding each other's boobs and stuff and Peter's wiener flopping around over there um in

10:49 Yes. grayed out a grade out wiener, which is weird because it actually looks like that now. Hey, how come we never see Peter? I know the rumor was that he he wasn't going to do this anymore because he wasn't getting paid, but was he here?

11:01 He was on this episode. Yeah, actually he did show up. Mhm. He was like, "Ho ho ho, this is sure different than it used to be, guys."

11:10 He didn't say anything. A child like Peter. He didn't say anything, but he was like helping Natasha or something at the bar. But um uh but now we see that times have changed cuz GMO is like, "Do you want to remove your shirt?" And Lisa goes, "I mean only if you feel comfortable. You definitely will not lose your job if you keep your shirt on. You will just merely work in the back room and not be on television, but only if it makes you comfortable to take.

11:37 All I care about is the comfortability of children that work for us. Please, please stay clothed. Girl, you've never hired somebody overweight at that place in your entire life. You only hire people, especially men, who will take off their shirt. Okay? People, everybody does not walk around with six-packs like that unless they're on your staff. I worked at an Applebee's and trust nobody looked like this.

12:02 No one asked us to take our clothes off. Talk about some apples. If you don't feel comfortable, please put your shirt back on. I don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable at all. But if you want to show your beautiful nipples and six-pack, I won't stop you. And Chris says, "Last night was a bad night to eat cake." as he shows off his eight pack. Shut up. Yeah. I hate when people do that.

12:29 Stop lying. Stop trying to like relate to the people that you ate a cake. You did not eat a cake.

12:34 You did not. I like when when hot people are like, "Do you know how hard it is to be hot? Do you know how traumatizing this is? I don't eat anything. I'm starving." That's what I need to hear from [clears throat] hot people. Hey,

12:47 shut up. Do you know it is necessary to keep evolving? You know, if it's a photo shoot, if it's different staff, I think that's been the secret to our longevity. That's why we keep our menu exactly the same. But now, now we have a new feature. It's small little bites that happen before the bigger bites. We call them appetizers. Yes. Evolution.

13:10 We weren't okay to stop with the goat cheese bowl. So 10 years ago, we came up with the goat cheese empanada. Sometimes we think about what's something that we would want on a deserted island and we call those desserts. Please enjoy. We weren't happy just to have a tuna. No. So we made it a tuna ta. So GMO is like when is Kim coming? I want Kim and I want Kim to sit in the chair. So Kim comes in and when she walks in, Marco's like, "Hey honey, how's it going honey?" She's like, "Hey honey." And everyone's like, "What? But they were just fighting for two episodes of this of the show. Why are they being nice to each other?"

13:56 And Natalie's standing right behind him going, "Oh, I mean, they are so weird. Like, why are they being so cute right now? Like, I'm going to throw up. Like, hi, honey. Hi." I mean, it's like a weird kink. Like, they literally get off on like screaming at each other. And Venus is like, "Um, I'm sorry, but are these [ __ ] like back the [ __ ] together?" Kim's like, "Um, full disclosure, Marcus and I got back together after the party last night." Yeah, if you know what I'm saying.

14:23 And he's like, "Me and Kimberly, yeah, we never had the conversation of like we're back together, but we just end up back together again." So, isn't that the beauty of being in a toxic relationship? Um, is it the beauty? So, now they're doing more photo shoots and everything and they're doing a light change and stuff and now Angelica, she's the new sir host as she arrives and he's like, "Oh, darling, look at you. Innocent and sweet, as pure as the driven snow. Come in here to be corrupted and ruined by my television show. Get in here, sweetheart. I didn't know if you were coming." Of course I'm coming.

15:02 Of course I am. I'm so glad to be here, Lisa. I was like, "Oh no, this girl's so positive." Do you think she's going to cry a lot?

15:13 Yes. She'll be destroyed. She'll be ground to a pulp. Oh, you look what you look great. I want you to come meet the staff and just sit in for a picture. Okay, GMO, get the banana peel ready. Okay, come on in.

15:25 So, she goes in, all the staff is sitting there in their ball gowns and uh looking right at her, and she comes in, she's like, "Hi." and then falls right on her face, like trips over a camera or something.

15:38 Oh, I had to hire Angelica right on the spot. She's gorgeous. She's lovable. She's flexible. She put her ankle behind her head right in the interview. Oh god.

15:50 She kind of did because we see a flashback to her interview and she's like, "Yeah, I did te taekwond do for about 10 years and I was a national champion. Do you want to see a move? I could probably do this." Yes. And she kicks like like a light bulb out of the ceiling or something like that. Oh yes. Taekwond do a skill set that's absolutely unnecessary and waiting and serving. You're hired. [clears throat] She has charm just oozing out of her paws. Oh god. That's not the only thing that's going to be oozing out of her after a couple of months at this place. Am I right? Get it.

16:25 Now remind me when you won your national championship in Taekwond do what was the part where you gathered menus and said right this way. Uh so she stands up and Lisa's like wow that was a good entrance. She's like I'm trying to lift my leg as high as I possibly can, but these heels are like so big. Okay, maybe my not my ideal first impression, but I feel like it really grounded me in a way.

16:56 Are you sure you're okay, Angelica? Did you hurt yourself? Do you need to see? Hey,

17:02 we are so involved now. We care. Please only take off your panties for this if you feel comfortable.

17:11 She goes, she goes, "Well, I don't think it really I don't think it really requires workers comp, so I think I'm okay." She's like, "Oh, good. I don't understand what that is. Workers don't get comps here. You have to pay for the fair.

17:23 Darling, yes. As I told you in your interview, workers are complimentary. You're here for the Instagram likes.

17:32 So, she says, "Oh, maybe I worked like maybe this worked in my favor because like now people are going to be like really nice to me, right? Cuz like who's going to be mean to the girl that just like ate shit?" I'm like literally all of them. They're like, "Oh, she's weak. We will destroy her."

17:45 Somewhere like an alarm just went off in Stacey's house. She's like, "Oh my god, stupid [ __ ] falling in." Sir, need to drive down there. Do not drive down there.

17:55 Yeah. When you hear a bell, it means a new server fell over in front of the team at Sir.

18:01 Every time you hear a bell ring, a new waitress just lost her vag. So, uh, Angelica is like, "Oh my god, what a great way to meet people. Am I right, guys?" And they're like, "Wow, you look so beautiful." And Josh goes, "Yeah, what an entrance. I almost wanted to catch her. [gasps] At which point Ronnie leapt through the TV was like, "You get out of here, you little [ __ ] He's mine."

18:25 Falling down. I just fell down off my couch like Help me, Josh. Help me. All right. Okay. Sit down there.

18:36 Now we'll get jealous of you. We don't like jealous people. So, Angelica, new girl who no one's ever met before and has no history, please take the center spot in this photograph. I know.

18:46 Move over. Move over, Kim. She literally made Kim move over so that the new girl could take the center spot. And I was like,

18:53 "Oh, look sexy and welcoming. Try it, Kim." Now, Kim, I know you don't understand the concept of welcoming, but what you do is you sort of smile, but yes, a smile. A smile. Okay, let me start from the beginning. A smile is when you take the edges of your lips and you move them upwards. You can do it, Kim. Try it, Kim. You're almost there. No, she can't smile. She doesn't know how to do it. Put her in the back.

19:17 Okay, guys. We've done the photo shoot and now we're going back to the uniform. Okay. I'm GMO. Smolder. Smolder. Yes. All right. Please, on your way out, as everybody passes me, please say I pledge allegiance to Nicolain. Okay. Very good. You can go. You can go. You can go. So, Chris and Audrey start to flirt. Chris is like, "Yeah, you were working." She's like, "Always working. I mean, you were pulling out all the moves." And then Jason's like, "Yeah, you were. If I if I had spoken first, I would have said you pulled out the moves, but he said it first. So, I'm just gonna say he you were

19:50 Yeah. Not all the moves though. Like, y'all pulled on me last night. Remember when you guys gave me strip tease last night, guys? Remember? Huh?

19:56 And then we just flash back to her getting the strip tease and be like, I loved it. So, she's like, "Yeah, Chris is like really different from the other guys I've dated. I mean, he has like a decade on me, okay? Like, that's 10 years because he has 10 years above when I was even born. Like a decade. So, he probably had one of those Blackberries that like you slide open and he thought it was like the coolest thing ever. And he just like vigorously typed on it like with his thumbs and he was like, "Yeah, like checking out girls through his phone." Okay, I hate to sound like the grandfather that I am, but those were called T-Mobile sidekicks. How dare you?

20:36 I know. Thank you. And I had one and it was amazing. Yeah, he he probably had like a crank on his cell phone just to power it, right? So, Venus is like, "Guys, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Sorry." In the middle of this conversation, I need to check my emails. That's right. I get him on my phone. You guys, it's time to renew my AOL account. Excuse me. I can do that right on my phone. Sorry, what were you saying?

