Transcript

Be The First. Be The Bold. Be The Real You. | Jamie Kern Lima

From Jamie Kern Lima · Episode page · Watch on YouTube

· 1 h 24 min · 15,797 words · 146 timestamped sections

This is the full, timestamped transcript of "Be The First. Be The Bold. Be The Real You. | Jamie Kern Lima", an episode of Jamie Kern Lima published October 22, 2025 (1 h 24 min, about 15,797 words). It mentions 67 people, works and ideas, including Worthy, You're Not Crazy, You're Just First, Self-Worth, IT Cosmetics, Believe It.

What is discussed, and when

  1. – 10:00: You're Not Crazy, You're Just First, IT Cosmetics, Self-Worth, Worthy
  2. – 20:00: You're Not Crazy, You're Just First, Authenticity, Worthy, Addiction
  3. – 30:00: IT Cosmetics, Ulta Beauty, Believe It, Growth Day Morning Show
  4. – 40:00: Motivation Manifesto, Alicia Keys, Impostor Syndrome, IT Cosmetics
  5. – 50:00: Worthy, Growth Day Morning Show, Motivation Manifesto, Self-Worth
  6. – 1:00:00: L'Oréal, Believe It, IT Cosmetics, Limiting beliefs
  7. – 1:10:00: Worthy, Believe It, Self-Worth
  8. – 1:20:00: Worthy, Self-Worth, Addiction, Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate...
  9. – 1:24:00: Believe It, IP ownership, Trademark

Notable quotes from "Be The First. Be The Bold. Be The Real You. | Jamie Kern Lima"

  • You're not crazy, you're just first. All right, I want you to hear me out on this because this is a life-changing concept and it's also true. So, you might be thinking, What do you mean I'm first?
    about You're Not Crazy, You're Just First · at
  • First. So, hear me out. And I go into this really deep into how to embrace this fully and worthy. There's a whole chapter and a poem called You're Not Crazy, You're Just First.…
    about Worthy · at
  • You're doing it authentically to you, no one's ever done it, right? Like when I built It Cosmetics, there was thousands of makeup companies doing thousands of foundations and…
    about IT Cosmetics · at
  • Business, in relationships, and in fulfillment in life, that while authenticity alone doesn't automatically guarantee success, inauthenticity guarantees failure. Right? So, I'm…
    about Authenticity · at
  • The first to cheer yourself on and truly believe it, not just fake it, knowing that most people won't cheer you on until after you make it. The first to stand up for the outcast and say, Stop teasing. I just won't. You might be.
    about Believe It · at
  • I haven't heard the story. in the Growth Day Morning Show. So, yeah, here's so, we're doing a big event Monday, so I flew cross country. I am near Miami and.
    about Growth Day Morning Show · at
  • Your book, Believe It. The nose, like the first pitch that you got from L'Oreal to buy It Cosmetics.
    about L'Oréal · at
  • And some of those books became like literally industry or field defi like defining genres like motivation manifesto is still to this day the bestselling motivation title of the century which is insane to think about.
    about Motivation Manifesto · at

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

  • Megan Markle — Person · 1 mention · first at
    The book Oprah interviewed me for her magazine. That's the book that, Megan Markle puts in her top five books of all time. That's the book that, it's the the the thing at the…
  • Reese Witherspoon — Person · 1 mention · first at
    Other things. Anyway, we go there and you know there's all these and they're super sl like Julia Roberts and Reese Witherspoon and you know Jeff Bezos is literally there from Amazon. It's just wait Brennan Bashard was there.
  • Punksatani Phil — Person · 1 mention · first at
    No, that's the thing. I totally Denise and I totally don't feel like we're sitting like they're next to Dr. Phil during the her talk and and like all these Alicia Keys is on…
  • Alicia Keys — Person · 1 mention · first at
    Sitting like they're next to Dr. Phil during the her talk and and like all these Alicia Keys is on stage. It's just crazy. Unbelievable out in the it one of the most magical…
  • Jack Canfield — Person · 1 mention · first at
    Comes around and I'm standing there. I think I was with I think I was with Gabby and Marie Forio and Jack Canfield. oh gosh, I'm blinking.
  • Arianna Huffington — Person · 1 mention
  • Bill Guthy — Person · 1 mention
  • Brendon Burchard — Person · 1 mention
  • Gabby Bernstein — Person · 1 mention
  • Greg Renker — Person · 1 mention
  • Harvey Mackay — Person · 1 mention
  • Marie Forleo — Person · 1 mention
  • Sarah Blakely — Person · 1 mention

Books & papers

Companies & orgs

Products & tech

Concepts & topics

  • Self-Worth — Concept · 10 mentions · first at
    In for a minute because when you embrace your firstness, it not only helps build really, really strong self-worth, but it can change how bravely you show up in the world as who…
  • Self-doubt — Concept · 4 mentions · first at
    The first boss in your company to say, I deal with self-doubt, too. The first mom to say, No, I'm not okay, and I don't know what to do.
  • Authenticity — Concept · 2 mentions · first at
  • Addiction — Concept · 2 mentions · first at
    Your dreams off of the shelf. The first to believe you're worthy of betting on yourself. The first to beat addiction to live life sober and awake. The first to break that…
  • Limiting beliefs — Concept · 2 mentions · first at
    80% of women, 73% of men experience a lot of serious self-doubt and a lot of limiting beliefs. you talked about obviously, one of your biggest it seems like one of your biggest issues was rejection, this fear of rejection. Would you walk.
  • Personal authenticity — Concept · 2 mentions
  • Personal narrative — Concept · 2 mentions
  • Social proof — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    They're not going to believe something's going to work if they've never seen it work before. If there's no social proof it's going to work. So, if you're doing something that…
  • God-sized dreams — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    Growing up and then even later in my teens and 20s, even in my 30s, I would share some of my big, bold, God-sized dreams with people around me, and they would call me words…
  • Burnout — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    But also just so that life doesn't feel like a slog and a burnout experience where just every day you're just that's mindset. that the tasks of the world aren't you and the tasks of the world don't need to shape your.
  • Infomercial — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    We got that meeting with Gessie Ranker and we became the most successful makeup infomercial they've ever done and we are like right now at this moment and I was standing there…
  • Impostor Syndrome — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    Been invited to my life. And we just we're sitting there. We're not having imposter syndrome, but we're also we're just recognizing wow, this is another caliber of group of people here.
  • Superman — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    Reading from it. The late great Larry King reading from it. the character the guy actor who played Superman Ben Miss Universe like all these people are reading the Harvey Mccay…
  • Fear of rejection — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    Your biggest it seems like one of your biggest issues was rejection, this fear of rejection. Would you walk us through sort of your experience with what some of your biggest limiting beliefs were and how you overcame those?
  • Self-confidence — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    You're just not quite enough, that is a self-worth thing. You can build confidence, self-confidence all day long, that is how you see your skills and abilities as a person, but…
  • IP ownership — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    The unsexy stuff that gets your right that gets your foundation in place that you can stand on from your IP ownership to your trademark. s to your formula ownership. Get that…
  • Trademark — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    That gets your foundation in place that you can stand on from your IP ownership to your trademark. s to your formula ownership. Get that stuff in place because when you try to…
  • Disassociation — Concept · 1 mention
  • Empowerment — Concept · 1 mention
  • Four Rs framework — Concept · 1 mention
  • Personal courage — Concept · 1 mention
  • Personal empowerment — Concept · 1 mention
  • Personal growth / Growth — Concept · 1 mention
  • Personal mission — Concept · 1 mention
  • Personal resilience — Concept · 1 mention
  • Personal transformation — Concept · 1 mention
  • Personal values — Concept · 1 mention
  • Personal vision — Concept · 1 mention
  • Self-acceptance — Concept · 1 mention
  • Self-esteem — Concept · 1 mention
  • Self-expression — Concept · 1 mention
  • Self-sabotage — Concept · 1 mention
  • Super Soul 100 — Concept · 1 mention

Places & events

  • Miami — Place · 1 mention

Full transcript with timestamps

You're not crazy, you're just first. All right, I want you to hear me out on this because this is a life-changing concept and it's also true. So, you might be thinking, "What do you mean I'm first? I'm not the first to do anything. My ideas, someone's already done them." You know, that kind of thing. I bet someone's done them better than I have. All right. I want you to just take this in for a minute because when you embrace your firstness, it not only helps build really, really strong self-worth, but it can change how bravely you show up in the world as who you truly are. It can change your perspective on whether or not you feel like you belong or not, whether or not you feel like people get you. Uh, literally, it can help you realize that the things that you thought maybe were odd or quirky or off about you are actually almost always the things that are most right with you. So, this idea, you're not crazy, you're just

first. So, hear me out. And I go into this really deep into how to embrace this fully and worthy. There's a whole chapter and a poem called You're Not Crazy, You're Just First. Here's the thing. There is only one of you in the entire universe. There's never been another you before. There'll never be another you again. And if you're saying, "Well, what's the big deal?" Just think about this for a minute. You are the only one in existence with your fingerprints, right? You're the only one in existence with your tongue print.

