Transcript

The Beauty of Surrender: How to Find Success by Letting Go of Control And Trusting Yourself

From Jamie Kern Lima · Episode page · Watch on YouTube

· 1 h 29 min · 17,406 words · 186 timestamped sections

This is the full, timestamped transcript of "The Beauty of Surrender: How to Find Success by Letting Go of Control And Trusting Yourself", an episode of Jamie Kern Lima published December 31, 2025 (1 h 29 min, about 17,406 words). It mentions 25 people, works and ideas, including QVC, God, Believe It, Intuition (gut feeling), GrowthDay.

What this episode is about

The discussion centers on the importance of surrendering control and embracing self-trust in the pursuit of true fulfillment. It highlights the struggle of balancing professional success with personal presence and joy, emphasizing that meaningful experiences often stem from moments of genuine connection rather than mere achievements.

Key takeaways

  • Success's silent killer: burnout often follows triumph; pace yourself before the flame burns out.
  • Success addiction: Remember, the soul finds solace in small moments, not grand achievements.
  • Authenticity paradox: Fully showing up as yourself is both a leader's challenge and superpower.
  • Power of pause: Rising at 4:30 a.m. offers tranquility and inspiration — a high-performer's secret.
  • Intentional living: Balance ambition with presence; avoid selling your business and losing your heart.

Who speaks in this episode?

What is discussed, and when

  1. – 10:00: Believe It, Congruency, Denny's, Global Leadership Summit
  2. – 20:00: IT Cosmetics, Denny's, Inauthenticity guarantees failure, Mission
  3. – 30:00: Vitamix
  4. – 40:00: Believe It, Facebook, Instagram, Amazon
  5. – 50:00: Mission, Believe It
  6. – 1:00:00: Believe It, Denny's, Mission
  7. – 1:10:00: Hustle, Believe It, Denny's
  8. – 1:28:43: Mission, K Learn

Notable quotes from "The Beauty of Surrender: How to Find Success by Letting Go of Control And Trusting Yourself"

  • Have these moments too like just this morning when I get a letter from someone who says like I read believe it or I you know whatever and I decided to trust myself and it…
    about Believe It · at
  • Before you speak at the Global Leadership Summit or before you go on live with Tony Robbins or John Maxwell, wherever you are, what do you say to yourself right before you give a talk?
    about Global Leadership Summit · at
  • And upon thousands of lessons. And the great thing is when you were a waitress at Denny's or Sacking Groceries, that was preparation. when you were building your business…
    about Denny's · at
  • Something that would work and nothing did and that's really what sparked the idea for IT cosmetics but when I launched the company. there was really, this was pre-YouTube when…
    about IT Cosmetics · at
  • Inauthenticity guarantees failure. And I saw that now play out over a decade in the tens of thousands of entrepreneurs I've had the blessing of meeting and very few ever make it. I think it's how.
    about Inauthenticity guarantees failure · at
  • In the beauty industry of what how they define beauty. like that was my deep mission, right, for every because growing up when I'd see those ads, I always loved them. I always…
    about Mission · at
  • I'm honored to learn from everyone in our community right now who's posting in the comments and posting in Facebook and posting in Instagram and part of the Growth Day Morning…
    about Facebook · at
  • This isn't why I like it's so word smithing matters, right? Like for example, hustle has gotten demonized as like burnout. So I no longer use it because I don't need it. You…
    about Hustle · at

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

  • K Learn — Person · 1 mention · first at
    Ladies and gentlemen rock this house and welcome to the stage K Learn.

Books & papers

  • Believe It — Book · 10 mentions · first at
  • The Way of Integrity — Book · 1 mention · first at
    I'm reading The Way of Integrity right now with Martha Beck, which is really interesting. also about congruency with your truth, which is really powerful. love that one. I'm reading.
  • How to Win Friends and Influence People — Book · 1 mention · first at
    Good friendships. I didn't know how to do that. So, I did like a lot of you personal growth lovers. Who read How to Win Friends and Influence People from Dale Carnegie?

Companies & orgs

  • QVC — Company · 23 mentions
  • GrowthDay — Company · 8 mentions
  • Denny's — Company · 4 mentions · first at
  • IT Cosmetics — Company · 4 mentions · first at
  • Facebook — Company · 2 mentions · first at
  • Instagram — Company · 2 mentions · first at
    Our community right now who's posting in the comments and posting in Facebook and posting in Instagram and part of the Growth Day Morning Show. We learn from each other. I…
  • Global Leadership Summit — Company · 1 mention · first at
  • Vitamix — Company · 1 mention · first at
    They cut and then they went to like the next item which is like Dyson vacuum or Vitamix or Apple iPhone or something and my husband comes rushing through the double doors of…
  • Amazon — Company · 1 mention · first at
    Launching a book called Believe It, and it comes out next month. I hope that you will pre-order on Amazon. It's called Believe It by Jamie Carina. Comes out next month. She's…
  • Apple Inc. — Company · 1 mention
  • Dyson — Company · 1 mention
  • SBA — Company · 1 mention

Concepts & topics

Full transcript with timestamps

from uh all measures, you're incredibly successful, but a lot of people don't succeed when they're successful. They fall apart. They burn out. That goes to their head. What advice do you have to people who are succeeding to stay successful at what matters most?

This is something that I continue to struggle with. To be totally honest, I think that as someone who's always been I've always felt like God has has put a great calling in my life and I I don't believe we're born to compete with anyone else. I believe we're here to compete with what we know we're capable of becoming. And I struggle every day feeling like I'm nowhere close to becoming the potential God gave me. And so to this day, I have to challenge myself, to work less, to stop thinking about how I'm going to serve and impact obsessively and actually enjoy my daughter singing to the Elmo song. Um, I need to intentionally be present with my husband at dinner when I am tempted to daydream about creating building serving and impacting. And it is a daily struggle for me. So, and I maybe maybe other people listening can relate to that as well. Um, but it's something that I'm just being really

intentional because I can look back and go, "Okay, I've achieved all of these incredible things that they only write about in movies." And yet, the moments that fill my soul the most aren't usually those achievements, right? There are the times when you know um my daughter was born or you know I I helped you know but but there also let me say this and maybe you have these moments too like just this morning when I get a letter from someone who says like I read believe it or I you know whatever and and I decided to trust myself and it worked or things like that like those are the moments that fill my soul. So, you know, I'm trying to um

I am trying to be intentional about doing both about being someone who I feel um is called to serve in a great way, but also trying to not look back at life and say, "Gosh, I forgot to enjoy it."

That's so good. And you use the word uh three or four times the word intentional. I think anybody who's a high performer like you and the vast majority of our community um they're they're visionaries. They're um they're they're growing. They're stretching themselves. We don't want to be successful just in the business and not be successful at home. And it's what happens in the home. It's what happens in your heart. That's that's where the true lasting uh measure of success is. And so congratulations if you can do both. But if we're going to do one, we don't need to sell the business for $1.2 billion and lose everything else that that matters even more. We want to really be intentional as you are. And and it's hard. It takes work because when you can do a lot, you tend to want to do a lot, but you don't want to do a lot of what doesn't matter as much as a lot of what does matter most. And I

congratulate you and Paulo on um being great at both, producing great value and staying centered or working to stay centered at the things that matter most. Uh the name of the book is Believe It, Get It, Believe It. It's incredible. Lightning round. Jamie, I'm gonna ask you a bunch of quick questions just for fun. Don't think about it. Just tell me whatever comes to mind.

What's your biggest leadership pet peeve? What drives you crazy? Okay, you're thinking too long. Be honest.

What drives me crazy? What drives me crazy? Inongruency. Inongruency. Yep. Yeah. Inongrucy. I think when you

show up fully authentically is when you're your most powerful. I think your authenticity is your superpower. I think most leaders are scared to be authentic.

Before you speak at the Global Leadership Summit or before you go on live with Tony Robbins or John Maxwell, wherever you are, what do you say to yourself right before you give a talk?

God, use me. Love, use me. Love it. Uh, what is a recent uh discipline or habit that you've added to your life that you're excited about?

4:30 a.m. wakeups. Getting time. that still time in the morning, that still time is is um been healing and also just inspiring.

I wonder what percentage of the highest performers actually have a very early wake up time. I don't know what that is, but I'm guessing it's pretty high. That time in the morning is um is very important to me and uh I think it that's true for a lot of leaders. Is there a favorite book that you've read recently? I'm reading The Way of Integrity right now with Martha Beck, which is really interesting. Um, also about congruency with your truth, which is really powerful. Um, love that one. I'm reading so many books. You know what happens when you write a book? Like, believe it came out. Now all of a sudden, everyone wants me to read their books to give an endorsement. I'M LIKE, THERE'S SO MANY BOOKS. UM, but it's really fun. So, actually, I should change my answer.

