Transcript

Jon Stewart and The Best F**king News Team Cover the 2026 Midterm Elections | The Daily Show

From The Daily Show · Episode page · Watch on YouTube

· 48 min · 6,156 words · 68 timestamped sections

This is the full, timestamped transcript of "Jon Stewart and The Best F**king News Team Cover the 2026 Midterm Elections | The Daily Show", an episode of The Daily Show published November 7, 2026 (48 min, about 6,156 words). It mentions 83 people, works and ideas, including Democratic Party, Donald Trump, 2026 United States midterm elections, John Stewart, Republican Party.

What this episode is about

A satirical recap of the 2026 midterm coverage highlighting political rhetoric, broken promises, and the president’s dubious focus on symbolic, inside-baseball messaging rather than substantive issues. It underscores the absurdity of the campaign moments and media framing surrounding the elections.

Key takeaways

  • Midterms loom; this speech turns a Reflecting Pool into a photo-op of maintenance, not policy.
  • Promises vs. reality: the crowd-sourced plumbing of credibility leaks faster than the pool's blue paint.
  • Blue wave talk collides with Michigan drama; political theater outsizes substance and policy clarity.
  • Endorsements, sassy banter, and 'three ghosts' metaphor—the campaign circus redefines accountability.
  • Judaism as diverse identity, not a stereotype; policy nuance outshines blanket labels in a volatile race.

Who speaks in this episode?

What is discussed, and when

  1. – 5:00: Reflecting Pool, Washington, D.C., Donald Trump, Lincoln Memorial
  2. – 10:00: Haley Stevens, Abdul El-Sayed, Michigan, Mike Rogers
  3. – 15:00: Polling, 2026 United States midterm elections, Democratic Party, Republican Party
  4. – 20:00: New York, New York, Democratic Party, Republican Party, Margin of error
  5. – 25:00: Democratic Party, Polling, Republican Party, Kalshi
  6. – 30:00: Donald Trump Jr., Haley Stevens, J.D. Vance, Iraq
  7. – 35:00: Democratic Party, 2026 United States midterm elections, Blue Wave, Kansas
  8. – 40:00: Democratic Party, Donald Trump, 2026 United States midterm elections, Blue Wave
  9. – 45:00: Donald Trump, Republican Party, Blue Wave, MAGA
  10. – 48:12: Anthony Constantino, Donald Trump, Republican Party, Elon Musk

Notable quotes from "Jon Stewart and The Best F**king News Team Cover the 2026 Midterm Elections | The Daily Show"

  • That was the president of the United States on the day before the midterms, choosing to make a speech at the Reflecting Pool to talk about the Reflecting Pool.
    about Donald Trump · at
  • Regardless, the Democrats appear in position for a wave election, not just the House, even the Senate, as long as the remaining couple of days before the election are bombshell-less, drama-free non-earthquake-y.
    about Democratic Party · at
  • Real quick before I lose consciousness, I am endorsing the nightmare.
    about Haley Stevens · at
  • Polls are just a snapshot in time.
    about Polling · at
  • The Blue Man Group and Bluey snorted the blue meth from Breaking Bad while singing, I'm blue, da-ba-dee, da-ba-di.
    about Blue Wave · at
  • So, look, this was undoubtedly an incredible night for Democrats.
    about Texas · at
  • Jon Stewart and The Best F**king News Team host The Daily Show.
    about The Daily Show · at
  • Look, Tuesday was a bloodbath for the Republicans, and the most tragic part was that we lost so many of our most beloved MAGA characters, our favorite corrupt adulterer, Ken Paxton, America's highest-ranking concerned troll, Susan Collins,.
    about 2026 United States midterm elections · at

