Transcript

We Met At My Moms Funeral w/ Jessimae Peluso | First Date with Lauren Compton

From YMH Studios · Episode page · Watch on YouTube

· 43 min · 7,763 words · 197 timestamped sections

This is the full, timestamped transcript of "We Met At My Moms Funeral w/ Jessimae Peluso | First Date with Lauren Compton", an episode of YMH Studios published January 13, 2026 (43 min, about 7,763 words). It mentions 29 people, works and ideas, including love, Jesse May Paluso, grief, First Date, farm.

What this episode is about

The conversation explores the unconventional meeting of comedian Jessimae Peluso and her partner at a funeral, emphasizing the humor and unique experiences surrounding this unlikely romance. They discuss Peluso's struggles with living in Los Angeles while maintaining a long-distance relationship with her partner, who resides on a farm in upstate New York.

Key takeaways

  • Love blooms in the unlikeliest places—like goat-filled farms instead of trendy LA bars.
  • Funerals: life's unexpected matchmaking events where grief meets romantic comedy.
  • Monogamy isn't extinct; it just hides in relationships tired of emotional detours.
  • Life decisions often boil down to one question: goats or no goats?
  • In the quest for love, therapy is as necessary as tequila—just ask Jesse.

Who speaks in this episode?

What is discussed, and when

  1. – 5:00: love, grief, farm, funerals
  2. – 10:00: love, love language, barbecue restaurant, Lifetime movie
  3. – 15:00: mental illness
  4. – 20:00: Hoffman Institute
  5. – 25:00: The Mummy
  6. – 30:00: mental illness, Lifetime movie, narcissistic borderline personality disorder
  7. – 35:00: romance
  8. – 40:00: love language, romance
  9. – 42:34: First Date, Alzheimer's, Hilarity for Charity, Jesse May Paluso

Notable quotes from "We Met At My Moms Funeral w/ Jessimae Peluso | First Date with Lauren Compton"

  • He's on a farm in UPSTATE NEW YORK.
    about farm · at
  • Is there a better place to fall in love?
    about love · at
  • No. The Hoffman Institute is a worldwide institute that basically dilutes down 10 years of therapy into a week and you scream in the on a mountaintop and there's a lot of other things that.
    about Hoffman Institute · at
  • Illness. And it was like my first real experience in Los Angeles dealing with someone who had actual clinical diagnosed mental illness. And I didn't know about it. It was not…
    about mental illness · at
  • What has been like the most romantic thing that's happened to you in a relationship?
    about romance · at
  • We talk about like the five languages of love. I think there's a lot. I know books can make a list and we love a list, but I think that there's probably a few different maybe some more.
    about love language · at
  • It's called Dying Laughing with Jesse May.
    about Jesse May Paluso · at
  • Thank you guys for watching another episode of First Date. We'll see you next time.
    about First Date · at

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

  • Jesse May Paluso — Person · Main guest · 2 mentions · first at
    Guest comedian/podcast host who discusses her relationship, love, grief after her mother’s death, and her work helping people process loss.
  • Eddie Bull — Person · Referenced person (nickname) · 1 mention · first at
    A nickname used for the man who becomes central to Jesse’s farm connection; also tied to her sister’s family context.
    Just grieving with my sister, as you do, just, day drinking tequila, doing edibles. So, we called it Eddie Bull cuz my sister has children.
  • Seth Rogan — Person · Referenced celebrity/philanthropist · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as co-founder/face of Hilarity for Charity, connecting the episode to Alzheimer’s fundraising.
    Me live. The tickets are available on my website. And I sometimes forget to say I'm an ambassador for Hilarity for Charity, which is Seth Rogan. I'm sure you know Seth Rogan…
  • Lauren Miller Rogan — Person · Referenced philanthropist · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned alongside Seth Rogen as part of Hilarity for Charity’s leadership and mission.
    I'm an ambassador for Hilarity for Charity, which is Seth Rogan. I'm sure you know Seth Rogan and Lauren Miller Rogan, his wife. They're amazing charity. They raise funds for families dealing with Alzheimer's.

Companies & orgs

  • Hilarity for Charity — Company · Referenced organization / cause partner · 2 mentions · first at
    Jesse is an ambassador; the org supports families dealing with Alzheimer’s, tying personal grief to activism.
    You know Seth Rogan and Lauren Miller Rogan, his wife. They're amazing charity. They raise funds for families dealing with Alzheimer's.
  • Hoffman Institute — Company · Referenced self-development program · 1 mention · first at
    Jesse credits Hoffman with accelerating therapeutic insight and breaking her attraction to unhealthy relationship cycles.
  • barbecue restaurant — Company · Referenced business · 1 mention · first at
    Jesse describes her partner as owning a barbecue restaurant, reinforcing his ‘provider’ identity and their food-centered bond.

