Transcript

Dustin Hoffman Part I (Full Episode) | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend

From Team Coco · Episode page · Watch on YouTube

· 1 h 7 min · 13,220 words · 336 timestamped sections

This is the full, timestamped transcript of "Dustin Hoffman Part I (Full Episode) | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend", an episode of Team Coco published November 9, 2026 (1 h 7 min, about 13,220 words). It mentions 76 people, works and ideas, including Dustin Hoffman, Conan O'Brien, Look at Me, Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend, The Graduate.

What this episode is about

Dustin Hoffman engages in a humorous, meta-conversational bit with Conan O'Brien about friendship and miscommunication, featuring playful banter with impersonations and anecdotes, including a Vegas trip and teasing about a friend’s reactions. The segment showcases Conan’s comedic chemistry with his guests and hosts a lighthearted exchange.

Key takeaways

  • Conan’s riffs on mistaken identity double as a study in urgency: people crave authenticity, not perfect recall.
  • Vegas-New Kids crossover reveals how nostalgia fuels group cohesion—friends bond over shared old obsessions, not new hobbies.
  • Self-deprecating humor about being a bad boy band recruit lands sharper than braggy SNL anecdotes; humility sells.
  • Veronica-as-punchline underscores how minor tensions can illuminate a friend group’s dynamics more than grand confessions.
  • The segment turns a routine interview into a live sociology sketch: celebrity, fandom, and ordinary silliness collide.

Who speaks in this episode?

What is discussed, and when

  1. – 10:00: Conan O'Brien, Dustin Hoffman, New Kids on the Block, Look at Me
  2. – 20:00: Dustin Hoffman, Tootsie, Mike Nichols, The Graduate
  3. – 30:00: Mike Nichols, The Graduate, LifeLock, Robert Redford
  4. – 40:00: The Graduate, Macy's, Dustin Hoffman, Look at Me
  5. – 50:00: The Graduate, John Schlesinger, Mike Nichols, New York, New York
  6. – 1:00:00: Laurence Olivier, Hyundai, Dustin Hoffman, John Schlesinger
  7. – 1:07:18: Late Night, NBC, Eisenhower Mug, General Dwight D. Eisenhower

Notable quotes from "Dustin Hoffman Part I (Full Episode) | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend"

  • Hello and welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend, joined by Sona Movsesian.
    about Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend · at
  • Yeah. My guest today is a Hollywood legend who has starred in such iconic movies as The Graduate, Rain Man, and Tootsie, just to name a small percentage.
    about Dustin Hoffman · at
  • You start this book by proving one of my theories, which is you were cast It's your big break.
    about Look at Me · at
  • Mike Nichols sees you. That's what gets you The Graduate. The thing that happened that you thought was the end of your career was.
    about Mike Nichols · at
  • You say in this book that during the most memorable scenes in The Graduate, which are, all enshrined in the American Film Institute, in those great scenes,.
    about The Graduate · at
  • So you have to convince John Schlesinger and again, just like you at Macy's, you decide I'm going to become Ratso Rizzo and convince this director.
    about Midnight Cowboy · at
  • There's a story in here of you making Marathon Man with Sir Laurence Olivier.
    about Laurence Olivier · at
  • I put a lot of thought into my all my desks that I had over the years on the talk shows. ash I would always insist on ash, and then I would use birch.
    about Late Night · at

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

  • Dustin Hoffman — Person · Main guest · 10 mentions · first at
    Featured interview subject; discusses his memoir Look at Me, early career anecdotes, acting process, and working with other major figures in film.
  • Conan O'Brien — Person · Host · 4 mentions · first at
    Primary host of the podcast episode; conducts the interview and leads discussion, provides anecdotes and moderates sponsor reads and listener voicemail segment.
    Yeah. My guest today is a Hollywood legend who has starred in such iconic movies as The Graduate, Rain Man, and Tootsie, just to name a small percentage.
  • Mike Nichols — Person · Referenced collaborator/director · 7 mentions · first at
    Director who cast Dustin Hoffman in The Graduate; discussed regarding casting decisions and behavior during filming.
  • Sona Movsesian — Person · Co-host / Sidekick · 3 mentions · first at
    Regular co-host on the podcast; participates in conversation, shares personal anecdotes, and interacts with Conan and guest.
    So, three of my best friends and I went to Vegas this past weekend and we met New Kids on the Block.
  • Laurence Olivier — Person · Referenced collaborator · 3 mentions · first at
    Discussed in context of Marathon Man; Hoffman recounts Olivier's ill health during filming and their interaction when Hoffman subtly helped with lines.
  • John Schlesinger — Person · Referenced director · 4 mentions · first at
    Director of Midnight Cowboy; discussed regarding financing concerns and casting decisions for Ratso Rizzo.
    In Midnight Cowboy. John Schlesinger, the director, was going to make the movie Midnight Cowboy. he needed to get financing.
  • Matt Gourley — Person · Co-host · 2 mentions · first at
    Regular podcast co-host who participates in the episode's conversation alongside Conan and Sona.
    And I am the aforementioned Conan O'Brien.
  • Ariel Levy — Person · Co-writer / collaborator · 1 mention · first at
    Acknowledged by Dustin Hoffman as the co-writer who helped him shape his memoir Look at Me and aided memory recall during the writing process.
    The first thing I'd like to say is there is a woman who is a co-writer of mine and if she wasn't there for me, this would never have happened. I [clears throat] have written.
  • New Kids on the Block — Person · Referenced musical act · 3 mentions · first at
    Mentioned in Sona's anecdote about meeting them in Las Vegas; used to set up lighthearted conversation and fandom stories.
    So, three of my best friends and I went to Vegas this past weekend and we met New Kids on the Block.
  • Andy Richter — Person · Referenced late-night sidekick (contextual) · 3 mentions · first at
    Referenced in discussion about late night show desks and bits (mentions of Andy in relation to bits where Conan and Andy drive the desk via green screen).
    There were several. There was a thing that you could do at the NBC store for years and years cuz Andy and I would do a bit where we would get behind my desk and using green screen, we would have all these adventures driving around.
  • Robert Redford — Person · Referenced actor (casting alternative) · 2 mentions · first at
    Mentioned as the originally considered actor for Benjamin Braddock; used to illustrate industry expectations about the role.
    Iconic they don't realize that the book initially Benjamin Braddock is blonde blue-eyed he should be played by a Robert Redford.
  • Donnie Wahlberg — Person · Referenced celebrity · 2 mentions · first at
    Mentioned in relation to New Kids on the Block and as actor in Band of Brothers; used in Sona/Conan banter.
    Donnie Wahlberg was in Band of Brothers. He played Sergeant Carwood Lipton and he's like the emotional center of that thing.
  • David Spade — Person · Referenced celebrity · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned during an anecdote about attending a bat mitzvah where David Spade's mother was present and interacting with Dustin Hoffman.
    And David Spade's mother is so thrilled that you were sitting across the table and she says to me, That's Dustin Hoffman, Conan. That's Dustin Hoffman.
  • Robert Duvall — Person · Referenced peer / former roommate (anecdote) · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as another actor who lived with Dustin Hoffman early in his career (part of the anecdote about living with other actors).
    The three of you live It's like a I'm picturing a bunk bed with three levels.
  • James Leo Herlihy — Person · Author (referenced) · 1 mention · first at
    Referenced as the author of the book/source for Midnight Cowboy; Dustin cites Herlihy's description in shaping Ratso's character.
    Yes, and the guy who wrote the book, James Leo Herlihy, literally said it in the book. He says, You're like the fifth wheel.
  • Greg Daniels — Person · Friend / gift-giver (referenced) · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as a friend who made Conan a mug that was on the desk; referenced during desk anecdotes.
    Greg Daniels made me a mug that was always on my desk.
  • Adam Sandler — Person · Referenced acquaintance (bat mitzvah anecdote) · 2 mentions · first at
    Referenced as the host of the bat mitzvah (his daughter) where Conan and Dustin were seated and where the Mrs. Spade anecdote took place.
    You and I were at a bat mitzvah together. It was Adam Sandler's daughter was having a bat mitzvah. You were sitting on the table It was a big table and you were opposite me and I'm sorry,.
  • General Dwight D. Eisenhower — Person · Referenced historical figure (mug joke) · 2 mentions · first at
    Referenced in a joke about Conan's Eisenhower mug that appeared on talk show desks; cited as 'Eisenhower' on Conan's mug.
    My Eisenhower mug that was on the has been on every talk show desk I ever did anything with it's and that I kept.
  • Clarence Thomas — Person · Referenced public figure · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned in a comedic exchange where Conan jokes about telling a Supreme Court justice to 'shut up, bitch' — Clarence Thomas referenced by name
    I'm saying that to Clarence Thomas.
  • Elena Kagan — Person · Referenced public figure · 1 mention · first at
    Referenced in the same comedic exchange about telling a Supreme Court justice to 'shut up, bitch' — Justice Kagan mentioned by name
    Yeah. Justice Yeah. Justice Kagan, Shut up, bitch.
  • Bob Evans — Person · Producer (referenced) · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as a producer during the Marathon Man / Laurence Olivier anecdote (referred to as 'Bob Evans' who was the producer).
    Some he had a genius when there wasn't coke coming out of his nose, you know. Cuz he And by the way, he was that was a time when you went to a party and there were lines of…
  • George Burns — Person · Referenced comedian (anecdote) · 1 mention · first at
    Quoted in passing: 'If I knew I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself.' Used as a humorous aside.
    I just thought of something else. Who was it that George Burns, on his 100th 101st birthday, he said, If I knew I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself.

Books & papers

  • Look at Me — Book · Primary referenced work · 3 mentions · first at
    Dustin Hoffman's memoir; the interview references stories from it and Conan read it prior to the episode.

