How to Know Who Belongs in Your Life | Jamie Kern Lima

What is discussed, and when

1. 0:00 – 10:00: Inner circle, Outer circle, Self-Worth, Boundaries
2. 10:00 – 20:00: Self-Worth, Identity, Self-confidence, Worthybook.com
3. 20:00 – 30:00: Barbara Walters, Growth Day Morning Show, Personal growth / Growth, Instagram
4. 30:00 – 40:00: Self-doubt, Instagram, IT Cosmetics
5. 40:00 – 50:00: Costco, IT Cosmetics, Self-doubt
6. 50:00 – 1:00:00: Identity, Gratitude practice, Growth Day Morning Show, High Performance Planner
7. 1:00:00 – 1:10:00: Self-Worth, Abraham Lincoln, Denny's, GrowthDay
8. 1:10:00 – 1:20:00: Self-Worth, Self-confidence, Self-doubt
9. 1:20:00 – 1:30:00: Growth Day Morning Show, Instagram, Self-Worth, The Bachelor
10. 1:30:00 – 1:34:18: Block time

Notable quotes from "How to Know Who Belongs in Your Life | Jamie Kern Lima"

• Big question. Big question to consider, right? Does your inner circle feel more like a circle or like a cage? Big question. So there is an entire chapter in worthy called circle or cage and it really goes deep into the power of.

  about Inner circle · at 0:09

• You can truly impact who you believe you are at a core level. And that is why it can impact your self-worth. That is why it is so important. And a lot of us have, people we…

  about Self-Worth · at 1:00

• Maybe you talk about what's going on the Bachelor tonight or who won the NFL game this weekend or whatever it might be. But you keep them in your outer circle. you don't share those, core big goals and dreams and hopes and.

  about The Bachelor · at 3:41

• Super important. I wrote I shared an excerpt from Worthy on my Instagram and social recently and it just went bananas like people sharing it like wildfire. And I think it's…

  about Instagram · at 4:38

• And so few people understand, but it is so critical is that we think if we build a lot of self-confidence and we do all the things that we're just going to keep going in the…

  about Self-confidence · at 7:16

• Want just a really healthy one. You have big goals and dreams and you have it on your vision board and you've made a list of everything you want and then you get it, but you but it doesn't work. You sabotage it and you don't know why. It's.

  about Vision board · at 8:05

• But a lot in a very short amount of time, like the level of success with what it cosmetics has done and what you have done. When you look back, how have you emotionally caught…

  about IT Cosmetics · at 15:21

• We're talking about. And I bring that up because y'all, what we're trying to do with this Growth Day morning show and with growth day, my company, is we are trying to start…

  about Growth Day Morning Show · at 26:56

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

• Barbara Walters — Person · 2 mentions · first at 21:23
  Room you might remember this moment where I was Oprah Winfrey was being interviewed by Barbara Walters and this moment made the news everywhere and she said to her I all she I…
• Wayne Dyer — Person · 1 mention · first at 23:42
  Inspire you, then later get to work with them. Like I got to I got to go on a tour with Wayne Dyer. I got to, have all the big names on my stages now. And I used to buy their…
• Abraham Lincoln — Person · 1 mention · first at 1:04:25
  Challenges and the frustrations were built for this singular moment that happened with Abraham Lincoln with all his failures. Loss, loss, loss, loss, loss that prepared him to have the empathy to literally be able to heal a nation.
• Brendon Burchard — Person · 1 mention
• Danielle Canty — Person · 1 mention
• Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill — Person · 1 mention

Books & papers

• Believe IT: How to Go from Underestimated to Unstoppable — Book · 1 mention
• Worthy: How to Believe You Are Enough and Transform Your Life for You — Book · 1 mention

Companies & orgs

• Instagram — Company · 6 mentions · first at 4:45
• IT Cosmetics — Company · 5 mentions · first at 15:25
• Growth Day Morning Show — Company · 5 mentions · first at 27:00
• The Bachelor — Company · 3 mentions · first at 3:44
• L'Oréal — Company · 1 mention · first at 16:12
  Realized, which is also part of why I thought, okay, let's really partner with L'Oreal because I need to really make as an entrepreneur some fundamental shifts in my life. but…
• Costco — Company · 1 mention · first at 47:40
  Going to pay the bills. I don't know how I'm going to keep the lights on. Like I started going to the Costco. I don't know if you have a Costco by you, but the Costco outdoor…
• GrowthDay — Company · 1 mention · first at 1:00:51
• Denny's — Company · 1 mention · first at 1:08:09
  It. my first book is really my story of kind of what you shared going from Denny's waitress to billion-dollar entrepreneur and sort of like all the ups and downs and worthy is…
• 7-Eleven — Company · 1 mention
• BossBabe — Company · 1 mention
• Gallery Books — Company · 1 mention
• Harpo Productions — Company · 1 mention
• Harvard University — Company · 1 mention
• NFL — Company · 1 mention
• QVC — Company · 1 mention
• Ulta Beauty — Company · 1 mention

Products & tech

• Worthybook.com — Product · 2 mentions · first at 13:11
• High Performance Planner — Product · 2 mentions · first at 59:13
  Fulfillment in your life, that's a practice. That's a habit. And so for me, everyone knows I use my high performance planner on the daily, on the weekly, and on the monthly.…
• Cheetos — Product · 1 mention · first at 5:03
  When we eat Cheetos, we get residue, orange residue in our fingers. When we drink blue slurpee, our tongue turns blue from the blue residue, right? When we eat a food of a particular color, our.
• Slurpee — Product · 1 mention · first at 5:08
  When we eat Cheetos, we get residue, orange residue in our fingers. When we drink blue slurpee, our tongue turns blue from the blue residue, right? When we eat a food of a…
• Realtor.com — Product · 1 mention · first at 55:22
  Out, I either randomly surf real estate in random cities I'm never even going to move to on like realtor.com or Zillow.
• Zillow — Product · 1 mention · first at 55:22
  Out, I either randomly surf real estate in random cities I'm never even going to move to on like realtor.com or Zillow.
• GrowthDay.com — Product · 1 mention · first at 1:00:51
• Believeit.com — Product · 1 mention
• DocuSign — Product · 1 mention
• worthybook.com/5tips — Product · 1 mention

Concepts & topics

• Self-Worth — Concept · 24 mentions · first at 1:07
• Self-doubt — Concept · 12 mentions · first at 1:25
  Them, we feel our vibration go down. We feel our belief in our self go down. We feel our self-doubt go up or our fear go up. Right? All of those things we don't want more of…
• Self-confidence — Concept · 10 mentions · first at 7:21
• Inner circle — Concept · 7 mentions · first at 0:12
• Identity — Concept · 7 mentions · first at 7:48
  Soar to the level of our hopes and dreams. We actually stay stuck at the level of our self-worth or our identity.
• Outer circle — Concept · 5 mentions · first at 0:34
  It really goes deep into the power of you know your inner circle and then what I call your outer circle and then the space where people don't belong anywhere near your circle…
• Circle or Cage — Concept · 2 mentions · first at 0:22
  Like a circle or like a cage? Big question. So there is an entire chapter in worthy called circle or cage and it really goes deep into the power of you know your inner circle…
• Boundaries — Concept · 2 mentions · first at 1:48
  Out of our lives, but we also know, oh gosh, if I don't have, boundaries and if they're around me all the time, I just kind of feel like I start to doubt myself out of my own…
• Emotional residue — Concept · 2 mentions · first at 5:23
  Food. Well, there's also that's real physical residue we can see. There's also emotional residue, which is when you spend time around people, how do you feel after their…
• Vision board — Concept · 2 mentions · first at 8:09
• Personal growth / Growth — Concept · 2 mentions · first at 24:55
  Excited about education and learning not just Zoom but like real personal development personal growth and psychology and you know who knows how they'll turn out.
• Personal fulfillment — Concept · 2 mentions
• Self-awareness — Concept · 1 mention · first at 28:30
  Like I'd say early 20s specifically. So, it's like personal development, we always talk about self-awareness, self- responsibility, self-reliance, but a huge part of personal…
• Gratitude practice — Concept · 1 mention · first at 51:58
  A lot of people have a gratitude practice and yeah, I'm happy about that. I'm grateful about that. It's like gratitude doesn't work unless it hits the heart and absorbs into the identity, right? Your courage.
• Neuroplasticity — Concept · 1 mention · first at 56:49
  For yourself, of celebrating yourself, of switching the whole neuroplasticity and the way grooves are carved, right? Most of us are used to looking in the mirror. And I'll just speak for myself and for the millions of women I've now had the.
• Sunday review — Concept · 1 mention · first at 1:00:06
  Sunday's like planning day. Sunday is reflection day. We call it in my world the Sunday review. Review. What did you learn? What did can you celebrate? What happened that was…
• High performance habits — Concept · 1 mention · first at 1:22:39
  So hard. And I was embarrassed to admit this to Brendan because he is like the master at high performance habits.
• Block time — Concept · 1 mention · first at 1:33:08
  Literally can't create for at least two hours. So she has to divide up her day block time. Yes.
• Growth mindset — Concept · 1 mention
• Impostor Syndrome — Concept · 1 mention
• Integration (psychology) — Concept · 1 mention
• Personal ambition — Concept · 1 mention
• Personal boundaries — Concept · 1 mention
• Personal calling — Concept · 1 mention
• Personal growth community — Concept · 1 mention
• Personal journey — Concept · 1 mention
• Personal legacy — Concept · 1 mention
• Personal narrative — Concept · 1 mention
• Personal platform — Concept · 1 mention
• Personal resilience — Concept · 1 mention
• Personal responsibility — Concept · 1 mention
• Personal setbacks — Concept · 1 mention
• Personal story — Concept · 1 mention
• Personal story sharing — Concept · 1 mention
• Personal transformation — Concept · 1 mention
• Personal vision — Concept · 1 mention
• Self-sabotage — Concept · 1 mention

Places & events

• Public library — Place · 1 mention · first at 23:52
  Tape. I love what you said. I used to buy their tapes. I used to go to the library. Public library.
• Pacific Standard Time — Place · 1 mention · first at 26:42
  Hear favorite characters for sure. By the way, we're live every day 7:30 a.m. Pacific Standard Time on Instagram and Facebook. So when I look off camera, if you're on…

Sponsors

• Sponsor: Amazon — Sponsor · 1 mention
• Sponsor: Believeit.com — Sponsor · 1 mention
• Sponsor: GrowthDay — Sponsor · 1 mention
• Sponsor: Worthybook.com — Sponsor · 1 mention

Full transcript with timestamps

0:00 When you think of the closest people around you, do they feel more like a circle or a cage? Big question. Big question to consider, right? Does your inner circle feel more like a circle or like a cage? Big question. So there is an entire chapter in worthy called uh circle or cage and it really goes deep into the power of you know your inner circle and then what I call your outer circle and then the space where people don't belong anywhere near your circle right and and I talk about because so many of you ask me questions like how do I build adult friendships or how do I get great mentors in my life or how do I, you know, knowing that energy is contagious.