Yep. We all have a unique tongue print. You're the only one in existence with the iris of your eyes. You actually have a unique heartbeat that no one else in the world has. Right? And think about this. You are the only one that has the set of experiences you've had in life. You're the only one to feel the emotions that you feel at any moment exactly the way you feel them. You're the only one that sees art and beauty and ups and downs and highs and lows the way that you do. you. If you are one of the brave ones willing to actually show up in this world as who you authentically are, you're first.

If you're one of the now, if you show up as your representative or try to be like someone else, etc. But if you're one of the brave ones, showing up as who you fully authentically are, you are first. And when you are first, do not be surprised if not everyone gets it. Don't be surprised if you might walk into a few rooms and feel like you don't quite belong. Don't be surprised if you feel like someone just doesn't get you or you don't fit in. You're first. There's never been another you before. And there's never been there never will be another you like you. This concept is huge because so many of us feel like I've got to change who I am to fit in or, you know, people have been calling me odd or quirky or off or different or strange, right? Or crazy.

You're not crazy. You're just first. You're just first. And here's the thing. When it comes to your ideas, your goals, your dreams, your art that you want to put out there in the world, your business that you launched or that you are in the process of launching, right? Don't be surprised if not everyone gets it at first because if you are do and listen, I don't care how many people out there have done the idea before you, if you're doing it authentically to you, no one's ever done it, right? Like when I built It Cosmetics, there was thousands of makeup companies doing thousands of foundations and concealers and but no one had done it the way I was going to do it authentically to me. So by definition, that excuse of like, oh, someone's done my idea or uh-uh, it's impossible. If you bring who you authentically are to that idea, to that business, to that piece of art, to that expression, to

that offering to the world, you're first. no one else has done it quite like you. So, when it comes to your business or your ideas or your art, if you're putting it out there and you feel like it's not getting traction or you're not sure why, or maybe you're showing it to like experts and touted visionaries and you're wondering why they don't think it's going to succeed. Here's why. I'll tell you why. Because when I built It Cosmetics, I was doing it so differently. Almost everybody told me it's not going to work. Like, so many of the experts I put on pedestals said it's not going to work. And listen, they wanted the best for me.

But even touted visionaries, even experts subconsciously they're not going to believe something's going to work if they've never seen it work before. If there's no social proof it's going to work. So, if you're doing something that is authentic to you, there's no they've never seen it work before because it's never been done. So, it is if I had learned this lesson, by the way, y'all, I would have saved myself so many nights crying myself to sleep, like thinking like, why is everyone not think this idea is going to work, right? Many of us know the outcome. Eight years later, I don't know how weeks later, it cosmetics grew to a billion dollar business. But for many years, because I was doing it authentic to me, it wasn't working in the beginning. People didn't quite get it in the beginning, and a lot of experts said it would never ever work. And so I want you to really take this to heart, okay?

That when you are doing something authentic to who you are, it has never been done before. It has never been done before. And so you got to get really, really good at cheering yourself on at believing in the the offering you're putting out there into the world. Whether it's in the form of just showing up as who you are and all that you are, whether it's in the form of a business or creation or ideas or art, you have to get really, really good at cheering yourself on. Because what I have learned is most people will cheer you on after you make it, after the thing catches on, after people start embracing it. So in that journey, I want you to remember this. If you're doing something that you feel like others are like, I don't get it. Doesn't quite fit in. You don't quite belong. Right?

you're you're different or odd or strange or crazy. Uh-uh. Uh-uh. You're not crazy. You're just first. And I just want to share one more thing. And again, there's a whole chapter in worthy uh called you're not crazy, you're just first. And we go deep into how to really look at your identity and build your self-worth around this. Because for so many of us, feeling like we are not enough and don't belong can take root at an identity level. I remember growing up, I have five families. I was adopted. It's a whole story. But I remember so many of my loving, well-intentioned family members would say things to me like, um, you're so odd or strange or crazy. I I would have these big ideas on how to impact the world or, you know, solve global problems. And I mean, I didn't even know what I was talking about at the point at at that point in my life, but I just had these big odd, you know, dreams and ideas and thoughts.

And they would literally, so many of them would always say like, "You're crazy. Like, who do you think you are?" Like, "You're you're crazy." You know, all that. And I remember there was this moment in my life when um in my 20s, I'd gone to therapy for the first time ever. And I literally asked my therapist, I'm like, you know, I feel like, you know, I don't fit in and sometimes I don't belong in the room and this and that. And I have these ideas and I and she explained to me that when you are somebody who especially is the first in your family or first in your peer group or first amongst the people you spend time around or first amongst the people you were raised around to have, you know, to think differently to actually be willing to show up as who you authentically are. Like don't be surprised if you don't feel like you fit in because you're first. you know, you're the first to to truly, you know,

have the confidence and the self-worth to to show up as all of who you are. And I just remember this moment that hit me like a light bulb. So powerful. The light bulb burst when I realized, oh, I'm not crazy. I'm just first. So, I just want to share this with you today in case these words are for you. You're not crazy. You're just first. You're not odd. You're just first. There's nothing wrong with you. In fact, the things you think are most odd or quirky or wrong with you are actually so often the things that are most right with you. The things that are most right with you. And when you're one of the brave ones who is willing to show up in this world as who you authentically are, you are first. So be the first, best, most quirky, odd, fully embracing, talented, gifted, like full expression, best ever. Only you who are first.

I want to dive deep into one tool you can apply to your life right now because I promised you uh that I'm going to share a bit more about chapter 3 called You're Not Crazy, You're Just First. I want to dive deep in this because specifically I want to share some words that just might be for you in your very moment in life. Words that you can apply to your life right now as you're on your journey to becoming the person you're born to be. And I get so many questions about this concept um on social media from you. You're asking me to explain um what do I mean by this concept that you're not crazy, you're just first. Are y'all ready? I know this is for someone and I feel it in my entire being. So, let me just start by saying if you are wondering if you are first, you are.

See, when you are one of the brave ones willing to show up and live your life authentically as who you are, you're first. There's only one of you that's ever been created. There's no one else in existence quite like you. No one else quite like you. No one else with your fingerprints or with the iris of your eyes. No one else with your tongue print. Yep. We all have unique tongue prints. Every single one of us. And when you live as who you were authentically created to be, not as your representative that you show up as to make everyone else happy, not as you know your job title, not as who others expect or help you to be, but as who you authentically are created to be. You are first. You are the only one that is you.

And when you are first, not everyone is going to get it. But it's the only way to live the highest truest path to your calling. Living as the authentic you can be scary. But here's the deal, y'all. What I know for sure in leadership, in business, in relationships, and in fulfillment in life, that while authenticity alone doesn't automatically guarantee success, inauthenticity guarantees failure. Right? So, I'm going to dive into this because you can apply it to your life right now. We got some exciting giveaways coming up in a few minutes. A bunch more giveaways, which I am I love a good giveaway. Uh, but this one is really powerful and I know it's going to hit home for so many of you because here's the thing.

Authenticity can be scary because when you're living authentically, you are first. The first to see the world the way you do. The first to have the ideas that you have. The first to experience emotions and art and beauty and vision the way that you do. And not everyone else is going to get it because your creator made your unique set of talents and gifts and thoughts and ideas only inside of you. And see, for me, most of my life, I would, you know, I remember growing up and then even later in my teens and 20s, even in my 30s, I would share some of my big, bold, God-sized dreams with people around me, and they would call me words like crazy. They'd say, "You're the crazy one. You're you're crazy for those ideas." They call me crazy or odd or different.

And sometimes I would feel like I didn't fit in. And sometimes I get pretty sad about it. And when we feel like we are odd or different or don't belong, it can be sad. And one day, I realized this in this aha light bulb moment, like a powerful burst. I'm not crazy. I'm just first. Those words helped me build a company that did things totally different in the beauty industry. and and and these words helped me keep believing in the power of my unique ideas even when industry experts told me that they would never work. And in fact, it was by believing I'm not crazy, I'm just first. It helped me get past feelings of not being like everyone else in the beauty industry.