Believe it. Believe it. How to go from underestimated to unstoppable. It is. Well, I do I do want to congratulate you on the book hitting New York Times bestseller and and it's really fun to see that your influence is increasing every single day. I think your message is one that is so so so encouraging. And I just would say as a student of leadership, thank you for every single sacrifice that you made, every rejection that you endured, every obstacle that you overcame to give us a story that we can both applaud and just learn from because it's it's thousands and upon thousands of lessons. And the great thing is when you were um a waitress at Denny's or Sacking Groceries, that was preparation. when you were building your business, interestingly enough, that was preparation. When you sold it and became the first female CEO um for L'Oreal, that was preparation for what you're doing today, which is an even bigger

influence. And what you're doing today is preparing you for what you're going to do in the years to come. And so, I just love being a fan, cheering you on, and um congratulate you on a life that really is making a difference. Jamie,

I wanted to ask you Jamie, like at the heart of this book, and you just sort of talked about it, but at the heart of this book, there's this tension between listening to yourself,

trusting your instincts and and heeding the advice of perhaps people who have more experience than you do in a particular area. You know, this idea of intuition versus expertise. How in your opinion, based on your experience, how does one strike that balance in business and in in life?

Yeah. Oh my gosh. I feel like that's like the defining question for sure of of if we end up going after our dreams or if we talk ourselves out of our own truth. And and here's what I mean by that is

I have the great honor now and great blessing of having so much uh invaluable advice from experts that have that's helped me a ton that's guided me a ton.

Um but everyone has an opinion. Yeah. and you know uh my journey and I love I love this question so much because I think anyone joining us right now or watching this on the replays after who is maybe a makeup artist or a stylist or whatever it is and and they're doing their own business um my journey was uh years and years and years of everyone especially in the beginning um saying that what I was doing that I needed to change what I was doing if it was going to work right so I you I have um skin condition called rosacea which is hereditary there's no cure for it and gets really bumpy and red and I was in what I thought was my dream job in television news and uh I kept hear I would hear my earpiece from my producer there's something on your face there's something on your face you need to wipe it off and and it was the makeup breaking up and long story short I started like obsession trying to find

something that would work and nothing did and that's really what sparked the idea for IT cosmetics but when I launched the company. Um, uh, there was really, you know, this was pre-YouTube when I first launched it and nobody was showing real people yet, right? And so I had this like vision, what if I show how the product actually works on my bright red, bumpy skin and what if I have, you know, diff, you know, models, all ages, shapes sizes gender identity skin tone skinary.

Yeah. And I was like, and so then I thought, this makes so much sense, right, Brian? Like, like intuitively, and I believe every one of us, every person with us live right now, everybody watching this, every one of us has a knowing uh inside our own gut, I believe it's always right. And I just sat there and intuitively I would say to the buyers at all the department stores and the beauty retailers that were telling me no. I would say to and even QVC all of them

for three years they all told me no I wasn't the right fit. I needed to change our packaging. I couldn't use models that were real people or it would never sell. And I would say to them, okay, but intuitively, if I'm, you know, wanting to buy a product and I don't see someone who looks like me showing, you know, with the product on, how do I know it's going to work for me? And this this went on for three years. And it was no after no after no after no. And um I think every one of us, no matter what journey we're on, has somebody look us in the eye and tell us, "No,

you're not the right fit. you're not enough. You don't belong. You need to change who you are if you want us to carry your product.

And I feel like sometimes experts give feedback and it's a gift and it's helpful. And a lot of times it's not. And I think our life comes down to learning to hear our own gut instinct and say, "Is that right for me? Is that advice right for me? Is that a gift? Should I apply that?" Right? And a lot of times I would say, "Oh yeah, that was good. that was good. I didn't realize the font in my packaging wasn't big enough. I didn't those things. But other times, and this was three years, like we got down to under $1,000.

Everyone knows the highlight reel, Brian. Everyone knows, oh, you know, this girl sold her company for a billion dollars. It cosmetics today is the largest luxury makeup company in the country. But this is why I thought it was so important to write this book because when we just see the highlight reel, we feel alone in our own setbacks, alone in our own struggles, alone in our own rejections. So, I'll lay it all out there

because had I ever like like when I look back at the mistakes I made, the things I did wrong, they almost always come down to when I didn't trust myself,

right? And I just think it's such a universal thing. And had I ever because we have moments in life where it's like our guts on one hand, experts opinions on the other and if they differ, which one do we listen to?

The defining moments of how It Cosmetics turned into a billion dollar company are simp simply come down to decisions where I didn't listen

Yeah. to people who told me to change what I was doing even if it meant I could get into their stores. Yeah.

I I I trusted my gut on the journey. Yeah. Um, and that's also what made all the difference. Like, you know, even L'Oreal for a long time said to change different things in our meetings and some of them were so valuable and so helpful.

But when we eventually became part of the L'Oreal family, I think why they acquired us is because we were doing stuff so different from all their other portfolio companies that it was we complimented, right? So, anyways,

trusting your gut, I think, is the victory in life, not the outcome of your company.

Yeah. You sold the company how many years ago? Uh three years ago. Three and a half.

Does that mean that do you still work for the company? Yeah. So what happened? Um so I agreed uh to stay on as the CEO of the company and there's nothing financially holding me to it, but uh but I gave them my word that I would stay for three years. And so um so it was pretty uh cool in the sense of you know I started this scrappy business. couldn't afford to pay myself the first three years as I shared and how to do oh my gosh I share all the crazy stuff in the book about like all the jobs I tried to do myself and how when I couldn't afford to hire anyone I was trying to trying to just figure it all out and all the stuff we did to do that and uh so so it was wild to then you know be acquired by L'Oreal and uh and see inside of this massive company and it was a really cool experience I felt underdressed every single day of my life Oh god. And uh and uh but it was this kind of like really wild moment

where I was just like, "Wow, you know, when I was waitressing table Denny's, I didn't imagine I would be inside of L'Oreal headquarters in Paris." And I, you know, it was the coolest experience. So, so I gave them my word I would stay for three years. Um and I kept my CEO title at Cosmetics. So that meant that I was the first woman in their 100 plus year history to hold a CEO title of any brand. Uh, which was really fun and I learned a ton and in three years.

How ironic is that that you were the only CEO in cosmetics of a beauty brand. That's a woman.

That's a woman. Well, I I I believe you know that what is that saying? Uh, won't be the last. There's going to be a lot more because because for sure.

So, there should be, you know. Are you done there now? Yeah. So, so I double so we doubled the size of the business in the first two years after they bought it and I ran it for three years and then I just had this knowing we talk about and and by the way, oh my gosh, okay. So, you know, I would when we started doing really really well is when I started hearing from book agents and producers and stuff about my story and I always had this feeling like I didn't want to do it unless I I knew it would be authentic and they're like we can have a ghostriter or whatever and I always said no because I was so focused on running the business. So, I said no to meetings for five years. And about a year and a half ago, I just had this feeling like, okay, I'm supposed to give or serve at a at at a at a whole new level. And and share everything I've gone through because what I've learned is like when we share that stuff, it's the most

fulfilling when you have like like even right now, um I'm doing an insider kind of launch group for the book. And so a few people just like your mom are starting to read the book and I'm getting messages of women saying like, "Oh my gosh, this week I made the decision to trust myself and it worked." And I'm just like like sobbing at my this is where I get my greatest joy and my greatest fulfillment. And so I decided that to to step away um because some you know sometimes knowing when to let go of a dream is is as important as knowing when to go after one, right? And I I just had this knowing that it's time to just hopefully, God willing, use everything I've gone through to help hopefully be of service to somebody else. And so I sat in my house all alone and uh sobbed my eyes out and binge ate Lucky Charms and wrote every word in the 80,000 words in the book. And

how are you always calm? Are you always so I feel like you're the most soothing

like you are. You're relaxing. so relaxing and yeah like such a gentle positive energy. It's so love. Is that always

I mean I think I'm the kind of person where I always show up loving. Um I'm probably always underestimated for that reason because like inside I'm like so uh on fire. Uh but like I don't just I don't waste a second of my life uh judging or you know what I'm saying like I just like

we have I mean we have no judgment over here. We don't believe no no judgment. I just love um the story about QVC. Your first time going on QVC

and because this is the ultimate story of of following your heart and following your gut and and doing and staying true to yourself. I feel like that's thrown around all the time. Stay true to yourself. Every time I ask someone, what's your best advice? Stay true to yourself. But this exemplifies, this is textbook stay true to yourself. I would love for you to share that story.