Companies & orgs

  • NBC — Company · Owner / broadcaster · 2 mentions · first at
    Referenced as the owner of Late Night desks and the network whose store offered desk-riding experiences; context around auctioning the desk.
    Then NBC the NBC store turned that into an experience where you could sit and ride the desk with me. And so I've met many people over the years who said, I was 15. I visited New York with my.
  • Instagram — Company · Referenced social platform · 4 mentions · first at
    Listed in the episode's show description/social links block (Team Coco social presence) and referenced as a platform where Team Coco podcasts are followed
  • YouTube — Company · Platform / distributor · 4 mentions · first at
    Episode is hosted on Team Coco's YouTube channel; show metadata references subscribing to the Team Coco YouTube channel.
  • Macy's — Company · Referenced employer (past job) · 4 mentions · first at
    Referenced as Dustin Hoffman's former workplace where he sold toys and used the role as an acting exercise.
    So [clears throat] you're You're working Your job at Macy's is just to sell the toys. All they want you to do is say, You might like this. It's a hockey game. Here, I can show you how it works. Isn't that fun?
  • Horn & Hardart — Company · Referenced historical venue · 1 mention · first at
    Referenced by Dustin Hoffman as the Automat location in Times Square where he asked to meet John Schlesinger — used as background for the Midnight Cowboy audition anecdote.
    It was [clears throat] It was literally open 24 hours, and I said, Meet me at Horn & Hardart cuz I had been there at 3:00 in the morning when I was literally trying to research the character. That's one of the places I followed one guy who.
  • Facebook — Company · Referenced social platform · 3 mentions · first at
    Included in the show's social links in the episode context to indicate Team Coco presence
  • TikTok — Company · Referenced social platform · 3 mentions · first at
    Listed among Team Coco's social channels in the episode metadata
  • American Film Institute — Company · Referenced cultural authority · 1 mention · first at
    Referenced as the organization that has enshrined many scenes from The Graduate as part of the AFI canon; used when discussing the film's cultural importance.
    Which are, all enshrined in the American Film Institute, in those great scenes, you at times thought, I don't know what the hell I'm doing. And that was a disaster. That's what you're thinking as you're making it.
  • Life magazine — Company · Referenced media source · 1 mention · first at
    Referenced in the anecdote about Dustin Hoffman waiting in the unemployment line and Life magazine photographing him — illustrating sudden fame paradox.
    '60s, but still $3,000. You didn't have any money and so you went back to the unemployment office and someone at Life magazine took a photo of you.
  • Christie's — Company · Referenced auction house · 1 mention · first at
    Used as an example of a major auction house when discussing where the Late Night desk might have been listed
    I'm looking at this auction site, when you think of auction sites, you think of like Christie's, Sotheby's, Julien. This is Big Mo R. L. Spear Co.
  • Sotheby's — Company · Referenced auction house · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned alongside Christie's as an example of major auction houses in contrast to the actual listing source
    I'm looking at this auction site, when you think of auction sites, you think of like Christie's, Sotheby's, Julien. This is Big Mo R. L. Spear Co.
  • Big Mo R. L. Spear Co. Incorporated — Company · Referenced auction house · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as the auctioneer listing a Late Night desk (used as an example of smaller/obscure auction houses)
    I'm looking at this auction site, when you think of auction sites, you think of like Christie's, Sotheby's, Julien. This is Big Mo R. L. Spear Co.
  • NBC Store — Company · Referenced retail/experience provider · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as having turned a late-night desk bit into an in-person experience where people could 'drive the desk' which fans remembered.
    Then NBC the NBC store turned that into an experience where you could sit and ride the desk with me. And so I've met many people over the years who said, I was 15. I visited…
  • Twitter — Company · Referenced social platform · 4 mentions · first at
    Listed in the episode context block as Conan's and Team Coco's social presence and mentioned in the show's metadata.
  • Lloyd's of London — Company · Referenced insurer/valuer · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned jokingly as having valued Conan's show desks at ~$600,000 each during a comedic exchange about desk worth.
    The desks were valued by Lloyd's of London as having a worth of about $600,000 each.
  • Erewhon — Company · Referenced retailer · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned in a joke about how little $200 a month buys today ('one smoothie at Erewhon').
    Now, that's one smoothie at Erewhon.

Products & tech

  • Eisenhower Mug — Product · Personal prop / anecdote · 2 mentions · first at
    Conan references keeping his Eisenhower mug as a recurring desk item across shows; used as a personal anecdote about set items.
    My Eisenhower mug that was on the has been on every talk show desk I ever did anything with it's and that I kept.
  • Hyundai Ioniq 5 N — Product · Mentioned vehicle (host's car example) · 1 mention · first at
    Conan references driving an Ioniq 5 N and enjoying it while reading a Hyundai ad during the show (part of sponsor/promo content).
    I've been tooling around in a Ioniq 5 N, which I love.
  • Twinkie — Product · Referenced snack product · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned humorously in a conversation about product ingredients/history (joke: original Twinkie recipe)
    Cocaine used to have coke in it. Can you believe that?

Concepts & topics

  • Accutane — Concept · Referenced medication · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned by Dustin Hoffman in a joke about lifelong acne and using Accutane to control breakouts
    Literally. I take Accutane three times a week or else I'd be look like a 15-year-old. there's an upside to that, testosterone, but we don't want to, belabor that.
  • Tool — Concept · Referenced band/music preference · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned in a conversation about musical taste and contrasting preferences within Sona's friend group (one friend wanted Tool instead of New Kids on the Block).
    Yeah. And Veronica was Can we put on Tool? And we're Shut up, you bitch!

Places & events

  • New York, New York — Place · Setting / production context · 5 mentions · first at
    Referenced as the location of theatrical work, Automats, and where Conan and Dustin discuss industry experiences and meetings with directors.
    So, I said I will never make another movie again after that. And I went back to the theater in New York because I it was a horrible experience. I was fighting acne. I was short. He thought he made a.
  • Boston — Place · Referenced location / origin story detail · 2 mentions · first at
    Mentioned in anecdotes (Conan and Dustin referencing Brookline/Boston connections and early fandom stories).
    They're all fans of yours. Bo- Boston. I don't Donnie Yeah, you've got that accent down, all right.
  • Los Angeles — Place · Referenced origin / background · 2 mentions · first at
    Mentioned as Conan's and Dustin's (moved-to) connections and part of their biographical background in the conversation.
    You start this book by proving one of my theories, which is you were cast It's your big break.
  • Las Vegas — Place · Setting (anecdote) · 1 mention · first at
    Location of Sona's trip where she and friends saw New Kids on the Block — used as background for anecdotes.
    So, three of my best friends and I went to Vegas this past weekend and we met New Kids on the Block.
  • Time Square — Place · Referenced meeting location · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as the place where Dustin Hoffman met John Schlesinger (Times Square/dive coffee shop) and as part of the Midnight Cowboy anecdote.
    It was [clears throat] It was literally open 24 hours, and I said, Meet me at Horn & Hardart cuz I had been there at 3:00 in the morning when I was literally trying to research the character. That's one of the places I followed one guy who.
  • 42nd Street — Place · Referenced location · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned in the anecdote about Times Square and the historic atmosphere where automats and nightlife existed; used to set the scene for the Midnight Cowboy meeting.
    Yeah, and like some of them were on 42nd Street when 42nd Street was 42nd Street.
  • Akran, Ohio — Place · Listener origin · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned by a voicemail caller (R.C. Graham) who identifies themselves as being from Akron, Ohio
    Hi, my name is R.C. Graham. I'm from Akron, Ohio.
  • Brookline, Massachusetts — Place · Referenced hometown / location · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned by Conan when describing where some New Kids members lived (near Conan's parents' house in Brookline) and framing a childhood anecdote.
    Let's talk to this cuz I know New Kids Some of the New Kids lived near my parents' house in Brookline, Massachusetts for a while.
  • Nashville — Place · Referenced city · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as the city where Conan and Dustin were visiting Gruene's and saw a Buddy Holly amp; used as travel anecdote context.
    And I were in Nashville. We went to Gruene's and they said, Hey Conan, we know you're a huge Buddy Holly fanatic.
  • Gruene's — Place · Referenced venue · 1 mention · first at
    Referenced by Conan in an anecdote about being in Nashville and being shown a Buddy Holly amp at Gruene's.
    And I were in Nashville. We went to Gruene's and they said, Hey Conan, we know you're a huge Buddy Holly fanatic.