And I was able to turn, you know, overcoming those feelings of not being like everyone else into building one of the largest companies in that industry because I wasn't like everyone else. Right? And and what I want you to know is that the thing right now, the thing you might be thinking is most wrong with you is so often the thing that's most right with you. So maybe you'll know in your soul that this exactly is for you today. it. If you feel like you have big ideas on your heart or that people around you might love you but just don't quite get you, it's only because God made just one of you. And I need you to hear these words right now. You're not crazy. You're just first. And while in worthy there's 23 chapters of, you know, tactical tools that build self-worth, I want to share one excerpt. This is an excerpt, not the whole thing, from a poem in the book. The book uh is is so powerful, but I just I felt in my soul

that I have to share this with you tonight. Um and these words are written from my soul to yours. The poem is called You're Not Crazy, you're just first. Who do you think you are? They say things like that aren't for people like us. Why are you going around changing, planning to leave us in the dust? Are you forgetting where you come from? Is it not good enough anymore? And just like that, the temptation to play life small feels more comfortable than before. They call you odd, strange, different for having dreams bigger than they can see. Because those dreams weren't given to them. They see them through fear and anxiety. And even well-intentioned people who love you to the bone can see you pursuing your dreams as a reflection of them not fulfilling their own.

If people like people who are like them, hiding who you are can feel like home. But a calling unexpressed inside you leaves you feeling anguished and alone. even inside of your own home. They call you words like crazy and say we stick together for better or for worse. But what your soul knows is you're not crazy. You're just first. The first to launch the business, to dust your dreams off of the shelf. The first to believe you're worthy of betting on yourself. The first to beat addiction to live life sober and awake. The first to break that generational cycle that you know you're born to break. The first to start healing. The first to forgive so you'll be free. The first to love others for who they are, not for who you wish they'd be.

The first to be a visionary to dream up the screenplay that you'll write. The first to recognize your gifts and stop hiding in plain sight. The first boss in your company to say, "I deal with self-doubt, too." The first mom to say, "No, I'm not okay, and I don't know what to do." The first in generations to love your body and celebrate it joyfully to prove it. To know that it's a miracle in motion. And what a gift it is to move it. The first to risk rejection, to speak your truth with vigor, knowing that the opposition might be big, but your creator is bigger.

The first to cheer yourself on and truly believe it, not just fake it, knowing that most people won't cheer you on until after you make it. The first to stand up for the outcast and say, "Stop teasing. I just won't. You might be tempted to underestimate me, but let me save you some time." Don't the first to say, "Yeah, you hurt me, but I'm not rejected. See, God just hid my value from you because you're not a sign to my destiny." The first to believe in your dreams even even when others might not get you, then one day love them anyways when they're bragging to people how they met you.

See, when we fear we're not enough and fear even more we won't be loved, it is so tempting to shrink in size and trade in our purpose for their hugs. But when you're feeling like you don't fit in or that you never quite belong, your uniqueness is your superpower, your truth is never wrong. And when they criticize to hold you back because your dreams aren't what they're used to, and they're afraid that you'll outgrow them, leave them behind or that they'll lose you. Stop asking for their advice if they've never been there themselves.

Because when you people please for others, you end up betraying yourself. So when doubt tempts you to dim your light, always remember this verse. Your soul knows you were made for more. With so much purpose it could burst. You're born with greatness inside of you. Whether it's a blessing or a curse, the world won't be better until your greatness is dispersed. See, there's only one of you in the entire universe. And your knowing knows you're not crazy. You're just first. This is a week we are talking about mindset and how important that is to not just have happiness and and and and greater success or fulfillment or connection in your life,

but all of those. Yes, for sure. But also just so that life doesn't feel like a slog

and a burnout experience where just every day you're just like, you know, that that's mindset. that the tasks of the world aren't you and the tasks of the world don't need to shape your mindset. Your mindset can shape how you deal with the tasks of the world. And that's a beautiful thing. And um Jamie, you were sharing I don't know what the story is yet, y'all, but she had something happen. You were sharing some mindset or something happened when you checked into the hotel or whatever.

Yeah, this was a crazy morning. So, why not share it live? Why not share it live?

I haven't heard the story. in the Growth Day Morning Show. So, yeah, you know, here's uh so, you know, we're doing a big event Monday, so I I flew cross country. Uh I am near Miami uh and uh and and checked into a hotel and I was out doing my morning walk this morning, right? This is a whole story on mindset that literally moved me to tears this morning and I want to share it with everyone because I think a lot of people out there might be in a season of I don't know just feeling like they're struggling and setbacks and just if like things aren't going your way. I want to talk today Brendan about the mindset around not fearing rejection and not fearing what feels like failure at the time. So cute.

And I was just like blindsided by something out of the blue this morning. So I'm out doing my morning walk in this, you know, in this hotel, my mask on, all this stuff. Out doing my morning walk. I walk through a hallway and I was like, whoa. I had a memory that I had forgotten about in this actual hotel nine years ago. And I want to share it with everybody. So, nine years ago in this hotel just uh just outside of Miami, there was a big beauty summit there, right? I was a few years into building my company and we had heard nos for a couple years and I remember my husband and Paulo and I were here right here at this very hotel. I had forgotten about this until today and I walked in the hallway where something happened, exactly where something happened. So it was a huge beauty summit and this is after a couple years of rejection and uh there was I don't know maybe a thousand people there and Ulta Beauty Ulta Beauty

which is the largest department store largest beauty uh retailer in the country their CEO was there and their head buyer at the very front table like this round table meanwhile we're in the very back of their and I just remember you know this moment where I like had to muster up all the courage inside of me to beline straight for that table. Um, after hearing nos for a couple years, uh, went right up to the CEO who who normally wouldn't take meetings. It's not the person that told me no, right? It would be a buyer that tells that tells you no. Walked straight up to the CEO, like mustered every ounce of courage. I trying to forget all the rejection. Um, and and just introduced myself and and uh he introduced me to the head buyer and I just pitched my heart out to Ulta Beauty and I remember they agreed to a meeting. So then I walk out of this room, right? It's this ballroom in this hotel. I walk out of

this room right into the hallway in this very hotel I'm in talking to you live from right now. Walk out in the hallway and I see the two founders of Gussy Ranker that do all the infomercials like Proactive Tony Rob, you know, all the infomercials.

And I had been pitching them for two years and they've been saying no. Their teams have been saying no. So I see Bill Gussy and Greg Wanker in the hall. I've never met them before. Same thing. prayed for strength, prayed for courage, like had to make that decision of mindset, which is okay, I'm gonna forget right now that I've been rejected by them for the past two years. I'm going to put that and I'm not going to fear rejection again right now, you know, because I believe in what I'm doing. And I beline for the founders of Gunny Ranker right outside this like um courage like a buffet table, right?

Right. Believe courage. I love it. I love it. Yes. Yes. and they're sitting there snacking on or on on the orurves in between the speaker breaks. I went right up to them, introduced myself and literally poured my heart like pitched everything on how they should they've been saying no for two years, but they really should say yes because all the things. So this morning, I had forgotten about this, right? The fact that we could barely afford a hotel room in this hotel in that moment in that in that moment nine years ago. This morning I'm out doing my morning walk with my mask like not even and all of a sudden I walk through that hallway and every single memory hit me from

I love that. But the last time I walked through that hallway and what had happened since was right now at this moment like we got that meeting at Ulta and right now live with you Brendan that it it cosmetics is the number one brand in all of Ulta across the country. We got that meeting with Gessie Ranker and we became the the most successful makeup infomercial they've ever done and we are like right now at this moment and I was standing there like first of all I start sobbing remembering all the rejection but also just appreciating

the hustle appreciating the journey appreciating the ability to just figure out how to go from doubting myself to like stepping into going okay I'm gonna not fear rejection I'm gonna go for it. Um, and and sometimes that's what it takes to change everything. So, I'm standing there in the hallway this like and I start sobbing. I'm sure the people working at the hotel are like, "Uh." But I'm like, "Wow, I forgot those moments even happened and I'm walking through them this morning here getting ready for this huge event." And uh I don't know just reminded me of growth day morning show all week and how we're talking about the power of mindset and the just just not fe just making the decision to not be afraid of rejection and failure.

Just making that decision is huge like huge huge and the courage and the mindset. Well, a I bet people watching this right now have had one of those full circle moments, right? That is a full circle. You know, some people call it full circle moment. We've always called it a full courage moment. A full courage moment is when you you lost the battle, but you kept going and then you have a victory and in that victory you recognize like a serendipity or a moment or what Paul would call an LF and it it just happens and it's like this this space where like it's almost like a time space where the past and the current moment kind of collide and remind you of your strength, remind you of what you've history remind you of something important to your spirit or remind you of a moment that was important to your life and um that all f or that full circle or that full courage moment. I bet you all have had that. So, if you

had one, type it down below. Just share it with us. I'd love to see it in in the comments like what was a full courage moment or full circle moment where you know you you you you labored and labored labored and maybe you lost or you were rejected. It didn't work out and then one day, bam, it was like it all came together and and you remembered it. I I love those. I love those. I've had those in in in my publishing career quite a bit of places I went to read or research or write and then I, you know, later saw my book there and it was like, "Oh my gosh." you know or places that you know similar where I sat in a seminar at a conference and it wouldn't be later until I was on the stage speaking later to literally thousands or tens of thousands of people in an arena and it would hit me I was there I was in your seat I sat in that seat and I could literally remember the seat and I'd walk out to the seat and I go I was sitting

in your seat five years ago and they were like oh my god God. I'm like, "Right here." And I'd pull the person up on stage with me and I'm like, and I'd be like, "You're me. You're me." And you'd have this conversation because I think those are magical. I think that you need you need to take a picture of that.