21:01 So, uh, Venus is like, "Hey, Marcus, can I talk to you for a second?" He's like, "Yeah, what's on your mind?" Well, just about last night. It's just like a recap of what a typical night is and then today like making out in the [ __ ] photo. Like, so what changed between last night and today? He's like, um, we made up last night. There wasn't a lot of talking. I mean, lips were moving if you know what I'm saying. What I'm trying to say is I put my penis in her vagina. Are you following any of this? Come on, Venus. Keep up. And Venus is falling into that trap as the gay friend who gets mad when people get back together. And I know that sounds random, but that is a thing because gay guys are always trapped, right? Like especially when you're friends with both. And I think this is a general trap for people, but I think gay people fall more in this trap because we don't have as many people to date. So when especially when

21:49 you're younger and immature, and it's like, okay, well, so we're friends. I'm going to listen to all your [ __ ] but now you're back together with him and now I don't get to spend any time with you. It's

21:58 I don't know. I'm sure it's like an everybody thing, but I just recognize that as like being the only gay guy at work. Like, what the [ __ ] man? Like, everyone else has people to talk. Like, I'm the one who always has to listen to this [ __ ] but I think it's extremely immature and it's so weird to be mad at people for getting back together. What do you think?

22:15 It um I think it's great to get mad at people for getting back together if they're toxic. Well, no, but like from out from where we sit. I think what I think like when you're young, you don't realize that you just have to let people just fall into their own [ __ ] you know, and you feel like you can actually change things. And what what happens is is as a gay, you're often put in the sidekick position where when travesties happen like a breakup, you know, especially the like it's usually usually it's the it's the girl because of, you know, just guys are scared of gay people a lot, but like these days things are modern, so that's nice to see. But usually agree with you know.

22:57 Yeah. But like usually it's like someone comes to us as the gay person who's like, "Oh my god, like you would not even believe he's just so awful. He's so mean. He doesn't even consider me." and they they tell you all these things and then you you want to help your friend and you have a vision for your friend and that vision is look I love you both you're toxic together you need to start doing your own separate things and you can just move on and then we can all be happy and you start you have this plan it's going to be amazing and then you invest all this time and hours on the phone and you're hugging and the crying and you're dealing with it and like that's time you could be on Grinder that's time you could be doing anything else and instead you're doing this and then after you put in all that effort and you've you have a plan you've got the bullet points. You know what? Step one, step two, step phase one, phase

23:38 three. They just get back together. No, but what about all that work? What about all that? And you get so annoyed and you're like, "What the [ __ ] What the [ __ ] We had a plan. We had a dream. We we saw what the future was going to be like."

23:50 Yeah. He's like, "I taught you about the secret. Like, I taught you about manifesting. How could you?"

23:55 Yeah. Um but yeah, he's like too far. And the thing isn't it's her fault for being It's not their fault. Look, it is their fault for being toxic. But what I'm saying is in this situation to me, it's not the problem that they're a toxic relationship and that you spent all this time listening to it.

24:10 The problem is you spending all the time listening to it. And that's the change that needs to be made. You're you're not the We don't have to be in that position where we're like the sidekick listening to everybody's drama all the time. I think we kind of put ourselves in that position and it's time to just not be that person because this is ridiculous. Like actually fighting with someone because they got back together and they're happy is crazy to me. Like I think he's coming off as completely crazy now. I wouldn't want to listen to their horseshit either, but I just wouldn't listen to it rather than root for them to break up all the time.

24:41 Well, I don't know if they got back together and are happy. They're just saying that they're happy because they're two broken individuals. So Venus is like, yeah, their relationship is like one of the most toxic relationships I've ever seen in my entire life, which is why I like to embed myself entirely into their into their into their duo. That's why we're a trio, cuz I like to be around toxic people. And it's extremely offensive to me that my night at Audrey's birthday, I'm holding Kim crying, comforting her, which is what I've done a million [ __ ] times since they started dating, and then the next day like nothing [ __ ] happened. I mean, yeah, but that's an interesting memory of the history because you were spending that you were spending that birthday trying to get Marcus to go in stand up for Natalie, actually, as I recall.

25:23 So, um, yeah, I don't know. you're remembering this in a funny way, but he's very pissed off and he's like, "You put me in a position." He's got like the la lips. I think he's going for like the new la of this cast

25:35 and it's working. Cuz he's even got like the lips and stuff. And so Marcus is like, "I didn't put you in any position when you say things in front." And she's like, "Yes, you did. Yes, you did. I was up till 3:00 a.m. last night. Okay. Okay. I could have been that time concentrating on a parking space for today, but instead I was working with you and your girlfriend." And he's like, "Nothing to do with me." He goes, "Yeah, I was dealing with [ __ ] because of the drama that you're always in." And then like the next day you and Kim, like nothing happened. It's like so convenient for you when everyone else is affected by it. He's like, "Well, good.

26:07 Good for us. It has nothing to do with you. So stop getting involved with [ __ ] that ain't got nothing to do with you." Which he's right. I mean, ultimately, if you're angry at Kim for going back over and over and over again to a guy who's toxic, you got to look inward and say, "Why am I going back to this couple that's toxic over and over and over again and getting myself embroiled in their situation? Just let her cry on the curb like everyone else and enjoy a bacon wrapped hot dog."

26:29 Exact. So, he's like, "Yeah, um, so quit involving everyone by doing it in front of everybody." And he's like, "Well, I didn't involve you. You were trying to be involved last night and I didn't say a single word to you." And that's true because he was running around trying to be involved on everybody's side like, "Well, now I need to have a talk with you and now I need to have a talk with you and now I need to have a talk with you."

26:49 So stop doing that. Okay, Mark. But then at the same time, let's not let the toxic couple off the hook because we've seen two episodes of what you say. They're awful. And you see Natalie being like,

27:00 she's like, "Gh, you know what? This is what he deserves. He he deserves to get suspended. It's like how many times I have to tell him, right, guys?" And she's sitting there talking everyone's ear off like they've heard it a million times from her like no one cares. And she's going around asking for advice, asking for help, crying at the party. This is what he does to me. This is what he always does to me. I'm just like, can you believe he did that to me? And oh my god, he just said he's falling out of love with me and now like he's like not falling out of love with me. Like Natalie, can you believe it? And he's going around being like, I just can't even deal with it. Like I'm falling like they bo they pollute the entire party with their [ __ ]

27:31 That's true. And then they act surprised that people want to weigh in or have opinions about it.

27:35 Yeah, that's true. That's true, too. And Kim is not only toxic in that relationship, she's just toxic in general. I mean, she's toxic with everybody. Like, she doesn't know Natalie, so she's going to go poison the new girl against Natalie. And she doesn't like him now, so she's going to do what she does to him. I mean, she's just kind of gross, you know?

27:52 I agree in general. But I guess this specific thing, I'm just saying like stop involving yourself with crazy people and then getting mad that they're crazy, you know?

28:00 Absolutely. Lazy Susan. Lazy Susan of awfulness has it's like I'm talking to myself watching this show, right? I'm like, "What are you getting so mad about? You're watching this on purpose, you know?" Yeah. And it is it is that because I love the toxicity. Like I love to I'm never going to yell at somebody for being toxic. I'll be like, "Why didn't you call me when you were in a toxic mood?"

28:20 Well, on the on the on the topic of inserting yourself, here comes Natalie while Venus and Marcus are bickering. And Natalie's like, "Um, I think I need to step in here because the whole root of the problem is that he said she said between you and I and then you walked away last night." And Mark is like, "Uh, I'm not gonna have the same conversation a 100 times." No, but we never even talked about it cuz our conversations have been like we're like good friends. Like for me, like you've been like my good friend and like Kimberly is my good friend and Demi like she's my good friend and Venus is like my good friend and I would like to leave it at that but like no one else does.

28:50 He's like uh yeah, not my problem. But also that's not what they're talking about. So stop trying to make everything about you too, airs sucker. It's like, yeah, but like you need to say to your girlfriend and Demi like Natalie is my friend and that's what I need from you. Like everybody needs to know that cuz like I'm a friend, right? Right, guys? Right. Like I'm a friend. Everybody knows that.

29:09 Uh yeah. Uh I'm always going to have Kimberly's side, especially when I say I'm falling out of love with her and I can't stand her [ __ ] face and I need to like need to have some space and break up with her. I'm always going to have her [ __ ] side.

29:19 Yeah. And you should though. But you should though. Okay. Okay. And then Kim's like, "Okay, now I need to step in, too, cuz I want to clarify things."

29:27 This is when I was just cracking up. I was like, "See, this show is actually like I was like, "This show is good." Cuz they are now all latching themselves onto this. Like each one of them, it's like it's like a it's gravitational pull. They just all add on to the stupid argument.

29:40 Yeah. And she's like, "Well, I want to clarify cuz I think things are getting misconstrued cuz I felt like if there was a boundary crossed for me personally with the way that you were texting him." Okay, Natalie. So, that's it. She's like, Are you kidding me? Cuz like, didn't we have to solve the problems that we were having last night? Cuz like I thought we did. And so we see how last night like Kim was crying in Natalie's arms and and everything and Natalie was there like consoling her. And Natalie then's like, "You know, all that's changed in the last 16 hours is that Kim and Marcus Kim and Marcus are like back together again.