Media & podcasts

  • Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend — Media · Podcast / Show · 1 mention · first at
    The program this episode belongs to; the episode format, recurring segments, and hosts are part of this show.
  • The Graduate — Media · Referenced work · 12 mentions · first at
    One of Dustin Hoffman's breakthrough films; discussed in relation to casting, Hoffman’s feelings about fame after the film, and Mike Nichols' direction.
  • Midnight Cowboy — Media · Referenced work · 2 mentions · first at
    Film in which Dustin Hoffman played Ratso Rizzo; used to illustrate Hoffman's approach to transformative roles and how he convinced director John Schlesinger to cast him.
  • Late Night — Media · Referenced show · 7 mentions · first at
    Referenced as Conan's previous/related late-night program platform where desks and bits originated; relevant to discussion about the physical desk prop.
  • Tootsie — Media · Referenced work · 4 mentions · first at
    One of Dustin Hoffman's iconic films; referenced when Conan describes Mrs. Spade saying Tootsie is her second favorite movie.
    The one you're not in. My second favorite. And it was a joy for me. You were absolutely delightful to her, but it was just hilarious.
  • Marathon Man — Media · Referenced work · 2 mentions · first at
    Film referenced in Hoffman's anecdotes, particularly involving working with Laurence Olivier and coverage/directing choices.
    We prompt him when we're in wide shots and we get closer and closer.
  • CONAN on TBS — Media · Related show / franchise · 3 mentions · first at
    Referenced as part of the Team Coco network context (episode metadata and Conan's late-night history referenced during desk anecdotes).
    Team Coco features over a decade of comedy sketches.
  • Rain Man — Media · Referenced film · 1 mention · first at
    Listed among Dustin Hoffman's iconic films in Conan's introduction of the guest.
    Yeah. My guest today is a Hollywood legend who has starred in such iconic movies as The Graduate, Rain Man, and Tootsie, just to name a small percentage.
  • Journey of the Fifth Horse — Media · Referenced play · 1 mention · first at
    Referenced by Dustin Hoffman as the play he later did that ultimately led to Mike Nichols noticing him and casting him in The Graduate.
    And then you later realize because you didn't do that play, you did The Journey of the Fifth Horse.
  • The Three Questions with Andy Richter — Media · Referenced Team Coco show · 2 mentions
    Listed in the Team Coco network shows in the episode context/description
  • Band of Brothers — Media · Referenced work · 1 mention · first at
    Referenced regarding Donnie Wahlberg's role and to highlight Hoffman's anecdote connecting actors across projects.
    Donnie Wahlberg was in Band of Brothers. He played Sergeant Carwood Lipton and he's like the emotional center of that thing.
  • All the President's Men — Media · Referenced film · 1 mention · first at
    Cited as one of Dustin Hoffman's notable films during the conversation summarizing his career highlights.
    And so, you've you've managed to make these movies for every single generation.
  • Kramer vs. Kramer — Media · Referenced film · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned among Dustin Hoffman's notable films in Conan's recap of Hoffman's career.
    And so, you've you've managed to make these movies for every single generation.
  • Hook — Media · Referenced work · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned in passing during discussion of films across generations (Sona and Eduardo referencing differing tastes).
    Midnight Cowboy, Sona comes in ranting about Hook. She's a completely different generation.
  • Hamlet — Media · Referenced play · 1 mention · first at
    Referenced when discussing Laurence Olivier's repertory mastery (Olivier had memorized roles like Hamlet, Macbeth, King Lear).
    Mean, here's a guy who had three parts in repertory committed to memory, what Hamlet, Macbeth, King Lear. Literally in repertory, knew all three of those word by word. And here's a guy who can't put four words together because of the.
  • King Lear — Media · Referenced play · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as one of Olivier's repertory roles to emphasize his classical acting pedigree during the Marathon Man anecdote.
    Mean, here's a guy who had three parts in repertory committed to memory, what Hamlet, Macbeth, King Lear. Literally in repertory, knew all three of those word by word. And here's a guy who can't put four words together because of the.
  • Macbeth — Media · Referenced play · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned alongside Hamlet and King Lear in reference to Olivier's repertory work.
    Mean, here's a guy who had three parts in repertory committed to memory, what Hamlet, Macbeth, King Lear. Literally in repertory, knew all three of those word by word. And here's a guy who can't put four words together because of the.
  • Joey — Character · Referenced boy-band member (generic) · 1 mention · first at
    Used in the New Kids on the Block anecdote as the object of teenage crushes (fans waiting outside for 'Joey').
    And I used to see groups of young women waiting outside hoping to get like a glimpse of Joey. And they'd have signs and stuff for Joey.
  • Dance Moms — Media · Referenced TV show · 1 mention · first at
    Referenced as part of explaining Tate McRae's background (mentioned in passing when discussing Tate McRae).
    One of the new ladies that She was one of the like from Dance Moms, I think. She was one of the young dancers and then she grew up and she's an incredible dancer and she's a great performer. Yeah. And she's got a body for days.

Sponsors

  • Hyundai — Sponsor · Sponsor · 3 mentions · first at
    Sponsor of the episode; Conan reads a promotional message about Hyundai vehicles and models during the show.
    To deliver the quality, innovation, technology, and value drivers expect from an award-winning brand. View US News Best Cars at cars.usnews.com and call 562-314-4603 for…
  • LifeLock — Sponsor · Sponsor · 2 mentions · first at
    Episode sponsor; Conan reads an advertisement about LifeLock's identity protection service with a promotional CTA URL and discount.
    So, join now, save up to 30% off your first year. Go to lifelock.com/conan.
  • Amazon — Sponsor · Sponsor · 1 mention · first at
    Episode sponsor; Conan reads promotional language encouraging early holiday shopping at Amazon and provides a CTA URL.
    Top picks, holiday decor, and advent calendars [clears throat] at low prices. Get a head start on holiday gifting with Amazon's low prices. Shop now at amazon.com/holiday.

Full transcript with timestamps

Hi. My name is Dustin Hoffman and I would feel great about being Conan O'Brien's friend if we ever hung out and he has not called yet.

To be fair, Dustin, I call you many times. Someone who sounds a lot like you picks up the phone. When I identify myself, that person says he's not here.

And then hangs up. Here, you can call me. I literally don't ring ring. Hello, is Dustin there? This is Conan O'Brien.

WHO IS THIS, PLEASE? THAT'S THE PERSON. I AM HIS HOUSEKEEPER. HE HE IS NOT HERE. HE IS IN BATHROOM.

OKAY. I'm going to call cut on this right now. Hello and welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend, joined by Sona Movsesian.

Hi. And of course Matt Gourley. Hi. And I am the aforementioned Conan O'Brien. Uh I want to right up top say that uh apparently Sona has had a life-changing orgasmic experience.

You are glowing. You are glowing. person. Right now. Tell us what happened. So, three of my best friends and I went to Vegas this past weekend and we met New Kids on the Block.

And this is your group. I mean, you've talked about this for a while to me over the years.

These are my homies. So, me, Christina, Veronica, Angina, we went to Vegas and we met them and watched them. They have a residency and it was just the greatest night of our All the Veronica's not a fan. So,

Wait, what And you're outing her here on the podcast. Yeah, I know. Yeah, Veronica

Did she meet them? Did she get a picture with them? She was kind of we kind of like just brought her along.

Did she say out loud as you guys were taking the picture, I am not a fan? No, no. She was actually really cool about it.

But now they're listening to this and they're thinking, wait, what's wrong with her? Cuz that's how I would react.

Well, what is wrong with her? That's true. What is wrong with her? piss. Yes, Christina.

Okay. You call her piss? Yeah. I call her piss. Okay. Classic group. Okay. So, uh

let's talk to this cuz I know New Kids Some of the New Kids lived near near my parents' house in Brookline, Massachusetts for a while. And I used to see groups of young women waiting outside hoping to get like a a glimpse of Joey. And they'd have signs and stuff for Joey. And um and then uh I may have mentioned this once before. It doesn't matter. Uh one time one of the ladies drifted over to my parents' house. I happened to be there at that time visiting them. This is after I'd been doing the late night show for a couple of years. And they were outside my house. Just one person.

And I went outside and she said, "Yeah, things are pretty slow over at the New Kids' house. So, I thought I'd wander over here."

You're like a consolation prize. a consolation house to hang outside. Yeah. then I said, "Well, if you want, I could uh you know, I could take you and your friends out to dinner." And she said, "We're good."

No, I'm kidding. I didn't say that. But anyway, it was it was They were they were a big deal. I don't know their songs. What are some of their big hits?

step by step is their big one. one go? We got it tough. Step by step. Yeah. Hangin' tough. Hangin' tough. And the right stuff. There's Cover Girl. There's Time to go

Time to go do it. It's time to go do it. That's Time to Go Do It is not They were actually wholesome cuz they were really, you know, young.

Right. Right. Right. You're My Kind of Girl. Is that Is that them? You would be terrible in a in a any kind of boy band. You would be really bad at it.

is. What? Stop trying. Just stop trying. But because we talked about it on the podcast, their team, this guy Marcelo on their team was like, "Come to Vegas and we'll hook you up." And he did.

So, uh describe what the situation is cuz I don't know what the equivalent would be for me, you know? But um

Well, to give you an idea, my my friend Christina wrote a a letter to them when she was eight. Pissed. Wrote a letter to them when she was eight.

Uh-huh. And she didn't send it out cuz she was too nervous. So, she brought it with her and gave it to Jordan. And it was like really sweet. She's like, "I am Christina. I'm 8 years old. I love you guys, especially Jordan." She spelled his name wrong. And it was really sweet. But like they were our first crushes. All They You know, we loved them. And then they were on stage

What year was this? Yeah. You lost your minds. Um and and and and and Yes. And our and our 40-something year old selves, too.

Yes. And were you listening to uh New Kids on the Block music all the way to Vegas and all the way back?

Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And Veronica was like, "Can we put on Tool?" And we're like, "Shut up, you bitch!"

Tool? No, she went to see Tool like days before. Okay. Yeah, well That's a nosebleed.

Yeah. Oh my god! From Tool to New Kids on the Block? You know, most people would survive that.

rejoinder. "Shut up, bitch." That's why Sona's when she argues in front of the Supreme Court, it doesn't go well.

"I would like to shut up, bitch." I'm saying that to Clarence Thomas. Yeah. Justice Yeah. Justice Kagan, "Shut up, bitch."

She should shut up. He could use a shut up, No, it was it was one of the best nights of our lives. It really was.

So, that was it. A photograph and some chitchat. Some chitchat. Yeah, they I mean, they all knew that I was affiliated with you. They're all fans of yours. Like, "Bo- Boston." You know, I mean, I don't

Donnie Yeah, you've got that accent down, all right. Boston. Yep. That's how the Hulk talks when he visits Boston.