Yeah. And put it do a little reel on it or something on your Instagram today or on your stories and make sure everyone you're all following Jamie on Instagram so you can uh see that story. That's beautiful, Jamie. Congratulations. That's just

full courage moment. Yeah. And it just it just reminded me and I think you know you know there's so many I mean not to just go deep on this but when it comes to women in particular and it's again it could be everybody but women in particular so many of us don't try things because we're afraid of failure or we're afraid of rejection or afraid we're not going to do it perfectly or we're not qualified all those kind of things. And I just I was reminded of that this morning because just the idea of not fearing rejection too. Yes of course of being courageous. Yes, of course, of going for it all tied together, but just like being okay. You know, Sarah Blakeley, um, founder of Spanx, talks about how growing up at the the family table, the at the the dinner table every single day, her dad would ask them, "Tell, you know, they go around the table and he'd say, "Tell me something you failed at today." It wasn't like,

"Oh, tell me something you won at." It was, "Tell me something you failed at." And they'd all go around the table. And it was this idea of normalizing failure, not being afraid of it. And it's like it's like that whole idea of like, oh my gosh, how if we didn't fear failure and I know and you say this a lot, you know, no matter how small you start, start something that matters, right? And so many people

and I also say people don't feel fail failure and people don't fear starting, they fear being embarrassed.

Yeah. When they're seen starting small. Yeah. Yeah. See, when people have a lot of success and like people who've achieved something in their lives and they go to do something again, they they know when they fail, it's like, "Oh, that's part of the process." But when you're beginning, you're so terrified. What does other people think of me? You know, I'm going to be embarrassed because they think I'm this, but I'm trying to do that or if it doesn't work out. And we get everyone else's judgments up in our brains. And we forget that their judgments are one, usually not qualified, and two, time bound. And I'll give the example of what you just talked about. your nose that you got from, you know, the the beauty company, from Guthy, but also a lot of other things that you share about in your book, Believe It, and you even say this in your book, Believe It. The nose, like the first pitch that you got from

L'Oreal to buy It Cosmetics. Yeah. It was a no. And that time was perfect. you weren't you you know or I'm sorry from from Allan even on QVC like talking about oh he said no for you being on QVC which was a great thing because you weren't ready yet.

Yeah and I know it the nos are just preparing you. The nos are going to go oh go get better kid. It's not a no forever. It's a no in that slice of time. And that's what happened in that moment of time. You know previously they had rejected her but now they're open. Time marches on. And here's what I would tell people. You want believers. You want people to believe and cheer on you. Guess where they're not. They like like in a marathon. Yeah. Your family's there at the beginning clapping you to start, but you get the believers at the finish line. You get the you you get the real supporters with momentum.

You want believers, get momentum. So Gothy and others didn't believe in Jamie because she didn't have the level of momentum yet that was required to play it at their level or what they were comfortable with. And then she went and kicked ass, right? She just went and she just went just demolished the marketplace. She gobbled up the marketplace and every like, "Oh my god, Jamie, Jamie, Jamie, it cosmetic." And then they had to take notice. They had to take notice. They had to get on the Jamie train. Otherwise, they were going to miss out because it was clear this thing was leaving town and he was taking the future with it. And I just want you to understand that. So for all those who are freaked out, first don't con yourself. The greatest gift you can ever give yourself is not conning yourself, not lying to yourself. You're not scared to start small. You're embarrassed about the judgments that might come from other

people. Get over that. Grow up. We're out of high school. Let's get on with it. Okay. Second, that was mean. Second, you want believers, get momentum. Keep fighting for it. I love the mindset Jamie had of you don't stop asking, growing, and pushing even if people don't get it at certain points. But also, she left. She She didn't hold any bitterness against them for saying no earlier. She was still willing she was still willing to push and try. She didn't hold the bitterness that prevented her from not going for them. She didn't go like, "Oh, those people, they're like this and they'll never accept me." She said, "One day you're going to accept me because I'm going to prove myself." So, I love that.

You know, you know, another part of this, too. Yeah. is is you know sometimes we're embarrassed to whether it's beline to the front of the room where we don't have a seat at the table or whatever it is right we're we think oh uh what if I go try this and get rejected again or fail or all those things and but people actually what I what I've learned now that I can look back on all this and now that so many of these people that said no to me for years now I know them really well now we have partnerships together now I know they should

you hired some of them the people who rejected her, she ended up hiring them. We became their boss. She was the person they belittled and then she became their boss.

All things are possible. Um, but no, it's it's actually fascinating. You know, even with Sephora, who's a great partner today, they're a big beauty retailer, great partner, awesome of IT Cosmetics, they said no for about six years, even after we had become huge. Um, and because I kept going back every time I get knocked down, because I kept being told no, being rejected, and you didn't take it personal, I kept going back, kept going back. By by the end, I think that they had a lot of respect. They're like, "Okay." And and same with L'Oreal, by the way, because it was three years before it became a yes. It was three years of meetings. And uh I think that the way you handle rejection too and the way you're able to to show resiliency and courage and get back up that actually can make other people want to partner with you regardless of how they feel about your product or service.

I think when you you see people's what people are made of over time and so I think there's something powerful to that too is also just in that journey how you handle it not just in inside your own mindset but also um how you show up to everyone else around you even the people rejecting you and doubting you when you really want to just get mad and be like f you but you want to do that it's a human part of us right but that doesn't serve anybody it's Like it's like when you don't take it personally and you just keep going and keep getting back up and keep believing it's going to happen whether it does or doesn't ever. I think that's huge in terms of how other how much respect other people develop for you in the journey of building your own company or launching your own dream or building your own friendships and relationships.

And if she had stopped at the first no, there wouldn't have been a second yes. And once you realize that in life, and listen, if they both had said no, we would probably still be here. Like Jamie would find a way. I I Yeah,

I'll keep this private, but I I consult a I coach um a another major uh super female entrepreneur who everyone respects. And one time she said to me, uh I'm going to keep it private because she said it in private, but it was a a great metaphor about something she was going through. She shared that um you know her her belief was that sometimes there isn't a seat at the table for you because you're not ready or if you're not invited at the table enough you're not standing out enough or communicating or speaking up to share your wins and your successes or she said if you try to pull up the chair or you're not invited to the chair or whatever. She goes, "Go build your own table."

Like, "Go start your own company where you you buy the conference table and you hire people to sit there and you work on the same thing." Like, the idea that we have to wait to be at something. Like, I didn't wait to be at the publishing world. I self-published my first book

and that changed the course of my career forever because they all said no to me.

So, I had all these rejections. I've had every book I've ever done. I had rejections on from multiple publishers and some of those books became like literally industry or field defi like defining genres like motivation manifesto is still to this day the bestselling motivation title of the century which is insane to think about.

How cool is that? How cool is that? After they after the company that gave me the deal said not only did they give me the deal when I turned the book in they said no Jamie they said we don't like the book. We think it's terrible. you need to add more fluffy stories. And and they basically, you know, as best they could completely insult my artistic integrity. And I had to decide either I changed the book for them or I say I'm going to take my book and go somewhere else, which was a super hard decision for Denise and I at the time in my life because we they had already given us the money. I'd already spent it probably, you know, it's like, oh my god. Uh, but now they hate the book and now it but I love the book and

you don't want to change it. No, that book comes out and that's the book that got me, you know, that that's the book Oprah interviewed me for for her magazine. That's the book that, you know, Megan Markle puts in her top five books of all time. That's the book that, you know, it's the the the the the thing at the launch time was the little black book that all the celebrities are reading because it was just like it was such a different thing and it took off and if I had just quit because they said no or they really did insult me. I mean there you talk about in judgment they question whether or not I was drugs.

They asked me literally were you on drugs when you were writing this. It was just like I'm like I can bar I barely drink milk people. I barely drink milk. Coffee is like coffee

coffee you're like I'm like everyone thinks there's coffee in this every morning. That's it's just water in there people. Like so I'm just letting you say but I kept going. So

this is this is a story and this is a mindset today ladies and gentlemen. Yeah. of don't worry about the nose because if it is true dream to you, if it is sewn in your heart to fulfill that desire and dream, you keep going. Even if your spouse doesn't understand, even if your parents or your, you know, mother-in-laws or your, you know, your your old cousins or your neighbors down the block are making fun of you at the barbecue, who cares? Your dream wasn't made for them. Your dream was made for you. So, Motivation Manifesto, tell me if I'm remembering this right also. Isn't this the book? I know Oprah interviewed you for it, but didn't she like let you know it was on her bedside table?