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

  • Donald Trump — Person · Referenced political figure · 15 mentions · first at
    Central target of satire and frequent reference as the sitting president whose policies and behavior are discussed as context for the midterms and GOP performance.
  • John Stewart — Person · Host · 6 mentions · first at
    Primary host and narrator of the episode, delivering monologue, analysis, and satire throughout the segment.
    That was Donald Trump's I Had it Cleaned speech, if you will.
  • Haley Stevens — Person · Referenced politician · 6 mentions · first at
    Mentioned for endorsing Republican Mike Rogers despite prior criticism of him — used as an example of intra-Democratic rifts and late-campaign drama.
  • Elon Musk — Person · Referenced donor/actor · 3 mentions · first at
    Mentioned for spending large sums ($446–$500 million) on Republican efforts and losing; used to comment on the high cost of modern elections.
    Tech billionaire Elon Musk, the SpaceX CEO, spent $446 million this cycle, the most any candidate has ever spent on an election.
  • J.D. Vance — Person · Referenced Republican official/VP figure · 5 mentions · first at
    Referenced as a Republican voice (Vice President in the show's satire) who commented on the war being a reason for losses — used to show intra-party finger-pointing.
    REPORTER: Vice President JD Vance, in a stunning post criticizing Republicans' tactics and trying to distance himself from the Iran war started by President Trump.
  • Abdul El-Sayed — Person · Referenced Democratic candidate · 4 mentions · first at
    Mentioned as the Democratic primary winner in Michigan; his conflict with Haley Stevens is used to discuss intra-party divisions over Israel and other issues.
    Of course, we all knew there was drama in Michigan when Senate candidate Abdul El-Sayed defeated Haley Stevens in a contentious primary for the Democratic nomination.
  • Mike Rogers — Person · Referenced Republican candidate · 4 mentions · first at
    Republican Senate candidate in Michigan referenced in relation to Haley Stevens' endorsement and as the opponent Democrats aim to defeat.
    The fight now is Abdul beating Rogers because Rogers is a nightmare.
  • Anthony Constantino — Person · Referenced politician (newly elected) · 3 mentions · first at
    Mentioned as an unconventional Republican victor in NY's 21st district, used to illustrate the changing face of GOP candidates.
    In the 21st district of New York, the Republican, Anthony Constantino, will be victorious.
  • Michael Kosta — Person · Correspondent / Daily Show team member · 4 mentions · first at
    Mentioned in episode context as celebrating Democratic wins and Elon Musk's spending; part of the show's reporting team.
    That could have been a three whole days of child support for him.
  • Ronny Chieng — Person · Correspondent / Daily Show team member · 3 mentions · first at
    Listed in episode context as handling a segment about extremes voters go through to vote; mentioned in entity list as appearing in episode.
    As the big Buffalo Bills fan, let's say, let's go!
  • Ron DeSantis — Person · Referenced politician · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as a Republican governor (Florida) responding to the GOP losses and giving commentary about governance and blame.
    So it might be worth hearing from its governor, Ron DeSantis, about what he thinks went wrong.
  • Donald Trump Jr. — Person · Referenced political surrogate (Donald Trump Jr.) · 3 mentions · first at
    Mentioned as Trump surrogate campaigning and making alarmist claims while on the stump, used for satire.
    Meanwhile, while Don Jr. was on the stump, Don Jr. Senior was doing the podcast circuit to make his case to people while they fold laundry a week after the election.
  • Vivek Ramaswamy — Person · Referenced Republican candidate · 3 mentions · first at
    Referenced as one of the Trump-aligned figures who lost (or underperformed) and as part of the discussion about MAGA personalities.
    REPORTER: His preferred Republican candidates, Ken Paxton for Senate in Texas, Vivek Ramaswamy for governor in Ohio, swamped by their Democratic opponents.
  • Anderson Cooper — Person · Referenced news anchor · 2 mentions · first at
    Referenced in a joke where Haley Stevens' interaction forced him to react; used to illustrate media personalities reacting to politicians.
    Do you see what you just did there, Haley Stevens?
  • Ken Paxton — Person · Referenced GOP figure who lost · 2 mentions · first at
    Mentioned as one of the high-profile Republicans who lost in the midterms, used as example of MAGA casualties.
    Look, Tuesday was a bloodbath for the Republicans, and the most tragic part was that we lost so many of our most beloved MAGA characters, our favorite corrupt adulterer, Ken…
  • Annie Andrews — Person · Referenced Democratic winner · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as a Democrat who defeated an incumbent in South Carolina, illustrating the surprising geographic spread of Democratic wins.
    REPORTER: In South Carolina, Democrat Annie Andrews defeating the incumbent, Darlene Graham.
  • Benjamin Netanyahu — Person · Referenced leader · 2 mentions · first at
    Real-world political figure; correct person type
    Supporting Netanyahu and their campaign in Gaza doesn't make you Jewish, although I will say this.
  • Marco Rubio — Person · Referenced politician · 2 mentions · first at
    Named in a joke listing 'best looking administration official' options; referenced as part of political commentary.
    Who is your best looking administration official?
  • Lindsey Graham — Person · Referenced incumbent politician · 2 mentions · first at
    Named as the incumbent defeated by Annie Andrews in South Carolina; used to show GOP losses in unexpected places.
    REPORTER: In South Carolina, Democrat Annie Andrews defeating the incumbent, Darlene Graham.
  • Steven Little Miller — Person · Referenced political figure · 1 mention · first at
    Referenced in a simile when describing someone's appearance; used as a cultural/political reference point in a joke.
    By the way, just because he's Jewish doesn't mean he's pro-Israel or Zionist.
  • Hannah Brandt — Person · Referenced reporter · 1 mention · first at
    Cited as the NewsNation reporter who caught up with Congresswoman Haley Stevens at the polls; provides context for the Haley Stevens coverage.
    HANNAH BRANDT: NewsNation caught up with Congresswoman Haley Stevens, as she was in here to cast her ballot for Mike Rogers.
  • George Soros — Person · Referenced financier / conspiracy trope · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned jokingly as a reason someone might vote Democrat ('George Soros pays me to'); plays on common conspiracy tropes.
    I'm not voting for Democrats because their candidates are hot.
  • Jesse Watters — Person · Referenced conservative media personality · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as an example of right-wing media reacting to voters; used to lampoon partisan responses to elections.
    In fact, I believe we have footage of Jesse Watters watching someone vote Democrat.
  • Megan Kelly — Person · Referenced media personality · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned jokingly as someone who might sass the president; used to emphasize tone and media personalities.
    But no, no, not you, Megyn Kelly.
  • Jordan Klepper — Person · Referenced correspondent / satirical figure · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned among MAGA characters and comedic correspondents; referenced in passing as part of the show's cast humor and coverage.
    But even amongst this carnage, there were some bright spots for the GOP and some potential new rising stars.
  • Andy Cohen — Person · Referenced media personality · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as a comedic comparison to Anderson Cooper to underline perceived change in tone.
    Do you see what you just did there, Haley Stevens?
  • Vladimir Putin — Person · Referenced foreign leader (satirical remark) · 1 mention · first at
    Briefly referenced as one of the figures who could be allowed to 'sass the president' (satirical aside).
    You don't sass the president unless you're Benjamin Netanyahu or Vladimir Putin.
  • Ilan Omar — Person · Referenced politician · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned in passing as a target of a joke referring to bipartisan flirtation or caucusing humor
    I can't wait to see him drive his Cybertruck down to DC, get sworn in on a Maxim magazine, and then immediately start hitting on AOC.

Companies & orgs

  • Republican Party — Company · Primary political actor / opponent · 10 mentions · first at
    The party whose midterm performance and internal reaction to losses are discussed; many Republican figures and strategies are critiqued.
    Look, Tuesday was a bloodbath for the Republicans, and the most tragic part was that we lost so many of our most beloved MAGA characters, our favorite corrupt adulterer, Ken Paxton, America's highest-ranking concerned troll, Susan Collins,.
  • CNN — Company · News organization referenced · 1 mention · first at
    Referenced as airing polls and being part of the media environment criticized for poll obsession; used as an example of mainstream media outlets.
    Breaking news, seeing blue, brand new CNN polls, brand new poll numbers.
  • Kalshi — Company · Referenced prediction market · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as a partner providing prediction-market probabilities (Kalshi) that the show uses mockingly to illustrate overconfidence in forecasts.
    Just look at some of the latest numbers from our partners at Kalshi.
  • SpaceX — Company · Company associated with Elon Musk · 1 mention · first at
    Referenced in relation to Elon Musk, who spent hundreds of millions on midterm political spending; used to identify Musk's role/affiliation.
    REPORTER: His preferred Republican candidates, Ken Paxton for Senate in Texas, Vivek Ramaswamy for governor in Ohio, swamped by their Democratic opponents.
  • Sticker Mule — Company · Background detail about candidate · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as the company owned by Anthony Constantino to characterize him as a businessman-turned-candidate.
    He has his own company called Sticker Mule.
  • News Nation — Company · News outlet cited · 1 mention · first at
    Cited as the outlet whose reporter (Hannah Brandt) interviewed Haley Stevens at the polls.
    You're getting a lot of backlash.
  • Buffalo Bills — Company · Referenced sports team · 1 mention · first at
    Sports team entity; correct classification
    As the big Buffalo Bills fan, let's say, let's go!
  • Pornhub — Company · Referenced website/service · 1 mention · first at
    Web service/entity; taxonomy aligned as organization/website
    Shit, for the first time ever, they were the most searched category on Pornhub.
  • Hinge — Company · Referenced tech/product · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as a dating app in a joke about an incoming congressman's notoriety and being unbanned from the app
    I can't wait to see him drive his Cybertruck down to DC, get sworn in on a Maxim magazine, and then immediately start hitting on AOC.
  • SUNY Binghamton — Company · Referenced institution · 1 mention · first at
    Educational institution; correct classification
    They're throwing up these poll numbers on ever-expanding screens.
  • Blue Man Group — Organization · Cultural reference · 1 mention · first at
    Cultural reference; classify as organization/brand
    The Blue Man Group and Bluey snorted the blue meth from Breaking Bad while singing, I'm blue, da-ba-dee, da-ba-di.

