Transcript

The Most Dangerous Lie You Tell Yourself About Rejection | Jamie Kern Lima

From Jamie Kern Lima · Episode page · Watch on YouTube

· 1 h 29 min · 17,372 words · 164 timestamped sections

This is the full, timestamped transcript of "The Most Dangerous Lie You Tell Yourself About Rejection | Jamie Kern Lima", an episode of Jamie Kern Lima published February 4, 2026 (1 h 29 min, about 17,372 words). It mentions 10 people, works and ideas, including Believe It, Jamie Kern Lima, IT Cosmetics, L'Oreal, Oprah Winfrey.

What this episode is about

In this discussion, Jamie Kern Lima emphasizes the critical journey from self-doubt to self-belief in the face of rejection, drawing on her personal experiences and the lessons learned while facing years of setbacks. She encourages individuals to embrace their authenticity and use rejection as a catalyst for growth, ultimately striving to overcome external discouragement to realize their true potential.

Key takeaways

  • Rejection isn't failure; it’s a prelude to resilience and authenticity—you can’t fake a genuine connection.
  • Success hinges on congruence; the best survive not by skill, but by being themselves on and off stage.
  • The comfort zone is a cozy prison—dare to step out, or risk missing the best version of you.
  • Authenticity is the ultimate freedom; stop pretending and start connecting—life’s too short for social media facades.
  • Your internal narrative shapes your reality; shift from doubt to belief, and watch doors swing wide open.

Who speaks in this episode?

What is discussed, and when

  1. – 10:00: Jamie Kern Lima, Believe It, IT Cosmetics, QVC
  2. – 20:00: Jamie Kern Lima, Believe It, Oprah Winfrey
  3. – 30:00: Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., Believe It, L'Oreal, Oprah Winfrey
  4. – 40:00: Believe It
  5. – 50:00: Louise Haye, IT Cosmetics, Hay House
  6. – 1:00:00: L'Oreal, Believe It, IT Cosmetics
  7. – 1:10:00: IT Cosmetics, Believe It, L'Oreal
  8. – 1:20:00: IT Cosmetics, Denny's
  9. – 1:29:25: Believe It, L'Oreal, Denny's

Notable quotes from "The Most Dangerous Lie You Tell Yourself About Rejection | Jamie Kern Lima"

  • I wanted to wait to do my first ever book till literally I could write every word myself. And every lesson I've learned on exactly your question is why I wrote this. Like this.
    about Jamie Kern Lima · at
  • Room and most of them only last one show, maybe two, and they're gone. And I would like over the years I would think what is that commonality between the people who end up building something?
    about QVC · at
  • Blueprint. And he was using these words long before so many other people were using them, right? And he talked about your life's blueprint about how no one else can tell you're…
    about Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. · at
  • The whole imposttor syndrome which is like how is a girl like me who is a waitress at Denny's all these things doing six looks how do I even figure out what looks are that's…
    about Denny's · at
  • Desk. This is a calendar of affirmations from Hay House. this is Louise Haye. I hope you all read You Can Heal Your Life from Louise Haye. Louise Haye and Wayne Dyer. who were…
    about Louise Haye · at
  • Started. So, I thought I was working in my dream job. And, since I was a little girl, I always would, sit in my living room and watch Oprah and I always thought oh, one day I'm going to share other people's stories with the world. I.
    about Oprah Winfrey · at
  • Which it was certainly all those things, but I wanted to shift culture in the beauty industry. I wanted to create a business where if I ever were going to make it, I wanted to…
    about IT Cosmetics · at
  • Herself to learning how to believe in herself. And my first book, believe it, is really my journey of learning how to believe in myself, but worthy is really the playbook on how do you believe in you.
    about Believe It · at

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

  • Jamie Kern Lima — Person · Main guest · 6 mentions · first at
    Primary interview subject sharing her journey from self-doubt and rejection to building IT Cosmetics, and promoting her book(s) about self-worth, authenticity, and resilience.
  • Oprah Winfrey — Person · Referenced mentor / influential figure · 2 mentions · first at
    Used as a personal inspiration and real-world relationship example for Jamie (mentorship-at-a-distance, then later direct connection), illustrating self-worth and “belonging” themes.
  • Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. — Person · Referenced historical leader / source of inspiration · 2 mentions · first at
    Invoked on MLK Day as a model of courage, worthiness, and “life’s blueprint,” reinforcing the episode’s themes of self-belief and rising above opposition.
  • Louise Haye — Person · Referenced author / affirmations influence · 2 mentions · first at
    Mentioned as the source behind a Hay House affirmations calendar and as an author recommendation (“You Can Heal Your Life”), supporting the discussion on self-talk and inner voice conditioning.

Books & papers

  • Believe It — Book · Primary recommendation · 10 mentions · first at
    Jamie Kern Lima's book about overcoming self-doubt and learning to believe in oneself, central to the episode's discussion.

Companies & orgs

  • IT Cosmetics — Company · Business focus · 12 mentions · first at
    Founded by Jamie Kern Lima, IT Cosmetics is a billion-dollar cosmetics company known for its inclusive marketing and product line.
  • L'Oreal — Company · Business focus · 6 mentions · first at
    Acquired IT Cosmetics for over a billion dollars, marking a significant milestone in Jamie Kern Lima's career.
    My story as you know Denny's waitress builds billion dollar business or first woman to hold a CEO title in L'Oreal's history of any brand in their 100 plus year history. My…
  • QVC — Company · Business focus · 2 mentions · first at
    Platform where Jamie Kern Lima showcased IT Cosmetics products, despite initial rejections.
  • Denny's — Company · Referenced work · 3 mentions · first at
    Mentioned as part of Jamie Kern Lima's early career before founding IT Cosmetics.
  • Hay House — Company · Referenced work · 1 mention · first at
    Publisher mentioned in the context of personal development and affirmations.
    Desk. This is a calendar of affirmations from Hay House. this is Louise Haye. I hope you all read You Can Heal Your Life from Louise Haye. Louise Haye and Wayne Dyer. who were…

Full transcript with timestamps

And with years of rejection, what would your advice be to a listener who's, you know, who who every once in a while they'll get a glimpse or they they know deep down that they that there's a version of themsel that they could be, do, have, or even share at another level. Um, and yet family or their their experience in the external environment is not really supportive, you know, and they they have doubt, you know. What would what would you say is what would your advice be to that person?

Yes. I want to jump out of my chair right now. I know. I know. I know. I'm so excited because this your the question you just asked literally is exactly why I wrote this book. Right. For 10 years, lit agents were asking me to write a book or do a movie. And they're like, "Well, we'll get a ghostriter for you." And I'm like, "No." Like, I I wanted to wait to do my first ever book till literally I could write every word myself. And every every lesson I've learned on exactly your question is why I wrote this. Like this is for everyone who wants to go from not believing themselves to believing themselves and like not like trusting trusting themselves or even knowing how and like going from doubting their enough to knowing they're enough. And to me it's everything because in my journey now right when you fast forward and you're like oh wow you sold your company for over a billion dollars and you know

even though QVC rejected us for years I tell how I turn that no into a yes in the book and I I talk about the whole thing but I talk about the thousands of other entrepreneurs I've met in the journey and how so many people actually don't last right and I talk about why and that throughine of authenticity is so important. Um, and one more tip on this because I'm gonna get so excited.

Okay, I'm like jumping out of my my chair. Um, it's like my favorite thing because this is why I wrote this book. So many people have the like like they're called to do great things. They're they they are born and created to give more and just serve more and like step into all of who they are. But so many people never actually do. So many people like end up like never like like missing out on the person they're actually born to be, right? Because in a lot of ways it's easier to not figure out how to and just stay in your comfort zone and listen to the people around you. So, so two quick things on that that hopefully are of service to everyone listening if if they're not doing these yet. For me, I didn't do them for a long time. like this story this a lot of the stories in this book are a girl who did not believe in herself and the journey of learning how and all the things I did wrong and the

things I did right that that I realized so the first thing I'll say about uh authenticity because so many of us are scared to be who we really are right because we fear rejection or isolation or not being included or judgment or all those things And first of all, the just one little tip, and you'll you'll know this so probably way more than I do, Jim, but one thing that's always helped me is like so many studies out there talk about how it's impossible to have a real true connection with another human being. If you show up as your representative, if you don't show up as your full authentic self for better or worse, right? The good parts, the bad parts, the quirky parts, whatever. And whether the relationships you want to have are with your partner or your customers or your customers or your community on social media, you actually cannot have a fully authentic relationship if you're not showing up as

your full authentic self for better or worse. And so if right now you're listening and you're like, "Oh, well, I'm showing up kind of as the person I think I need to be, or I'm getting distracted by other people on social media because they're having great success, or their podcast is doing well, or their business, my competitor's businesses are having success by doing this, so I'm going to do that." You are robbing yourself of of that actual authentic connection with your own customers, your own community, or your own friends, or your own family. That literally is the only way from my experience to build anything that lasts, anything that matters. Like in my journey of now doing over a thousand live TV shows on QVC, right? I've met thousands of entrepreneurs in the green room and most of them only last one show, maybe two, and they're gone. And I would like over the years I would think