Oh my god. Yeah. Yeah. So, Denise and I are at at her. She was throwing her book. So, talk about full circle moment. Oprah is throwing her book launch party at her house and invites about I think there's like 300 of us there and uh like the Super Soul hundred members which you know we're part of and and all these other things. Anyway, we go there and you know there's all these and they're super sl like Julia Roberts and Reese Witherspoon and you know Jeff Bezos is literally there from Amazon. It's just

wait Brennan Bashard was there. No, that's the thing. I totally Denise and I totally don't feel like we're sitting like they're next to Dr. Phil during the her talk and and and and like all these Alicia Keys is on stage. It's just crazy. Unbelievable out in the it one of the most magical things I'd ever been invited to my life. And we just we're sitting there. We're not having imposter syndrome, but we're also we're just recognizing like, wow, this is another caliber of group of people here. And afterwards, there was like this amazing barbecue. Oprah always gets the food, right? I mean, let me tell you, her whole team. So, anyway, we're we're all there. I don't think I'm going to see her, talk to her. I really want to introduce Denise to her, but I don't think it's going to happen because there's so many people there. Anyway, at some point, Oprah's doing the round. She comes around and I'm standing there. I

think I was with I think I was with Gabby and Marie uh Forio and uh Jack Canfield. Uh oh gosh, I'm blinking. There's four or five of us standing there and she comes up and I introduce Denise and I I don't remember how it happened, but we're talking about the books or something and then I said something about, "Oh yeah, I remember our interview in New York Motivation Manifest." She goes, "Do I remember?" She says, "I I have your book on my bedstand right now upstairs. I I always have it there." And I was like, and all of her mouth dropped. And I was like, I don't think I said another word. I just think I was like, I think I just stood there dumb for like I don't I don't even remember when she left at that point. I literally just all circuits shut off. I just stood there after she left. I do remember at some point during the party pulling Denise aside, I go, "Hey, um, did Oprah come up to us and say this thing?" Because I

thought my I thought maybe I was daydreaming. I thought I was crazy. I'd be like, "Denise, did this really happen? Unless they had this barbecue and this punch there and I'd had too much of the punch thingy. So I was like, did that happen y'all? Anyway, it was a magical It was a magic. And then I I can't tell you the number of people I if you all search motivation manifesto on YouTube, we have this video of like all these like Ariana Huffington reading from it. The late great Larry King reading from it. uh the character the guy actor who played uh Superman uh Ben Miss Universe like all these people are reading the Harvey Mccay a legend in our industry they're just reading from the book because it sounds so cool and it just it just grew and grew and grew into this thing and I I I wouldn't have any of these goofy stories and Jamie wouldn't have had her all moment this morning in the hotel

those moments of serendipity or those moments of reward or those moments of like extraordinary wow is this my dream this really happened only comes after the mindset of courage says keep going

you have a dream you don't need everyone to approve get momentum work hard keep your head down keep your voice up keep your faith up keep showing up and all of a sudden one day it's like wow look look at what happened I mean look what happened

Jamie's probably in the presidential suite up in there let me tell you people I'm just saying she's probably figured out you know Like Jamie's such an extraordinary, outstanding success story and to know her humility knowing how she must have felt walking down that hallway.

I was sobbing this morning, Brendan. I was just like, "Wow." You know, I those these words came to me. They're famous words that say um pray like it's all up to God and work like it's all up to you. And I just like those words just came to me because the journey, right? It's it's the journey. It's never it's not even the outcome or the destination. But I'm just like I'm just having this moment too hearing your story and I just want to share that one piece again for everyone listening because I know a lot of people are just hopping on the morning show. I think we it's something like what 15,000 people or something like hop on and off throughout the the morning across all the platforms. It's some some crazy number. That's awesome.

Um, but what I want to share just is oh this week why you all I just want to shout out thank you for that for the audience you all thank you for inviting your friends thank you for watching the replays especially across Facebook our replays are crazy

because across all our pages and our groups and the show on Instagram this week will be the week we pass a million views of this good

of the day morning show like this just just good-hearted goodwilled goodspirited show that we do for growth day this growth day morning show will pass a million views in our first month doing it more or less or first second month I don't know where we're at but it's really because people just go you know what I'd love to start my morning and personal development because when I put that in my ears that rewires my brain it sets my expectations it helps me approach the day with confidence and joy and aliveness and I thank Jamie for being here with us for this because listen we're all here for you all just trying to keep going trying to keep you inspired trying to bring a little bit of joy into your heart

I love it I love this show. We did not know how it was going to go and this is week five or six. We still don't know. Um we think but we're all here together. We're all in this together. The growth day morning show. But the one thing I just want to share one more time, Brandon, is like you just ex you just shared that journey of motivation manifesto and shared how like you did a book deal for it and the publisher hated it, didn't like it, didn't like what you did, asked if you were on drugs writing it,

and you made this tough decision to take it back. And now we're talking about how many people all over the world it's impacted. how you're standing in Oprah's yard and she's telling you how it's on her bedside table and you're able to introduce your wife to her like like just but but I just there's people right now going through this season where someone just told them something they're doing is total crap or isn't going to make it or doesn't have what it takes. And I just think stories like this are so powerful because sometimes it's sto like the power of stories is that we hang on to them and then they help remind us. Oh yeah, like Brendan, you know, went on that journey and I just got told the same thing. I can too. You know what I mean? And that's why I love the power of story and I love this morning show so much because it's like we're all sharing this space together.

80% of women, 73% of men experience a lot of serious self-doubt and a lot of limiting beliefs. You know, you talked about uh obviously, you know, one of your biggest uh it seems like one of your biggest issues was was rejection, this fear of rejection. Would you walk us through uh sort of your experience with what some of your biggest limiting beliefs were and how you overcame those?

Yeah, absolutely. And so I would love to do this with you if you are great with it with everyone listening and part of this this show with us right now.

Uh because the fear of rejection and the fear of failure is one of the biggest reasons we stay stuck. And uh I would love to share kind of a tool like a real practical framework that we can do in our lives right now to kind of take a step forward uh in in overcoming this. uh because I truly believe um and by the way when I wrote this book worthy it's it's really because my biggest journey in life has been how do I believe I'm worthy of my hopes and dreams and in life what I know to be true is we can have all the success in the world we can build all the things and all of that and those things build confidence but none of them build selfworth and we'll never be able to enjoy those things if we don't absolutely absolutely feel worthy underneath all of it. Also, for most of us, if we don't have strong self-worth underneath it all, we'll sabotage them along the way or we'll hit a ceiling in

our business or our ideas. And the worst of it, too. Um, when we struggle with self-worth, which is the one thing that changes everything in our life when we build it, is that when rejections or failures happen to us, we can all of a sudden, especially when we've had them in the past, we start to take them on not just as a rejection or failure that hurts our confidence, which is largely based external, but we start to think we're a reject rejection or we're a failure. We're rejected or we're a failure. We take it on at an identity level and that's when it hurts our self-worth. That's when so many of us stay stuck and don't go for things. And so, you know, step one is, you know, there's a whole chapter that almost was its own book. It was going to be its own book, but I didn't want to wait two more years. And so, it's inside worthy as a chapter um called when you change your relationship with rejection, you change

your life. And so, um here's what I would love to take everyone through. It's there's a framework called the four Rs. And this has been life-changing for me. It's been company changing, relationship changing, all of it. Um, when you think about how uh as human beings, we're all wired to avoid pain at all costs. And I know so many people, even though they know if I go to the gym, I'll be healthy and I'll have all of these pleasurable rewards, but I just hate working out. And so many people will want to avoid the pain of working out even though they know the payoff.

Like we're just wired to want to avoid pain. And so for most of us when we think of getting rejected or failing at something, we associate so much pain with it that it keeps us stuck. And so just to do this kind of in real time with everybody because this is something you can apply to your life right now. um uh that is just uh you know so powerful. So right now just ask yourself this question. We're going to go through the four Rs and this is the first R called reveal. So right now um ask yourself this question and really be honest with yourself. Um think about you know a time when you have failed or been rejected.