Products & tech

  • Cybertruck — Product · Cultural reference product · 1 mention · first at
    Used in a joke imagining Anthony Constantino driving his Cybertruck to DC; referenced as a recognizable Tesla product.
    I can't wait to see him drive his Cybertruck down to DC, get sworn in on a Maxim magazine, and then immediately start hitting on AOC.

Concepts & topics

  • Democratic Party — Concept · Primary political actor / beneficiary · 18 mentions · first at
    Framed as the winner of the midterms (blue wave), subject of discussion about coalition dynamics and electoral success.
  • Blue Wave — Concept · Result summary / framing device · 6 mentions · first at
    Used repeatedly as the dominant framing for election outcomes (massive Democratic gains) and to comedic effect throughout the episode.
  • Polling — Concept · Core topic / critique · 4 mentions · first at
    Episode criticizes media obsession with polls, highlights their volatility and past failures to predict actual outcomes, and lampoons presentation practices.
  • MAGA — Concept · Faction / ideology · 3 mentions · first at
    Describes the pro-Trump movement within the GOP; referenced regarding internal criticism and reactions after election losses.
    But even amongst this carnage, there were some bright spots for the GOP and some potential new rising stars.
  • Margin of error — Concept · Statistical critique · 2 mentions · first at
    Used to lampoon how polls are presented and to question their reliability (speaker mocks small-print margins).
    In the corner, I see margin of error plus or minus 11.
  • Electoral College — Concept · Referenced institutional concept · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as part of media/polling conversation to note limits of poll interpretation and electoral mechanisms
    No matter how hard you try, you cannot keep our news media off the poll.
  • Trump 2.0 — Concept · Political era label · 1 mention · first at
    Referenced as shorthand for the second Trump administration; used in discussion about events since that term began (unaffordability, chaos, corruption).
    Three big things have happened since President Trump 2.0 took office, unaffordability, chaos, corruption.
  • Dopamine — Concept · Psychological mechanism referenced · 1 mention · first at
    Used metaphorically to explain why audiences chase poll numbers and media click stimuli
    Because they know that is what our little reptilian brains are craving, immigration, tariffs, Iran?
  • Shellacking (political rout) — Concept · Descriptive term · 1 mention · first at
    Used to characterize the scale of the Democrats' electoral victories in the episode's recap
    Last night was election night. And ho-ho-ho-ho holy shit. Democrats sweep the country, control Congress.
  • Big Pharma — Concept · Metaphor / cultural reference · 1 mention · first at
    Used as a comparison when criticizing how media adds small disclaimers about polls — likened to Big Pharma disclaimers.
    It just feels like every election night we're always oh, the polls actually were kind of wrong.
  • Supreme Court Justice — Concept · Referenced institution · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned in a joke about political tactics (packing the Court) during a segment mocking campaign rhetoric
    They want to pack the Supreme Court.

Places & events

  • 2026 United States midterm elections — Event · Core topic · 9 mentions · first at
    Primary event around which the episode is structured — coverage, predictions, results (blue wave) and implications form the bulk of the discussion.
  • Texas — Place · Major battleground / surprising flips · 2 mentions · first at
    Referenced as a state where Democrats made unexpectedly large gains (flipped governor, statehouse, etc.), underscoring national shift.
  • Michigan — Place · Key battleground state · 4 mentions · first at
    Site of important Senate primary drama and referenced as a pivotal state in midterm discussions.
    The fight now is Abdul beating Rogers because Rogers is a nightmare.
  • Reflecting Pool — Place · Setting / satirical device · 5 mentions · first at
    Opening visual and recurring comedic device (Trump speech about the Reflecting Pool) used to mock misplaced presidential priorities on the eve of the midterms.
    Today, I'm thrilled to announce the official opening of the Lincoln Memorial reflecting pool. Now we're giving-- --in the world.
  • New York, New York — Place · Location of a notable House race · 4 mentions · first at
    Referenced multiple times in context of congressional districts and the election of Anthony Constantino in New York's 21st district.
    In the 21st district of New York, the Republican, Anthony Constantino, will be victorious.
  • Ohio — Place · Mentioned battleground state · 1 mention · first at
    Repeatedly invoked by pundits and the show as one of the pivot states that could decide the Senate or be central to the narrative.
    The path to retaking the Senate might just run through Iowa.
  • Washington, D.C. — Place · Seat of federal government / reference point · 7 mentions · first at
    Referenced as the location of the Oval Office and centers of political power; used contextually when discussing executive orders and governance.
    One of the most frustrating things for me, as the White House Press Secretary, was the bias of omission from the mainstream media.
  • Kansas — Place · Mentioned battleground / surprising outcomes · 5 mentions · first at
    Referenced as an example where Democrats won seats historically unlikely to flip (Senate example) and to illustrate breadth of Democratic gains.
    The last time Kansas elected a Democratic Senator, that Senator was born in the year the light bulb was invented.
  • South Carolina — Place · State-level result example · 4 mentions · first at
    Referenced as a surprising Democratic flip (Annie Andrews) and as a state where NYT poll shocked Republicans.
    REPORTER: In South Carolina, Democrat Annie Andrews defeating the incumbent, Darlene Graham.
  • Lincoln Memorial — Place · Setting (referenced in satire) · 3 mentions · first at
    Location of the mocked presidential speech and used as framing device for the episode's opening satire.
    Today, I'm thrilled to announce the official opening of the Lincoln Memorial reflecting pool. Now we're giving-- --in the world.
  • Israel — Place · Policy / foreign relations topic · 3 mentions · first at
    Referenced in relation to intra-Democratic disputes (El-Sayed criticism) and discussions about balancing Israeli security and Palestinian tragedy.
    With Israel and what emphasis our leaders should be placing on their safety and how to balance concerns for the tragedy for Palestinians with real concerns about antisemitism.
  • Alaska — Place · Referenced swing state / race example · 2 mentions · first at
    Cited among states that could decide Senate control and referenced later as a race Democrats pulled ahead in after midterms.
    They pulled ahead in the Alaska Senate race, and they're even-- sure, they're even on the cusp of winning a Senate seat in Mississippi.
  • Iowa — Place · Referenced swing state · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as one of multiple pivotal states where Senate control could be decided; used to illustrate media focus on specific states.
    If you want to focus in on one state, it is Ohio.
  • Iran war (2026) — Event · Policy issue / reason for electoral backlash · 1 mention · first at
    Referenced as a cause JD Vance cited for Republican losses — used to frame war policy as electorally consequential.
    Three big things have happened since President Trump 2.0 took office, unaffordability, chaos, corruption.
  • Iraq — Place · Referenced foreign policy example · 2 mentions · first at
    Referenced in jokes comparing voting machine jams to the 'current war in Iraq' and in commentary about war; used to critique policy failures.
    Everything from the border to the war in Iraq to just the fraud.
  • Gaza — Place · Referenced geopolitical area · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned in the context of debates over Israel and Palestinian tragedy and the impact on Democratic coalition dynamics.
    With Israel and what emphasis our leaders should be placing on their safety and how to balance concerns for the tragedy for Palestinians with real concerns about antisemitism.
  • Mississippi — Place · Referenced Senate race · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as a state where Democrats were on the cusp of winning a Senate seat, highlighting nationwide Democratic gains.
    They pulled ahead in the Alaska Senate race, and they're even-- sure, they're even on the cusp of winning a Senate seat in Mississippi.
  • Florida — Place · Republican holdout · 1 mention · first at
    Referenced as the one GOP stronghold that held firm and as the place where the blue wave 'went to die.'
    Much like most of its residents, Florida is where the blue wave went to die.
  • Maine — Place · Referenced state · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as one of several states the media cycles through when discussing possible paths to Senate control; used as comedic example.
    If you want to focus in on one state, it is Ohio.
  • Idaho — Place · Referenced state ballot example · 1 mention · first at
    Used as a humorous aside about Idaho voters choosing an official state firearm; illustrates cultural differences across states in ballot measures.
    Continuing with our election coverage, Idaho voters also weighed in on a proposed official state firearm.
  • Washington — Place · Referenced location (seat of government) · 1 mention · first at
    Used when discussing Republican losses and political power concentrated in federal institutions and Washington politics
    This was a rejection of Republicans in Washington.
  • Cancun — Place · Referenced travel destination · 1 mention · first at
    Location entity; appropriate as location
    At least until 2:30, when my flight to Cancun takes off.
  • Guam — Place · Comparative reference · 1 mention · first at
    Location entity; appropriate as location
    Also, once a state gives us JD Vance and Vivek Ramaswamy, it should be at least downgraded to whatever Guam is.
  • Massachusetts — Place · Referenced state · 1 mention · first at
    Location name used as reference in dialogue
    Although, just to be clear, it's not like the whole country is now that lesbian bar in Massachusetts.