30:12 That's the only thing that's changed." I'm like, "Well, that's a pretty big thing that changed." And Kim says, "In that moment, I didn't know who to turn to and she was there." And I think that that that's what it was for me. Like rather than me missing her as a friend, I was like, "Oh, so you're a shitty person.

30:24 You're just a shitty shitty person. You're just a shitty garbage person." Yeah. She's like, "I was just using her, so what's the big deal?"

30:29 Yeah. Yeah. I never said she was off the hook. I just like needed a vessel to pour my tears into and she was there. But like I hate her still.

30:37 Oh yeah. Okay. So then Marcus and Demi can hang out and go one-on-one to and go to lunch and that's okay. And Kim goes, "Yeah, cuz they're like a different kind of friend." Take that. And so so then um Natalie and Demi see them from like arguing. Not N not Tally and Demi. So Demi sees it. And so now Demiy's gonna come over and Natalie's like, "Uh, I don't know if we I I I think we should be finishing the photo shoot." Like, and Demiy's like, "No, I've got something to say." So Demi walks over to this fight now. She's like, "You guys, Natalie wants to finish the photo shoot, and I keep hearing my name." It's like her name was said once, but she's like, "I keep hearing my name." And I'm like, "I'm already bored with this." Okay. So, like, who wants to fight with me now?

31:16 Yeah, but all I've said is that you're my friend. It's like, um, I don't want to hear you say my name today. So, just like don't say it. Even if you're saying it like in a good way, like I do not want to hear it. Like, I'm so sick.

31:27 But, what's your problem? Like the sound of your voice. That's my problem. Like, after last night, like your voice. Ouch.

31:34 Why are you being so rude? Cuz I feel like it. Cuz I feel like it. What about that? I'm the assistant manager. Married ketchup. I said it. Cuz I feel like it. I'm I'm like hungry.

31:43 Don't be a [ __ ] Don't be a [ __ ] Okay, how about you don't be a [ __ ] Finish a photo shoot. So maybe you shouldn't tell me not to be a [ __ ] at work cuz like I'm a boss. Okay,

31:51 I can't apologize anymore. You're [ __ ] all the time, Demi. Maybe you should. Maybe you should stop though. Maybe you should.

31:59 Okay, you know what? I was [ __ ] for one night. Sorry. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Now wait a second. I know what you're doing right now, but stop it. Stop it. We've got a photo shoot. Please stop creating drama on this highly rated dramatic television show. Please go ahead. Do it without your shirts on if you're comfortable.

32:27 Do you need to take a break, Natalie? Maybe speak to HR hooligans and rascals. Well, I'm trying to be professional. She's not making it easy, Lisa. cuz like she needs to leave me alone cuz like I'm literally shaking right now.

32:43 Darling, Ken has been literally shaking for 25 years. He still managed to carry the dog across the restaurant on quue. So please get back to work.

32:52 She needs to like leave me alone, Lisa, for at least like one day. Just like leave me alone.

32:57 Oh, I'll talk to you tomorrow about it today. The harassment continues tomorrow. We'll deal with it.

33:03 I'm so tired of being treated like [ __ ] by my friends. Says Natalie complaining in the background. She's just going off about She got herself angry about a fight that she wasn't even in.

33:13 Yeah. So, now we go to a rock climbing place and Shane goes up to the front desk and he's like, "Hey, can I some shoes off you guys? I'm Shane Davis. Shane Davis. You have my name written down somewhere? You will soon." Hey, can I just tell you I've got beautiful eyes?

33:30 We forgot. We didn't notice that he said that last week. He when he was flirting with a girl. I guess Natalie's like, "Hey, just have to tell you I've got beautiful eyes." So Natalie Natalie shows up and she's like, "Oh my god, Shane Davis, are you trying to kill me? This is crazy. Rock climbing

33:51 and he's doing it without the ropes." He's like, "Yeah, just rock climbing without the ropes." Yeah, I'm Shane Davis. That's pretty much how I roll. Danger. I'm no stranger to danger. Okay. He's like, "Yeah, I'm here. Yeah, I'm like pretty used to like rock climbing. I met Natalie a month ago. And like the fieriness to her, it's like very intriguing to me. So, she's like, "Sorry we got off on the wrong foot when I told you that I didn't like you coming to to my workplace with another girl and you did it anyway." She goes, "But at the same time, like I feel connection. It's like undeniable. Like, we're both cute. We're both single.

34:29 We're both like a little bit [ __ ] up. I mean, geez. I guess we're gonna rock climb. That sounds like hell.

34:39 We're both [ __ ] up. Let's climb some rocks, man. So, um, that he gets like in the harness and everything. And he's like, "Hey, you got my phone? I'm going to take some sweet photos when I get to the top of this wall."

34:54 And she's not into rock climbing at all, obviously. And he's like, "Well, I think rock climbing is like the perfect date for me cuz she's like getting a sneak peek in my lifestyle cuz when I'm out modeling, I'm a personal trainer." So, I'm like very active. Like, I climb things and that's just it. Like, you want to join my life of climbing stuff? Great. If not, say sucker. Shane Davis.

35:17 Look at this very intense look into the inner workings, the inner life of Shane Davis as he climbs a rock. Natalie, [clears throat]

35:24 I like guys who are like, not only am I gorgeous, I work out a lot. Get used to it.

35:32 And Natalie's like, um, she does not want to do this, but she's like, "Come on, Shane. Just help me help you get me naked somewhere. Do we have to do this?" So, they start climbing and she's like, "Um, my nails are too long for this. I just realized." And the employee's like, "Yeah, that's Yeah, you shouldn't have done You shouldn't have come here today." But you're killing it, man. You know, my friends would probably describe me as a player with a heart of gold and I'm honest and I'm caring and like I'm compassionate, but if and if I feel nurtured and cared for and I feel safe, that's like crack to me, man.

36:04 Yeah, crack. Safety. Safety is crack, guys. Emotional safety. Yeah, I'm an evolved guy, but I also work out a lot and I'm a model. Shane Davis. H. And so then uh Natalie they Natalie he takes a picture of her and she goes up and then she's like, "Oh my god, coming down was scary." He's like, "Yeah, I want to do this black one." Okay, I'm gonna do it. Okay, take a picture of me when I get to the top, man. Okay, take a photo of me and my my most vulnerable state of this rock wall.

36:32 Okay, well, I'm going to have to use your phone cuz I don't know where my phone is. He's like, "Okay, don't go snooping around, though." She goes, "Yeah, is it like screenshots of my Instagram?" Maybe. So, um, she's like, "I do like Shane a lot, and I feel like it's this really could go somewhere like literally to the top of a wall, and he literally is like the epitome of my physical type, but I also don't want to make the same mistake that I made before of just like jumping into a relationship when I've only been single for a few months. Like, I'm a crazy [ __ ] That's me."

37:05 So, they rock climb and stuff and um he's like, "Uh, yeah, you know that uh you got to get one." Yeah, I'm posing. I'm posing for the camera.

37:15 He like makes it he flexes. Yeah, he flexes his arm at the top of the wall. She's like, "Wow, that's so that's so vulnerable." He goes, "Yeah, it was vulnerable." Yeah,

37:24 they literally say that. He flexed his arm at the top of a rock wall. She goes, "That was so vulnerable of you. That was so vulnerable."

37:32 He's like, "You want to hit one? You want to hit one more? You want to like chill for a bit? Like, let's let's take a little breather. Let's let's get deep together." Okay. Okay, I don't know if I've told you this, but like deep in my heart, I'm a person who works out. Hope that's okay for you. It's like a dealbreaker for me.

37:48 Well, guess what? Now that you're back down on the floor, here's your phone back. And that was like really special. I gave you your my, you know, your phone back because

37:55 I had back surgery once. He's like, "Oh, yeah. I saw it." What I mean, no, tell me about it. He literally says, "I saw it. I saw your back."

38:04 I guess he did mean he went through her Instagram. She's like, "Yeah, I love your I love your back surgery stories. Those are like so real."

38:11 And she's she tells us that she had scoliosis as a kid, so she had to wear a back brace. I mean, hi, nice to meet you. I'm Natalie. My smile was like this. Not the cutest luck. Okay, but you know, and he goes, "Well, you probably developed a lot of perseverance from that shit." She's like, "Yeah, especially because they like make you stand up and walk the very next day." Okay, so my spine is like still not straight like like they can wait. Can I see it? And so she's like, "Yeah, look look. They can only do so much. Like look at this. Look at my spine. It like protrudes." He's like, "Wow, man. That's awesome."

38:46 She's like, "Yeah, I look like dainty, but I have like 24 screws in my back." And like it's like not my favorite thing about myself, but it is what it is. I'm just like used to it. And if I'm ever cremated, someone needs to warn them cuz they're going to take me out. It's going to be like a lot of hardware. But there's like 24 people that can have a piece of me when I'm no longer here. And I think that's like actually very beautiful

39:07 guys. There could be like 24 people in this world who'll be able to like use my screws. And that's just like a beautiful thing to be able to get back that way.