Concepts & topics

  • love — Concept · Core topic · 4 mentions · first at
    The episode centers on what love looks like in practice—commitment, resisting healthy love, romance, and how trauma shapes attachment.
  • grief — Concept · Core topic · 3 mentions · first at
    Grief is the origin story for how Jesse met her partner and the foundation of her podcast/advocacy work.
    Great question. Glad you asked it. My mom died.
  • love language — Concept · Core topic · 4 mentions · first at
    They discuss how love languages shape romance and Jesse identifies her own preferences (touch, gifts, time, words).
  • romance — Concept · Core topic · 3 mentions · first at
    They discuss what counts as romantic gestures, how romance depends on the giver’s love language, and memorable romantic moments.
  • mental illness — Concept · Core topic (relationship risk/trauma) · 2 mentions · first at
    Jesse describes a past relationship involving clinically diagnosed mental illness and connects LA to “congestion... of mental illness.”
  • Alzheimer's — Concept · Cause/advocacy topic · 2 mentions · first at
    Discussed via Jesse’s ambassadorship with Hilarity for Charity and her personal connection through her father’s death.
    You know Seth Rogan and Lauren Miller Rogan, his wife. They're amazing charity. They raise funds for families dealing with Alzheimer's.
  • Lifetime movie — Concept · Recurring metaphor · 3 mentions · first at
    Jesse repeatedly frames her relationship arc as a “Lifetime Christmas movie,” emphasizing improbability and narrative sweetness.
    I'm living a Lifetime movie like holiday Christmas on the hill.
  • funerals — Concept · Story catalyst / dark humor · 2 mentions · first at
    Funerals are joked about as places to meet partners; Jesse’s mother’s death and being “upstate” anchors this theme.
    Girls are wasting their time going to bars. You should be going to funerals.
  • narcissistic borderline personality disorder — Concept · Referenced diagnosis in past relationship · 1 mention · first at
    Jesse cites this as the clinical framing of a dangerous ex-partner, leading to a restraining order and shaping her relationship standards.
    Narcissistic borderline personality disorder.
  • grief survival guide — Concept · Descriptor of guest’s podcast format · 1 mention · first at
    Positions Jesse’s podcast as practical support for grieving people, emphasizing humor as a coping tool.
    You can find me at jessemay.com for all things. My podcast is like a grief survival guide podcast, making grief fun, making laughter a part of loss.
  • goats — Concept · Motif / symbol of farm life · 2 mentions · first at
    Goats are a repeated humorous detail that makes the farm appealing and becomes a punchline for why she fell in love.
    Yeah. Yeah. There's goats, girl. What do you mean do I go visit the farm a lot?
  • grief guru — Concept · Descriptor of guest · 1 mention · first at
    Frames Jesse’s authority/brand: she combines lived experience and comedic voice to guide grief conversations.
    She's a podcast host and a grief guru.
  • ketamine — Concept · Referenced dating-culture example · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as part of a caricature of non-monogamous ‘guru’ types (ketamine Zoom therapy) in modern dating.
    Relationship, and this is just from my own perspective, that doesn't want to be exclusive. It's either like a guy who does at home ketamine zoom therapy and is a is his own…
  • vehicle — Concept · Metaphor · 1 mention · first at
    Used as a metaphor for running a self-destructive dating pattern until it ‘runs out of gas.’
    I got to run this vehicle till it's out of gas.
  • ketamine zoom therapy — Concept · Referenced dating-culture example · 1 mention · first at
    Used as a humorous shorthand for a certain LA wellness/dating archetype associated with avoiding commitment.
    Own perspective, that doesn't want to be exclusive. It's either like a guy who does at home ketamine zoom therapy and is a is his own type of guru like you know like a guy in a…
  • cuddle puddle — Concept · Referenced non-monogamy trope · 1 mention · first at
    Used humorously to contrast Jesse’s preference for monogamy with certain alternative relationship subcultures.
    He doesn't want to be in like a committed relationship. So he wants to be in like a cuddle puddle with a bunch of people. Yeah.

Places & events

  • farm — Place · Key setting / relationship anchor · 2 mentions · first at
    The farm in upstate New York is where Jesse’s partner lives and works; it symbolizes a calmer future and a potential move away from LA.
  • LA — Place · Key setting / contrast location · 1 mention · first at
    LA is framed as congested and emotionally draining, contrasted with the calm of upstate/farm life and influencing Jesse’s desire to move.
    For love or looking for love, but in the process of being there for almost 10 years now, I'm finding fewer and fewer reasons to keep me there.

Media & podcasts

  • First Date — Media · Podcast / episode container · 3 mentions · first at
    The show format frames the conversation as a playful “first date” while going deep on love, grief, and relationships.
  • Dying Laughing — Media · Guest’s podcast · 1 mention · first at
    Jesse’s show is presented as a “grief survival guide” that integrates humor into loss processing.
    You can find me at jessemay.com for all things. My podcast is like a grief survival guide podcast, making grief fun, making laughter a part of loss.
  • Wedding Crashers — Media · Pop-culture reference · 1 mention · first at
    Used to support the comedic point about funerals as places to meet people; tied to Will Ferrell’s cameo.
    Frell said in Wedding Crashers, did he?
  • The Mummy — Media · Pop-culture reference · 1 mention · first at
    Referenced for a quote about “comeuppance,” used as a metaphor for arrogant people getting karma.
    Talking to the little beady eyed Egypt guy that's like the rat and she's like rats like you always get their comeuppins. So I always remembered that as like that's arrogant people. They always get their comeuppants.

Full transcript with timestamps

I'm so excited to see you tonight. First date, baby. I can't wait. First date. What's up you guys? Thank you for watching another episode of First Date. My guest today is a hilarious comedian. She's a podcast host and a grief guru. Give it up for Jesse May Paluso.

What's up everybody? There's actual clapping and the god mic leaden. This is real fancy and classy. I'm happy to be here.