Yeah. I think that we all kind of know or believe these things like, oh, I need to be true to myself, right? But then when it comes to real life and how we show up and how we decide what to do when everything's on the line, that's when it gets really tough to not just like know our values or know what we believe in, but then to actually live them. And I talk a lot in the book about how while authenticity alone doesn't automatically guarantee success. Inauthenticity guarantees failure. And I I saw that now play out over a decade in the tens of thousands of entrepreneurs I've had the blessing of meeting and very few ever make it. I think it's how Oprah has made it. I nobody was ever like her or or is ever like her. And to to reveal all the parts that normally people would hide. That's how we create connection. That's our superpower. And you know I um after three years of hearing no from everyone. I mean, I I

Angie, in every ounce of my being, I kept feeling in my gut like, okay, I created this great product with IT Cosmetics. I it works for me and I have hereditary rosacea. Nothing else would work. And I just kept feeling in my gut like I need to not just launch this product, but also show on real women, every age, uh, size, skin challenge, skin tone, like like show real people using this and show how it works. And I kept having this vision. When I launched the company, it was even before YouTube was doing this. So, no one was doing this. All we saw was these ads on television in commercials where it was usually uh somebody with the same skin tone. They always were like the same age and flawless skin and you never saw anybody with, you know, that look that looked like you and like me. You know what I mean? You just never did. And so I had this vision, oh my gosh, if I can create a product that works and like try

to shift culture however I possibly can in the beauty industry of what how they define beauty. Um like that was my deep deep mission, right, for for every because because growing up when I'd see those ads, I always loved them. I always aspired to look like that. But deep down inside, right, they always made me feel not enough in this in this weird way. So, I was like, "Oh my gosh, if I can create a company whose mission is so much bigger than me and I can try to shift culture in the beauty industry and how they define beauty uh and change those images for every little girl out there who's about to start doubting herself and every adult who who still does." And so, this big vision and then all of a sudden for three years, everyone's telling me it's not going to work. Everyone's saying no. And when a retailer says no to you, what they're saying is, I don't think that we can make money from you

is what they're saying. I we we we don't believe in what you're doing or that it will sell or that it will work. And so three years of that goes on, including, you know, years of hearing no from QVC. And uh it's a it's a crazy wild story I share in the book of how we eventually got a yes to get one shot on QVC. Now, QVC is a live television channel broadcast to a 100 million homes. And uh and when you go live, you have this big sales goal each minute that you're live. Uh and if you're not hitting your sales goal, they pull you off, right? And anyhow, after years of rejection, I got one shot, one yes, big yes to get one chance live on QVC to sell our concealer. And uh we were only selling two to three orders a day on our website, barely in business. And I learned, Angie, that I would need to um to hit their sales goal in the 10-minute window. I would need to sell over 6,000 units of our concealer. Um and I also

learned the deal was going to be consignment, meaning I had to figure out how to make all the product, pay for it, ship it in, and then get my one big shot on air for 10 minutes, and if it didn't sell, it would all come back to me, which means we'd be out of business. Um, so it was a big risk and uh we got we applied for SBA loan just to because we had no money. We had literally no money left. We were down to well under $1,000. So we got 22 banks said no and the 23rd bank uh said yes just to fund the inventory for that one order um for QVC for that one chance in 10 minutes. So basically everything was on the line. I um I flew out to QVC a week before the airing and I sat in their parking lot in this rental car all alone and I just like stared at the front of the building knowing the next time I walked in there uh my whole life was going to change or I would be bankrupt. And here's where

the struggle came is, you know, we hired thirdparty consultants who are amazing. They they help a lot of people succeed on selling in television or selling their products in stores. And they all told me the same thing. And they said, "If you want a chance at at succeeding, here's what you need to do. You need to go on the air in your 10 minutes, use this type of model." And all the models look like they're 12 and they were all the same skin tone with flawless skin. And I'm like, "Listen, like, what if I just take my makeup off and show my bright red rosacea and show the world how this product works? And what if I put real women of every age and shape and size and skin tone and skin challenge and and I would argue and I say because if I'm sitting at home watching, how do I know something's going to work for me if I don't see it on someone who looks like me? Like to me it was so common sense and they were

mortified and they they here's the thing they wanted me to win and they were giving me the best advice they knew how on on what they said is the only way people will buy a product from something from from uh they would say uh these unattainable images of aspiration that no one can possibly look like but that is what sells product and I'm like so it's tough. So, I sat in that rental car knowing that everything was on the line, knowing I had one shot and um and it's, you know, my gut was telling me one thing, right? And experts were telling me another. And these are the moments that define our lives is when we learn to a hear ourselves, hear our gut, and then make the decision to trust it. And it's not always easy, right? And I I sat in that rental car uh every day for a week, and I just, you know, I prayed, I cried. Um, but I also imagined who that woman was watching on the other end. And

I don't know why, but I kept imagining a single mom in Nebraska folding laundry who was like too busy to remember that she mattered and that she's beautiful. And I just kept imagining like if she was going to turn on her television for a few seconds and I was going to be blessed with a few seconds of her time. Like it came down to this moment where I realized I'd rather have her see me showing women who look like her, calling them beautiful and meaning it even if she buys nothing. I'd rather do that than than than sell a ton of product and stand for nothing. Um and so I knew what I had to do, but it didn't mean it was easy. And I I remember walking into QVC studios and um for that one shot that 10 minutes and I when we went live so so I remember standing there in the studio there's this giant countdown clock on the floor that started at the 10-minute mark. I was sweating so much and I'm not

nervous for television but it was that everything was on the line and I was shaking. I remember like hoping my Spanx caught all my sweat because I was like I can't be sweating through a dress on national television. I was freaking out. Um, but I remember the clock started and I remember the moment my barefaced before shot came up on national television and I walked over to all the models that I chose as real women, all ages, all shapes, all sizes, all skin tones, all skin challenges. And I remember there was about a minute left in the um this the presentation and the host says, "The tan shade's almost gone.

The deep shades almost sold out." And I was like and then I remember at the 10-minute mark the huge sold out sign came up across the screen. I start crying on actual television. I remember they cut and then they went to like the next item which is like Dyson vacuum or Vitamix or Apple iPhone or something and my husband comes rushing through the double doors of the studio and I'm like real women has spoken and I'm like crying and he's like we're not GOING BANKRUPT and this

guy such a guy and but that one airing Andy turned into um five year 101 the next year. Anyways, for for eight years straight, uh I did 250 live shows a year on QVC and we built the largest beauty brand in QVC's history. It is right now at this very moment.

But I only share that because it was three years of them saying no. And so like no one whoever was listening and needs to hear this today, no one can tell you how big your dream can be. No one can tell you you're not enough. And and when people reject you and they literally look you in the eye and tell you they don't think you're going to make it or you're not the right fit or you're not this enough or that enough. Like those are the moments we don't we don't quit. We don't give up. You know, maybe we cry a little bit, but those are the moments where we listen to our gut and we stay authentic and we keep going.

And people who do that are the ones who are able to build something that lasts or that matters or that really, you know, makes a a contribution to the world. And I believe every one of us has that inside of us, right? And our life comes down to if we listen to our calling or if we listen to our opposition, you know, because a lot of people, we talk about dream dreaming big today. And I feel like a lot of people uh have these reasons. They think they're not quite ready to dream big yet. And maybe they think they don't have the right support around them or they don't have the right setup on their computer or they don't have the right team they've hired or they don't all these things. And and and I think part of you showing and and me showing hopefully both of us all the real stuff.

It's like, oh, you don't always need to have all that stuff together to start or to dream big and to start uh having that vision. That's a big vision for for where you're going while enjoying the moment.

People, I love that big vision for where you're going while enjoying the moment. and knowing that 100% of success stories you have ever heard, that success story began with somebody going 90 miles an hour and putting the wheels on as they were going and building the thing. They endured years of of mess and disorganization and trying to figure out and doubt and risk of failure on the precipice daily. And you you don't get that easy path when you want to do great things.

It's it's it's it's difficult. Less Brown always said, I love Les Brown. Less has been on our stages. Less is a personal development legend. I hope you know who he is. Less Brown always said he's like, "If you want your life to be easy, do hard things. If you want your life to be hard, do easy things." And it just says like, "Oh, you you have to push. You you have to struggle." Here's what I want everyone to know. Thinking big today. This is my message to you. And thinking big. You are clueless to the depths of your capabilities.

You have no idea what you are capable of. You have no idea what your full potential is. And I'm not judgment. I don't know either. Like there's one guy up there for me. I'm a spiritual person. God's got me. God knows the immensity of the soul he put into this body and no one else does, including me. I have no idea the immensity of the challenges God's got lined up for me five years from now or 10 or three or four minutes. Like, you don't know. But what you do know is you're going to arrive and you will be summoned to call your best forth to serve one day. You will be summoned to rise above your own little insecurities and comforts and joys and ask, "Wow, how can I get more out of myself to be of service in this moment?"

Whether that is your first two years with a new baby and you're like, "My eyes, I can't I haven't slept, you know, or or it's that first four years of your startup. It's going to demand so much of you, but you you will rise to it. You will be capable. You will learn as you go. So, stop all the waiting. Get in the game. Put the wheels on as you're going. Move towards that dream with more rapidness because you'll figure it out as you go. It won't be perfect. Jamie said, "What? You're so vulnerable yet the other day you said to me, I feel like never in my life, Brendon, have I dropped more balls." I think you were saying right now. Yeah, tell tell them about that because you're thinking big.

But tell you've done she's built a billion-dollar business and right now even after having that experience, she feels like this is life, y'all.