0:52 How do I attract or curate the right kind of people around me? Huge question, so important. And who you have around you can truly impact who you believe you are at a core level. And that is why it can impact your self-worth. That is why it is so important. And a lot of us have, you know, people we were raised around or really well-intended family we love, but we know when we're around them, we feel our vibration go down. We feel our belief in our self go down. We feel our self-doubt go up or our fear go up. Right? All of those things we don't want more of, we feel them go up when we're around them. But we love them, but we don't want to be like, "Peace out, right?" In a lot of cases, I mean, we love people and we don't just want them out of our lives, but we also know, oh gosh, if I don't have, you know, boundaries and if they're around me all the time, I just kind of feel like I start to doubt myself out of my own

1:54 destiny or I feel like I start to talk myself out of my own truth or I feel my fear or anxiety increasing. Right? Those are all things that are so important to notice. And you know this isn't something you broadcast like I think you are much more of a cage than a circle for me right these are stuff that you first of all just start with awareness awareness inside yourself of thinking about who are the closest people to you in your life that you spend the most time with. Do they feel like a circle or a cage? I go into how to do this at a real granular level in the whole chapter on circle or cage in worthy. Um, and it really talks about how do you really identify it and then how do you curate your true inner circle and what that means? What does that mean to have a true inner circle? Which by the way, your circle could be two people. It could be five people. You just want to make sure they're the right people,

2:50 right? So, how do you truly curate your inner circle? And that might mean existing people in your life that are part of it. It may mean you need to get another person or two in there. That's the kind of person you want in your inner circle. And then how do you establish more of an outer circle, which is people that you want in your life, but they might be in specific or limited capacities, right? There might be someone that you just love working out with and but you notice every time you're working out and you share your big professional ambitions, you start to just kind of doubt yourself, right? uh and they don't get it or they, you know, see your ideas through the lens of their own fear or their own limiting belief, right? So, it talks about, okay, well, maybe that's a person that's more in your outer circle that you bond with at the gym. You get the reps in together.

3:41 Maybe you talk about what's going on on the Bachelor tonight or who won the NFL game this weekend or whatever it might be. But you keep them in your outer circle. you don't share those, you know, core big goals and dreams and hopes and ideas because, you know, if you do, their self-doubt is gonna stick to you, right? So, who is it in your outer circle and how do you set boundaries up around there and how do you nurture and love on those relationships and keep those relationships you want to keep in your life, but you move them out of the inner circle into the outer circle. And then I go deep in here into in circular cage which is one of the uh chapters one of the more than 20 tools in worthy on how to build selfworth. I go deep into like how do you truly identify if a person should be nowhere near your circle at all and then what do you do about it especially if they are loved ones, friends, family etc. So this is

4:38 super super important. I wrote um I shared an excerpt from Worthy uh on my Instagram and social recently and it just went bananas like people sharing it like wildfire. And I think it's because so many of us can identify with this and it's a it's a it's a definition really of what your inner circle should feel like because I'm going to share it with you in a second. But here's what I want to say. When we eat Cheetos, we get residue, orange residue in our fingers. When we drink blue slurpee, our tongue turns blue from the blue residue, right? When we eat a food of a particular color, our our tongue might get the residue of that food. Well, there's also that's real physical residue we can see. There's also emotional residue, which is when you spend time around people, how do you feel after their emotional residue sticks to you? So, if you walk into a room and you're like, I do not feel welcome or these people are

5:39 mean or the vibration's low or whatever it might be and you leave that room, you kind of feel that like that emotional residue sticking to you and you just want to like shake it off. Emotional residue is a real thing. It's so important. I go deep into it and worthy. And here's what I want to share about your inner circle. I'm going to read it to you from an excerpt from the book. Okay? Your inner circle should feel like a hug and taste like freedom. It should be a place you can exhale where you can mess up, get it wrong, cry it out, all with the unshakable certainty that love won't be withheld from you if you do. That is how your inner circle should feel. So today, ask yourself, are the people closest to you more of a circle or a cage? and let's get busy putting them in the right spot. Inner circle, outer circle, nowhere near your circle because it is one of the most important tools to building unshakable self-worth. Have you

6:42 ever had amazing momentum towards something, whether it was a goal or a dream or your business or an idea or a relationship, whatever it was, and then you completely sabotaged it. Like completely sabotaged it. And you don't know why. And you're trying to figure out why did I do that? or why did my momentum stop? Or why did all my success just come crashing down? Or why did I do that? What did I do in that relationship that just caused it to go backwards? Here's the thing that no one talks about and so few people understand, but it is so critical is that we think if we build a lot of self-confidence and we do all the things that we're just going to keep going in the momentum we build. But the truth is that you don't soar to the level of your hopes and dreams, whether it's in relationships or in your goals in your business or your career um or your ideas or any of it, right? We don't soar to the level of our hopes and

7:44 dreams. We actually stay stuck at the level of our self-worth or our identity. And here's what happens is when you, you know, want like a really really healthy relationship with someone else, whether it's a romantic relationship, a partnership in business, a friendship, you know, any type of relationship, you want just a really healthy one. You have big goals and dreams and and you have it on your vision board and you've made a list of everything you want and then you get it, but you but it doesn't work. You sabotage it and you don't know why. It's because deep down inside you don't believe you're worthy of that.

8:25 This is the number one reason why we sabotage things and why things don't happen for us. Or by the way, you never go for it at all. Right? Maybe you put these big goals and dreams on the vision board for your relationships or your friendships as an adult or whatever it might be, right? And then you're like, why haven't I made an effort to go out there and make new friends? Why haven't I, you know, swiped a whole bunch of times on the dating app? Why haven't I told that person I want to be more than just friends? It's because deep down inside when we do not believe we're worthy of something, one of a few things will happen. Either we'll never go for it. We'll stay stuck, right? Or we go for it and then we sabotage it along the way. We put that really awesome person in the friend zone and we know they're amazing and we don't know why we're not attracted to them, right? Because we're attracted to what

9:20 we believe we're worthy of. So when you work hard to build your self-worth, it changes everything because it's your identity, right? Your identity. You will not rise to the level of your hopes and dreams. You will literally fall to the level of your self-worth or your identity. It is the one thing that changes everything. And here is the biggest mistake so many people make is they think, "Okay, I just need to build more confidence. I just need to build more skills, more attributes, more I just need to fit into my favorite jeans.

9:52 I just need to, you know, start taking better care of myself or, you know, doing all these things and then then I'll find that relationship or then I'll know enough to have my business succeed." And then so many people spend their whole lives striving for those things, right? which these things are important. Building self-confidence and which comes from how you assess your skills and abilities, all the things happening around you, how you feel you stack up to others, your willingness to try and go for it. All those things are so important. But you can build all the self-confidence in the world, have all the skills, the abilities, the talent, the knowhow.

10:31 But if deep down inside your identity doesn't believe that you are worthy, if deep down inside your identity isn't built on rock solid self-worth, then you can have all these things and it doesn't it doesn't impact if you'll actually get the thing you want. like like you can have all of these, you know, beautiful things that build self-confidence, but you will still plateau at the level of your self-worth and what you believe you're worthy of, right? What you believe you deserve and and and who your identity is. So, this is the number one reason people sabotage things. It's the number one reason why we stay stuck. And so many people keep trying to solve it by just doing things that build more confidence but don't build selfworth. Building your self-worth will be the number one thing that will help you get unstuck or help you stop sabotaging things whether they're in your business whether

11:34 it's taking your business to the next level in your career ambitions. Maybe you are an artist and you love to paint or or or do poetry or or you know any of the expression and offerings inside of you that you just have this longing to share with the world but you don't know why you're not could be in that area, right? It could be in your relationships and friendships like like we talked about a second ago. any of the areas of life like the number one way to get unstuck and the number one way to not sabotage them to stop sabotaging stuff is to build selfworth. That's it.

12:11 Because when you build this knowing that who you are is enough and you are worthy of love and belonging exactly as you are, then what you know is no matter what happens when you put your offerings out in the world or or or what you believe you're worthy already. And that doesn't take away your ambition. It just gives you a rockolid resiliency, right? A rock solid identity to just kind of be like so resilient going after those things. And also to be fulfilled when you get them, to not sabotage them, because when your self-worth is really, really strong, that's when you believe you're worthy of it. So, a couple things in worthy um I go deep into how to do this. Like it is a master class on how to do this um because it's so so so important. And also um uh we're going to go really really uh deep into how to do this in the launch team. So if you're seeing this video before February 20th of 2024 and uh you go to worthybook.com,

13:14 you can join me in that. It's completely free um whenever you pre-order the book. And then right now, if you want to dive into something right now that's free, um I put together a fivestep action plan uh on how to boost confidence and belief in yourself, which is a really really important step. Uh and so you can grab that for free at worthybook.com/5 tips, the number five and tips. You can grab that free now. But I just want you to think this through because this is a really big thing. Awareness is the most important first step. If you are someone who, and this was me most of my life, by the way. I remember I was a struggling waitress long before I launched a business in my living room and built it to a billion-dollar company. Long before that, I remember, you know, I was a struggling waitress. I had big kind of like goals and dreams, but I didn't believe I was worthy of them. So, I stayed stuck, right? And then I would go

14:04 after things and sometimes sabotage them. So, if this is you, number one, just being aware of it is huge. just being aware of like, huh, okay, I think maybe I need to build my strong self-worth because here's what I know for sure. We can do all the things. We can accomplish all the things. We can have the biggest awards on our wall. We can have the biggest bank account or, you know, hit our fitness goals or whatever it might be. But if we don't believe we're enough, we will always feel like something's missing and we will often stay stuck and often sabotage things. Building selfworth is everything. So awareness of that is key. Uh and the beautiful thing is you are fully worthy exactly as you are. It's not something you have to earn. It's not something you have to build. It's not something anyone can take away from you. But unlearning all those lies that tell you you're not. and rembracing those truths

15:02 that you are innately worthy and building that self-worth. It is the one thing that will change everything in every area of your life.