Thanks for coming on. Heck yeah. So, we're just talking about LA and why you're still there.

And we haven't quite gotten to an exact reason yet. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know yet. I wasn't there for love or looking for love, but in the process of being there for almost 10 years now, I'm finding fewer and fewer reasons to keep me there.

Are you in love? Yes. And he's there. No. Where's he at? He's on a farm in UPSTATE NEW YORK.

WHY ARE YOU ON A FARM IN upstate New York? I'm living a Lifetime movie like holiday Christmas on the hill. Why? Why am I I'm literally big city girl goes home saves the farm and I'm still in LA.

Do you go like torture? Do you go visit the farm a lot? Yeah. Yeah. There's goats, girl. What do you mean do I go visit the farm a lot? There are goats.

Why aren't you living on this farm? A solid question. Has he asked you to live on the farm?

Basically, yeah. My sister's been scamming this thing for four years. This whole when I tell you, Lauren, this whole experience is a Lifetime Christmas movie from beginning to end.

Tell me about it. I want to know. How'd y'all meet? Great question. Glad you asked it. My mom died.

Oh my. So, y'all met at a funeral. Is there a better place to fall in love? Girls are while you're down.

Absolutely. Girls are wasting their time going to bars. You should be going to funerals.

Yeah, that's what Will, what is it? Frell said in Wedding Crashers, did he? Well, he was crashing funerals.

That's right. WHERE'S A MEATLOAF, MOM? Go to funerals. It's the greatest place to find love. No, my mother had passed away and I was upstate just grieving with my sister, as you do, just, you know, day drinking tequila, doing edibles. So, we called it Eddie Bull cuz my sister has children.

Okay. So, I'd say is Eddie Bull coming over today and she said he has he hath arrived.

Okay. And uh I was there for a few months and going to a place to relieve myself, not like peeing in the woods, but hiking in the woods. And on the way home, I found his place, his farm. It was a brewery. And uh I started going there and working after my hikes and just processing my mom's grief. And this was years years years ago. And then every time I'd go home to visit my sister, she'd tell me about him because I introduced them. I said, "You got to go up to this place. It's amazing. Gotta bring the kids. There's a lot of fun stuff. There's goats. There's farm animals." So my sister and him and and my brother-in-law, they all became friends.

Wow. And so for years, my sister's been like, "You got Come on. There's a farm. Like, come home." And I'd be like, "No, I'm too busy dating narcissistic, emotionally unavailable men. Like, stop. I'm on my own journey. I got to run this this vehicle till it's out of gas.

As one in LA does, as you know, you were there. And now I'm planning on, you know, my renovations of the farm.

Now I'm like, where can the horses go? Where are we putting the horses? There's a barn and there's no horses in the barn yet. Uh me thinks there's a problem. So when I say I don't know what I'm going to do with living in LA, that is a factor. But I was thinking that before.

Yeah. How long have y'all been together exclusively? Um, I don't know the math on that.

A while though. I mean, a short amount of time. Okay. We've known each other for years.

Okay. We've known each other for a very long time. I don't know anyone that gets into a relationship, and this is just from my own perspective, that doesn't want to be exclusive. It's either like a guy who does at home ketamine zoom therapy and is a is his own type of guru like you know like a guy in a bun who says he's a guru and like administers ketamine. He doesn't want to be

monogamous. He doesn't want to be in like a committed relationship. So he wants to be in like a cuddle puddle with a bunch of people. Yeah.

Everyone else I think wants a committed relationship. We want monogamy and everything else is telling us otherwise. That's just my opinion. So exclusivity. I'm not I'm not trying to get into something and have a bunch of other people to deal with.

Yeah. I don't like the the feeling of wasting time. That was always a thing to me. It's like I don't want to date you and like [ __ ] around with other people. Like either either we're into each other and we're going to like give it a good solid shot or we're not.

Right. What are we do? What are we doing? What are we wasting time for? Yeah. You're going to be of all things in this life and on this earth, you're going to be frivolous with your one heart. Your one [ __ ] heart. Can I swear on this? Your one heart. You're going to treat that with frivvility. Are you out of your godamn mind? That's the craziest thing I've ever heard.

Yeah. But it takes a lot of people, I think, to come to that realization like, "Oh, this is valuable. Maybe I should treat it with care."

Mhm. It it takes a lot of drugs and therapy sessions to come to that. Thousands of dollars and I'm sitting here in front of you. I h I I hath arrived. So, what made you fall in love with him?

Goats. Next question. Did uh did did he come to LA to visit you? Not yet. I guess why does he need to if he's got if he's got the goods?

Yeah. Like why are you coming here? Well, there. I never know where I am. I always just assume I'm like in Los Angeles. I'm in I'm in Austin, Texas. Why would you even come there when everything that is so great is where he is? Uh but to answer the love question, I think I did when he told me to stop resisting. He's like, stop fighting it. And in that sentence delivered in a different scenario, like if you're being if you're bound in the trunk, you you're going to

creepy. Yeah. And also, I'm going to fight it. Yeah. I'm trying to survive. Yeah. But that same mindset happens to people in love where we're coming from a survival, a place of survival. We resist because a lot of people have trauma wrapped around whatever their love language is and whatever love means to them. And sometimes when there's healthy love in front of you, you can resist it.

Yeah. And I was resisting cuz I was falling into older patterns. And he was like, "Stop fighting it."