Anyway, tell about that. I think I think you know when I think back to the early days of building a cosmetics, there were years of I didn't know what I didn't know, right? And I was trying to do every job in my living room because I couldn't afford to hire anybody. And I think anytime we're also doing something new or dreaming big and trying to go to new levels, just the newness of all of it is overwhelming, right? Because we don't know what we don't know. And uh and so, you know, at the end of a 10-year journey with that, building over a thousand employees and and a billion dollar company and all that, I knew a lot about the beauty industry and about manufacturing and legal and acquisitions and building a team and leadership and all those things, right? And now as a first-time author, I actually feel a whole new game. I feel I like literally I'm back in my living room uh not knowing what I don't know,

right? And and it's it's it's a growth a major season of growth for me. And you know, we you and I Brendan talk a lot about just the idea of being a lifelong student. And and you know, I'm proud to be a lifetime student. And I'm like I I'm honored to learn from everyone in our community right now who's posting in the comments and posting in Facebook and posting in Instagram and part of the Growth Day Morning Show. We learn from each other. Um I learned from all the other growth day coaches and I'm in a season right now of going okay because for the last five years I've been offered book deals because of my story.

But I didn't want to have a ghostriter do it. So I said no for five years. I wanted because I I have learned in my life like you cannot fake authenticity. And you know, one of the things I talk about in the book a lot actually is how, you know, authenticity alone doesn't guarantee success, but inauthenticity guarantees failure. And that's in everything, right? And I talk about all the lessons I've learned around that in the book. But then for me to have that book actually truly serve at the highest possible level, I wanted to write every word myself, I knew it had to be authentic. So, so this has been two years actually, a year and a half, a little over a year and a half of growth and of dropping so many balls and new things, messing it up.

Exactly. Yeah. Like you saw me when I when I got the first cover in, I was like I was cutting it out and taping it to um to J Shetty's book because it was the right size. every little thing I'm like trying to figure it out and and because I want it to be authentic and I want it to be right and I want to have no regrets. But yeah, I am dropping balls everywhere in terms of I mean last night I was up all night writing web copy writing because I want it to be authentic to like the the heart and soul of how I want to serve. and I'm doing a big launch event which we'll talk about later um because it's still top secret but we're going to tell everyone on growth day first but but

she's doing it big she's going for it she listen she decided to write a book and she had I want everyone I know some of you are are think about writing a book or launching something new when she said I'm going to write a book she said I I want it to be a bestseller I want it to really impact millions of people I want it to be a New York Times bestseller I want to I want to really get it out there even though please Listen, she'd never written a book, had no idea how to write a book, and had zero idea how to promote something.

Yeah. Her confidence in thinking big came from her belief in her ability to figure things out. She she's like, I'll figure it out. So, your big vision should not be limited by today's skill set or today's competency. Your big vision should be based on your service. You want to give your dream. You want to live with your family like a and you will develop the skills along the way as you get in motion towards the thing. You don't start the journey perfect. The definition of perfection is to perfect. To perfect requires that you start. You start something, release something, launch something, and you perfect as you go. Per perfect is a verb. It is done to something that is out there that is released that is built to perfect. And so you don't start perfect. You perfect.

And then soon as you go, "Oh, okay. We're going to start this growth day morning show. We don't know how to plug it into Instagram or Facebook. We don't know how to use an Outwork mic, these mics. We don't know what the heck we're doing." Our first four days, we were just perfecting how to do that little piece. We still are. I think that's so important. And and Jamie, I I want to give you credit because I sometimes you feel like you're dropping so many balls because you're so good at what you're doing in every other area, but you're also doing awesome and you got great momentum and I'm proud of you.

Thank you. Yeah. And I I I'm just trying to be brave and I'm trying to and this, you know, this is something um that I think is huge, too, is is is you know, we often talk about when, you know, I have a whole journey of hearing no for for years, right? Experts telling me my vision wasn't going to work for cosmetics and all those kind of things. But I still believe that it's it's our own self-doubt that that kills more dreams than almost anything else. It's our own kind of limitations that we put on ourselves or our own reasons we give ourselves why we need to still wait to do something or we're not quite ready to write the book or any of those things, right? And and I get why because doing it all and putting ourselves out there is scary. Um, and sometimes sometimes it's easier to not dream big because then we don't have to be afraid of of not hitting that mark or we we stay in our comfort zone, right?

But I think that um I think to recap what you said in the start of this, which is so good, it's so good is until we like take those those chains off we put on ourselves, we don't know how much we're capable of. We don't know the level we're capable of dreaming and serving and giving and creating and ideating and inspiring, right? And leading and and all of those things. And I think that, you know,

and the level of discipline you're all capable of, the the level of So Jamie is in what we call a launch window. Uh so for those who are new, Jamie is launching a book called Believe It, and it comes out next month. I hope that you will pre-order on Amazon. It's called Believe It by Jamie Carina. Comes out next month. She's in this time we call a launch window. A launch window is when your life becomes very like deep work, essentialism, high performance habits. You are doing this thing. A lot of balls are following all over there because you have this limited amount of time to launch this thing. And until you've been through that several times, you don't know how much you can get done.

I'll give you an example of thinking big. Uh this month if you told me okay Brandon in one month listen to y'all in one month rebranded the company onboarded 20 plus people and teams from outsourcing and internal all around uh launched a new offering you know brought in all our new growth coaches you know in other words found like eight other new promotional partners and friends to serve built a new software team building the software serving all of our customers without missing too many beats, launching a new community platform, launching this show and somehow enjoying the month.

If you told Brendan, 19-year-old Brendan, that that was he like, I don't know how to hire. I don't know what a brand is. I don't know what a company is. What is like if you if you told your former self that or your future self, I should say,

you don't know what you're capable of. And I'm not saying that to be like, "Oh, look at me." Because I've been feel like I'm putting the wheels on as I'm going. But I said, "Okay, let's just get in motion. We're going to figure it out. We're going to go. It's crunch time. Let's go. Let's move things forward. Move things forward. Move things forward. You will perfect as you go." But I no way could I imagine that we could do all of this in a single month until you go for it, guys. You got to go for your dreams. Thinking big means moving big, taking big action, taking daily, you might call it small actions, but those daily small actions compound.

You got to get in the game. Some of you, it's so easy to sit it out and you're still waiting for someone's approval or someone's understanding. It's like if no one understand, if you feel like no one understands you, you have no one to blame but you.

We're the one we have to learn. I had, and I don't say that judgmentally, I had to learn to communicate. I sucked at communicating. I felt like I didn't have connection with people because I didn't know how to communicate. Be vulnerable, share emotions, like create human like good friendships. I didn't know how to do that. So, I did like a lot of you personal growth lovers. Who read How to Win Friends and Influence People from Dale Carnegie? Anyone read that? Oh my god. Changed my life.

Yeah, I need to reread it. I read it like 20 years ago. So good. Yeah. Such a classic.

Yeah. Yes. I did that because I I was terrible with people. And so now I'm I'm I communicate to millions of people daily.

So if you told that that really awkward dude, oh, you're going to talk to millions of people. You didn't believe it. But as you jump into the dream and you get momentum, you start to believe it more. You get more skills, more capabilities. Those capabilities lead to competency. That competency leads to confidence and you're moving. I don't know. Yeah.

You talk to millions of people. You train other incredible teams. I know I always bring up Oprah's team on the show who I know you've trained, but you you train so many people how to do it also. So, it's like not only do you do it now, you also are like one of the top people in the world at helping some of the top people in the world do it themselves. So, it's it's pretty remarkable. And you know, one thing I want to share because I'm reading the comments. A lot of people saying, "Oh, it's hard to unchain ourselves. It's hard to start. It's hard to start when when you know, we don't know if our idea is good enough or we don't know if our dream is right." And all that kind of thing. And one thing you just said that I just want to call out because I think it's really important is that sometimes people do cheer for you after you've made it. And I want to call this out. Okay. Yes.

Because I've lived through this. I have lived through this. Okay. I I I I have so many stories. So many stories. And that's why so everyone writing a book, it's like it is the greatest joy to go, "Oh my gosh, if people knew I went through all this, they would feel less alone. They would feel like they can get through it, too, because this is the real stuff that happens." But there were so many people that did not cheer for me until after after my company was a success or after we were splashed in all the magazines or after and and often when they start cheering for you then it's in the form of I always knew that you would make it or I always I'm so proud of you. I've been reading for you from the beginning.

You're like no you were but it's okay. or or they're like, you know, they're telling people how they know you and it's wild to watch this. And it's not that they mean harm. Here's what I've when I've peeled back the layers on this. There's a couple lessons here I want to share with anyone, especially if they're scared to start, they're scared to take that jump, if they're scared to dream big and call their shot and go for it and all of that. Because what we start to do, I think, as humans is we share our dreams or our ideas with the people around us. Um sometimes we share them in groups and then what h sometimes we share them with experts or with you know people in our industry that have had a lot of success or whatever and then when we don't get the kind of response we're hoping for right then we start to doubt ourselves and we start to think we're not ready or we think oh you know what a million other people have

done this idea like maybe I shouldn't do it it's already been done so many other times. So, here's the big thing I've learned, okay? Is first of all, as we know, the only way to ever have a human connection is to show up authentically, right? And and that can be with uh your partner, with a friend, with your customers online, with what you're doing, right? With your with how you're launching your dream. So, just to take a step back, if you are doing something authentically, right, your dream. So in my case, there was a million beauty companies out there and I launched a beauty company. Well, there's millions of them. Someone had already done it.