what is that commonality between the people who end up building something? And it's never how smart they are. It's never how skilled they are on television. It's never that. It's the ones that like are the same way in the green room

when no one's watching as they are on air. And they they're not none of them are the same. Some are crazy and wild and some are totally like whoa. And some are really kind. But the ones that have that congruency that show up on air and sell their product, whatever it is, whether it's a Dyson vacuum or a personal growth, whatever it is,

they're the same, right? Because guess what? That the people watching are able to connect because you can't fake authenticity. And I feel like learning that is freedom because it is so stressful when you feel like you need to show up on social media as something that you're not because you're trying to build a following and get more likes or you're you're you're showing up in the dating world and you're and you're you're as your representative

because whatever. It is so stressful. But like when you realize being authentic is the it's the most freeing thing because you you you now no longer care if something's working for a competitor in your industry or this or that because it doesn't matter unless it's truly authentic to who you are and and um one quick thing is like I used to end up we built to over a thousand employees. So, I went from not paying myself for three years over a thousand employees. And they would get so sick of me saying this, but it I feel like it was one of the keys to to to our success was I would they would, you know, tell me something a competitor was doing or a new product launch or whatever. And I would say, "Listen, our our biggest threat to our business is not what the competition's doing. It's the risk of us getting distracted by it and like getting tempted to dilute our own authentic secret sauce. That's it. And

and it was kind of like staying true to that helped us actually build something that mattered and listening to that even sometimes when the experts out there or in my case the retailers were telling me they didn't believe in it. Um and one more quick thing uh is just um in this process uh because you mentioned you know the people around you if they're doubting you right another big tool just to share with everyone listening that that help me is just uh everybody around you in your circle whether it's friends a partner people you work with um uh whoever they are only capable of believing in your dream whether they realize it or not they're only capable of really believing in it usually if like their own lens they're seeing it through of life experience and limitations uh has already proven to them it will be successful, right? Like so many people even experts or visionaries like they would never admit

this but like if you're doing something new or novel or maybe it's been done a million times but you're doing it your own way. It's really hard for anyone else to ever think it's going to be successful because they've never seen it be successful before because it's never been done the way you're going to do it. So, keeping that in mind and um I Jim I would have this uh imaginary volume dial and everyone listening has this. Okay, imagine you have your control over your own volume dial. I think one of the biggest keys to overcoming self-doubt uh on your own journey, whether it's to start painting again or to start writing that book or to just freaking go online and make an online dating profile and put yourself out there, right? I think like one of the biggest keys is learning how to control your own volume dial with who you let speak into your life about what. And what I learned and again I

share a million things I did wrong in this book too, but I go I go deep in this in believe it in in my book about how do you control that volume dial and and literally because here's the thing. We have a a lot of us often have family or friends or a a friend who's been our friend 30 years, whatever it is, and we love them so much, but like when we talk about an ambition with them or a big idea, within like five minutes, our vibration lowers, they start to say things that doubt what we're doing or second guess it or question because they're not able to see it. Right. Right. And so learning how to turn down the volume, meaning sometimes not even have those conversations with people you love and maybe you talk to them about like what's for dinner or how the weather is or whatever else

and figuring out the right people in your circle and maybe you have to bring a few new people in um who are the people you want to turn the volume up on. And that doesn't mean they tell you what you want to hear. It means like you can share your idea. You can share your dream, you can share your secret, whatever it is. And and those are the people that uh are life affirming that you leave the conversation filled up with. Those are you want to curate your volume dial. And that is huge because if you let people and so many of us do this, we love our friends and family, but they don't get us in sense of like maybe they don't share that commonality of feeling like they were they were born made for more, right? And so you want to just curate that volume out. So important. One of the one of the major lessons in in the book that I share because it's just been so powerful for me in in the journey. Yeah,

I love that so much. I I got goosebumps. I I call them truth bumps. It's one of those things where

sometimes they they can impose their limitations on on on you. And so I like where you could control that dial where you could stand guard to the doors of your mind that your family or friends they could be uh sincere. They could not want you to get hurt or get your hopes up or something. But they also could be sincerely they could be sincerely wrong also. And um you know all great progress is based on people that like yourself who take the invisible and and make it visible and and keep that keep that constant. And u so what would your what would your advice who's this book for then? And what would you what would you what would you say to that person right now who's listening because our our our community they love to read. you know, leaders are readers and and I I could attest that there's so many stories in here that, you know, our journey here through life like learning sometimes it's all these

ups and downs, right? You know, but you offer people not only real hope, but you offer them real help.

And so, um, thank you. Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, this book, believe it, I mean, there's so many personal lessons. There's so many leadership lessons in here and business lessons, too. Uh but with that said, really at its heart and soul, like Believe It is a book for anyone who is really in that space where they're trying to break through self-doubt and learn to not listen to it and to and also learning how to go from like not believing yourself to believing in yourself. Um so many of us have a knowing deep down inside, but we haven't yet learned to trust it. So, this book also is all about like how do you go from not trusting yourself to to trusting yourself, from doubting you're enough to knowing you're enough. Um, and it it's really for anyone who struggles with that doubt, right? Um, but most importantly for everyone on on that journey who wants to be on that journey of like stepping into all all of who

they are and all of who they're created to be. Um, and I think the power of story when we share stories and also of course lessons and tips and all the tactical stuff, but like sometimes just the power of story uh, you know, is is such a a a life a giving life force in like our own journeys of of of stepping into all of who we are. So that's who it's for. And um, and I'm just I'm so honored and grateful to share it with you as well. So thank you.

This is astonishing. I mean, going back to how we opened this and you were saying that you would watch Oprah and she would be like your your mentor of your mind. I feel like books could be mentors for people's minds also that when I read your book, I read other individuals books, I feel like I'm on this journey with you and it's wonderful. You know, you you have decades of experience of going taking a step back and taking, you know, make journey into setups and that somebody can really sit down and read this book in a few days. they can download decades of wisdom into just days. And so I would challenge everybody not only to go get this book, but let's give them a challenge right now. Let's let's have them screenshot this episode because I believe when you hear it once, you you learn it once, right? But when you when you share it and you teach it to your friends or your family, your followers,

you get to you get to learn it again. You get to learn it twice. And maybe we could give people um when they screenshot it and post it, they could tag you, Jamie Kern Lima, they could tag myself and uh so we see it um because we want to see that. And then maybe we could um ask them a question or give them a challenge. What's one small simple step or question you have for our community or maybe a challenge that maybe they could say on social media that they're they'll step up?

Yeah, I love that. I would say um even just sharing one thing that you're ready to overcome and break through on. You know what I mean? Just that one thing that you're gonna do because this book is like all about are you ready to believe in you

and and really to step into all that who you are. So like what's that one thing that you're ready to either overcome to break through to stop letting holding you back um on your journey to to becoming all that who you are? I love that you said this. This wasn't planned. I love this and now I can't wait to read every single one of them. Repost them.

Yeah. It's wonderful when people could go and they could and they could be raw and they could be real.

You know that word authentic that you're mentioning. This is a nice one simple step that they could take

because it takes so much energy, right Jamie? That when when you're talking about that representative, it takes so much energy to hold that in front of people, right? has so much energy um for your brain for the rest of your body and um to be able to you know where it's just based on something like image or or or optics and people don't realize the freedom that comes like you know you and I have multiple conversations but you're the same person that you are you know when you and I are just chatting without the cameras on or recordings on you know as as you are here

and you too you too and and it shows because it doesn't use up a lot of energy And I think right now if people doubt use in fear it it burns a lot of energy you know posturing and trying to make things look absolutely perfect when when they're not. It takes a lot of energy and also you when you share your mess you could relate to other people people could relate to you because they're like okay you know they they understand what I'm going through you know like it wasn't it was only just you know recently where I started sharing about my learning challenges and my brain injuries and those kind of things. Otherwise, people think, "Oh, that person just rolled out of bed that way."

I I truly believe that the most important words in the world are the ones that we say to ourselves. And it this, you know, your ability to navigate rejection, your ability to um as you say, get quiet and still seems to be, you know, both here in the show and and in the book, like absolutely foundational. give us a little bit of like how long did you work out that muscle? Was it three years? Was it a lifetime? Was it just in a professional capacity? Or do you make use of this in in your personal life? Because as you said, not only is this story bigger than you, but it's bigger than business. It's about humanity. And uh you know whether you're successful in business or you feel fulfilled in life there's not that much gap between those you know those those two things you can if you have this skill set I believe you can you can create or cultivate fulfillment in all these areas of your life. So, was it

professional, personal, and how long did you feel like it took before you had the resilience or did it just happen at the right time and you just continue to hone the muscle? Give me a little bit more color there.