15:11 How have you emotionally caught up to your success? And I don't know if that's even clear, but it's like you have done a lot. And when when you look back, I'm sure it didn't feel like at the time, but a lot in a very short amount of time, like the the level of success with what it cosmetics has done and what you have done. When you look back, how have you emotionally caught up to what that means? Um, and even financially, like how you've been like, "Oh my gosh, like I'm not saving tip money anymore for how have you kind of kept up with that?" And even your sense of self, you know, through that.

15:41 Yeah. So, there's things that I've done right and things I've done wrong. Um, one thing I did wrong in the journey was, you know, I got to the point where I was working 100hour weeks and I almost became like addicted to work and busyness and and I went through this journey of learning that like busyness is actually like any other addiction where it separates it like numbs us, separates us from ourselves. And I realized, which is also part of why I thought, okay, let's really partner with L'Oreal because I need to really make as an entrepreneur some fundamental shifts in my life. Um, but the one thing I did wrong was work 100hour weeks and cause myself to burn out all those things. Um the thing I think that I did right from the beginning um and even now in this moment uh now that my circumstances are very different is I've I've always known and this comes from I think my faith deep down inside. I've always known that

16:40 like what I'm called to do isn't about me. And so for me, it's it's what's fueled me in all the times when it seemed like no one else believed in me. Like I knew why I was doing this um was so much bigger than myself and to really shift culture and beauty. And even now, even just saying like, "Oh my gosh, you started something in your living room and someone paid you a billion dollars for it." Like, if I think about that, I can't even process. Like I can't even handle it. Because what happens is I'll start thinking of like, oh, but you know, I don't I didn't come from the right family. None of my neither my parents went to college. Like all those things that we tell ourselves about why we're not the person that has those kind of things happen to us. Um,

17:28 and so, so two things. One, I I often remind myself that like anything that's ever been created that's great or that's a brand we all use now or a big business, like it was all created by somebody really at the end of the day who's just like you and me, who's just like all of us? Every single thing, right? So like why not us? Why not?

17:48 Why not? Yeah. And then and then the other thing is like when I really start to um

17:54 kind of like get in my own head about it because it is really strange to say like oh yeah, like all those things like um I I make it not about my I I know I remind myself it's it's not about me, right? So for my book for example, I'm donating 100% of the proceeds, right? Like like I the the book is to serve, right? And like I I believe at the end of the day that we get in life like what we give, you know what I mean? Along this whole journey, I've known it's bigger than myself even now. Like I just I don't know. I believe that, you know, I'm called to serve and and to like I feel blessed to have accomplished one of my biggest dreams, but my my biggest my biggest driver now is helping other women

18:38 um and especially their entrepreneurs um really other women like accomplish their greatest dreams and like for me that isn't really about me. And so it drives me and and then I don't I don't freak out over things like, "Oh yeah, I sold my business for a billion dollars." Which if I think about it, I can't process it really, right? Um

18:59 and so I just have to flip it in my mind is okay, maybe this is a cool example that is another example for other other entrepreneurs of like it's possible for them,

19:11 right? Um what got you into personal development? I'd love to ask that today. Like to have vision for your life, you have to first want to improve it.

19:18 Yeah. You know, I've always loved it. I mean, I remember Brendan, you'll you'll remember this, but decades ago seeing even infomercials about it, right? And seeing, you know, personal development tapes. I've always loved it. You know, growing up, I mean, I was the only one I know of in my whole family, and I have like five families through divorce and adoption and all kinds of stuff. Um, I would just read quote books and literally geek out in it. I would in high school keep journals filled with my favorite quotes and you know watch speeches from some of the most incredible speakers Dr. Martin Luther King. I would literally I remember days go this I'm such a dork. I remember going to the high school library because you could check out videos and I would check out some of the great speeches and watch them. So I remember sitting in the school library watching Dr. Martin Luther King speak. I remember sitting,

20:09 you know what I mean? I've always just loved it. Um, and I think it's because, and I think probably everyone part of the growth day community maybe shares this where we kind of have that little inkling inside of us that we have something, you know, that special we want to give or create or serve or impact. And I've always kind of had that feeling deep down inside, even from the time I was a little girl, long before I understood it. Um, and I remember, and this is bold. This is bold. Do you think that's like the striving spirit?

20:41 I want to hear a bold thing, but you you feel like you said you're young. How many of you feel like it's it's because you're young, you have like a striving spirit and you it's just something part of you versus you, you know, something interrupted life or or forced duty.

20:56 Yeah. Sometimes we have those ambitions or those thoughts or those and then all of a sudden the world teaches us self-doubt. the world tells us all those things that it's easy to listen to you like you're not enough and this and that and right so but I I mean I remember just from the time I was little and there was a moment um I want to say I was nine years old sitting in my living room you might remember this moment where I was Oprah Winfrey uh was being interviewed by Barbara Walters and this moment made the news everywhere and she said to her um I all she I think it was nine years old and she said, "I always knew I was destined for greatness." And I remember this moment and the press freaked out and all of a sudden she got a lot of negative press for it, too, because I think people weren't used to hearing, especially a woman, make some such a bold claim like that. But I remember being nine years old, sitting

21:51 there in my living room, and I I would switch back and forth between MTV, watching like Yo MTV Wraps, which I wasn't allowed to watch, but I'd watch that, and I go back and forth and watch the Oprah show every day. And I saw I saw this interview with her and Barbara Walters and as a nine-year-old little girl, I remember like getting it. I remember her saying that and feeling like me too, Oprah. Me like I I remember and her example helped me believe it was okay because we learn I think so often and you know we all learn this, not just women, but it's easy to dim our own light. It's easy to, you know, grow up and just the things take over, the bills, the kids, the responsibilities, the setbacks, and it's easy to almost lose our own vision, right? We're talking about vision week on on growth day. It's easy to start losing our own vision.

22:40 The weight of life. Yeah. And I remember that moment, Brandon, as a nine-year-old little girl, just hearing Oprah say that in a way sparked a a vision in me. Um, and I think like I love that we have these conversations. I hope Growth Your Morning Show sparks sparks everyone else's own own vision.

22:58 Talk about vision on this. I'm I'm brag on you for a minute because it's like here's here's a a nine-year-old girl who sees Oprah and gets this idea. Oh, maybe greatness is okay for me, too. And then, you know, builds a billion dollar company. I'm not talking about Oprah. I'm talking about Jamie here with you guys. Then Jaime ends up being like neighbors with Ofra, more or less. And it's like, wow, she built into this vision she had

23:26 in so many different ways. And both of both her and I have been able to give back to so many of our mentors and give our platforms to mentors and uh that really is magical that that you have these interactions with people who inspire you, then later get to work with them. Like I got to I got to go on a tour with Wayne Dyer. I got to, you know, have all the big names on my stages now. And I I used to buy their tape. I love what you said. I used to buy their tapes. I used to go to the library. Public public public library.

23:53 You all know what a public library is. I go to the public library. I'd get them for free. I love what you said, too. You had quote books. I read quote books like they were fiction novels. I would just I mean I used to have a collection of over 150 quote books that I'd bought and read like a book. Like a book. And I'd just write them and then I'd say, "Oh, what do I have to say about this?" And that's what started me writing quotes.

24:16 Wow. Was I was like, "Oh, I like this quote about ambition. What would I say about ambition? I like this quote about confidence. What would I would say about confidence? And I started posting my quotes on Facebook and then it became, you know, the thing. Uh, but it it was all part of the interactions you had of inspirational people, inspirational speeches that you saw young. I had the same thing young. I saw role models. I listened to inspiring speeches. I read quote books young. So parents out there, get your kids seeing some personal development. uh you know listening to some personal development getting excited about education and learning not just Zoom but like real personal development personal growth and psychology and you know who knows how they'll turn out.

24:59 You want to know what's what's uh some parents out there might relate to this? I I'm a new parent. So I have a two-year-old and an eight-month-old and I have not seen Sesame Street in decades. And now I see Sesame Street, I see cartoons, I see all the stuff. Out of everything I've seen, just to call this out, I have to give Sesame Street props.

25:20 Yes. They they weave in personal development. They weave in personal growth into these lessons on believing in yourself, on inclusion, on, you know, trying every time you get knocked down. I'm like, I have a whole new now as an adult woman who's 43 years old, I have a whole new appreciation for how brilliant Sesame Street is. And I'm just like, Yes.

25:46 Yeah. I'm blown away. But I agree with you because when I when I because my daughter will, you know, say everything and you'll, you know, oh, she loves Elmo, but she'll talk about all the different cartoons, but after watching a lot of them now, I'm like, oh, it says me street that I try to make sure she sees over and over because those lessons, right, on just like, you know, all those things, believing in yourself,

26:08 it's just like it's two-sided. They're they're really good at Sesame Street's great at character education.

26:13 Yeah. and teaching kids social acuity. Like how do you read the feelings of this, you know, inanimate object, right? How do you how do you read feelings is what Sesame has been always about and teaching, you know, kids about honesty and integrity and, you know, caring for yourself, you know. Yeah, they're they're the bomb. Who

26:35 so good? If you all love Sesame Street, I want to hear favorite characters for sure. By the way, uh we're live every day 7:30 a.m. Pacific Standard Time on Instagram and Facebook. So when I look off camera, if you're on Instagram, it's because I'm looking at Facebook and Facebook vice versa. But I'm seeing people literally from all around the world who are commenting about, you know, these topics we're talking about. And I bring that up because y'all, what we're trying to do with this Growth Day morning show and with growth day, my company, is we are trying to start this encouraging conversation in your head, but also let you know there's personal development fans and fanatics and dorks like us all around the world who checked out books, who listen to CDs and tapes, who are striving. So, if you're the stver in your family and they make you feel weird about it, no apologies. Keep striving.