Millions of people had already done it, right? But when you do something authentically, no one can do it the way you're doing it, right? So by definition, what you're doing is novel. By definition, it's never been done before. And here's what I've learned. Other people typically, even experts, even visionaries, they typically can't imagine something being successful unless subconsciously they've already seen proof that it's already been done and it's already been successful.

Yes. But because you're doing it authentically to you, it's never been done before. So don't be surprised when the people around you who love you or the experts who you have so much respect for don't initially give you the reaction to your big dream or your big idea. It's because it's no one's done it the way you're going to do it. So, it's never been done before. It's novel. It's new, right? And they would most people would never admit this. But unless subconsciously they've seen it that way and they've seen it succeed, they're not going to believe that it will. So,

except you know who except people who have done it themselves themselves. Like you and I believe in people. We believe in you guys so much because when you meet people who came from nothing and they built it and they did it, they're the they're the ones who usually are on board like sounds like go for it. Don't know how don't know it's going to work but cheer them on, encourage like people who've actually done it most encouraging. Yes.

Yeah. And we've gone through the journey of hearing thousands of people not believe in us

and then and when you come out of the other side of that you're like, "Huh?" And you have a whole new perspective, right? But the truth is, I mean, in my own my own journey, for example, um, as it pertains to building the company, I also learned years later the hard way after crying myself to sleep a lot of nights after hearing a lot of nos, I learned, oh, wait, most of the beauty retailers, they're amazing and they're great and they all said no to me for years, but they've also never actually built anything themselves. Yeah. Right.

Right. And it's like, oh, and to your point, that's why that's why I'm so passionate about growth day and supporting it however I can, but also this morning show, right? Because it's like when you surround yourself with people that are in that space that share these kind of stories, then you're like, "Oh, okay. I get it that like Aunt Margie said that she didn't think this was going to be a success." But, you know, that's okay. She loves me anyway, and she's never built something like this, so she's she's seeing it through the best lens she knows how. But I'm not gonna let that penetrate me or me calling my shot, me going for my dream, me dreaming big. Right.

What would you say is the most important in your What would you the most important uh trait would be for success?

I think besides believing in yourself because I think that's we've spoken about that so much. Um

yeah, I think a I think I can give you three things but but give me three. really think that and it's not just believe not just believing in yourself believing making the decision to believe success is possible for you. I think that so many of us just think we're not qualified um or we don't have what it takes or we don't come from the right family or we don't come from the right background or we don't have the right education or we don't have the right experience. all those things. And I think we talk ourselves out of it. And I think making that decision to believe it's possible is huge, like huge. Um some of the things that that just come also top of mind is you know I talked a little bit earlier about um when I was building a cosmetics and how it wasn't just about you know finding a product that worked or was I think that so many people can be great at setting goals and so many people have done enough

reading or listened to enough podcasts where they understand the concept of like identifying your why um behind what you're doing right which is like your mission for doing it.

The biggest mistake I think a lot of people make though around this um and it's why they give up or they stop their health journey or they uh whatever it is quit quit the business or or never start it. I think that a lot of people identify a why um that they think is the right one and it sounds really good and if you share it with someone else it sounds really good. Like maybe it's like, oh, I'm doing this because I want to um buy a house or I'm doing this because I want to pay for my kids' college one day or and those are great wise, right? Like they sound so great.

They make so much sense, but often they're not deep enough and they're not meaningful enough to make sure you don't quit when times are tough. And of all the things I did so many things wrong. One of the things I did right was like the pe you you have a why but you have to peel back the layers and go really really deep. Right. So I I I shared like for me like wanting to shift culture and beauty and and and and help help end that that process of every little girl about to start doubting themselves, every grown woman who still does and shift culture on that. That was really deep for me because my whole life I'd felt that not enoughness every time I'd see those beauty images. That was way more deep for me, that that mission to do that for other people than it was to go, "Oh, I want to buy a house." Or, "Oh, I want to create a great product or whatever it is." And I think a lot of people, they've got to go deeper. Like I

think I think they start, you know, whatever it is and they have a great why, but like they've got to put I I suggest I recommend because a lot of people do don't do this is putting in that work of going deeper and deeper and deeper.

So what the purpose the real true purpose Yeah. versus just like a surface level.

Yeah. And they know it like maybe it's like oh I want to you know I I want to pay for my kids school but if that's all it is right there for some people that's not enough. And an example, I'm making this up. I'm making this up, but if someone says, "Oh, you know what? I want to peel back the layers deeper." Maybe the real why there isn't to pay for my kids' college. Maybe the why is to break a multi-generational cycle of complacency or poverty or whatever in your family. And

right, that's a big that's a v that's a big why. Yeah. And that could be the same person, right? But they thought their why was to pay for college. And it's easy to then go, oh, you know what I'm saying? But when it's that deep,

but a lot of times people don't even know that why yet. They have to go down the path first a little bit further to really kind of unravel what was pushing them. Like a lot of times, like what for me anyway, and I know with a lot of people I know, you know, you go down a path for one reason and your your reasons change as you kind of go through it, right? and you morph and grow and then you really find the real

why and I think totally and that's true. I I think when you get to a spot though where you're like, I just want to quit this. And if your gut is telling you to keep doing it, that's when I think it's the time where you also have to then go deeper and be like that, you know, I want to quit, but my gut's telling me not to, but like why is it I want to give up and then just like, you know, in those moments, you know, figure out what is that deep deep deep why that fuels you. Um,

right that I I agree and you always knew well you had two things going for you. I think the first thing is we didn't even touch upon this at the beginning of the podcast but you created uh your cosmetic company because there was you had a need for it. You had you had rosacea that you you you couldn't find any product to actually help you. So you were kind of filling an ailment that you actually had. Right.

And a lot of Right. And a lot of times I feel like when people do that when they're feeling when when they themselves are needing of something and then the the best products usually bloom from that

and and having the why. Did you have that why at a young like because reading your book you had a work ethic? I know you were like in the in your yearbook you said you were like the queen of procrastination or you were like dubbed that. Yeah.

But over time you became your work ethic became extremely clear like what a strong work work ethic you had. Um do you feel like that was a huge part of why you're successful as well is because that that like 100hour weeks and and kind of grinding like you did like you just weren't going to take no for an answer

no matter what. I think I think I think not taking rejection personally was huge. Um uh which I can share about in a minute. I don't think someone needs to work 100hour weeks to succeed. I don't think they need to work a third of the amount of hours I worked to have the kind of success I did. I think when I look back it's one of the things I actually wish I did differently. Um the number of hours I worked. Yeah. Because I don't you know I pray every day. it hasn't taken a toll on my health and all those things I don't know but what I realized is that you know when I fin after three years of solid nos not paying myself when we finally um many years after that started actually you know things were doing really well and our accounts were thriving and we were getting into all these stores I couldn't process at the time or maybe a better word is I didn't know how to believe at the time that the success was

And I worried at every single second it could all come crashing down. And it's another form of imposttor syndrome, right? Where

I was going to say Yeah. And and and so I drove myself so hard because I thought, "Oh my gosh, like I need to strike while the iron's hot." Like like all of that, right? And it it never led up. and and and you know it was a decade before I realized oh

I actually didn't yet believe I was worthy of this success. So, I couldn't believe that it was happening. And it wasn't until I learned to believe it was real, to believe like it's possible for me, it is happening, I have earned it. All those things um that I was able to better prioritize stuff that I was able to make bigger decisions like, you know, we tried to have a baby. I tried to get pregnant for 10 years and, you know, had miscarriages and so many things. And when we finally um welcomed our daughter, she's 2 and a half years old now, wonder into the world, I you know, I was raised with parents that work so hard all the time and they were often not around. And I just made this decision like, oh wow, I'm repeating that cycle and I'm not going to do that uh for my daughter and it's going to be okay and my success is going to continue. And it was really just making those big, you know, shifts um around

that that I was better able to do it. But I don't think uh anyone needs to ever work 100hour weeks. I did it from a place of I couldn't believe this success was happening and I was just driving it so hard because I had a fear it could all come crashing down. And you know, when I was a waitress at Denny's, I could have never imagined um at the time, you know, I always knew like I was supposed to serve in a bigger way and impact and things like that, but I could have never imagined um I would have a thousand employees and, you know, sell my company for over a billion dollars cash. Like those kind of things I couldn't imagine. when they happen to us, it's it's how we react to it

is a whole other thing, right? And um and so that is that's why I did that part. Um so

I like that you say that. I think that's really true and real because um the imbalance right when you work that much you're giving like the this the amount of stress like you were saying you were trying to have a baby and like

you were so overworked your body was like shutting down probably in some way or because of your hormones or probably your cortisol levels you know I mean so unhealthy um and yet it was I think a lot of people can relate to what you're saying is that you most people do that because they don't feel like it's real, like they that that imposture syndrome is such a real thing.