Yeah, I feel like it is a work in progress still. I feel like it's a lifelong journey. Um, you know, there are so many areas in my life where I went from just completely being overrun by self-doubt and learning how to um turn down the volume on my own self-doubt and and and I literally Chase would imagine, you know, I talk about in the book a lot um this idea of like this imaginary microphone or this imaginary volume dial, right? And you know there were times where you know I had I got a strong rejection that hurt so bad from someone and it's hard when somebody rejects us or says something about us or we keep telling ourselves um you know things that are maybe reflections of past mistakes or past miscalculations and we start to label oursel as things um and repeat them over and over and you know I'm I'm still a work in progress at this but but I think you know one of The tools I talk about in this book is how

do you learn to really just turn down the volume on those things and and interrupt them when when you start to tell yourself those things, right? Or repeat words that someone else said to you or a label someone else put on you or a past mistake you've made. It's like, how do you turn down the volume on those things and turn up the volume on things that serve you and that remind you of um of who you are and your strengths and your capabilities and your um you know, all those things. It's a work in progress for me. So, I still deal with it every single day. And you know, there's a lot of areas professionally and personally that I've you know, learned to believe in myself and trust myself and and know I'm enough in. And then there's other things um related to body image that are still challenges for me to this day um you know as I've been so blessed to meet amazing people like you um like Oprah

Winfrey like there's so many people right and I I I share this you know Oprah read the book cover to cover and she was the first person that read my manuscript and because I wanted her blessing to share a few things in the book not about oh how cool is it that I you know Oprah is my mentor, but oh, I'm still scared to call her. I share some real stuff in this book about some real work I'm still doing in real time because I think that we're all works in progress on this lifelong journey. And, you know, I won't go into like all all of the stuff, but you know, I share in the book for the first time ever about how how I knew my whole life I I just had a feeling I was going to meet Oprah.

And when I finally did, and she invited me to her house for lunch, and we had this three-hour lunch, just the two of us. And when when I left the lunch that day, and this was three years ago, she says, she gave me her cell phone number, and she said, "You can call me anytime." Like, "Call me anytime." And I uh freaked out internally and I was like, "Absolutely. Thank you so much. Here's my cell phone number." And uh and uh to this day, Chase, when I have something I want to share with her, I want to, you know, say a prayer for her, I want to inspire her or I want to ask her advice on something or whatever it is, I will text her or email. Uh and by the way, when she writes back over text and I see the three dots, like I still freak out.

I screenshot it sometimes. Um I will I will text her and I will I will will email. I have not called. I've not called her. And I had this big realization um fairly recently and I wasn't proud of it. And I realized, oh wow, I still don't believe deep down inside that I'm at the same like vibration level as Oprah to just call her up. And that's something I'm working on real time because I know that's a lie. I know every one of us, every human being is worthy of calling each other up. You know what I mean? like we're all the same. We're all connected. We're all in this life together. Like we all have the same hopes and doubts and fears and and so, you know, for me, it's really it's really a work in progress. There's a lot of areas in my life I've figured it out and and so I'm now working on applying some of those same um those same principles and lessons to to different areas of my life and and to making

better decisions. And and I think too, you know, the better we get at it, we also learn to to trust ourselves, when not to trust ourselves, right? For, you know, starting a company with my my partner. Um, and then we both ended up working 100hour weeks for 10 years. And it was I share all about that too because a lot of people either are or are thinking about starting a dream with a friend or a family member or or a partner. And you know that comes with so much, right? And and to this day part of why I decided to sell the company was because I learned to trust myself to not trust myself. that if I stayed running it and owning it all, I would still probably be addicted to work and still probably be working 100 hour weeks and still probably um not have uh uh had a baby. All the things um because we tried for 10 years while working 100 hour weeks to to to have a baby and it was just a crazy journey. And so anyways um

you know I made the decision in big part to sell the company because I didn't trust myself. I trusted myself enough to not trust myself that I wouldn't miss out on life. And so it's all a big journey and that it's all a work in progress and and and to this day I think and I think it will be the rest of our lives for all of us. You know, that's that's one of the things, too, is like I feel so grateful to be able to share all of the things I learned, all the lessons I've learned so far, um, in life and in business. Um, that I hope and prayer of service to other people and save them, you know, nights crying themselves asleep and self-doubt and hopefully time and money and all those things. But I think that for the rest of my life, I'll be a a work in progress, too. still really trying to figure it figure it all out as I go and overcome all that not enoughness that all of us have at deep levels.

It's so true that this story is is so much bigger than a billion dollar brand or you know overcoming obstacles as you say we're all in this together but there is this it's hard to overstate the feeling that I have about the that this is you know in the particular I think it's James Joyce in the particular lies the universal and your story is the story of so many of us

Jamie you got a a magazine shoot today you were saying tell us about what's going on over there.

Yeah, you know, it's uh the book's come the book, my first ever book, Believe It, is launching in just under five weeks. We're under five weeks away. So, I feel like I'm going to blink and it's going to be here. And uh so, it's probably the most vulnerable thing I've ever done where I just literally pour everything I have and all the things I wish I knew. It would have saved me a million nights crying myself to sleep and the whole journey of starting in in my living room and facing rejection for three years straight solid and building a cosmetics. So now the fiveweek mark uh all the press starts that that it comes out when the book launches. So today is a magazine shoot all day long and uh I'll share more soon. I'll share more soon. But you know I was thinking about this and actually you know being MLK day today uh you know this morning I was uh in hair getting ready. I haven't done makeup yet in hair and I was watching uh

Dr. Martin Luther King speeches some of them right which I've done my whole life. And I watched him this morning that's all about growing actually. It's all about like keeping it moving. And he talked a lot about your life's blueprint. And he was using these words long before so many other people were using them, right? And he talked about your life's blueprint about how no one else can tell you you're not worthy. And when I was thinking about this his his um his words, I was kind of having this big aha moment just to share with every everyone in the growth day community this morning in case you go through this too. But like sometimes it's oursel that's the one telling ourselves we're not worthy and

most of the time probably most of the time. Yeah. Most of the time and you're making up stories about other people thinking you're not worthy. Yeah. So, you're telling yourself, "Oh, I'm not worthy." Or you're thinking, "They don't think I'm worthy." And either way, it's it's a story that's probably, you know, making you feel worse than you really need to.

Exactly. And, you know, on this uh on this day, right, I have this big magazine shoot all day. They want six different looks, all these things. First of all, I have to fight in my own head the whole imposttor syndrome which is like how is a girl like me who is a waitress at Denny's all these things doing six looks how do I even figure out what looks are that's the first thing like fashion looks right you see me I love some sweats I love some comfy sweats right so I'm like okay six looks today

does six looks mean six outfits or does that okay gota Yeah, because when I do magazine shoots are they usually like they show up with stuff and they put it on, I wander around and that's about it. I I'm really

And that's about it. I'm really I'm the worst. I I don't you know I don't do press, you know, I just I decided very early on I I didn't want to be in the PR land. So very rarely rarely rarely do I do press. And every time I do, I realize why I don't. It's so exhausting. I really admire people who can do days of press and they do it consistently. we take for granted. It's really exhausting. People are bossing you around all day. You're just kind of wondering when you get to sit down or get to eat

and it's it's a full it's a full schedule. Everyone wants to be famous or they want days of magazine shoots and all that. And then they do their first like PR junket in in New York and you do like 16 shows in a day and at the end you're so it's a privilege and a joy and it's fun and at the same time it's work. like you you had to get up you got up what five o'clock today just to prepare and get hair and makeup and everything else getting ready.

Yeah, we had hair at five. Had to get up at four to shower. All that stuff got to you. And you know, here's the thing is like what a blessing, what a gift that I get to spread the word about the book. Like that's what really drives me, right? But what I'm realizing and Brendan listening to MLK's speech this morning, uh Dr. Martin Luther King's speech talking about telling ourselves we're not worthy or or having other people tell you you're not worthy. Exactly what you said. I this is a day that the old me, the me that for decades has done lots of different things. And I'm working still, as you know, I'm a lifetime student, still working to grow out of this. Uh the old me for sure would have let my inner credit take over all day and just powered through hoping like, does this outfit fit? is am I are they thinking I really should be in this shoot. Are they regretting doing a story on all those things we tell ourselves,

right? It doesn't have to be a magazine shoot. It could just be hopping on Zoom for something at work or you know how many times you know that we get an invite to a high school reunion. Brendan, I don't know if you'll relate to this, but you coach so many people that I think you'll understand this at such a deep level. we get an invite to a high school reunion or something like that. So many of us the first thing we think of is oh when I show up how much weight have I gained how much all these things right to the point where we don't even enjoy it and

I remember a quote will you will you remind us all just if you remember it there's a quote you said and I saved it because I look at it often and it said something about um I'll paraphrase and then maybe you'll you'll remember it exactly but you can accomplish all these things and the worst thing that could possibly happen is you get to the end of your life and you look back and you're like, hm, I forgot to enjoy it.

I forgot to enjoy it. Enjoy it. Worse, imagine looking in the mirror. You're, you know, you're 80, 90, 100 years old and you had longevity, but you look in the mirror and you and you just go, you never felt it. You never enjoyed it, you never took the time to be there. Um, and I also think, you know, coming back to your high school reunion idea or the magazine shoot or all of you who are walking in to do, you know, networking in a Zoom room or when we come back to regular life and we're hanging out with people here again. I love this thing. I I it's not from me. I I can't remember who said it, but I love it. Love it.

