John R. Miles: The Wake-Up Call He Could Not Ignore | Mick Unplugged

What this episode is about

A blunt, personal turning point is revealed: after a devastating divorce and a home burglary that exposed him to danger, the guest describes a core moment of awakening that reshaped his priorities, identity, and relentless drive to matter. The talk centers on trust, psychological safety, and the pivotal experiences that push a person toward higher levels of performance and purpose.

Key takeaways

• Trust and safety unlock daring creativity; without psychological safety, bold ideas stall before the room even begins.
• Resilience isn’t a trait; it’s a practiced routine of self-auditing, learning, and choosing-growth over comfort.
• The deepest pivots often arrive after shock; your relapse into purpose can precede unshakable clarity and impact.
• Self-research is counterintuitive self-help: honest data about you illuminates paths others won’t see.
• Great leaders don’t pretend perfection; they model accountability, then invite others to do the same.

Who speaks in this episode?

• John Miles (Host) · 9 min speaking
• Mick (Mick Unplugged) (Host) · 3 min speaking

What is discussed, and when

1. 0:00 – 3:00: military justice, Psychological Safety, Fortune 100
2. 3:00 – 6:00: Passion Struck, Self-Research, military justice, Cornell University
3. 6:00 – 9:00: Self-Research, Mick Hunt, Mattering Loop, Emotional Intelligence
4. 9:00 – 12:00: The Bible, LinkedIn, Mick Hunt, Passion Struck
5. 12:00 – 12:29: John R. Miles, Mick Hunt

Notable quotes from "John R. Miles: The Wake-Up Call He Could Not Ignore | Mick Unplugged"

• So important, psychological safety. I just did a entire keynote on that for Fortune 100 company.

  about Psychological Safety · at 0:18

• And man, it's like your life flashes before you. And unfortunately, I had the military training. So, I was able in that moment I had a quick split second to decide, am I going to rush up the stairs and try to.

  about military justice · at 3:51

• What led to me writing Passion Struck was Passion Struck, people haven't read it, are 12 principles that I used to build back my life by doing me-search on myself.

  about Passion Struck · at 5:15

• 90% of the people would tell you that they're very self-aware, but only 10% really are, right?

  about Emotional Intelligence · at 7:00

• Well, Mick, one of the things that I discovered while writing this book is that we've all heard that it's the tiny choices that matter.

  about Mick Hunt · at 7:47

• And I opened the Bible up and Mick, the first thing I read was basically this line that said I don't want you to worry.

  about The Bible · at 9:31

• Just because this conversation is touching me so much and those that listen and watch the show know that anytime that there is an amazing conversation, an amazing book, I like to.

  about John R. Miles · at 10:34

• And I'm going to send the first 40 people. So, I'm going to go the first 20 on LinkedIn, the first 20 on Instagram. Got to tag us as you DM me.

  about LinkedIn · at 11:22

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

• Mick Hunt — Person · Host · 3 mentions · first at 7:47
  Episode host guiding the conversation, connecting John's story to leadership lessons and offering to gift copies of the book to listeners.
• John R. Miles — Person · Main guest · 1 mention · first at 12:20
  Primary interviewee sharing his personal wake-up story, frameworks (Passion Struck, mattering loop) and mission to help others live intentionally.
• Tom Gilovich — Person · Referenced expert · 1 mention · first at 5:36
  Cited by John for research about common end-of-life regrets (not allowing oneself to become their ideal self).
  Of he has examined have the same regret, and that is the regret for not allowing themselves to make the choice to become their ideal self. Man, and that was the moment I made the choice that I was going to live my life.
• Marshall Goldsmith — Person · Referenced expert · 1 mention · first at 8:36
  Quoted by John to reference the idea of living an 'earned life,' connecting to the episode's themes of aligned living and purpose.
  To live by your values and your aspirations and your ambitions and man, to live what Marshall Goldsmith calls the earned life.