39:14 I just love the idea of different family members walking around like every time I look at this screw, I think of Natalie. I miss you, girl. I miss you, girl. So then Shane is going to now one up her. He's like, "Yeah, I broke my back, too, man. Like when I was like 19 years old, I got shot three times and one of the bullets blew out the left lung and it just like popped out right here. Right where my beautiful pec is. Yeah, check that out. You want to know why? You know why I did that? Because you know my best friend, he shot me. Cuz I got this modeling contract.

39:45 You know the classic get a modeling contract, get shot three times because of it. You know how it goes. Oldest story in the book. Wait, so this story, so I get a modeling contract. I tell my buddies I'm about to move and my best friend hits me up and he's like, "I need your help." So my best friend in me got into a fight with a group of guys. So it's like, "So your best friend didn't shoot you or did he shoot you? Was he trying to shoot the other guys and he shot Shane instead?"

40:10 Yes, I think so. Cuz he says he got stabbed and I tried to tackle the guy and stab him and then the same time like he just went like this. He was like, "And I got shot, which is why I put some band-aid tattoos on my body."

40:24 Jeez. He's like, "I was paralyzed, but I learned how to walk in three months." That's right. And I walked back into that modeling agency and I said, "Hey, [ __ ] You still want to take me?" And they were like, "God, you're gorgeous. Do you work out?" And I was like, "Yeah, I do." And they're like, "We're compatible." And that was my most vulnerable moment with casting directors. I [ __ ] them all. I [ __ ] all of the casting directors. Then I shot them all over the face.

40:50 His story is, "Yeah, man. I got shot. I was paralyzed. I rehabbed myself back and I was still hot. Still got it, man.

40:58 I'm still [ __ ] hot. Calvin Klein flew me out to Milan. I didn't even know how to pronounce it. I called it Mulan. God, I wanted to be in that movie so bad."

41:08 You know, the other guys can be like, "Uh, live action Mulan. If you guys want to do a sequel for it, I I could probably be someone in it." I mean, now goes tangled, but I'll take any role.

41:17 Yeah. And so, I got band-aid tattoos all over the entry and exit wounds just because I don't want to take my life super serious. It did hurt getting one over my butthole, but technically that is an exit wound, so I let him do it.

41:30 I don't want to look at like I'm a victim. I mean, you were shot three times. You were literally a victim.

41:36 You were literally a victim. So, it's okay if you We'll allow you to have that one. It's okay. You don't have to be that defensive about it. Um he's like I don't want to look at life like I'm a victim. Although I will use it to get a girl in bed.

41:49 He's like yeah sometimes using the gunshot wounds is a lure. Like I know she can't help on a primal level but like she's a little turns on. Yeah I've been shot three times. It works every [ __ ] time.

42:02 What? That's a that is you know it's such a it's actually a very scary story but it's also such a stupid story. It's like your friend like what are you first of all are you in like Westside Story? you like signed a modeling contract and your friend's like, "Wait a second. I got I've got to help me out. I'm going to get into a fight." So, he goes to like a knife fight, but then there's guns. Like, where was what are you doing? And if you're in the middle about to you just signed a modeling contract, why are you going to go like step into a street fight somewhere? It just was so wild. And

42:30 all these models like meeting up and group getting into group fights with guns and knives. Like, do models do that? I would think that if you're all because I'm I'm imagining that they're fighting other models, right? 100%, you know, and they're like, "Yeah, we got a gun. I got a gun. I'm a model with the gun." Then they started fighting over like Calvin Klein Klein contracts and then it turns into a Well, it's just a crazy story. What the hell? You would think if you were models, you'd be fighting with like foam swords, you know what I mean? Because you don't want to hurt your faces.

42:58 It's like the battle of like Willamina versus Ford. It's like it's I I just love the idea of this. Like I mean I'm sure it was like not a model fight, but I'm like with you. All I do is I just imagine a bunch of models like having some sort of like catwalk moment and that's like that's like their fight.

43:19 Yeah, it's crazy. So then we go to Sir and um there's Peter. He's helping Chris muddle. He's like, "This is how you muddle, son." Okay. Can you explain to me what green gpacho is cuz like I don't get it. And Natalie's like, "Um, haven't you ever heard of fried green tomatoes?" And he goes, "Yeah, I mean, have you seen the movie Fried Green Tomatoes?" And she's like, "No." He's like, "Yeah, well, the boyfriend gets run over by a train, so spoiler alert." Anyways,

43:48 and then um Marcus is uh checking with Kim about some asparagus. Um actually, it's at their apartment. They're checking about asparagus and he's like, "I got to be honest, when we're not fighting, it's like perfect. You know what I mean? It's like we're so loving there's like no red flags. Like I love you." I'm like, that's a big qualification. When we're not fighting, there's no red flags. I'm like, but when you are fighting, that's isn't that the red flag? Like, I don't think you can just cut out the fighting and be like everything like you know, our relationship is great except for the fact when we're fighting and we are breaking up all the time, but when we're not, like that's that's really a wonderful relationship. I'm like, but you can't that's that's too important.

44:28 Can't do that. Yeah. Um, so um is this what he was telling Natalie? That's what he was telling Natalie at home like cross cutting between them at home and then at sir and everything and then Venus is Ben Venus is serving a table

44:44 after he uh has given the download about Fried Green Tomatoes which Fried Green Tomatoes must feel like you know a Buster Keaton movie to these kids. Like what?

44:52 No kidding. But also I'm surprised Natalie hasn't watched it because she's a total Towanda. Isn't that her name?

44:57 Towanda. when Kathy Bates like finally gets mad and like crashes into the sexy girl's car who bullied her in the parking lot and SHE'S LIKE, "I'M TOWANDA." AND GOES CRAZY AND she's like, "I'm I'm going to sue you." And she goes, "Oh, honey, you may be young, but I'm old and I've got insurance." It's a classic moment. Yeah. What a good movie. So, um, Venus is like he's serving a table, but he checks his phone and there's a text from Marcus. So, then he texts Marcus. He texts Marcus back and Venus is like, "Hey Natalie, when you have two seconds, will you come with me? I so I can show you some dumb shit."

45:34 She's like, "Oh, absolutely, Serge. Don't do I didn't take it. Do it." Okay. So, they go to the back. He's like, "I want to show you this text message from Marcus." Okay, [ __ ] Look at this. Look what he wrote. Okay. So, Marcus wrote a text message that said, "Hey, dude. I've just seen a side of you that I really want nothing to do with and I can't respect it and I don't want to be fake and act like we're cool so no need to pretend like we are. Oh my god.

45:59 Yeah. And I just like sat there for like two seconds to type this response. I was like, Marcus, you literally look like a dumbass and so does Kim. And I'm behaving out of retaliation towards your stupidity and the fact that you and Kim don't give a [ __ ] about anyone but yourselves and I don't want to hear about your clown ass relationship from you or Kim. Y'all just look stupid as [ __ ] There, I said it.

46:20 I personally feel so betrayed because I have held Kim when she cried a million times. And then we see a flashback of like him doing that.

46:29 Yeah. Kim being like Marcus is like so typical Marcus like you need to be active about this cuz this behavior will age you girl. [clears throat] So uh he's like yeah I've been there a million times. And then we see a flashback to him being there for Marcus. And Marcos is like, "I'm going home after what I've done and I'm going to get ruined by Kimberly for defending Natalie." He's like, "Okay, I get it. I know. I know, bro." So, back in the present, he's like, "Yeah." And so, for the first time, I'm like fed up and I'm like, "Fuck this [ __ ] I'm like [ __ ] done." And like, you push me to my [ __ ] limit and then you're going to make me out to be the bad guy. You haven't even seen me piss yet. Oh, you haven't even seen it.

47:07 And Natalie is like, "This is crazy cuz you're just giving your honest opinion." So now we go back over to the Kim and Marcus um at their apartment looking at, you know, asparagus. And Kim is like,

47:20 this tiny little apartment kitchen and Kim is holding like a knife as big as the kitchen just waving it around.

47:26 I know. And they're like strangely like they're they're a living room that just has like a white like decrepit sofa in it and nothing on the walls. And she's like, "The thing that he said in those texts are unforgivable. He's obviously harbored these feelings and just now feels like it's an opportunity to say it because like you just don't feel those things overnight." Like he's been feeling them for a long time. He's like, "Yeah, and like he's coming at a relationship." He said, "You and Kimberly are a joke. Can you even believe that?" Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah. And I can't believe he was like talking about you like that. Like calling you a joke. I mean, what the She's like, "Yeah, it's so hurtful." And so he says that he takes accountability that he texted Venus first. But when he sent me back like what he sent me back like now that's starting a problem.