And so just like so like just chill. And then I just went, "Okay." But like you said, it's like a Lifetime movie, too. And sometimes that can like bring on a feeling of disbelief, right?

Where you're like, "M like where's Mark Ruffalo? He's going to come around the corner and cause some problems.

Where's the guy that's going to [ __ ] it all up?" Yeah. You know, there's good there's a too good to be true scenario,

right? Do you remember your first kiss in life or like ever with him? It, you know, it's funny you say that because I was just thinking about this and that's such an important thing I think because it goes back to the frivvil thing.

Yeah. Because I think we sometimes rush through stuff. I know I have in the past just rushed through things and not really savor moments. And a first kiss is an important thing.

Yeah. You only get one and it can indicate a lot. Yeah. It can set a tone, a vibe, an intention for a relationship. And ours was like in the parking lot of a liquor store.

Why? And it was a pec. It wasn't like uh it wasn't like, you know, like a makeout sesh. It was a pec. I don't know. you know, cuz this whole thing has been such a slow build for so many years that I think it didn't need to be some big moment.

It was cute. It was cute. It was just placed in it was just like just tucked in there and he was nervous. I could feel that he was nervous and it felt like a check off. Like he was just checking a list like meet her at the coffee shop, buy her a bottle of wine, give her a quick peck in the parking lot. It was cute. It was very very cute, you know?

Yeah. But don't get me wrong, like I want like a whole hand behind my head, fingers in my hair.

Yeah. Yank my head back and smash my head on the truck. Did he do that later? We're working on it.

Maybe. Maybe he'll do that for Christmas. We're working on it. God willing. Put that in my stocking.

Is he a gentle guy? He is. He's a He's like a bull in a china shop. He's a big dude, but he is can be he can be gentle.

Well, the bigger they are, the harder they fall. Yeah. God, I love I love a big I love a thick tree trunk of a man.

I do, too. Yeah. Yeah. Is that your Is that your type? My man's that way, too. He's a big dude. Does he just grunt? Does he even speak?

That's how he talks to me, you know. And you're like, "Okay, I'll give you a cup of coffee."

Fair. So, fair. Can I ask what does he do? Does he do anything with that? He owns a barbecue restaurant.

Yeah. Yeah. Smoking meat. Yeah. So, he's like a real meat guy and and he's uh he's tall and he's thick and he's burly and he's got like a beard and dark hair and light eyes and he's like a teddy bear, too. But he has like uh

like deep down he has like the anger and aggression. So, I know that there's like a real tough guy down in there. Yes. But he's got like such a big fluffy teddy bear on top of him. But it's like if you poke the bear Yeah,

he can you can he can turn into like the grizzly bear. Yes. So, there's always something kind of hot about that to me.

There's always something hot about kind of being bold. I'm just kind of like, oh, I don't know. Like whenever he gets angry, I'M LIKE, HURRY, HURRY, HURRY TO THE BEDROOM.

I'm so scared. I love a burly guy. Love him. Yeah, that's good for you. I don't know you that well, but I think that's A GOOD VIBE.

IT IS a good vibe. You know, that's that was He's the only guy I've ever really dated like that.

Like emotionally, even physically. Like my t every guy I've dated has been completely polar opposite. But I feel like I leave one guy and then I look for something just totally different. Then I date that guy and I look for something totally different.

So I've been going totally different my whole life. And then you landed on the right one.

And then I landed on the barbecue guy. The thick trunk. The thick trunk. Now, did you smell his meats? How did you

We met at his restaurant. I girl I was like you don't even have to tell me twice. Like if there's food

food is it. That's amazing. So our whole relationship is like we love to eat. Yeah.

So we just eat our way through the world. So you met him at your at his restaurant. You're I just got to see the hands that are brisking this brisket that are I don't know what you do with meats but brisket brisket.

He cooked brisket but he's not the chef. Like he's not the cook. He's got people that cook.

Yeah, of course he does for him. But he's too big growling. He's too busy being a big guy growling.

What So did What does your guy do on this farm? Uh, well, they have a lot of different It's like an event space. There's a old barn. It's a family farm. It's been in the family for like 180 years.

Cool. It's like over 100 acres. And they do a lot of events. They have a restaurant as well. They have meats.

They have a smokehouse. Love it. donkeys. So, we know he's not vegan. No, he's not vegan. We know he's going to be able to survive in a storm. And if there's war, he'll have energy.

He'll get through it. He'll get through it. He has a family farm that he runs with his family.

That's cool. Yeah. So, what do you think the future looks like if you had to guess?

Me on a horse topless. Hot. Yeah. Not in front of his children. Just like, you know, on like a good day where there's no one around. Maybe on a day off. Even though farms never really have a day off, but I'm gonna change that.

You're gonna kill this man. There's the clip. Clip it. He's going he's going to have a heart attack and die. I bet if you told him that was your dream, a horse would arrive on Christmas Day.

Oh, he's already he's literally already had a heart attack. It's terrible. I hope he's okay. You know, a lot of where I like like the one of the reasons why I think I want to leave LA is just because of the congestion. The congestion of cars, of people, of dreams, of mental illness. There's just so much congestion and it's like bumper cars of all of those things intersecting all the time. It's not just car crashes, it's people crashing, it's craziness crashing, it's homelessness crashing. So, it's overwhelming. And so, I think even before getting there and having that affect me as a person, in my heart, I've always been someone who wants to be on a pasture.