You know, Donnie Wahlberg was in Band of Brothers. He played Sergeant Carwood Lipton and he's like the emotional center of that thing.

Yeah. Good actor. I know. He was really good at it. Um good plug. Uh I don't know why you're getting the word out on a New Kids guy.

trying to on Band of Brothers. Yeah. Let me Let me Let me see. How can I phrase it?

to connect them to me. Well, not only that, but I was I was also trying to have a moment with you. But I should have known better than that.

no, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I saw a chance to I saw a chance to put you down and I took it without even thinking about what a good guy you are.

Yeah, let me let me try it again. You're trying to be kind and Hey, yeah. I was trying to be kind. You know Donny Wahlberg, right?

Sure. you. Hey! Hey, buddy. That's all right. Hey, You're my ride or die now. Uh well, that's a nice experience you had.

It's it's interesting uh to uh you know, cuz I was doing something recently where they were showing me like incredible Beatles stuff. Um I I can't say too much about it right now, but I was getting to see some things that most people don't get to see uh and it's it's going to be for this project that's upcoming. And I was trying to explain David Hopping was there. And he could see how exciting it was for me. And I was trying to explain to him what this meant to me and I said, "I guess for you it would be like if you got a chance to hold Tate McRae's thong."

Oh my god. And um and he got so mad at me. Everyone in the room laughed really hard. I think it's the way I said it. I said, "Imagine if you get to hold Tate McRae's phone."

I'm impressed that you pulled out Tate McRae. Tate McRae? There you go. Yeah. Yeah.

Uh it's a she. It's I think she's she's one of the new ladies that She was one of the like from Dance Moms, I think. She was one of the young dancers and then she grew up and she's an incredible dancer and she's a great performer. Yeah. And she she you know, she's got a body for days.

Uh She's tight. For weeks. No, it's not the same. booked it for weeks. No, but weeks isn't it's not you're messing it up. It's days.

It's the body for millennium. No, my god. And I Why is your your voice sounds weird?

for an eons. Stop doing it. Just stop. But you know what else I remember? I remember that time you um Buddy Holly's amp. And you were really excited about that.

and I were in Nashville. We went to Gruene's and they said, "Hey Conan, we know you're a huge Buddy Holly fanatic." They showed me one of the last amps that Buddy Holly owned. They took off the back and you could see once you take the plate off the back, you could see that Buddy had written his name in the back. Then they showed me Tate McRae's thong.

God, this just reminds me of that time I got to get my hands on a skein of Harris Tweed yarn.

Oh, I love that you're playing into the role I've cast you as unfairly. All right, let's do this. We have a very important show today.

Yeah. Yeah. My guest today is a Hollywood legend who has starred in such iconic movies as The Graduate, Rain Man, and Tootsie, just to name a small percentage.

Yeah. It's mind-boggling how many iconic films this man has helmed. He now has a new memoir titled Look at Me. I am honored. He's here today. Dustin Hoffman, welcome.

Dustin Hoffman, it is a is an honor to have you here. I know you said beforehand you I know you don't like that kind of compliment, but it just is. It's an absolute thrill for all of us to be in a room with you. And I am elated because I read your autobiography Look at Me this weekend and I loved it. It's fantastic.

Thank you for reading it. Are you a quick reader? I am a quick read I'm a fairly No, I want to say I'm not that quick, but I go back and reread things a lot because there are certain stories here in this book Not certain stories, there's maybe 75 stories in this book that are just absolutely fantastic and there is so much to talk about. I want to say I'm going to tell you one thing, which is I had an encounter with you that really makes me laugh. You and I were at a bat mitzvah together. It was Adam Sandler's daughter was having a bat mitzvah. You were sitting on the table It was a big table and you were opposite me and I'm sorry, but it's a big deal when you're sitting at a table with Dustin Hoffman. I grew up adoring all of your your work and I'm like, "Oh my god, it's Dustin Hoffman. I'm sitting next to David Spade's mother."

And David Spade's mother is so thrilled that you were sitting across the table and she says to me, "That's Dustin Hoffman, Conan. That's Dustin Hoffman." I said, "Yes, Mrs. Spade, that's Dustin Hoffman." She said, "I'm going to go over and I'm going to tell him how much I love Tootsie. It's my second favorite movie ever."

And I said, "Okay, great." And she said, "My first favorite is Amadeus." And I can't wait to go over there and tell Dustin Hoffman, "My first favorite movie is Amadeus and my second favorite movie is Tootsie." And I said, "Mrs. Spade, just go up to him and say, 'I love Tootsie. It's one of my favorite films.'" And she went, "That's not the truth. The truth is Amadeus is one." And I kept telling her how to say it and then she gets up and she walked over to you and I can't The beauty is I couldn't hear anything. I could just see her talking and I could see

getting the news, "My favorite movie is the one you're not in. My second favorite." And it was a joy for me. You were absolutely delightful to her, but it was just hilarious.

How old was she then? I think she was 107. I think I went with her. Yeah, yeah, you did.

And I think that's her getting even. Yeah, it was She said you two were an item.

One date. Yeah. [clears throat] You were a big item in 1955, she said. Yeah, that's when I graduated high school, actually.

That was the year. And we have things in common, by the way, cuz I looked you up.

Uh-oh. What did you find out? We're both from LA. No, I'm not from LA. I moved to LA. I'm from Boston originally, but I moved to LA.

Well, Sona and I are from LA. You must have been thinking of us. You're probably looking us up.

No, no, it was No, I think it was Dustin, I'm going to say this. I don't think we have anything in common.

Are you not 6'5"? Uh, yes. So, didn't you get teased as much about being the tallest and I got teased for being the shortest?

Yes. See? Yes. And it was painful. It was painful. Yes. You're going to think I'm kidding, but I'm not. I always look for points of commonality. What do I have What can I relate to this How can I relate to this person who's accomplished so much? And there are real things that we have in common. You start this book by proving one of my theories, which is you were cast It's your big break. You're

Can I just hold one second? Yeah. I won't do this because those who have a thing will it'll hurt.

Um Oh my god. No, I'm sorry. It's It's It's I'll tell you why after you finish your story.

It's going to be a 40-minute story. You should probably hydrate before we get into this story.

being my age, which is 89, is that you lose the sensitivity at the tip of your nose. So, it's dripping and you don't know it.

Aw. That's why many times I carry this and I just do this, especially if I'm on the air, cuz if it's dripping and you don't know it, people think it's because you're old. It's not. It's because you don't know you're dripping.

Right. Okay, go ahead. I have that, but it's not my nose. Oh. Killer, right? No.

No, my anal glands. What did you think I was talking about my dick? Oh god. Okay, let's clean this up. This is on you guys, and that's not an edit that's staying in.

Why is anal associated with being uh What is it the Like super tight baby. Super tight tight baby. Fussy.

Why? Isn't it from anal retentiveness? Yes. And I think I think it's probably a probably a Freudian uh stage. I think anal retentive meant you're you're holding it in. You're You're tight.

What's the opposite of anal? Oral? Does that mean you don't hold it in? Oral Oral expansiveness is when you are just chill and

I'm sorry. I am looking through my notes and I don't see this area anywhere. I'm looking through Dustin Hoffman questions. I don't have anal and oral in here.

That's cuz it's in his book. Um you were getting get your big break, you're cast in a Broadway show, you are burned in a kitchen accident. This is how you start the book, and you try everything you can to hide the fact that you've been injured because this is your big break. You're going to be on Broadway. They finally find out because you're in terrible pain. You're you're really uh uh hampered. You're not able to do your thing. They let you go. You think, "Oh my god, it's over for me." And then you later realize because you didn't do that play, you did The Journey of the Fifth Horse.

That's the play that gets you noticed. Mike Nichols sees you. That's what gets you The Graduate. The thing that happened that you thought was the end of your career was the propellant, the thing that puts you where you're supposed to be. I have found that to be true many times. Have you And it's amazing. Yes.

Propellant. Yeah, propellant. Yes. I thought you were accusing me of something.

Don't point it. Don't point it. But isn't that an amazing It's an amazing thing.

Can I ask you a question? Yeah. Are you a speed reader? Uh no, I'm not. I read at a medium pace.

Because you got about 60% of what you said correct, which is not bad. You You You kind of just scanned each page.

I'm I'm just It's It's a question. I don't want to hurt your feelings cuz I know you're 6'5".

We have no more time. Okay. This is the shortest podcast. What did I get wrong there? I believe that I was correct there, but uh let's just say the gist of what I said is correct. Is that fair?

Can you look UP GIST? WHAT WOULD YOU GUESS? GERMAN? IS THAT German or would it be I love that you can look up words now, and you can get it immediate. What would you guess gist is? British? Gist, yes. Yes.

It does sound German. It sure does. YOU GOT THE GIST. JUST SPIRIT? YOU GOT THE GEIST.

Is it What? What am I doing? Why are you saying it like that? know. I think I'm auditioning for Dustin Hoffman.

I desperately want to be in a movie as a German guy who says geist all the time.

I can guarantee it. Uh comes from the Anglo-French legal phrase "say action gist" meaning this action lies.

Geist. That's geist. So that's the gist of it. That's the gist of it. Yes. But do you agree that

so much. this book with the story of you encountering this terrible obstacle but it all ends up leading to you having this iconic breakthrough in your career.

The first thing I'd like to say is there is a woman who uh is a co-writer of mine and if she wasn't there for me, this would never have happened. I [clears throat] have written maybe others here. Can I say how many people are in this room?

Yeah. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 counting both of us. Yeah. Uh if you've ever tried to write a memoir, it's you get about a page or two.

Yeah. And then so I have like 20 30 notebooks cuz I kept trying over the years and I always thought it was the notebook. If I got a different notebook, I would do it.