Yeah. Um and that's what motivates people to do that, right? Um Yeah. And I think like, you know, I think that not feeling qualified, not like, you know, all of those things, right? And I I think that I think it's so important we're talking about it too because I think a lot of people who feel it who feel imposttor syndrome, you know, which is like, oh, I'm not qualified to be doing what I'm doing or I don't deserve to have clients trust me or I don't, you know, all the things we think, right, depending on on our own life situation. But like I feel like it's human and I feel like um it's important to talk about it too because a lot of people feel it and they think they're alone in it. You know what I mean? And it's like all through it. And um and for me, you know, I started assembling like a toolkit of things that I would go to like imaginary toolkit like quotes, sayings, stories that I

would go to when I'd start feeling that. And um you know for me and I I think this is universal regardless of of people's faith or whatever but every time I'd start doubting myself or feeling like not qualified or any of those things um to be doing what I was doing yet I felt like uh it was my calling to to be doing it and my mission and my purpose. I felt like a calling but so many times I would doubt I was qualified. And there's these famous words I I would always go to that would help me. So, I'm going to share them in case they in case someone out there needs to hear this right now. Um, for

and the word the the famous saying goes like this. Um, God doesn't call the qualified, he qualifies the called. And I would read those words over and over. And to me, they mean if regardless of your faith, to me, they mean if you have this this this thing you can't shake in your gut, like you're supposed to start the the the group of moms that gets together and just shares the real stuff over wine. whatever it is you feel this thing you're supposed to do uh start the you know the the the book start all those things like I believe it's start the business leave the job you're in all those things I think that if you can't shake it I think it's part of your purpose I think it's part of your calling and to me if something's part of your calling then it's like if God doesn't call the qualified he qualifies the called to me that means you have everything you need inside of you already right to

accomplish the calling you were born to walk into. And so when I do doubt myself, which I still do to this day, those are words that I always reference that help me um and so many other other lessons I share in the book on things that help and just um because

I love that quote though. It's beautiful. It's a really good one. Yeah. Yeah. Do you believe that your optimism allows this all to work? Because if you are looking at losses as in well this was meant to be part of my journey and this scar is actually attractive because that's how I think about it. I think about all those losses as scars and like that scar giving you character and that's attractive. Do you believe that optimism was an incredibly big factor and ingredient in your success?

I think optimism is great. I think though that knowing why we're doing what we're doing, listening to our gut, and going after our calling, like literally living our calling. I think that's the victory.

Hold on. Hold on though. Here's here's an interesting question. Every human needs levels of affirmation along the way to sustain that,

right? And so in the beginning where you're not seeing those results for many and I you might have you know I've always seen results pretty quickly in my good calls. So I I always try to think about someone who's not seeing it. So because they don't have optimism they have delusion and they think they're going to be you know Beyonce when they can't sing right do do you feel like the you know believing in your calling gets affirmed along the way?

What do you rely on in that beginning? Don't you think blind faith is actually completely grounded in optimism?

I mean for me my faith is a huge part of my of my life. I I'm gonna take religion as faith out on the I'm saying I'm I was you know I'm just thinking about you young you in this moment and I'm really fascinated by it. I'm meant to do this because what you're talking about is what I love which is the journey.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm trying to get into your Go ahead please. Yeah. Yeah. I was going to say I don't think the victory is the outcome, right? I don't think the victory Listen, I know I know how accomplished you are and everything. I know you're going to have the New York Jets one day. I know all that, but I don't think that's the victory. I think the victory is is is the journey of actually like stepping into all of who you are and not talking yourself out of your own truth. And what I mean by that is this journey of that we're talking about, right? of course optimism, of course, uh, resiliency to get back up every time you're knocked down, of course, all those things. But I think that so many people listening right now, if they don't ever learn to get still and hear their own truth and hear their own intuition, I think what's going to happen, and this is what happens to most people, is they end up

uh staying in their comfort zone. They end up uh uh putting other their own immediate failures on a pedestal or other people's opinions or self-doubt, they end up talking themselves out of their own truth and then they end up never actually becoming the person they're born to be. So for me, I don't think like the fact that I was able to build a billion dollar company is the victory. I think the moment of me knowing this is what I'm supposed to do and trusting it even when it doesn't make sense. Um, and I'll give you one example, okay, of of this. So, and maybe this will this will make sense because optimism of course is important and I know what you're saying, but I think the biggest thing is learning how to hear yourself and trust yourself. I really believe that. Um there was a moment

how do you how do you define that that as a term because I view that as self-belief and confidence and optimism. I'm just I think that you're such a you know very quickly I'm like oh she okay this is this is my sister like literally within the first three seconds you're like oh I see oh I see. So what I'm trying to do and I apologize because I want I'm hoping a different voice might do this for the listener. I'm trying to figure out what words you use to quantify. I fully agree with you everything you're saying. I I'm wondering if you view optimism as so I think optimism similar to what we were talking about earlier sometimes gets pegged as delusion.

Yeah. And I've been thinking, you see where I'm going? Because I could almost feel you doing that right now. And I'm like, I get you sister because like like this isn't why I like it's so word smithing matters, right? Like for example, hustle has gotten demonized as like burnout. So I no longer use it

because I don't need it. You know what I'm going to call it? Work ethic. Call it what you want. Here's what I can tell you. for all the belief you had and all the love you had in doing what you were doing, I'm a pretty confident based on your outcome that there was a lot of work ethic there. And so, whatever you want to call it. And sometimes I just think about I know the word hustle triggers people. So, I use the word work ethic now because I don't want to ever not let anybody who cares to listen to me not realize that if you don't put in the work, it is impossible. Thoughts on that?

Yeah, I agree with that. And I just had a big aha moment that what you're saying is optimism. I a billion percent agree with and I I I'm thinking of that right now as belief. Um same thing. Yep. And now I'm right there with you. Like here's the thing when when and then I want to share one quick story with you too that I hopefully someone listening right now maybe needs to hear. But I mean when I look back it's like when people are like, "Oh, how did you start with Close to Nothing and build a billion dollar company?" It's like, yeah, I got, you know, I got back up every time I got knocked down and I followed my gut and I worked really, really hard. Uh, but I do think that one of the most important things I did was just like how to build a billion dollar company from nothing. Like I think one of the most important things is making that decision to believe that you can.

Yes. And for me that that's optimism exactly what you're saying and I and I guess I call it belief. So yeah, a million% with that. Um, and one more thing just on maybe people listening to us right now that are like, "Oh, Gary, like Jamie, I, you know, I trust my gut sometimes and it's wrong or I tried it once and it didn't work or I don't know how, you know, don't know how to hear my own intuition." I just want to say I think that it is a muscle that we can all build. And I think people have to give themselves grace, right? It's almost, it reminds me of like when you start to meditate, a lot of people try it and they can't do it. they're like they go through their to-do list in their head the whole time they're trying to meditate or but you have to like give yourself grace and start and you know what I would say uh whether it's entrepreneurs or someone who's 14 years old and out there dating right now I

would say when you start to look back at your experiences and think about moments when you had a gut feeling and you didn't follow it like we've all dated like a sketchy guy or had a and like you're like you know his phone didn't really just dis like shut off for three days or he didn't lose the phone he like you know and then you kind of make that decision of like okay

talk talk to me about I mean we are really vibing here I actually want to talk to you offline because I just have had the thought um talk to like I'm sorry to interrupt but I'm so excited

right insecurity right because you're like to me like thinking to my girlfriends friends that were girls that were dating guys that I knew what the guys were doing which was they were praying on my friends insecurities and sometimes brilliant beautiful girls and I'm like this sucks.

Yeah, this woman it really triggered something in me. This woman I'm thinking about four or five friends through the last 20 years. This woman is subjectively and if we had a hundred people ask is a million miles better than this man. This man has figured out the cheat code that if he makes her feel insecure he has the leverage. Thoughts?

Yep. I think that happens every single day. And I think that we uh we look for people that um treat us how we believe we deserve to be treated like like we find partners.

So so you go you go with cool before you worry about jerk off Johnny. This is a big game of your own lack of self-love towards you.

It's your own lack of self-love because here's the thing and I don't know your friend so I'll just say this. I I'll make a general statement.

You you'll appreciate this. This was mainly 17 to 25 years old because you see that so commonly there. I mean in later stages, you know, people are in really deep relationships and you're in different parts of your life. When you're going through high school and college, you're spending so much time with people, you get better reads to the cle the cleanness of the data is like, "Oh, this is really up." When you're older, you're running in different circles, you don't really get to see it as easily,

right? And I think that whether you know, no matter your age, this is what I believe. I think that when someone's treating us like crap and we stay with them, I think it's because it's we deep down inside don't believe we deserve better yet. And here's the thing for for people like that that are dating your friend who's totally screwing them over, right? If you were to bring the the best, most qu most amazing, beautifully like kind person into their space, that same girl would probably put them in the friend zone.