Just want to be on a pasture. Well, I mean, you found the pasture. Well, I found the pasture. Manifesting is real.

Yeah. You got to manifest. And you have to be specific because a lot of people in even me in my past, I would ask the universe, "I just want someone." Girl, you better be careful cuz they'll deliver a narcissist. There's someone. You got to be specific about what you asked the universe for. And so I I got really specific about what I wanted,

how I wanted them to be, what I wanted them to be for, their constitution, their integrity, their moral compass, and and then you get a farmer with a pasture.

So you have to go through a lot of bad seeds to get to the good one. Well, I think the I think the bad seed you have to crack open is the one inside of you. Because I never blame who I'm dating. I always ask or I got to the point where I started to ask, "Why am I attracting that?"

That's a good question to ask yourself. I never ask myself that. A lot of us don't.

I'm always like, "God, that guy [ __ ] sucked. That guy sucked. [ __ ] [ __ ] him.

That guy sucked." But you let that sucky guy into your life. I know. That's the bigger why.

Yeah. I know, [ __ ] again tens of thousands of dollars in years of therapy to go, "Oh why?"

So, why do you think that you were attracting the wrong type of guy? I think for a re the reason that most of us attract the wrong type of person to live in the cycle of pain that we have been accustomed to our whole life that allows us to go through these patterns that we have identified as our love connection or the way we get love or how we need to be in order to receive love. And a lot of that is based in traumatic experiences growing up in our childhood. How our parents connected with us, how their parents connected with them. It's that rudimentary.

Yeah. It's so [ __ ] rudimentary. So I think it's just attracting the wrong person is as simple as you and myself being able to live in that cycle of torment and that cycle of trauma to keep us in that pattern of love that we learned growing up. And I went I went to a place have you ever heard of Hoffman? This is such an LA question.

No. The Hoffman Institute is a worldwide institute that basically dilutes down 10 years of therapy into a week and you scream in the on a mountaintop and there's a lot of other things that happened but essentially I went there and it really cracked open a lot of what I was holding on to and gave me a deeper understanding of why I was tracking attracting these types of people

and it sort of set me free in a way. set me free from needing to be in that cycle. I didn't I was like, "Oh, I don't need to be in this cycle. I'm an amazing person with flaws, but I'm pretty dope."

Yeah. You know, if I love you, you'll get [ __ ] What are you looking for in a relationship?

Peace. General peace. Like more peace than anything. Like you get along with someone really well.

Yeah. A friend. a friend you can be completely authentic with. Authenticity is so rare. It's so rare. And I think when people talk about magnetism, what they're really saying is authenticity. Because I think the people I've met in my life, the ones that I'm most attracted to are the ones that are so rooted in who they are that they're unfased by anyone trying to shake that.

Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. So uh yeah, I think I forgot what the question was.

What you're looking for. Oh, and also authenticity and also besides peace and that play. I want to play. Don't you want to play

always? It sounds like you play with your husband. Yeah. Poke him a little bit. Get him to be, you know, spicy so you can run and feel like you're being attacked safely. But I just can't be too like I'm I feel like

it's really easy for me to get really serious. And so I don't like that about myself because I always want to keep things like a little bit on the lighter, more fun side. I'm happier there.

Yeah. And when I when I just start to get too serious, like that's one thing I love about my husband is he can always kind of like take me out of that a little bit

or he'll say something that makes me kind of crack a little and I'm like, "Ah, fuck." like and it like brings me back out. And so I do think that that's really important. And a lot of people are looking for someone who's funny. You know, you always hear someone, I want to laugh. I need someone who's funny. Like he doesn't he doesn't need to be funny,

right? But he needs to be able to like bring more of that like funny some funny thoughts out of me.

Yeah. Like play. Yeah. Yeah. We have to play. We need to have fun. Like when I was a kid, I'm sure when you were a kid, we always played with a ball. The prover proverbial ball, the toy, the the

world of makebelieve, pretend, whatever it was. Even just running. We just like to run. Remember just running as a kid?

Yeah. Like you want to run? Let's go run. Like that was so much fun. Then you become a girl and you have to run cuz men are chasing you. Somewhere play becomes survival. And so it's like we pick up the ball as a kid and we drop it as a human adult and forget to play. So I just want my partner and my person to be someone I can pick up the ball with.

Yeah. And play with. What's your biggest turnoff? Arrogance and inflexibility. someone who is so rooted in an idea, a creed, uh um a topic, I believe the more flexible we are with all aspects of life, even our faith, the more we'll flow. And I'm not saying to let go of your faith. I'm not saying to change it. I just think when we start to allow a little bit of fluidity into our lives in all these different facets, you like exhale a little. You stop holding on so much. You just create some space for expansion.

Yeah. I think if we didn't hold so steadfast to who we are that we become who we're meant to be. Well, I think there's a little bit of truth in kind of all religions in spirituality. Like if there's

Did you read about that guy who's handwriting the the Quran? No, there's a guy I think in they could probably fact check Usuzbekistan, I believe, and he is taking on handwriting the Quran in calligraphy. I think he's just got one copy done, but he's going through and handwriting it. I don't know if he's selling them. He should be selling them.