Love it. It's there's two kinds of people in the world. One walks into the room and goes, "Here I am." And the other person walks in the room and goes, "Oh, there you are. M

and they're they're excited to see you. They're excited to acknowledge you, to validate you, to welcome you, to make sure that you feel at home.

Yeah. Yeah. And those are the people that we want to be in our lives. Those are the that's being the role model, but it's also being, you know, less ego driven instead of being so concerned what do I look like, who am I like, what's going on here? I just I I've always the way I got over myself because everyone still knows and grow. I'm a dork. I love geeking out on personal development. I love books. I love to write. I'm more of a like even though I teach and I'm, you know, millions and millions of hours of video by now, I generally mostly enjoy being alone dorking out about my ideas, drawing up, creating ideas and charts and everything everywhere. And so when I go to talk with people, often I want to share that with them. And I have to I have all these ideas and I know there's lots of people ideas. I just want to talk ideas.

But the best thing I ever did to get over myself and be comfortable with other people is instead ask them about their ideas.

Ask about if if you walk into your high school networking, you know, gym and you walk instead be like, hey, ask people, hey, how you doing? Hey, what do you think of all this?

One of my favorite questions. What do you think of all this? Oh, you know, I love the punch bowl. Or look at this. Or hey, this is happening. I love that we're together. Hey, how you been? Just acknowledging and appreciating other people is such a lost art

because we tend to have agendas because we tend to want to project something. And here's the number one thing. Most people really believe the idea they only have 10 seconds to make a first impression or they only have 30 seconds to say it, right? And I'm like, nothing in life that matters, nothing in life that matters is judged in 30 seconds. In other words, give yourself time to build a relationship. Give yourself time to enjoy that moment. She's like, "Well, you have seven minutes on that major show." I'm like, "There's going to be a hundred other shows in your future. Some shows you're going to do are an hourong podcast. Some shows you're going to do are in person." And so, I'm just here to say enjoy it, but also make it about other people. Ask them, validate them, and you'll feel better. You know, of course, when we talked about the other day about reading customer letters on QVC, right? It was a whole thing in the

green room of of of putting into practice the idea. Uh that I think exactly to your point, it's like, oh, this isn't about me. It's about something so much bigger, right? And I think that's huge. And I was going to ask you actually because I think this lifelong journey for so many people of of overcoming our inner critic, right? And even even going to a whole new transcending the whole new thing and going, "Oh, who's my inner champion? Can I wake that person up?" Right? Can I wake up my inner champion? And so many of us are like, "Oh, you know, inner champion, maybe you haven't heard your inner champion ever um or in a long time." And so, you know, Brendan, coaching millions of people like you have, I'm so fascinated to hear for you like if you also or or I should say because I think this is universal. I think this happens to everyone, but when you're in a moment where you're doing something and all of

a sudden that inner crit, you hear that inner critic, right? How do you turn down the volume on that? do you do to go to silence your inner critic or handle your inner critic or overcome your inner critic and and then swap it to your inner champion or what are your tools because I I feel like no matter what we're doing in life where we're at in life what our situation is inside our own family inside our our jobs inside our hopes and dreams it's just this it's the biggest obstacle I think for so many of us.

Yeah. I think one you have to realize that replacing the inner critic in the moment is super hard and so you have to think of everything you're doing is like there's the pre-work there's the actual in the- moment flow work and then there's the postwork the pre-work is okay before the inner cricket has to start you start your morning by tapping into your authentic self meditating feeling thinking about who you are what's important to you your morning routine of intention setting, your morning routine of purpose statements, your morning routine of filling your head with good thoughts, your morning routine of of acknowledging your strength to show up another day.

Your day of gratitude for appreciating that you have these opportunities. Meaning you got to start the day, the growth day starts with selft talk. And the selft talk you have to condition the positive voice inside your inner champion. You have to amplify that, turn it up and talk to it every morning. And every day if you ever want that to be louder than the critic. What most people do is they bumble through the day, a doubt comes up, they hear it, they go, "Is that true?" They start amplifying that thing because there's no other voices. Your job is to find your authentic voice. You're acknowledging aware, compassionate, loving self voice.

Give that so much volume so many times that that's just a that station's louder.

That station is louder because you're on that station more. So now when the other one starts interfering and coming in, you can go, "Oh, what is it saying here?" And it's almost always the inner critic is really a doubtful voice.

It's almost always a doubtful voice. It I doubt my capability. I doubt who I am. I doubt I'm capable. I'm worthy. I doubt myself. And doubt doesn't mean stop or shut down. Doubt means oh, this is a signal to be more present and intentional. Oh, I'm not this isn't to question myself and my capabilities. is going, "Oh, hey, I don't know if I can do this. Let me pay attention." That's a great signal to pay attention and to engage the best of who we are. It's like, "Oh, those butterflies, that's saying, "Oh, let's let's align here. Let's get focus here. Let's bring some attention to this." So, first, don't think that that voice will ever go away. It's going to be there. It's always going to pop up.

But don't think it's a negative thing telling you you're terrible. It's saying pay attention. And then also up the station on that authentic acknowledging loving self-t talk each day, the affirmative side of who you are. Listen to that so often and give yourself that blessing so often because some of you it's not going to be your spouse who's going to acknowledge you or validate you.

Some of you, it's not going to be your parents or your sisters or your brothers or the people in your industry. They're all going to doubt you or judge you or push you. So you've got to affirm yourself. You you've got to tap into that truth, that knowing, that beauty, that soul, that spirit, that authenticity that says, "Ah, I do deserve to have a good day today. I do have good intentions for today. Let me let me listen to that part of me more often." And that conditioning of positive affirming self-t talk starts becoming a part of real confidence, right? Conditioned selft talk becomes confident capability.

So good. You know, I'm looking at so many of your comments right now and so many people are saying, "This is so timely. I needed to hear this right now because, you know, I uh one of the things I love about this is when we talk about even conditioning and starting our day that way, positive selft talk. A I hope the growth day morning show is a big part of that of just hearing that, you know, inspiration like all of us coming together and growing. Um uh but you know one one person also Sarah just commented that uh that you know the inner critic always comes back right and you're saying yeah it always comes back uh and and here's the thing is

I feel like our inner critic uh can get so loud and I feel like so many of us know when we're hearing it when we're hearing that inner critic a we would never say those things to another human being and b when we're saying them about ourselves we kind of still know in big part We know they're not true, but it but somehow we still we still it's so easy to believe it. It's easy to know we're made for more. We're created for more. We have more to give, more to offer, more to serve, more inside of us than we're expressing or giving or living right now. And yet, it's so easy to still doubt it anyways, right? What if the inner critic was an inner guide?

And the inner critic was just saying to you, "Hey, right now you've got your station turned on to me." The inner critic, the you know, the low station, the the self-doubt station.

Yeah. And you instead of going, "Oh, that critic's so scary." And let me find all the reason to criticize me. It's like, "Oh, the inner critic is actually calling you to summon the better part of you. It's saying, hey, you're listening to the lowly insecurities right now. Let me amplify those insecurities." So you're aware that you're listening to them, dummy. What you need to do right now is searchation. I am guiding you with all this blaring noise to summon a higher part of you.

The inner critic is summoning the higher part of you. Not shutting you down. It's summoning you. It's not going to go away. There's always going to be that part of you going, "Hey,

dummy, you're smarter. You're better. You're a let me let me let me judge you just enough that you get edgy and you go no I'm better than this and you show up it's egging you on to show up better not shut down soon as you get that oh I'm being egged on like a good friend because listen the inner critic is you. Yeah.

And that's a good friend to you saying, "Hey, I'm going to bug you just enough. I'm going to shame you just enough. I'm going to doubt you just enough until you finally go," F no. Let's go. I'm going to try to piss you off. That's what the inner critic is going to do. They're going to They're They're there to amplify you to go, "No, no, I am better than this." It is actually summoning strength. And if you can hear that, instead of being diminished, be called. When crisis doesn't diminish you, when conflict doesn't diminish you, when fear doesn't diminish you, but rather you sense it as a calling to rise to something to a higher standard to serve.

This is why today we celebrate Martin Luther King. Dr. Martin Luther King had the same challenges. So many people did. What he did was he said, "I have a dream. I I'm going to rise up. I'm gonna learn to do all of these things that he didn't know how to do to lead an incredible movement that we still celebrate today. You have to think about like, whoa, that's 60 years later. We're still celebrating this person. Why? Because all those calls, all those judgments, all that hate. He said, "I'm not going to let the darkness shut me down because it is only light and love that will lift us up. So, I'm going to I'm going to amplify those. You can hit me with all the hate you want, but I'm going to activate love.

That's the change. It's not an adishment, but a calling to rise above it. That's that's a mindset shift that now helps us activate. I hope that helps everybody.