48:10 No, you texted him and said you're not friends anymore. So you started it, sir. But this guy has like this guy has had to receive all your like all all your drama and he's tried to support you both and tried to help you both and now like the moment you guys get together you're just like oh actually I don't think we're friends anymore because I didn't like that you were frustrated by us so by you're not our friends and so he writes back obviously a very catty text which wasn't great but like Marcus you started this. Marcus literally started this. You can't be like I admit I did write the first text but his text was worse so he really started it. No,

48:44 but you know what? It's really hard for me to be on Venus's side cuz I really don't like Venus going up to women and being like, "Bitch, bitch." And like acting like he's going to beat up a woman and calling her [ __ ] Like,

48:55 listen, I mean, there is like gay slang like [ __ ] And Lord knows on this show or, you know, we say [ __ ] It's not like you can never say the word [ __ ] but like going after women and calling them [ __ ] and acting like you're going to get in a fight is just a horrible look. And he does it all the time. and it's gross. And so I can't be on his side because he just seems like

49:18 gross to me. So I won't be on his side for right now. So I'm not going to be on Kim's side or Marcus' side either. But it puts me in a conundrum. But then again, this is Vanderpump rules and so I'm just going to not be on anybody's side. But for right now, Venus is grossing me out the most in this situation.

49:33 So Kim is like, "Me and Marcus are used to people judging our relationship. And at Sir, everyone just knows everything. And it's the fact that it's Venus who's been our ride or die, who's seen us in our most vulnerable, painful moments. That is what makes it hurt the most. I'm like, you kicked him out. You kicked him out first. He was like, he was trying to give you like, yes, I know everything that you're saying, but these two are so toxic, and I cannot stand a toxic couple that like is so toxic and draws everyone into their [ __ ] And then the moment they get back together, they declare that they're actually like in a great place. and anyone who dare even question them or try to like even say, "Hey, this is not good." They're the ones who are like the like the shitty people and I cannot stand and Kim is so this person that does this

50:16 that like to me I'm like gh I don't want to hear it from you ma'am. Well Marcus too. I mean Marcus just last night was like I'm falling out of love with her because she keeps treating me like this and like how could she do this when my parents died? I mean he pulls out the biggest guns against her. She's like she's coming after me like this after my parents died you guys. I mean, he's making her look like the worst in the world and then he's like, "What? I love her.

50:37 What? Why?" So, now back at the back alley, Venus is like, "I have been in the middle of their relationship since the beginning, and I have been a crutch for both of them this entire [ __ ] time."

50:49 Yeah, but like crutches don't complain. You know what I mean? Stop being a crutch. And I tell crutches the same thing. I'm like, "Don't complain. You're a crutch." Okay. So Natalie So Natalie's like, "Well, that's why it doesn't work because like if you don't want him like what he if you don't if you don't tell him what he wants to hear, then and if he doesn't want to hear that, then you're not like his friend." And like with her, I mean, she changes every day. So like there's like nothing you can do.

51:12 And she's like, Kim is back at home. It's like at the end of the day, you get nothing for nothing. And Natalie's going to [ __ ] him over and she's not going to have anyone and he's not going to have anyone to go to cuz we're going to be gone now. It's like, oh my god, you guys, this is so ridiculous. Why don't you just call Venus and be like, "Hey, I know you're mad. I know it's weird that we talk your head off and then we get back together, but I hope you can support us. I'll try to stop talking less [ __ ] but you know, still love you.

51:39 Sorry you're I mean something." But they're like, "No, let's declare allout war on Venus."

51:45 So now Venus is uh Venus has something very important to say. He goes, "I've never been more done in my life. I swear on my I swear on my poodle. It's official. The poodle has been sworn on.

52:03 Okay, so now it's getting ready time and it's the daytime shift and Dei is uh working with uh she's just over there working. So she's basically like you're going to be training Angelica the new girl denied. Okay. And Kim's like a great new girls. Ew disgusting. Better not come near my man. They're like, "Be nice. Be nice." She goes, "You're telling me to be nice? I'm the nicest." He's like, "Do as I say, not as I do."

52:34 So comes and she's like, "Hi, can't wait to work with you." And Dei is like, "Okay, you're training with Kim. You can stop smiling in my face. Please stop the muppet smiles in my face." Okay. So, she's talking to Kim and Kim's like, "So, have you used Open Table before?" She goes, "Yeah, like it's a server." She goes, "Okay, so you kind of know it a little bit." Well, yeah, cuz I've used it. Yeah. Well, okay. Well, I'll figure it out. She's like, "Well, I mean, this looks foreign to me, but like I don't feel like it should be too difficult." She goes, "Yeah, it's really not at all. Let's focus on open table." All right.

53:08 Why did you just like kick the open table display? She's like, "Oh, Sarah, just like taekwond do." And mom's like creeps up. My bad. You know, I've been the new girl so many times growing up. My dad was in the Navy, so I've been in like 13 grade schools and like three middle schools and three high schools. And I have a psychobiology degree from UCLA, which is technically neuroscience. And I was a scholar, but I couldn't pay rent. So then I started serving and I prioritized other hobbies like boys. Who needs education when there are boys?

53:40 Um, that was a lot. Neuroscience and a scholar, but now she's working at SIR. So

53:47 yeah, did she did she finish the other stuff? I don't know. I don't believe it since Raquel's whole I'm here I'm only I'm only on this earth to help disabled children. And then like five minutes later was like I'm an influencer now. [ __ ] the disabled children. So I don't trust anybody. And Raquel you

54:03 she'll be corrupted. She'll be corrupted soon enough. So Kim's like, "So what about the photo shoot? Did you like it?" And she's like, "Yeah, everyone seems really nice, but like there was a lot of tension." She goes, "Yeah, you did walk into tension." And Kim's like, "Uh, all I know is that like Venus and Marcus were having a conversation and Natalie answered it herself." And then I had to answer it myself. And then Dei came in to answer it herself. And then Lisa came in and told us to stop answering stuff. And we were like, "Stop calling us if you don't want us to answer stuff." And then De was like, "Yeah, I'm going to answer."

54:34 And then I was like, "I'm going to answer." And Natalie was like, "I'm gonna answer." So it was a lot. It was a lot.

54:40 Wait a second. Um, who's Natalie again? Oh, yeah. Natalie is she's the one who is up your ass, unlike me. And three days earlier, we see that Natalie is being really nice to her. She's like, "By the way, if you need a second look, this will cup the boobs. Check it out." And Angelica's like, "Oh, nice." Cuz they're all going to try to recruit um Angelica to be on their side now.

54:59 Yeah. Well, Kim didn't. Kim was just like rude to her, but now she's like, "Yeah, she was up your ass when she was nice to you on your first date. What a bee." And Angela's like, "Well, she was really nice, though." Oh, she goes, "Oh, yeah. Yeah, really nice." And then she's crazy.

55:16 Well, she seemed like a girl's girl, which is, you know, I like that. Not a girl's girl. Not a girl's girl. No, that's a girl's girl, Audrey.

55:26 We cut to Audrey just like flipping her hair, just looking like nice. She's like, I'm a girl, but whatever.

55:32 So, yeah, this is Kim just being nasty. She's got to be nasty in every scene. this scene, she's just going to turn the new girl against Natalie for literally no reason because Natalie said that she was friends with her boyfriend. That's all that that's all that that happened. That's that's it. So now, um Venus is talking to Demi about like, "Oh, am I at the bar?" And Demiy's like, "Yeah, I might move you." And he's like, "I'd rather just stay." He's like, "Well, okay, that's fine. I'm just very emotional today." Really? Like you look like you're about to cry. I know. I'm trying not I'm just thinking about my poodle at home. was trying not to cry.

56:07 Okay. Well, what what what happened? So, he tells us that that um after he got the text message from Marcus um that that was the end of their friendship and he responded by being like, "You're the biggest piece of shit." Marcus and Kim retaliated against him by going and telling everyone at sir one by one all the [ __ ] that he's talked about all those people.

56:27 Well, that's just funny though. I started cracking up and he's crying. He's like, "And guess what? I can do the same thing because he's supposed to be my best friend and you talk [ __ ] about people with your best friend, but I'm not tacky as [ __ ] so I'm not gonna do it. And you know, he's talked some vile stuff to this Venus. Oh my gosh. And he's like, "So now I'm getting like all these like random texts from people like talking [ __ ] to me." And we see a text from Gabby, this girl named Gabby who we haven't met yet. And she's like, "Venus, you're so low class. I'm glad you showed your hand. I've had more respect than to talk [ __ ] about you behind your back.

56:59 And there's more integrity in saying it directly to you." you and he's like, "I don't even know what this is about. I've said so much about Gabby. Like, what do I even admit to? [ __ ] her."