Does this guy have nothing else to do? It's a good question. Like maybe that sounds like a wild hobby board person. Like you know what? Like I could think of a 100,000 other things I'd rather do,

right? I want to knit. Yeah. I didn't even want to write thank you notes to people.

Girl, I do cuz it's nice and I like want to be that person. But like the whole time I'm writing them, I'm just like

Does your handwriting change seven times in I'm like is a serial killer write this?

My handwriting changes from the first sentence. It'll be like so pretty and then by the end of it when I sign off my name it's like

did she write this while she was hiking? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, is it Becca Stan? I'm a Virgo. I need the details.

I am too. You are? I am. Shut up. When's your birthday? The 16th. Mine's the 15th. I peed a little.

Me, too. That's awesome. I knew I knew I liked you for a deeper reason. I was like looking you up online. I'm like, I like this girl.

Um, anyway, back to how there's a little bit of truth to all relig religions. I also like to observe arrogant people because if you watch them, the karma that hits them is always so great. It is wonderful.

I could never date a very arrogant person. I think it's so annoying. Like I'm just like

get away from me, but like let's stay in contact. Yeah, but let's like FaceTime.

I want to like know about the karma that hits you because when people are really cocky or overconfident and they they say things or like I'm better at that than you like

oh, I can't wait. I can't wait. Can't wait for you to come across an unexpected pothole.

Yeah. Like always, it always happens. So, they're really fun people to watch. And that's like a good point because I I think if we hang on to that knowing that when people are arrogant around you, let it trigger you less because you know it's going to they're going to be taken care of.

They always get their comeuppins. Yes. I learned that from the mummy, you know.

Oh my god. Brendon Frasier. Yeah. Whenever like Ra Rachel Weiss was talking to uh the little beady eyed Egypt guy that's like the the rat and she's like rats like you always get their comeuppins. So I always remembered that as like that's arrogant people. They always get their comeuppants. So just I'm wheezing. remember that?

I will. I'll never forget it. You think I'm going to forget? You looked right into my soul. You were Rachel Weiss and I pictured the rat.

Yeah, that little guy. Yeah. And he's like like that's exactly how he acts with all of his like jingling

thievery things. Yeah, that's a real thing. Yeah. So, um, how many Let's get back to your dating life.

Cool. So, how many relationships have you been in? I've never counted. Are we going way back to like Kevin Harp when I was in second grade?

I would say like relationships that have shaped you in some way. Like some real relevant relationships.

I'd say about five. Yeah. Four or five. Lived with all of them. How was that? I'm alive to tell the tale.

Yeah. Could have gone a different way. Yeah. It was really like it was a crash course in like Airbnb of the soul, you know, cuz we live in these little pockets of our lives in these little like encapsulated eras and they're all like these little homes like literal and figuratively like you live in a place with this guy, I lived in a place with this guy, then I lived in a place with this guy and I was a different iteration of myself in each place and they all they're all teachers. All of them were teachers for me. And I didn't realize this until afterwards cuz when I'm in it without any tools or any awareness or any understanding, I'm flailing and just cycling through idiot after idiot and being like, "God, why? Like, this guy's such an idiot. I'm the only I'm the common denominator idiot in all of it, you know?" So, it was I don't highly recommend moving right in with anybody.

Maybe do a background check. That sounds very like a common joke that people say, but I'm not even kidding. There's people you can hire. Yeah,

there's people around town. What? Why not? Landlords don't even let you in their place that they don't live in that they own from a distance.

That's facts. With a background check for the most part. What was your worst breakup?

Uh restraining order on Valentine's Day. Go to commercial. Why? Same. You know, it it was that was like one of the hardest relationships I ever had. But the most probably the most important relationship I had ever had.

I wish there was a plot twist and you were like it was against me. That's a different Lifetime movie.

No, but but so you had to file a restraining order against someone else on Valentine's Day.

I got it granted on Valentine's Day. I was in court on Valentine's Day. Was he like stalking you?

He was all the things. He had a lot of He had the vin a vin diagram of mental illness. And it was like my first real experience in Los Angeles dealing with someone who had actual clinical diagnosed mental illness. And I didn't know about it. It was not something like when you meet people, they're not necessarily Some of them may be forthcoming and transparent, but most people aren't going to lead with their worst attributes. We've been trained to lead with our best foot. Put your best foot forward. [ __ ] that. Give me your wrinkled crimpled budget ass Ross dress for less foot.

Give me your discount bin foot. So, what did you find out about him? Narcissistic borderline personality disorder.

Okay. Which is a fancy clinical term for run girl. Run. Run. Forest run. How long were y'all together? under a year and a around a year and a half and you know it was such a whirlwind of an experience. He was a beautiful man and Adonis. My sister even to this day goes he was the best looking one. I go girl do you remember court?

Not very attractive. You know your sister sounds cool. She's so fun. My sister is she your only sibling? I have I'm the youngest of four girls.

Wow. And that's a recipe for comedy. You were supposed to be a boy. I have always said that. AND MY DAD I don't think my dad thought I wasn't. Cuz if I had three girls, the only reason I'd try for a fourth is to have the boy.

For sure. And it's funny cuz the way you put it, I never thought about it that way, but I always felt like the boy. Glad you are a girl. You're a dope girl. But you're probably so dope because you're you've got you're a dude.

Your parents put all that energy into you when you were made. Right. Right. Right. Right.

And so and they saw my vagina, they went, "Shit, [ __ ] Damn it. At least she's going to be cool.