So good, you guys. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Uh, so many comments. So many comments. I appreciate each of you. And, uh, thank you for cheering me and Jamie on in this growth day morning show. This is new for us, too. We've both had doubts. We had our first couple days were technologically challenged on both sides. You know, I still think I look so goofy with these white things hanging my ear. I still got this camera taped up with this blue tape over here. Jamie's got hers. So, we're still figuring it out, but we feel like, okay, so what?

We're not doing it perfectly. We are called to serve. Stop worrying if you show up perfectly or you look perfect. Show up to serve. and enough times doing that you're recognized.

So good what you said and and I always you know one of the things I think about a lot is we all face opposition right sometimes it is our inner critic but we also all have a calling and I think that so many times I I believe always your calling is stronger than your opposition but so much of life comes down to which one we listen to and you talk about you know Dr. for Martin Luther King and and I think obviously so much opposition you know during his time and obviously his calling was so much bigger right and and that's what he listened to and I think that I don't know I just keep going back to those words you shared earlier too about walking into a room and instead of saying here I am saying here you are right I think that's when we make it not about us and it's something so much bigger than us for me I think that's I mean in my journey that's you know how I've one of my one of my best strategies for overcoming

that inner critic because for me that inner critic is there every single day. Every single day. I even doubted even though I've gone on national television thousands of times and no makeup. This is my first first Growth Day morning show and no makeup. And I had a moment where I'm like but it's like oh no no no. The only way to have authentic human connection is to fully show up as ourselves. the only way to serve is to not worry about stuff like that that literally doesn't matter, right? And so it's kind of growth in progress, growth in process, I think, for so many of us.

And some of the tips you shared on how how you frame in your own mind that inner critic. I've never heard that before. That's so powerful. That's so powerful as if it's the station summoning you to get so angry that you're like, "F that." And you transcend it. Huge. Yeah, it's your best friend egging you on saying, "Oh, it's it's like if your best friend was like, "Oh, yeah, you suck." And you're like, you know, it's it's just like if you ever saw people playing sports and you're playing basketball with someone, the crap talking is done to summon a higher level of game.

They've actually measured this in communication studies, in sports. Less crap talk tends to lead to less incredible performance. And it's not because we're being we're not diminishing each other. we're egging each other on to play at a higher level. Now, I know there's lots of judgment about even that in sports, but I think my point is recognizing that all your inner fears aren't meant to shut you down. They're meant to help you pay attention. You know, you were talking about resistance and all the resistance. And I hope everybody, by the way, uh spend some time today watching some, you know, speeches from Dr. Martin Luther King. Um, if you haven't read the autobiography, the official biographies or any of his collected works of speeches, I I can't even imagine this day, you know, for the last 23 years this year now, I read his speeches. I have a big uh book that my dad gave me that I just read his speeches and it's

so so powerful to see what he was willing and not just him the entire Southern Christian Leadership Conference and so many other great leaders of that time trying to really speak up for something and he said you know if I if if our main question is who are you serving and he said that if we aren't if if we aren't willing to speak up for what is right, then we're we're not living life. And and so many of his great quotes that everyone will share on the internet today, I'm sure, just remind us, stand for something. Even if you are scared, stand for something.

You're not doing a magazine shoot today. You're standing for something today. You're standing for a message.

Yeah. We aren't worried about our insecurities of, you know, I'm like, is my kettle bell in the shot today? I hope not. You know, I don't even care. It's like we stand for something at growth day. We stand for the belief, that you can grow, that you can change, that you can have better days, that you can shift your attitude. We we stand for something. So, we're not trying to make everything pretty. You're going to stand for something today. And everyone needs to realize what do you stand for today? What is it that you stand for? And the less you ask yourself that, the more the insecurity voice just fills it in. Oh, you aren't intentional enough to stand for something. Let me just fill it in with some noise here.

Yeah, that's what happens. I would say your negative selft talk is because you haven't filled in the void.

Yeah. So good. You got to I'd work on this. Look at this. I got this. I pulled this off the desk. This is a a a calendar of affirmations from Hay House. Uh this is Louise Haye. I hope you all read You Can Heal Your Life from Louise Haye. Louise Haye and Wayne Dyer. uh who were like some who really made and rounded out Hay House with Reed Tracy as CEO um that a whole book of affirmations. I I've been doing personal development for 20 years professionally. I still read my affirmations

and I read them out loud because I want that voice to be activated. I would love for you all in your morning routine to read out your Bible verses or read out your favorite motivational quotes or read out that part of that spiritual text that you love. Read something out like activate the voice. You've been given voice. If you have the blessing of speaking, you've been given voice. Activate that in a positive affirming way and it becomes a language pattern in your head

that's louder than the insecure quiet things. You know what I mean? you've done such amazing things with IT Cosmetics and I know you know we've talked a little bit about it this year we're working on you know inspiring people to go after a million dreams together to help each other all of that and I think it's so easy to look at somebody like yourself and say okay you took you took something from scratch literally you and your husband Paulo started in your living room and you eventually sold it for over a billion dollars it would be easy for people to say oh my gosh she probably wanted a cosmetics company when she was two maybe she started when she was five, right?

But that was not necessarily the dream to start to start with. Tell us a little bit of how this blossomed.

Yeah, it wasn't ne it wasn't the dream at all. And uh and I get messages every single day, usually on Instagram, saying, "Did you get lucky? Did you have connections? Did you have It's like no, none of that." And I I realize so often we just see the outcomes of things when they're, you know, when or the highlight reel. And that's why I'm excited to do your show and also just to write this book because I think like sharing the real journey helps everyone else when they're launching their own dream or maybe they're scared to go after their own dream um helps them feel less alone.

So yeah, you know, one thing you've talked about in one of your shows about this idea of sometimes our setbacks become our setups. Yes.

Um that's really what happened to me uh when I launched this dream in my living room. And just to share a little bit about that um just for you know anyone in your community listening right now especially if like they're feeling in their they're in the season of setback or in the midst of a setback right

um that's really how this whole thing started. So, I I thought I was working in in my dream job. And, you know, since I was a little girl, I I always would, you know, sit in my living room and watch Oprah and I always thought like, oh, one day I'm going to share other people's stories with the world. Like, I always want to do that. And I was working in television news as a as a news anchor. And uh thought I was in my dream job. And I started getting um going through a season of setback. Uh what I thought was a big setback. I got a skin condition called rosacea, which uh my skin is bright, you know, it gets bright red with bumps everywhere.

Sometimes it feels like sandpaper. And so I went to the dermatologist and I learned there's no cure for it. And I'd be anchoring the news. I I tried all this stuff to to try and and calm it down. Uh but I'd be anchoring the news and and often live while I'd be on the air in my earpiece. I would hear from my producer, "There's something on your face. There's something on your face. You need to wipe it off. You need to wipe it." And I knew I'm sure it totally helped you to focus and and calm down, right? Yeah, absolutely.

Well, and then it's like when we go through these times that I I started this kind of season of self-doubt where I would like my inner critic got so loud and I would be live anchoring the news thinking things like, am I going to get fired? Am I losing are viewers changing the channel? I went through this whole season uh started trying to find any makeup product out there. I never had even an interest in going in creating a beauty company. Uh but I started, you know, trying every product out there and none of them would work. And uh and I had this kind of moment where um I had this kind of this this gut feeling like I think I think when dreams start to brew in us or when there's like a seed planted in us where we have this dream it kind of started that way where I was like like it was like a little inkling like wait a minute if I if I could figure out how to launch how to create a product that works for me I bet it'd

help a lot of other people. Yeah. And then I would kind of like silence that dream and I would my head would take over. Oh, Jamie, you have no connections. You have barely any money. You don't know anything about the beauty industry and you're you're in your dream job right now, right? And so it was I went through that battle. And I think everyone listening to us right now probably like really if they get still, they probably know right now if there's a dream on their heart or or or something they know or they're supposed to create or go after or offer the world or start painting again or start dancing, right? They kind of know. Um but sometimes our head talks ourselves out of our own dreams.

Yeah. We call that that essence of a dream, right? like that because I think sometimes even the word dream it feels too heavy too big like people are like oh I can't go after that dream or I don't know all that that's there or all that it will take and it's like all right well we'll just lean into that essence of the dream and I love how you gave yourself that permission to first kind of look solutions for yourself but then to be able to say what if what if and I love too how it seems like very quickly after that you also started to say what if we did it differently because that was really something you started to do very early on to be able to say, "Hey, a lot of the marketing, a lot of the ads around cosmetics don't seem to be all that real or for real women." And I love how that really started to become a mission for you as well. How quickly after getting the essence of the dream and starting to

walk it out, was that that why uh of of being able to say, "All right, this this is I'm doing this for someone else, too." How how soon did that happen for you?