Media & podcasts

  • The Daily Show — Media · Producing program · 3 mentions · first at
    The show presenting the episode; host Jon Stewart and the team use satire to analyze midterms.
  • Fargo — Media · Cultural reference · 1 mention · first at
    Used as a comedic comparison to describe the oddity of Haley Stevens endorsing Mike Rogers.
    What could have driven, somewhat erratically-- What could have driven Haley Stevens into the arms of the Rogers campaign?
  • Maxim — Media · Referenced media outlet · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned humorously as an inappropriate swearing-in platform for an elected official in a comedic bit
    I can't wait to see him drive his Cybertruck down to DC, get sworn in on a Maxim magazine, and then immediately start hitting on AOC.
  • Curb Your Enthusiasm — Media · Cultural reference · 1 mention · first at
    Used as an example of a Jewish cultural reference in a joke about intra-community disputes.
    You see, in Judaism there is reform, conservative, Orthodox, and Curb Your Enthusiasm plot line.
  • Caddyshack — Media · Cultural reference · 1 mention · first at
    Referenced in a joke about inconsistent reactions when hyped then doubted (woo/buh); used for comedic effect.
    Then he can't go, but what about that herpes virus?
  • Bluey — Media · Cultural reference · 1 mention · first at
    Referenced in a comedic image describing the 'blueness' of the election results.
    The Blue Man Group and Bluey snorted the blue meth from Breaking Bad while singing, I'm blue, da-ba-dee, da-ba-di.
  • Breaking Bad — Media · Cultural reference · 1 mention · first at
    Referenced in a comedic mash-up (Blue Man Group and Bluey snorted the blue meth from Breaking Bad) to emphasize the overwhelming 'blue' theme of the election result.
    The Blue Man Group and Bluey snorted the blue meth from Breaking Bad while singing, I'm blue, da-ba-dee, da-ba-di.
  • Deliverance — Media · Cultural reference · 1 mention · first at
    Used as a comedic shorthand for a remote/conservative town that unexpectedly elected a progressive candidate.
    You remember that town in Deliverance?

Full transcript with timestamps

[THEME MUSIC] Big story-- midterms. I know. [SHRIEKS] But it's closing arguments time. And today, the president took to the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool to make his final case to the voters. I've kept every single promise I made except far more. I've actually kept far more promises than I made.

That is not possible dimensionally in this realm. Now, dementia-ly. Yes, that may be possible, but not-- not dementia-ly. Boom. But you know what? I'm sorry. In the shadow of the Lincoln Memorial with the echoes of Dr. King's "I Have a Dream" speech, please lay out for the American people what you think is most important for them to know. And if you could include visual aids, that-- that-- that would be so appreciated. Today, I'm thrilled to announce the official opening of the Lincoln Memorial reflecting pool. Now we're giving-- --in the world.

It's almost as tall as two Empire State Buildings. We resurfaced the bottom in a beautiful dark blue, very dark blue. They call it "American Flag Blue," but it's very dark. This is painted blue for purposes of-- it was all rusted. And we fixed the granite. We recaulked it. All of this has been years here where you couldn't see any water. It was just algae. And it had a bad aroma, to put it mildly. This is a massive piece of, uh-- piece of pool.

Good night, everybody. Um, that's just-- I'm just-- I don't even-- I don't even know what to-- just to be clear-- I just want to be clear. That is not AI. That was not artificial intelligence. That was not artificial intelligence, or, really, I think you would agree, any kind of intelligence. That was the president of the United States on the day before the midterms, choosing to make a speech at the Reflecting Pool to talk about the Reflecting Pool. No symbolism, no metaphors, just straight-up pool maintenance. That was Donald Trump's "I Had it Cleaned" speech, if you will.

I-- I-- I have been to the Reflecting Pool. But with the president's priorities so badly misplaced, it is no wonder what the expectation is for tomorrow. REPORTER: An electoral bloodbath. There is the blue wave coming. It's going to be a deluge. A blue tsunami. Blue bomb cyclone. Because Latino voters, this is going to be a blue wave and a brown tsunami.

Is she allowed to say that? And isn't a brown tsunami what ruined the reflecting pool in the first place? Or is it-- no, no, no, wait. Regardless, the Democrats appear in position for a wave election, not just the House, even the Senate, as long as the remaining couple of days before the election are bombshell-less, drama-free non-earthquake-y. REPORTER: A bombshell out of Michigan. A stunning last-minute shakeup. REPORTER: A political earthquake in Michigan's Senate race. Drama in Michigan. Drama? In Michigan? Well, frost my flakes!

I mean, of course, we all knew there was drama in Michigan when Senate candidate Abdul El-Sayed defeated Haley Stevens in a contentious primary for the Democratic nomination. But Stevens has always been very clear as to their shared goal of defeating Republican Senate candidate Mike Rogers. Mike Rogers has shown that he's just going to go along with whatever Donald Trump does. He's not going to speak out when erratic tariffs are impacting our auto industry. He wants to just continue on, rubber stamp Trump. The fight now is Abdul beating Rogers because Rogers is a nightmare.