Books & papers

• Passion Struck — Book · Primary recommendation · 2 mentions · first at 5:15
  John's book containing 12 principles he used to rebuild his life; central resource referenced and promoted during the episode.
• The Bible — Book · Referenced work · 3 mentions · first at 8:47
  John references his Bible as a treasured source of guidance; a passage provided comfort and reinforced his mission after his friend's suicide.
• The Mattering Effect — Book · Referenced work / Related project · 2 mentions · first at 8:03
  Referenced as part of John's work and mission (title appears in episode context and episode links).
  And each since you're talking about self each self-honoring choice that you make strengthens the belief.
• How to Be a Good Leader When You've Never Had One — Book · Referenced work (host book) · 3 mentions · first at 0:02
  Mick's book is mentioned in episode metadata (show notes) as a resource the host has authored — establishes host credibility on leadership topics.
  Buy Mick's book, How to Be a Good Leader When You've Never Had One.

Companies & orgs

• LinkedIn — Company · Call-to-action platform · 2 mentions · first at 11:06
  Mick instructs listeners to message him on LinkedIn (one of the platforms used for the book giveaway call-to-action).
• Instagram — Company · Call-to-action platform · 1 mention · first at 11:10
  Used alongside LinkedIn for the giveaway; listeners are asked to DM and tag both Mick and John on Instagram.
  The first 20 people that message me on LinkedIn or Instagram.
• Cornell University — Company · Affiliation of referenced researcher · 1 mention · first at 5:36
  Mentioned as the institution affiliated with Tom Gilovich whose research John cites on end-of-life regret.
  Of he has examined have the same regret, and that is the regret for not allowing themselves to make the choice to become their ideal self. Man, and that was the moment I made the choice that I was going to live my life.
• Fortune 100 — Company · Referenced audience / client type · 1 mention · first at 0:15
  Used by Mick to reference the scale of a keynote audience he delivered on psychological safety, illustrating his leadership credibility.
  So important, psychological safety. I just did a entire keynote on that for Fortune 100 company.

Concepts & topics

• Mattering Loop — Concept · Framework / Key argument · 1 mention · first at 8:03
  John's concept describing how self-honoring choices strengthen belief that choices matter, fueling further aligned action and identity.
  But what I discovered is that there's actually a mattering loop.
• Self-Research — Concept · Framework / Practice · 3 mentions · first at 5:25
  Described by John as 'me-search' or self-research — the process he used to rebuild his life and the foundation of his book's principles.
  Has been very purposeful. I do feel like I have made and will continue to make impact. I still need to do that self-research on me because there could be something I'm leaving on the table.
• Emotional Intelligence — Concept · Core topic / Lens · 1 mention · first at 6:57
  Referenced by Mick to highlight the importance of true self-awareness versus perceived self-awareness in leadership and personal growth.
• military justice — Concept · Background / Skill source · 2 mentions · first at 2:18
  John references his military training as the reason he made a quick, survival-focused decision during a home invasion.
• Psychological Safety — Concept · Leadership concept referenced · 1 mention · first at 0:15
  Mentioned by Mick as part of the broader leadership themes and in reference to a keynote he delivered; ties to trust and team dynamics discussed earlier.
• Earned Life — Concept · Philosophical reference · 1 mention · first at 8:36
  Used to frame the desired outcome of living according to values and deliberate choices — tied to Marshall Goldsmith's idea referenced by John.
  To live by your values and your aspirations and your ambitions and man, to live what Marshall Goldsmith calls the earned life.

Full transcript with timestamps

0:02 Wow, you just gave me like an amazing lesson. Man, like cuz there are a couple of things in the acronym. You talk about trust. So important, psychological safety. You know, I just did a entire keynote on that for Fortune 100 company. And how you just eloquently put all of that together, dude. Like it's It's what makes you who you are. It's why you are who you are. And it's why I'm going to say this. It's why you matter, man. Like that's why your Miles matters because that's you. That's all you. And it it brings me to a question that I have. And in this segment, I quickly call it the room. And it's one of those things where it's like, was there a Was there ever a moment where there was a meeting, a dinner, a conversation you had with someone that sparked this in you?