I couldn't. Yeah. Because they don't believe. Yeah. It's what they're and and also people value different things through their life. You know, one of the things, you know, right now we live through a generation desperately interested in blaming social media for lack of accountability. They're just pointing fingers,

right? Like it if you are in a good place with yourself and your perspective is strong around gratitude, an anonymous person's negative comment is not going to ruin your day.

Yeah. And I think when it does, I think that's what's so tough, right? That's when it's a reminder to ourselves like, "Oh yeah, we have some more work to do." Um, one of the things I talk about in my book, Believe It, is just that ability to learn to turn down the volume uh on certain things and turn up the volume on other things. Like one one example, um, we were three years into building the company, right? I was hearing no from everyone, Gary, like from all the retailers I dreamed of carrying our products that I used to shop in, right?

I would save my tip money like I mentioned as a Denny's waitress and buy products at the department stores or in

what and what and J what what what year was this? Uh so so we launched 2007 uh like I quit my job 2007 I wrote the business plan on my honeymoon flight to South Africa with my husband. Not the most romantic way to kick off a marriage. And we both got back uh quit our jobs dove all in. I thought Gary maybe so many entrepreneurs listening. I thought, "Oh, if I just pour everything I have and actually create a product that works, like it's just going to sell. If it's that good, it's just going to sell." Uh, and then I didn't realize it would be the hard. I mean, I've had a lot of jobs in in my life, but being an entrepreneur is by far.

Well, you especially also built that brand different than building a brand today where you can use Shopify and social media to build it. You had to get a yes from Sephora, Ulta, you know, Walmart, Walgreens, and you know, Macy, whoever it was. And that is difficult when you're innovating the way you did. Do you know that my whole life is no? Do you know Vayner Media? A lot of people listening don't know this. Most brands don't want to say yes to Vayner Media. We don't want to do a commercial and then go to sleep. Like, we don't want to take 12 weeks to do the perfect commercial and then do print ads that look like it or banner ads or digital programmatic. My whole life building Vayner Media is no everything I do as Gary Vee is easy. I just do it with the audience. But Vayner Media is exactly I know what you're living through because when you innovate and you're doing something different and you don't look

the part, you didn't work at Proctor and Gamble for 13 years. Yeah. Like what's this Washington State thing like they you know you know what it is.

Well and it's wild because I would go in and start you know I would pitch the product and you know we were staying alive uh on social media. So we were getting, you know, people were were writing just blogs at that point and we were selling like one to three orders a day on our website and people were were spreading the word. That was the only way we we barely stayed alive. But all the retailers exactly what you said and by the way I've learned this like when you're doing something that's authentic or that is different. But even if it's just authentic to you even in a crowded industry by definition it's novel. By definition it's never been done before.

And I really believe looking back now at this journey and and and everything I believe that like even vision even a lot of visionaries touted visionaries I think they can't imagine anything being successful unless subconsciously they have they have proof in the back that they've already seen it and it's already worked. So it's like of course so many people are going to say no to your dream or doubt your dream if they've never seen it done before. And we had three years of every single beauty retailer saying no you're not the right fit. Uh it's not going to work. you're not right for our customers. And I kept, and by the way, we talk about gut feeling. I kept having this gut feeling we're supposed to go on QVC because then I could actually like show my bright red rosacea and prove live that our product works, unlike the photoshopped ads on TV. And this is just something to share for someone who might need to hear this

right now who's having a gut feeling, but they feel like they're wrong. Like I kept having this feeling, and every time I would do a meeting with QVC, it would be a no. every phone call I'd finally get like I got their head guy Alan Burke on the phone. Um he's like a legend. He's responsible for building this billion dollar uh beauty empire on QVC and I finally got him on a call and I thought for sure it was going to be a yes and because if he's taking his precious time and it was about a minute into the call and he said I just need to let you know we've reviewed your product with all the buyers. It's unanimous.

It's a no. You're not the right fit for QVC. And of course I like poured my heart out. I'm like oh but I am the right fit. And then I, you know, we were down to under $1,000 in our bank account at that point. So I remember like crying myself to sleep. And long story short, a year later when I finally did get a yes to go on QVC, um, I took this big risk that that I was advised not to by consultants and I put real women of all shapes and sizes and skin tones and skin challenges and I showed my own bare face and all the things that had never been done before.

We sold out at the 10-minute mark. I was crying on national television because it's live. QBC is live to 100 million homes.

You knew you knew the truth and your heart would win. Not, you know, students telling you what to do.

Yeah. You know, and and listen, it was a big risk, but I feel like I know this lesson that like I know this and now I've seen it play out with thousands of entrepreneurs over the years, but you I know that authenticity alone doesn't guarantee success, but in authenticity guarantees failure, right? So, I just want to share something. Anybody out there feeling like, oh, do I belong and do I have what it will I be embraced by this industry I'm in? You know, we all have those the same thoughts. And this is gonna be a bold statement.

Get them. Get them. What I realized, I could have never sold my company for over a billion dollars had I not been odd. Had I had I ever listened to all the feedback along the way from really well-intentioned experts and retailers about how to conform about how my packaging needs to be about how to fit in in this beauty space about what I need to change or or alter or you know or create to fit in to what's going to sell. Had I ever listened to that when it w when it didn't feel authentic to to who I was, uh it never would have happened. And here's what I mean by that. And I just want to share this for anyone who needs this today because this is

so so so powerful because a if you are doing something authentically to you, by definition, no one else out there can do it the way you do it, right? So by definition, it's novel. It's never been done before. And listen, I right, I went to a beauty space. There's millions of beauty companies, but you know, I stayed authentic and did it a different way. Was told I was odd. Was told your idea is not going to work. And you guys, I started in my living room and it was three years of, you know, having this product that I believed in so strongly that worked for me. Um, but I didn't want to have crazy fancy expensive packaging because I always felt like as a consumer, for me, if I bought something that was so fancy, like it was really pretty, I would put it on my counter and I would look at it,

but I wouldn't use it. I wanted people to Exactly. I wanted people to not be afraid and to use it. Um, and so I was told over and over by a lot of retailers,

your your packaging is not expensive or fancy enough. Um, and then when I wanted to use real uh women and people as models, I was told women won't buy makeup unless unless there's such this aspirational thing of beauty that they can never look like that's what we'll sell. And I'm like that doesn't like maybe just maybe women are sick and tired of seeing people who don't look like them modeling a product because how are they going to know it works for them if they don't see somebody that has anyways? So I would keep going in and I kept getting

so true. right? You're not the right fit. Well, you're bringing your values into your work, which is so key. You're bringing your values into work. You're like, I want to have,

you know, models for IT Cosmetic who look like regular humans, you know, not like the the traditional, you know, wave model. We wanted to have people who, you know, were um just joyous and happy and not like,

you know, you really wanted like you had people with I was I remember looking back at some of your stuff that you did and it was like, oh, these people have regular human facial expressions. You ever open those magazines and you look at everyone's facial expressions, you're like that's not even a just, you know, anyway.

And it's overly photoshopped. But I used to say to them like, you know, I like I I'm creating a company that authentically believes every person's beautiful, so why wouldn't I show every person as the models, right? And it was this just constant push back. And by the way, sometimes it's little things. I remember, you know, I love some good sweats. Like I'm wearing sweats today. I love some good sweats. And I'll be fancy every once in a while. But in the start, for for those of you that that haven't heard the story, we sold I sold my the company I started in my living room to L'Oreal for over a billion dollars and it was three years of meetings with them. And the first time I ever walked into their office, I felt so odd, so out of place, like everyone dresses so well and and you know, and I was just like, okay. Um, you know, and but here's the thing. I didn't change who I was. and and I didn't start dressing like

everyone at that company and I didn't start right and what happened my whole point in all this you guys is you know by the time L'Oreal bought our company for $1.2 $2 billion. This is after years of meetings. They have the most beautiful portfolio of like 40 companies, 40 different beauty brands, and none of them were doing what we're doing. Like, they're all doing their own thing really beautifully because I stuck to being odd and I didn't conform every time. I thought, "Oh, well, if I do this, then that retailer will carry our products or if I change our packaging, then we'll be accepted." Like, had I changed everything, they would have never bought our company because we would have been doing what everyone else is doing. And instead, because we were odd, we brought value to their portfolio. We didn't compete with anyone else in their portfolio. We were odd. We brought a whole new value and a whole

new customer base. Um, and let me let me give another word for this too, Jamie, because this is like I really want to because I want to I want to transfer this from, you know, odd or even authentic, which can be, you know, kind of like sometimes I know some watching might think, well, that's like pop self-help, you know, here they are just being positive about this. Let me let me share like with some hard truth what that means. Being odd means you bring what is important to you into your day every day. You bring what is important to you into your work because what is important to you, that's your values. That's your inclination. That's your vision. That's your unique spirit or voice or inner speaking to I want to do this and I want to do it in in this unique way. That's my way. And when you honor that and you show up and you do that over and over and overall, your quote unquote brand, whether that or who you are or how you

live as a mom, as a teen, as a leader, what what happens and what manifests is this unique identity that's truly you because you are living the things that are important to you and you're bringing what's important to you into every day. And so for those of you who aren't on this track to build a billion-dollar company or you're like, "Ah, I'm not like Brandon. I don't do that stuff, you know, on the internets." Here's what I'm saying.