Maybe there's many times, but what is the first thought that goes through your head when you get rejected or you failed at something? And a lot of times we don't we're not even aware of this first thought. We just have it, right? But if you're listening to me and Josh right now, think about this. What is the very first thought you have? And be really honest with yourself when you get rejected or you fail at something. Josh, what is it for you? H you know I I think that I I could do well it depends on the person probably one it could be I'm not smart enough or I'm not good enough and the other could be well it could be actually push back at the other person of well that that person you know doesn't know what they're talking about sort of idea or that person's not smarter wise and so it's probably could go two ways

two ways so uh so good for me most of my whole life mine was always like, "Yep, there's proof I'm not enough. Yep, proof again I'm not enough." Would be the first thought I'd have. And for a lot of people, I've asked, you know, various groups this question. And I've had a whole room of CEOs in tears because a lot of people aren't aware, but for a lot of people, the first thought they have is something like, I'm a loser. I shouldn't, why did I even try? I knew I you know, who do I think I am going for this? Um not smart enough. the one you brought up is a big one. So, what what uh thought that you just had for everyone listening, right? For Josh, it was either, "Oh, yeah, I'm not smart enough," or, "Oh, they're not smart enough. They're wrong." Um, for me, it was like, "Yep, there's proof I'm not enough." Whatever it was for you listening right now, but yet that first thought you have, that is your current

definition of rejection and failure. So that is the meaning that you attach to rejection or failure often without even realizing it. And for so many of us that meaning is so painful that we want to avoid it at all cost. So we stay stuck. We don't go for the thing. We're running a great business but we don't put our wild idea out there that just might move the needle, right? Because we want to avoid the potential of rejection or failure because of the meaning we attach to it. And so most of my life it was always like, "Oh, yep. There's proof I'm not enough. I'm not enough every single time." And what happened is as I was building a cosmetics going through hundreds of rejections. There was one rejection one day I just had this dream and vision we should be on QVC. You know when God tells you something and you feel it but like no one else seems to agree and you don't know why. And like we eventually built the biggest beauty

brand in QVC's history. But for three years they said no. And not only no but you are not the right fit for us or our customers. I mean, there were some one no in particular was so painful because we were so close to bankruptcy. And so, I'll never forget this no and I just like crawled under my covers. I started googling every person I admired most who has built incredible things in business and who has moved the world forward, who's helped heal humanity through love, who's, you know, shifted culture. And I started reading about all their stories and every single one of them has gone through countless rejections and failures on their journey. They're just the brave ones willing to keep going anyways. And so that day I wrote down rejection does not mean I am not enough.

Rejection means this is a victory because I'm one of the brave ones willing to go for it. Like I'm not going to just live my life on the sidelines and then deal with all this regret of never trying. Like I'm going to decide right now. And here's the thing. You have to believe this to be true in your soul. But I I decided right then, okay, every time I get rejected, I I know my first instinct is going to be that old definition. Oh, I'm not enough. I'm going to intercept it. I'm going to replace it with that new definition.

This is the second R called uh uh redefine. And and from now on when I get rejected, I'm going to say this is a victory. That means I'm one of the brave ones willing to go for it. And of course, I have to intentionally believe that for it to feel true. But over time, it does. Uh another big uh new definition of rejection uh that I started adding to my toolbox. And this is how I got through hundreds of rejections and eventually built a billion-dollar business. And another one was rejection's God's protection. And I would look back at past rejections and be like, "Oh, now I see how." It didn't make sense at the time, but it was God's protection. I remember one moment, Josh, there was uh, you know, we were down to no money. I didn't know how we were going to make it. And a potential uh, private equity company, a potential investor had gotten a hold of our product, and they're really wellknown, and they've turned a ton of

small companies in pre-revenue into big businesses we all shop for in grocery stores and big box retailers. And I was so excited. I thought, "Oh my gosh, if they invest in us, then a, we're not going to go bankrupt, and b, what if they use their leverage to like, you know, get us into all these stores that keep telling me no?" And I was so excited. And we went through meeting after meeting after meeting, and we started the diligence phase where we brought on lawyers. It was a whole thing. We got to the final meeting. And my husband and I flew up for this meeting and presented the whole future product pipeline. And at the very end of the meeting, the head the team was awesome. I knew they were like really for me. And then the head guy uh says, you know, congratulations. He was standing about 3 ft from me, by the way.

And he says, congratulations. You should be so proud. Um this is a really great product. You should be really proud of it. Uh but it's going to be a no. We're going to pass on investing in It Cosmetics. At this point, I gotten so many nos. And I said to him like, "Okay, can you tell me why?" Because feedback is usually a gift. And he just got really quiet and uh and then he says to me, "Do you want me to be really honest with you?" And I was like, "Yes, please." And then he paused for the longest time. And I remember the moment his mouth started moving and he says to me, "I just don't think women will buy makeup from someone who looks like you with your body and your weight."

And when he said those words, um, I actually never felt any anger toward him, but it was like a lifetime of body doubt and self-doubt like flooded my body. So I felt like I was staring my own fear like straight in the eye. But when he said those words, I'll never forget this. I got this feeling like deep down in in my stomach like I can feel it like it was yesterday that that said that that literally said he's wrong like he's wrong and I didn't know how to prove it but I got that feeling that knowing um which is when I pray that is how I hear God that still small voice and when he said those words I just don't think women will buy makeup from someone who looks like you with your body and your weight and I got that feeling that that the city's wrong when I look back at that moment moment. What I know happened is that he gave me a no, but God gave me a knowing.

And I believe every one of us, I believe, are our intuition stronger than anyone else's advice. And I believe so much of our life will come down to which one we listen to, the know or the knowing. And so many of our most painful rejections can come from other people, like this one did. But most of our most painful rejections can come from ourselves and the things we're telling ourselves. and being able to tune into what is the truth and what isn't and how are we going to define or redefine rejection. And so in that moment when he and and by the way, every one of us deals with rejection in different ways every single day. And when he said those words to me, I just remember making the decision. And by the way, I went out in my car and I cried. Uh but I made the decision, rejection is God's protection.

And I don't know how it's God's protection right now, but I'm going to believe it. And that was one of my favorite go-to definitions. And then 6 years later, I hadn't heard from him in six years. 6 years later, the day that L'Oreal acquired our company, um they're a public company. And so I learned the night before they were going to disclose the purchase price. And so it was everywhere. Um the homepage of the Wall Street Journal, it was everywhere that L'Oreal paid $1.2 billion cash and made me the first woman to hold a CEO title of a brand in their 100redyear history.

It was everywhere. And it was the first time I heard from him in six years. And he said, "Uh, congratulations on the L'Oreal deal. I was wrong." And I don't know, Josh, if you ever saw that movie Pretty Woman,

like where she where Julia goes in the store, they won't help her. And then she like goes in a couple days later. So, what I wanted to say to him was big mistake. Huge. Huge. Uh, but I didn't. I kept it classy. Um, but here's what I knew is that had he believed in me at the time, I was so desperate. I would have given him the majority of the company for probably nothing. I didn't know how we were going to stay alive because he didn't believe in me when we sold the L'Oreal. We were still the largest shareholders. And I was like, rejection is God's protection. And so it's one definition, but I just want to encourage everyone at home to write out new definitions of rejection that you know and you know to be true that you're going to replace that old thought every time it comes up so that you build resiliency. You don't let rejection or failure take root and make you even for a second think you're rejected or you're

a failure. Uh and you just start building that resiliency. And um the third R really I'll try to go fast these um the third R is to revisit and this I think is the most powerful one and it's it's taking that uh uh ability to redefine rejection but revisiting past rejections and failures. For so many men, for so many women, we have had past people hurt us, uh, reject us, uh, we have made our own mistakes. We have failed so many times and we let those labels and those limiting beliefs take root in in and it's almost like we're trying to fly carrying these lead balloons of labels we've put on ourselves from our past. And we can easily start to believe our past can, you know, can determine our future. And it doesn't have to. And I love to revisit um past rejections and then redefine those so that I'm not carrying the weight of them anymore. So that I change the story I tell myself about what they were. Um, you know, two quick

examples is, you know, I was adopted and for so much of my life, I kind of thought I'm rejected or I'm abandoned and I kind of had that story for a long time and uh I made this decision to actually apply this tool in in my personal life that way. And and I decided, oh my gosh, my birth mom and birth dad were together one time ever. Like God chose me to come into this world. And then my birth mom, her life would have been way easier if she did not have me. But she chose to deliver me. And my adopted parents chose to raise me. And I just I changed that limiting belief and that definition I gave to rejection that used to be like abandoned, rejected, unwanted. And I replaced it with like, oh, I'm chosen.

And I believe that. And it's shifted how I live my life. And the last quick one I'll share is my favorite in case someone needs to hear it today. Um, I've never talked this much. I'm just so excited you're

Hey, I love I love it. Learning a lot. So good. Oh, well, my last one uh that I just feel in my spirit is for someone today is when you revisit past rejections, people that have betrayed you or pulled the rug out from underneath you or did not see your value uh or didn't love you the way you needed to be loved. Or even current things that happen like maybe the job you apply for, you want it so bad and you don't get it. or the friend that betrayed your trust, the person that broke your heart. When those kind of rejections happen, I go deep into how to do this in a real tactical way in the book worthy. Um, but when they happen to you, this is my favorite when to revisit my favorite definition is I will literally Josh imagine I'll imagine God saying to me, "Oh, you weren't rejected.