Yeah. But you know It wasn't the notebook, was it? It wasn't the notebook. So she is ex- [clears throat] was extraordinary and I and it was written with her.

Yes. And she was absolutely at that time the most important person in my life, Ariel Levy. And what made her brilliant Have you ever thought of having a memoir?

I I yeah, I do think about it cuz I have some cookie stories, yeah. You got to get Ariel Levy if you can for two reasons. One is the brain. You remember certain things. And she would ask me questions and your brain kind of has stock answers to those questions cuz you've been asked before. So I would give her the answers. Then she would ask me questions about my answers. And that was suddenly, you know what short-term memory is? Well, there's also long-term memory which comes in when you're old and suddenly I remember it's Miss Sutcliffe who was my third grade teacher.

Is that true? No. It really It's funny you Often people think they don't remember. And you are in this enviable position which is you have made an absurd number of iconic films. And you've had You've met everyone and you've you've participated You've been such an important person in the culture over many, many years and then suddenly you're supposed to remember all of it.

Yes. But what happens is you start talking and someone says something that's incorrect and you go, "Well, no, no, no. That was Miss Sutcliffe, third grade. She She She She drove a Saab. It was green." And suddenly all these things are coming out that you didn't realize you could access.

Do you remember the first teacher that knew that you should do be a comedian? Uh you know, that's interesting. Uh it took a long time.

There were many who said, "Don't do that." Um I actually remember that I had a camp counselor. I went away to a camp. I didn't have any friends there. I wasn't that happy. I would have been at that time maybe 11. And I was very lonely and then on some long hike I just started uh babbling this crazy story about a giant bird that lived in the woods and adding all these details and this counselor started laughing so hard he was crying. And he kept making me go more and more and more and then when we got back to the camp he started walking around telling everyone this kid the weird kid with the red hair with the bowl haircut and the That kid is really funny. And

I think it was pre-puberty. Did you Do you remember if you had hair under your arm yet?

No. And I hit puberty during Obama's first term. Okay. Right? I remember. Puberty Puberty hit we're good. Um yeah, but I we all remember that do it's funny because you did you talk about your father uh in this book and I've always had a saying in the back of my head show me a successful creative person and I'll show you someone who had a complicated relationship with their father.

Right. Your father wanted to be in show business ended up working in props but he did not have success and he had a hard time being generous initially about your success.

Yes. And he had this line when you got The Graduate at the age of 30 and overnight became a cultural icon in the book you say your father said, "Do you know how lucky you are?"

That's exactly the words. Yeah, and I I he was right. He was right because I'm Benjamin Braddock 6 ft 2 uh debating squad and I'm the short Jew and Mike Nichols didn't even change the name from Braddock to to some at least some you know non-Irish Catholic name.

Do you realize how many people don't know because your performance is so iconic they don't realize that the book initially um Benjamin Braddock is you know, blonde blue-eyed he should be played by a by a Robert Redford.

That's who he wanted. Robert Redford. Yes. And when he casts you many people think what is he doing? What is Mike Nichols doing? Including you. You were very insecure during the making of that movie.

It's the worst experience of my life working. In fact, when it was over I said uh I'm going back to the theater which I had been doing for years and years. I'm not uh I'm I'm I'm you you I'm ethnic.

Yeah. [clears throat] I'm not in a town that's had a facelift. You know, I want to be back with my people. And they did make a big mistake. You know, because Nichols, just before he died, and I and I'm still sorry he died. I just thought of something else. Who was it that George Burns, on his 100th 101st birthday, he said, "If I knew I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself."

Not a bad Not a bad line. But Nichols, uh, he really abused himself, and he was sorry that he did, cuz he admits it in his own autobiography. And this is interesting, I think, is that he didn't know he had been looking for 2 years for this character Benjamin. No, Redford turned it down, I think. And he asked a lot of other people. And then he realized it when he was writing his own memoir. And he only had four He knew he was, uh, terminal. He knew he had an incurable illness. He confessed things, and this was shocking, which I never knew.

He was a cocaine addict, and I realized that's the reason he was so nice to me, and you know, cuz when he was high, it was wonderful. The next day, when he's on a downer, it was he was he was abusive. He was And And he admitted it. He's He said in the book he said he he worshipped Bob Surtees, who was this legendary, uh, cinematographer. And he overheard, uh, Bob Surtees, uh, say something. And, uh, cuz they had to do it over again or something. And he heard He heard Bob Surtees say to his crew, "That's okay, it'll be over soon."

And I think it had to do with with the drugs. Poor guy. You say in this book that during the most memorable scenes in The Graduate, which are, you know, all enshrined in the American Film Institute, in those great scenes, you at times thought, "I don't know what the hell I'm doing." And that was a disaster. That's what you're thinking as you're making it.

Yes. Which is very hard to believe, but I believe you. I believe that that's true. That's how you felt.

I can ask you how many times when you started telling jokes did it not get a laugh?

There's no record of me ever not getting a laugh. That's what we've looked into it.

Got it. Over Over 7,000 hours and it's incredible. What's that? You have it right.

There's no record of a laugh. Oh. Yes. I got it backwards. Um No, and it's interesting because I routinely would leave the set after a show and feel terrible inside. That didn't go well. I didn't connect. That was awful. And people would say, "That was really good." And I would think they were lying and I'd be upset. Um so

And maybe they were. I'M SORRY, YOU'RE A TERRIBLE PERSON. I'M realizing that now and I'm I regret that you're here, but you're here and we're going to get through this. Your name represents everything you've built, okay? Everything. Like I feel that way about my name.

Yeah. It stands for uh all of the work good and not so good in my life. But guess what? Your children's names represent their whole futures.

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My kids. Okay. You got to get them their stuff. And then your your husband is last. Well, guess what? It's that time of year. You feel that You smell that that cinnamon cider in the air. Do you smell that? And you see pumpkins around, people buying turkeys. Little early to buy a turkey. Doesn't matter.

Holidays I would say it's just around the corner, but that's a cliché. It's uh very nearby in the cupboard.

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I have to interrupt. Family tall? Yeah, I think my my parents were tall. I'm taller than my parents. Um and uh I have a brother Justin who's very tall. And so, yeah, it was There was genetics there. Definitely.

Same here. I am the tallest one in my family to this day, including uh people that married other people who were not in the family. I'm literally the tallest person. Uh I don't I used to find that an interesting thing to say, and I don't as I'm saying it.

I'M GOING TO STRIKE THAT. NO, NO, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO strike that. That's really funny. And also, um I could see that. Must be nice when you're You're a towering giant when you hang around these relatives of yours. That must be a Yeah, it's a good feeling for you.

redundant? Yes, it is. It's a Yeah, I'm sorry. giant dildo in town. I don't want to be here. I just don't want to be here.

I do. I'm loving this. I'm enjoying this. Um you live for I've always wanted to ask you about this because it's insane to contemplate. But you you grew up in LA, you moved to New York, you want to be an actor, you you're doing a lot of absurd uh jobs. Uh you're working at Is it Macy's where you're selling toys? You sold toys at Macy's.

Adult games, which was different in those days than it is now. It or adult adult toys. They were toys for adults. In fact, what's that thing called?

The the uh like foosball or or hockey that Yes, that yeah, hockey. Yeah, the little where you move the little guys.

Yes, and I had it on my side and then someone would come just shopping or whatever and I and they would take the other and I would use it to try to, you know, beat them and I started to get good at it and because I'm an actor, this won't be a long answer. Uh I I looked up and I realized that there were a lot of hockey players that were French. And a lot of them got hurt playing hockey and I tried to be a retired hurt French hockey player. Literally. And in the next in the next booth

No, I did and I I mentioned I had a bad French I'm never was good at accents but I I won't even try. But Gene Hackman was right there at adult GAMES ALSO.

YES, YOU KNOW WHAT I LOVE ABOUT IT? SO THIS is the thing I was I was getting to. First of all, when I was reading the book and it said for a while I sold adult toys at and I thought, "What?" And I just pictured you uh with you know, uh

Dildo salesman etc. I wanted you to say it. Yes. I thought you were a dildo salesman.

Can we look up dildo? And then I was crushed. Yeah. COME WOULD YOU LIKE A DILDO?

Um what do you think it's Is it French or German? Dildo. It comes from the Latin dildos.

Um They had them back in the day. They had dildos back in the day? Oh, they they go back thousands of years. The early ones were made of stone, not fun. Um

What's that? So Excuse me, Sona, please. I'm trying to conduct an interview with a legend.

First appeared in English print in the late 1500s. Yeah. 1500s, dildo. English word 1500s.

Yeah, makes sense, doesn't it? So [clears throat] you You're You're working Your job at Macy's is just to sell the toys. All they want you to do is say, "You might like this. It's a hockey game. Here, I can show you how it works. Isn't that fun?"

With the French accent. But you decide This is you. You decide I need to become a French hockey player who's been badly injured and has been and is now down on his luck and and selling toys at Macy's. And you use it as an actor acting exercise. The second craziest thing to me is you go home to your roommates. And they are Gene Hackman and Robert Duvall.

The three of you live It's like a I'm picturing a bunk bed with three levels. And you guys are snoring in unison like the Three Stooges. That's what I'm picturing. That's crazy that you all live together.

Did Did We didn't live together quite like that, but did Did In my mind you did.

Okay, you can. Did you live ever I'm guessing because you said that that you yourself at some point in your life lived in a bunk bed.

I you want cuz this tells me a lot about your personality. Uh-huh. If you had your choice, did you want to be on the upper or the lower?

Upper. Yeah, are you a top or are you a bottom? I'm a top. Okay. I'm a top. I always wanted to be on the top. I thought that would be cool. I never got to sleep in a bunk bed until my freshman year of college when that's what they gave us is bunks.