Bring what is important to you into the world every day. And that oddness, that uniqueness, that will manifest itself into what you feel is living a life of personal freedom. Doing what is important to you and beautiful to you. And that's where you find fulfillment. Because I always say fake does not equal fulfillment.

You can't fake it into fulfillment. You you you can fake it and get things done. You can fake it and stand out for a minute,

but over the long term, you'll be miserable because you didn't bring what's important and true to you into your life.

Yeah. And so what Jamie had her ultimate success just knowing her now as as a friend and doing this growth day morning show together and we have we have so much conversation together pretty much on the daily now. It's like she brought what is important to her into her space. She had rosacea. She said, "I'm going to solve this rosacea thing. I need that. That's important to me." She solved her rosacea challenge by concocting cosmetics that are in her house and that became literally a billion dollar empire, y'all. So, you just have to go what's important to me. Let's work on that. Let's solve problems that are important to me. Let's let's express myself in ways that are true to me. And if you do that year over year over year over year, that's how you build something real.

Yeah. And and I love that you use the word unique because that's such a great word, too, right? Versus odd. like you we were odd but unique the things you know

I'm from Montana I say weird I'm weird right you're weird and my big thing is yes live those like you said yes bring them into what you're doing but also don't be scared of them when someone else doesn't get it like that don't change don't change your uniqueness or your weirdness or your oddities when they're true to you and to your values just because someone else doesn't get it you know what I mean and and I think that's the most important thing even though like I I'll probably talk about this for another hundred years but rejection sucks and rejection is painful and it never got you know it maybe got a little easier because I've gone through hearing no probably thousands of times in the journey but you know it's it's never fun but had I ever listened to that that you're not enough feedback when it was something that was an authentic unique oddity of a value I believed in. Had I ever changed that, we would have never

ever had the outcome that we did. And it was just such a real life full circle good learning that oh wow, it was our oddities, our uniqueness, our all of that about our company that we stayed true to that ended up be, you know, really building something of value. And I I was I love reading everyone's comments,

you know, just about your faith and how your faith has driven you through all of this. I know, you know, you didn't do it alone. You've definitely had a force guiding you your whole life. It's no doubt.

Yeah. How important was your faith in God on this journey and doing all of this and also just living your life the way you had have lived?

Yeah. I um I love that you say too I share it all in the book because it's like 95% stuff I've never shared including my journey of faith. And for anybody, you know, listening or watching right now, if you've ever struggled with God doubt, right? Like for decades of my life, John, I would pray and then I would feel like maybe I'm a fraud because I don't know that I fully believe God exists. And I struggled with it. And you know, I I mean, this was decades. And then when I I um went to graduate school in New York and I was around a lot of people that had different faiths, no faith, believe only in science uh and they believed only in things you could truly like see, prove, touch for with of which of course faith is not required. And um the more I was around all of it, it really started me second-guessing everything about faith.

And I I share in this book for the first time what I did and and what happened from there. Um and and how I what how I handled that, right? Um and there was a moment actually where and I was raised in families that didn't go to therapy or didn't like you just either don't talk about it or you figure it out, right? There's a season I went through where whole another story in the book finding out I was adopted by surprise in my in my 20s and there were so many things that happened personally um uh struggling with fertility so many things. So anyhow I was in this season of just you know feeling so down for the first time ever and and between not knowing where I came from with my parent not knowing if God exists. I um I started seeing a therapist for the first time and she said one thing to me during one of the sessions that changed my entire faith journey and I don't even know what she believes and no clue by

the way. She I've never heard her talk about God in any of our sessions. So I said to her one day that I was doubting God exists and that all these things. And she says to me, "Well, why don't you tell him?" I'm like, "What do you mean?" She goes, "If God created the entire universe, what makes you think he can't handle your doubt? tell him you doubt him and ask him to prove you wrong. Ask him to prove you wrong beyond a shadow of a doubt. And I'm like, "Okay." And so that started a multi-year thing where like I mean, let me just keep it really real because I love you, John. I'll just keep it like real. I'm just going to I'm just going to pretend your whole community is my friend just like you are. And I'm just going to say it. I would literally pray and be like, you know, I would pray for, you know, this person's health and this and all those things. And at the end, I'd be like, "Ann, um, I'm doubting you exist." So if

you could please prove me wrong, I would be very grateful. Like prove me wrong beyond a shadow of a doubt. Like can you show up somehow where I just know like in Jesus name, amen. Like that those would be my prayers. And um and this went on for years and stuff started happening that literally beyond a shadow of a doubt was God. In some cases it it was like told to me it was God. And the more years that went on, the more I just grew to know beyond a shadow of a doubt, God's in control, God's time, all of these things, right? Um, uh, I won't share the whole story because so much of it is in the book, but the QVC host that came up to me that day and finally we got finally got a shot on QVC. So, she retired after we launched, right? The one who discovered me at the expo many years later. uh she was, you know, years she had left QVC years before. We grew to be the biggest brand and number one

brand. And so I was like, I have to thank her uh for loving our product that day. So I I looked her up. I called her and I said to her, you know, "Oh my gosh, thank you so much for loving our product. You changed my life. Like could you can you believe we're the biggest brand in QVC's history?" And she says to me, "Oh honey, I I I do love your product, but that is not why I went up to you that day." I'm like, "What do you mean?" She goes, "I was walking that expo with thousands and thousands of women." She goes, "I clearly heard God tell me to go up to you and help that girl." And she goes, "And I just listened." And I'm like, "Whoa." Right?

There's so many stories like that that have happened. And so, just to sh and I share so much more in the book, but anyone who's going through that who who believes but doubts, right? For me, telling God I doubt him, asking him to prove me wrong has changed my entire journey of faith. Um, and the last thing I'll say is like I talk about my toolbox and um, all of that. And just for anyone listening or watching right now who struggles with doubt a lot, right? I talk about so many tips in the book, but if you struggle with feeling like you're not qualified or you doubt yourself or you get distracted by what other people are doing that looks so good online and they look so successful and this that or someone else has launched your product, whatever it is, like at the end of the day, if you keep checking in with yourself and feeling in your gut, this is your purpose, you're on the right track, this is your mission, one thing

in my toolbox, a famous saying that I used to always pull from that really helped me every time I would just try to channel it. Um, and when every time I felt not qualified, um, and the famous saying, just in case whoever, some someone needs to hear this right now, somebody in your community needs to hear this right now. Uh, the famous saying is, uh, God doesn't call the qualified, he qualifies the called, right? And I would tell myself that over and over and over because to me it means if you're on the right track, you feel it, um, then I think it's part of your purpose and it's part of your calling, part of your mission. And if he doesn't call the qualified, he qualifies as a call. To me, that means you already have everything you need inside of you right now, right, to accomplish your dreams.

Um, it just comes down to believing it for yourself. Yeah. No one can keep you from what God has planned for you.

Yes. And I got to tell you, when you were telling me the story about the woman saying that God told her to come talk to you, wow, I got goosebumps like you would not believe. Like that was I just had an a spiritual experience as you were sharing that goosebumps which always happens when God is showing up saying there's something more here. This is bigger and wow that was powerful when you said that major major goosebumps on that moment.

Ladies and gentlemen rock this house and welcome to the stage K Learn. Every single one of us has had someone tell us we're not enough.

Questions about this episode

Who speaks in "The Beauty of Surrender: How to Find Success by Letting Go of Control And Trusting Yourself"?

Jamie Kern Lima (Guest), Brendon Burchard (Host).

What is "The Beauty of Surrender: How to Find Success by Letting Go of Control And Trusting Yourself" about?

The discussion centers on the importance of surrendering control and embracing self-trust in the pursuit of true fulfillment. It highlights the struggle of balancing professional success with personal presence and joy, emphasizing that meaningful experiences often stem from moments of genuine connection rather than mere achievements.

What is mentioned in this Jamie Kern Lima episode?

25 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including QVC, God, Believe It, Intuition (gut feeling), GrowthDay, Mission. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "The Beauty of Surrender: How to Find Success by Letting Go of Control And Trusting Yourself"?

The episode runs 1 h 29 min; the transcript is about 17,406 words in 186 timestamped sections.

More from Jamie Kern Lima

About this transcript: the episode's spoken words as captioned on YouTube, split into timestamped sections. Reclip.Me locates every person, work and idea in the text, keeps the time it is first named, and quotes the words around it verbatim. Last updated January 24, 2026.