Transcript

Giggling about fraud, facetune, and jazz brunch with Hannah Berner and Paige DeSorbo

From Giggly Squad · Episode page · Watch on YouTube

· 1 h · 12,636 words · 377 timestamped sections

This is the full, timestamped transcript of "Giggling about fraud, facetune, and jazz brunch with Hannah Berner and Paige DeSorbo", an episode of Giggly Squad published November 10, 2026 (1 h, about 12,636 words). It mentions 43 people, works and ideas, including Hannah Berner, Paige DeSorbo, Giggly Squad, Marathon, Dane Cook.

What this episode is about

The excerpt centers on lighthearted, humorous banter between two hosts as they discuss personal quirks, relationships, and everyday relatable moments—from quirky texted questions and culinary obsessions to playful digs at each other’s habits and moods. It emphasizes candid, informal storytelling and spontaneous humor rather than structured topics.

Key takeaways

  • Quesadilla confession reveals dating: food isn't just fuel, it’s a mirror for control, care, and shared risk.
  • When humor masks insecurities, the ‘avatar of wellness’ battles carbs while craving connection—truth hurts tastefully.
  • What’s a macros debate if not a gateway to deeper anxieties, gender norms, and unspoken mental load?
  • Anecdotes about diets expose loneliness: men’s eating disorders hidden behind bravado deserve louder, kinder conversations.
  • Healthy boundaries appear as friction: choose battles, but don’t silence the craving for normal, imperfect intimacy.

Who speaks in this episode?

What is discussed, and when

  1. – 10:00: Giggly Squad, Facetune, Arnold Schwarzenegger
  2. – 20:00: Marathon, Marathon running, Paige DeSorbo, Grace Thompson
  3. – 30:00: Hannah Berner, Madison Square Garden, Pinterest, ESPN
  4. – 40:00: Giggly Squad, Asia, Marathon, Dane Cook
  5. – 50:00: Dane Cook, Hollywood, Maine, Kevin Costner
  6. – 1:00:00: Lynyrd Skynyrd, Marathon, Leonard Skard, Paige DeSorbo
  7. – 1:00:24: Hannah Berner

Notable quotes from "Giggling about fraud, facetune, and jazz brunch with Hannah Berner and Paige DeSorbo"

  • See that like Instagram clip or somewhere where someone was like the reason that Giggly Squad does so well is because and it was like this whole formula and I was like do we do that?
    about Giggly Squad · at
  • Did you know that the story of a marathon started in Greece like however [ __ ] many years ago because they would like send messages back and forth to towns and the town of Marathon was.
    about Marathon · at
  • No, that's insane. And I don't subscribe to marathon running. It's bad for your knees.
    about Hannah Berner · at
  • I watch on ESPN it's okay those [ __ ] are in I mean it should be illegal because the dancing they're triple threat the triple threat I can't even get into it the dancing the gymnastics the timing and then the fact.
    about ESPN · at
  • And for a limited time, prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska, and California. And for delivery, fresh beef not available in Alaska and Hawaii.
    about Hawaii · at
  • Mhm. Dane Cook's standup special at MSG in the circle.
    about Dane Cook · at
  • So, anyway, Wow. What is this on? It just got on Netflix.
    about Funny Money · at
  • You guys, let me give you my formula right now. I'm using lovely wonders lip.
    about Paige DeSorbo · at

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

  • Hannah Berner — Person · Co-host · 3 mentions · first at
    Co-host and primary speaker on episode topics (health, relationships, sponsors, marathon debate, Dane Cook documentary).
  • Paige DeSorbo — Person · Co-host · 2 mentions · first at
    One of the two hosts leading conversation, sharing personal anecdotes and driving episode topics (food, relationships, sponsors, events).
  • Dane Cook — Person · Referenced subject · 5 mentions · first at
    Referenced in discussion about the new documentary 'Funny Money' detailing alleged fraud, family betrayal, and career history.
  • Grace Thompson — Person · Friend/Referenced person · 1 mention · first at
    Referenced as someone encouraging the hosts to run a marathon (text exchange about running).
    Oh, yeah. I don't It's none of my business. None of my business. Wait, we didn't talk about Grace side texting me saying, You should run the marathon next year.
  • Joe Cook — Person · Referenced acquaintance/partner · 1 mention · first at
    Referenced as 'Joe' — likely Paige's partner (discussed eating habits). Mention appears in personal anecdote.
    I was Are you [ __ ] well? My boyfriend's over here not eating cheese quesadillas. Now I have enlarged sinuses. You [ __ ] bitch. No, no.
  • Kevin Costner — Person · Reference (celebrity example) · 2 mentions · first at
    Correct celebrity naming for clarity
    They were gorgeous. Like otherworldly. And then he even had like a serious movie with Kevin Coer. Like he was the comic of the moment and he was making tens of millions of dollars. In the meantime, his brother.
  • Arnold Schwarzenegger — Person · Cultural reference / bodybuilding example · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as an iconic bodybuilder reference when discussing fitness/bodybuilding culture.
    And everyone like admires him, but everyone's using steroids. Yeah. Which means they like talk openly like how their back is just like full of acne.
  • Jessica Alba — Person · Reference (celebrity example) · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as part of the description of celebrities who worked with Dane Cook in films.
    And he films the special. Hollywood Comes Calling. He's with Jessica Alba.
  • Jessica Simpson — Person · Reference (celebrity example) · 1 mention · first at
    Referenced as one of the actresses associated with Dane Cook's film era.
    And he films the special. Hollywood Comes Calling. He's with Jessica Alba.
  • Bret Michaels — Person · Cultural/music reference · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned in passing related to reality TV/music 'Rock of Love' style references.
    Brett Michaels was in one of those. I think again like not none of my business not my genre not my they could be yelling I'm sorry I don't.
  • Keke Palmer — Person · Cultural reference · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned in relation to spelling bee/pop culture references (slight name variants noted).
    Yes. Remember they would like cover them on ESPN. Remember Kiki Palmer's Aquila the Be Yes. Yeah. It was like cool to be like what is the origin of that word?

Books & papers

  • Leonard Skard — Book · Misidentified music entity reference · 2 mentions · first at
    Hosts discuss the name 'Leonard Skard' (likely misheard 'Lynyrd Skynyrd') and debate whether it's a person or a band; it's used to illustrate confusion about classic rock names.
    Did you ever make it in like the spelling be in like middle school?

Companies & orgs

  • ESPN — Organization · Referenced broadcaster · 2 mentions · first at
    Properly identifies the entity as a media organization rather than a company
  • Netflix, Inc. — Company · Streaming distributor referenced · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as the platform where the Dane Cook documentary (Funny Money) was available, signaling where listeners can find the documentary.
    Oh my god. I need It's called Funny Money.
  • HBO — Company · Referenced past distributor · 3 mentions · first at
    Mentioned in context describing how standup specials used to be distributed (HBO giving specials), used to contextualize Dane Cook's rise.
    He started to pop off. And then he put out people back then put out comedy albums. So, he put out a comedy album that was like ranking with Beyonce and he starts blowing up and…
  • MySpace — Company · Cultural reference (early social platform) · 1 mention · first at
    Platform categorization more accurate than company
    But this was before. And then he discovered MySpace and that's where he started to pop off. And then he put out people back then put out comedy albums. So, he put out a comedy…
  • Pinterest — Company · Referenced tool/resource · 2 mentions · first at
    Company name usage and quotation context clarified
    And I immediately switched over to Pinterest and said, What is my next red carpet look?
  • Tushy — Company · Referenced product company · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned in context of bidet attachments and the idea of making bidets more common in the U.S.
    There was a company called Tushy. They might still be around, but they were like they gave you an attachment. Yeah.
  • Mötley Crüe — Company · Referenced music act · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned (as 'Mly Crew') in passing as part of a list of rock acts and 2000s-era cultural references during a digression about music and reality TV.
    When it comes to that genre of like Leonard Skinner when you have to say the name in an accent. Leonard Skinner.