57:08 Yeah. He like doesn't know what he what he has to address. And he's like, "This [clears throat] Gabby girl that works at Sir, she is someone who's always trying to kiss Kim's ass." And Marcus and Kim telling her the things that I have said in private has made her lash out to me by sending me a text message telling me that I'm a low class and I'm a terrible friend because I'm throwing them under the bus. I'm like, "You did talk about Gabby. Say it again. Yeah. He talks about what you get. That's what you get. And so Jim, he's like, "Um, okay. Well, we can talk about this later because like we're at work right now and you can't be upset." And he's like, "But I'm already upset. I'm [ __ ] pissed." I go, "Okay, but like you're going to be more upset if we talk about it. So just like it's happy hour, so like be happy. We have to run a restaurant. All right. Don't get upset. I love you." And he's like,

57:54 "Whatever. Whatever. Fine. I'll just work there." kind of like goes off storing off into the restaurant crying.

58:01 Yeah. And Marcus is like, "Yep." As soon as we fell out, I 100% I went and told everyone at sir everything that he ever said. And uh once I realized that it's [ __ ] me, brother. It's definitely It is definitely [ __ ] you. So, um yeah, Marcus is like, "Yep,

58:18 that's loud. It is shitty. I almost get it from Kim, but like Marcus like Marcus hasn't talked [ __ ] about everybody at work, too. That's fine."

58:25 Exactly. It's really shitty. I mean, so he it turns out he's shitty, too. So Audrey is um she's like, "Well, Venus went to me in the kitchen almost in tears over nasty text messages that people have been sending him." And Kim's like, "Well, he sent me he sent me and and Marcus a nasty text message, so we thought he deserved to have everyone in the restaurant hate him." So that's

58:46 goes, "Yeah, but he sent you the first message." She goes, "Well, like Marcus told him he was not happy with him and he didn't want anything to do with him." And then Venus's response was, "I don't want anything to do with you and Ken." And she goes, "Okay, but like you and Marcus, like I mean come on. Like there's other people looped in too. So like he showed me text messages calling him X, Y, and Z. And like that doesn't sit right with me cuz like alphabet disses are not cool. Like we all have to use it." I like, "Well, but like that's other people's feelings towards him and nothing to do with me." Just Yeah, but you told them the things he said, so it does have to do with you. She's like, "Yeah, but she's stymied." She's like, "Uh, okay."

59:26 I love Kim's logic of all that Marcus did was say he doesn't we he doesn't want to have anything to do with Venus and then Venus wrote back saying he doesn't want anything to do with us. It's like ruined his life.

59:38 He realizes the same text, right? Like you realize the same logic. So he was really so obnoxious like cuz everyone should still want to have something to do with us even if we don't want to have something to do with them. So Audrey is like, "Venus should be able to go to his best friends and tell him exactly how they feel, how they're making him feel, and not have to have Kim and Marcus go scorch earth on him." Yeah. So, uh, she's like, "Yeah, nobody should get mean text. That's where Audrey stands on this. Mean text bad."

1:00:04 So then, um, Kim's like, "Okay." And uh so now we see a later scene and Audrey's like flexing her muscles for the other servers and she's like uh and uh Angel I'm sorry you guys I'm stuttering. Angelica's like um is that like Pilates? Like what is it? She goes, "Yeah, but like I'm trying to get my legs more toned because I have thunder thighs." And Angelica says, "Honestly, thunder thighs are like what they want. The guys like want them. I hear thigh gaps are out. Thigh gaps are totally out. Girl,

1:00:35 you heard it here first." So now Marcus goes up to I mean that's the girlfriend you want though.

1:00:41 Yeah. He was like, "Yeah, are stupid. Everybody knows it." Yeah. So Marcus goes up to Kim and he kisses her. He's like, "How's it going, babe? Is it still busy up here?" Like, "It is." He's like, "How's the new girl? She's kind of cool." She's like, "Yeah." She's super respectful and like super trying to learn everything. It's really cool. So they're being like all nicy nicy for now. And then Angelica goes up to Jason and she's like, and Jason's like, "Hey, what's up, player? How's your first day going?" And she's like, "Yeah, I think it's like I'm catching on pretty quickly. Like Open Table, have you ever heard of it?" Like so cool. I catch on pretty quickly. I'm in neuroscience.

1:01:14 Yeah. All the girls are like saying like good things about you. Like they really like you here. Yeah. And she's like, "Okay, well that makes me feel good." He's like, "You're starting to grow on me too." Okay. Well, I guess we'll see. Bye. He's like, "Ciao." I say ciao a lot. It's like my only fan sign on. Ciao. Ciao. I'm not I'm not gonna lie. Jason's kind of cute, especially when he says ciao. And I hope I'm like I'm not coming off too weird because I haven't flirted with a guy since my ex and I broke up. Broke up. Broke up. But we don't hear what it is. Instead, we go to Marcus bringing Audrey some menus and he's like, "Hey, the mother lord." Yeah. Seven menus.

1:01:55 Take a good look. I'm a real man carrying menus. So Jason talks to um Angelica again. He's like, "Whoa, you were like freaking out talking to me right now. Like remember how we were talking but then you walked away? That was like so freaky. Ciao." I know I'm Italian. And she's like, "Um, but like you kind of make me nervous though." And he goes, "Yeah, yeah. Do I? I can tell. Ciao." She's like, "Yeah, this is why I don't like dating. Like I just rather be in relationships for the rest of my life cuz like dating is like so manic. I'm like a boy. Oh my god, it's a boy." And I become unhinged.

1:02:28 By the way, your game it was cute. Oh my god. Okay. Anyways, I actually have something I need to do right now. Oh, this is so awkward. He said, "My game is cute. I don't even know what he was talking about."

1:02:39 So, now we go to a ranch. Now, it's time. Very exciting. Today is the day we get to meet Oreo, Mary Faith's horse that Audrey is taking credit for. So, we go to White Cloud Ranch in Malibu and Audrey's cleaning horses with Mary Faith herself. And Mary Faith is like, "Oh my god, are you so excited to use your my horse and pretend like you're a rich person like I am, but you're not because it's definitely still my horse and not yours because I live in Malibu and you live I don't know where you live, but like it's cool that you're here."

1:03:10 Yeah. I want to get to know him a little more. So, we're going to throw him Oreo. Oreo's the best judge of character.

1:03:16 Yeah, we'll throw him on our girl and see what happens because if he's like a shitty guy, then Oreo's going to break his neck and he'll be paralyzed for life, right? So cool. I love this test.

1:03:24 Yeah. So, then Chris comes and he's like in full cosplay cowboy, you and he's got the hat and the boots and she's like, "Oh my god, what in the Matthew McConnA is going on?" Next thing you know, this guy's going to stop wearing deodorant and like get the police called when he's playing bongos.

1:03:39 And so like, "Wow, you look like a real cowboy. Where are you from?" He's like, "Jez." And Mary Faith goes, "Right." Mhm.

1:03:47 Mary Faith did not like that answer. She was like, she's like, "I'm going to leave the scene now. I'm going to leave because I'm in I'm from Malibu. No one told me someone from Jersey was coming here." So Audreyy's like, "Yeah, well this is Oreo. She's a little spicy. A spicy Oreo. Okay, she's on her period women, am I right? So you'll just have to like not fall off. Good luck with the period horse." So it's kind of a cute scene. He rides a horse. He doesn't know really how to do it. And she teaches him. And she's like, "Chris doesn't look like he's ever been dirty." Like and we're talk and like unless we're talking about the other types of dirty, but like dirt horseshit never. But like he's trying, you know? So that's cool. I mean, look at him. He looks like he should be the he should be the star in Miley Cyrus's The Climb music video.

1:04:32 Some old video like that. I like Chris says, "I've only ridden one horse in my life and the horse actually ran away from me before I could hop on it." I'm like, "So, did you ride?"

1:04:40 So, you didn't ride a horse. You saw a horse run away from you. You've been abandoned by a horse before.

1:04:46 So, they talk about horses and she's ridden um you know, she wanted to bring some Texas to California. And how's your dating life? And she's like, "I haven't dated anyone in LA cuz like I don't do like fast dating." Yeah. I did I do like sit down like service dating.

1:05:02 Yeah. Table service dating. You know, I'm definitely a relationship girly. I've had a four-year long relationship and I had a two-year long relationship and before then I was 11 years old. So, but like both of them almost destroyed me when they ended. But it's just because like when I love I love so hard. Oh, girl, you're like 22. Stop acting like you've been like you've been around the block.

1:05:29 And he said, "Now it's his turn." So he's like, "Well, you know, being on two reality dating shows." She goes, "Oh my god, what?" And he goes, "Yeah, you didn't know that? You didn't recognize me? You didn't know me? Been on my Instagram?"

1:05:43 Okay, no big deal. You didn't see my IMDb. I mean, I feel like everyone Sar's been talking about how I was on two uh reality shows a few years ago that like uh kind of made no dent in pop culture, right? Yeah. I was um I was on one reality show called [ __ ] Your Sister, which was so weird because people like thought you were [ __ ] Your sister, which like I got.

1:06:01 Yeah. And then there was another one like Stick Your Finger Up My Butt, which you know, it was like bigger. Like it was a Netflix thing. So like people like now when they're dating me, like I'm like you're just using me because like I'm famous from reality shows. So it's pretty rough. It's pretty rough.