Can I tell you something? There is nothing that sounds bad in a Michigan accent. So what's the problem? What's the bombshell? [CROWD BOOS] Is her car in a ditch? Is she endorsing Mike Rogers after getting in a car accident? Real quick before I lose consciousness, I am endorsing the nightmare. What the [BLEEP] happened? This is like the most diabolical episode of Fargo I've ever seen. What could have driven, somewhat erratically--

What could have driven Haley Stevens into the arms of the Rogers campaign? But Abdul made very clear that I was not welcome in his campaign, that he didn't need me there, that he didn't want me there. I understand that. I did endorse the Democratic nominee, and he chose to close his campaign by saying I wasn't welcome. I've never been invited to a campaign event. That's fine. He's busy. He's running all around. I've had primaries before myself. It's not about that.

It does sound like it's about that, I have to say. But that says why you're mad at Abdul but not why you're for Rogers. Rogers is-- hold on, let me find the word-- a nightmare, who is against every principle you've worked for your entire career. I mean, at least say you were visited by three ghosts who convinced you that it turns out people don't need health insurance. This can't really be about getting your feelings hurt. You wanted to be at a public event with him up until some point, I guess, yesterday. And it's just an interesting change.

And I think a lot of people are curious to try to understand it. Was that a question, Anderson? Or-- No, I wanted to see if you wanted to fill in the silence, but you don't. - Oh. Yeah. Do you see what you just did there, Haley Stevens? Are you happy with yourself? All that sass. You just turned Anderson Cooper into Andy Cohen. Is that what you wanted? He didn't want to sass you. He's a newsman. He doesn't want to sass you. You gave him no choice but to sass. Now, to be fair, there is a rift here. El-Sayed has been very critical of Israel.

And obviously, Stevens, as also some other Jewish people in Michigan, have been upset by that. I am not Jewish. What the [BLEEP]? For reals? But then why all the Michiganas? Her fiance is Jewish. Oh, the fiance is Jewish. That I buy.

The guy looks like I tried to draw Stephen Miller from memory. By the way, just because he's Jewish doesn't mean he's pro-Israel or Zionist. Judaism is not a monolith. Supporting Netanyahu and their campaign in Gaza doesn't make you Jewish, although I will say this. Throwing away all of your personal and professional relationships over a perceived personal slight, that's pretty Jewish. We do do that. That's-- if I may, that is pretty, pretty, pretty-- That's got big aunt who wasn't asked to light a candle at bar mitzvah energy.

You see, in Judaism there is reform, conservative, Orthodox, and Curb Your Enthusiasm plot line. You didn't invite me to the party? You didn't invite me to the party? Well, then I am now for deportation, deportation. I say deport, deport. Man, this split between Haley and Abdul, it raises all sorts of uncomfortable questions about the ability for one issue to split a nascent Democratic coalition. It even brings up this country's relationship with Israel and what emphasis our leaders should be placing on their safety and how to balance concerns for the tragedy for Palestinians with real concerns about antisemitism.

These are real, nuanced, complex issues. I wonder how our news media will discuss them. The big question now, how are voters going to react, and will it impact the polls? Doh! Oh, right, the polls. The polls. No matter how hard you try, you cannot keep our news media off the poll. And I know they might say, oh, we're working our way through the electoral college. No. Being on the poll is a choice. And yes, with the Stevens story, as with every story, nuance and complexity matter less than what do the numbers say? Because they know that that is what our little reptilian brains are craving, immigration, tariffs, Iran?

We don't care. What's the score? These numbers are absolutely staggering and very bad for Republicans. REPORTER: New polls today, giving Democrats something to cheer about as we inch closer to the midterm elections. A new wave of polling and race ratings has Republicans in a fresh panic. Breaking news, seeing blue, brand new CNN polls, brand new poll numbers. The Republican freakout is here. Ooh, boy, brand new polling.

Oh my god, thank you. I am so sorry I flipped out on you guys. But here's the question. What if the polls are wrong? Are you [BLEEP] kidding me right now? You mother-- the big polls, woo! Woo! You can't say woo and then buh. It's woo. It's not buh. It's not both. It's like at the end of Caddyshack when he goes, hey, everybody's gonna get laid. Then he can't go, but what about that herpes virus? That's something. You can't do that. But that's what they do. That's the media's little game. They prey on our emotions. We're like little rats in a maze, getting that dopamine hit.

We're like college kids waiting for that acceptance to come on through. Come on! Come on, SUNY Binghamton, let's go! They're throwing up these poll numbers on ever-expanding screens. It's a giant screen. It's an even bigger screen. It's an even bigger screen! They're even doing big screens that are controlled by little screens.

And they wouldn't put up speculative nonsense in IMAX. Something that large can't be wrong because the very presentation is a vouch. News organizations are granting these numbers credence by the very fashion-forward and relentless way in which they report on them. (QUIETLY) But every now and again, in the quiet of the night, when the media tire of toying with the emotional wreckage that is their audience, they do tend to offer a Big Pharma-like disclaimer that would be nice if they made a little bigger. It just feels like every election night we're always like, oh, the polls actually were kind of wrong.

We should all distrust the polls until we get to the election. It's undersampling voters. We've seen polls overestimate Democrats. A lot of people do not answer polls. Who responds to polls is meant to be random, but it's not always random. Polls are just a snapshot in time. They don't tell you what's going to happen. They are not predictors of anything. In the corner, I see margin of error plus or minus 11. Then why the [BLEEP] are we looking at them? Why are you showing them to us? Why are you talking about them constantly?

Why? Plus or minus 11? In the corner? Why isn't that the biggest number? Or better yet, why isn't that the number that makes you go, I'm not going to show this shit on television? And by the way, why are they the only mother [BLEEP] who get a margin of error? The rest of us don't get a margin of error. This utilities check is for $217, plus or minus 11. Of course I'm having safe sex. I always use Zero Holes Condoms.

Plus or minus 11. For my own blood pressure, can you at least tell me which unreliable numbers I should be focusing on? The path to retaking the Senate might just run through Iowa. Fine. Iowa. All right, fine. At least that focuses it. Iowa it is. The path to the Senate majority very much runs through Maine.

They're not even close. OK, fine. Maine. Got it. North Carolina could decide control of the upper chamber. South Carolina could decide which party takes the Senate. Could the path to a Democratic Senate Majority run through Kansas? If you want to focus in on one state, it is Ohio. So goes Ohio, so goes the Senate, so goes the nation. So goes Texas, so goes the country. It is all about Michigan. And it all comes down to Alaska.

I'm just going to go. I don't-- you-- So the Senate comes down to the states. And you know what? Even those that pride themselves as polling skeptics cannot resist its siren song. This program ignores most polls, most of the time. I have stated time and time again that I don't believe polls. I don't trust polls. Go on. Boy, the polls that The New York Times published late last night, a shock. But The New York Times poll is one of the gold standard polls, and today's New York Times poll of the South Carolina Senate race has shocked Republicans in South Carolina.