Products & tech

  • Facetune — Product · Referenced digital product · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as an app used for editing photos and as an alternative to cosmetic injections.
    Don't inject yourself with stuff. Well, in my brain, and not that I'm a doctor or a scientist, but in my girly brain, I think, and one slip and that gets in your bloodstream, you're done. You're.
  • FaceTime — Product · Referenced communication tool · 2 mentions · first at
    Product naming; classify as product
    So, Do you know how many times I want to send her a meme? I have to send it to Genie to show her. It's like exhausting.
  • Hooked on Phonics — Product · Referenced nostalgia product · 1 mention · first at
    Correct product naming and categorization
    Do you remember when we were little there were those commercials for Hooked on Phonx?

Concepts & topics

  • Marathon — Concept · Referenced concept of long-distance running · 9 mentions · first at
    Distinguishes the event from the place; prevents duplication with the town origin
  • Marathon running — Concept · Core topic (short segment) · 2 mentions · first at
    Used as a topic of debate — whether hosts (particularly Hannah) would run a marathon, and associated risks/concerns.
    No, that's insane. And I don't subscribe to marathon running. It's bad for your knees.

Places & events

  • Madison Square Garden — Place · Event venue reference · 3 mentions · first at
    Proper venue reference with stage context
    Mhm. Dane Cook's standup special at MSG in the circle.
  • Hollywood — Place · Context for entertainment industry · 4 mentions · first at
    Used when discussing industry dynamics and Dane Cook's house in the Hollywood hills — general reference to entertainment business environment.
    And Hollywood is just the wild west where like when you start getting successful like you're not part of a company where they're Yeah, now you got a promotion and this is what.
  • Asia — Place · Comparative cultural reference · 2 mentions · first at
    Used as a cultural region context; keep as location with context
    Cat healthcare in Asia. Your cat checks into a hotel on its own, gets a room.
  • Maine — Place · Referenced location in Dane Cook story · 2 mentions · first at
    Proper noun capitalization and consistency
    Just I didn't know anything. Even though it was like going into her business LLC, they went into her house in Maine and opened a Picasso.
  • Indianapolis — Place · Referenced location in scam example · 1 mention · first at
    Cited as the city where an alleged fraudulent charge occurred in a caller scam example used by the hosts to illustrate how scams work.
    Talking to? And I'm looking, I'm I don't know what this is. And the guy was Someone took a He was trying to say there was fraud on my card and sometimes that hap and I had like…
  • Greece — Place · Historical reference · 1 mention · first at
    Referenced as origin of the marathon story in a humorous anecdote.
    Did you know that the story of a marathon started in Greece like however [ __ ] many years ago because they would like send messages back and forth to towns and the town of Marathon was.
  • Miami — Place · Referenced travel location · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned when a host explains why she couldn't attend an event (was in Miami).
    How do we get a time slot? Had two drinks at her birthday party when you guys I wanted to be there. I physically couldn't. I was in Miami and [ __ ] went ary. She promised…

Media & podcasts

  • Giggly Squad — Media · Podcast/Show · 3 mentions · first at
    The podcast program that hosts the episode — framing the conversation and referenced when discussing strategy and audience.
  • Funny Money — Media · Referenced documentary · 2 mentions · first at
    Title of the Dane Cook documentary discussed in the episode; used as a conversation anchor about fraud and family betrayal.
  • Madeline — Media · Referenced media (likely childhood film/TV) · 1 mention · first at
    Referenced (as 'Maline' / 'Madeline') as the show/movie used to illustrate the sensation of waking up when something's wrong; the hosts reference it as a nostalgic touchpoint.
    I think of that every time I wake up in the middle of the night and I'm Yes, something's not right, but and it's I'm right that it's not right. And you have.
  • Miss Honey — Character · Referenced fictional teacher · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as a childhood reference for sensing when something is wrong (waking up in the night); used as an illustrative cultural touchpoint.
    I think of that every time I wake up in the middle of the night and I'm Yes, something's not right, but and it's I'm right that it's not right. And you have.
  • Lynyrd Skynyrd — Media · Cultural/music reference · 3 mentions · first at
    Correct organization type for a band
    Oh my god. Side note, just random. Do you know Leonard Skard isn't a person, it's a band?
  • Mean Girls — Media · Cultural reference · 1 mention · first at
    Referenced as a film moment (field hockey scene) admired by a host.
    Maybe one time in my life a figure skater, but no. Low key, at the end of Mean Girls when she's like hitting everyone with the field hockey stick, I was Okay, I [ __ ] with her now.
  • Bend It Like Beckham — Media · Cultural reference · 1 mention · first at
    Referenced as a sports film that inspired admiration for athletic female characters.
    Wait, you never saw Bend It Like Beckham. And when she kicked it and it had the curve and then all the girls were You're the best. You never want to be that.
  • Stick It — Media · Cultural reference (film) · 1 mention · first at
    Referenced as a movie that resonated with hosts about non-traditional female athletic characters.
    Wait. Do you know that people say that I remind them of The Girl in Stick It?
  • Rock of Love — Media · Referenced reality TV show · 1 mention · first at
    Referenced as part of a tangent about reality TV and rock personalities (Brett Michaels/Rock of Love), used as cultural color.
    The thing that made it my business was Rock of Love, but like it's still not my business.
  • The Princess Diaries — Media · Cultural reference · 1 mention · first at
    Referenced as an example of traditional girly films contrasted with more athletic female protagonists.
    Remember thinking she was a different brand of girl that I had ever seen in a movie before. Like I feel like I was very used to Princess Diaries and what a girl wants and it's very overly girly and she wasn't.

Sponsors

  • Hawaii — Place · Referenced location (sponsor price note) · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned twice in sponsor read about McDonald's Quarter Pounder pricing/availability differences (prices may be higher in Hawaii).
  • Pepsi — Sponsor · Sponsor brand (segment tie-in) · 1 mention · first at
    Parent brand behind the Pepsi Vanilla & Cream product promoted in the Holiday Hot Takes segment.
    Visit columbia.com to get your hands on an amazed puff jacket. It's tough on cold, soft on you. Welcome to Holiday Hot Takes, brought to you by Pepsi, vanilla, and cream.

Full transcript with timestamps

Sup, gigglers. Gary, fix the Wi-Fi. Manifest that [ __ ] We can't be managed. I mean, the day just got away from me.

Hello, my gargoyle gigglers. We could do gargling gigglers cuz all I've been doing is gargling with salt water.

Has it worked? It's nature's healer. You actually seem like so not sick right now. I'm definitely on the mend.

Definitely mentally sick, but physically you're you're glowing. Well, I did my makeup because my mom's like, you know,

sometimes you get on the pot and it looks like I'm like sometimes like I'm being my natural self.

Also, when I see you, like obviously you're beautiful, but I see your aura, which is black.

Do you want to know something diabolical that Joe did to me last night? And like I need to raise awareness for the girls at home.

What do you do? So like when he's supposed to be studying fantasy football, what do you do?

So I love a microwave quesadilla. It's She's who I am. But sometimes I want a gourmet one. Just a regular cheese. No only cheese, no meat quesadilla. I order one

in the luset. Yeah. Like I'm like I need some real influence here. So I order a quesadilla. I open it. It smells phenomenal. It's just like really. And he goes, "Wow, that smells really good." And I go, "I know. Do you want to take a bite?" And as I'm biting, I say, "Do you want to take a bite?" And he goes and he comes over and he goes, "Let me just smell it again." Smells it. And he goes, "I can't. I shouldn't." As I'm eating it. Don't ever look at me while I'm eating something and say, "I really shouldn't."

Look, you wanted to be with an athletic like fit guy. This is the the the dark parts. These are the dark arts of it.

I dropped my quesadilla. I look at him and I go, "How much longer are you gonna be like this?" Cuz if it's a forever thing, I got to make arrangements.

Look, on a first date, you should have asked, "Do you know what macros are?" And if he says yes, you have to factor that into your decision- making.

But like, that's the thing. He's not like adding protein to things. He's not like

I'm telling you he is. Yeah, that's true. Actually, I feel like he has and you just haven't realized it.