I hid your value from them because they're not assigned to your destiny. And I'll believe that. And it's how to this day if all of a sudden I'm not invited to the party or included in something or whatever. We all face these various forms of rejection or someone just not liking us no matter how hard we try. Maybe it's an in-law, maybe whatever these various forms we all face of of rejection. We put our art out in the world and it gets no likes on social. Whatever it is, like whatever we're going through, I just have that divine trust where I believe like, oh, okay, God is saying to me, no, no, no, no, you're not rejected. I I'm hiding your value from them because they are not assigned to your destiny. And I just think that it's one of the most powerful things we can do because you know and the fourth R by the way is to revel in the fact that you have become fearless when it comes to rejection and failure.

And I can just sit here and share with you that, you know, I made so many mistakes building at cosmetics and, you know, I I believe in the power of being a lifelong student and every day I'm making mistakes and all of that, but one of the things that I know how to do really well, like I am fearless when it comes to rejection or failure. Like it does not phase me at all. And it's because I've learned to change my relationship with it and the meaning I give it and to new meanings I really believe. And it's literally one of the keys on how I turned an idea in my living room into a billion dollar business. Um it's one of the keys on how, you know, I poured my heart and soul into worthy and I'm putting it out there in the world. Like I believe it's for a reason bigger than myself. Um so yeah, when you change your relationship with rejection, you change your entire life. I've believed this lie and I think

it is more prominent with women though, but I'm I believe it lie in the book that she references. I should only be seen when I'm happy.

And I think that's that mask thing. They should only see me on my agame. You just said it. How are you doing today? I'm good.

I should only be seen when I'm good. I want to make other people happy, so I have to project that I'm happy all of the time.

And I think that puts a pressure on people. It immediately makes you believe you have to be fake or inauthentic. Yes. when you believe that or you do what I just said earlier. I'll just hide.

Yes. I'll just hide. And I think a lot of us introverts I I like if I can't be on and be happy then I shouldn't be seen.

Yes. And I think we all suffer from this. This there's a depth to this book. I'm telling you that if you let your heart and mind open to how do how does this apply for me? Because even that lie I'm like I don't. And then I thought no that's 100% me. I'm only seen when I'm on. I'm only seen when I'm happy. So tell us about that lie.

Yeah. Um and I remember the first time I ever saw you not on and not happy and I just felt so freaking grateful that you trust like that. I just felt such a depth of connection with you. And here's the thing. Uh 75% of men and women, you look at the study, 75% of us will hide our true emotions and just show up when we can deliver some kind of positive news, positive emotion, put on a happy face. We have this huge juxiposition happening where we have tragedy and horrible things happening everywhere and then like we have signs everywhere saying good vibes only you know and we feel like okay unless I'm positive and happy and all the things which by the way I believe we can control a lot of the way we feel often right I believe we can do a lot to control our state and everything else but you know Glenn and Doyle once said like being human isn't about feeling happy it's about feeling everything

And if we want the depth of connection with other people and our self, we have to be willing to show up as we are. Otherwise, again, every time, you know, uh we think like, oh, I'm not going to call my friend until I have something good to say. I don't want to bring them down with my problems or oh, I you know, all of these things. And what we do is is is we doubt ourselves out of uh into disconnection from people, from ourselves, right? And every time that we show up inauthentically just trying to be positive and that's not how we feel, right? And we we're really trying to be someone other than who we are, we're telling ourselves we are unworthy as we are.

No kidding. And here's the thing, like it is so important to be able to feel worthy of being sad or of saying, you know what, I feel insecure right now. Or you know what, I'm kind of bummed out today. or and and to feel like someone else could hold space for that, like you're worthy of someone else holding space for that, right? Like, and that you deserve someone showing up for you in that way. It's really a fundamental self-worth issue.

Can I say something to all the women listening, can I give you some insight into your man and how it'll apply to him? Oftentimes, by the way, I'm not real big on in either of you like gender specific advice.

Yeah. But I will tell you, if you have a man in your life who's struggling with this, he's he more than likely has been raised to believe that if he shows fear or sadness or that he's down or worried or has anxiety that he's being weak and so he only shows up strong. It might not be happy, maybe it's strong. He only shows up. How's everything going? Everything's okay. And they keep things inside. And if you have a man in your life who does that regularly, like me, who's done it for years and years and years, you have a man who is stacking in his life pain, it's going to come out in other ways. And it's not until I've gotten older and I've had really good friends around me like you where there's been things that have happened in my life in the last year or two, as you know, where I'm like, "No, I'm really hurting right now." Yeah.

And it's allowed me to be um more me. And I am I am I'm a worthy person even when I'm not perfect. I'm a worthy person even when I'm down. I don't I'm I don't have to be strong all of the time. And I know this applies to women as well, being happy and being strong. But it does apply in your man's life. Believe me, men have a real problem, real challenge being willing to say, "I'm down right now."

Yeah. I'm down. I'm hurting right now. And so know that if you can create a space where they feel like they're accepted when they do it and they don't feel weak for doing it, I think you'll have a stronger relationship with that man in your life if you have one for what it's worth.

And to add to that, it's so powerful what you just shared. When you look at the data that 73% of men feel inadequate,

right? So many men are so good at hiding it. But here's the thing. When you create a safe space for a man in your life to share those things,

what is so critical is that you do not let yourself go to the believing that same lie he did,

which is somehow that's inadequate to feel those things. It is. There's so many I'll just talk about some women in my life who wish their partner would open up more with this or that, but some of them when their partner does,

all of the sudden they start telling themselves the lie that you know what I mean? And so it's like it's both.

What do they tell themselves? Uh, all of a sudden they're not quite attract. I wish he was stronger.

Like those kind of things. It's it's a lie that everyone needs to unlearn, right? Because not only should everyone have the space to show up as they fully are,

but but the traditionally opposite gender roles need to be really aware of those lies because you can get someone back into hiden really fast.

Oh my gosh, that's so true. You know, you talk a lot in the book, I didn't know we were going to go here, but I'm glad we are. About disconnection.

Yes. It's a great story. I'll let you read the book, guys, about a fire at a hotel that she was in that really hit me. It's actually one of my favorite parts of the book. But this uh relationship we have with becoming disconnected. Yeah.

And one of the real ways in a loving relationship in a marital one or a boyfriend girlfriend or same-sex relationship that you become disconnected is by not being willing to say, "I'm down. I'm hurting." It's a form of disconnection because you're really lying to one another.

You're disconnecting. Actually, what I'm feeling right now is some anxiety. I'm feeling some worry. I'm scared. I'm scared right now. And when you don't share vulnerably and authentically like that, you're creating a level of disconnection because there's no real authentic emotions and feelings being shared with one another. And that's why a lot of relationship suffer. One of them's trying to stay really, really strong. The other one's trying to, you know, put on the happy face all the time and no one's really sharing and showing up as they really are. And I think that's the symptom of the disease that they don't feel worthy.

Yeah. And that's why this work is so profound. So profound. And and and what I'll say to that too, I think the most just staggering and profound form of disconnection is us disassociating from ourselves where we don't even know how we feel. We're not even paying attention to who we really are, what we really feel. So then we're showing up in relationships and and it's not even that we're intentionally sometimes not sharing it. We're just disassociating from ourselves, right? and and and I I won't share the whole fire story, but

in the middle of a lifethreatening emergency, I just remember dis normally I take on everyone's energy around me like kind of like as an empath and it was one of the times I remember literally being in such a mode where I disassociated from everything was in full survival mode to get out of this hotel fire alive somehow. And I realized, oh my gosh, in hindsight, everyone had handled the fire differently. Some people froze, some people panicked, others were screaming, running up and down the hallways. I just remember completely disassociating from everything, including my own body, and just being in full survival mode. And while that helped me in a fire and helped me find this like scaffolding to climb down the side of the building, it does not help me in life. Like for me, and maybe a lot of people can relate to this, like numbing or disassociating can come in so many forms. For some people

it's substances or whatever, shopping or, you know, gambling. It could be whatever different addictions. For me, it's always almost always come in either food or work addiction and busyiness.

Me, too. Have you ever dimmed your light or shrunk who you are to try and fit in, to try and make other people comfortable? There is a lie that so many of us have believed that if I stand out, I'll get kicked out. Meaning, if I'm too great, I somehow won't feel loved and I won't feel like I belong. I won't be accepted. And it has so many of us downplaying our strengths, hiding our wins and victories, especially girls and women, and just thinking if I stand out, I'll get kicked out. So, I'm gonna play life small. I'm gonna call it being humble.