So you chose the top? I chose the top. I wanted to be on top. I've always wanted to be on top.

You're just saying it a little bit. thrill would be to be on top. Okay. It's a little a little

I mean, you guys aren't understanding me. My erotic fantasy Yeah, no, we got it.

Um okay. We got it. No, we got it. Um Well, you certainly don't want to be on the bottom if the top is 350 lb.

Again, I'm looking through my notes. I'm not seeing this anywhere. I'm seeing all these things to talk to Dustin Hoffman about father, uh jobs, roommates, fame. Um I'm going to go with fame.

Okay. You had an interesting experience, which very few people have. You became famous overnight at the age of 30. You make The Graduate, you're an unknown. The movie doesn't just become a hit, it's a cultural phenomenon. Many people think that it ushers in the death of the studio system, a complete new kind of film. It is endured as a classic, and then you don't know how to handle this.

One second. Sorry. You get two more of those, and then that's it. I'm not doing that to try to get attention.

Sure. Because it's By the way, your book is called Look at Me. So, I think you'll do anything to get attention.

We all think you need to blow your nose that often. I know what you're doing. Um

But but I am dripping. I am dripping. Go ahead. You were not happy about suddenly being famous.

Well, but the truth is is that I was miscast. only person in this room that thinks it was a mistake for you to play Benjamin Braddock in The Graduate.

What do you think that sir? What do I can say sir? Yes, you can. [snorts] Sir, what are the odds of someone being in basically their first film with the best director of all time at that moment? I mean, who would you compare him to today? Maybe what, Spielberg or something? That was Nichols. I mean, he was a god. He was the god. And to be cast in that, and not only is it a hit, but as you said, it's it becomes this phenomena. What's the odds? A million to one? Two million? I mean, it has to be.

people are coming up to you. You can't go anywhere. People come up to you. They want your autograph. At least it's before selfies, so no selfies. But

That's right. You had a a little bit of an allergic reaction probably to just suddenly this is your reality that everybody knows who you are.

Do you Do you always want me to answer the first thing that comes to my mind? Sure.

Like an analysis you're supposed to do. Yeah. I I I'm your therapist now. Okay. Allergic. I have had a life My first reaction I've had lifelong acne.

Mhm. Literally. I mean, I take Accutane three times a week or else I'd be look like a 15-year-old. I mean, there's an upside to that, testosterone, but we don't want to, you know, belabor that.

And I'm 89 and I still [clears throat] have, you know, lifelong acne. So, I said I will never make another movie again after that. And I went back to the theater in New York because I it was a horrible experience. I was fighting acne. I was short. He thought he made a mistake. Uh as I said, you know, he told all his friends, you know, I miscast the lead, which he did. Uh [snorts] and

is telling everyone I made a mistake. Yes. Yes. And uh And he's not he's not really dealing with it because of his

addictions. Yeah. So, you thought I I did that film, it's a big hit. I don't want to do that necessarily anymore.

At all. And then you proceed to make There's almost too many to mention. just naming our own generations' favorites and every one of our generations has a number to pick from. There's so many.

But it's interesting. It's it's it's uh you know, Marathon Man, All the President's Men, uh

Tootsie. Yeah, Kramer versus Tootsie, Kramer versus Kramer, uh Hook. I mean, some of it

Midnight Cowboy. Midnight Cowboy, Sona comes in ranting about Hook. She's a completely different generation.

Yeah, so is Eduardo. We both We both are big Hook fans. And so, you've you've managed to make these movies for every single generation. It's very interesting to me that you after The Graduate, you're thinking, "Well, that's it for movies for me." And then you proceed to have this streak that I don't think is rivaled by anybody.

I'm not [clears throat] sure. Maybe you're right. I can't tell. But I do know that I was supposed to be, as I say in the book, I was supposed to be the failure

Yeah. in the family. Yes. My brother was a triple-A student, was an athlete. He was asked to be on a uh major baseball team. When he graduated, he chose college anyways cuz he thought he'd have a longer career. And he was And I was supposed to be the failure. I was the designated failure. I was very comfortable with that. And I even failed at that.

It was your failure to be a failure. Yes. That's your true failure. Yes. Wait, you can do that?

Yeah. Oh, no. And that was painful, actually. You say in the book, I think it's a quote, you said um I cannot stress this enough, nobody expected anything from me. You were a very bad student.

The worst. Uh and the only reason that you got into acting was because someone told you it's like PE class. You can't fail.

So, nobody fails acting. I mean, nobody fails gym. I mean, [clears throat] you get a C, right?

Okay. I You failed gym? I failed gym. Yeah. Aw. Yeah. No, you couldn't have. I I made that up. I just thought it'd be fun.

6'5", my god. Yeah, guess what? No coordination. That's the problem. I had the height but not the coordination. And again, uh no testosterone in my body until Obama's first term.

What about your sport? What was it? I was a runner for a while. At 6'5"? Yeah, it was a mistake. They made me a distance runner and I looked like sort of a red-haired gazelle. But a sickly one, like a tubercular gazelle running across

Why not basketball? Because you need to care where the ball is. I never cared where the ball is. So, they would toss a ball to me and I'd say, "I could grab it or I could think about this funny bit that's in my head."

You know who said, "Give me [clears throat] the ball, give me the ball"? I didn't want the ball. I would say, "No one give me the ball."

I didn't want the ball. I still don't want the ball. Right. Waste of time to have that ball.

You have to have a sport today, though, right? I think you everyone has to have a sport.

Really? You have yours today? I'm late. You have to have a sport. There's this It's just such an insane picture, but it's a famous picture. You finish The Graduate, The Graduate comes out, massive success. You were paid $3,000 for your role as Benjamin Braddock in The Graduate, $3,000. Now, I know that went a lot further back in the late '60s, but still $3,000. You didn't have any money and so you went back to the unemployment office and someone at Life magazine took a photo of you.

Yes. The most famous face in America at the time, waiting in the unemployment line to get a check.

Yes. $50. $50 check. $55, I think, was the most you could get. Yeah. And so Which you could live on. I mean, you could live on.

Back then. Yeah, 200 a month was a lot. Now, that's one smoothie at Erewhon. Yes.

And not the good one. You have so many great stories about your co-stars, people that you worked with over the years. And your process for making up these characters. After The Graduate, you have this chance to play Ratso Rizzo. In Midnight Cowboy. John Schlesinger, the director, was going to make the movie Midnight Cowboy. Um he needed to get financing.

Yes. So he said I he couldn't get it. So he said they and he probably told if you cast Dustin Hoffman who's now a big star, you can make this movie. He didn't want you. He thought because he saw The Graduate that that's who you were.

Yes. So you have to convince John Schlesinger and again, just like you at Macy's, you decide I'm going to become Ratso Rizzo and convince this director.

No, don't Oh, I shouldn't interrupt. I'm sorry. No, no, go ahead. You you may interrupt me.

Okay. Well, since I am, you're taking a drink out of a cup with a deer on it. Yeah.

Is that an accident? No, I chose this mug. I I love this guy. I love this mug. And um

Have you ever You could tell that with that very Have you ever shot an animal? I never have shot an animal.

Never. I never. Never took a bow and arrow to a deer. No. I I threw a hammer at a rabbit once.

That's weird. That's That's weirder. An arm's length. Wasn't a long throw. And you know what? The rabbit was doing nothing to bother me. And if I can go further, it was a petting zoo. Jesus.

I'm sorry, Dustin. Yeah, it's not It's some time for that. It's okay. We all pay for our crimes. Where the hell was I?

Did it die instantly or is it somewhere is there a crippled rabbit? No, he just No, I I I I got him. It just hurt his leg and then there was lawsuits. And the rabbit showed up in court.

That's why they always stood up on twos. I think there's some guy with a hammer in their paw.

I said, we're not going to get We're not going to get into why I used to go to petting zoos and throw many times hammers at small animals. That's my thing. That's how I get off.

Now Um yes. If I may. Yes. It wasn't just John Schlesinger. I was I It's funny because you're still you even if you become a star. You're still you behind that.

Mhm. And I was very angry that the public did not think I was anything but Ratso Rizzo.

Not Benjamin Braddock. Oh, that's Yeah, yeah, right. that people thought You're thinking You're thinking I'm an I'm an I'm an actor. I'm trained. I I I do a lot of work in method. Uh and

another subject, but go ahead. Yeah, but I mean, you And suddenly, you have a little bit of a score to settle because you want to show people No, I I'm not Benjamin Braddock. I became Benjamin Braddock for The Graduate. Now, I I'm going to become Ratso Rizzo.

That's why I took the part. Yeah. Was to get revenge against the world. I wanted to prove because that's who you are behind everything. You're still trying to prove that you're an actor.

Yeah. And I hated humanity. And that's why I took And in fact, Mike Nichols calls me up. It's one of the great moments in my life. And he says, "What are you doing?" And he's talking in that sing-song, you know, "What are you doing?" And I said, "What?" He says, "You're playing this What do you say this

tubercular, limping detestable character, and it's not even the lead. It's a supporting part. Why? And he said, "Why are you trying to destroy? I made you a star."

Ah. Yeah. And it was I I was I loved the fact that he had said that because that is the reason I didn't work for a year. I didn't want to be a star. I only wanted to do good work. I never I didn't because I was the failure of the family. My brother was the star.

Yeah. And there are people There is a basketball player. Who was that legendary the guy who's Jalen Brunson?

Brunson, yeah. He said a great thing. He says, "If you're ahead by 30, 40 points, why do you still care?" That's what you You're still trying as hard as you can. He says, "I wanted The reason I do the next shot," he says, "cuz I want to see what I did wrong. I want to correct what I did wrong." That's a great answer. So, it's got nothing to do with anything, but the moment I want to I don't I want to correct the mistake I made so I don't make that mistake again.