Do you think he has? Yes. You behind my back. You said he only does like meat and rice.

He wouldn't dare touch rice. Rice is like a cheat meal. He This man does no carbs. No carbs.

He's doing meat and cheese. And coping mechanism. This is It could have been heroin. Let him eat.

I mean, at least he'd like nap with me, you know? At least we could have a [ __ ] At least you're going to have a hang

post carb load hang is so euphoric. But like I don't subscribe to counting calories. I don't know. I guess like dieting in

it's not an Italian thing for I mean yeah there are days where I'm like okay let me eat a little bit healthier this week because I haven't had a vegetable in two weeks. But I'm not like I'm never here's what it is. I'm never depriving myself of a craving. Yes.

Like I wake up in the morning and I'm like, "Oh my god, I haven't had a cinnamon roll in how long. I'm having a cinnamon roll later."

But this is a good discussion cuz I've said I don't want to ever date a guy who's like too picky with foods.

Okay. Like I don't come over to my house. I don't want to be going to like a Thai restaurant and him being like, "I don't eat this." Or like like we have to be eating everything and anything. I wouldn't go so far as when the waiter comes and says, "Are there allergies at the table?" If you have more than one, we're not going to [ __ ]

No. If you have allergies at the table, grow up. Get an EpiPen. You're ruining everyone's time.

Salt shaker epi pen. Figure it out. You're ruining everyone's night. No, like put the meat to the side.

Well, the his argument to me is he eats way more than me. What are you talking about? He's eating more than me, but I'm just eating different bad stuff. Like, I don't think we've ever

Does he ever get dessert when we go out to dinner? Like, does he ever try the dessert? See, I'm so consumed with myself. I have to start.

You're realizing you're living with someone. Like, you just realized it yesterday. You're like, there's another man eating when I eat.

Eating from my refrigerator. Get out of here. It comes to the point where though like it's just none of your business what he does,

right? Look, I defend I'm a Joe defender. You are. You're Joe's number. I'm rooting for Joe. I'm Joe's number one fan.

I I see the vision with your relationship and I want it to come to fruition. Totally. Totally.

He has his own stuff going on. And you want to know what? I should actually look at the bright side of things because I went from like men who wanted to smash cake in my face at our wedding to Joe being like, "We don't need a cake.

Don't actually even bring a cake around. Take your poison. Choose your battle. Choose your battle. And I actually do think I'd take the ladder.

I dated a crazy like fitness buff that was like counting calories and stuff. And it did make me feel bad about myself.

Well, I don't think people talk enough about like men also have eating disorders.

Like if it was a girl and one of my girlfriends, I'd be like, "Oh my god, like I think something's going on. Like we need to talk." But with him, I was like, I don't know what's happening because no one ever talks about this is this. This is why they have the male loneliness epidemic. They're never talking about things with each other.

Yeah. You just saying no to a quesadilla. That could be super loaded. And I don't know what that means. Is there deeper

I have to do extra work to see if you're eating at night? Like, do you have severe family trauma or you just not in the mood for a quesadilla?

Turning the furbo toward the refrigerator just to see what happens. No, men do have eating issues as well. Um, as someone who's now like deep in the gym community since I launched the fitness channel, um, I got

You're Jane Fonda of this podcast, the most out of shape fond there ever was. But I started I'm getting these gym videos and there's a whole male like influencers of like what is it called when they become really really muscular? Um, wait. Bodybuilders.

Bodybuilding. Yeah. So, like people are like referencing their favorite bodybuilders, but these men are like

I have mine Arnold Schwarzenegger. Yes. Yes. Of course. And everyone like admires him, but everyone's using steroids. Yeah. Which means they like talk openly like how their back is just like full of acne. Yeah.

How they're like angry. I know what the girls are doing. They're getting hyaluronic acid butt injections. I've have sources. I have girls. All the girls are getting away with saying, "I'm not on ompic. I'm on some this other thing. I don't even know some like peptide or something." And then they're losing so much weight. And then they're getting hyaluronic butt injections.

Is that filler? I No. No. It's like well hyaluronic acid like when you put it on your face it's

plumps something with the moisture like it makes all the moisture go to the hyaluronic acid so like the moisture in your face plumps your skin up

of the week I actually I do pay attention I do listen I do study only when it's regards to beauty

so in your butt it does the same thing and so it makes it like plumper now I don't know how long that lasts if they're like going

maybe like every couple of months. Imagine it's the thing where all the water weight just goes to your

It's essentially that your booty. It's all the water will be attracted to that those places in your butt so your butt looks plumper.

But I don't know. There's something I'm like, "Babe, just use Facetune." Like now I'm on No, literally now I'm back. I'm on Facune.

Let's go old school. Let's go back. Don't inject yourself with stuff. Well, in my brain, and not that I'm a doctor or a scientist, but in my girly brain, I think, and one slip and that gets in your bloodstream, you're done. You're done.

You know, I've retired the needle. I've retired the needle. And anytime they're like, there's a 2% chance that you could like have sepsis, I'm like, that'll happen to me. Did you see that that like Instagram clip or somewhere where someone was like the reason that Giggly Squad does so well is because and it was like this whole formula and I was like do we do that? And then someone this that guy

wait I just saw that video. He was like they don't do anything. This guy was laughing. He's like I love all these people that think Giggly Squad have a strategy. And he goes these [ __ ] are just talking and they have no idea what they're talking about. Well, one of my favorite things on Tik Tok is when we as women take something so not serious, but we speak about it in an extremely serious way. So, like there are a lot of videos of like, and this is why these influencers do better than this and they have it. And I really don't believe in any of that [ __ ]

I 100% agree because people be like, if you want to get famous, do A, B, C, and D. And like if you just had to read a book or like check off a couple boxes to be successful in something, everyone would be successful,

right? Like no one's making these videos. Well, I guess like being an athlete, I guess, is like kind of different, but not really.

I'm a failed athlete. I tried really hard. Same. Why would you bring that up? I don't know. I'm sorry.

No. Why would I bring that up? You told me everybody hated my birthday. Wait, speaking of, we're going to a brunch after this. Are you still coming?

I don't know. You don't know? Well, I just need to get you informed. It's a jazz brunch.

I have a lot of fle. I'm not going. I'm not going. That was brunch. You should have said that while I was in your

You texted me saying, "Do you want to go to brunch?" I saw it was a jazz brunch.

Was like, "What?" I'm not lying. I'm just not telling her. Also, I wore my bathing suit in case we do the pool after.

I'm really not well enough. Yeah. To see your mom and your mom's on planes and your mom's going to see the kids and I don't want to get her sick.

Okay. I love how suddenly you become sick in this moment. She after a whole speech about how she's so much better, she's like And I hear I feel a hankering of a UTI.

I texted you. I said I'm wearing my bathing suit underneath. And you just wrote left my ass off.

Dude, does anyone say that anymore? What if What are you saying back in text message when you're not responding, but you're like, I acknowledge that. That was fun.

I do lol, but no one else does. Sometimes I do lol. Or sometimes I do lol lol. You're good at that.

Or just a haha. And those are all very different. Very different. Very different. But I don't see anyone say lmao and I will forever say lmao.

Why did you laugh? Do you not wear your bathing suit underneath when you go somewhere when you know you might swim?

No, because I'm not eight years old on camera. Also, it might look like this. Amazon bathing suit. So cute.

That is really cute. And you can wear it as a bodysuit. And it might look like I have a slick back hair, but really right now I'm hair oiling and pre have my pre-wash in.

I don't have the capacity for that right now. So, the amount of DMs I got of girls being like, "Uh, my teeth hurt too when I get sick. I thought it was just me." And then I had the doctors come in.

Oh, yeah. I actually got some of those. And they said that I must have enlarged sinuses. I said, "Don't you ever say that the word enlarged."

I was like, "Are you [ __ ] well? My boyfriend's over here not eating cheese quesadillas. Now I have enlarged sinuses. You [ __ ] bitch." No, no. They were

I'm a tiny little specimen. Wait, do you know what makes me feel so [ __ ] dainty?