Yeah. I I realized in the midst of like, "Why can't I find anything that works for me?" When I started trying to, you know, try all these products, I realized, oh wow, my whole life I've never seen anyone in the ads that looks like me that has skin problems, right? you you just see photoshopped ads and I kind of realized that there was never a product that works for me, but also never a product that even showed people with skin like me. And and it it um I want to say something that you said in in the very open of our conversation that I think is really powerful, especially for anyone listening. You said, you know, maybe you've never sat at the cool kids club or the cool kids table at school. And I just want to say for anyone who feels like they don't fit in or they maybe don't belong or they're not like everyone else. I really believe, Mitch, that that can be your superpower because I think like I came

into this beauty industry and I didn't fit in and I was not I mean I didn't realize launching this company how it would be three years of being told no from all the retailers and that the because everyone sees oh wow because you know today at this moment that you and I are talking right now It Cosmetics is the largest luxury makeup company in the country which is insane because for three years. Every beauty retailer said, "No, you're not the right fit. Women won't buy makeup from models that look like that." Uh uh on and on and on.

Change your packaging. Change. Right. They And and I think that why we eventually were acquired by L'Oreal for so much money is because we ended up doing something so different. Yeah. that like and unique and odd that didn't fit in but that people connected with that it ended up being valuable to them. And I just think so many people listening right now,

we're always told often in our lives to to fit in and to conform and and sometimes when we fit in, it can actually be a disadvantage in a way because we start thinking the same.

Do you know what I mean? Absolutely. And I just I don't know. I just sorry that just like came out because I just think anyone feeling like they don't fit in I think I think if you stick to who you are authentically um I really feel like that is when you step in the the calling on your life like right and I think like it's so tempting for us to

to because we all want love we all want connection we all want those things and it's tempting to do it at the price of who we are.

Yeah. And when I look back at this journey um about turning a dream into, you know, into something that impacted now millions of of lives. I think that there were moments when people told me to change what we were doing, change that was never going to work, that if I wanted to get in their stores, I had to do it the way they wanted me to do it. And those are the moments that I think um could have stopped this whole thing from happening had I had I had I listened. You know what I mean? And I don't know. Just want to share that.

Well, I love that. I love that one you would hone in on that because I I so agree with that, but also I think that you you you make that point so well in the book of being able to take those things that maybe you've seen as your limitations or your doubts or the things that have caused you fear that if we just look at those a little bit differently, they literally can be our superpower. And and I agree with you. I think I mean especially with the story and I confessed to you before we hit record that I've not worn your makeup.

Um, you know, I I'm not an expert on the cosmetic industry, all of those things. But what I love about your story and the more that I've dug into it, it it truly is obviously you've put together an incredible product, but but the way that you've gone about it and doing it differently, which I think in some ways you had to like bolster yourself. You had to push through those nos. those nos made you even more like I don't know if it's the right word to say solid but to be able to say hey we are choosing this we are not doing this by accident we are not doing this because it's easy um we're doing it because we feel like that's the right way to do it and that's bolstered you to help you then navigate the storm and I do want to say that you know uh you know some people might hear this and go oh my gosh they went from their living room to selling it the company to L'Oreal for a billion dollars

it's like oh that's an overnight story. It's, you know, all those things. You guys, we're talking about hundreds of hours a week, you know, working hard, paying yourself very little to nothing. Um, and really fighting for this dream, which I think is also beautiful. And you've also surrounded yourself with incredible people. Now, I've gotten some questions from listeners. We're going to go after those in just a second. But one of the things is I think what I loved about your story is that you know so many things about your story but you got the essence of the dream. You started to experiment. You saw the need. You saw the need to offer a product but also promote that product, present that product in a different way. Um but I was curious because so many people get the essence of the dream and immediately see the list of things they don't know or don't have. Right. What's one of the ways do

you think like what was key for you to give yourself that permission to say I don't have all the answers. I don't have all the connections. I certainly don't have the big bank account. What gave you or how did you find that within yourself to be able to say but I'm going to take that next step?

Yeah. Well, I think sometimes and I talk about this and believe it a lot that I think sometimes knowing when to let go of a dream is as important as knowing when to go after one. And while I was in that spot of going, okay,

um my my gut, my my essence, so to speak, is telling me to launch this company, but my head is saying you're not qualified, right?

Uh you don't have the right connections, all that. When I look back, um I and by the way, when you talk about, you know, the early years, it was three years of hundreds of nos and we got, you know, we couldn't afford our to pay ourselves the first three years of our com company. Um, if we ever had a date night, which was a miracle, we would go literally to the Costco, you know, the outdoor Costco concession stand.

Absolutely. Yeah. You can get a lot for a couple of bucks at the Costco. That's exactly right.

At least And it tastes good, which is the good part. But that would be a date night. I mean, it was

it was really tough. And there were so many nights I cried myself to sleep because it was another big no from a retailer or I didn't know how we were going to keep the lights on. I didn't It was a lot of years. And in the book and believe it, I go into details about like some of the scrappy things we did like how, you know, we figured out how to do things when we couldn't afford to hire people and and I go into that because I think it's so important because you don't see that stuff on social media. You just see everyone's highlight reel.

And I just think like it's important for people that might, you know, feel like it's just them struggling or not getting traction or hearing rejection after rejection. And when I look back at all of this and I I talk about so many things I did wrong in the book, but one of the things that I did do right, um

it wasn't that I somehow had was smarter than someone else or anything like that. It was really that I I when I when I would get still and I would hear my own gut feeling, which for me is how I hear God talk to me is in my intuition, right? Um, some people may call it the universe. Some people might call it just their own internal knowing, right? When I would hear that internal knowing, I would make the decision to trust it. And for me, that was one of the biggest things because there were nights I literally literally would just cry myself to sleep. And I'd wake up in the morning thinking like, "Oh, was that huge rejection from QVC really real or was that a dream?" And then I'd realize it was real. very real. Very, very real.

And um I mean there were some really tough rejections. About two years into the business, we got a call from a potential investor that was a big private equity company. And I was so excited because they had a huge track record of making all of these uh products and grocery stores, big household names, and they loved our product and and they wanted a meeting and we did a meeting and then we showed them our product pipeline. And you know, we were several meetings in and I thought, "Wow, if they invest in us, A, I'm not going to go bankrupt and b um you know, maybe they can use their connections to get us in these big beauty retailers that keep telling me no." And

we got down to the final meeting. And I'll never forget this moment because my husband and I flew up for this meeting and we were standing about three feet from the head investor and he says to me, you know, congratulations. We really, really think your product is fantastic. Um, but it's a no. we're going to pass on investing in IT Cosmetics. Uh, and we want to wish you all the best. And when I said, "Okay, um, can you tell me why?" Because I, you know, feedback is usually a gift. And, um, he was literally about 3 feet from me in person. And he says, "Do you want me to be really, really honest with you?" And I said, "Yes, please." And he said um

I just don't think women will buy makeup from someone who looks like you with your body and your weight.

And I remember, Mitch, in that moment, here's the thing. So, two things. one, I c like I went out in the car and cried later, but I I I instantly felt, you know, like a lifetime of self-doubt and body doubt. All those things kind of fled my body.

But I'll never forget this moment when he was saying that to me, of course, it hurt.

Yeah. But when he said, "I just don't think women will buy makeup from someone who looks like you with your body and your weight." I got this feeling, this feeling inside and I can remember it like it was yesterday that just said, "He's wrong."

Yeah. And I I actually never got mad or or it it was weird. I um when you talked about the why earlier because we all identify, you know, it's so important to attach a why to any dream.

Um and uh but I did the work early on of identifying like really why am I doing this company? And it wasn't just to create a great product or to solve my own problems or to help other women, which it was certainly all those things, but I wanted to shift culture in the beauty industry. I wanted to create a business where if I ever were going to make it, I wanted to use models that were all different ages and skin tones and skin and sizes and and skin challenges. Um, and I wanted to shift that definition of beauty for every little girl out there who was about to see these ads and start doubting herself the way I did growing up and and every grown uh woman who still does and person who still does. So, I knew how important my why was to me. Yeah.

So when this guy says to me that I real instead of getting mad and I think this is really important when we're going after our dreams to not take rejection personally

because I realized him saying that to me, him passing on investing in in my business was really he was just as much impacted by a life of the beauty industry as I was. He was making an investment decision based on what he thinks you need to look like to sell product. And so um so you know I uh And one more thing about

I love it. No. Well, six years I didn't hear from him for about six years. And six years later when L'Oreal acquired our company, uh, because it was such a big deal in L'Oreal's public, they disclosed the purchase price. So all of a sudden in this one day, it's all over the Wall Street Journal homepage, everywhere, like it cosmetics, you know, L'Oreal buys it cosmetics for$1.2 billion cash, this whole big thing. And I heard from him that day for the first time in six years, and he said, "Congratulations. I'm so happy for you. I was wrong. This whole thing and I I learned it would have been the most successful investment in this firm's history. Um,

but the other thing, and this is this is just I want to share this in case anyone listening to you and me right now like is in this season of rejection, right? Is there's that there's these famous words, and I don't even know who said them, but they're famous words that say rejection is God's protection.

Yeah. And like when we're going through rejection, we don't like it doesn't feel very good. Doesn't feel at the time like how is this protecting me? Especially when it's unfair, it's hurtful. It sucks.