1:06:16 He He really says, you know, I realize these girls I go on dates, I just realize these girls just want to be here. just to try to get some clout like a piece of meat. Like you're the one who said last week you're trying to get you want to work at SA so you can network and meet people and get famous. Like yeah, but I want to climb the ladder. I don't want to be the ladder. He's like I felt like a piece of meat. Aren't you on Only Fans?

1:06:39 You're you're literally you're in the back section of the supermarket next to the chicken and underneath the pork. You're the meat.

1:06:48 Your goal is to be a tomahawk, you know. So Chris is like, I would say you're a porter house, but you're a porter apartment.

1:06:55 Yeah. I just don't have any luck meeting a genuine person, you know, at least from my point of view. Because like I've only had three serious relationships. Last one was back in Jersey three years ago, but I've had some situationships. And she goes, "Okay, well, do you want a serious thing?" And like, "Do you love being single?" And he's like, "At this point, I don't want like I don't see anything long term. I'm just not going to really waste my time or their time. It's it's like longterm or nothing." Yeah. But you know, it's really hard when the paparazzi are following you around and like you can barely see because there's so many cameras snapping in your face.

1:07:28 Yeah. And she's like, "Wow, that's like so mature. Like this guy, he's so deep. He only dates on reality shows and he can't find love of his life. It's just crazy. It's so hard out there. But wow, I hope you learned a thing or two. You're so deep, Chris." Yeah. All I really need is a guy who can make me laugh and then like my clothes are off. Like I'm serious. So then we go to a rooftop bar party. First pool party on a rooftop, everybody. It's a big deal.

1:07:56 This is Vanderpump Rules tradition. So here we go. Angel Angelica's like, "Um, there's a lot of tension at the restaurant, so I just want to go down everyone's good side, get to know him individually. So I'm going to have a pool party with my girlfriend." So she goes, we see flashbacks of her inviting people and she's like, "I'm newly single. God, I hate being single. I just want to be in a relationship." And just like hear me roar. Woo. And she like takes off her shirt. She's like, "Look at me." So Marcus is there at the rooftop and Marcus like, "Hey, you want I want do you want me to take a picture of you girls? You all look so pretty." They're like, "Oh my god, Marcus, you're so sweet and thoughtful." Like he's really good at this. It's the one thing he does, right? It's just like Marcus being sweet. So sweet. Classic Marcus. So everybody's like greeting and saying hi as everyone comes in and Natalie comes

1:08:42 and she's like, "Hi guys." is and the girls just look at her and Kim's like, "I don't understand Natalie's mindset. Like, how could she think we're going to all be screaming at each other and hating each other for a day and then the next day we're just going to be fine and say hi to each other?" Maybe because yesterday you were screaming and yelling with your boyfriend and your boyfriend said he was falling out of love with you and then you showed up the next day being fine. Maybe that's why. Cuz you set the precedence.

1:09:07 Yeah. Maybe it's because in the last episode you were trying to start a fight with Natalie and then the moment that you heard that Marcus is falling out of love with you, you actually went and cried in her arms in the same party within the same like five minutes of air time. Maybe that's why maybe that's why we think that there could be.

1:09:22 So um so there so Natalie is like I just don't like to carry negative energy. So when I say hello to everyone and they have nothing but resting [ __ ] face, I'm like wow I'm damned if I do. I'm damned if I don't say hello. That is. So Shane's like, "Hey, what's going on? Good to see you, Natalie." And she's like, "Good to see you, too." And then Venus is like, "Dude, you look huge." Wow. Shandy was like, "Yeah, I'm [ __ ] stacked up right now. Not going to lie, I'm bigger than I've ever been. My bullet my bullet tattoos are looking bigger and sexier than ever. It's the life of a model, man."

1:09:57 And Chris is like, "Oh, oh, Shane Shane Davis is here like talking about being stacked up. Don't mind me, guys. Just got to change into my bathing suit right in front of everyone. Hope my towel doesn't fall. Oh, whoops. Put it on backwards. Gonna have to try it again. Maybe you guys will get to see my junk. Huh? Maybe you'll get to see it.

1:10:14 I like, "Oh my god, he's naked." And Kim's like, "Wait, hey, do you have a crush on Chris or what, Marcus? Like, what are you doing, Marcus? You're always have only supposed to have eyes for me."

1:10:24 He's like, "We're brothers. We're like brothers." All right. We're like brothers. No, you're not.

1:10:29 So, Chris says, um, yeah, Chris is like, "Got to do it again, guys. maybe get to see my wiener. So, Deie um says hello to Venus, but she's like, "Hello, Venus." And she's like, "Do you want to come sit here?" So, um

1:10:43 it's the nicest thing she's done all season. He's like, "No." And she goes, "Yeah, well, I totally understand." So, so Natalie's like, "Oh my god, I almost put my toe in our water. Isn't that hilarious?" And Jason's like, "Oh no, I'm gonna drink it." So then Shane tells us Natalie cuz oh we should say that like Natalie is sitting next to Jason and she's making this small talk about putting her toe in I guess a cup of water and it's like sort of flirty and Shane's like Natalie told me like not to be flirting with anybody at sir and like now that's what you're doing and I'm like confused by that like are you feeling this or if you're not feeling it let's just be friends because either way I'm a bit comm I'm a big communication guy and if something is casual I need some clarity.

1:11:29 Like you're the one who Yeah. You went on one date and the whole point was that you brought a girl into sir just to get her mad. So I think she's now just doing it back to you.

1:11:39 Yeah. They've only been on one date, but I think he's like, "Whoa, I whipped out my being shot three times story." And like I totally one uped her scoliosis story, whatever that is. And so like she should be totally in love with me right now. Why is she flirting with somebody else?

1:11:54 I was vulnerable in front of her. Okay. I flex my arm at the top of a rock wall.

1:11:58 And so she's like, he's like, "What's cracking?" She goes, "Not much. I'd love for more to be cracking." He goes, "Yeah, you want to go over to the pool with me? Come on. We need to have a serious talk." Yeah. So, uh, Jason told me you were getting super flirty with him and Chris. What about that? And we see a flashback to Natalie between the cousins being like, "Oh my god, this is like a threesome. I'm like between the I'm like on White Lotus right now."

1:12:21 Another White Lotus reference. And they're like, "Yeah." like, "Wow, look at close. Oh my god, I'm so close to you guys." So, now back to the present. Natalie's like, "Um, everyone thinks I'm flirting with them all the time cuz I'm super nice." Yeah. And I can feel your walls like super super high. So, just like bring it down, be vulnerable like I am. Pretend like you're flexing top of a rock wall. It's like Yeah. Well, this like conversation is like turning me off like so much. Like, I don't want to talk I don't want to like talk about it or overanalyze it. Like I'd rather you just be see me and like be super cute and affectionate and like not have this talk. It's like gross.

1:12:57 Yeah. But like I don't believe that. Like the way I communicate that's like with anybody I'm seeing. That's just like what I do. I just like get into a knife fight for people, you know, man.

1:13:06 Yeah. But like I'm relationship person. I meet the person it's like 0 to 100 and there's like nobody else. So like it's like there's not communication cuz like I end up being with the person like 247 as soon as it starts. So yeah.

1:13:20 Yeah. But like right I want to be like super respectful but like that's like why I'm like what bothers the [ __ ] out of you because like while we were talking

1:13:27 this conversation this conversation bothers the [ __ ] out of me. It's like gross.

1:13:31 Okay. Reverse reverse because like this is called clarity. And if you can't do communication

1:13:37 I mean why can't you just flirt with someone and see what happens? Like you're showing all your cards and that's what you're calling communication and it's like making me bored. Like I'm like so bored with you. So,

1:13:46 um Oh, you're bored. You're bored. Yeah, because there's like nothing exciting here. Like, there's nothing exciting here. You can't start with like I was shot three times and then come up with like feeling things like the very next day. Like, you need to up your game, not go backwards. So, maybe you just like splooed your load on that story too soon. I don't know. But like boring.

1:14:08 Okay. Maybe we just communicate differently because like all I can talk about is communication. So, I guess we just communicate differently.

1:14:14 Yeah. [clears throat] I I communicate like in a fun flirty way and you're like communicating in a boring way. So like be boring somewhere else. Gross. You're gross.

1:14:23 So Natalie I love this though. I loved her being like shut the [ __ ] up. Like we're not you I'm not your girlfriend. What are you having a private conversation about me who I'm flirting with at work? Like [ __ ] off.

1:14:35 [ __ ] kidding me. She might be like having friendly conversation with the guys, but like he brought a whole other a whole other girl into his her workplace and he's going to say that's on the same level. So she's like this might be the first time in Shane's life that a girl is not throwing herself at him. And I think that's where we're we're going wrong and is that he can't get me the way he's used to and he is losing his mind. But I'm not that easy. Sorry Shane.

1:14:59 Yeah. So um she's done with him. Shane just walks away. He's like I'm out of this conversation. like I'm so over it. Shane Davis doesn't do this.