And I never feel dainty. Yeah. When I'm at the airport and I go to wash my hands and it doesn't pick up on my hands.

Wait. And you're like, "Oh my god, am I just too tiny for this?" Has nothing to do with food or like

No, cuz then I'm looking at everyone else and it's working. I'm like, "Oh no, I'm too little. I'm invisible." Like again, I'm like moving it all around. And I'm like, "Oh, I'm just I'm so You can't even see me. I'm a ghost."

Yeah. No, I like that, too. But also, do do you feel or is it just me where like every time I go, the automatic water doesn't work? Like I always pick the one that doesn't work.

Yeah. And I'm not a fan. I saw one video one time that said like the automatic air

is like rancid or something. Just like it was it's basically was like it's just blowing bacteria at you. M.

So now those freak me out. So I'm like, bring back an old school paper towel. I was just laughing at my bedet experience cuz I realized like cuz I didn't know there was a stop button, you guys. I kept just pressing it again and it was becoming more powerful and I almost catapulted myself out of the toilet. Oh,

I wish beday were more like an American thing. Like every home and it came with a bet.

There was a company called Tushy. They might still be around, but they were like they gave you an attachment. Yeah.

But like I didn't have a boyfriend at the time to attach it. I feel like that's

And I didn't know you like that. Yeah. Because you would have come over with your pink

drill. 100%. Beautiful matching drill out. I'm always I'm I don't know how people don't have a tool box at home. Like I'm always whipping out my measuring tape. Like I have to draw something.

I'm a quitter. Anything that is like longer than a paragraph, I'm like, we're not making it happen.

Like, what did I measure the other day? I had to measure the wall for something.

I go, hold on, let me get my measuring tape. Oh god. Um, oh, also speaking of what we're wearing,

the hallway out here to get to the studio. Squeaky. Mhm. Cuz I wear these shoes all the time. They're not squeaky.

Oh, you're just You just pulled up a rubber wheel. He's right. Those are quite literally those look like the sandals you get in the hospital when they're like, "And now it's time to shower." And you're like, "But both my legs are broken." Like, that is an insane shoe to just to gaslight the [ __ ] out of us.

Are you kidding? Can someone check the floor? Cuz my shoes are squeaking. It's a cool toy. Pull that pull that baby back up. It's like

this is Oh my god. I've never even The producers are like, "Can you not put your dirty ass squeaky

part of a razor scooter?" This is the nicest stretch I've had in years. Yeah, that actually looks good. That feels nice. That looks like It feels good.

My mom made me go to Pilates two times in a row. She's a military operation. No, I hate when they do that.

I hate it. I hate it. She leaves today. Thank god. No, she's someone though that like is genuinely healthy.

She's a healthy human and like eats normal health things without being like a psychopath.

We should get Joe to spend a week with her. She would fix them all week. They would get on the amount of walks those two would go on. They'd walk a marathon.

Well, I said to We didn't talk about the marathon. Oh, yeah. I don't It's none of my business. None of my business. Wait, we didn't talk about Grace side texting me saying, "You should run the marathon next year."

Grace Thompson. Grace. Grace. Thompson text. I said after the Mona event, a girl passed away.

No, I know. No, you're not running the marathon. I'm not running the I said Grace.

No, for all we know, my Wait, I didn't know that the marathon the term marathon. I don't know why I put it in quotes. It's a real word. The word the word allegedly

you know the saying marath you know those marathon people. Did you know that the story of a marathon started in Greece like however [ __ ] many years ago because they would like send messages back and forth to towns and the town of Marathon was like 26.2 miles away from this other town and the guy that was running the messages back and forth ran it and died. So then they started like doing marathons in

It would be so funny if that was like a fake Tik Tok you're just repeating. No, that's I think it's a real thing

and the guy died. And the guy died. I mean this would be back in like 1342. Like I don't

He died from natural causes years later. No, he died like after he delivered the message and then he died

and they go, I just found my new hobby. I want to put Grace on full blast right now cuz I need to find the text.

No, that's insane. And I don't subscribe to marathon running. It's bad for your knees.

Your body can go into shock. Yep. I thought that she was texting me asking if she should do the marathon. To which I said, I don't feel comfortable with that for you.

No, I don't feel comfortable with that. That's to which she responded like, "No, I'm talking about you.

I think you can be a runner and I think you can train to run long periods of time. I don't think there's any situation you need to run a marathon. It scares me." So she wrote, "We're running the marathon next year." No.

I thought she meant she was having coffee with her friend, so I thought it was like some 25-year-old girls.

You were like, "Leave me out of Yeah. So I write quarter life crisis." Yeah. Cuz I was like, "You guys are doing whatever."

Right. I do think it's okay to run the marathon once cuz like you're having a moment.

Sure. So I said quarter life crisis. She goes, "No, you and me." To which I wrote, "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no." And then she didn't respond. So either she's like plotting right now, but I don't

I think she thinks it would be funny for me, but like it's not funny. No, it's not funny.

It's not funny. No, because I'd actually be genuinely wor Have you ever gone and like cheered on?

Yeah, you have. I It is like a good vibe, but like totally I always say in life like if you feel a little envy towards someone like that means that's what you want to do. And I've never once been cheering at the marathon and saw someone running being like, I wish that was me.

Never. I wish that was me out there running and everyone was cheering me on. I've never felt envious of anyone running anywhere. I've never felt envious of any type of athlete.

See, I do like I will see like a WNBA girl and I'll be like in another life if I had like not nubs for fingers and I was tall. I would love to dunk on a [ __ ] The only time I've felt envy in a sports arena is when there's a female coach and she's in a pants suit. And I' I've thought

and she's telling people what they're doing wrong. I thought I You're going to hold a clipboard, yell at someone in a heel, and people listen to me. Hell yeah.

And then the men are normally refs, so you're fighting with the refs. So that's just free male fighting.

Yeah. Like I could think of so many good like you don't Oh, you don't have eyes today. I could literally see you be like, "Girls come together." And you're just doodling on the clipboard.

Like those hearts that random men's last names like Paige Williams fake signatures.

Shout out to all the female coaches. Yeah, you're doing graffiti. What about that one girl that's like the only female coach in all of hockey? She looks like Nikki Blazer.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know what she wears, but I'm going to look. I'm going to see what she wears this year.

I mean, that is so iconic. But okay, tennis. You never saw like a girl in a really cute outfit and just like she's like a a superhero out there.

Not my genre, not my brand. Even like the hockey girls, you ever see a hockey girl come up and she takes she takes off her um helmet and then her hair is like gorgeous and it's like she's multifaceted.

That's literally that's literally my dream to be like score a goal and then be like and she's gorgeous.

Maybe one time in my life a figure skater, but no. Low key, at the end of Mean Girls when she's like hitting everyone with the field hockey stick, I was like, "Okay, I [ __ ] with her now."

No. If anything, I thought about Karen becoming the meteorologist. No. Wait, you never saw Bend It Like Beckham. And when she kicked it and it had the curve and then all the girls were like, "You're the best." You never want to be that.

No. I thought they could have a real They could have a real different wardrobe on this set. That's what I thought. Even the gymnastics movie that like I loved uh Stick It. No.

Wait. Do you know that people say that I remind them of The Girl in Stick It? Do you know that a lot of lesbians say that that was their sexual awakening, that movie?

Oh my god. Which I could kind of see because I remember thinking she was a different brand of girl that I had ever seen in a movie before. Like I feel like I was very used to Princess Diaries and what a girl wants and it's very overly girly and she wasn't.

But athletics is a spectrum. I'm trying to see where I lose you. You're okay with D? Like you want to be on dance team? Like you like cheerleading?

Yes. Do I want to be on the dance team though? Yeah, that's actually a whole different genre.

I don't want to be on the dance team, but I want to watch them. See, cheerleading. I was like, I'm not cheering men chasing their dreams.