But like just and I have so many examples of this in Believe It but the book. But just this one story is like had he believed in me, Mitch, I was so desperate, I probably would have given him most the company for almost no money.

Yep. But because he didn't believe in me, six years later, my husband and I were still the largest shareholders when we sold to L'Oreal. And it just I don't know. I just think that there's so many stories like that where I just think it's important that we have our perspective of faith also

um when we're going through those tough seasons. Well, and I I so agree because it is that whole thing of uh and I think you and I share a very similar faith, which is awesome, and we've got people from all different faith backgrounds, but it is it is so powerful when we start to realize that those setbacks sometimes that adversity, although it is brutal when you're in it. Like I can only imagine that felt like a real punch to the gut, but think about like like you said, that adversity in some ways is something you needed to dig even deeper.

in some ways it it like proved your thesis even more of saying this absolutely needs to be fixed and if somebody's going to do it differently we got to do it right and and I also it it did also protect you from then giving up a majority stake and all of those things it's just incredible but it's not easy but it's amazing and I agree with you you have so many different examples and that's I think I loved it in the book so many different examples where that adversity that setback back time and time again really was a setup.

I I would love to hear your thoughts about about faith and selfworth, but one thing I did hear you say um is, you know, and I totally agree. There's so many of us that say that we believe in God, but we doubt ourselves. And how can those those that's like how can those two things be true in our lives? Like who are we actually doubting? I love that. Can you explain more on this? Because there's a lot of people listening um that would say that they believe in something bigger than themselves but can also relate to where I'm coming from too of but I still don't love myself the way that really matches up to what I say I believe.

Yes. Yes. I love that you have done your homework and that you like know all these key takeaways from worthy from the book because uh you're able to ask these questions that go really deep and this was a huge realization in my life. So, two things I'll share. when I, you know, I launched IT Cosmetics in my living room and Hannah the first three years I got hundreds and hundreds of nos and I was trying to, you know, do things different in the beauty industry and I had, you know, I have hereditary rosacea which is like bright red and bumpy and there's no cure and I tried everything and I uh, you know, was close to getting fired as a news anchor because of my skin issues and whole thing and I just had this vision like at the time. Uh, all the models for a beauty company were all very similar, flawless skin. They all look like they were 12, like all, you know, it was very, and I was like, what if we put, you know, real people

like every age and shape and size and skin tone and skin challenge and all the things. And everyone was just telling me no, it would never work. And and I went through years and years and years and years and hundreds and hundreds of nos. And most people, I mean, we were teetering on bankruptcy for the longest time. And a lot of people know the outcome now, but they don't really realize like, oh wow, like, oh, I know it Cosmetics is in Sephora and Ulta and QVC, but Sephora said no for six years straight. Um, Ulta said QVC, all of them said no for years. And uh and so many of us will give up after one no or five nos or 20 nos or we let other people's nos somehow equate to our own doubt or we think that they're some indication of our lack of potential. Uh, and there's just so many lessons I learned along al along the way around this and in particular around um how to handle rejection and failures and fear because

you you were bringing this up a second ago, fear of failure, fear of rejection. Uh, and there's a whole chapter in worthy called when you change your relationship with rejection, you change your entire life. And it it it literally helps everyone because I had to the only way I was able to go from like my living room to a billion dollar company but and endure all those years and hundreds and hundreds of nos is learning how to totally change my relationship with rejection and fear of it and fear of failure. Um and so I go deep into how how everyone listening can do that in their life like right now in the book.

Um but in terms of um your question about faith. So two things. Uh I remember one painful rejection in building it cosmetics and we had gotten nos from everybody and I was like I don't know how we're going to stay alive as a business and oh my gosh I finally got a phone call that I was like this is going to change my life forever. It was this potential investor. Um, and I think you probably know this story, but just to share with anyone who doesn't know, he ran this huge private equity company and I was like, "Oh my gosh, if they invest in us, A, we're not going to go bankrupt and then B, maybe he could use his leverage to like get us into all these stores that keep telling me no."

And um, like I used to save my Denny's tip money to buy like a lipstick in Sephora or in the department, you know what I mean? And I was like, I had these huge dreams and they were all telling me no. And so I was so excited. I was like, maybe he's going to invest and all this stuff. And so we started taking meeting after meeting after meeting. Um and it got down to the final meeting. And at the very end I was like, you know, this is going to change my life. I had these I was praying like crazy. And uh and the head and we were in person for the final meeting and the head guy was like three feet from me. His whole team was there.

They were really awesome. Um, and the head guy says to me after I presented our whole future product pipeline, everything he says, uh, you know, you should be so proud. Like, congratulations. This is a really great product. You should be really proud, but it's a no. We're going to pass on investing in It Cosmetics. And by this point, I had heard so many nos. And I was like, okay, can you tell me why?

Because feedback is usually a gift. And he just got really, really quiet. And he says, "Do you want me to be really honest with you?" And I'm like, "Yeah, like yes, please." And I remember the moment his his mouth started moving and he says, "I just don't think women will buy makeup from someone who looks like you with your body and your weight." And when he said those words, first of all, I never actually felt any anger toward him, but I felt like this lifetime of body doubt and self-doubt like flood my body all at once. And it felt like almost like I was staring my own fear straight in the eye when he was saying this. But the but why I'm sharing this story was a pivotal moment in my faith journey. So when he said those words to me, I just don't think women will buy makeup for someone who looks like you with your body and your weight.

Like I I'll never forget this. Like I can feel it like it was yesterday. I got this feeling like deep down inside in the pit of my stomach that said he's wrong. Like I felt it so clear. It said he's womb. And I didn't know how I was going to prove it, but I felt it. And when I look back on that experience, now I went in my car and cried my eyes out. But when I look back on that experience, because those words like would replay in my head over and over in the next several years while I'm still just trying to get this business off the ground. And uh what I realized happened in that moment because I got that feeling so strong in my gut. And every one of us has an intuition. No matter what you believe in, God, the universe, it does not matter. Every one of us has an intuition. For me, when I pray, it's how I hear God is through my intuition.

Um, every one of us has an intuition. And what I know happened in that moment is this guy gave me a no, but I got that feeling. And so, like, he gave me a no, but God gave me a knowing.

Wow. our our life, our relationships, if we're in the right job, if we're in the right friend circle, if we're in every literally I think everything in our life comes down to which one we listen to. Do we listen to the nose or do we listen to the knowing? And you shared this so beautifully because I think so many people will relate to this is that so often we're the ones giving ourselves the most powerful nos. We're the ones saying the most hurtful nos to ourselves. You can have people all around you being great, but we're the ones looking in the mirror and be like, "I'm not enough. I don't have what it takes. I all the things, right?" And and and so so first of all, the same question goes for for us, for you, for me, for all of us. Okay, we're telling ourselves all these painful nos, but if we get still, if we pray, if we ask, we will get a knowing. And it our our the nos we tell ourselves those are in our

head. Those are where self-doubt lives. That is not who we are. Our knowing is in our gut in our soul. And that's the truth for me. That is how I hear God. That is how I hear my intuition. And our knowing is always more powerful and always more true than anyone else's advice or than the nos we are telling ourselves than nos anyone else's. So, so a big thing in moments when we're doubting ourselves is to like check in and go, okay, is this the truth in my soul telling me this or is this my self-doubt in my mind which is a lie?

And it's almost always a lie. And then we have the decision of, well, which am I going to trust? Which am I going to listen to? Um, and in in the book worthy like there's over, you know, 20 different tools and lives to unlearn and tools to apply. And one of those tools is the chapter you just mentioned which is called who am I doubting? um who who am I really who are you really doubting and it is the it's a chapter about faith and uh so many people maybe you trust the universe always has your back or you practice a particular faith for me I'm Christian I believe in God and I had this huge moment where I realized in my life and this is relevant to anybody who doubts they're enough who thinks that they don't like what they look like or what their body looks like or they don't feel they're worthy of walking into the room or they're unqualified or any of the things that we believe. I had this

moment where, you know, I feel like, oh, I I really believe God's word. I believe I'm fearfully, wonderfully made in his image. I believe I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I say I believe all that, but then how am I doubting I'm enough when I'm about to walk into a room? How am I thinking I don't like how I look? How am I thinking I don't have what it takes and I'm unqualified and all the things. And what I realized is, oh wow, when I believe my own thoughts and my own self-doubt, like when I have self-doubt, and this is for any of us, when we have self-doubt, what we're actually doing is believing our own thoughts and doubting God's word.