At least she's going to be cool and down to earth and like bugs and snakes. That's so freaking funny." But yeah, I'm the youngest of three girls and my my dad had a marriage and two girls and then had my sister and I with my mother and so my sister and I are very very tight.

Okay. So then that's a different story. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. But still very funny. Still going to use it. I'm going to try it at the Comedy Mothership tonight. I'll report back.

Thank you. I want to know how it goes. I'm not even kidding. If you man, if you just marinate it for like a minute, I bet we can when people ask you why you're so cool.

You were supposed to be a dude. The third of the last The last of four girls. Yeah, you're right.

Yeah. I even whenever we go to restaurants and I always see like a family sitting there and they have four girls. My husband and I always kind of look look at them and we look at each other and we're like,

supposed to be a dude. Supposed to be a dude. Supposed Still can. Yeah. Still can.

Never know. Never know. Especially Never mind. YOU KNOW WHAT? YEAH, WE'VE ALREADY

podcast is done. A line, a border. Oh, a border. Yeah, clearly clearly past that border. Um,

we have to laugh about it all. So, what uh we were talking about um the the the

the hot guy straight. Oh, yes. Okay. Okay. So, that was your worst breakup, the filing restraining order on Valentine's. the worst probably.

What has been like the most romantic thing that's happened to you in a relationship?

There's been a few things. I think probably this is like something small but what I can remember my first like true love we're still friends when I was younger 18 to 20 early 20s Randall shout out to Randall amazing drummer very talented musician he we had our anniversary and this is when I was living in Boston and we were living together the the first of many roommate boyfriends. He had the restaurant personalized the menu for us.

A and had written like happy anniversary, our names on it and just made it very personal.

There's a lot of effort that goes into that. Yeah. A lot of coordination. Probably some, you know, probably a couple bills under the table like help me out. And you know, it's funny because I can't really remember a lot more romantic gestures besides like I dated these twins. Not both of them, but there was a twin when I was in like middle school and Jeff Jeff, we won't say his last name. He gave me cigarettes on the playground, you know, like just that like effort, you know, when I was just in New York. I was walking by. I was just walking down the street and you know you walk pretty fast but we were turning a corner so it was like a slower turn and there was like this 14-year-old kid with a cigarette and he was talking to his friend who who was just sitting there kind of like staring at him and he goes today was a pretty good DAY of this cigarette.

Stop according to what? I don't know but I just lost it. I just lost it. It was like a 55year-old man in this little boy's body and we both turned and looked at him and we were like that was a kid and just like in just you know just had the most adult conversation with his friend just smoking the cigarette and he was holding it just like that too.

Today was pretty good day. But, you know, to that I will say that kids that grow up in New York City are very and have to be by trade mature.

They're just a different animal and they they've got this like worldly understanding and worldly uh knowledge because of their exposure and proximity to so many different cultures.

Yeah. You know, you walk down a New York City block, you're hearing three or four different nations. You're smelling different cultural culinary experiences.

You're just in a really, really big place. You're in a big place with a lot people from around the It's the melting pot of the world.

Every time I go there, it it's the one place in the world to me that just feels huge.

It does feel very big and expansive and like there's no You don't feel borders.

Yeah. Of any type. You don't feel, and I'm not just talking about like a border, those types of borders. I just mean any type of border. It feels so open. Yeah.

In every direction, like it's a big big place. So, yeah, being there, it's a pretty good day in New York.

If you can say that in New York, there are so many experiences in New York where I could have been like, it was a pretty good day.

I felt it when he said that, you know, he said it was a pretty good day. I was like, I BET THAT KID HAD A GREAT DAY. He went on the playground. He got an extra cookie in the cafeteria. Like,

yeah, that kid probably had a great asked a girl out and she probably said yes,

right? He's like, I killed it today. Yeah, he had a great day. Probably made some

sucking down a cigarette. Made some good Bitcoin investments. Kids are different now.

Yeah. I was just like, man, so yeah, when this that cigarette moment will live with me for a long, long time.

It'll live with me as well. Um it just those are those are some moments. Yes. So that was a sweet thing that happened to you and um

yeah I can't so I was going to say like I can't really and this is more a testament to me in the lens through which I have lived in my relationships. I can't remember a lot of romantic gestures and that's not that they weren't given to me. uh maybe I wasn't in a place to really receive them and feel like I was worthy of them.

But now my man now is very romantic and does things like he's a provider and uh gives he's a giver. And so I can already feel that there are and have been romantic gestures in his own language. That's the other thing. Romantic gestures are really dependent on, I think, the way in which the person who's delivering them feels and experiences and identify as love. In what way do they mainly experience love? Because I think that will determine how they express it.

Yeah. You know, we talk about like the five languages of love. I think there's a lot. I know books can make a list and we love a list, but I think that there's probably a few different maybe some more in there, but if we're talking about that, I think that's an important thing to think about when you're in a relationship so that you can decipher what the romance is. It might not be a rose. Maybe your man doesn't give roses. Maybe he doesn't know or has never been told sweet nothings, he or she. So, I think identifying romance and being open to it being something that you might need to interpret

might be a good tool to have. Yeah. To have in a relationship because I think I just think about when you asked that question, me not being able to conjure up a lot. And I think that's one of the reasons.