Okay, let me Okay, let me stop you there. Let me stop you there. But we weren't doing like competitions and stuff. because I would I would say that cheerleading is just as much if not

I don't want to say more but like if you have you ever gone to a legit cheerleading competition

I watch on ESPN it's okay those [ __ ] are in I mean it should be illegal because the dancing they're triple threat the triple threat

I can't even get into it the dancing the gymnastics the timing and then the fact that they are throwing throwing humans in the air, catching them, no one's breaking their necks. Like, it truly is.

See, we're in we're so different because like when I see a girl on a red carpet, I'm like,

"She had to do three hours of glam and like I hope she likes the photo and like that looks uncomfortable and like when is she going to be able to sit down?" But when I see like a basketball girl like sitting on the sidelines like naturally just like gorgeous and like focused on winning the game, I'm like that's [ __ ] sick. Like that's who I want to be. Like there was a red carpet I think last night that I was like watching.

Yeah, that's stressing me out. And I I I immediately switched over to Pinterest and said, "What is my next red carpet look?

What are my vibes?" Everyone was doing cutouts and this one girl had the cutout of the butt.

Did you see the picture of you with bangs? Well, I don't support AI, so I will not cut.

I didn't make it. We didn't make it. But Oh, yeah. My DMs are flooded. Like everything I'm posting, people go, "This is funny. Would be better with bangs."

Hannah, you looked beautiful. It It kind of like it kind of framed your whole face.

I think you should do it. Would you respect me more? I think the fashion community would.

I think you should do it right before MSG. We do it on stage at MSG. I think you should.

Oh my god. You know, like those master classes. We bring Mitchell out. We bring Mitchell out. Like a master class of how to cut bangs. No. Can I just let you know that MSG has actually turned into like a really scary place.

I'm getting calls from people's pe other people other people's people. Other people's people to be like, "How do we get on stage?

How do we get a time slot?" Had two drinks at her birthday party when you guys I wanted to be there. I physically couldn't. I was in Miami and [ __ ] went ary. She promised everyone five minutes at MSG. So

I go, "What's your talent?" Yeah, sure. What's your talent? Wait, you had a full audition and girls were coming in doing the Irish jig and you were like, "Okay, I think Hannah will like that."

Clarinet starts from 6:00 to 6:05. No, it's turning into a variety show. It is going to be a variety show. We just like you guys, we have to be sticklers. Also, Nana needs time. I talked to Nana today and I said, she's always like,

we always have to give Nana something to live for. That's what giggling squad is to give Nana something to.

She goes, "Hello." I said, "How are She goes, "Still kicking, but who knows for how long." And I said, "Can you can you kick till February because MSG?" She goes, "Oh, I hope I look good for MSG. What am I going to wear?" Oh, okay. I'll I'll I'll stay going till MSG. I need to see Shana how to do Pinterest. I feel like she'd love that.

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Yeah, cuz you like a coat to be part of the outfit. Not not ruining the outfit, but also I hate when you put on coats and then you're like stiff. I You guys, I literally could swim in this.

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Did you watch the whole video? I was sobbing. So Hannah's sister-in-law is about to have her third baby, and I was like, see

like she's going to pop. Yeah, I was like watching one of her TikToks and I was like, oh my god, I got to send her pajamas before this baby walks out of her body. They don't know what they're having, right?

No, they like to be surprised. They're they're fun. So, whatever. I sent her a bunch of Hannah stuff, but then I sent her the one top that like the girls have been saying is easy for breastfeeding.

And Oh, yeah. Cuz it's just one bow. It's just one bow and then it's open. And so Jeie took a video of it like trying this stuff on and then she pans to Lois like, "What do you think?" And Lois is like, "I love it."

She goes, "I like the bow." She goes, "Can you wear this actually forever and ever and ever and never take it off?"

And she goes, "I want to wear it cuz I want to show my stomach a little. She knew showing her stomach a little was like crazy. So, she like looked at her mom like that'd be crazy, but like I'd look so good. And that if my daughter doesn't come out being like, "Look at that bow." Like, then I'm going to be like, "Not my daughter."

I didn't know what a bow was until like 3 years ago. No. Like the fact that she looked at it and knew the Yeah. It's literally innate talent

that she And also, I FaceTimed her this morning and she said, "Change your outfit to me." Cuz I was wearing my pajamas. I said, "Lo, it's 7:30 a.m. I'm sorry I don't have a full fit."

Yeah. She's like, "When you talk to me on the phone, you need a fit." I can't wait for Lois to get a phone. So,

Do you know how many times I want to send her a meme? I have to send it to Genie to show her. It's like exhausting. I'm like, "Let me just text Lois."

No, I really need my brother to have a child so I can like Well, she asked me, she's like, "Hannah, when are you having a baby?"

And I was like, "Um, I don't know. What should I name it?" And she was like, "Lois, I was like, period obsessed self-love. Like, I love you." And then I said, "Well, if I have a kid, like, who's going to watch it?" And she like looked at me. I'm like, "Would you babysit?" And she was like, "Yeah." Cuz she loves being like a mom. Yeah. And I said, "How much will you charge?"

And she said, "$28." A fair price. Fair. A fair shake. A family disc. When I was growing up, it was like 15 an hour, but it's gone up to 28 hours. never babysat.

Oh yeah, we've we've had this we've had this conversation cuz mom saw you and they were like

they were like she's be the perfect babysitter. And I'm like [ __ ] you and your kids.

I could see you running the baby baby babysitting ring ring. This sounds so cynical, but like other people's kids and dogs I don't care.

Mhm. I don't care. But for some reason other people's cats slash just any cat ever

queen. Perfect. I love everyone's cats. You want to know what it is? probably now having a cat for 3 years. I don't consider having a cat having a pet. Like, yes, you're in control of your dog, any type of breed. You're in control of like your hamster. I don't know what other what people have.

My cat's in control of me. My cat is her own independent being. I mean, she pays taxes for God's sakes.

Deafany has paid taxes. So, like when I call her and she doesn't come, I'm not like offended. I'm like, she's busy. She's doing things.

One thing that sucks about these celebrity interviews is it's become a thing where people ask like, "Cats or dogs?" And I hate when they do that, especially with celebrities I like, cuz now I'm like, "Oh, no. If they say they hate cats, like, I can't respect them anymore." You've never held a cat's face in your hand and just been like

until it popped off like and it's just they have really bad PR because dogs love everyone and cats choose who they love.

Dogs don't love everyone. Who started spreading that rumor? It needs to be a safe space that like

He did another thing. So sometimes does he know how to listen to podcast? No, but the other day he was like maybe I should tune into Giggly Squat and I was like don't ever do that. It's not for you. This is my personal diary.

You're like, "Okay, privacy." I'm like, "Oh, just go through my phone, why don't you?"

You're like, "Yes, do I go through your phone?" Yes, but you're not going through my phone. And that's giggly squad.

That is literally that's just a safety hazard. Yeah. That's just gun control for America. Going through men's phone is like that's it should be in the Constitution. You have to make sure they're not doing anything insane. Bunch of men aren't allowed to have their own phones.

They shouldn't. They shouldn't. It should be monitored by Looks what happens. Looks what Look what happens.

No, men's phone should be monitored by the government. But Ruby, just saying. Oh, you're talking about Joe with dogs.

Okay. So, one of my biggest pet peeves and not like not for myself because I consider myself a pretty easygoing person, but like when I'm in public, I am weary of the other people around cuz I don't I don't know how they're going to react to things. So, Joe will have

You're such a [ __ ] empath. Thanks. I'm trying to not get into a fight publicly, you know, like like in the middle of a CVS. So Joe will like bring the dog places and on the leash and the dog will like go up to some people and then like lick the bottom of their leg. And I'm like, "Oh my god, pull the dog back." And he'll look at me and be like, "Everyone loves this dog." And I'm like, "Not everyone loves this dog. You don't know that though. What if that person is allergic to dogs?

What if you don't want to get licked?" Then I find myself on a Tuesday, then I find myself being on like the opposite side being like, "No, me for example, if your dog came up to me at a coffee shop, licked my leg, I'd look at you and being like, get your dog away from me."

100%. And I do want to say there are gigglers with dogs and we love animals in general, and we love those gigglers, too. They just haven't had a cat yet.