Oh! Oh, that's true. These people, they don't even believe in polls! Polls are fly-by-night, Oh, but The New York Times, gold standard. By the way, did you read the article about what The New York Times itself said about its own [BLEEP] polls? I've got the copy right here. It sometimes comes on paper. Let's see their conclusion about their own polls, which I will be reading for real.

This is what they said about their own gold standard polls! They said their own polls could either be, and I quote, "Dead-on," or they could underestimate Democrats, or they could underestimate Republicans!

In other words, even The New York Times is saying, it's a poll. Or it's a hat. Or maybe it's a brooch. Or maybe it's a pterodactyl. And let me tell you something right now. The only thing worse than your [BLEEP] relentless, incessant coverage of polls is when you make it fun. It's so fun. Aren't the polls (WHISPERS) fun? This is the types of numbers that should absolutely be scary! Scary! As the big Buffalo Bills fan, let's say, let's go! It's always a roll of the dice when it comes to these Senate races. You got to put on some shades to understand these numbers.

Number one, number one, I'm talking about this baby, yeah. Yeah, it's raining in here. It's raining. Please, please. No, no, no. Yes, there is some caution. [BLEEP]! It's not fun. It's not fun. It's not cute. I don't know if you know this, but enthusiastic bullshit is still bullshit. Now, I appreciate guys like Harry Enten giving us the numbers to ease the anxiety that we all feel from guys like Harry Enten giving us the numbers. But the schizophrenic nature, the roller coaster ride, is unbearable. Here I am, 8:30 in the morning, trying to just get on with my day.

The Democratic lead, it is building. These are numbers that Democrats should be salivating over. Democrats very much on their way, a staircase to potential electoral heaven. Wow. In a regime that began on an escalator to hell, a staircase to potential electoral heaven would be most welcome. Thank you. And I'm sure when I check back in on you 75 minutes later, on the same day, that's still the case. Hold on a second here because we've seen this dance before. And it was not a dance that Democrats like when the votes were actually cast.

If history holds in terms of the GOP outperforming their September polls, well, there's a very, very strong chance that Republicans hold on the United States Senate. Now, what the [BLEEP] was the staircase, with the heaven and the stairs, and-- oh, well, the numbers say we're dropping you into a field of ice cream and blowjobs. But if history is any guide, both are being given by Mitch McConnell.

Yup. Look, it would be one thing if after months of breathless, semi-informed speculation, the polls actually turned out to be right. But if history holds-- If you're hoping that I had landed on exactly why things went wrong, I have not. It just seems to me that the polling did not accurately reflect what was occurring. We have to be really honest in the polling profession that there were some real mistakes made in this election and big misses. I was wrong. We were wrong. We were wrong. I don't have egg on my face, I have omelet.

We've really taken the hood off to look at what we did. That model probably needs a complete overhaul. It was a big surprise. Nobody anticipated it. No polls predicted it. No one saw it coming. How did that happen? REPORTER: Why did the polls miss by so much? About the only way you can get something right on the nose is through dumb luck. The polls turned out to be about as reliable as a fan magazine account of a Hollywood starlet's rise to fame.

You've been wrong since you could still smoke on the news. Look, an election is an emotional time. The next couple of days will determine the future of our health care, our economy, and the state of our reflecting pools. The news should be soothing our nerves with information and context, not amplifying them with speculation you admit has little value. So to the cable news media, I am begging you, please reconsider spending so much of your valuable pre-election airtime hyping up polls that you know to be unreliable.

I can't think of anything more corrosive to your viewers' well-being. REPORTER: Well, forget about the polls for a second. Just look at some of the latest numbers from our partners at Kalshi. Oh my [BLEEP] god. No, Harry. Harry. Harold. Harry. Don't you dare. You could see this right here in the Kalshi prediction market. Look where we were a month ago. We were at 60% chance. Now, we're talking about a very nice 69. You son of a bitch. 69, huh? You old dog. All right, I guess that might not be so bad. Wait, who's the 6?

No! Well, this is it, people. The midterms are finally here. Are you excited? Yeah! Yeah, you are, you bunch of nerds. All across the country today, millions of people who are too stupid to vote early flooded their local high school gyms to make their voices heard. And of course, because this is America, there were the usual obstacles in the way, fears of intimidation, voting machines that didn't work, and in one particular case, some very big distractions. In Kansas, election officials say a woman went into labor while voting early.

At one point, the contractions were coming about every five minutes, but she was determined to get that ballot cast. Yeah. Let's go. That is either a woman who really cares about democracy or a baby who really wanted to vote illegally. Look, lady, I know your vote matters, but it's also statistically insignificant, so it's OK to skip it if you're pushing a baby out of your vagina. But it just goes to show you how much people care about voting. Sometimes it's from a sense of civic duty. Other times it's because they just really support what this great president has been doing.

I've just been following Trump the whole time. I really think he's doing an awesome job. Everything from the border to the war in Iraq to just the fraud. The fraud has been incredible. Is this guy being sarcastic? I don't know what's happening. OK, I don't know what this guy meant to say, but he is correct. The fraud has been incredible. Also, I don't know what this guy meant to say, but did he say the war in Iraq? This guy's like 10 seasons behind on America. No one spoil it for him. It doesn't end great. Anyway, always good to get the opinions of voters who have a 50/50 chance of getting their junk stuck in the voting machine.

I can't get it out. It's a quagmire, just like our current war in Iraq. Of course, it wasn't just everyday Americans voting, it was also America's sorest losers. HANNAH BRANDT: NewsNation caught up with Congresswoman Haley Stevens, as she was in here to cast her ballot for Mike Rogers. You're getting a lot of backlash. Does it feel worth it to have endorsed Mike Rogers today? Any comment at all about you're feeling? Look, I'm with my mom. We're-- I hear you. This is our tradition here. (MOCKING HALEY STEVENS) Yeah, me and my mom have this tradition where we betray all our core values, then put on a hat that looks like a giant Pringle.

Please respect our privacy at this time. Leave Haley Stevens alone. She just wants to have a lovely day with her mom. And then, after some quiet reflection, push her in front of a speeding bus. But even as voters headed to the polls to cast their vote and crack their heads slipping on amniotic fluid, politicians were still traveling the country, making their final pitch, like Don Jr., presidential son and cumbass who somehow let Kimberly Guilfoyle get away. He stopped in Ohio yesterday to warn them what would happen if Democrats took Congress.

They want to-- What is it? Save democracy by destroying democracy. They want to pack the Supreme Court. They want to make Ohio a state. Guys. Look, we don't always see eye to eye, but Don Jr. is right. OK. Politics aside, Ohio should not be a state. It's going to change the demographics of this country, and they're never going to assimilate into our culture. Also, once a state gives us JD Vance and Vivek Ramaswamy, it should be at least downgraded to whatever Guam is. Meanwhile, while Don Jr. was on the stump, Don Jr. Senior was doing the podcast circuit to make his case to people while they fold laundry a week after the election.