Mhm. And so I started going, "Oh, wow. Okay, I actually don't have self-doubt. I have God doubt because I'm trusting myself. I don't have self I have God doubt." And I'm like, "Okay, who do I want to believe? Do I want to believe my own self-doubt or do I want to believe God's word and what he says about me and how I have everything it takes and I'm wonderfully made in his image?" Like, like do which do I want to believe? And so it is one of the tools now I apply to my life that's and and for for anyone who has a strong faith this is an instantaneous self-worth shortcut because any room you're tempted to feel like you don't belong in if you're handed around walking down a red carpet any red carpet you're tempted to feel like you don't any business you're tempted to feel like oh what if people see me fail any any self-doubt that you're tempted right for me I will intercept it in a second and be like, am

I going to trust my own thoughts and self-doubt or am I going to trust God's word? And I will remember in that I will make the decision that I'm going to trust him in that moment. And then I walk into a room knowing who's walking in with me, knowing who's I am, knowing whose image I'm made in, knowing who's in me. It is an instant like identity level um self-worth hack and really quick way to silence everything because at the end of the day, you know, I mean, it really is self-doubt really is for for people with strong faith, it's really just God doubt is what it is. And so for a lot of people, they're like, "Oh, wait a minute." And then it all of a sudden becomes way easier to just decide who are you going to believe in that moment. Um, so yeah, it's it's a very um a very powerful thing in building it cosmetics. I had to learn literally to completely completely change the meaning I attached

to rejection and failure to one that was actually empowering and inspiring, which sounds like crazy to hear me say it that way, but it's so possible. And and when we and when I did that, I was able to like go for things in in a way where I was fearless of if I got rejected or failed. Um there was one day I was so I was crying under my covers after a painful rejection, another painful rejection. And I just started googling everyone I admired most in the world who'd like done incredible things and you know helped heal humanity through love or built incredible businesses or inspired the world. Every single one of them has had so many rejections and failures. They're just the brave ones willing to keep going anyway. And I remember one day in my journal, I wrote out, "Rejection no longer means I'm not enough. Rejection means this is a victory. I'm one of the brave ones willing to go like keep going. I'm not

going to live my life on the sidelines living in regret. Like I'm going to make this decision that every time I get rejected, of course, initially my neural pathways in my brain are going to go, "Yep, there's proof you're not enough." but I'm going to intercept it and go right into like this is a victory. I'm one of the brave ones willing to go for it. And I started retraining my mind around this. And I started building this toolbox of new definitions. So another one is like rejection's God's protection like everyone that started coming in my life. And I learned how to become fearless over rejection and failure. and literally when it happens to me feel joy which I know sounds wild but it and there's so many issues in my life Hannah that I'm working on but I can tell you with 100% certainty I am fearless about rejection and failure and I go deep into how to do this and worthy in the book

and I also talk about how to revisit past rejection and this this one is the biggest one in our lives

is so many of us have had people hurt us let us down We've let ourselves down. We've failed. We've made mistakes. We've hurt people. We have regrets. There's so many things from the past that we are still holding on to like big labels on us in an identity level. We so often let them take root and then we think we're a failure or we're rejected. Like it's it's a big thing. And so I go into how to revisit like past rejections and redefine those as well. And you know, there's a lot of examples I give in the book, but just to share one um for the sake of time today, just for anyone listening, uh if you've had somebody break your heart or maybe somebody like who did not love you the way you needed to be loved, maybe it's even growing up in your family or still, or a friend that just betrayed your trust, or someone who pulled the rug out from under you, or it could also be something recent like applying for something and

not getting it and you wanted it so bad and like they didn't see your value or didn't see your worth. Or it could be not being invited to a party or trying to make friends with this group of people and someone just doesn't like you and you don't know why no matter what you do. So, I talk about how you like like the tool about about um revisiting any of those and and redefining what they mean and and and how to build a whole toolbox of assigning meaning to those things. And so my favorite one of all of them, I go in a bunch of them in the book, but my favorite one of all is I will look at situations like that in my life right now, and I will literally instead of thinking, "Oh, I'm rejected.

I'm not enough." Whatever. I literally imagine God saying to me, "Oh, you're not rejected. I hid your value from them because they're not a sign to your destiny."

And I will believe it, Hannah. I will believe it at my core. and it helps me build resiliency and and and and and and a fearlessness around it and it helps me not let those things take root at a self-worth level. So, there's so many tools we can apply to our lives right now that literally change it because I'm sitting here talking to you. And I want to like jump inside your body and be fully fearless about all the things you want to go after because who cares if you fail and fall flat on your face? like like all that that only means the meaning we attach to it. That's it. And you have the power to decide what meaning you attach to that. And when you become fearless over it, like that is when you become unstoppable. Like that's when you become unstoppable. So,

but I want to go back to your own story. Do you remember how old you were or what situation you were in life when you first realized this could be a little girl, teenage years, whatever that you were struggling with self-confidence? I think there there's one moment I can remember and maybe a lot of people actually will have this moment in common because I think a lot of us have this experience when we as little kids we you know have opinions and know the answers and this and that. I I remember more than one moment where this happened but I think the first moment is the most powerful and maybe a lot of people listening to us have had this moment. I can remember as a little kid like the first time in the classroom knowing the answer and for the first time ever deciding not to raise my hand like the first time self-doubt kind of like took over and I had thoughts like well what if I'm wrong what if I get made fun of

what if all of that right and I think for a lot of us we start self-doubt can get so loud and all of a sudden before you know it. We're adults and parents and grandparents and we're still in a spot where we can again be having all kinds of worldly success, but no, deep down inside we're still not raising our hand. And and what that can look like is, oh, my business is doing so phenomenally well, but I actually have these really like god-sized dreams about it or different types of ideas for it, but I'm I'm afraid to actually put them out there or take a chance just in case I fail. I think who I am with these ideas maybe isn't enough. Maybe I'm inadequate to actually lead my team to that next level. So we we're so many of us are still that person, still not raising our hand even though we're able to check enough boxes around us to hide it. And so, you know, uh, for me, I can remember I can remember when self-doubt

started to kick in and then, uh, and then I remember a number of moments in my career, and I know you go deep on your show, deep on your podcast. Um but you know and maybe a lot of people listening can relate to this especially people in a leadership position um or who's leading a team is you know I found myself in many moments in my life knowing how to do enough to do that well but also knowing deep down inside uh I didn't feel like I was enough. I didn't I felt often like I'm I'm an imposttor. Do I have what it takes to do this? Uh and there were many moments where I did doubt myself out of my own destiny. So I think while a lot of people might know my story as you know Denny's waitress builds billion dollar business um or first woman to hold a CEO title in L'Oreal's history of any brand in their 100 plus year history. My real story is a girl who went from not believing in herself to learning how to believe in

herself. And you know, my first book, believe it, is really my journey of learning how to how to believe in myself, but worthy is really the playbook on how do you believe in you. And it's packed with over 20 tools um that are real tactical that you can really apply to your life right now. Like I think of the rejection framework, but for for an example in the book and you know, a lot of people will ask, well, how did you you know, endure years and years and years of rejection building your business? And you know, a lot of people don't know we were teetering on bankruptcy for many years.

A lot of people just kind of know the success story. Wow, it's now one of the largest, you know, uh, companies in that space. But for many years, it was rejection after rejection. And I think, you know, learning how how to deal with that is is such a powerful thing. And also how to almost embrace it in a in a in a fearless way. how to reframe past rejection so we don't let them take root and start to think that we're a failure which can then take root in our self-worth. And so yeah, I packed it with lots and lots of tools on hopefully that everyone can apply to their lives right now. Um because you know, one of the things I say in the book is that you know when it comes to your business or your leadership or your life or your relationships or your goals and dreams that that that we don't soar to the level of our goals and dreams. we stay stuck at the level of our selfworth and

and we don't rise to what we believe is possible. We fall to what we believe we're worthy of. And so, um, you know, when you build your self-worth, it's just one of the most and doing that through faith and doing that through a whole lot of other tools because at the end of the day, building strong self-worth is not about learning new things. It's actually about unlearning. It's about unlearning a lot of the lies that that lead to self-doubt and then igniting those truths that wake up worthiness. So yeah,

ladies and gentlemen, rock this house and welcome to the stage K Le. BABY K Lemur.

Every single one of us has had someone tell us we're not enough. Every single one of us has had someone say words to us that

Questions about this episode

Who speaks in "The Most Dangerous Lie You Tell Yourself About Rejection | Jamie Kern Lima"?

Jamie Kern Lima (Guest), Jim (Guest).

What is "The Most Dangerous Lie You Tell Yourself About Rejection | Jamie Kern Lima" about?

In this discussion, Jamie Kern Lima emphasizes the critical journey from self-doubt to self-belief in the face of rejection, drawing on her personal experiences and the lessons learned while facing years of setbacks. She encourages individuals to embrace their authenticity and use rejection as a catalyst for growth, ultimately striving to overcome external discouragement to realize their true…

What is mentioned in this Jamie Kern Lima episode?

10 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Believe It, Jamie Kern Lima, IT Cosmetics, L'Oreal, Oprah Winfrey, QVC. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "The Most Dangerous Lie You Tell Yourself About Rejection | Jamie Kern Lima"?

The episode runs 1 h 29 min; the transcript is about 17,372 words in 164 timestamped sections.

More from Jamie Kern Lima

About this transcript: the episode's spoken words as captioned on YouTube, split into timestamped sections. Reclip.Me locates every person, work and idea in the text, keeps the time it is first named, and quotes the words around it verbatim. Last updated February 5, 2026.