Yeah. Like people message me and be like, "Sorry, I have a dog." Don't apologize.

No, don't apologize. You have a dog. You're on a We all start somewhere. And I don't judge anyone for where they are.

It's not where you came from. It's where you're going. It's where you end up. Don't be ashamed of your past. It's who you It's It's making you who you are

and we're here for. We're glad we caught you at the beginning of the journey, but someone was actually complaining that she was on her phone

and this guy had his dog off leash. Now, I don't [ __ ] with the dogs off leash. Not that I don't trust you.

Call the police. No. Get a cool as someone who used to foster pit bulls who some of them had behavioral issues with other dogs which I get like

Well, I think having your dog off leash leash, you're very trusting of random people. That's what I'm saying. It's not about you your own trusting your own dog.

Exactly. I trust that you think your that your dog is safe. What if my dog isn't and your dog loosely comes up to my dog

and now my dog has to eat it and Yeah. And now my dog just had breakfast. Yeah. So this woman said there's a dog off leash comes running at her and she's on her phone. So she just kind of ignores it because she's like I don't want I don't want to engage in whatever is about to happen right now. Like

sorry I don't have time to speak with you. Talk and the owner made like a snide remark.

The dog coming up like we're here to talk about your car's warranty. Do you care about global warming?

The dog what? The dog comes up and she ignores the dog because she's like on the phone and didn't sign up to like

Hold on. Should we answer my dad? Oh. Oh my god. Tell him I talked about him. Oh, wait. No, I didn't.

Dad. Cash on. Cash on. Speak of the devil. Speak of the devil. I'm doing Giggly Squad.

Do you have anything to say, Gary, to the community? I got a lot to say. Yeah. Well, zip it up. No, we can't. That's a lie. Oh, Gary has the giggles.

Okay, goodbye. Call you again. Me and him chatted yesterday. Prime example. No, that was crazy. He called you to say, "Where's Cash?"

That was the No, that was the first thing. I'm not being over I'm not exaggerating. That's the first thing he said to me.

So, this Wait, the universe is so weird. Anyway, so this dog comes running at her. She I think ignoring a dog is very polite.

Totally. Like she didn't kick your dog, so she And some of them are right at your [ __ ] ing on the ground with your dog that I don't know.

Continues walking like, "Excuse me, pardon me." And he, the guy makes a remark.

I don't want to be Mormon. Thank you. Sorry. I believe in Halloween. Everyone can celebrate.

I've witnessed Jehovah. Whatever you need. So, the guy made a comment like, "Oh, someone's like doesn't

I've witnessed Jehovah. I'm all good. I already witnessed him." Thank you so much.

Jehovah has witnessed in my book. love that for you. Um, like I forget what the guy said actually, but he said something like, "Oh, you you're not going to pet my dog."

Like he put her he gas lit her to be like, "She's a bitch." When she's like, "I didn't ask for any of this right now. Like, I'm just trying to get from point A to point B and she's on the phone."

And what if your dog has fleas? It's like, let's say there was a toddler and a toddler ran up to you while you're on the phone. You'd be like, "Uh, no. Mom's on the phone. Mom's mom's on the phone."

Yeah. And the same rhetoric and you're lucky I didn't kick it. If my dog ran up to someone while they were on the phone, I would say sorry. I would say sorry. So there's like a different dynamic of people. And some people they love their dog so much they're like that was in his culture that was an honor. Like

it's a bit entitled and it's a bit misogynistic. And if hating cats is misogynistic then maybe loving dogs is too. And hey, we're just the messengers. We're just the marathon runner. I feel like if Grace went through every episode and cut up all of our like cat dog conversation,

we'd be at about eight hours. Eight hours for sure. It's important rhetoric that the same point every day.

We always get to say, but there was an interview where they were like, "Yeah, dogs are cats and I'm watching. I'm like, I want to enjoy this person's movies, so like please just say like a

even say I like both." Yeah. Yeah. Even don't stand for anything and I'm okay with that.

I like both. I just live with both a cat and a dog and I can tell you unanimously who's more annoying.

The woman said like it's actually not comparable cuz dogs are pets and cats are humans.

Like cats could have ran for governor in this election. They just didn't want to. They were busy.

But they could have. Also, if you look at a cat, you they're not going to mishandle something.

No, you could just tell they're going to be thoughtful. They're going to they're going to ask permission. But one thing I really loved about Asia is like they [ __ ] with cats. Like it's crazy because America just is a community that doesn't [ __ ] with cats. I was like walking and there's all these like cat cafes and then like cat like hotels to like leave your cat when you're gone. Cat grooming. We don't have that in America.

Cat healthcare in Asia. Your cat checks into a hotel on its own, gets a room. And they have all these everything like cat toys. Like cats are like famous in Asia.

I love that. They're a big deal overseas. So like America just hasn't like discovered it.

Just hasn't caught up yet. Yeah, they haven't caught up. So anyway, just our anyh little

lobbying for cats. I love when we do episodes on Sundays because I feel like it starts my week off right.

I have drama. Yeah. Dane Cook documentary came out. Oo. I saw a commercial for it that he like asked his brother to do it and the brother said yes and then like last minute said no. Oh, I didn't know that part.

Cuz he was like, I'm going to be the one interviewing you. And he was like, but we're going to talk about everything, not just you stealing all my money.

So, for people who don't know, Dane Cook was like the biggest thing ever. Mhm. Dane Cook's standup special at MSG in the circle.

Wait, is that at MSG? I think so. Yeah. In the circle stage was, I think, the first standup I've ever watched.

I think so, too. We were like 13-year-old girls at the time. And he did the double [ __ ] you. And

my CDs are in his car. My CDs are in his car. Yeah, it was it was iconic. That's an iconic standup.

And he talked about coming up where like he was trying to do some acting and then he's like, "Hollywood doesn't need me. I'm just like a regular dude. Like it's not working."

Good luck. Chuck was I think a hilarious, but this was before. And then he discovered MySpace and that's where he started to pop off. And then he put out people back then put out comedy albums. So, he put out a comedy album that was like ranking with Beyonce and he starts blowing up and finally, it was a big deal back then. Yeah. To get a special. So, HBO finally was like, "We're going to get you the special." And he films the special. Hollywood Comes Calling. He's with Jessica Alba. He's with Jessica Simpson. All the hottest Jessica you've ever heard of. He did all those movies.

What was the 2000s? If you weren't named Jessica, if you weren't named Jessica, you were ugly pieces of [ __ ]

Sorry. Sorry. And it wasn't Jess or Jesse. It was Jessica. It was Jessica. Jessica.

Yeah. Um they were gorgeous. Like otherworldly. And then he even had like a serious movie with Kevin Coer. Like he was the comic of the moment

and he was making tens of millions of dollars. In the meantime, his brother wanted to be a cop.

If I had to date a grandpa, it would be a Kevin Cosner. Hot. Okay, keep going. Hot. Very hot. I love that for you. Thanks.

That's your zatty of the week. I need to stop doing those things. Kevin, no. Kevin Gosner's hot.

Yeah, a hot for an old guy. I mean, he's old. Yeah, it's got to be my like It's got Sorry, I was going to say it's got to be my parents age, but then I remember they listened to this and that's sad. I didn't mean that. But he's got to be like 65

maybe. I'm so into him for you. Thanks. Does he have a dog? No, he loves blondes.

Does he? I looked into it a couple years ago. Yeah, this would be Oh, you've done full research into the fine.

You've married him and divorced him in your head already. So, um, his brother wanted to be a cop.

Didn't pass the test. Who are we talking about again? Oh, Dink. Dink's brother. Also, like I never heard of anyone not passing the cop test, but

but if you didn't pass, then maybe maybe that's not your journey. So, the next step, like he still wanted to be in law enforcement. Um, so he became a corrections off officer.

I don't like this pipeline. I don't like that pipeline. I don't like it either. And he's he's one of these guys that's really Everyone just said he's so nice.

I don't trust that at all. Like so polite, so sweet. I've never met a nice man.