27:26 If you're the person who's into reading the books and listen to the podcast and doing your workout, but everybody else around you is just the complainer and not taking action and you know, no self- responsibility, that shouldn't minimize your light. You don't need other people's understanding, approval, or even participation to keep chasing the vision you have for your life. Like one great, you know, untold advantage I've had in my life, Jamie, is I don't expect people to support me.

27:57 I grew up in a place where people beat me. I grew up in a place where people minimized us. I grew up in a place that was economically depressed. I grew up with very little expectations of people around me at all. And so I was that gave me this independent I'm going to make my own way and I'm going to do it either way. And I think that in one way that was good because it made me self-reliant. In another way, I think I wish I had asked for help earlier in my like I'd say early 20s specifically. So, it's like personal development, we always talk about self-awareness, self- responsibility, self-reliance, but a huge part of personal development is your environment, your community. And so, everybody here who joins us growth day morning show every day, thank you.

28:41 We love that you're weird like us. We love that you can chat down below and share about what you learned on Sesame Street or what book you read this year. You are geeking out about getting excited about for today too. Even if you have like lots of obligations and hardship the rest of this day, we start with reflection about what's important in life. Reverence for life. We start with the joy Jamie brings to this world. Just look at her smile. You're like

29:06 every time I see her in the morning go, I'm ready. Let's go. with your journey of like going from not believing in yourself to believing in yourself and believing you're enough. How was it a decision that you made or was it really just this, you know, process of basically your entire life up until then?

29:27 Yeah, it's been so many um so many lessons along the way and so many setbacks that I later realized were setups. um so many things I did wrong and then really looking back at what were those things I did right, right? Looking back at when I made decisions where I listened to other people's opinions or the experts instead of actually listening to my own gut. Oh, those were the things I did wrong when I look back at what happened, right? And it's been building on all of these things. And so, you know, in the book, I share so many stories. And it's wild because like literally 95% of the book is stuff I've never shared before, ever.

30:08 And I had this realization that a really big realization that, you know, because I get um DMs on Instagram every single day from so many girls and women um and people who say like, "Oh, wow. You started with nothing and built a billion dollar business from your living room. like did you just get lucky or was like you know did someone give you a big break or like did you right all those things and I kind of had this realization oh when you just see the highlight reel or you just read the headlines it makes it seem like oh maybe she just got lucky or she's you know whatever and it's like you know what I felt this strong calling on my heart that if I could pour everything I've learned into how you do that like how did I do that um into one book that that would be of service to other people, right? And so like for example, I'm donating 100% of the proceeds by the way, every penny from the book. I'm

31:05 literally purely just doing it for exactly the question you just asked, which is to help every other person out there um learn to believe that stepping into all of who they're born to be is possible. Right. The thing when I look back on all of the lessons from going through years of hearing no because I you know I created a company called IT Cosmetics in my living room where I started with an idea and close to no money and I just thought once we created an amazing product that worked I thought it would just do well right and then then I started this journey of every beauty retailer saying no every department store every QVC everybody saying no you're not the right fit uh you know we don't think your positioning is right? We don't think you're right for the beauty industry. All those things. And when I look back of, you know, and I went through three years of hearing nos from everybody um and got

32:01 down to under $1,000 in in my bank account, which was our personal and business bank account, and didn't know how I was going to make it. And when I look back on all of the journey, like there's so many lessons I learned along the way, but one of the biggest ones and really a huge throughine in in this whole book is that like yeah, I worked really really hard and I didn't give up. And not giving up every time you get knocked down, every time you get a setback, that's so important because at the end of the day, a lot of people never realize their dreams because they actually just quit or they give up or they let their own self-doubt talk them out of it.

32:38 So, I I didn't give up and I worked really really hard. But like how I actually built a billion dollar business from my living room was like the most important thing I did when I look back at everything was like I made the decision to believe that I could. And when I try to dissect how did I do that, that's where that's really why I wrote this book is is sharing every single lesson on how do you actually truly peel back the layers on your why, not just do a why. Because that's the other thing, too. A lot of people when they they might keep a goal journal or they might write out their goals and then a lot of people will go in another step, right? and they'll talk about their why like I'm doing this for um you know cuz I want to one day buy a house or I want to you know all these things or or do something for my kids or pay for their college or pay off my student loans whatever it is. And what I've seen

33:34 over the years is that those wise they sound really good and when you tell them to other people they like sound great but if it's not deep deep deep deep to your core you're going to quit. it's not going to be strong enough for you to keep going when you face all these setbacks. And so one of the things I talk about in the book was like I because I've done a ton of things wrong. I've done a ton of things wrong and I share those too. I've never shared this stuff before. I'm actually freaking out to be honest. But I just know it's not about me. It's going to be of service to so many people to know they're not alone in their setbacks and in their hard times and in how to handle them. But in in the book I talk about like of all I did a ton of things wrong but one of the things I did right was early on in my journey I knew okay I'm creating makeup products and of course I want them to work for me and my rosacea because

34:22 nothing else will and of course I want to help other people and those are great wise but they weren't deep like deep deep deep enough and what I realized is in my whole childhood all growing up I only saw images of beauty in magazines and on TV commercials and they were never real, right? They're always overly photoshopped and I never saw anyone that looked like me or had any skin challenges or and I realized in the development of this company while I was trying to create a product that actually worked and when I realized why didn't any other product work and then I realized, oh wait, I don't even know if the models are actually wearing the product they're advertising um all those things. I realized, okay, not only do I want to create a company that has great products, but I want to start using models that are every age, every size, every skin tone, every skin challenge, and I want to authentically

35:17 uh define them as beautiful and and mean it and all those things. And I had this realization on the why beneath the why early on um that like for me it was like oh I I want to shift culture and beauty and and I want to do this for every little girl out there who's about to start doubting herself and every grown woman who still does. And that why was so deep for me because of my whole childhood realizing I'd see these images and I'd want to look like them. I'd aspire to look like them. And at the same time, they always made me feel like I wasn't enough. And so this deep why was so important. I talk about like how to do that in the book for yourself for whatever your dream is. Because some people out there, they're like, "Oh my gosh, I really just want to dance and I want to or I want to start painting again or I want to launch a business."

36:08 Um or I want to become a pastor or I want to start a blog, right? Like we all have these things and I feel like we end up right because here's the big thing. This is the big thing that and I I love just sharing this process in the book too but so many of us know we have this calling on our heart or this like you know kind of inkling where we want to step out and do something but like it's a way more comfortable in our comfort zone. And I feel like we when we stay in our comfort zone, it comes at the price of chipping away at our soul. That's the first thing. And when we have a gut a gut feeling, an intuition like we're made for more, like like we have gifts or talents or ambitions to offer the world. One hard part I've seen and experienced personally too is sometimes the people around us even when they're great people whether they're family or friends or whatever and they love us dearly they don't have that same inkling

37:09 like like they don't get it. They're super happy in their comfort zone. And what happens to so many people is we have the volume turned up. I'm listening to everyone around us. Um, and then we have the self-doubt in our heads of, oh, well, maybe I'm not qualified or maybe I don't have what it takes or maybe I don't, you know, other people are way more advanced artists than I am or other whatever, you know, that inter that inner critic. So, we start to turn up the volume on our own self-doubt. We start to listen to all the opinions of everyone else around us and before we know it, we talk ourselves out of our own truth. And this happens to so many people. And in this in in the book, Believe It, like a big part of why I did it, too, is like I I I talk about the journey of how to love the circle around you, but how to turn down the volume on the stuff that's not for you. And and that goes against the calling of who you

38:08 are and who you're created to be. And how do you add other people around you and turn the volume up on them? And and even more than that is is the self-doubt and everything that we all experience in our own heads, right? And I just feel like that self-doubt sometimes in our own heads is a bigger opposition against us than the people out there rejecting us or saying no or saying you're not the right fit for us or whatever it might be, right? And so this really t this book talks so much I share so much about how to break through that noise of self-doubt um and learn to actually hear your your own intuition and learn to trust yourself, right? Because so many people don't even know even how to how to tune in and listen to their own intuition.

39:01 Maybe they haven't even heard it ever or in a long time because everything around us is so much noise, you know, from other people's opinions to people not believing in us and us getting nos and rejected to then the self-doubt in our own head. It's a lot. And I think the journey of learning how to go from not trusting yourself to to truly trusting yourself is huge. And it's so many so many people, it's their journey they're on right now as well. So, this book is definitely for them.

39:32 It's crazy what you're talking about right now. Even just, you know, loving the people around you, but maybe like turning down some voices or working through self-doubt. I was actually talking to my pastor this morning and we were just having this conversation and she was just saying, you know, a lot of us have very unique calls on our life. Like, a lot more of us have those than realize. They either just don't realize them or they don't have, you know, the courage or the faith to kind of walk that out. And we were talking and I was like, it's not my job to get these people to understand me. Like it's my job to follow what I feel as though like God has put on my heart or what I feel as though is like inside of me. And that's something that I've like I feel like has been a constant battle, not even necessarily with other people, but even with myself sometimes because something specifically that I'm even

40:21 trying to work on now is believing like the best is yet to come. And like being one of those people who believes like, oh, I am so excited for the future. I know what God has for me. I know it's going to be even better than what I've seen. And maybe it's just the year that we've been in or a lot of other life circumstances, but that's something that I'm working on for myself. And it's not about like being this positive person necessarily, but it's a deep core belief not only in myself, but that there is so much good to come. And obviously we're promised trials, like that stuff will always happen. But I feel like when you're in the middle, like we talk about when you are talking about the difference between the headlines versus the reality, I feel as though that's where I feel like I'm kind of at right now in where so many people listening to this are. How do you how do you like navigate the in between?

41:16 And not that it ever necessarily stops, but when you feel like you're in the middle and you you you see more in your head than you see that's like in front of you.