1:03 Like I know internally, right, you decided to look at the man in the mirror. But was there a conversation? Was there a room? Was there a meeting that propelled you to a even higher level?

1:18 Nick, there were there there wasn't really a a conversation. Um there was a gun. So, uh about uh 9 years ago, I was in the middle of uh the this just terrible divorce. And um man, things were were as low as I thought low could possibly get. And this this my my son at this point had gone off to college. Um and my daughter [clears throat] is in middle school. And I had just dropped her off at school, and at this point in time um I would I had this schedule that after I would drop her off, I would I would go by the gym, and it just so happened this day the gym had some kind of electrical fire.

2:10 So, fire engines were there when I showed up. So, instead of being able to go and work out, I had to drive home. And I should have known better from my time at the military that I was doing the same pattern too much. And unfortunately, at this point in time a couple people were watching my pattern and had picked that exact moment to rob me. So, I walk into my home at the exact time a burglary is going on. And I I saw the work shoes when I went into my house, but at the time cuz I had uh I had given um my my spouse about 90% of of everything that I had made um to close out the divorce. So, I I didn't have enough money make at this point in time to even buy a house. So, I was I was renting.

3:08 And uh it turns out that the the manager of the rental company was the person had been canvassing my house, and he was the person robbing me. So, I go up the stairs thinking he's he or she whoever this person is who I who I just figured was from the rental company had their headphones in and couldn't hear me. And as I'm charging up the stairs, dude, I can I can hear the accelerated breathing, and I'm like I had enough momentum that I couldn't stop myself, and I turned the corner, and there he is at the top of the stairs pointing my own handgun back at me.

3:51 And man, it's like your life flashes before you. And unfortunately, I had the military training. So, I was able in that moment I had a quick split second to decide, am I going to rush up the stairs and try to take him down? And he was a much bigger guy than me. Plus, he was commanding the high ground. Or was I going to evade him? And I decided I was going to evade him, live to fight another day. So, I I successfully get out of the situation. And then dude, 3 days later, the one person in my life, my best friend, the guy who I could call 2:00 in the morning, 5:00 a.m. in the morning, and he would come there in an in a heartbeat, commit suicide.

4:45 And at this point in time, you know, I had been given this because that I talked to you about. And I had been resisting it with every strength that I had in my bones because it was so foreign to anything I had done before it. And this was my wake-up call. Like, John, what are you waiting for? And I have to say, like, after that point in time, it like didn't come overnight. It took me 2 years of figuring it out. And that's what led to me writing Passion Struck was like, Passion Struck, uh, people haven't read it, um, are 12 principles that I used to build back my life by doing me-search on myself.

5:28 Um, but that was the start of it was those two events. Um, I And it really made me realize, um, there's this professor Cornell, Tom Gilovich, whose work on people in the third trimester of their life has found that 76% of he has examined have the same regret, and that is the regret for not allowing themselves to make the choice to become their ideal self. Man, and that was the moment I made the choice that I was going to live my life differently, and I was going to solve that question and start helping people live their life differently.

6:10 So, if there's anything that I hope to do with the rest of the days that I have on Earth, it's to help people not become the 76% who go on their deathbed looking back and wondering what the heck did I do with my life?

6:29 Bro, you've done nothing but give me chills this entire conversation, man. Like I knew the story of the burglary. I did not know the story of your best friend, and to know that that happened within 72 hours of each other, man. Like the the self-resiliency that you have, the self-awareness that you have, and you know this, right? Like we both talk about emotional intelligence. 90% of the people would tell you that they're very self-aware, but only 10% really are, right? And you again take that a step further by talking about the self-auditor, the self-research, which is now something I'm going to do.

7:14 Like you've given me something to start this weekend because I'm sitting here listening to you say all this, and I'm like dog on it, he's right. Like and while yeah, I do think that my life has been very purposeful. I do feel like I have made and will continue to make impact. I still need to do that self-research on me because there could be something I'm leaving on the table. So, bro, like you you gave me something to do and I love that.