Why do I say polite like that? I was like, he's polite, he's sweet, he loves the Bible. He was just like a really sweet but like inauthentic kind of character.

Like he puts on like I'm a nice guy. Like he's a nice guy. He he went on a date and she said he kept calling me miss. Like it was weird. I don't like that at all. That's call the police.

Yeah. So he's a corrections officer while I was going to say Dez. Sorry. Dne. Although what is a Okay. Anyway. Yeah. So Dne is

Dane Cook. I can't just say Dne. Yeah. I don't know who that is. Yeah. I agree.

So Dane Cook is like trying to become a comic. He's a corrections officer. He gets in a horrible act. Like he gets attacked by an inmate.

Blood everywhere. Gets a concussion. And Dane is like, "I don't want you doing this anymore. I'm going to put you on my payroll even though it's tight. I'm going to pay you good money. I want you to be safe. Come on tour with me and just like manage my money."

Great. But this guy's not coming from like I mean couldn't didn't pass the police test.

Yeah. I don't know if there were numbers involved, but still not great on paper. And I guess it was like pay my taxes or like at least connect with people who know how to pay my taxes, pay my bills, just keep an eye on

like a manager who's doing admin. He was Yeah. Just keep an eye on like nothing too crazy. He's not like trading stocks, but keep an eye on my money cuz you're my brother.

And come on tour with me. And he does say his brother like instilled confidence in him when he was low on tour.

He's younger than Dne. He's older than Dane. He's older than Dane. Oh, it's a that's and that's a tough dynamic I feel. Yeah, because he looked up to him and and he was like, "This is great. Me and my brother are traveling the world." And he really was like, "My brother was a part of my success to an extent."

So then when you're on tour, like life, you get it. Life pauses. Like, so you're in a time warp.

So meanwhile, Dne realizes that his brother is buying houses. Like he had a house, then he bought another house in Maine. Meanwhile, Dne doesn't have a house.

Okay. So Dne is busy working. Yeah. while the other guy's like on vacation. Vacation.

So, finally everything settles for a second and DNE's like, I want to buy this house on in the hills in Hollywood. And he said he's standing with his brother. They're looking out at in this big mansion. And he looks at him like, can I do it? Like, can I afford this? And the brother was like, "Yes, like you deserve this. Like, this let's get you a great home." Mhm.

It gets to the point where Dane finally is like, "Oh, I need like a real money manager to like work on investing and stuff." And the money manager is like, "Great." So, this was like back in the day. He was like, "Can you send the file cabinet?"

Yeah. Back then. Yeah. Like the paper f Yeah. They literally were like, "We need you to mail the cabinet with all the the papers in it."

And his brother was like, "Okay." But his brother calls him and he's like, "I don't [ __ ] like these guys." And Dne's like, "What's what's wrong?" He doesn't trust them.

Yeah. He's like, "They're top industry. Like, this is important." And the brother's like, "I don't trust them." And Dane's like, "I need you to calm down. This is like not controversial."

Yeah. And the brother's acting [ __ ] weird. But he's like, "Okay, I'll send them the file cabinet."

Which is so funny to envision. Like, how do Anyway, I'd be like, I don't know how to send mail, so we're not going to get it. So, the guy's like, "Where is where are these files?" And it's like one week, two week, three week. And then finally Dne's brother stops responding.

Oh, he goes to his own brother. He goes to his own brother. So Dne starts to get like bad anxiety. Like

how do you get Did he get this house? Not yet. Okay. So in the middle of the night, Dne's like waking up. He's like, "Something's [ __ ] off." And he really

That's when you know if you ever if you wake up in the middle of the night, honestly, I think back to like being little. Did you ever watch Maline?

Yeah. Remember when the the If you go like this in the middle of the night, what was her name? Miss Cleavell, like the teacher. And she would wake up in the middle of the night because something was not right.

I think of that every time I wake up in the middle of the night and I'm like, "Yes, something's not right, but and it's I'm right that it's not right." And you have

your subconscious woke you up. You're a witch. You're a witch. You're a witch. So, he's waking up in the middle of the night and he decides to go to the bank,

but he's so millennial with it. They're like, "Hey, what's your like codes?" and he's like, "I don't know. I want to see my money." So, his brother sent him some like identification. The woman's like,

"None of the identification is coming up on my thing, but I know who you are, and I do have your accounts up,

but I like can't show you them without you giving me like the correct passwords, and you're not." Yeah.

And she goes, "But I'm going to go to the bathroom for 10 minutes, and then I'm going to come back."

Stop. Cuz she's I've always wanted something like this to happen to me. Not someone stealing my money, but I've always wanted someone to be like, and I'm going to look away.

Like, I wanted to be in a situation where I'm like, I need that address. Yeah, that's what I always think whenever there's like a problem like customer service- wise when I'm like, hey. Instead, they're like, no, we can't help you. And they hang up.

So, he goes and looks and she has four accounts up or something. zero dollars, zero dollars, and something with like a hundred grand in it, but like he's made like tens of millions of dollars. So, he's like, "Oh, fuck." And then his brother is on the run. Like, he's like in a car somewhere just on the run. And but also within this time, Dne's mother passed away and his father passed away of cancer within this year. And he just found out his brother's left him for dead and taken all he's worth.

So no other siblings, just the two of them. There are there like two other step siblings. Okay.

But like it's diabolical and I fell asleep at that part. What year did this all happen? Like 200. This had to have been like 2005,

early 2000s. So I do tend to fall asleep at like the most intense parts cuz So you'll finish it where they So I'll finish it tonight. I'm assuming cuz like that it must have emotionally like really [ __ ] him up. But I know he got the FBI involved and he gets a call from his brother like full Oscar worthy acting being like, "Dane, what did you do? Why is the FBI coming for me? What's happening? What did you do to me?" Like literally

Yeah. gaslighting him. Yeah. And then there's drama because they don't know if the wife was involved or not of his brother's wife.

Well, yeah. She was the brains. Well, she's if I had to take a gander, the woman was the brain.

So, she does the interview and she's just like, I didn't know anything. Even though it was like going into her business LLC, they went into her house in Maine and opened

a Picasso. No, they opened the lock and it was hundreds of thousands of dollars in the wall. And she's like, "Where'd that come from?"

In the wall. She was like, "That's that's crazy. That's suspicious. That's suspicious. Imagine a woman not knowing something in her home.

The butler opens the door and you're like, "Yeah, that's the thing. I would love to believe that she was innocent and just trusting her husband, but like we know this guy's not the sharpest tool in the shed."

Yeah. Also, she claimed that she was a witch. Oh. So, I was like, she Yeah. Yeah. She took all that money.

She put it in the wall. So, anyway, um Wow. What is this on? It just got on Netflix.

Oh my god. I need It's called Funny Money. So, and so I would assume they don't I would assume they still don't speak. Yeah. Because he said that he asked him to do the interview.

And Hollywood is just the wild wild west where like when you start getting successful like you're not part of a company where they're like, "Yeah, now you got a promotion and this is what happens." Like you're just on your own and people are competitive so they don't tell you like, "Thank God we have each other."

Yeah. As in like this business. because a lot of people are just on their own being and getting taken advantage of. You know, I could so see how people get like swindled and tricked cuz like if someone from I don't know and I'm like JP Morgan calls you and says something like who am I to be like no you're wrong you know like it's takes a lot of

I fully like got scammed the other week cuz I was donating to fake cat Yeah causes and then this someone called me like from AMX or something and I was in like a fiveminute conversation with them.