41:25 Yeah. Yeah. So, and and I love that you talk so openly about your faith, right, in all of this. Um because for me that has been like the espresso in my latte in life, you know what I mean? In such a big way. Um, so a couple things I think that and and I have known this, but sometimes we know something and until we actually truly experience it and look back, then we're like we go from like believing it to like being certain of it, right? And in my journey, the thing that I know for sure, I know this for sure is that every setback we experience um is God's way of saying of setting us up. Every setback is a setup for all that is to come. And I believe that the things we go through, even periods like right now that you're describing of feeling like you're in the middle and you're trying so hard to uh uh anticipate and believe that the best is yet to come. Even this season, right, I believe uh is a setup uh for everything

42:33 uh that is to come. And I believe that in all my heart and when I look back at it, I have learned every setback and every hard season and every season that was just okay um was a way of actually making me strong enough to be able to handle the weight of the big God-sized dreams when they come true. because God-sized dreams and stepping into our calling and stepping into who we were created to be, especially those of us that know in our heart we're meant for more. We're meant to give more, serve more, create more, love more, inspire more, right? Be of service more. Uh I believe when you're at service at the highest capacity that it's not about you. It's about how has everything you've walked through and been through actually helping someone else. Believe it's possible to get through it. Believe it's possible to step into all of who they are. And we can't do that unless we've gone through it all as well. And

43:38 so I believe our setbacks are God's setups for everything that's to come. And it doesn't mean they're fun and it doesn't mean they're easy. uh when I look back at going through like the three years of rejection or I look back at you know painful moments right there was a there was a moment um where you know gosh the story when when you know we were a couple years into the business I didn't know how we were going to make it and we had a really big investor interested in our company and I thought like oh my gosh he's going to change my life because he had invested in all these consumer product companies that we all buy at the grocery store and he like his his private equity company had invested in a lot of them when they were super small and made them huge brand names, household names. And I was like, "Oh my gosh." And and we went through all these meetings and at the very end and I thought like, "Oh, if he

44:29 invests in us, then we're not going to go bankrupt and maybe he can help us get into all these stores like Sephora and Ulta and department stores who are all saying no to me." I thought it was the biggest like most exciting thing ever. And at the end, we we flew out for the final meeting and he was standing three feet from me and my husband was right next to me and he said, "Uh, we're going to, you know, I wanted to share with you in person that we're so grateful for your time. You know, we're excited for all your building, but we're going to pass on investing in it cosmetics. It's a no." And I remember saying, "Okay, can you tell like can you give me some feedback? Like, can you share why?"

45:07 Because I always think feedback's a gift um usually. And uh he said, "Do you want me to be honest with you?" And I said, "Yes, please." And he said, "I just don't think women will buy makeup from someone who looks like you, you know, with your body and your weight." And when he said my body and my weight, I remember this moment where I looked I was looking at him and it was almost like I was watching his lips move in slow motion as these words were coming out. And I felt my whole body flood with like this lifetime of body doubt and self-doubt. And it was this moment where I was like I was staring my own fear like straight in the eye. And I knew I had to keep my faith bigger than it. I also knew in that moment deep down inside I had this feeling. And this is why it's so important that we do the work of learning to listen to our gut and listen and learning to trust ourselves because in that moment I had

46:01 no proof around me that this company would ever grow or become successful. And then I have this person in front of me that I saw as a visionary. I saw as someone who truly created stellar brands and he's telling me, "No one will buy makeup from someone who looks like me, my body and my weight." And I had this feeling deep down inside my gut in that moment that he's wrong. And I also knew if I was ever going to prove it, I would have to figure out how to believe that for myself. And and the other thing is in that moment, I didn't even get mad at him. I didn't I mean, of course, it hurt me. Um it hurt me and I had to learn we talk about volume. I had to learn how to turn down the volume on those words from being on the repeat button in my head over and over and over for years. But I also knew in that moment like he's passing on investing my company because the sole reason I want to create this

47:01 company. He's been impacted by the beauty industry his entire life and he's learned just like we've all have been taught you have to look a certain way to for to sell something, right? and and so he was just I don't want to say a victim but like a a byproduct of how what he's seen his whole life on television and in magazines. So it fueled me and this is part of why mindset is so important and why not slipping into that like wo is me victim kind of mindset. It was like oh no you know what this is a gift. This this is a setback right now. It really sucks. It like God I don't know how I'm going to pay the bills. I don't know how I'm going to keep the lights on. Like I started going to the Costco. I don't know if you have a Costco by you, but the Costco outdoor food stand where you get the dollar hot dogs. I was like, okay, God, I'm doing that and at least it tastes good. And I was like, what?

47:50 Like, how am I going to keep this business alive? That setback was a setup because it fueled me this deep deep deep why of like, oh, even this dude is impact like this dude in a business suit who has probably never bought a beauty product in his life is impacted the same way women are by the industry. And it it fueled me. And so I just I believe and really honestly the the reason I wrote this book and like I'm literally donating 100% of the proceeds of the book. The reason I wrote this book is because I believe all everything we've gone through, especially once we're through a lot of it, we learn like, oh wow, the next level of success is that it's not about us. like how can this how can how can my story your story everyone who's listening story actually be of service to other people when we actually have the courage to share it and for me um that's where I get my greatest joy and it's like the

49:00 the lessons and the stories in this book if if if this can save other people from making a lot of the mistakes I made uh and save them at least some nights and crying themselves to sleep at Right. But more importantly, help them on their journey of like believing themselves, trusting themselves, like knowing they're enoughs and and just deciding it's possible to step in to who they were born to be. Like that's to me that's everything. And so the season you're going through right now, okay, don't even get me started right now on your calling because first of all, um, you are magic and so many people listening right now will agree with me.

49:42 and everything you're going through right now is of course part of your own journey. But we all have the blessing of being able to listen to you and then actually have it fill us up and have us all of us together feel less alone when we're going through the same things. Do you know what I mean? And so even if it's hard right now or uncertain right now or so many people I mean this year has been packed with uncertainty, right? more than so many people have ever experienced. And I would never downplay how hard it's been on so many people ever. Um I would never wish it on on people ever. Uh what I know I through so many, you know, and and this book is so many personal hardships too, right? From adoption, uh surprise, you're adopted in your 20s, I found out in my 20s, to rejection to like all of these things personally right?

50:40 I just think that they're all part of our journey to make us strong enough to be able to carry the weight of our calling when we step into it.

50:51 Thank you. Something I love so much about you is how you are so willing to share and to open up and it's almost like you're this open book and you're trying to give value and you do give value to pretty much every single person who I'm sure like even comes across. I love so much about the story which we and this is in the book so we're not going to go too into it.

51:13 We've been talking about mindset all yes week and I hope it really helped you guys. I thought today mindset we would take on the allimportant mindset of what I call integration and mindset of integration means at the end of each day or the end of each win or the end of each week or the end of each month I'm going to integrate the lessons that I had about myself other people about the world. I'm going to integrate the learnings and the wins that I had into my identity into my psychology. Meaning allow myself to feel the learning. Allow myself to remind myself of the good things that happened.

51:56 You know, a lot of people have a gratitude practice and like, yeah, I'm happy about that. I'm grateful about that. It's like gratitude doesn't work unless it hits the heart and absorbs into the identity, right? Your courage only grows if every time you do something where you stepped up to your fears, you acknowledge that and you go,

52:13 "Yeah, good job, Jamie. Good job, Brendan." And a lot of people have strings of successes and they never get more confident. They get strings of successes. They never feel happier or more fulfilled.

52:25 And it's not because they're not achieving, it's that they're not achieving right in such that they're not integrating the success. You should feel, listen, every year of your life, you should feel more confident. Every year of your, like, if you go a whole year and you don't feel more confident, it's not because the Lord didn't give you challenges to grow from that year. It's not because you didn't absolutely have to get stronger to survive the other year. It's because you didn't take a moment throughout the year to integrate and go, "Oh, wow. I did that.

52:58 Good job." Yeah. Those little celebrations of wins, those little integrations of the successes is what I'm talking about. That's the mindset to integrate our learnings. Same thing if you're a jerk to your your your spouse or your team one day. If you don't integrate that at night that you acted inappropriately, well then guess what? The next day you're more likely to be a jerk again because you didn't integrate the lesson. I hope that helps people.

53:21 You know, on the topic of mindset, by the way, just to call out something you just said live that's so powerful. I don't want I don't want anyone to miss it. I mean, tiny detail in something you just said. Most people would say, "Oh, I've had hard times." That would be true. I'm stuck. That would be true. You just said it's not like the Lord didn't give you uh hard times to grow from this year. Just the just the way you said that is such a deeprooted mindset around when we have a struggle,

53:54 when we have a setback, when we're in the midst of a hard season, when things aren't going our way.

53:59 Who how many people let's just like really because because I need to grow in this area always, right? I'm always trying to grow in this area to think of it of it as oh wow, I'm having a setback given to me so I can grow stronger through the struggle. Like

54:13 that's it. It's a whole different way to think about it. But most people don't think about it. They think, "Oh, you know, it I just think that's so powerful just that one sentence you said." But then how to integrate it and how to say, "Wow, I got through that. Wow, good job. Wow." Right. And and and and for you to say too, just how many people even have victories or wins or losses but never uh feel fulfilled with them, right? How many people out there because I have been there. How many people live with us right now on Facebook and Instagram have you like kept striving for something, an achievement, an outcome, a goal, and then you get it and you're like, "Oh, like you thought all of a sudden, right, you'd be fulfilled and you're not." And I think I've done that so many times.

55:02 And I think that this is so powerful because if you don't have the integration piece, which is what you're talking about, you know, uh last night, Brendan, on that note, you what you shared just reminded me of something. So, whenever I'm super super stressed out, I either randomly surf real estate in random cities I'm never even going to move to on like realtor.com or Zillow. I'll just like look at homes, I don't know, or I'll read uh stories and quotes. And so last night I was so stressed out. I'm like, "All right, I started I started reading Oprah interviews online." And one thing she said that I want to share about integration that was so powerful that I read last night is she said, you know, like her life is so full because she practices gratitude, because she is grateful for everything. And she said that people say to her, "Okay, sure, Oprah, but you have everything to be grateful for, right? So, it's easy for

56:00 you to be grateful. You have everything to be grateful for. And she says, "No, I have everything to be grateful for because I'm grateful because I'm grateful every every day for everything. Everything's happened to be grateful for." And it's sort of a chicken and the egg kind of thing, right? And I thought that that was really profound and I think that it's super important. Um, I bring this up uh once before, Mel Robbins, who's a growth day coach. One of the things I'm so obsessed with that she's doing right now is this whole movement of high-fiving yourself every time you see yourself in the mirror. And I think it's so brilliant. I can't wait to talk to her about it even more. But it's carving this new grain almost of integration just of of being grateful for yourself, of celebrating yourself, of of of switching uh the whole neuroplasticity and the way grooves are carved, right? Most of us are are used

56:52 to looking in the mirror. And I'll just speak for for myself and for the millions of women I've now had the blessing of getting to know in the course of growing at Cosmetics. Most of us, by the way, I just saw It Cosmetics on here. I've never seen them on here before. So, there's a team millions of women uh part of it Cosmetics. I just saw them on here. Uh there's so many people part of this morning show, which is amazing. Uh but anyways, I've had this this gift of of of being able to talk with so many women over the years.