7:47 Well, Mick, one of the things that I I discovered while writing this book is that we've all heard that it's the tiny choices that matter.

8:00 Mhm. But what I discovered is that there's actually a mattering loop. And each since you're talking about self each self-honoring choice that you make strengthens the belief that your choices matter. And the more your choices matter the more you believe in yourself, the more you're willing to take off the mask, the willing the more you become willing to live by your values and your aspirations and your ambitions and man, to to to live what Marshall Goldsmith calls the earned life. It isn't It isn't that what it's all about. And I I have to tell you I I I started this conversation talking about the Bible.

8:49 Man, my Bible was my prized possession. I had decades of notes in in my my Bible. It was like every time I heard a sermon that that resonated with me, I would take notes from the pastor talking and I would underline it and uh my house got flooded 2 years ago and the Bible that I had spent so many years writing in was destroyed. And um I have to tell you um after my friend's suicide, I I man, I was just like on my knees one day and just in tears and in like agony. And I opened the Bible up and Mick, the first thing I read was was basically this line that said "I don't want you to worry.

9:46 I've got you. And you're Let me guide your life to do something that will impact so many people. And And I just like looked at that moment and said, "I'm just going to devote my life to trusting in this moment." And that's what I've done through, you know, losing everything in floods and everything else that's happened, I just keep focused on like like this mission matters so much um that that's what gives me the strength to keep going through the ups and downs that, you know, this entrepreneurial journey and this life journey uh brings to us.

10:30 Amen, brother. Amen. And here's what I want [clears throat] to do. Um Just because this this conversation is touching me so much and and those that listen and watch the show know that anytime that there is an amazing conversation, an amazing book, I like to make sure that I show my love back. So, here's what I want to do, John. And I'm going to have John's social media links to his website. We're going to get to all that in a second, too, but I'm going to have all that in the show notes and description. Here's what I want.

11:02 The first 20 people that message me on LinkedIn or Instagram. But you have to tag John and I, too. So, you got to message me and you got to @john. Um I'm going to buy 40 copies of the book.

11:21 Oh, man. Thank you. And I'm going to send the first 40 people. So, I'm going to go the first 20 on LinkedIn, the first 20 on Instagram. Got to tag us as you DM me. But going to send you a copy of the book and then I'm going to need you the person on the other side, the the listener, the viewer, the the people that get this book after you've read it, I need you to come back and tell us what you picked up, what what you've implemented or the first thing you were going to implement is because this is what I know about John.

11:57 His book's going to give you a framework. His book's going to lay out a really good path. But John can't make you do it. Mick can't make you do it. You've got to take those first steps, but I promise you John's going to lay out every step that you need to take because if you know John, that's what he does and he does it really, really well. So, John, I want to do that if you will allow me to do that.

12:20 Man, Mick, that that is huge. Thank you.

Questions about this episode

Who speaks in "John R. Miles: The Wake-Up Call He Could Not Ignore | Mick Unplugged"?

John Miles (Host), Mick (Mick Unplugged) (Host).

What is "John R. Miles: The Wake-Up Call He Could Not Ignore | Mick Unplugged" about?

A blunt, personal turning point is revealed: after a devastating divorce and a home burglary that exposed him to danger, the guest describes a core moment of awakening that reshaped his priorities, identity, and relentless drive to matter. The talk centers on trust, psychological safety, and the pivotal experiences that push a person toward higher levels of performance and purpose.

What is mentioned in this Mick Unplugged Podcast episode?

18 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Mick Hunt, John R. Miles, Passion Struck, Mattering Loop, Self-Research, The Bible. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "John R. Miles: The Wake-Up Call He Could Not Ignore | Mick Unplugged"?

The episode runs 12 min; the transcript is about 1,888 words in 20 timestamped sections.

More from Mick Unplugged Podcast

• All analyzed episodes
• Books mentioned on Mick Unplugged Podcast
• People mentioned on Mick Unplugged Podcast
• Sponsors mentioned on Mick Unplugged Podcast
• Topics mentioned on Mick Unplugged Podcast