Yeah. But that has to be true true with you, too. it's a it's a it's a uh hunger that doesn't go away. And I I remembered once

It's a good way to put it. I uh uh I think we used to have young people come in, sit in the audience at the late night show, and ask me questions. They were students and um interns, and they would come in and they got to just ask me questions. And I remembered one woman who might have been, I don't know, 19, 20 years old, said, "When do you stop worrying and being anxious? When does that stop?" And I said, "I got bad news for you." You know, and at the time I was in my late 40s, and I said, "It doesn't. It never does."

Correct. You need to be hungry. You need to be scared, not terrified, but you need to be scared.

Yes. And we're all pushing for that. We're all digging into that. And I think your decision to take that role of or to try and get the role of Ratso Rizzo is you saying, "I have now given myself a whole new challenge." Most people would say, "I just I just did the graduate home run. Aren't I great?" You said, "No, no. Now I have really have something to approve." And uh it became fuel for you.

I wanted revenge. Yeah. I wanted revenge against everybody. Yeah. I loved that he said it's a supporting role.

Yeah. It's but I don't as I said, that's I think not getting a laugh, you want revenge cuz you want to get the laugh.

The um So, you end up meeting Slessinger in Times Square in a dive coffee shop. You haven't showered. you're dressed like a bum, and you you're dirty, and you show up to prove this is who I I can be this guy now.

Yes, and I don't know if it still exists cuz everything changes, but anybody from New York here, do you know what an Automat was?

Oh, I do. those vending machines for food. a quarter in and you get a sandwich.

Yeah, and like some of them were on 42nd Street when 42nd Street was 42nd Street. It was [clears throat] It was literally open 24 hours, and I said, "Meet me at Horn & Hardart" cuz I had been there at 3:00 in the morning when I was literally trying to research the character. That's one of the places I followed one guy who had I I You know, actors are crazy just like, you know, comedians.

And, you know, you you're you're looking for the right limp, you know, for forever. You're following different people.

out what's the right limp for Ratso Rizzo, and you're following people. Yes, and the guy who wrote the book, James Leo Herlihy, literally said it in the book. He says, "You're like the fifth wheel." He says, "It's like it's You're like this."

It's wobbly. Yeah. Yes, and that's the limp. That's what I was trying to get that limp. And I saw something that was extraordinary, which everybody who knows New York knows. For some reason, New Yorkers are waiting for the signal to change, and for some bizarre reason, why there can be like 20 of us there want to be the first to cross.

Yeah. Yes. Why is it still true? Still true. They want to be the For what? I I'm Look here, I got here before you guys. And I thought that that was Ratso, that he would not only get across but with his limp, he wanted to be the first one.

Yeah. And I you start to learn from little things like that, you put together who this guy is going to be.

Yeah. And then I even thought the concentration camps, and he was a survivor. And you didn't ask yourself why and how did he become a survivor?

Yeah. Because we know that there were some people who came became a survivor by giving up other people.

Yeah. But the point and I thought that's Ratso. Right. He doesn't give a Right.

He really doesn't. He just wants to be there. So it becomes more three-dimensional.

So you're He does he's not a good guy. Yeah. And I said [clears throat] and it's very easy to be heroic or something when you think about that, but you don't know what you would do if you were faced with instant death.

No. But they were going to let you live if you gave up someone else. Yeah. Um yeah. The um

Very easy to be heroic in the Well, people love to armchair quarterback later on and say, "I wouldn't do that." None of us knows

That's right. who we are when there's a gun pointing at us. That's right. And we hope not to find out.

That's right. Um so Did you ever have a gun pointed at you? I'm sorry. What? Did you ever have a gun

you're thinking of cuz you're thinking of killing me at some point. No, I'm just thinking I know what you'd be like with a gun to your head.

Please, please take Dustin Hoffman, don't take me. Did you ever have a gun pointed at you?

I've never had a gun pointed at me. Have you had a gun pointed at you? When? And props don't count.

I was having this is in my youth youth. Yeah. I was having an affair Mhm. with a married woman.

Oh. And she thought that once her husband went to sleep that he stayed asleep. Oh.

And I was invited to come over after he came he went to sleep. And there we are having a FESTIVAL OF SORTS.

AND HE WALKED IN WITH A GUN. OH. And he pointed at me. And he said, I remember what he says, "Get out. Get out." And when you have a gun pointed at it, first of all, that hole is much bigger than the actual hole, and you realize how any second, any second he's going to pull that trigger, cuz his finger is on the trigger. And you think any second he's going to You realize it's it, it's it, it's it. You're going to I'm going to die, I'm going to die the next second, the next second, the next second. And you do anything.

You will do anything, you know, to avoid Yeah. uh getting killed. jumped out the window? You ran away? Continued the festival?

No. Sir, could you come back in 5 minutes? I need Make it 7 minutes. Um there's a story in here of you making Marathon Man with Sir Laurence Olivier. And I never realized how sick Laurence Olivier was during the filming of Marathon Man. He's essentially dying. He's on a

And he knows it. He knows it. And he's on a lot of medication, pain medication. There's cancer throughout his body. He had trouble getting insurance for the film. They finally get it him uh insured. And you're shooting one of these iconic scenes, I'm going to use that word 700 times in this interview. Um you're shooting a scene with Sir Laurence Olivier, and you're doing the wide coverage, cameras are far away. And he's kind of acting out to the rafters, like he's projecting, you know, the diamonds and the diamonds, it's very loud.

And you think that's okay, the camera's got got It's a master. Yeah, it's a master.

And it keeps getting closer and closer. closer and closer. reaching for the balcony.

And the director, again, John Schlesinger, says to you I go up to him. He says, "I know, I know." He says, "I know he's over the top." That's what they say.

Yeah. But I'm not going to tell the greatest actor in the world If you want to, you [clears throat] can.

Yes. Isn't that great? I'm not going to tell Sir Laurence Olivier he's he's overacting a bit.

Right. want to, you can. So, you go up to him. Yes. And you try and do it in this very polite way, right? You make a suggestion about, you know, we could try one where we you know, maybe we use a little more of the the way we're rehearsing where we're just doing lines. We could try one like that.

just doing lines. knew exactly what you were talking about. Yes, because with all the medication, I mean, here's a guy who had three parts in repertory committed to memory, you know, what Hamlet, Macbeth, King Lear. Literally in repertory, knew all three of those word by word. And here's a guy who can't put four words together because of the medication.

Yeah. We prompt him when we're in wide shots and we get closer and closer and closer. And he we're at a break and I go up to him and I again, as I said in the book, I people call him Larry and I could not call him Larry.

Yeah. And I didn't want to say you know, sir, so I called him Lordage, you Lordage.

I love that. Yeah. And we were I said, you want to just run the lines a little bit and you know, while [clears throat] we're you know, just for the to try to keep them in his head.

Mhm. We went behind it was outdoors, so we went behind a tree or something. So we had some privacy and we're doing it and then uh I'm kind of coaching him.

Yeah. And he's [clears throat] just standing there. And I said, let's just let's just run the lines, you know, just for the I you can even look at, you know, the the the the you know, the script for the day or whatever. And he gave me this long look. And he knew

Cuz you were encouraging him, let's try it some takes. Now that the cameras are close, let's try some takes where we kind of take it down just as a fun exercise

We're talking right now that we talk We're talking right now. Let's try it like that and he knows what you're doing.

A very long look. Yeah. And he said, so you think I'm I'm playing a little too big.

Yeah, am I over the top? Yeah, are you a little over the top? And what's amazing is he looks at you and he says, thank you.

After a long beat of the eyeball to eyeball [snorts] and it makes me emotional.

Yeah. What was the second thing? thank you." Yeah. And we were very close after that. He uh It was awful what he had. He knew he was dying. And he and the Bob Evans, who was the producer some he had a genius uh when there wasn't coke coming out of his nose, you know. Cuz he And by the way, he was that was a time when you went to a party and there were lines of coke, you know, on the on the table. Everybody started, you know, I did. And it was it's By the way, it's the greatest drug in the world. There's not There's not

And I thank God that word out, by the way. No qualifiers. It's just the greatest drug.

Thank God I'm allergic because I couldn't breathe after that. I was allergic to it or I wouldn't be here now. But because you're right there, you're right there. I mean, coke was in Coca-Cola, coke was in it.

Yeah, in the original Coca-Cola, there was cocaine in there. Yes. And then And then some idiot took it out.

Yes. Yes. Yes. The original uh Twinkie was pure methadone. Cocaine used to have coke in it. Can you believe that?

Coca-Cola in it. Oh, okay. Yeah. Um You're an idiot. And so am I. And that's why we get along. Okay, this merits two parts because there's just way too much to talk about and that is your fault. Um I am thrilled that we're doing this. Uh stay tuned uh for later this week when we have part two of my incredible chat with Dustin Hoffman. You know, winning an award, that's a big achievement, right?

Yeah, I love awards. Every now and then in life, maybe something nice like that comes your way. Winning them consistently is almost impossible. It just doesn't happen.

Mhm. You know? Well, guess what? Winning five times in six years You know what that sounds like to me? Sustained excellence.

Nice. Hyundai has done just that, earning the title of America's best SUV brand for 2026 from US News and World Report. You are a very happy Hyundai driver.

a Hyundai Palisade and I love my car. I've been tooling around in a Ioniq 5 N, which I love.

Mhm. Beautiful car. Well, listen, whether you need an SUV for everyday life, your next big adventure, or extra room for family and friends, Hyundai has an option for you. The Tucson Hybrid is loaded with technology and built for everyday life. The Santa Fe Hybrid is fully capable and ready for adventure. The Palisade, that's yours, right?