57:21 And here's what they all say. They say when they look in the mirror, the first thing they see is whatever it is they think is wrong. And my whole mission because of that, because of talking to so many women who say the same thing was like, okay, how can we look in the mirror and see everything that's right, which is everything, right? I am I am now able to look in the mirror, see my bright red rosacea, and think that's right. Like, I'm able to do that now, but it took a lot of hard work with mindset. And uh and back to the whole integration thing, you know, Brendan, what are your tips for everyone who's live with us right now on how do we take these wins or and a win might be I got through the day. A win might be I did not yell at my spouse today. A win might like there's so many different types of wins. A win doesn't have to be, oh, I just had a million-doll launch, right? A win could be like, wow, I did better today. But

58:16 how do we then integrate those around mindset so we start living and building a more fulfilling life?

58:25 Uh, great question and I love everything you just said by the way. So good. So good. This is why I love doing the show morning. I'm

58:33 like, you got some coffee in that mug? It is coffee. I promised after the event though, I promised Mel Robbins we would have wine. So, I might have my Growth Day Morning Show mug with some wine in it Monday night, but right now it's coffee.

58:47 I love it. So good. So good. I really believe that like anything else you want in your life, you don't get it unless you establish habits around it.

58:57 Yeah. There's nothing you will ever want in your life that you can't have more of if you establish a habit around it. And so if you want to have integration and more courage, more confidence, more joy, more fulfillment in your life, that's a practice. That's a habit. And so for me, everyone knows I use my high performance planner on the daily, on the weekly, and on the monthly. And we built prompts into it that make you examine your learning about yourself, other people, about the world. Make you examine what decisions could I have made that would have been better. Make you examine what went great. what you're grateful for, what you're thankful for, what you're looking forward to. Like developing mindset is a practice. It's like work.

59:40 If you want to finish your PowerPoint presentation, you have to sit in front of it and create it. If you want to be followed on the internet more, you have to sit in front of the cameras and talk and speak or post there. The the outcome is dictated by the practice. And the practice here is you need a time. You need that when do you do it? I do it on Sundays. Sunday's integration day. Sunday's like planning day. Sunday is reflection day. We call it in my world the Sunday review. Review. What did you learn? What did can you celebrate? What what what happened that was great? What are you looking forward to? And I know a lot of people go like h well I get there and you know I got nothing to celebrate because I think integration is just about wins or huge milestones like you were talking about, right? You you you get the big deal. The most important integrations of all time have nothing to do with your amazing ego. What it has to

1:00:31 do with what did you learn? What was provided to you by God or the universe this week to educate you to give you a new distinction? Because the reason more people aren't more confident as we talked about in growth day this month, confidence, this was confidence month for our members. So if you're not a member yet, go to growthday.com, become a full member. But our members, we've had the best coaches in the world talking about confidence. And many of them echoed the teaching that we've been putting out, you know, since 2001, which is the competencies confidence loop. When when you develop more competency, when you learn more, you're more confident. Well, the good news is when you learn more and you practice that, so you have integration and integrity.

1:01:16 Well, when you have integration, integrity, you feel good about self. your worth, your self-worth goes, hey, you know what? I'm learning here. I'm making new distinctions that gives you mastery and maturity. And then you're practicing it, which is in integrity, following your word and do working hard for the things that matter. And all of a sudden, your body goes, ah, I feel good. Your brain goes, I feel good about myself. And your self-worth grows because you did those very things. But it doesn't happen by accident. Accident.

1:01:44 Most people never even learned the word integration or the concept of integration until they're in therapy. And which is great. That's one great benefit of having a therapist or a great coach is to let you know you should be integrating what you are learning. Have you reflected? Have you thought about it? What's that distinction tell you about you now? What's that distinction tell you about what you want next? What's that new thing that you just did? How can you celebrate that so that you feel it and you're rewarded in your brain to keep going when it's hard?

1:02:09 These things are important, you know. So, uh, just to throw this idea out there, maybe everyone in the chat right now can just drop in one thing, one win they want to celebrate. Yes.

1:02:20 Or just one difficult thing they did well, they overcame. Maybe it's a struggle they got through yesterday. Maybe it's a hard time. Maybe maybe a friend said something that was hurtful and you wanted to just fire back, but you didn't. You just handled it in grace. That is a big win, right? It could be something small. It could be, "Oh, wow. I got through the day with homeschooling the kids and I didn't lose it. It could be, you know, it could be anything, but I think like getting in this this this pattern and I and I know I know it's so much more beautifully um uh structured out in the high performance planner and everything else, but even just even just starting it right now, I think this would be really fun too, just because a lot of people aren't in this habit. They haven't built this habit. They just get through the day, right? So even sharing one thing um that's a win that's a win from yesterday

1:03:11 or from this morning already right uh uh and sharing it and remember learning is a win that's the most important thing learning is a win

1:03:21 so that's why most people feel so discouraged they feel like well I'm not winning I'm not winning I'm like every new distinction that is a win knowing what not to do next time that's a win a failure is a win a new distinction a new learning and so when you can reorient Orient your mindset to, oh, these lessons are winning. I'm getting better. I'm getting smarter and wiser and more compassionate, more thoughtful, more ready for next time. Like, I'm getting stronger despite the struggle. But no, because of the struggle, it's good. It's like it's it's it's honing you. You are being prepared is a mindset I have.

1:03:56 I believe we are being prepared. I believe no one watching this, Jamie, myself, no one watching this, I don't believe any of you have met your calling yet.

1:04:07 We don't know what our ultimate destiny is. What hangs in the balance in the future for us, what God intends for us or what universe intends for us, what might happen. We we might not even know it. But our whole life and all the challenges and the frustrations were built for this singular moment that happened with Abraham Lincoln with all his failures. Loss, loss, loss, loss, loss that prepared him to have the empathy to literally be able to heal a nation.

1:04:35 Right? That happened with Church Hill. Loss, loss, struggle. Weird jobs throughout his entire career until he got in the admiral team. Weird ass jobs. Like what does this guy do? What is he about? And then World War II. All these experiences suddenly align for the perfect action leader to emerge. And you see that in history over and over and over and over again where you don't even know that all these things Oprah talks about her journey. She she did not know they would all come together in the way that they came together to make her ultimate difference even though she knew what her purpose and her passion was.

1:05:08 She could never have imagined the platform that she would be gifted. And so I just think it's so important for all of us to go, I'm being honed.

1:05:17 For all of us to go, I am in training. Yes. I am be I am being gifted with distinctions that are going to make me ready when the time is right.

1:05:27 And you might you don't know when that time is going to be. So I'm just here adopt a positive mindset. Be grateful for the lessons you're learning even if they're hard right now.

1:05:36 Yes. That's so good. I remember one of the things you just mentioned. I remember a moment when uh Oprah Winfrey said to my Angelo that, you know, she believes her legacy will be her talk show and the tens of thousands of people uh that she's had on the show and interviewed and the millions and millions of people worldwide that, you know, she's touched their lives through her talk show. And and she said that Maya said something back to her and she said, "You have no idea what your legacy will be." She said, "Your legacy will be every single life that you have touched in some way, and you have no idea yet what that legacy will be." And I think that's true of every single one of us.

1:06:16 Every single one of us watching live right now, you know, in in our own um in our own stage, in our own platform, in our own right. And and for some of us, our platform is uh our living room with uh the people we love and care about and how we're impacting their lives. For some of us, the platform is our our neighborhood and the neighbor that uh that we wave to every day, knowing like, "Oh, that's the only person that might wave to that person today." You know what I mean? For some of us, our platform is is part of our profession or part of our online community.

1:06:50 and and we have no idea what our legacy will be to use uh that story and those words from Maya and Oprah. I think that living in that mindset, right, we're being prepared, we're being honed, that's so powerful because then it's just a great reminder that we're when we're in the midst of the hard times and the hardship and the setbacks and the things that totally suck and the things that don't even feel fair at the time and we don't see that how there could possibly be a reason it's happening to us. But when we know that in the midst of that, oh, we're we're we're building a muscle of resiliency and of strength to be able to to to carry what's to come. I think that that's super super powerful.

1:07:30 I want to know what's the difference from this new book and your first book, Believe It, and what made you to decide to write another book?

1:07:39 Yeah. So, you know, thank you so much, by the way, for having me. I am excited for our time together. I just love you and love everything you're putting out into the world. And so I hope actually I don't hope I know this episode is going to bless so many people and uh and and hopefully be exactly what someone needs to hear today. Um so thank you for having me and yeah, believe it. Um and thank you for those kind words. Believe it. Uh my first book is really my story of kind of what you shared going going from Denny's waitress to billion-dollar entrepreneur and sort of like all the ups and downs and worthy is really the playbook on like how do you believe in you? So worthy is is uh over 20 tools like that you can apply to your life right now and how to build self-worth and and and build belief. And it's really this idea, Hannah, like for so much of my life, I mean, because it's it's and maybe you have you and I

1:08:38 probably share this in common that people can Google our stories and then they can read the highlight reel and then they see like they see all the things that people know us for. And so, you know, in my situation, so many people think like, "Oh, did she just get lucky? Did it just come easy? Was it a fairy tale? She went from waitressing to, you know, building, you know, a thousand plus person company? all the things and my real story is like a girl who like most of my life did not believe in myself and didn't believe I was enough and and and through learning how to uh is really how I even began to believe I was worthy of of of building a company or putting my ideas out there in the world.