What is your love language? I like to I'm affectionate. I'm a Sicilian. My I'm surprised I've kept my hand. I think it's because the shape of the chair. I feel like I'm gonna break [ __ ] but normally I'm I'm a mime.

Yeah. And I'm just physical and I like to touch and I I I'm very very affectionate. I also like to give gifts.

Uhhuh. And time like my time and I like to receive all of it. Yeah. I recently was thinking about this. I think words of affirmation I receive the most because I use words, you know, I like to write and I speak. I'm an aator and a writer. So, I feel like I like to re I can receive that. I can

intellectualize that as like a Virgo. Yeah. I believe I intellectualize a lot. I'm not saying I'm a genius. It's just how I process things. I think

I am analytical. So, when someone speaks it to me, I can be like, "Oh, I know. Okay, I'm cute. Thank you. I thank you. Just tell me what. Wake up and tell me that you couldn't wait to wake up cuz you missed me in the night,

you know? Yeah. Like, just tell me. All five. I want all five. I'm so greedy. Food. Is that a love language? How is food not on the [ __ ] list?

Food is on the list. Is it? Yeah. I even said recently that food is my love language. If you take me to a nice meal and like we sit there and have conversation and we're just like eating well,

girl, it's over. We're eating well. I'm happy. That's like I can't be any happier than that.

No, it lasts a long time. I'm full. Oh my god. You've hit my senses. Yeah. Yeah.

You put me in the car. I essentially want to be fed. Here's here's my ideal. Nice steak. like a really [ __ ] deliciously marinated seasoned steak. I'm hearing it. Moo. Sorry to all the animals lover out there. Animal lovers. We've been eating cows and animals for a long, long time. I love them. I love them in all shapes and forms, especially on my plate. And you feed me a steak and there's a [ __ ] glass of red WINE ON THE TABLE, [ __ ] A nice glass of possibly nerdala. It's a good one.

It's a good Sicilian red. Very hard to find. I'm surprised you know what it is.

I do know what it is. That's That's You get those two things in a crack and fire girl?

Oh, throw a fireplace in, then swaddle me and put me in the back of the car. Panty dropper.

Panty dropper. Just want to be fed and swaddled. Hey, is that too much to ask? It's not. You're a baby.

Thank you. That's all my son wants to. See, I'm a son. I'm your son. Yeah, you're a dude.

H. This has been so fun. And we are we already done? I know, guys. This has been a lot of fun. You have to come back.

I will. I like that you went deep with me. I like that you went deep with me. I can sense cuz when you were just talking about that, I was like, "Yeah, I can sense that she likes you like to be serious." You said you like to

Yeah, I can go that way, but then I like want to go the other way, too. I'm a real back and forth kind of [ __ ] Yeah, I like that. I like that about you.

I like that about you, too. Thank you. This has been a great day. Okay, let me know if you think about me later.

I will. I'll miss you. Where can people find you? Uh, you can find me at jessemay.com for all things. My podcast is like a grief survival guide podcast, making grief fun, making laughter a part of loss. It's called Dying Laughing with Jesse May.

Oh, I like that. A lot of fun cuz I think, you know, it's a universal experience we all have and it's can be so heavy. So, I'm here to bring a little joy to it. Also, come see me live. The tickets are available on my website. And I sometimes forget to say I'm an ambassador for Hilarity for Charity, which is Seth Rogan. I'm sure you know Seth Rogan and Lauren Miller Rogan, his wife. They're amazing charity. They raise funds for families dealing with Alzheimer's.

Cool. and they raise money because a lot of times these family members end up becoming caregivers for their loved ones because the disease is tricky and sneaky and you often times go bankrupt. So their funds go towards these families. So a portion of my ticket sales and my merch sales go towards their foundation and you can find that information soon on my website. We're putting that together.

That's very generous. Yeah. So by uh supporting me or supporting a good cause. My dad passed away from Alzheimer's so it's very near and dear to my heart. So to be able to use my voice and my joy and my gift to help others brings me joy and connection to my dad.

That's amazing. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you for coming on. You're welcome. Thank you guys for watching another episode of First Date. We'll see you next time.

First date, baby. Are you really drinking a glass of milk with dinner? I can't wait.

You told your mom about me? Just say you're ready. Delete my number. First date. Your parents are your roommates.

First date.

Questions about this episode

Who speaks in "We Met At My Moms Funeral w/ Jessimae Peluso | First Date with Lauren Compton"?

Lauren Compton (Host), Jessimae Peluso (Guest).

What is "We Met At My Moms Funeral w/ Jessimae Peluso | First Date with Lauren Compton" about?

The conversation explores the unconventional meeting of comedian Jessimae Peluso and her partner at a funeral, emphasizing the humor and unique experiences surrounding this unlikely romance. They discuss Peluso's struggles with living in Los Angeles while maintaining a long-distance relationship with her partner, who resides on a farm in upstate New York.

What is mentioned in this YMH Studios episode?

29 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including love, Jesse May Paluso, grief, First Date, farm, love language. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "We Met At My Moms Funeral w/ Jessimae Peluso | First Date with Lauren Compton"?

The episode runs 43 min; the transcript is about 7,763 words in 197 timestamped sections.

More from YMH Studios

About this transcript: the episode's spoken words as captioned on YouTube, split into timestamped sections. Reclip.Me locates every person, work and idea in the text, keeps the time it is first named, and quotes the words around it verbatim. Last updated January 24, 2026.