I'm gonna call it being, you know, you know, like the right thing to do, when all it does is have you show up inauthentically, first of all, and it then gives that signal to other girls and women to shrink who they are, too. Right? Here's the thing. Like, so many of us learn this lie. If I stand out, I'll get kicked out. From the time we're little girls, we often learn to make decisions based on consensus. You know, like if I know what I want and I know what I want to say and how I feel, somehow that's not the acceptable thing to do. I've got to take a survey of all my friends around me. See how we all feel together about if we like this thing or don't like this thing. And then that turns into us as adults not trusting ourselves, right? feeling like, okay, I need to take a a poll on how I feel. I need to see how all my friends feel about this thing. If I should stay in this relationship, if I should, you know,

wear this dress, if I should all the things. And then we start learning. But when you have a gift and a strong passionate feeling and an idea and a thought and a dress you love, you don't want to like stand out. If no one else loves it, you might get kicked out. or if you have huge talents, maybe you had a huge victory or you know you whatever it might be, we learn if we stand out, we get kicked out and it's a lie. It leads us to feeling like we are um diminishing who we are to fit in. So we play life small. We shrink. We try to do things that make other people more comfortable. We downplay our talents and our gifts and our strengths.

And then it looks like all the studies coming out, right? Right? You look at some of the studies in the workplace where men are promoted on potential. Women are only promoted based on past performance, right? We feel like we have to do things perfectly and accomplish it all perfectly for us to be enough. And then when we're really, really great, we dial it back because we don't want to make anyone else feel uncomfortable. And then here's the thing, y'all. Because we don't let see we don't let others see our light shine, because we often don't even acknowledge our light shining. We somehow doubt it's that bright. Even in our soul, we know it is. We then arriving to this place one day in life where we all of a sudden feel invisible and like we're fully unseen and like we don't even see ourselves.

Learning to embrace who you are, your strengths, your abilities, your big, bold, wild, amazing ideas, your talents, your gifts, your quirkiness, your style. all of it, even if it stands out. Learning to share it and express it as all of who you are is one of the most powerful things you can do. Because every time you show up in this world as who you authentically are, you are telling yourself you are worthy and enough just as you are. Every time you dim your light, you shrink who you are. You show up inauthentically. You are telling yourself you are unworthy of being all of who you are.

This is huge because it impacts your self-worth. And your self-worth is the foundation to everything. Like in life, I say this all the time, we don't rise to what we believe is possible in our life, in our relationships and our goals and our dreams and our ambitions and our friendships. We don't rise to what we believe is possible. We fall to what we believe we're worthy of. So, in the book worthy, I go deep into all of the lies that we need to unlearn. The lies that lead to self-doubt that we need to unlearn. And one of those is if I stand out, I'll get kicked out. And it's how to unlearn the lie and actually build enough selfworth to step into who you truly are. Say what you truly mean and how you truly feel. And I just want to wrap up this video by saying that for you, if self-worth is something that you if you if you're always feeling like you're just not quite enough, that is a self-worth thing. You can build

confidence, self-confidence all day long, that is how you see your skills and abilities as a person, but your self-worth is different. It's you what you believe your value as a person is. And you can build all the confidence in the world and still never feel enough. building self-worth is so critical. So that's why I wrote worthy. And I just want to say that uh today I hope you take one step to stand out, to put your idea out there, to say what you really mean, to say how you really feel. If you know the answer, shout it out. If you want to wear the dress, wear the dress.

If you want to crack the joke, even if no one else thinks it's funny but you, be fully funny you. like all of it, right? Let your light shine so bright and don't be worried it's going to get you kicked out cuz you stand out. Like when you let your light shine so bright, you are giving another person permission and an example of how they are worthy of letting their light shine fully. I want to read a quote, a famous quote from Marian Williamson that I I have in worthy as well. um that I think is so so so powerful today.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It's our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that was within us. It's not just within some of us. It's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. Maryann Williamson. Today, let your light shine. If you were a brand new entrepreneur starting today,

what are the first three things you do to kind of build your brand in what might seem like a crowded space?

Yeah. Yeah. Because right now there's no barriers to entry, right? So, and that has pluses and minuses.

Pluses and minuses. Um, so the pluses are you can get in there for free and you can start right away direct to consumer for free in any area, any space. Um, the minuses are it's so crowded, right? Okay. Three things I would do. I would throw your ego out the window.

That is the best advice, right? Completely. Because I have seen so many people not make it because their own ego and the things they choose to spend money on, the things they think they the way they think they need to show up on social media, the way that all that kind of stuff. Like at the end of the day, um I would throw your ego out the window. I'd be ready to be super scrappy. Um, I talk about so many of the most embarrass Honestly, they're embarrassing stories, but I just feel like that's how we I feel like I had to share them and believe it because that's how we know like, oh, I'm not alone sitting in my living room trying to tape my phone up to the thing, not being able to afford my dollar hot dog from Costco. Like, I wanted to share it all, right? Like, I I talk about using my middle name to be head of PR. Like if this were today, Brian, um, just to share it. So, I couldn't afford to hire anyone for

years, right? So, I used my middle name, Marie. She got her own email address, Marieitcosmetics.com. And she was head of PR and head of customer service. So, like, if this were today, Marie would be like, "Oh my gosh, Brian Underwood, great news. Our founder is available for an interview. Um, uh, we see you have a GlamHive panel coming up. Like Marie would pitch you and Marie got ignored all the time. Marie got rejected.

Poor Marie. She was a hustler though. Um but I would say no ego. Um I would say whatever you do, know your truth. Know your why beneath the why. Do that work. Now, if you I don't know if you if you caught the beginning of our segment together, um or you can go back and watch it later, but I talk about how important it is to know why you're doing, but not just the why that we always hear thought leaders talk about know your why. I talk a lot and I wrote a whole section about this and believe it on in the book on how to peel back the layers and go deeper. Because for me, if I hadn't done that work early on, I wouldn't have made it through the three years of rejection of everyone telling me no, of all the beauty retailers telling me no. Um, so really knowing your why beneath your why. I have so much to say. Um, another big one is, uh, if you are in the beauty space or really any any space, um,

protect your IP early on and get your formula ownership early on before the manufacturers care about you and don't want you to go anywhere else and won't give it to you like like early on do all the unsexy stuff that gets your right that gets your foundation in place that that that you can stand on from your IP ownership to your trademark. s to your formula ownership. Get that stuff in place because when you try to do it later, when people are actually making money off of you, they do not want to give it to you. Um, and you and then that creates problems. Um, the last thing I'll say, sorry, I could do like 500 things on this, is just don't ever get distracted by what other people are doing. It is so tempting to do it. But the second you worry about what someone else is doing in your space and you're tempted to dilute who you are, you do. You lose the magic. If you all the research shows you create a barrier

of disconnection between another human being or your own customers. We think we need to show up as our representative. We don't. That's the barrier. It's like f all that.

Yeah. Show up as you fully are. A. It's more freeing. It's more fun. But it's also your superpower. Ladies and gentlemen, rock this house and welcome to the stage K Leam Karn Lemur.

Every single one of us has had someone tell us we're not enough. Every single one of us has had someone say words to us that

Questions about this episode

What is discussed in "Be The First. Be The Bold. Be The Real You. | Jamie Kern Lima"?

In order: 0:00 You're Not Crazy, You're Just First, IT Cosmetics, Self-Worth, Worthy; 10:00 You're Not Crazy, You're Just First, Authenticity, Worthy, Addiction; 20:00 IT Cosmetics, Ulta Beauty, Believe It, Growth Day Morning Show; 30:00 Motivation Manifesto, Alicia Keys, Impostor Syndrome, IT Cosmetics; 40:00 Worthy, Growth Day Morning Show, Motivation Manifesto, Self-Worth; 50:00 L'Oréal, Believe It, IT Cosmetics, Limiting beliefs; 1:00:00 Worthy, Believe It, Self-Worth; 1:10:00 Worthy, Self-Worth, Addiction, Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate...; 1:20:00 Believe It, IP ownership, Trademark.

What is mentioned in this Jamie Kern Lima episode?

67 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Worthy, You're Not Crazy, You're Just First, Self-Worth, IT Cosmetics, Believe It, L'Oréal. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "Be The First. Be The Bold. Be The Real You. | Jamie Kern Lima"?

The episode runs 1 h 24 min; the transcript is about 15,797 words in 146 timestamped sections.

More from Jamie Kern Lima

About this transcript: the episode's spoken words as captioned on YouTube, split into timestamped sections. Reclip.Me locates every person, work and idea in the text, keeps the time it is first named, and quotes the words around it verbatim. Last updated November 18, 2025.