1:09:23 So worthy is really for, you know, because right now as you and I are talking, um 80% of women don't believe they're enough. Uh 75% of female executives deal with imposttor syndrome and 91% of girls and women don't love their bodies. And so I really wrote worthy uh because the time for change has come. And when we, every person listening to us right now, when you fundamentally believe you're not enough, it is a lie. And it is time to unlearn that lie. And when you, you know, start to unlearn the lies that lead to self-doubt and then and then kind of ignite those truths that wake up worthiness in your life.

1:10:07 Like the moment you learn to believe you're worthy is the moment future and past generations of your family change. It's the moment where you know literally every area of of your life changes. So worthy is really a book about for every person who doubts they're enough. And sometimes we can be like crushing it in the world, accomplishing all this stuff. Everything can look so great, but deep down inside we feel alone and feeling like we're not enough. And this is a book about, you know, how to unlearn those lies, how to build unshakable self-worth. Um and it kind of all is based around this idea that I believe is is a truth which is uh that in life like we don't we don't in all areas of our life really we don't become what we want. We become what we believe we're worthy of and and we can have all of these goals and dreams but we we don't soar to the level of our goals and dreams. We stay stuck at the level of

1:11:05 our self-worth. Like our selfworth is our ceiling. And so, uh, I'm so passionate. I'm donating 100% of the proceeds from the book. I'm just so passionate about it because I think like I'm imagining, even talking with you live right now, I'm imagining like the like the number of, and this is for everybody. 73% of men feel inadequate and like they're not enough. But what fires me up so much is I think about every girl and woman who when we learn to believe are worthy like the unhealthy relationships that will end, the ideas that will be shared with the world, like the businesses that will be launched, the bodies that will be celebrated like for the miracle in motion that they are like I am so fired up about this and so excited. So um yeah, self-worths and and by the way selfworth is very different than self-confidence.

1:11:55 Um and and and and when we learn self-worth, it's just it's just the one thing that changes every single thing in our life. So that is why I wrote worthy for really for any person listening who has some self-doubt to destroy and a destiny to fulfill

1:12:13 which is all of us. I feel like it's so hard like have you ever met anybody that hasn't had to go on a real long journey to actually feel that worth? It feels like there's so many things that happen in our life and we believe these lies over and over. I know for myself, same thing you said, like it could look like I was at the top of the mountain and there have been moments where I've been really struggling with my worth and it's not really about those external things that those don't give you worth or happiness if you don't have it inside yourself. Um, and you said something, you write this in your book, and you you kind of mentioned it that you you write in your life, you don't soar to the level of your hopes and dreams, but you stay stuck at the level of your self-worth in your relationships, career, and ambitions.

1:13:04 You don't rise to what you believe is possible. You fall to what you believe you're worthy of. And I was just like, uh, right to the gut. Like, that is so true. And I want to know like, how did you come to this realization? And how have you seen this play out in your own life?

1:13:24 Yeah, I um it's so funny, Hannah, that sometimes um and I love that we have different experiences but kind of shared experiences.

1:13:32 Um sometimes it takes us accomplishing really cool stuff that the world tells us is like everything you could ever hope for to then realize, well, wait a minute, why do I still not feel enough even after accomplishing all that? And and for me it took um the bless so many of the blessings I work so hard to get to realize that there's such a huge difference between things that build self-confidence which is largely based on the external stuff and and things that actually build self-worth which is very different and um and and uh and just to kind of share this um for anyone listening maybe because for me most of my life I thought uh I thought that if I could just achieve leave enough uh or just make enough people happy and I was such a great people pleaser. If I could just, you know, all the things, especially if I could just achieve enough, then I would finally feel enough. And for anyone listening who

1:14:34 maybe has ever had like a goal or a dream and thought like once I finally get that thing, then I'll be happy. Then I'll feel fulfilled, then I'll feel enough. And for some people it might be um something in their career or getting a degree or getting married or getting six-pack abs or you know it could be any a certain number of followers on social media or fame or a number in their bank account you know or the married and the white picket fence and three kids. It's different for all of us, but like for everyone listening, if you've ever had that kind of goal and you and maybe you worked so hard to get it and you thought, you know, and think about something actually in your life right now right as we're talking um and you thought, "Oh, once I get that, then I'm going to feel enough then I'll be happy then all the things." And so for a lot of us, we work really hard to get that thing, you know, sometimes months,

1:15:31 years, or decades. And then we finally get it. And and and and for everyone listening, like imagine when that happens in your life. You finally get it. And then what happens? For a lot of us, we're happy for like a month or a few weeks or a few hours and before we know it, we're back to feeling like something's missing or like it's still not enough. And so then usually our solution is to work harder and to go the next thing and the next thing and all that. And going after your dreams is so important in life and and I am more I am harder working now Hannah than I've ever have been. Like I am so passionate. I'm so fired up. Uh but what I now know is when we're going after our dreams and our goals and and then we finally get to them that in that pursuit of them, we've built a lot of self-confidence, which is really important. We've been growing.

1:16:27 We're often contributing something beyond ourselves. But none of those things build self-worth. And none of the things that we want to accomplish and that we finally accomplish build self-worth. They all build a lot of confidence, but they don't build selfworth. which is why you still take you with you whatever you accomplish and self-con so many of us think and I did most of my life until literally three years ago self-confidence and self-worth are very very different and uh uh and understanding the difference literally this one thing can change your entire life this one thing can change your entire life because self-confidence is while it's an internal trait it's based so much on the external uh on and It's fragile and it fluctuates. And our self-confidence is is our own assessment of our skills and abilities. It's how we feel, we stack up and measure compared to others. It's our willingness to try

1:17:22 and go for it. It's how much of the world's definition of success we have. Um if we're winning or losing at any moment. And like studies show like the the boxer that wins the match is 30% more confident automatically. But our self-confidence is fragile and it fluctuates. Um, our self-worth is that deep internal knowing that we are fully worthy and enough and worthy of love and belonging exactly as we are, not as we achieve, not as our past mistakes or failures. Uh, and it's it's unwavering and and the two are very different. Like self-confidence is sort of like the house we build and of everything in our lives, but our self-worth is our foundation. And we can only ever be as strong and secure as that foundation underneath the house. And it's really um the one thing that that changes everything. And for you know for people that have and struggle with selfworth um maybe who are listening now and they're

1:18:24 like well how do I know if I am struggling with it? Self-worth when we struggle with it usually shows up in three ways. Um, and and Hannah, for me, like I was at the height of my success, having this incredible stuff happen in my life and I was still sabotaging stuff and still didn't feel like I was enough. And it took that for me to realize, oh wow, I've built a whole lot of confidence. I'm crushing it. All the stuff on the outside is so great, but deep down inside, I don't still feel like I'm enough. And when we have self-worth uh struggles, which is really why I wrote worthy uh uh to give tools on what to do about this, but what it looks like for for everyone listening is if we have low selfworth, um often it looks like we're we're stuck like we'll stay stuck uh in certain areas. So maybe like anyone who's like, "Oh, I I really want to have a partner in my life." But you don't know why you're not getting on

1:19:21 the dating app or why you're not going out there. Or it looks like, um, I have a book inside of me. I want to share my story with the world. And you don't know why. You haven't written the first word yet. Or it can look like, oh, I have, you know, fitness goals, but I'm just not ready to like start walking every day. Whatever it is, we stay stuck in in different areas. We don't apply for the job that we know we want or we don't register the domain for our business idea. like we stay stuck and we think we tell ourselves stories like oh once I get more experience then I'll or once I get more skills and really the underlying reason is we don't believe we're worthy of that thing and so we stay stuck and then think it's other things. Um so that's one way if you have low to medium selfworth what that looks like is you'll go for the thing like you'll you'll go after it but then you might sabotage it along the way. So, you

1:20:16 might start, you know, you might put yourself out there in the dating world and then you meet like a really great guy and you decide to put him in the friend zone and you decide you're not attracted to him and you don't know why. And you think it's because, oh, I want someone more edgy, more bad boy. But then deep down inside, we actually just don't. We We are attracted to what we're familiar with. We're attracted to to a reflection of how we feel we're our own worth. like the amount of the amount and depth of love we love ourselves is the limit of what we'll be attracted to and the amount of depth of love in in someone else. Um so we'll go for things but we'll sabotage them. We'll we'll build our business or ideas to a certain level and then we won't know why we hit a ceiling because our self-worth is our ceiling in every area of life. Uh, and then if you're someone that has like medium to high selfworth, but it's still

1:21:09 a challenge for you, what that looks like is you'll go after the thing, you'll accomplish it, you'll achieve it, you'll get the thing, but then when you arrive at it, you still feel like it's not enough and you still feel like you're not enough. Um, so that's really the three main ways that it that it shows up. And the the thing I want to say too, Hannah, like building self-worth and and believe learning to believe you're enough exactly as you are, it doesn't curb your ambition or any of that. It just makes you like actually more ambitious because you're not worried about, oh, if I fall flat on my face, if I embarrass myself, like, okay, it might shake my confidence a little bit, but it cannot touch my self-worth. So building that strong sense of selfworth, it just it impacts every area of our life and it allows us to get the things we want so badly and actually be happy and fulfilled um and

1:22:01 feel enough when we accomplish them. So it's really just that one thing that changes everything.

1:22:07 We are both on absolute launch mode, everybody. It's like we're launching growth day the brand. She's launching believe it. Her book comes out next month. Make sure you get it. Pre-order on Amazon or go to believe it.com. And um Jamie's really pushing hard, too. We are crushing. It's intense. It's focused. It's hard. It's exhausting. Who's cranking right now? Let us know down below. Who's cranking? Who's working? Who's launching? Jamie, it's hard. Huh?

1:22:35 So hard. And I was uh embarrassed to admit this to Brendan because he is like the master at high performance habits. But I was telling him that yesterday, you know, I did I had the blessing of doing this magazine shoot all day and uh and then video interviews, all the stuff for press, right? Because the book's coming out in a few weeks. I was so And then and then you know, if you've ever had a long day, maybe you have like a long day of Zooms, right? And then for the first time at the end of a full day, you feel like, oh wow, now I get to see my emails and all the things I'm so behind. It was one of those days and I was embarrassed to sh to share this with Brendan, but listen, it's the Growth Day Morning Show and we're keeping it real.