Because even after two years of midterm campaigning, there are still important questions to be asked. Now, two last questions quickly. Who is your best looking administration official? Is it JD Vance, Marco Rubio, Scott Bessent? Which one of those three? Or is there someone else? [SIGHING] OK, actually, you know what, there are no more important questions to be asked. We are done here. Also, that's a demeaning question that no one should have to answer. But if you ask me, I would [BLEEP] JD Vance, marry Marco Rubio, and kill myself.

Look. Thank you for cheering for my suicide. Look, I'm not going to tell anyone how to vote. Mostly because if you haven't voted yet, it's too late. The polls are closed. But I will say that if the Democrats do retake power, at least Democrats will finally have a dominant party that is focused on serious issues and not how hot their candidates are.

Yeah. Some of those are pity hots. OK, that's-- not to call anyone out specifically, but you know how sometimes there's like a group photo of hotties, where the overall average is definitely giving one person a boost? That's Troy Jackson, OK? This is so stupid. I'm not voting for Democrats because their candidates are hot. I'm voting for them because George Soros pays me to. Besides, good leadership has nothing to do with being hot. Have you seen the founding fathers? There's a reason their main dating pool was their own slaves, OK?

[AUDIENCE GROANING] So-- yeah, that's right. Slavery is bad. Last night was election night. And ho-ho-ho-ho holy shit. Democrats sweep the country, control Congress. A stunning shift sending shock waves. A once in a generation realignment. A massive rout. This was a shellacking. Is it a shellacking? Is it a spanking? It's called a country ass whooping, A seismic political earthquake. A blue wave. Massive blue wave, a blue-nami. That was a blue tsunami wrapped in a cat 5 hurricane. This is a volcanic eruption of blue Crayola.

Ah, it's so blue! The Blue Man Group and Bluey snorted the blue meth from Breaking Bad while singing, I'm blue, da-ba-dee, da-ba-di. The point is, it was blue. Yes, last night was a blue-nami a blubonic plague, a bluclear bomb resulting in blue-billion human blasulities. Look, Democrats didn't just win the midterms yesterday. They made the midterms their bitch. They won the Senate. They won the House. They won governors' races. They won best animated picture. They won the rigged claw machine at the arcade. Shit, for the first time ever, they were the most searched category on Pornhub.

I mean, talk about blue balls. But it wasn't just how much the Democrats won that was surprising. It was where they won. REPORTER: In South Carolina, Democrat Annie Andrews defeating the incumbent, Darlene Graham. The state hasn't elected a Democrat since 1998. Texas has not had a Senator who is a Democrat since 1988. The last time Kansas elected a Democratic Senator, that Senator was born in the year the light bulb was invented. Wow. The year of the light bulb-- that's huge. And now, with a Democrat in charge, it may be possible to finally bring that technology to Kansas.

And just to give you a sense of how crazy this is, up until yesterday, this was the last Democrat elected to the Senate from Kansas. It was so long ago, they still thought a tie should go down to your nipples. But yes, Democrats weren't just cleaning up in blue states. They were winning seats in some of the most conservative places in America. You remember that town in Deliverance? Last night, they elected a gay, Black socialist. So this was a historic night. In a lot of ways, it was America speaking loudly against endless wars, corruption, immigration cruelty, and to some degree, ballrooms.

And it was also historic because of how expensive it was. Tech billionaire Elon Musk, the SpaceX CEO, spent $446 million this cycle, the most any candidate has ever spent on an election. $500 million? There is no way Democrats could beat that. REPORTER: His preferred Republican candidates, Ken Paxton for Senate in Texas, Vivek Ramaswamy for governor in Ohio, swamped by their Democratic opponents. Aww.

Poor Elon. Half a billion and absolutely nothing to show for it. I mean, that could have been a three whole days of child support for him. Although I'd like to thank him for making the rest of us look great with money. Right? Now when my wife is mad that I bought that new wave runner I can be like, well, at least I didn't spend $500 million trying to get a sloppy pervert elected in Texas. So, look-- Yeah, sloppy pervert. So, look, this was undoubtedly an incredible night for Democrats. Although, just to be clear, it's not like the whole country is now that lesbian bar in Massachusetts.

And in some places, it's still the same old America as always. Continuing with our election coverage, Idaho voters also weighed in on a proposed official state firearm. The ballot gave voters six historic and modern firearms to choose from Oh, wow. Well, it's nice to see the right to choose is alive and well in Idaho. In case you're wondering, the Winchester 1873 came in first. The losing gun went to the bathroom and put a smaller version of itself in its mouth.

But as excited as Democrats were for last night's blue fast, blue furious, it was just as devastating for Republicans. And so, last night was the time for some honest self-reflection from Trump supporters to figure out what went wrong. In some sense, Mr. Trump was too successful in the first year and didn't sell it enough in the second year. Of course, he didn't sell it enough. Because if there's one thing we know about Donald Trump, it's that he hates flaunting his own success. Oh, Donald, your great undoing was your humility.

Does anyone want to be a little more realistic about why this loss was so monumental? One of the most frustrating things for me, as the White House Press Secretary, was the bias of omission from the mainstream media. The president would sign an amazing executive order in the Oval Office that is helping people, that is uplifting people. The mainstream media wouldn't cover it. Yes, of course. Hey, of course. If only the people had seen the amazing, uplifting, transformative executive orders that Trump gifted us, like these.

We're going to be changing the name of Lake Ontario, effective immediately, to Lake America. [CROWD BOOING] I'm going to sign an executive order to ensure that the second Saturday in December is preserved forever for the Army-Navy game. Yes. Yes. Thanks to Donald Trump, we can now use plastic straws when siphoning gas out of our neighbor's car because we can't afford it. You guys recognize how bad a loss this was, right? [CROWD CHEERING] You're not going to pretend that this is normal, are you? Don't be discouraged because this is normal.

This is what happens usually in a midterm. What you're seeing is historically, the party in power loses the midterms. History matters. Midterms are very, very predictable. Come on. Yes, typically, the president's party loses some ground in the midterms. You guys lost Kansas. You lost Texas. You couldn't even get South Carolina to vote for Lindsey Graham's sister-widow. It's one thing to say that lots of couples have messy breakups. It's another thing to say that if you're OJ. Now-- [CROWD GROANS] That's where we draw the line, Michael.

Can anyone give me a sane, coherent explanation of why Trump lost? Or if not, can anyone give me the most insane explanation they can think of? I have tried to salvage Trump. I've not been sure. I invested so much. Maybe I was blind to it. I think he's the ultimate Democrat sleeper cell and he works for them. He is a Democrat. And I'll admit it. I was wrong. What about a long game, though? 10 years of this to [BLEEP] us at the end? Oh, [KISS] yes. It's two days since the midterms wrapped up and the blue wave continues to wash over America.