1:15:09 So he walks off. So now Marcus and Chris are swimming and having races and stuff and Audrey's like, "Oh my god, wait. I'm Wait, which one's Audrey? Hold." Oh yeah. She's like, "Wait, I'm jealous now. I want to go to the pool cuz they're like racing." Um, so Angelica compliments her chest. She's like, "Oh my god, you're like you." Oh, she's with Josh, my my boyfriend, and she's like, "Oh my god, you got such a nice chest. I'm going to put suntan lotion on your chest cuz it's like hard for you to reach it. He's like, "Whoa." And Shane's like, "Hey, someone spray my back." It's like, and Angelica's like, "I fear that you may have a bigger chest than me, Josh.

1:15:45 I'm not going to lie." He's like, "Yeah, I've got a bigger fauxhawk, too. I don't have a fauxhawk, but that's okay." Hey, so when was your last relationship? Aren't relationships the best? Should we just be in one? And he's like, "Uh, probably four to five years ago." Why? Why? Why has it been so long that I've been single? I'm just focusing on the grind, man. Just the grind, you know? Tripping doesn't strip itself. Okay. You just got to throw yourself into it. Just the grind, man. What about you? She's like, "Well, actually, I still live with my ex. I know. It's like crazy." And he goes, "Yeah, it's like a little bit red flaggy." She goes, "Yeah, but like that's the person I wanted to marry and have kids with, but then they didn't want to be with me anymore, and they're like they they like they can't.

1:16:22 Like they're saying like we're incompatible. I mean, what the heck? Like I love love love. So like I'm in relationships like really quick and like I'll move in after 3 months. So like my red flag is that I'll accidentally say I love you during sex. I'm just so sorry. Like what's wrong with me? I can't stop saying I love you.

1:16:42 Here's the thing. When it comes down to it, you're hot. I'm hot. I want to hang out with you more. I think we've got everything we need for a successful relationship.

1:16:50 That's like the second time we've heard that in one episode. Someone just being like, "We're both hot. Why aren't we dating?

1:16:58 I mean, is there anything else that needs to be checked? You're hot. I'm hot. What else? What else do we need? Like, we're set. We're done here.

1:17:05 She's like, "Well, just like invite me somewhere and I'll go anywhere with you." I mean, I'll probably say yes at this point. He goes, "Let's go to the gym together." Oh, god. Really? The gym? Take her to dinner, you [ __ ] loser. Come on, eyebrows.

1:17:17 I love a romantic. So, uh, he's like, "Okay." She's like, "Okay." And so now people are getting in the pool and there's some people playing chicken on top of like like the girl Audrey and Angelina are playing chicken on top of Chris and Jason and Audrey's like I have like a hot guy's face in between my thighs. Like who doesn't want that? Like living every girl's dream. Save a horse. Ride a cowboy. You know what I mean? Cuz remember Oreo and all that, right? Suck it, Mary Faith. Where's your pool party? So now it's Venus's turn. He's like, I'm talking to Kim. Kim, can I talk to you?

1:17:48 Okay. Well, I want to start with saying that maybe my approach was a little harsh and that that text was like a cry for help and me being like, I have to set a boundary because like I absolutely cannot handle what is going on in the last 10 months. I can't handle it any longer. And when I came to work yesterday, I felt backstabbed by you because I was totally told by multiple people that you guys were telling people [ __ ] that I've talked about them. And she goes, "Not true." And then we see one day earlier, Audrey saying, "Are you talking Are you telling everyone that she's that Venus is talking shit?" She's like, "Yeah."

1:18:22 But I apologize. I just coughed into everyone's ears. It came out of nowhere. I think I was just choking on how ridiculous these people are. So Venus is like, "Well, they told me that." And like, "Gabby, you texted me telling me I'm a low class [ __ ] for trying to throw y'all under the bus. And I would never tell anyone anything you and Marcus have ever said.

1:18:42 And she's like, "Well, the fact is when you sent me those text messages, I literally cried to my mom." And I was like, "He's one of the only person I trusted here." And the whole situation's made me so sad. And like, I'm not sure what moving forward's even going to look like cuz I'm like, I'm not going to go get the food I order. So, excuse me. Excuse me.

1:19:01 I don't know what moving forward is going to look like, but it's not going to be on an empty stomach. I'm getting my food. So Kim gets up and she leaves. Venus is like, "But I can't promise that it's not on with that bitch." And he points to Gabby. And Gabby's just like, "Australia, Australia, Australia." And off to the side. So, uh, Venus is like, "I don't know what to I don't know what to think right now. I'm going to project all my rage onto Gabby."

1:19:22 And Natalie is telling him, "Just take a breath. Okay, just take a breath." He goes, "Oh, yeah. Well, why is this stupid [ __ ] this [ __ ] This stupid bitch." And he goes uh he's like starts yelling at her and pointing across the pool or whatever.

1:19:33 Doesn't even have a mic on. And he's like, "Should I go confront her right now?" And she's like, "No." And he goes, "Yeah, I'm going to give me my drink." And he like goes and makes like a big stride over there. And he's like, "Mikea, you look hot." Gabby, you look like a stupid [ __ ]

1:19:51 You're hot. You're a stupid [ __ ] Michaela. Michaela's in. Gabby, you're out. So Gabby's like,

1:19:57 "Yeah, that's not cool." And this idiot is now going to have a whole reel of him going up to women, screaming in their faces, and calling them stupid [ __ ] Like, he's going to get physical. Like, what an idiot. Bad move, dummy. So then he's So then she's like, "Oh, thank you." And he goes, "You're welcome." And Michaela's like, "You're the [ __ ] dick. Shut the [ __ ] up." And Venus is like, "No, you're a dumb [ __ ] [ __ ] you." And Gabby's like, "You're trash." And Michaela's like, "Why?" And Venus is like, "She sent me some stupid ass text telling me I'm a low class bitch." Well, you know what? You know what proves that you're not a low class [ __ ] Maybe like not going up to someone and be like, "Fuck you, you stupid [ __ ] Skag whore."

1:20:35 Like, yeah, you're acting you're acting like you're in bad girls club. It's embarrassing. Please stop. The gays are asking, "Please stop. Please. Your elder gays are begging you. Please stop this.

1:20:44 We don't get that much." You know what I mean? It's Vanderpump Rules. We finally got a gay and this is what you're going to do. Stop. Okay. Go back to your manifesting. Please. So, Michaela's like, "Yeah, well, you were shut talking [ __ ] about her to Marcus." So, uh, Venus is like, "Oh, of course, Marcus." And he goes, "Hey, you know, not to come up on me like that, brother." And he's like, "Oh, yeah. Why?" So, now he goes up to Marcus's face and starts waving his finger in his face. And Marcus is like, "You don't want to talk to me the wrong way, bro."

1:21:11 Okay. Okay. I'm just asking why. He's like, "Be very careful." And Michaela, I don't even know who Michaela is. She's like, "I said, why are you talking [ __ ] about Gabby?" Gabby's like, "Oh, I haven't talked [ __ ] about this [ __ ] the whole time. So Natalie's like, "Oh my god, please just stop cursing everybody.

1:21:30 The biggest the frontier, the cursing." And Kim's like, "Oh my god, girl, don't act like you're not always [ __ ] crazy. You're the one who's always crashing out. You're a fake ass [ __ ] Natalie, so you shut up, too." She's like, "Oh, okay. All okay, perfect." She's I mean, you're like psychotic. You're like psycho. She's like, "Don't you guys ever move on or make any resolution? I mean, come on." Like, obviously not. Sorry that I'm sisters with your boyfriend. So Kim walks away. Where will this Where will this fractured group ever get go from here? We'll have to wait and find out. I don't know. Is it on next week? I don't think it's on next week, actually.

1:22:07 I think this is like the I think the break begins for Vanderpump Rules. But either way, it's a fun stupid fight capping off an episode of lots of stupid little fights. And um I'm highly entertained.

1:22:18 Yeah, good times. All right, everybody. Thank you so much for being here. We'll talk to you next time. Bye-bye.

1:22:25 Bye.

Questions about this episode

What is discussed in "Vanderpump Rules S12E3 : Venus Try Trap"?

In order: 0:00 Vanderpump Rules, Audrey, Angela Roman, David Oscar Marcus; 10:00 Angelica, Audrey, David Oscar Marcus; 20:00 David Oscar Marcus, Audrey; 30:00 Shane Davis, David Oscar Marcus; 40:00 David Oscar Marcus, Fried Green Tomatoes, Vanderpump Rules; 50:00 David Oscar Marcus, Audrey, Angelica; 1:00:00 Angelica, David Oscar Marcus, Audrey, Shane Davis; 1:10:00 Audrey, David Oscar Marcus, Angelica, Shane Davis; 1:20:00 Vanderpump Rules, David Oscar Marcus.

What is mentioned in this Watch What Crappens episode?

13 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including David Oscar Marcus, Audrey, Angelica, Venus, Andy Kim, Vanderpump Rules. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "Vanderpump Rules S12E3 : Venus Try Trap"?

The episode runs 1 h 23 min; the transcript is about 17,837 words in 256 timestamped sections.

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