1:23:16 I was so tired and I literally decided instead of sleeping, this somehow made sense at the time. Maybe someone else out there will feel me right now, but I was like, I'm not going to go to sleep. I'm going to watch The Bachelor and I'm and I'm going to order food delivered that's not healthy. I'm like, what am I doing? This is not a high performance habit. I was so tired that somehow

1:23:41 you were decompressing. Well, I don't know. I don't know that it was the right decision because this morning I got up trying to do my morning routine and I went walking and I'm like, why am I dragging? Like I feel like I'm dragging. I'm like, "Oh yeah, instead of sleeping, instead of eating really healthy food that nourishes my cells and my body." And I literally watched The Bachelor last night after a full 20our day.

1:24:09 Yeah. 20our day of exhaustion. So, you know, well, nothing like The Bachelor to turn your brain off. We all need to do it sometime.

1:24:16 Listen, I I I got no judgment to it. Denise, my wife, she loves that show, too. And I'm just like some like good thing about television or entertainment is it's an escape from the day. It can activate a different part of your brain. Turn off another side of it. Take take you from creator, strategizer, builder, you know, manifesttor into consumer. Like just consuming something, it just it turns it literally shifts the brain waves a little bit into more of a passive state. And sometimes that can be good. Um, it lowers it just kind of lowers it down a little bit in terms of the strategic thinking. Um, another another option if you do want to highlight habits. Some of you have huge projects due this week, next week, you've got quarter, you know, results you're charging towards for this year as we kicking it off. A lot of you are doing rebrands, launching new things. I know you're super busy. It's super super

1:25:07 difficult. Uh, Jamie and I were talking um I call it a launch window um officially. Sometimes I call it a hot mess, but it's those times when you were going for like two, three weeks, just so intense or two, three months. I mean, super intense, super focused. And once one I was telling Jamie, my routine is so I get my morning routine in. I get some, you know, get some food. I basically work all day. I take a, you know, my 50 minute, every 50 minutes, I take a break, stand up, deep breaths, close my eyes, that kind of thing. Then I also basically work straight till dinner. Then we have dinner. And if I'm in launch mode, then it's from dinner till, you know, near bedtime. I'm working. But one secret to wind myself down. Um, if I need to is go, and this is so human, and many of you probably have never even tried this, go walk at night. Go let the dark come in on you.

1:26:07 Let the evening sound and air penetrate your spirit and like your body just goes, "Oh, you know, you're you're not in fluorescent lights anymore or or LED lights and everything just kind of, you know, simple like one mile walk, you know, at the at at night with no phone unless you need it for safety, but for real." And so it's like just go walk, come home, you know, close your eyes, maybe put a heat pad on your neck and sit on the couch or just two, three minutes or lay on the floor for two, three minutes and just let it all shut down, then go to bed. And that will help a deeper evening sleep, but it also isn't as frenetic because we know television also causes a lot of anxiety and drama. Um the biggest study in psychology ever been done on television is that it creates a low level of stress. So

1:27:00 all the drama. So you still you're still creating a little stress. So now your sleep rhythm isn't as good even though you might feel tired. Um but you'd feel tired anyway. You had a huge day yesterday. Uh anyone who's ever done interviews before or been on the phone all day and then you like she said you come back to your emails. So how did you handle it? Like when you woke up this morning, how do you think about all those emails and you're way behind on work? What do you do?

1:27:22 Yeah. Um, for me, I'm, you know, trying to make the big things the big things, right? And so, it's it's, you know, I love that you call it launch mode and and, you know, and so many people commenting right now. I love this so much. Everyone's live together, right? The growth morning show on Facebook and Instagram and reading what you guys are doing. And maybe you're not doing a launch. Maybe you're actually just starting a dream or you're ideulating a dream, right? I know a lot of you have been DMing me on Instagram saying, "Hey, I I'm starting my book. I'm starting to write my story. I'm starting to share my story. And you know, I found Brendan that this has ramped up so big so fast.

1:27:58 So what I'm doing is I'm saying, okay, in my own, you know, my own mind, I'm compartmentalizing a little bit. I'm getting better at carving out time. So I have a little a time window today on my on my calendar actually for email responses. I normally don't slot times like that. I know you do. You're so good about that. Um, and I'm trying to make the big things the big things. And so today, uh, it's the first time ever I'm doing a, um, an insider group for my book launch. And so anyone who pre,

1:28:26 yeah, anyone who pre-orders the book can join this insider group for free. We're just doing it for the next couple weeks, just through the book launch, but I'm going live today to actually read the introduction from the book and then everyone who joins gets a copy of the book early before it launches. And so I've never done anything like this uh, before, ever. Right? When we built It Cosmetics, like we have over 7 million customers in the US and we built this amazing movement and it was really fueled and continues to be fueled uh uh my customers all coming together and uh and you know I did a lot of QVC and things like that but I've never created a community where I went live into it and things like that. So, the growth day morning show is just so much fun and super honored to be a part of it. And then as part of the book launch, I'm doing that insider um which

1:29:10 can find out about this insider thing. Oh, yeah. Oh, um so believe it.comteam um or it's right on my Instagram. The link is right on the top and yeah, anyone can join it and it's super fun. Uh but today kicks that off and it's it's a whole new thing and for me

1:29:26 building community now like purposely for a specific launch coming up which is cool.

1:29:30 Yeah. And and it's like I read everyone's stories just like I read everyone's comments right here. Um and it's it's the one it's it's the big thing. I feel like anybody who's spending their precious time with us, who's like-minded, who wants to grow, who wants to serve, who wants to, you know, that's the big thing. So I'm like, okay, all these legal emails and you because there's all the not fun stuff about a launch, right? Or anyone down here commenting about their dream they're starting

1:29:56 paperwork. Who's tired of the paperwork? I'm drowning in paperwork and docuigns 24/7 for I don't know like 10 years. It's just it's part of it. It's the thing they don't talk about when you guys are all chasing a dream. There is the suck. There is the administrative thing unless you love that part. There's the coordination thing. Jaime's got an event coming up and I was I was kind of teasing like I I get it. Like we used we used to do eight of these a year. Now with growth day, we're going live with new teachers for you every week practically starting in February. And so guess think about that. It's like all the coordination to like schedule that teacher, get them on the internet, go live, send out the emails, send out the notifications, send out the texts and that's just one person. Like that's all month long. And so guys, it takes a lot of coordination. And I always say, don't let the admin or the coordination

1:30:53 steal your fire for your dream. Yeah. No. I always tell people, would you still chase your dream if you knew 50% of the time you're doing menial tasks?

1:31:05 So true. Crap coordination, a million emails. You still want your dream. 50% of the time chasing and living the dream kind of sucks. Would you still you love it that much? That means you have to love it 150%. You know,

1:31:22 you know what? Uh you know and and two things on that. One about all the growth day coaches that are coming in live. I am so excited about this and just to share personally, I don't know if I could have gotten through the last six weeks especially, but but maybe even six months without how brilliant some of the other growth day coaches are and then literally me having the blessing of getting some of their advice. I mean, it's it's it's been and you know, these are people that all get offered $100,000 to give a one-hour keynote as you do all the time, Brandon. And the fact that you're getting them all together that everybody is gonna get I mean for their a dollar a day everyone's gonna get them coaching them and be able to go live with them right that's so different than going out there and watching a video somewhere to be part of something where you can interact live is so revolutionary but also just you know

1:32:14 you've spent decades building these relationships with like the the smartest thought leaders out there and so they obviously trust you and they're all coming together as part of growth day. I think that's so special and I'm excited not just to not just to be in there serving and all together, but also to be, you know, I'm a life lifelong student and um and and one other thought to share on what what you were just saying about how so so many of us want to create and we have a dream and we want to start this or we're doing that or we're launching a course because we want to serve other people, whatever it is, right? But then you have that other half of it. I saw um one of our mutual friends uh Danielle Kenty from Boss Babes was was posting talking about how

1:32:58 if she does uh uh the admin stuff she literally can't create for at least two hours. So she has to divide up her day

1:33:08 block time. Yes. Block time. And I wanted to ask you about that because you know so many of us have these things we want to do and yet there's everything else that comes with it. And it is I've found I found that you know for me it just it's rapid fire all day. There are so many things as you know the bigger you build your dream and maybe

1:33:30 you know I I'm have author on my head right so because so many people are DMing me their stories about writing their stories. We had um sharing videos, launching things, launching businesses. I love that when we go live for you all and you tell us what you're working on.

1:33:45 I mean, I love when you cheer us on in the comments and I appreciate that. But I also love when you share what you're working on because we can see it. We see your questions. It's helping us make this better and we really need your help with that. So, any comments or what you're working on is awesome. But

1:33:56 ladies and gentlemen, rock this house. So, welcome to the stage K Lima. Baby K limo.

1:34:08 Every single one of us has had someone tell us we're not enough. Every single one of us has had someone say words to us that

Questions about this episode

What is discussed in "How to Know Who Belongs in Your Life | Jamie Kern Lima"?

In order: 0:00 Inner circle, Outer circle, Self-Worth, Boundaries; 10:00 Self-Worth, Identity, Self-confidence, Worthybook.com; 20:00 Barbara Walters, Growth Day Morning Show, Personal growth / Growth, Instagram; 30:00 Self-doubt, Instagram, IT Cosmetics; 40:00 Costco, IT Cosmetics, Self-doubt; 50:00 Identity, Gratitude practice, Growth Day Morning Show, High Performance Planner; 1:00:00 Self-Worth, Abraham Lincoln, Denny's, GrowthDay; 1:10:00 Self-Worth, Self-confidence, Self-doubt; 1:20:00 Growth Day Morning Show, Instagram, Self-Worth, The Bachelor; 1:30:00 Block time.

What is mentioned in this Jamie Kern Lima episode?

77 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Self-Worth, Self-doubt, Self-confidence, Inner circle, Identity, Instagram. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "How to Know Who Belongs in Your Life | Jamie Kern Lima"?

The episode runs 1 h 34 min; the transcript is about 17,957 words in 155 timestamped sections.

More from Jamie Kern Lima

• All analyzed episodes
• Books mentioned on Jamie Kern Lima
• People mentioned on Jamie Kern Lima
• Sponsors mentioned on Jamie Kern Lima
• Topics mentioned on Jamie Kern Lima