The Democrats are up to 252 house seats and counting. They pulled ahead in the Alaska Senate race, and they're even-- sure, they're even on the cusp of winning a Senate seat in Mississippi. I will say, I didn't even know Mississippi had Democrats. It's like finding out McDonald's serves a risotto. It just doesn't seem right. And over in Texas, Democrats flipped everything. They flipped the governor. Yeah, they flipped the governor. They flipped the State House. They even flipped George Strait. He's George Gay now.

It's the blue wave, a blue wave. It's a huge victory for Democrats, but a somber time for the few Republican survivors. Texas is blue. That-- that is a hard sentence to utter. As we sit here today, I am the only statewide elected Republican who remains in Texas. At least until 2:30, when my flight to Cancun takes off. I mean, this video was so dramatic. He makes it sound like he's taking shelter in a zombie apocalypse. If you're watching this video, it's probably too late. I may already be a trans Muslim. But, although Texas was the biggest loss for the GOP, Republicans all over the country are just now coming to grips with how devastating the wave was.

This is the end of the Trump era, last night. We're done. It was a blue tsunami. It was an ass-kicking. This is close to an extinction level event. The coalition totally collapsed. I mean, you lost some whites. Whites! Whites! Whites! The only people we care about, whites. He sounds like me when the laundromat [BLEEP] up my clothes. I said whites, whites! All my underwear is pink now. In fact, I believe we have footage of Jesse Watters watching someone vote Democrat. He's white. Yeah. Now, the only Republican stronghold that held firm was Florida.

Much like most of its residents, Florida is where the blue wave went to die. So it might be worth hearing from its governor, Ron DeSantis, about what he thinks went wrong. I think some of the losses probably could have been mitigated with better governance. This was a rejection of Republicans in Washington. Whoa, whoa, whoa. It-- it kind of sounds like you're criticizing President Trump here. I mean, come on now. This is your guy. This is your brand. You have a decade of merch and idolatry behind him. You-- you don't want to turn on him just because of one little generational collapse.

So time to lock in. Right-wing media, hit that refrain. President Trump was right about everything. None should be spared from blame, starting at the top with Trump himself. Three big things have happened since President Trump 2.0 took office, unaffordability, chaos, corruption. They're going to have to learn how to win without daddy on the ballot. Trump sent out a post this morning reminding us that he is still our president. Eh.

Eh? Eh? Is she sassing the president? You don't sass the president unless you're Benjamin Netanyahu or Vladimir Putin. But no, no, not you, Megyn Kelly. This is becoming an actual crisis. If Trump's base is abandoning him, his inner circle has got to close ranks. JD Vance, you're Trump's constitutionally appointed wingman. Back up your boy. REPORTER: Vice President JD Vance, in a stunning post criticizing Republicans' tactics and trying to distance himself from the Iran war started by President Trump. Vance bluntly writing, "the reason we lost is the war."

Wow. I will say I applaud JD Vance for having the courage to come out against the war one day after 70 million voters came out against the war. President Trump, this is becoming an existential crisis. Everyone is abandoning you. This is the time to come out and show us that you have the focus, the vision, and full command over the direction of where the country is going. Our country is more successful now than at any time in its history. Watch the beam go up.

OK. It seems like you're kind of focused on other things here. Look, Tuesday was a bloodbath for the Republicans, and the most tragic part was that we lost so many of our most beloved MAGA characters, our favorite corrupt adulterer, Ken Paxton, America's highest-ranking concerned troll, Susan Collins, and of course, Indian Jordan Klepper, Vivek Ramaswamy. But-- so attractive. But even amongst this carnage, there were some bright spots for the GOP and some potential new rising stars. In the 21st district of New York, the Republican, Anthony Constantino, will be victorious.

REPORTER: A rather unconventional candidate, he is a very successful businessman. He has his own company called Sticker Mule. He's also a wrestler and a rapper. Wow. He's not your grandpa's Republican. He's your cousin "who can't see his kids anymore" Republican. Now, you might be thinking, wow, that is a lot of cursing from a guy who wants to be in Congress. But now that he's been elected, I'm sure his victory speech will be much more gracious and dignified. Evil media would not tell you what I did. Listen, you scumbags.

[BLEEP] Yeah. Listen, you scumbags, I had to listen to you assholes. You're a bunch of [BLEEP] assholes. Look at that asshole right there, him. Look at that guy. You're a bunch of assholes. Kate Lisa, another [BLEEP] asshole. I want to be clear with you. I'm not a politician. Yeah, yeah. No, I can tell. We can tell from the number of times you called people assholes in your victory speech. But you know what? Maybe-- maybe he's right. Maybe everyone in the audience is a total asshole. My consultants are a little stressed out right now.

They're like, we've never heard this before. It's OK. It's a new day in America. Anyway, I hear some asshole in the crowd is turning 10 today. Happy [BLEEP] birthday. Hey. Happy [BLEEP] birthday. Congratulations. You know what? Look, maybe-- maybe the Republicans deserve credit because it takes courage to elect the first jabroni American to Congress. I can't wait to see him drive his Cybertruck down to DC, get sworn in on a Maxim magazine, and then immediately start hitting on AOC. Hey, Omar, you bipartisan? A lot of girls are nowadays, you know.

Come on, let's caucus. Let's do it. But maybe he's got some big plans for when he gets to DC. First, obviously, will be getting himself unbanned from hinge, but after that, what's on his agenda, affordability, health care? I got to say this. I know it's already been asked, but I think President Trump should consider freeing Diddy. Now, little girl in the front, let me explain what a freak off is, OK? Look, all right, don't worry, though. America-- America, please don't worry. I'm sure he won't be in Congress for long.

I hear President Trump is looking for a new secretary of war. [THEME MUSIC]

Questions about this episode

Who speaks in "Jon Stewart and The Best F**king News Team Cover the 2026 Midterm Elections | The Daily Show"?

Jon Stewart (Host).

What is "Jon Stewart and The Best F**king News Team Cover the 2026 Midterm Elections | The Daily Show" about?

A satirical recap of the 2026 midterm coverage highlighting political rhetoric, broken promises, and the president’s dubious focus on symbolic, inside-baseball messaging rather than substantive issues. It underscores the absurdity of the campaign moments and media framing surrounding the elections.

What is mentioned in this The Daily Show episode?

83 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Democratic Party, Donald Trump, 2026 United States midterm elections, John Stewart, Republican Party, Blue Wave. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "Jon Stewart and The Best F**king News Team Cover the 2026 Midterm Elections | The Daily Show"?

The episode runs 48 min; the transcript is about 6,156 words in 68 timestamped sections.

More from The Daily Show

About this transcript: the episode's spoken words as captioned on YouTube, split into timestamped sections. Reclip.Me locates every person, work and idea in the text, keeps the time it is first named, and quotes the words around it verbatim. Last updated November 7, 2026.