Hello. to rename that the Sona. The Palisade Hybrid, yeah, delivers premium capability and class-leading interior space with available, I have this memorized, HTRAC all-wheel drive, up to an EPA-estimated 619 mi of range on vehicles like the Palisade Hybrid and Hyundai's industry-leading warranty. It's easy to see why Hyundai continues to deliver the quality, innovation, technology, and value drivers expect from an award-winning brand. View US News Best Cars at cars.usnews.com and call 562-314-4603 for complete details. Hey, let's dig into the voicemails and hear from one of our listeners.

Okay, let's do it just cuz you said that. I don't understand. I don't I'm trying to think, is there another reason we do it?

we you said we were going to do it and then you said, "Yeah, let's do it cuz you said we were going to do it."

But anyone just listening to the podcast just hears you say, "Now, let's do that." And so, yes, we will do that. I was trying to think of the natural response.

That was supernatural. natural at all. And I was trying to that this is what we will do and now we're going to do it.

And then you restated it. You're the pharaoh saying you must leave Egypt. And now we will leave Egypt.

of power? You do. You're fired. Yeah, it sounds like you were Enjoy those locusts.

Were you trying to insult him? No. I don't believe you cuz I think you were. Uh, the way you said it.

making a comment. He was kind of mocking the way I did it, you know. Well, you did it in a very, uh, you know, you will now fasten your seatbelts for we are landing and I think, uh, that was a crime in its own way.

I see. Yeah, okay. Conan. I'm spiraling fast. All right, let's let's just go ahead and play the voicemail for Christ's sake.

Hi, my name is R.C. Graham. Uh, I'm from Akron, Ohio. And I'm looking for some information that Conan, you may not have yourself, more than likely, but some members of your long-term staff might. So, my intent, uh as inspired by a video from the University of Illinois in the last couple of years, they made a couch you could drive around. And my intent is to make a desk to drive around, ala the recurring bit on Late Night. Now, I looked at a site, uh more specifically, it was a article about the auction for the last Late Night desk, and I got the dimensions at about uh 48 in by 24 in by 29 in. Hmm. But if I can get some more details, that'd be great. Like, what is that plywood? What are you using to finish that? Because, while I'm not a woodworker, I'd want to make it kind of nice, at least like a lot of your desks uh going through. They had a kind of a nice finish, but they're kind of, as I

understand it, Late Night desks are kind of crummy on the inside. I don't know if you can relate. Anyway, uh my intent is to kind of get an idea for the dimensions, get an idea for the weight, figure out the the overall material. And as an engineering student, my my goal to use it as kind of a vehicle uh to practice the mechanical aspects while I'm currently learning the uh the electricity. Uh feel free to uh answer as you please, and I hope that you're all doing okay over there.

Wow. Have fun and stay safe. Bye-bye. I put a lot of thought into my all my desks that I had over the years uh on the talk shows. Uh ash uh I would always insist on ash, um and then I would use birch. Uh I would sometimes uh use a studding, which was made of mostly a durable old English oak.

Wait, you I'm sorry, [clears throat] you you were using these to make your own desk?

I was giving the specifications. Okay. close. It wasn't 48 in, it was 48 and 1/2 in. Oh.

Oh, okay. Um I always make sure that each desk, after the woods were applied and resined uh with a high-density polymer that they were baked in a kiln

Hmm. for 7 hours. Hmm. Um the desks were valued by Lloyd's of London as having a worth of about $600,000 each.

Okay. Um, they are prized possessions. Um Let's face it. I don't know anything about these desks.

Were were Were Was it really up for auction? know anything about these desks. It does seem that it was up for auction. I found the picture here.

Did anybody buy it? Um, not sure. That's kind of crazy that your late night desk was up for auction.

Yeah, it was up for auction and then when no one bought it, they threw it in a dumpster.

And the final bid was $26,000. Wow. Yeah. Um, first of all, I don't know who would who would auction that off? Like who took it? Who sold it?

NBC. I'm looking at this auction site, you know, when you think of auction sites, you think of like Christie's, Sotheby's, Julien. This is Big Mo R. L. Spear Co. Incorporated.

Um, I'm just curious I'm I'm wondering if who's got the sticky fingers over there at NBC. Um, it doesn't matter.

Also funny, this is lot 78. It does not say your name. It just says host's desk from early era of popular late night talk show, approximately 48 by 24 by 29.

You said popular. Hey. Starting bid $1. And then the question is complicated because yes, there are some of my desks out there, I guess. Uh, there were several. There was um a thing that you could do at the NBC store for years and years cuz Andy and I would do a bit where we would get behind my desk and using green screen, we would have all these adventures driving around. And that was a lot of fun. Then NBC the NBC store turned that into an experience where you could sit and ride the desk with me. And so I've met many people over the years who said, "I was 15. I visited New York with my school. I waited in a line and I drove the desk with you and I still have the tape." Which is fun.

That's nice. That's cool. How much do you think this desk would go for? This desk as Did you make this desk?

I did not make it. Wait, first of all, Eduardo, again, props to you for designing a studio. You are a master. But uh I don't know who made the desk.

Eric Bores. Eric Bores made it. Eric made it. Yes, beautiful. Yeah, Eric's awesome.

Yeah. I can't wait for someone else to have this desk in a few years and auction it off for $800,000.

Is that how much it is? No, it's not going to get that kind of money. Who knows?

Yeah. Uh I am curious. RC asked if the inside of the desk, like obviously the facade looks fancy. Does the inside of the late night desk look crappy?

made for you, I'm assuming, right? custom made. Cuz yeah. You know what I will say about That's a good question that Adam asked. Uh the outside of the desk had sort of a a nice finish cuz it was on television. It's HD cameras, lighting, it has to look good. Not HD when we started, by the way, for years, but then we went to HD. Um as all shows did. But, what's really fascinating is if you saw the reverse angle of the desk, and like where my legs went and everything, it was I mean it was just about as down and dirty as it gets. It was It was just like a wooden slot for me to put like a handkerchief in or something and a pen.

Um and I think there was like a there might have been a a like a sort of crude trash can back there that was nailed to the side, but no finish or anything. It really was uh looked like

piece. It was a set piece, and my side of it looked like the thing had been made in 5 minutes by a a bunch of drunken rabbits.

Hm. That's cool. I'm looking at this, and I'm seeing a walnut veneer on top. Okay.

And then with a little walnut on the outside with a birch ply inset on those uh sort of things.

what it is, Tracy? Cuz that would be my guess. You're quite good. It's It's actually very good looking, and I'm wondering why we didn't bid on it. That's That's a nice looking

looking desk, and I'm surprised you don't want it. Can I just Or you didn't Not that you don't want it.

know about it. Yeah, I know. I didn't know about it. I I I didn't know that it was uh I mean, it was not my property. I guess it was NBC property, and my guess is someone came along and said, "I'll take that."

But, look at the difference in this this kind of, you know, stark lighting photo and then when you see it under the stage lights it looks so gorgeous. Look at

It was a really beautiful desk. Yeah. You know what? What's trying to get it? So it's been sold to someone Blaise, how long has it been sold for?

Uh I I think you said $25,000. 26. 26. I'll I'm going to I'm going to do a little research here and we'll see if we can get it for you.

Yeah, I mean I'm not going to put up any money. Okay. But you you just want it?

I think we're going to find out where it is and steal it. Just a heist. Oh, just a heist.

Stolen it. Heist. I didn't know stuff. I didn't know. a heist. That's our specialty.

You didn't just grab a bunch of stuff? No, I didn't. You should have. my Eisenhower mug that was on the has been on every talk show desk I ever did anything with it's and that that I kept.

You still have that and that's still I still have that. Never broke or anything?

Um it got a little cracked and we made a fake one to sub in for it. Oh, wow. Uh but I have the original.

And that other mug Greg made you. Greg Daniels made me a mug that was always on my desk.

Yeah. Um I still have that. That's a good friend. Yeah, it says I hope you fail on it.

And and the Eisenhower says that too, doesn't it? Yes. And that was from Joseph Stalin to Eisenhower.

Yeah. Um wow, okay. Well, I I don't think we helped this guy with any of his questions. Good luck to you. Go online, look at that desk and do the best you can and I do I will say Matt Gourley is very talented all around very good at woodworking. So your guess is about what it's made of are probably correct.

I guess though I can't tell totally from that because it's it's clearly been like built and then stained but for kind of TV. It's not it's not necessarily like a

Also remember to match my overall vibe it probably looked okay on camera but it's rotten to the core.

All right, good luck to you sir.

Questions about this episode

Who speaks in "Dustin Hoffman Part I (Full Episode) | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend"?

Dustin Hoffman (Guest).

What is "Dustin Hoffman Part I (Full Episode) | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend" about?

Dustin Hoffman engages in a humorous, meta-conversational bit with Conan O'Brien about friendship and miscommunication, featuring playful banter with impersonations and anecdotes, including a Vegas trip and teasing about a friend’s reactions. The segment showcases Conan’s comedic chemistry with his guests and hosts a lighthearted exchange.

What is mentioned in this Team Coco episode?

76 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Dustin Hoffman, Conan O'Brien, Look at Me, Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend, The Graduate, Mike Nichols. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "Dustin Hoffman Part I (Full Episode) | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend"?

The episode runs 1 h 7 min; the transcript is about 13,220 words in 336 timestamped sections.

More from Team Coco

About this transcript: the episode's spoken words as captioned on YouTube, split into timestamped sections. Reclip.Me locates every person, work and idea in the text, keeps the time it is first named, and quotes the words around it verbatim. Last updated November 10, 2026.