Wait, this happened to me this week too. Someone from my bank called me and I was like I don't believe you and she was like

finally she goes okay then call the actual number of the bank and then it will connect you to my department like I can't tell you to prove I don't think I was

you go again [ __ ] you're not going to get me this oh yeah Tracy sure that's your name she goes yep that's my name I don't want to do this job

yeah Okay. I go, "Send me an email then." She goes, "I actually can't do that, but I can." And I'm like, "No, but that's why scammers are." So, I my mom was with me and she's like, "Who are you talking to?" And I'm looking, I'm like, "I don't know what this is." And the guy was like, "Someone took a um" He was trying to say there was fraud on my card and you know, sometimes that hap and I had like something had happened earlier that made me worried. So, they were like,

"Someone made a purchase in Indianapolis. Was that you?" So, I just responded. I was like, "No, it wasn't me." And they're like, "Okay." Okay. And this is what and so he just like gets you on it and my mom walks in. She's like,

"Hang up on that person and then I'm like alone with her and she's like, "What do you do when I'm not around?" And I'm like, "I DON'T KNOW. I don't know." She was like,

"No, I'm going to get scammed as an old person." Well, with AI, like it's going to be

No, I like have been on TikTok recently and I've like clicked the comments and they're like, "I'm so mad this is AI." And I'm like, "Oh my god." Also, what's bad is someone will do something like really [ __ ] like a really cute cat will do something and someone goes, "This is AI." And I'm like, "But that wasn't like give proper credit."

Yeah. No, I get that. Oh my god. Side note, just random. Do you know Leonard Skard isn't a person, it's a band?

Did I know that? No. Off the top of my head. Did you know Leonard Skard? I've heard the

I thought that was I thought that was a man. Yeah, I thought that was a guy. I thought that was a guy with a cowboy hat.

I thought that was Leonard. I thought that was Lenny. Like what? That's all I know.

When it comes to that genre of like Leonard Skinner when you have to say the name in an accent. Leonard Skinner.

Yeah. That like Kiss. There's like one more that Mly Crew. Sure. That I'm like not my not my business.

The thing that made it my business was Rock of Love, but like it's still not my business.

Brett Michaels. Brett Michaels was in one of those. I think again like not none of my business not my genre not my

they could be yelling I'm sorry I don't need men yelling is not a genre of music

no I could just call up any ex-boyfriend like not a genre I could just go back to reality

harmonized for years if I put my mind to it like I've never been like you know it would make this more enjoyable if there was a man with a microphone yelling

screaming at me his emotions. But then I'm like in a in a way for you guys to wear makeup and act like it's

there's no reason to wear eyeliner in any of these shows. No. I was on history Tik Tok that said that back in the day pink was a masculine color cuz it was like it started with red cuz red was like powerful and then it was like washed out red became like cool and then

Oh, and you think my marathon Tik Tok was fake? This sounds like the fakest fact ever. like colonial men like

we're wearing pink. We're wearing pink. Okay. And they were also wearing wigs and white makeup.

Makes sense. But then they said somehow it got switched. But it's all marketing. It's like the diamond industry. Someone was like, "You need to buy diamonds." And the reason like blue and pink have genders to them is because the baby industry was like, "We have to make people buy more clothes if they have a different gender." No, you can't trust anyone anymore.

No, you can't trust anyone. I'm literally looking behind my back all day. I'm like,

that is really Do you know how to spell Leonard Skard? It's crazy. Can I read it to you?

Yeah. L Y. No. Already. I'm out. I'm out. Check, please. Did you ever make it in like the spelling be in like middle school?

I did, but I remember like how far how far like I was like smart. Like they took you out of the classroom and put you on stage.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, you made it out of the classroom? Yeah, babe. I'm a performer. I'm getting on the stage. But I remember like I don't think I won it all. And I remember the word was like actually I think I lost on like government or something cuz I didn't do the N.

That's a trick one to this day. Like I remember when I lost from a young age. Yeah.

Like I was like how do I show my face in school again? I lost in the semi-finals. Like everyone's talking about me and I'm like I go home and my dad's like how was your day and I'm like I don't [ __ ] YOU TALKING ABOUT IT.

IT WAS LIKE the one time I would be sitting in the audience like watching people on stage and like I feel like I was experiencing anxiety then and didn't know it. Like I would have a relief being in the audience thinking

that's how I feel watching a marathon. Yeah. Thinking thank god I don't have to get up there and spell in front of people.

But spelling sometimes I would purposely be sick on spelling bday. Spelling bees like they had a time where they were really popular on TV.

Yes. Remember they would like cover them on ESPN. Remember Kiki Palmer's Aquila the Be Yes. Yeah. It was like cool to be like what is the origin of that word?

Yeah. And I don't even know where one studies that us. You made it to the stage and I was like pretending to be sick that day. I was I just did well because I was competitive and focused, but I wasn't actually like

I think I can distinctly remember in like sixth grade being like, "Mom, it's like spelling bday. I have to stay home."

I did I have to um confess something of I was like a really great older sister, possibly the best older sister. Um I don't know if he would say the same, but the way I would bully him, my little brother,

is like he actually when he was young wasn't good at spelling. Mhm. And like I would be when you know when you're in the back seat with your sibling like it's like

you're locked in. Like we're going to [ __ ] around. Yeah. Like I can Gary always got to sit in the front, but whatever.

We'd be in the back and I'm like, he can't go anywhere. I can annoy the [ __ ] out of him. So I remember eating chips one day and him being like, can I have a chip? And I was like, spell school.

Oh my god. The way I would have slapped you. He's he's literally fighting for his life and I'm like spell scissor.

And look now, is he a very successful smart man? Yes. And when I like take full credit, but looking back I'm like that was awesome.

Do you remember when we were little there were those commercials for Hooked on Phonx? You should have been the star of my brother would be like they paid your commercials on. I'd be like he would call me Hooked on Phonics. Whatever happened to the 1877 cars for kids? Where are those kids now?

They're somewhere. That's Somebody dressed up as them for Halloween actually. I hate gay Halloween

and they were like all singing the song. Someone was like, "Can we stop saying I hate gay Halloween and just let gay people be gay?"

She was funny. She was like joking. Um I love that. Any final thoughts? Any final thoughts um

to leave people with for the week ahead? You know, can I just can I just say Yeah. I I think we're we should lean into pencil skirts. What chapstick are you wearing right now? Is this the best your lips have ever looked?

You guys, let me give you my formula right now. I'm using lovely wonders lip. It's a dye.

Never heard of her. Wonders skin lip. Um, what's it called? What dyes your lips?

Oh, uh, yeah. Thank you. Wonders skin lip stain shade lovely. Okay. And then you're in the lip stain game.

Look, I've been bullied, harassed online for so long. Oh, they look great. Thank you. And then I put they have lip liner stain

and I use the shade [ __ ] I don't want to get it wrong like whimsical or something. I'll put in the newsletter. Yeah. And then I put some

Oh, so chapstick on top. It looks like you just have chapstick on. Like that was my goal. Yeah, cuz you know in the morning you don't want to look like you have lipstick on.

Oh, no. You look great. You don't look like you for I feel like you don't look like you have lipstick on. Yours looks beautiful and natural. I feel like I look chalky.

No, you don't. But your lips look really good right now. Thank you. And that's what I'd like to leave the gigglers with for the week.

Thank you. Love you guys. Talk to you later. I'm going to go swimming in my bathing suit. Bye.

Questions about this episode

Who speaks in "Giggling about fraud, facetune, and jazz brunch with Hannah Berner and Paige DeSorbo"?

Hannah Berner (Host), Paige DeSorbo (Guest).

What is "Giggling about fraud, facetune, and jazz brunch with Hannah Berner and Paige DeSorbo" about?

The excerpt centers on lighthearted, humorous banter between two hosts as they discuss personal quirks, relationships, and everyday relatable moments—from quirky texted questions and culinary obsessions to playful digs at each other’s habits and moods. It emphasizes candid, informal storytelling and spontaneous humor rather than structured topics.

What is mentioned in this Giggly Squad episode?

43 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Hannah Berner, Paige DeSorbo, Giggly Squad, Marathon, Dane Cook, Madison Square Garden. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "Giggling about fraud, facetune, and jazz brunch with Hannah Berner and Paige DeSorbo"?

The episode runs 1 h; the transcript is about 12,636 words in 377 timestamped sections.

More from Giggly Squad

About this transcript: the episode's spoken words as captioned on YouTube, split into timestamped sections. Reclip.Me locates every person, work and idea in the text, keeps the time it is first named, and quotes the words around it verbatim. Last updated November 10, 2026.